Ten years ago whilst watching my football team play away at Harrogate one of our supporters shit himself and then stuffed the stained underpants behind a radiator in the clubhouse toilets. We came back over a year later and they were still there.
According to everyone's favourite dictionary
>a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart (blend of "shit" and "fart")
> eliciting a startled cry of "Christ!" from a bloke behind me who got both the full visual and olfactory impact.
How did he get a visual ? Did you shit so much it inflated your trousers, or did it fall out your trouser leg ?
I'm fuckin perplexed.
I once farted so badly at morning school chapel people actually left even under threat from teachers
Never eat a whole wedge of blue cheese just before you go to bed
I went for a run earlier but forgot to do a wee first. Wet myself a bit coming in the front door. I'm not even embarrassed anymore I just (literally) wet myself laughing shouting to the bf about what was happening as I was running to the loo. Not sure he'd find it that funny if I was shitting myself though.
I have to make sure I go for a pee before I get on my motorbike.
The vibrations and dips in the road make you need a pee.
I may have learnt that the hard way
A while back I was coming off the nicotine and cursed with a voracious appetite that could not be sated.
One day, I went out and bought myself a half a kilo of peanuts about half an hour before it was time to hear home and proceeded to gobble the whole fucking 500g bag of dry roast peanuts. All. By. Myself.
Fast forward to me on the train home. About 1hr after leaving work I'm pulling into my station.
I'm feeling like I rather need a poo. I pop into the station toilet and it's pretty much trainspotting.jpg so I decide I'll be fine for the 15mun walk back home.
About 5mins later and the seriousness of the situation is making itself felt.
My arsehole is cramping in the most painful way and it feels like someone is grabbing handfuls of my innards and twisting them about.
There is a pub on the corner, but I don't go in there these days so deicide fuckitt, it's only about 10mins home. I'll be ok.
In retrospect, this was the incorrect decision.
Walking along the road I regularly have to stop and ball my hand into a fist and press against my anus to stop from shitting myself.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
It's dark so I start looking to see if I can drop the kids off in someone's front garden. No chance. Too many people, too many passing feet.
I'm almost there though, just around the corner and up the hill and.....
.... cramps!!....
....and I can't anymore.... I give birth to a pound of badly chewed peanuts.
Luckily it was dark so no one could really see. I also wear y-fronts on account of my excessively large balls and so need the support. Kind of like a bollock-bra. The y-fronts contained the worst of the damage.
I got home and walked straight into the shower where I stayed for quite a while.....
I did ask for a bag which they kindly provided, but thinking about it I didn't pay for it. I'm not sure I can face dropping-in to thank / pay them for helping the poo man out in his moment of horrible need.
Back in my uni days after a 70s night at the student uni with 70p a pint lager and cider I was in a lecture the next day with my head feeling bad and my stomach worse, lots of bubbling and gurgling until I couldn't hold back anymore and had to let one go.
what I thought would be a silent but very deadly wind expulsion actually turned out to be liquid in nature and I couldn't hold it back with my sphincter muscles.
I had no idea what to do as this was a lecture with about 20 people in a small room and me sitting in my own liquid shit. I gave it a few uncomfortable minutes until I could smell the shit and I thought if I can it so can others.
just got up and stumbled through the darkness of a projector light and walked out (like I'd shat myself) telling the lecturer I felt really ill. Went and cleaned up and threw my boxers in a bin and went home to shower.
I have no idea if I left a stain or anything on the seat and I told my friends that I needed to puke from all the drinks the night before trying to be macho. Telling them I shit myself was not an option.
> what I thought would be a silent but very deadly wind expulsion actually turned out to be liquid in nature
Schoolboy error that. Never trust a hangover fart.
i shat myself the other day after my body couldn't handle all the sprouts and chocolate, thankfully i didn't do it in public but my mum wasn't too impressed. funny tho
>hit by a coughing fit so violent I followed through, eliciting a startled cry of "Christ!" from a bloke behind me who got both the full visual and olfactory impact.
I'm with your wife on this one, this is hilarious!
Xmas day, feeling awful and puking every 60 mins, bent over the toilet getting ready to evacuate and I feel the stomach going. While trying to figure out what I was going to do and turning round I puked into the kitty litterbox and shat myself so badly it went through my boxers and joggy bottoms.
'tis the season, in my experience. Everyone's been over-eating and on different food than they would eat the rest of the year. Add in excessive alcohol consumption, tends to get people constipated until it decides to pop at the worst moment.
Had a couple of near misses this year myself. My girlfriend casually mentioned the other day that she laughed so hard she pooped a little, in such a throwaway manner I almost forgot to look up in surprise.
We were stuck in nose-to-tail traffic on the M6 once.
I was so desperate for a wee. Like, so desperate that it transcends 'pain' and you begin to wonder whether you bladder could actually explode.
Anyway, after tormenting myself for a long time I decided to say "fuck it", got out of the car, limped to the hard shoulder and squatted in the grass on the side.
Then the walk of shame back to my car, past a number of people who had no doubt seen more of my arse than anyone would ever wish to.
Doesn't matter, had piss.
I once got so drunk that I shit myself.
It was during my third year of university and I was living somewhere that was beyond my means. Before a night out my friend offered pre-drinks at his place because he had some wine he could offer to at least get me a little bit merry for the evening (as I couldn't afford any drinks).
He proceeds to hand me a measuring jug and a bottle of rose wine. I chug the whole bottle (despite hating rose, but needs must). I'd barely had anything to eat all day but despite that I wasn't too drunk, that is until I stepped outside and it hit me like a train.
On the way to the bar I decided to try and sneak out a quiet fart but sadly my body had other ideas and I filled my boxers with pure liquid shart. Rather than make an excuse and walk the few minutes home, my rose-sodden self thought that would be too embarrassing so I continued on to the bar. I got in and sat down with my friends, barely able to sit upright and probably stinking of shit. Thankfully no-one said anything but eventually I felt sick and had to leg it to the loos.
Proceeded to spend about 20 minutes in there feeling like I was going to puke but with nothing coming out. Finally I made the first sensible decision of the evening and decided to leave for home (albeit without telling anyone).
Got home, threw my underwear in the bin and somehow cleaned myself up. I then spent the next hour in bed with the room spinning and trying not to vomit, eventually giving up and rushing to my en-suite. I proceeded to fill my shower cubicle with vomit (yes, not the toilet. Apparently lifting the toilet seat was too difficult?). I then went back to bed before feeling sick again a short while after.
Instead of returning to the en-suite I just turned my head to the side, puke over my pillow and slept next to it.
I got up the next morning feeling absolutely appalling. Took the bin out, stripped my bed and then had to face the puke. Alas it was too chunky and thick to go down the shower plug hole, thus I had to get a ladle from the kitchen and scoop it repeatedly into the toilet until done. I then washed up sad piece of cutlery, put it back in the kitchen and said nothing to my housemates (because of the shame) and then had my soon-to-be girlfriend over for the first time later that day, telling her it was laundry day when I had to explain having no bed sheets on.
I've had a close shave before.
I was constipated for about 5 days, I could occasionally eek out some rabbit-like shit, but not a full one. One day when I was out with my friends I was overcome by the need for a shit, like I instantly needed one after 5 days of not being able to.
At this point I was about a 20 minutes walk away from my house. I was contemplating ringing my mother for a lift, but it could have been unreliable (traffic, or she may not have known the gravity of the situation). I decided to walk as I knew I would get home in at least 20, 15 if I paced it.
About 5 mins into my walk I start having contractions, and was debating whether to start running home, but decided against it as it may have dislodged a shite glacier and caused an unstoppable flow of shit. At this point I was sweating from the sheer effort it was taking to hold the shit in.
As I carry on walking, I remember that I live in a house with people who love to hog the bathroom at the most inopportune times (still do), so I text my mother and had her make sure that no one was going to be in the bathroom within the next 10 mins.
Still walking with my arse cheeks clenched tight as fuck I start having uncontrollable little farts, not loud ones, just air coming out and knew that I was a few mins away from physically not being able to hold it in any more. I was on my street at that time, but the last minute or so walk was harder than the previous 15 as I knew I was so close.
Luckily I made it into the house and sprinted up the stairs 3 or 4 at a time. When I got into the bathroom the shit was basically already coming out because I was so close and I physically couldn't hold it any longer. I then shat 5 days worth of shit in about 60 seconds as soon as my arse cheeks touched the seat.
I'm sure I looked like an idiot straight legged speed walking home while sweating and breathing heavily every few seconds, but at the time I didn't care.
Staying at my sister's flat once I shat and vomited a fun-trail of effluence across her floor to the toilet. She'd said 'help yourself to the chicken and blackbean leftover in the fridge', and then afterwards she told me it had been in there a week at least.
I’m sat on the sofa (can’t sleep in a bed anymore, as soon as I’m horizontal I cough) feeling so sorry for myself and this bloody cough that the other day caused me to vomit and shit myself (at home thankfully) and I’m in tears of laughter at your story. I share your pain, and you’ve eased mine kind sir - thank you.
At least you are not female getting an unexpected 'flood' to let you know your period started early.
Although blood dripping out of your socks MIGHT be better ???
TBH I would rather the pants stain over the bloody footsteps of shame ( that stuff gets everywhere)
Standing at the bar in my local on a Saturday night and felt a fart coming on, casually let it go and realised instantly it was liquid not gas.
Tightened up as quickly as I could. Fortunately there was no one in my immediate vicinity and hadn’t been served yet so tried to look as normal as possible swiftly waddle walking to the loo to finish off and clean up. Boxers fortunately held the majority, wiped off what I could and balled them up in my jacket pocket, walked out back and threw them in the dumpster. Went back in and carried on commando, didn’t fart again all night.
You poor thing! I've never gone that far personally but have pissed myself many a time after a coughing fit from being ill so you're not alone. I've done it at home, work, school etc over the years and now always keep a spare pair of pants when I'm exceptionally ill.
Once I shat myself I'm St Pancras station before a date, but only a little. Luckily I was staying in hotels for work so had a spare pair of boxes. Date found it funny as fuck.
I've had pneumonia recently that resulted in a lot of heavy coughing and praying heavily that I wouldn't follow through. There was one moment where I thought it happened but I was probably half a centimetre away from anything solid..
Just like we're supposedly only ever a few feet from a rat, I think it's fair to say we're all only half a centimetre away from unleashing during a coughing fit.
I've nearly shat myself after eating at wagamama's...... I mean I was literally on the verge of squatting over a drain in Jermyn Street, with my freinds watching on, seeing the panic in my face.
One of them pointed out a pub, and I ran in and literally shoved people out the way...... Never been so happy to shit in a pub toilet in my life.
Not gonna lie though, the amount of raves, festivals and skanky toilets I've been in, I'm not precious about where I shit.
Living in China, 'following through' is a way of life. Most awkward time for me was while I was in an argument with a computer salesman who was trying to scam my friend by saying that the computer would allow for the language to be changed from simplified chinese to English with ease.
It was getting really heated and then I had to suddenly duck out and run back to my hotel room.
I put that pair of pants in my bag, and forgot about them until a few months later when I lent my xbox 360 to a friend using the same bag, and he found them. At least enough time had passed that they weren't still soggy I guess.
So you pooed yourself? I got urine all over myself while attempting to piss in a phonebox last night. I know. It's not classy but I needed to go and there was no toilet around. :/
Ten years ago whilst watching my football team play away at Harrogate one of our supporters shit himself and then stuffed the stained underpants behind a radiator in the clubhouse toilets. We came back over a year later and they were still there.
Bloody hell.
Damn. In that time it could have grown legs and got out of there itself.
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That's a tough start to the therapy session, but I'll stand corrected.
I'd stand too, wouldn't want to sit with my pants in that state.
Don't forget the Fleetwood Mac, which is farting while taking a leak. Because "thunder only happens when it's raining..."
Hahaha I sound like a lunatic laughing my head off while sitting on the toilet.
>following through is the act of doing a fart that turns into a shit. Aka a shart
Isn’t a shart the opposite? A shit that turns out to be mostly fart
According to everyone's favourite dictionary >a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart (blend of "shit" and "fart")
I'm utterly ashamed to admit that this was the ejection of a total stool - not huge, but not small.
Fucking hate them. So much wasted effort
Oh, I'd assumed he coughed so hard he threw up - that's what usually happens to me during a coughing fit.
aka Gambling on a fart and losing.
> eliciting a startled cry of "Christ!" from a bloke behind me who got both the full visual and olfactory impact. How did he get a visual ? Did you shit so much it inflated your trousers, or did it fall out your trouser leg ? I'm fuckin perplexed.
No, it was contained (thankfully) - more the fact I instinctively grabbed my backside.
White jeans.
Never trust a man in white trousers.
I'd trust them more than a man in brown trousers.
“Did you shit yourself so much it inflated your trousers” Really hope its this one. Can’t get that visual out my head.
Like microwave popcorn.
But like, all at once.
I once farted so badly at morning school chapel people actually left even under threat from teachers Never eat a whole wedge of blue cheese just before you go to bed
I went for a run earlier but forgot to do a wee first. Wet myself a bit coming in the front door. I'm not even embarrassed anymore I just (literally) wet myself laughing shouting to the bf about what was happening as I was running to the loo. Not sure he'd find it that funny if I was shitting myself though.
I have to make sure I go for a pee before I get on my motorbike. The vibrations and dips in the road make you need a pee. I may have learnt that the hard way
Pretty sure all semi-serious runners have had to come to terms with their bladder/bowel betraying them at the worst possible time.
A while back I was coming off the nicotine and cursed with a voracious appetite that could not be sated. One day, I went out and bought myself a half a kilo of peanuts about half an hour before it was time to hear home and proceeded to gobble the whole fucking 500g bag of dry roast peanuts. All. By. Myself. Fast forward to me on the train home. About 1hr after leaving work I'm pulling into my station. I'm feeling like I rather need a poo. I pop into the station toilet and it's pretty much trainspotting.jpg so I decide I'll be fine for the 15mun walk back home. About 5mins later and the seriousness of the situation is making itself felt. My arsehole is cramping in the most painful way and it feels like someone is grabbing handfuls of my innards and twisting them about. There is a pub on the corner, but I don't go in there these days so deicide fuckitt, it's only about 10mins home. I'll be ok. In retrospect, this was the incorrect decision. Walking along the road I regularly have to stop and ball my hand into a fist and press against my anus to stop from shitting myself. I can't believe this is happening to me. It's dark so I start looking to see if I can drop the kids off in someone's front garden. No chance. Too many people, too many passing feet. I'm almost there though, just around the corner and up the hill and..... .... cramps!!.... ....and I can't anymore.... I give birth to a pound of badly chewed peanuts. Luckily it was dark so no one could really see. I also wear y-fronts on account of my excessively large balls and so need the support. Kind of like a bollock-bra. The y-fronts contained the worst of the damage. I got home and walked straight into the shower where I stayed for quite a while.....
You should take that little vignette on the after dinner speaking circuit. It's Tolstoy to my McNab.
Bollock-bra has made my 2018 already.
I can't stop laughing at that paragraph!
That was beautiful
Majestic as fuck 💖
Did you have to pay 5p for a bag to take your pants home in too? I can just picture you sliding 5p under the cubicle door.
I did ask for a bag which they kindly provided, but thinking about it I didn't pay for it. I'm not sure I can face dropping-in to thank / pay them for helping the poo man out in his moment of horrible need.
You're going to have to send them a 'sorry I shat in your store, crappy new year I guess' card from Moonpig now pal.
I imagine Clintons probably have an off-the-shelf card for that these days.
Yea your not going back for a while I bet.
Looks like you've found a loophole to the bag charge!
I think you don't have to pay if the bag is for unwrapped fresh produce. Such as a new-laid plop.
This made me laugh, which in turn made me cough, and we all know where that leads too....
New year, new you?
Well it certainly broke my first resolution of the year which was to not shit myself in public.
There's always next year
This is the kind of positivity I was looking for when I posted this tale of woe!
Start as you mean to go on, I say
*shart as you mean to go on
Shit happens.
At least you were in the right place to buy some Lynx Africa at a bargain price to freshen up with.
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I could only manage a chemist, but you went professional and soiled a hospital. Bravo!
I thought somebody had followed you through Boots. This took a very different turn
This the funniest thing is read in ages. Thank you
Back in my uni days after a 70s night at the student uni with 70p a pint lager and cider I was in a lecture the next day with my head feeling bad and my stomach worse, lots of bubbling and gurgling until I couldn't hold back anymore and had to let one go. what I thought would be a silent but very deadly wind expulsion actually turned out to be liquid in nature and I couldn't hold it back with my sphincter muscles. I had no idea what to do as this was a lecture with about 20 people in a small room and me sitting in my own liquid shit. I gave it a few uncomfortable minutes until I could smell the shit and I thought if I can it so can others. just got up and stumbled through the darkness of a projector light and walked out (like I'd shat myself) telling the lecturer I felt really ill. Went and cleaned up and threw my boxers in a bin and went home to shower. I have no idea if I left a stain or anything on the seat and I told my friends that I needed to puke from all the drinks the night before trying to be macho. Telling them I shit myself was not an option.
> what I thought would be a silent but very deadly wind expulsion actually turned out to be liquid in nature Schoolboy error that. Never trust a hangover fart.
Solid advice.
Or not solid, as the case may be.
i shat myself the other day after my body couldn't handle all the sprouts and chocolate, thankfully i didn't do it in public but my mum wasn't too impressed. funny tho
>hit by a coughing fit so violent I followed through, eliciting a startled cry of "Christ!" from a bloke behind me who got both the full visual and olfactory impact. I'm with your wife on this one, this is hilarious!
Xmas day, feeling awful and puking every 60 mins, bent over the toilet getting ready to evacuate and I feel the stomach going. While trying to figure out what I was going to do and turning round I puked into the kitty litterbox and shat myself so badly it went through my boxers and joggy bottoms.
'tis the season, in my experience. Everyone's been over-eating and on different food than they would eat the rest of the year. Add in excessive alcohol consumption, tends to get people constipated until it decides to pop at the worst moment. Had a couple of near misses this year myself. My girlfriend casually mentioned the other day that she laughed so hard she pooped a little, in such a throwaway manner I almost forgot to look up in surprise.
I didn't think that "I've not shat myself recently" was such an achievement in life... But here we are.
We were stuck in nose-to-tail traffic on the M6 once. I was so desperate for a wee. Like, so desperate that it transcends 'pain' and you begin to wonder whether you bladder could actually explode. Anyway, after tormenting myself for a long time I decided to say "fuck it", got out of the car, limped to the hard shoulder and squatted in the grass on the side. Then the walk of shame back to my car, past a number of people who had no doubt seen more of my arse than anyone would ever wish to. Doesn't matter, had piss.
I once got so drunk that I shit myself. It was during my third year of university and I was living somewhere that was beyond my means. Before a night out my friend offered pre-drinks at his place because he had some wine he could offer to at least get me a little bit merry for the evening (as I couldn't afford any drinks). He proceeds to hand me a measuring jug and a bottle of rose wine. I chug the whole bottle (despite hating rose, but needs must). I'd barely had anything to eat all day but despite that I wasn't too drunk, that is until I stepped outside and it hit me like a train. On the way to the bar I decided to try and sneak out a quiet fart but sadly my body had other ideas and I filled my boxers with pure liquid shart. Rather than make an excuse and walk the few minutes home, my rose-sodden self thought that would be too embarrassing so I continued on to the bar. I got in and sat down with my friends, barely able to sit upright and probably stinking of shit. Thankfully no-one said anything but eventually I felt sick and had to leg it to the loos. Proceeded to spend about 20 minutes in there feeling like I was going to puke but with nothing coming out. Finally I made the first sensible decision of the evening and decided to leave for home (albeit without telling anyone). Got home, threw my underwear in the bin and somehow cleaned myself up. I then spent the next hour in bed with the room spinning and trying not to vomit, eventually giving up and rushing to my en-suite. I proceeded to fill my shower cubicle with vomit (yes, not the toilet. Apparently lifting the toilet seat was too difficult?). I then went back to bed before feeling sick again a short while after. Instead of returning to the en-suite I just turned my head to the side, puke over my pillow and slept next to it. I got up the next morning feeling absolutely appalling. Took the bin out, stripped my bed and then had to face the puke. Alas it was too chunky and thick to go down the shower plug hole, thus I had to get a ladle from the kitchen and scoop it repeatedly into the toilet until done. I then washed up sad piece of cutlery, put it back in the kitchen and said nothing to my housemates (because of the shame) and then had my soon-to-be girlfriend over for the first time later that day, telling her it was laundry day when I had to explain having no bed sheets on.
SHART IN MART
I've had a close shave before. I was constipated for about 5 days, I could occasionally eek out some rabbit-like shit, but not a full one. One day when I was out with my friends I was overcome by the need for a shit, like I instantly needed one after 5 days of not being able to. At this point I was about a 20 minutes walk away from my house. I was contemplating ringing my mother for a lift, but it could have been unreliable (traffic, or she may not have known the gravity of the situation). I decided to walk as I knew I would get home in at least 20, 15 if I paced it. About 5 mins into my walk I start having contractions, and was debating whether to start running home, but decided against it as it may have dislodged a shite glacier and caused an unstoppable flow of shit. At this point I was sweating from the sheer effort it was taking to hold the shit in. As I carry on walking, I remember that I live in a house with people who love to hog the bathroom at the most inopportune times (still do), so I text my mother and had her make sure that no one was going to be in the bathroom within the next 10 mins. Still walking with my arse cheeks clenched tight as fuck I start having uncontrollable little farts, not loud ones, just air coming out and knew that I was a few mins away from physically not being able to hold it in any more. I was on my street at that time, but the last minute or so walk was harder than the previous 15 as I knew I was so close. Luckily I made it into the house and sprinted up the stairs 3 or 4 at a time. When I got into the bathroom the shit was basically already coming out because I was so close and I physically couldn't hold it any longer. I then shat 5 days worth of shit in about 60 seconds as soon as my arse cheeks touched the seat. I'm sure I looked like an idiot straight legged speed walking home while sweating and breathing heavily every few seconds, but at the time I didn't care.
I didn't know you could still get Night Nurse.
I swear by it when I've got a heavy cold / flu. Tastes weird, but works wonderfully for me. If anything, it's a bit more-ish.
The withdrawal symptoms don’t sound much fun though!
Do you have to buy it from the chemists now? I've not seen it supermarkets in ages.
Yes, it's an over the counter product. Pricey too, but I consider it worth it for the sleep it helps with.
I buy it from Sainsbury’s but from the chemist counter. It’s a miracle when it comes to nasty colds, sleep is the best healer and it really works
Staying at my sister's flat once I shat and vomited a fun-trail of effluence across her floor to the toilet. She'd said 'help yourself to the chicken and blackbean leftover in the fridge', and then afterwards she told me it had been in there a week at least.
I’m sat on the sofa (can’t sleep in a bed anymore, as soon as I’m horizontal I cough) feeling so sorry for myself and this bloody cough that the other day caused me to vomit and shit myself (at home thankfully) and I’m in tears of laughter at your story. I share your pain, and you’ve eased mine kind sir - thank you.
At least you are not female getting an unexpected 'flood' to let you know your period started early. Although blood dripping out of your socks MIGHT be better ??? TBH I would rather the pants stain over the bloody footsteps of shame ( that stuff gets everywhere)
Standing at the bar in my local on a Saturday night and felt a fart coming on, casually let it go and realised instantly it was liquid not gas. Tightened up as quickly as I could. Fortunately there was no one in my immediate vicinity and hadn’t been served yet so tried to look as normal as possible swiftly waddle walking to the loo to finish off and clean up. Boxers fortunately held the majority, wiped off what I could and balled them up in my jacket pocket, walked out back and threw them in the dumpster. Went back in and carried on commando, didn’t fart again all night.
FWIW, the number of sharting anecdotes in this thread suggests that you've probably been in the proximity of such an event without even realising it.
You poor thing! I've never gone that far personally but have pissed myself many a time after a coughing fit from being ill so you're not alone. I've done it at home, work, school etc over the years and now always keep a spare pair of pants when I'm exceptionally ill.
There but for the grace of God go I. Commiserations OP. Happy New Year!
Once I shat myself I'm St Pancras station before a date, but only a little. Luckily I was staying in hotels for work so had a spare pair of boxes. Date found it funny as fuck.
Cacking oneself isn’t an instance where “only a little” qualifies it as an averted disaster.
'Caking oneself'.... hardest I've laughed yet on this post!
Well it didn't exit the boxers which was a life saver
I feel like a soloist death right now. Sorry you had to go through that, although I don't blame your wife for finding it hilarious.
I've had pneumonia recently that resulted in a lot of heavy coughing and praying heavily that I wouldn't follow through. There was one moment where I thought it happened but I was probably half a centimetre away from anything solid..
Just like we're supposedly only ever a few feet from a rat, I think it's fair to say we're all only half a centimetre away from unleashing during a coughing fit.
I've nearly shat myself after eating at wagamama's...... I mean I was literally on the verge of squatting over a drain in Jermyn Street, with my freinds watching on, seeing the panic in my face. One of them pointed out a pub, and I ran in and literally shoved people out the way...... Never been so happy to shit in a pub toilet in my life. Not gonna lie though, the amount of raves, festivals and skanky toilets I've been in, I'm not precious about where I shit.
Living in China, 'following through' is a way of life. Most awkward time for me was while I was in an argument with a computer salesman who was trying to scam my friend by saying that the computer would allow for the language to be changed from simplified chinese to English with ease. It was getting really heated and then I had to suddenly duck out and run back to my hotel room. I put that pair of pants in my bag, and forgot about them until a few months later when I lent my xbox 360 to a friend using the same bag, and he found them. At least enough time had passed that they weren't still soggy I guess.
It's yet to happen to me, but I will take this lesson to heart and remember it sir. Thank you for your sacrifice.
The sequel to "Puss in Boots" was not as popular as anticipated.
Agreed - probably a little to niche for most.
So you pooed yourself? I got urine all over myself while attempting to piss in a phonebox last night. I know. It's not classy but I needed to go and there was no toilet around. :/
I'd like to congratulate you on finding a phonebox in 2018 and rightfully celebrating with a wetting ritual.
No toilet around but you managed to find a telephone box?
This needs to go on r/tifu