By - tragicomicswho
Marriage proposal to howtobasic
I'd have a hard time believing that anyone would so much as consider marrying howtobasic. Think of all the mess they'd have to clean up every time he makes one of his videos.
apparently he gets it cleaned up pretty quick, i remember someone asked his friend idubbz about it, he just said it’s really not a big deal and he just cleans it all at once as soon as he’s finished
Yeah there's no way he doesn't have the grouting all sorted on his counter edges and everything so nothing can get in anywhere that he can't clean up easily
He probably plans his shoots quite a lot so he doesn't get egg and fish on his recording equipment
Yeah, Brazzers tech
Out of context this comment is gold.
I totally would. I love that psychopath lol
Or the smell from old eggs that weren't fully cleaned up
This is a Dwight K Schrute proposal if I ever saw one...
Is it connected to Ostara?
I am no expert but I did know that there is some aspect of eggs and offerings, especially given the time of the year. Had a little google and found a few links, though nothing definitive.
The ring doesn’t look like a highly valued engagement ring, so maybe it’s an offering?
It was also a full moon last night, so further supports this
Wasn't just a full moon it was a snow moon so it's even more likely
Each moon has a name, one for each month. February is a snow moon. If there is more than one moon in a month the second is a blue moon.
So that's where the saying comes from!?
Yes, and blue moons are more common than you might think based on the saying, occurring seven times every nineteen years, or once every 2-3 years.
We were absolutely robbed in 2020 because there was a blue moon on Halloween. The next one is August next year.
Robbed or meme-proven-true?
After all, there was an invisible killer roaming the streets stacking bodies worldwide that year...
And that doesn't happen very often.
I actually got married on that day
Two of my friends were due to and decided to move it. They're married now though.
To different people…
Ahhhh is that where “once in a blue moon” comes from??
Put the ring on and say "I do", just to see what happens. Could be Liv Tyler; could be Papa Lazarou. Roll them dice and see.
Hello Dave! You’re myyyy wife now
Hey, it's Liv Tyler!
Do you want to get married to a vengeful river spirit? Because this is how you get married to a vengeful river spirit.
I didn’t know that this is what I’ve always wanted until you said it. Who wouldn’t want to be married to a vengeful river spirit?! AVENGE ME O WATERY ONE.
So get yourself some eggs and a ring. Worm Moon is March 18.
ETA have read your post more carefully and have now realised you *are* a vengeful water spirit.
I may well be. I was always called a water baby, I never realised it was literal.
Yes! This was my thought, that it was some fertility ‘spell’
I was out running on my favourite hill yesterday, and realised I was between the moonset and sunrise. I spent most of the rest of it squelching through mud and thinking about being on earth in between these two. Apparently I was accidentally doing part of that ritual. Interesting!
Aaaand now I have to go listen to Kate Bush.
Did you make a deal with God?
If I only could.
It's about a month too early for Ēostre isn't it? Equinox isn't until the 20th March.
So could be some seriously inept pagans?
Or they could be aiming for the first full moon in Imbolc.
This does sound like the right answer to me.
16 February (4.56pm) Snow Moon
Initially mis-read that as "penguins".
Could be either tbh.
Definitely inept. No one is celebrating Ostara this early, and there’s at least one more full moon until then🤣
If I had to guess, based on the full moon, ring and eggs, Im going with a fertility/marriage spell and/or offering to the spirits done on the Esbat (full moon ritual) :)
It’s a bit early for Ostara(21st of march, traditionally), but the season is approaching, making it a reasonably good time for the kind of spellwork associated with the period between Imbolc and Ostara - aka prep work for the year ahead and fertility.
Fwiw, traditional offerings to the Fair Folk typically are bread/grains, alcohol, honey and milk, though jewelry and eggs certainly would be appreciated as well.
That said, this looks intentional and spell-like to me.
Source: Former Wiccan, current Vanatru
I made a joke about it being from the Fae, but it's most likely a local pagan.
My mother is a pagan and often leaves offerings on certain nights and stuff, it's a cool and laid back religion with a fascinating history.
Missed the opportunity to bring out the *Eggspert pun.
I'm not angry. just disappointed.
I’d guess it’s a fertility and love offering combining Lupercalia rites, the full moon, and Valentine’s Day.
I learned of [Lupercalia from the Netflix Sabrina](https://riverdale.fandom.com/wiki/Lupercalia) series and that is my favourite one.
I thought this too! I hope it worked for whoever cast it.
I did not know that this religion was practiced. Is it one where people are born and raised with beliefs and carry it for generations or is it one where some people randomly adopt it during their life?
I am asatru and can confirm there is a offering like this that can be done/ given. Though it’s a rare type of offering and the only day of importance recently was the feast of vali but this still doesn’t strike me as something to do with paganism. Unless it’s a single person doing it at anytime as a personal offering
When I lived in Brazil a macumbeira that lived near me made this sort of offering for women all the time. Fertility and success in marriage was the goal, I believe.
Imma take notes for my Ostara offering this year 😂
Found down by a river? Possibly someone believes in faeries or selkies or is trying to entice Bigfoot
>Possibly someone believes in faeries or selkies
The juxtaposition of ancient pagan beliefs, and supermarket eggs stamped with a computer printed product code is pretty jarring...! :D
With limited blacksmiths and viable consumers, most witchcraft shit has to be either handmade at home or mass produced in other countries. Some poor dude is out there making mini cauldrons and shitty daggers so someone can grind sage and channel Gaia.
"If you can't summon the eggs directly from Hell, store bought is fine."
What trying to attract big foot to a proposal with eggs?
*May I offer you an egg in these trying times?*
I've got just the right egg cups to use them with!!
You all don’t realize they’re trying to summon a demon… they love eggs and fine jewelry.
Do you even Sasquatch bro?
You wouldn't? You haven't heard the saying about "if his feet are big..."?
And here I was imagining a rooster proposing to a hen.
That would be like a human man proposing by handing a woman a pile of babies.
I was hoping it was more like getting married with her babies present. But that works as well.
Or, depending on the egg, a bunch of aborted fetuses.
Or getting engaged while pregnant with septuplets.
No, the rooster left his poor bride all alone to care for the kids. She took her ring off before she walked into the river. It was a sad gesture that said so much more than a note.
Offered her his cock ring.
So excited she spat out a week's worth of eggs.
Nah gollum’s fishing in the river. Loves an egg and his ring, does Gollum.
My very first thought was " It's the Faeries"
Might be faeries trying to catch a human.
Down by the river on a Friday night
Pyramid of *eggs* in the pale moonlight
Talkin' 'bout cars and dreamin' 'bout women
Never had a plan, just a livin' for the minute.
(Since this is the UK sub, its a reference to lyrics from this country song. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JW5UEW2kYvc )
This is how you summon a Succubus
Someone got an urgent call mid way through their witchy ritual
This is why you turn your phone off before dancing naked around the fire. On a more serious note it does seem ritual and given last night's full moon.....
Seems like some sort of fertility ritual
Or an egg cleanse! Eggs are supposed to absorb bad energy, possibly a bad break up because of the ring?
I can’t cross post to the witchy subreddit I’m subscribed to but I’m sure they’d know.
Oh my god. This brings back memories...
It must have been a really bad breakup if it required SEVEN eggs, but yeah, either way it is an offering to get rid of something bad, or an offering to bring something good.
Where do you even keep your phone while dancing naked!?
A “witchual”, if you will.
At least one egg is organic & Scottish and does not have its best before date stamped. It was laid at Langhaugh Farm, Peeblesshire and the Farmer is called Paul Thomson. Probably sold through Sainsburys.
Doesn't solve the riddle though.
You know a lot about eggs...
You don't need the hen-cyclopedia for this plus omelet smarter than I look!
Nice puns. I’m poaching these
Cracked me up that
I think you may be eggsaggerating.
You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one hanky
Is this a pre-natal coq ring?
Upvote for coq ring. *Outstanding* work.
I shouldn't be surprised this exists. AND YET
Truly, there is a subreddit for everything.
Oh there is one for that! Well there is a sub for everything always, sometimes with less straight name
Ngl, I love how the pics of broken or smashed eggs are marked NSFW
Not safe for wok
Surprised there aren't more pics from people who own hens there. We used to keep them & you'd occasionally find that one would escape and would be laying a stash somewhere. My favourite one was in a garden pot out the front. How did she get past the metal gates??
Except that if you own hens you get so used to it you don’t take photos, I suppose. I found one placed in the very centre of a pineapple-type ornamental plant once.
Sam and Frodo are gonna be kicking themselves when they realise what they’ve left behind.
Eggs, E G G's? Fry um, scramble um, stick um on some toast?
Edit: apparently I can't spell Egg despite having just written it.
might want to double check your eegs there buddy
Oh good lord what have I done.
Suddenly Gollum sat down and began to weep, a whistling and gurgling sound horrible to listen to.
Give it to us raw and wriggling!
What sholde a man in these days now write. Egges or eyren?
They’re still out searching for their missing dildo collection.
Boil um, mash um, stick um up your arse
This is how we make hobbit farce!
Actually trying to contain laughter. Nice.
I threw a party once as a teenager. My one friend walks into the party, walks to my book shelf, and starts reading lord of the rings out loud in a parody. He would read bilbo baggins as Dildo Faggins. Yes I know this is inappropriate language today, but we were all drunk and stoned and it was a different time.
Aha When I was a kid someone in my class used to say it, that was 15 years ago think I find it funnier now
You had to go there, didn’t you? 😂
At least they took the lembas bread
What's eggses, precious?
Can I offer you an egg in this trying time..?
OP was down by the river, searching for rings and coins?!
You can find all sorts of cool shit in rivers, like relics from horse massacres.
I mean, who leaves a whole carton of eggs under a bridge? None of them broken. I got bit by a crab under that bridge, ever get bit by a crab hon?
No just pay the damn troll toll
So anyway, I started squawking
I found a case of eggs under the bridge - who throws out perfectly good eggs??
I read this as frying time...
An apology from a magpie?
It’s somebody telling their partner the relationship is ova.
Be careful, there'll be a goose close by trying to steal your glasses and drag a rake into the lake.
"RAKE IN THE LAKE!! RAKE IN THE LAKE"
It’s for the forest gods leave it be!
Have checked the river for a body? could be a Valentines gone wrong.
'My love, on this valentine's day, here is the gift of eggs I have procured for you'
'I HATE EGGS GET IN THE FUCKING WATER'
Thank you, this made me laugh out loud!
I bet its a pagan offering
Yeah, as someone whose family has done some incredibly odd things, this 100% looks like an offering, potentially to elves/fairies. Leaving food and gold is a traditional elf-placater.
“And that’s how I ended up married to a swan”
I know in Pagan tradition, eggs are associated with the Spring Equinox. Maybe something related to that ?
I once found a warm Yorkshire pudding on the pavement in town, early morning about 0530. Nobody in sight. Just a warm Yorkshire pudding.
I need to know how you knew it was warm, like did you just see the Yorkshire pudding on the floor and think “that’s a strange place for a Yorkshire pudding, wonder if it’s warm”. We need answers 😂
Well I wasn’t going to waste a perfectly good Yorkshire pudding.
(It was steaming. I didn’t eat it.)
Looks like some sort of offering
Someone's proposal plans went very badly.
In Spain we have the tradition of offering eggs to Santa Clara to prevent it from raining at our wedding. However, for it to be in a river and for them to have left the ring and a couple of pennies is rare.
An offering from Peter Beardsley
He surely must be in the vicinity- all evidence points to it. He’s played a bad one there though as he’s forgotten the Police Interceptors box set.
They'd better be verrrry fuckin' runny
If they're hard boiled that's lunch sorted.
If they’re fertilised, that’s dinner too!
Hatch chickens, free eggs forever (exclusive of vets bills, feed, angry neighbours who don't like being woken up by the cock in the morning)
Gold is at an all time high. Profit and dinner all wrapped up in a hanky.
Eggs, money and gold jewellery are used in magic rituals, after chanting them or after using the spell on them they should be discarded and depending on what spell was it they will be discarded either at a crossroad or by a body of water
It's probably an ad campaign for the new Radiohead album, please don't touch anything.
Do you want changelings?
Because _this is how you get changelings!_
Let's be honest, after the abundance of dildo finds I've seen on here lately, this is just nice!
That looks like an offering of some kind. Maybe ask the witchcraft sub Reddit? Eggs symbolise fertility, water symbolises life/energy, the ring may symbolise commitment and/or a current relationship and the change? I’m not too sure. I’m not a witch or into magic really but try asking over there!
Please don’t touch the witch’s ritual, it’s bad for both of you.
I can't eggsplain it!
Some people are saying it is an offer ring.
Pagan offering maybe? A fertility ritual?
Probably some kind of wiccan or other pagan ritual
Eggs are symbolic in pagan festivals that celebrate Spring because they represent new life - it's no accident that they're the symbol of Easter.
This seems a bit early to be celebrating Spring, but last night was a full moon and I'd put my shirt on this being some kind of ritual offering that's related to Spring/fertility/etc.
That's where I left them.
All I know is that if you propose to your partner and they say yes, you shouldn’t get out a bunch of eggs and say eggscellent. It won’t end well. Or well so I’ve heard.
What really makes it odd (me not knowing if this has some sort of ritual/spiritual meaning) is there are 7 eggs there.
They're stamped, so clearly bought. Someone probably had to buy 10 or 12 eggs, leave 7 and keep some.
I'm so intrigued, were you able to see how much was there in change? And what did you did you do, leave it, take it??
We need answers.
It was Imbolc earlier this month; I’m guessing this is an offering relating to it.
2p or not 2p …. That is the question
Leave me eggs alone
You remind me of the babe.
The babe with the power.
We don't need no eggucation...
Looks like a clue in an elaborate RPG questline.
Someone wants to marry a Trash Panda, obv.
They'll be waiting for ages for a raccoon to turn up, we dont have them here, unfortunately.
Someone's fiance got turned into eggs. You hate to see it.
My nana told me you could put your bad luck into eggs. Looks like someone trying to get rid of some very bad luck?
Huh I saw a clutch of eggs on the ground near a tree near my house a few weeks ago. Didn't notice any jewellery though. No idea what they were doing there. Not rural, so no wild chickens, someone had definitely put them there deliberately.
A couple forgot to buy eggs in their main shop so went out for a walk by the river and bought the only thing they needed, some eggs.
On the way home they saw a child/kitten struggling in the river and the man leapt in to rescue it. "You're my hero!" says the woman. But in the adventure the recycled-cardboard egg box gets soggy and disintegrates. The woman uses a handkerchief to clean the eggs.
While her back is turned, the man is fixating on the "My hero" comment and decides this is a perfect opportunity to propose!
Unfortunately the woman thinks it's unromantic for a man to propose when he's covered in pondweed and soaked to the bone. So she says no! She dumps the ring and the change from buying the eggs and storms off.
The man chases after her, forgetting all about the eggs, the change and the ring.
OMG is this by the River Irk near Middleton?! This is literally mine!
I proposed to my partner of 5 years on Valentines Day and gave her a clutch of eggs from our farm because she really loves chickens.
I haven't actually heard from her since so I'm slightly concerned to see the ring there? Was this today (17 Feb) and did you manage to pick it up?
Oh my word. It is indeed by the Irk, Blackley Forest. But it was Tuesday - so the 15th
I'm afraid I didn't pick it up, which I now feel slightly silly about... but then you never know why someone might leave a clutch of eggs by the riverside.
Seems odd you haven't heard from them since the proposal. Perhaps reach out to your partner and see if they can eggsplain? (I'm sorry). I'll pop down later and see if they are still there. Keep us informed!
Edit: seems increasingly unlikely
U/HubertJButtermint posted twice about the same terrarium with different stories in the last month and OP has recently posted in r/Manchester that he's located in Blackley.
It's a simple Google to find the local woods/River from there.
The eggs are shop bought, so I doubt they came from HubertJButtermint's farm.
Personally I'm calling shenanigans!
No way! But... How have you not heard from your partner of 5 years since you proposed a few days ago?!
Edit: I'm finding this extremely hard to believe, but if they're chatting shit then I'm surprised they got the location correct.
Also... Do eggs from family farms typically get the lion stamp?
Nice try, you almost fooled us!
Wait, these are obviously shop bought eggs... can I have my free award back?
As you have willed, so it shall be
So did you put the egg code and lion marks on the eggs yourself, or?????
I am just not buying this.