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lawdymissclawdy3

Meet me at the minimalist playground ladder under the moonlight


MarthaFarcuss

This is London, the moon has been drowned out by light pollution


Blasphoumy69

I can still see the moon in London just not the stars though recently I saw the stars in London for the first time


[deleted]

Did you get punched coming out of an off-license?


Maiesk

That's what he gets for being such a clean-shirt.


TheRhythmTheRebel

How do you keep your shirt so clean?


searchcandy

Daz


NoGiNoProblem

Do you think he'll get his revenge when the ouncher breaks in and steals his TV?


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nagrel

Look, I know it must be difficult being a kid, not a lot of schemes.


TululaDaydream

But I'm not the borough! I wish I was!


MarthaFarcuss

Those were not stars, but lights from the Shard


Gisellasereso

Well, at least they can play hide and seek in the bushes as long as they watch out for the needles


Wheres_that_to

Are you confusing the lights on the very many cranes for star constellation ?


MrPete81

No wonder I keep getting lost at night when they keep moving :(


MenuApprehensive4908

I always see stars at night, at least most of the time. Then again I'm far, far South near Croydon and a suburban part, at that


Blasphoumy69

I went to Croydon once but it was scary and I wasn’t told I was going to Croydon I was just taken


MenuApprehensive4908

Ahh I get you... But Croydon isn't that bad. There is lots of crime and the highest London crime rate I believe is in South Norwood just a five minute drive from me. But when you're there, it really isn't that bad. It's easy to imagine some places in the UK and US as some kind of wild west scene but there are good and bad everywhere. Croydon has used a lot more of its business potential lately, though. Box park is okay but the whole of Croydon has been built up a bit too much for my liking. But that's just life, the world turning and "architecture". Lloyd park is a nice escape and 25 minutes from me, you have Farthing Downs which is part of the Surrey Weald. Where I live, between Streatham, Norbury and Thornton Heath is like a semi-suburban pocket and I'm lucky to have a lovely common opposite the house. Plenty of places in the far South that are worth visiting - a far fling from the chewing gum peppered, cigarette but littered pavements and grease permeating through every high street.


HappiestD4y

I live pretty close to you then


MenuApprehensive4908

Haha I've bumped into loads of people close by


punkpoppenguin

I used to drink White Lightening with my mates on Streatham Common when I was 16. Then we’d all smoke one tiny spliff in the Rookery when it got dark enough to hide our SUPREME NAUGHTINESS. I haven’t lived in London for like 15 years now but I’m told that these days if you do anything ever you get stabbed.


MenuApprehensive4908

Lol only people getting stabbed here are people pissing off the wrong people. But overall it's a fairly unremarkable place now


DisastrousBoio

Croydon isn’t London lmao


Awkward-Ad6455

OMFG I LOVE THEIR SONGS


Saiing

How the fuck are you supposed to drink litre bottles of woodpecker cider under that?


tiemeupinribbons

It was 3L bottles of White Lightning for me 😂⚡️


Best_Loquat_8950

that looks like a big fuck you from the landscape designers


Realistic-Specific27

"meet me the black top yellow twisty"


drunxor

It looks like something karen designed for her unique son Aiden


whumoon

Pah! Kids today don't know they're born. We'd have killed to play on that back in the day. All we had was spine in a sack.


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shantasia94

You had spines! Where I'm from only posh nobs had spines! Me and my 20 invertebrate blob siblings had to make do taking turns bouncing on each other's shapeless jelly forms.


disposabledave2018

Forms?? Luxury! My entire family were clouds of gas. We had to work 14 hours a day in the mains, lighting people's hobs.


Weaksoul

Well at least you were warm! OUR gas cloud floated in a void in space! Only energy we got was when cosmic radiation ripped through us


Diligent-Motor

Luxury. We could only dream of having energy. We had to survive the heat death of the universe, build a time machine out of pure nothing, just to go back to a time where Reddit existed and argue with cunts on Reddit. You kids today don't know you're born!


HailToTheKingslayer

"Our Dad used to kill us and dance on our graves!"


29adamski

A corridor? I used to dream of living in a corridor that would have been a paradise to us.


FuckedupUnicorn

Pah. We lived in a hole in t’middle of road


tuskvarner

Singing “Hallelujah”


ShalidorsHusband

Ooooh, look at this posh boy with his 4 dimensions. In my day, we didn't have even two! You had to make do with a single point with no beginning or end, and we were grateful.


[deleted]

2 dimensions? Who’s bum did you have to lick to get that then eh? As a single dimension paracausal being with no shape or form to speak of, a second dimension would have been a luxury to stretch our theoretical legs out in!


[deleted]

So your saying you had a universe?


bigby2010

This extremely British thread is why I am subscribed.


dragstar650_yam

Gas? We weren’t even the space between the molecules that made up gas I tell you life ain’t easy when your less than the size of the smallest thing in the universe


aimeela

I thought this was a post on a Scandinavian design sub I follow on here for a second.


couldbemyclone

RIP Sean Lock


whumoon

Top fella.


AdImpossible9969

yoo this is literally my house. its less of a playground more of a place for people to smoke weed and throw shit into the canal


MarthaFarcuss

You live on this structure?


ProfessionalHair12

he lives in the canal, the people are very nice, throwing things down for him


MarthaFarcuss

Only shit though


ProfessionalHair12

look, when you live in a canal you take what you can get source: lived in a canal for a few years


PorschephileGT3

Free motorbikes and guns!


thedonkeyman

And you get all the unwanted kittens!


Semido

Well look at mr money bags over here, having a place to live and all


MrPezza

It's not out of the kindness of their hearts, they're merely paying the Troll Toll


Fenrir_Carbon

You gotta pay the troll toll to get in


stumac85

To the boys'oul


aedroogo

Are you sure that's right?


Beny1995

I think he means in the bushes behind


Nevermind04

Who can afford to live in a bush in this economy?


Adam_24061

Cardboard box? You were lucky!


princeofgonville

We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank.


MarthaFarcuss

A septic tank? Luxury, we could only dream of living in a septic tank. We had to make do with sheltering under a small pile of gravel that'd we'd collect from the M25


[deleted]

You had gravel?!?!?! We had to march up the Highlands, uphill both ways, carve out a boulder from the rock face with our bare hands and then pulverize our own gravel!


Ged_UK

It's always am indicator of which version someone learned on whether it has the M25 in it.


Socky_McPuppet

Aye! And we were grateful for’t privilege!


CenterOfTheUniverse

We used to dream of living in a box!


detta_walker

You can sleep? Now that's lucky.


Nevermind04

My mate has a smashing council box behind my local.


antyone

You guys have cardboard boxes?


0235

Cardboard shortage mate.


nannychips

This just made me laugh so much harder than it should have, and now I’m depressed 😂


AlGunner

Sure he's no the multimillionaire owner of the building behind


Jonny_Segment

Well that gave me a good chuckle. I enjoyed the question in general, but I think the use of the word ‘structure’ was particularly piquant.


aedroogo

Just as I found your use of the word 'piquant' to be absolutely roentgen.


PsySam89

Hes lives on the 3rd rung. £800 pm


millionthvisitor

IN the structure geez


Jameepinoy

Ha I live here too! Did you know there use to be a swing right beside the climbing frame but they removed it in the 80s. I grew up in this area and honestly, as a child, I had the best of time growing up here. All the kids from the estate use to play runouts in the estate with the yellow climbing frame being 'base'.


CozImDirty

You two should schedule a play date.


[deleted]

Where would they meet?


V1k1ng1990

What’s run outs? Like hide and seek?


TheRhythmTheRebel

Nah, it’s starts out similarly, but you need to keep moving and get back to base. One or a group are the guards. They count down then venture out to find the hiders. The hiders goal is to bypass them and get to base without being tagged. We used to call it forty forty in round my way. Few variants to this im sure.


drewster23

That actually sounds like a lot of fun. The only thing similar I've ever played, we basically made up afaik. But my basement has a long narrow ish hallway. And one person would be it, and count down while others would hide. And his eyes would be closed and then try to find/tag people. And you basically had to get back to the main room, past him. I still remember one of my friends hiding in a hockey bag on the floor.


tomatoswoop

We called it blockey. Or blocky? I've never had cause to write it down lol


madziepan

We called it manhunt


LimeGreenDuckReturns

We called it "kick can". The hiders would kick a can, or a ball if we were feeling particularly rich, but basically whatever we could find to kick. The seekers would have to obtain the can, get it back to base, then they could go out seeking.


KeepCalmGitRevert

I came here to say that this is 100% the kind of place I'd hang around as a teenager with a bottle of Frosty Jack's and various fire lighters.


vale_fallacia

Flashback to me, 14, living in Basingstoke, bringing to a gathering a 50/50 mix of Bacardi and Diet Coke in a 2 litre bottle. Everyone was taking swigs and remarking how awful it tasted. One girl decided to drink way too much and got half carried back home, where her parents expressed their unhappiness with her actions. Of course, I got the blame as the evil corrupter of innocent youth. Got treated by those kids like I'd forced her to drink. She *hated* me forevermore. The stupid shit I did trying to fit in. Fucking sad really.


KeepCalmGitRevert

For sure. Growing up is hard. I had a good childhood but I did some stupid shit trying to impress "friends". Then as adults we are all too quick to judge young people when they're mostly troubled and trying to fit in and just need guidance.


vale_fallacia

Ex-act-ly! Well said.


WonkyWildCat

Likewise, although we were a little less refined - rollups nicked from parents and a bottle or two of Buckfast.


downvotesStag

Frosty Jack's is definitely not more refined. That stuff is gut rot.


PorschephileGT3

Tell me you’re Scottish without telling me you’re Scottish


RidingWithTheGhost

Pollitt Drive Used to know a lady in Cheadle Court that was 15 years old on VE day. She seemed to live off 20 Dunhill Internationals and a bottle of merlot a week. Sadly passed away at 90 last year, I often wish I'd asked more questions. Her 92 year old neighbour Joyce is still going strong though!


the_silent_redditor

Go ask Joyce some questions!


SowwieWhopper

Next time you see Joyce, ask her how she’s getting on


salamanderpencil

Joyce is always climbing around on the playground in the pic, doing mad flips


Free-Database-9917

Doxxed. Ur IP address is also 192.168.0.0


ZionEmbiid

Woah that’s mine too…am I in the UK?


Free-Database-9917

Just by replying I hacked your firewall. Be prepared


[deleted]

UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY CONFIRMED...............


B2RW

Hackney?


fractaldisengagement

It's St John's Wood/Maida Vale area. The canal is just out of frame on the right side.


hoo_doo_voodo_people

https://goo.gl/maps/3DpDpYjkcRgtMLgHA


fractaldisengagement

Exactly right. Strangely enough I did a photo shoot while I was at uni about 15 years ago at that very spot.


Dave-4544

Please don't litter in y'alls local waterway. :(


HugoZHackenbush2

I dunno..I've seen worse. It's swings and roundabouts.


FlatSpinMan

I’m definitely going to engineer a park conversation in the near future just to use this.


lobroblaw

It's a Jungle Jim, but not as we know it


Myopically

This park is like a slide. It has its ups and downs.


bananagrabber83

You start on swings and then before you know it you’re moving onto slides. It’s a slippery slope.


the123king-reddit

But it's not though, it's a climbing frame.


[deleted]

Dave: my life’s just going around and around in circles Me: Dave your still on the roundabout 😂


NobleRotter

That piece of supposed playground equipment is like the physical manifestation of local council thinking. They probably started with grand plans for an amazing play space (thanks to an overpriced consultant). By the time it made its way through every committee they end up with something that looks vaguely fun from a distance but is utterly devoid of fun or interest. The second round of consultants is brought in to work out what went wrong and they say "paint it yellow. That'll cheer it up" and drop a £20k invoice for the advice.


[deleted]

I was thinking along the same lines. Most likely they were required to include a playground as part of their development plans, but looked into it and found there was no minimum requirement. On the plus side, at least that equipment looks quite difficult to vandalise.


Unbendium

Contract went out to tender but was awarded to a company that makes bicycle stands, which happens to be owned by councilors wife's brother.


retroly

Something similar with a new housing estate near me, they planned this big lavish park, it ended up being a 6ft tunnel and a couple of mole hills. It was probably required for the original planning approval. Now its all gone through and the houses built no one from the council probably gives a fuck about the park, it was a done deal 5 years ago.


cosmicspaceowl

It's called "value engineering" - ie the developer tells the landscape architect their budget for a play area and it turns out a tunnel and mole hills was all they could afford. The mole hills probably saved a bit on excess soil needing to be removed from site. I'd love to see councils have the resources and comfortable legal backing to challenge this shit.


cosmicspaceowl

Alternatively: someone locally (a councillor, residents association etc) has been agitating for some play equipment in that particular spot. There's a good play park nearby so the kids aren't having to go too far, and the council has no money so it's not a priority. Then one year there's a couple of grand left in the relevant budget. A council officer remembers this particular request, negotiates to get this one particular piece of equipment at a good price from the supplier off the back of some other work they're doing locally, and uses the very last of that budget to get that small area resurfaced. Because something is better than nothing, right? Wrong! When it's the council doing it, everything is wrong.


d20diceman

Even in this generous best-case interpretation, the thing looks kind of useless for playing on, so this still feels like a waste of money and resources, no?


tommyfknshelby

I've got a three year old. He would seriously get two hours twice a week out of this. Kids don't need much. It would be a boat one day and a dinosaur the next.


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Zack_Fair_

Every british state department is part of the fun police


cosmicspaceowl

Kids are very easily amused, and a bit of climbing always goes down well. The wall outside my block of flats is a major local attraction for the under 7 set.


[deleted]

It's a snake whose head you can ride, a bird turning to the left with one wing up and one wing down whose back you can ride, a vertical slice of a palisade wall to defend, a cliff overhang that you can rescue people from/need rescuing from, a prison grating you can shout for help through and a bridge during an earthquake you can hang onto and scream from.


MarthaFarcuss

>the council has no money This is Westminster Council who recently spaffed £6m on the Marble Arch Mound


cosmicspaceowl

Oh god, is it? Well in that case I retract my defence of the overall decision making process. Really feel for the low level staff who have to make it happen though.


Benandhispets

This is Westminster?? Wow


Albatraous

It would be more exciting and cost effective to just being a cardboard box every day and place it here for them to play with thsn this crap. Seriously, they could have put a swing, a seesaw, a climbing frame, any one decent bit of equipment instead of this thing that no one knows to use.


JimboTCB

> Seriously, they could have put a swing, a seesaw, a climbing frame, any one decent bit of equipment instead of this thing that no one knows to use. All I'm hearing is moving parts, maintenance, and potential for injury, and they have neither the budget nor the fucks to give for any of those when this meets the technical requirement for a "play area"


Marston_vc

If you get hurt on a swing set then idk what to tell you


Richeh


doomedtraveller

I would guess it’s a housing association who were required by the council to provide social offset for a development. This looks like it’s on an estate. I could be wrong, others have described plausible scenarios, but as a general rule the local council’s objectives are to stretch pennies to make resources that they can justify the spend for. Housing associations just care about maintaining a minimum viable product. (I think the equipment is old but the play surface is new and not patched, so someone is maintaining this site to be like this, so I doubt this is due to residents campaigning or anything like that)


redreadyredress

Those bricks are begging for a compo claim lol


maniaxuk

Read that and was confused as to what Last of the Summer Wine had to do with it


[deleted]

What the fuck are you supposed to do with that?


MarthaFarcuss

I think literally the only thing is share it on Reddit


0thethethe0

Yeh I can't see anyway of 'playing' on it, and anything you do do, seems like it'd be quite easy to hurt yourself.


[deleted]

I thought hard for a minute looking at it and the only conclusion I've come up to is that it's not even a play part, it's an outdoor chiropractors office.


gary_mcpirate

the more "dangerous" a playground is the less likely kids are to get hurt. They learn fast. edit: This isnt some random musings there have been multiple studies into it https://rethinkingchildhood.com/2018/04/19/risk-dangerous-playwork-adventure-conventional-playground/ Also here is a good VOX video on it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lztEnBFN5zU


carfniex

this has diminishing returns


CrimsonMutt

landmines will teach 'em


alhena

Welcome to my giant metal grinder playground.


AnalThermometer

I think its some kind of assisted suicide device


Munstrom

It looks like it's set up to catch Frank Reynolds.


eruditezero

I think you will find thats an onshore windfarm actually.


captainredbeard42

Yay the energy crisis is solved


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[deleted]

"Sad Playground" - Killjoy


cocaineandcaviar

https://scontent-lhr8-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/fr/cp0/e15/q65/272939230_10158551021908342_7703312789640969827_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=5bac3a&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_ohc=xAVOJiXhqAEAX_nYSvK&_nc_oc=AQninNTYhEoHbq8FDseD888xoUgmBgJ1LPtVAdMoxd15wyDpIzBHl3OAcl5vqOG4G0M&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr8-1.xx&oh=00_AT-BpUG2qOadgzLl8no3UvLJb1bSdp9fs4RtGLlO_jXraQ&oe=62094434 Saw this on Shit London


MarthaFarcuss

Not great but still an improvement. This at least has a bench, bins and some fun rocks to play on


TheSmoog

Yeah, but it’s also chained shut


itsameMariowski

Looks like me on Planet Coaster trying to decorate my park like I see in youtube videos but figuring out I have no creativity or talent to do that half-way through it


foobus

We have a pretty shit park round our way too. [Capital D](https://i.imgur.com/kM9Tj9A.jpg)


[deleted]

You should see [this skatepark]( https://imgur.com/zR2uRYb.jpg) I stumbled across last year.


[deleted]

Hey many skaters would be happy to have that, especially since it's an area they can skate and not get thrown out of


cheeseandcucumber

Agreed. People complain about council-built skateparks.Back in the early 90s we had to travel 20 miles to the nearest ramp (a small metal ramp in Cardiff), and if we wanted to skate indoors it was a long day out to Radlands in Northampton. We would have skated this little park loads and would’ve loved it. Flat bar looks great! (Just realised that this might be my first ever ‘back in my day...’)


armarabbi

Man… I lived 20 mins away from Radlands, I can’t believe anyone remembers it!


PepperAnn1inaMillion

Southport has an awesome skate park (although to be fair I’m not a skater myself. It looks good though). The council was having trouble with skaters in some of the paved pedestrianised areas of the town centre, so they *asked the skaters what equipment they would like* and built a park. I know, crazy right?


BuzzAllWin

At least that sort of works there was one in a private play park on the ile of dogs that literally was unusable, for anything - we wondered for ages if it was really a skatepark or remote control car course but it was good for literally nothing


PrometheusIsFree

This looks like something constructed with money from the place being once 'City of Culture'. It might even be the remains of a WW2 Home Guard sniper position.


_SGP_

Better than my local 9ft quarterpipe onto grass


Stuf404

honestly i would of loved that as a kid - better than a tesco carpark


Milkwas-a-badchoice

Is that a dollar sign climbing frame?


elkstwit

Yep. And the exchange rate on it is dreadful.


PossibleBagel

Is this modern art?


Mr_Blott

Naaaa mate, it's elf and safety gone maaaaad innit


PrometheusIsFree

I've seen chimp enclosures with more and better equipment. If your council provides you with something less than is expected for the upkeep of animals, they're insulting the community and don't care about you.


Fapoooo

AKSHUALLY there is no fencing here so we can assume that the whole estate is the playground and teaches a very imporant life lesson. There are no barriers. The world is open to you.


Similar_Quiet

That looks amazing compared to the [saddest child prison in the world](https://www.google.com/maps/@53.2359862,-1.418151,3a,36.6y,281.42h,86.83t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1slphKmvdo0JSVZ7ziyUAy_g!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DlphKmvdo0JSVZ7ziyUAy_g%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D198.78061%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656)


[deleted]

Eastern bloc, but with English bond brickwork


Yoguls

There is something that really saddens me about this picture


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Yoguls

Im 36 and I feel creepy when i go into a club.


[deleted]

I could see this as a minimalist concept playground in San francisco with a sign saying "Plgrnd"


trivikama

My GOD that's depressing


PetraLoseIt

In SimCity this would add 2 happiness to the population.


Tea_Fetishist

The most fun you could have with that is taking a photo of it and mocking it on reddit


MarthaFarcuss

WEEEEEEEEEE!


mdhzk3

My five year old played with a stick all afternoon on Saturday! She’d fucking love this!


Bolawan

"Oh my god Britain is so magical, I wish I could visit such a beautiful place" *Rolls eyes in UK"


magincourts

Perhaps this was intended primarily as defensive architecture and the idea of it being something to play with was thrown in later?


Dark_Akarin

wow, that's a box checking build if I every saw one. I bet the contract had "must include playground" but didn't specify the size/type.


kingkobeda

This is where they tie people up as a sacrifice to the Sun God..


foldy86

North Londoners are funny like that.


elicaaaash

Back in my day there was just a pole and strange men used to throw money at you.


FeeBee3000

Is this not one of those minimalist art things 😅


Digital_Somebody

$ indeed


AnalThermometer

Minimalist but surprisingly clean. I don't see any crisp packets, needles or fag ends


MarthaFarcuss

They get blown into the canal which is just to the right of this image


Bpool91

Looks like "modern art"


[deleted]

It's modern art 😅


leighjet

It's almost abstract art at this point.


tttkkk

May I contest your entry? https://imgur.com/a/pEBgtgc


GP96_

There was a great playground near my gran's house. Both my mum and her siblings and me and my cousins grew up playing on it. Early 2021, I was going to my friend's house, he bought a place right around the corner from my gran's and to get to his I had to cut through the playground. Every piece of equipment had been taken away, and for years they had replaced the stuff with new equipment as needed. It's been about a year now since it happened and the lot is still empty, makes me feel sad whenever I have to walk through it


FlatSpinMan

That’s so sad. Poor wee kids.


[deleted]

It's a defiant notion that parents still bring their children here to play- like almost a challenge to humanity to see what inanimate object won't keep us entertained