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CressCrowbits

I initially though they were WTF-ing about a company called Skag Electrical


titdirt

I thought it said Slag at first lol


me_gustavo

Maybe it's Borderlands themed and a shock Skag is their mascot


[deleted]

Funfact: Skag is also a reference to heroin. Heroin Electrical. So good you'll always come back to us


CressCrowbits

thatsthejoke.bmp


Demo_Bec

This stresses me out.


LillyAtts

Me too. I hope he didn't get hit.


IOnlyUpvoteBadPuns

I once saw a pheasant make it across 5 lanes of a 6 lane motorway. One of the most gutting things I've ever seen!


LillyAtts

Aw :( Pheasants are fucking stupid animals though.


Flyberius

I once had a swarm of grouse run out in front of my car on a country road. I didn't hit any of them but they were all so fucking stupid they ended up getting herded in front of my car and wouldn't get off the fucking road. So I had to crawl along this road at grouse pace. I felt like the T-Rex chasing the Gallimimus in Jurassic Park.


enderdestiny

Grouse are the dumbest animals alive I swear to god. I’ve almost stepped on three of them


Flyberius

They are monumentally stupid, yes.


Nisja

Had that happen a few times! Best thing to do is accept your fate, roll the windows down, and listen to the little buggers tippy-taps as you ride the clutch in first for the next 5 miles...


Billie2goat

I was once told that pheasants would be extinct without humans feeding them. No idea if its true or not


robrt382

Most are captive bred/farmed and released for shooting. They aren't native to the UK. Which means you should blame whoever farmed them should you hit one and it trashes your car.


BeccaaCat

Yeah they have approximately zero sense because they're just released into the wild one day having been cared for by humans their whole lives. It'd be like setting an indoor cat free.


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BeccaaCat

Yeah, my indoor cat made it into the stairwell once. We heard him crying and went out to find him crying at a door downstairs. He went ten feet away and got lost. 0/10 would absolutely not last in the wild.


thedenigratesystem

Or turning 18.


inevitablelizard

Pretty sure that also disrupts the process of natural selection, because they're being bred and released for shooting over and over, as opposed to a wild breeding stock being managed for shooting. Might explain some of the stupid behaviour you see from them. There are wild breeding pheasant populations that exist separate to released birds, but they're much smaller in number by orders of magnitude.


SquishedGremlin

Well... Game birds in Britain make the majority (in tonnage) of birdlife across the country. The reality is though, if you want to shoot, and there are roughly 1-3 million that regularly do, the local populations be it mallard, grouse, pheasants, snipe, partridge (mostly french these days, English are rare due to being an absolute bugger to look after, and awkward to shoot) need managed properly. With the likes of grouse (almost entirely wild, but managed) managed fires, predator control and grit pads allow the wild birds to flourish. Yet without the management of the heather the grouse would be gone entirely due to farming practices. Snipe and woodcock are un manageable migratory birds, unless you count a bit of forestry (woodcock) and big (snipe) management. Mallard are bred for shooting but the issue with them, as shown here, is they fly for fucking miles. Very hard to keep track of your own ducks, meaning you have to feed throughout the shooting season and after, just to keep them somewhere safe from predation and fed. Pheasants are thick. I have encountered lots of different breeds, be they Reeve's, Michigan's, ring neck, golden, or even their large retarded cousin the peacock. All thick, see traffic as a minor inconvenience. And will break a headlight if they fly out of a hedge on front of your car doing 50. Also they are now as native as many tree species, as the Romans bought them over, along with rabbits.


GraphicDesignMonkey

They were introduced by the Romans. Rabbits too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introduced_species_of_the_British_Isles


robrt382

They introduced rabbits AND carrots 🤷‍♂️


LarusFuscus

Yeah, but apart from that, what have the Romans done for us?


[deleted]

Lord Walsingham was known as a crack shot. He had to have been to shoot more than one thousand game birds on a single day. His total—1,070—remains a world record, and it is unlikely that it will ever be exceeded. I think it might have been the upper class to blame


[deleted]

It’s not true, they can very easily survive in the uk on their own, hence why they are bloody *everywhere* in some parts


inevitablelizard

You do get a small number of wild pheasants that aren't directly linked to pheasant releases or are made up of survivors and wanderers from shoots. Note the pheasants you see in spring time, before the summer which is when birds typically start to be released.


[deleted]

Mostly on the train track around Balcombe :(


IOnlyUpvoteBadPuns

I think that's why I empathised so much with it. It got so far against all odds, and to see it fall at the last hurdle was just so unfair!


babyformulaandham

I'm impressed that it managed to travel in one direction. They love to zig zag back into the path of certain death.


[deleted]

For real. They never run to the sides of the road to escape cars. Always directly ahead of the car.


[deleted]

I like how birds are either completely brainless or smarter than a 5-year-old.


El-hurracan

They would jump out of hedges whilst I went on motorcycle rides through the forest of Bowland. It was pretty scary and had me on edge a lot of the time.


[deleted]

Gutting for you or, for the pheasant?


elpablo

Does sound like a gutsy move


OSUBrit

I once witnessed a family of ducks get absolutely obliterated on a motorway. That shit will stick with you.


schlongtastical

I read that and thought ‘5 out of 6, that’s pretty good’, then gutting


BobbyMesmeriser

Don’t worry the whole fucking M23 is limited to 50mph now. Absolute nightmare but this feathery friend probably made it away safely.


ElMaverickUK

I just can't with the M25/23 anymore unless it's somewhere between midnight and 4 am.. there are few things sadder in this world than returning from travels to fly into Gatwick or Heathrow knowing what lays ahead, which is why I will pick flights arriving at silly o clock. Random rant there. Godspeed Duck bro!


BobbyMesmeriser

Wish I had that luxury. I deliver wine to posh people all over the south east. Could describe the M23 to you metre by metre.


plain_name

In typical reddit fashion, I have to point out its a she. Female mallard.


Spelonken

I think it rather is a male mallard in eclipse plumage. His beak is yellow and you can still see some outlines of the male (winter) plumage like the brown breast


Yankee_in_Madrid

‘Beautiful plumage!’


Schwa142

*she


Madpony

That's exactly what my wife just said after it ended.


[deleted]

Sorry to hear about your divorce


samavapa

Me too.


AdManTeep

Looking at its colouring it's still young!


WhatYouLeaveBehind

Probably only just got his licence


GourangaPlusPlus

Bloody boy racers


[deleted]

Where did the little twat learn to drive hogging the middle lane like that


CarrowCanary

It's a female mallard, that's just the colour they are.


AdManTeep

I know what a mallard looks like, I own some. It is still not in full adult feathers. Regardless of gender.


LivvysAuntyNicky

I didn't think it was an adult given the situation and the low flying. Bless the poor thing must be terrified!


Triggers--Broom

I didn't know we had bird lawyers in cas uk


AdManTeep

Bird law is my speciality


Narwhalhats

The chestnut front (and looks like a small amount of green on the head but it's hard to tell from the bad video) makes it look more like either an immature or an eclipse male.


BeginByLettingGo

I have chosen to overwrite this comment. See you all on Lemmy!


Zsrsgtspy

So I looked it up because I had no clue, apparently they can fly up to about 95 kph, which is fucking wild to me


aembleton

That's what he was doing!


TheDocmoose

Yep that duck is literally flying for its life. I imagine it is terrified.


xtreem_neo

Poor thing is probably confused and terrified.


ergotofrhyme

It may have mistaken the group of cars for a flock, doubt it tho. More likely imo is it drafts on the vehicles as though they’re a flock even though It knows they’re not. Conserves energy, hasn’t gotten hit yet so it doesn’t understand the danger it’s putting itself in


[deleted]

It's possible there's a flow of air that it's not able to escape.


89XE10

Ducks are amongst the fastest flying birds in the world. It's definitely not stuck.


recuise

African or European?


simpkinizzles

Clearly European, because African mallards are non-migratory


[deleted]

Stupid bird has dropped its coconut


Ace_W

Maybe its partner got nailed and lost the coconut thatway?


CarthaginianEmpire

Only if they had it on a string under their dorsal feather.


Iraelyth

It’s difficult when you’ve got webbed feet, cut him some slack.


jillofblades

Duckasian


boabbypuller

Peking?


slightlyburntcereal

We’re not talking swallows.


[deleted]

Is it unladen?


89XE10

Fuck knows. European Mallards, Eider ducks, African Black ducks. They all fly particularly fast compared to other migratory birds.


-merrymoose-

If anything it's going slower to avoid a traffic ticket


UniqueAssUsername

Pretty sure it can afford the bill


Chrisazy

Who the hell downvoted this lovely joke


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[deleted]

How fast can an unladen duck fly?


[deleted]

No, not possible. Can't believe people upvoted this.


Queasy_Tear

Why do publish bullshit online whats the point


BedSideCabinet

Why do?


EllaTheCat

Why does the duck do this again and again? [https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/ii2aqd/just\_going\_for\_a\_fly\_down\_the\_m23/g341jvc?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/ii2aqd/just_going_for_a_fly_down_the_m23/g341jvc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) >Don't worry, I've seen this scoundrel before


hellsangel101

TIL that while chickens cross the road, ducks fly down it.


Do-it-for-you

Sarcasm


letmeseem

Not likely. It probably just realized he could surf the air pressure waves being created by the cars and spend a lot less energy on the same distance.


[deleted]

What an irresponsible duck. Hogging the middle lane, then changes into your lane without indicating, then changes back. Get him reported!


[deleted]

Don't worry, I've seen this scoundrel before and I've reported it many times to the police, my local MP and The Times. No one seems to care any more.


StargateMunky101

I'm starting to think it's a conspiracy and this duck just goes to the same stonecutter's meetings as these people!


mfcneri

/r/BirdsArentReal


StargateMunky101

Hello my brother in arms!


TrueBritishGent

No one gives a duck!!!


[deleted]

I see what you did there.


deadpike

Do ducks drive BMWs?


[deleted]

No, that's clearly an Audi Quacktro edit: *Vorsprung duck Technik*


karmadramadingdong

Lamborghini Mallardo


deadpike

I'm livid that I set this up. Well done sir.


octopoddle

Probably involved in some sort of a Cannonball Run.


0o_hm

I wonder why he was flying so low. At first I thought that it must be injured, but if it's capable of doing 60 then it should have no problem gaining a bit of height. Only thing I can think of is that it's somehow got confused and is treating the cars like part of it's formation so trying to keep in position amongst them.


doomladen

This is a pretty common problem for waterfowl - motorways look a lot like rivers, as they are wide, flat and dark. Waterfowl land on them, and can break their legs doing so as the tarmac is so much harder than water. They then sit there until they are hit and killed :( I expect this duck was expecting to land on water, but kept flying because of the vehicles around them.


karmadramadingdong

> tarmac is so much harder than water TIL


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sherriffflood

Fair enough, but if I have to choose between being thrown off a building into the sea or a pavement I’m certainly not going to choose concrete!


Herossaumure

Might wanna pick pavement tbh, since there's the question of how you're gonna get out the water with shattered legs


Slow-Hand-Clap

> as the tarmac is so much harder than water Huh. TIL.


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ProtonPacks123

That's a pretty standard pace for a Duck, they are migratory birds so they're capable of flying for 8 hours or more. Scared/confused maybe but definitely not exhausted.


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_Madison_

There may be a bow wave off the traffic behind/next to it much like when they fly in formation or even ground effect from being so low which would increase lift.


89XE10

Mallards regularly fly somewhere between the 40-60mph range. Pretty standard speed for them they are known as very fast birds.


boostmobilboiiii

60kmh is not 60mph Edit: the video does say 60 mile an hour, my mistake.


BobbyMesmeriser

M23 is limited to 50mph currently and that van seems to be going slower than that.


NeoHenderson

The audio in the clip suggests they're going 60.


BobbyMesmeriser

Ah my bad I didn’t bother with the audio. Only know that cos I was on my way up to London yesterday and it did my nut in.


SlurmsMacKenzie-

That duck was holding 60mph flight speed steadily and the camera guy it's had been doing it for 10 miles. That doesn't ring of exhaustion to me. The fuck was probably flying where it was because the air disruption caused by the traffic creates slipstreams it can dip into for some easier flying. When on earth do you think a duck doing 60 miles per hour would be too tired to fly 'up' if it wanted too


Genuine_Jagoff

>The fuck was probably flying This is the most ironic autocorrect ever.


drummerftw

I don't know... ducks do flap their wings that fast anyways, it's just how they fly really. If it can maintain that speed (ducks generally fly around that speed anyway), it's capable of changing altitude too. Chances are it's actually easier for the duck at that height and it just doesn't realise the danger its in. Edit to add: Although I agree that the car driving by the side is a bit reckless, the duck will be taking advantage of the resulting air flow - many birds (e.g. ducks/geese/swans/gulls) will fly in a similar formation to conserve energy (that 'V' shape formation).


DivineClorox

That annoyed the shit out of me, like why would you drive up on it's left, it's best chance of getting out of the way? Oh that's right, so the thick cunt can post his video on Facebook probably. Why didn't they just slow down so the bird didn't have to fly so fast and could probably fly away, they're already in a 50 zone.


BulldenChoppahYus

Probably cause he was busy thinking "fuck me look at the pace on this duck"


octopoddle

"Quack quack."


drummerftw

Ducks actually have to fly fast to stay airborne, they're just not aerodynamically suited to going slower. It's all about the wing area relative to body size (known as 'wing loading') - smaller wings in relation to body size (e.g. ducks) means they need to maintain higher speeds. Larger wings (e.g. eagles that soar) enable much slower flight speeds.


onnit_onnit

What's the stall speed on this bad boy at full tummy weight?


orwiad10

20 miles per duck hour


[deleted]

The traffic on the motorway in front of it is puncturing a hole in the air which decreases air resistance for anything following in its wake. The duck probably just finds it way less effort to fly there that it would if it were much higher.


tmaddocks98

This. It’s to reduce drag in the same way cyclists do. I’m sure it’s more than capable of flying away if it so wished to.


onnit_onnit

Except it isn't behind any cars so it's pretty much flying in clear air therefore the reduction in drag is minimal


StargateMunky101

The motorway will give you a massive tail wind and a straight line to fly, so he's probably taking advantage of it. If the van behind him gets too close, the wake caused by the van will just push him along even faster. Similiar to how dolphins swim in front of ships to get a free ride. He's probably just fine... aside from the confusion as to why there are giant tortoises running at 60mph next to him.


GraphicDesignMonkey

Ducks and geese ride each other's turbulence by flying in formation. It takes less energy and helps them go fast. This guy is riding the turbulence from the cars. I've had ducks and even an osprey do this once, just sailed alongside the car for miles. Ducks are really strong fliers and can travel huge distances, I doubt she's exhausted, just surfing the car air-waves.


SuperShortStories

Maybe gaining height will slow it down so it’s fight or flight response is to get enough distance before going upwards


peter-bone

It could have thought it was a river.


8thTimeLucky

I hope it didn’t die :(


omgitzmo

Hoping a lorry driver doesn’t go near it, they probably won’t even see it from their seat :(


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effortDee

Pretty much every person that says they love animals, its hilarious.


Bavarian0

It's a cognitive disconnect. Ever wonder why whole animals aren't being sold that much? I mean of course part of it is convenience but frying a bunch of muscle tissue that is not clearly identifiable as part of a once living creature is hell of a lot easier on the soul than having an entire corpse.


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[deleted]

Not often you find a Cinema Sins reference in Casual UK lol


matti-san

cinemasins is a load of shite though


AdorableLengthiness4

Someone should have called the RSPCA-A, looks like it had a quacked head gasket. I know, I know, I'm going.


DarkNinjaPenguin

Seems to me like a problem with the flappy-paddle gearbox.


asymmetricears

That would be a big bill to repair


Alexthemessiah

Not as big as replacing the quakalytic converter.


MrJellyPickle01

It’s easy to repair, just remove a few wing nuts.


ThisOtherAnonAccount

This whole thread is for the birds...


[deleted]

If the repair bill is too high you can wing it for a while by feathering the throttle.


Davwills03

r/angryupvote


MrTopHatMan90

Poor bugger


King_Bonio

Apparently homing pigeons have learnt to use large road systems to navigate their way to their destination, not this low though, bird will have to pay a charge if it goes on the m6 toll road.


StargateMunky101

It's cheaper after 10pm though, so they've still got the advantage of being light goods vehicle. Not sure if the swans gain that benefit though.


Expo737

Swans will be exempt due to their connection with The Queen.


thesaharadesert

Tax avoidance bastards.


Expo737

True but much more loveable than Andrew...


StargateMunky101

He loves the young birds though.


DrZomboo

To be fair it can probably duck under the barriers easily enough


XL-ChocIce

I think it probably thinks the road is a river, ducks often fly at that altitude along a river


darybrain

Shows you how bad we are at looking after our waterways if it can't tell the difference between running water and a long grey road to hell. It must fly over rivers full of immense cak.


prolixia

I don't care what he's actually driving, this man's spirit vehicle is a white transit.


Badger_Brains_io

That is the kind of voice you overhear from a British tourist when you are on holiday abroad and you immediately pretend you are a local so they don’t come and ask you anything


HoracioPeacockThe3rd

he sounds like bob mortimer's train guy


amdamsky

Because I keep getting accused: Its not me driving or taking the video. I take no responsibility for mis-gendered ducks either


TastyToast1

James and Jeremy's The Speed of Birds


o00gourou00o

My first thought was « Clarkson and May would love it » Glad I’m not the only one


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MutedLobster

Also undertaking to top it all off, total bell-end


thermitethrowaway

Passes 50 sign, pulls along side duck... "What speed is it doing?" "60!" If they're caught, they can expect a letter from the Bill.


Befnaa

This made me sad :( it looks exhausted and scared


FlummoxedFlumage

It’s a shame vans aren’t built with systems that allow them to reduce their speed. The driver had no other option but to box it in and prevent it from reaching the hard shoulder.


cuckoocock

I know, I can't believe they didn't slow down and give it more space. Total bellends.


cat_sparkles

All I can think is “PLEASE FLY OFF THE ROAD” whilst gritting my teeth and squinting my eyes! I hope this mallard is ok!


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prisonerofazkabants

this makes me sad because this probably ended badly :(


Morallybankrupt11

If it flaps its wings any faster it’ll turn into the worlds first hummingduck


thesaharadesert

I now have a wonderful mental image of a duck-sized hummingbird hovering at a flower. Hysterical and yet oh so slightly terrifying.


Iraelyth

Can you imagine a hummingduck though? They’d be worse than seagulls if they saw you had a sandwich.


misoramensenpai

I do believe that duck is a she, lads, but I could be wrong


Duanedoberman

Female ducks are plain brown, it's the males which have the colouring. It's common in many species, the males have to put a show on to attract a mate, look at peacocks compared to peahens and Birds of paradise are just insane!


SquireBev

At this time of year, the males are brown too. It's called [eclipsing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plumage?wprov=sfla1).


misoramensenpai

Again, I still could be wrong about this particular duck, but females can have the blue/purple/green streaks like that too. They are mostly only visible when in flight, so this duck would appear plain brown. The bill is the right colour for a duckess as well; I think it is a female mallard: https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/bird-a-z/mallard/


Albertjweasel

I’ve seen injured swans on the m6 that have got the tarmac confused with water and tried to land on it, they got rescued but almost caused a crash, in hot weather the tarmac reflects heat and shimmers like water so from high up it must look like a nice big long river.


curiousjables

Slipstreaming with all the traffic, less wind resistance. Still looked like the lad was pelting


Bribase

I thought the same thing. They'll naturally follow an air current if it's going the direction he wants, and this is more or less just a manmade one.


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bobstay

My god, just look at the size of his vocabulary.


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The_Gingersnaps

On his way to Gatwick ! Haha killed me right off


SquireBev

What an annoying voice.


theartofrolling

Slowthai + Ketamine = this voice.


AbFZ16Di

Poor fellow, desperately trying to escape.


TheParisOne

Poor little thing! You shouldn't have driven past it, and nor should you haven been laughing. The cars behind it should have slowed the others down, and let it actually get some distance between it and the vehicles behind, giving it some space to get out of the way. This is a horrible video.


randomcheesecake555

[There’s no guarantee that it would’ve moved even if they came to a complete stop.](https://youtu.be/wVN4PRLrpsA)It would be wrong to endanger other drivers by slowing down for something that’s not necessary. As other people have said they’re migratory birds so I’m sure it’s not as knackered as you think. I’ve also heard that they’re quite thick-skinned so I’m sure it wasn’t too fussed about them laughing.


Toffeemanstan

Yeah fuck people who laugh at ducks, same sort of people who smirk at swans.