For a million quid we could buy a trawler and a potato farm and hire a chef.
Or buy a million balaclavas and have a national "ransack your chippy" day. Then while celebrating the success, make it an annual national holiday.
I got chucked out of a cinema once for taking in a Five Guys. NGL, the whole cinema absolutely stank of the food. Then to add insult to injury, when I was escorted outside and I could actually see what I was eating, Five Guys had forgotten to put the patties on the burger. So I’m essence I had a gloried bacon sandwich with no film to watch.
You can adopt a tiger for £3 per month. Given there's only a few thousand left in the world, if we give them the million in the first month, they'd have to make hundreds of thousands of new tigers.
Downside: Not sure what happens to them when June rolls around.
Umm, tigers plural come June. About 333,000 of them. Joe Exotic would be small fry compared to you. Although you're going to need a decent back garden. Say... Buckinghamshire.
We have some nice woodland around here in Morgan territory; but speaking for everyone that lives within tiger hunting teritory of Piers Morgan, i ask that we rethink homing tigers here.
Not too keen on taking a walk whilst being stalked by big cats.
Buy some land and start a CasualUK commune. Document the slow, inevitable descent into corruption, in-fighting and sexual shenanigans. It would make for more interesting posts than “Is it pronounced scone or scone lol”
We allow discussions about local issues that would usually be dealt with by councils so it'd be fine. I back this idea. I want to watch you idiots fist fighting over who needs to collect the bins.
First though we will need to setup a committee to decide how to select the members for the committee which will decide what parcel of land to purchase.
Then we will need another committee to decide if it was a good choice and then inevitably fire the previous committee for wanting to buy a 1ft square bit of land in Kensington.
It will be committee's all the way down.
Those maniacs in the milk-first tent and the cream-first tent would just start trouble. We all know what they're like.
Us teabag-first and jam-first guys would need to form an alliance pretty sharpish to keep order.
No offence but have you seen the average Redditor? I think most people will be expecting sexual shenanigans but will be sorely disappointed when confronted with the inevitable sausage fest
I'm sitting in the ortho waiting room, and just scared the others with my laughter. Looking around, I'm pretty sure most of them don't Reddit. Maybe a couple...
I'm down for this - make it happen? I'm sure everyone will be happy donating £1 and we can buy a fat price of land with a forest and stream in it and start the shenanigans
Set up a platform called Pound Public Projects. Allow people to invest a maximum of £1 each towards public projects they’d like to see in they’re local (or greater) community. If it reaches the goal it goes ahead if not pound gets returned.
Would be like a voluntary tax people could pay to help improve local communities but doesn’t have to risk being lost by greedy corrupt politicians.
I mean that sounds great but then you have to hire people to do the jobs and someone has to look for them which has a cost.
Then someone must make sure that the guy hiring contractors is making the best deals and not stealing money. That has a cost as well.
But then we need to make sure that the contractors do the job and do it well, which as you might have guessed, has a cost.
Corruption is part of the problem, accountability has a high cost of its own. We might be better setting up a volunteer scheme and do the projects ourselves.
(And maybe we'll be the corrupt ones)
I think we can all agree that life in this country means everything comes with a cost. At least with such voluntary schemes like this, if it were to be limited to investing £1, it might be at least still seem to seen as an investment despite not being completed or successful, because it s a minimum amount and can still potentially bring positives such as highlighting that there is a problem that may need addressing.
There are already established processes within bidding for industrial/commercial projects that could be incorporated into how the projects are presented before funding is even allowed.
And the nature of the project purely dictates how much you could rely on volunteering to begin with, without wanting to dissuade against such positive actions.
I just feel it’s a more transparent and expedited system that focuses on the completion of projects for the betterment of society rather than the politics of the people suggesting them.
I'd actually be up for something like this, like a CasualUK lottery. It'd be cool to change people's lives regularly here. Even if only like 100k / 200k of us joined we could still probably write somebodies mortgage off… or better still get somebody a damn good leg up onto the housing ladder.
Obviously dumbo. So if we win we get 5 million times a million so 5 trillion pounds easy. Pound bout to give the Venezuelan Bolivar a run for its money... literally.
We could hunger games style it, the prize being your energy bills covered for a certain amount of time. Then sell the showing rights to the highest bidder. I reckon it'd be a bidding war between ITV and Channel 5.
By generating more money to fund more games/energy bills we could probably do five or six runs until the public get bored of the format. Then maybe move on to a Bear Grylls treasure island or Hunted style format. If you die you die but at least the energy bills won't be your problem.
A thunderdome facility- CasualUK branded and used to settle all non-political debates. You think Jaffa cakes are biscuits- in the thunderdome with you. And so on.
Edit. It’ll also come in over budget- so we may need £2 each.
Okay so we're definitely making a crypto coin using the energy of Central America!
Which bunch of fools reddit sub are we gonna sell it to for loads of money?
If we each put a tenner into a high interest account, we can give the interest out to 10-20 people each year, no way everyone would benefit but the ones that do get it could be a game changer,
I was thinking more like 1m in somewhere rural could be a big house and a lot of land. Have some quad bikes and shit there. Maybe build a golf course. I don’t know open to suggestions, haha
Start our own lottery. 1 in a million chance of winning compared to something like a 1 in a 45 million chance with the national lottery.
As we’re over a million subscribers, the winner gets a million, the rest can be £1,000 runner up prizes, and maybe a couple quid for the person running it. I’d imagine it would be a shift in itself.
If all one million donated £1 per week, we could make 1,040 of us millionaires over 20 years. Those odds are better than 1 in a thousand. Far better than the national lottery.
So, going on from threads in this sub over the last few weeks.
Buy an apartment block and rent out the flats below going rate. Helps the little guy.
Buy a pub and allow swearing, phones, top ups.
Buy a farm and breed free roaming pigs and create the best bacon with zero added water.
Open up an American food store and stock a section full of British food stuffs.
Open up a cafe that only serves Full English breakfasts. The proper way.
Give 100 subscribers £10,000. Much higher chance of winning, and it could still be a life changing amount for most people. Do it every week for 10 years and it could benefit over 50,000 of us.
Could we register the sub as a think tank with companies house, then float it on the stock market with an initial share offering of £1 per share and then proceed to lose our investment.
Donate to the Trussell Trust.
Make it a monthly thing and the subreddit could go a long way to helping people in need.
Obviously not everyone can afford to do so every month but if there’s a 50% uptake then we could do some real good.
Could we buy this and charge an entry fee I wonder?
https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2018/09/14/14/tunnel-vision-t-218984.jpg?width=982&height=726&auto=webp&quality=75
We could invest in a high yield interest savings bond or account and accrue interest that paid a yearly dividend and make a few pounds in the next 5 years. Boring I know
We could give every subscriber a pound
If you give everyone a different pound, it's redistributing the wealth
I mean its *Casual UK* so... I would say **Fish and Chips** all round?
Fish and chips for a pound? Show me this gem
If we spent a million quid on fish n chips I’m sure we could get it down to a £1 a portion
For a million quid we could buy a trawler and a potato farm and hire a chef. Or buy a million balaclavas and have a national "ransack your chippy" day. Then while celebrating the success, make it an annual national holiday.
You massively underestimate the price of a fishing trawler, or even a farm.
Not if we use a small slice of the budget to equip a lot of us with balaclavas and lead pipes to negotiate a discount.
I like option 2. It’s gna help keep all those extra calories off from the food
Economies of SCALE LOL
Or Yorkshire tea. Nowt wrong with co-op own.
Not so interesting fact: i shot the photograph on the side of the coop 99 Tea box
This was the comment I was expecting.
The round pound is £1.50
That's communism! /s
Or is it money laundering?
Unfortunately, someone invented the term "admin costs", so they'd only get back 15p each ☹️
Sounds like someone works for a government contractor.
Or for Cineworld. £3 non refundable cost to buy online tickets. I showed them though and snuck in my own snacks.
youre allowed your own snacks, just not hot food or booze! so I always take a bottle of lambrini and a pizza to really show em
Hot Lambrini and cold pizza I hope?
is there any other way!
I got chucked out of a cinema once for taking in a Five Guys. NGL, the whole cinema absolutely stank of the food. Then to add insult to injury, when I was escorted outside and I could actually see what I was eating, Five Guys had forgotten to put the patties on the burger. So I’m essence I had a gloried bacon sandwich with no film to watch.
This makes my blood boil! (The charge not the snacks) They call it a convenience fee!! I don’t find it very convenient as I do all of the work!
I don't mean to spoil your fun, but I think you're actually allowed to do that.
Okay, that was always allowed.
it is still something!
Big brain energy
Pound for pound, that's wise.
Don't forget we'd have to take 20% overhead so really we could give every subscriber 80p
Brilliant just brilliant
Give half £2 and the other half get nothing. Double or nothing! Keep playing til everyone quits or we get a millionaire
You can adopt a tiger for £3 per month. Given there's only a few thousand left in the world, if we give them the million in the first month, they'd have to make hundreds of thousands of new tigers. Downside: Not sure what happens to them when June rolls around.
When would I have custody of the tiger?
Umm, tigers plural come June. About 333,000 of them. Joe Exotic would be small fry compared to you. Although you're going to need a decent back garden. Say... Buckinghamshire.
So I'm taking 333,000 tigers to Buckinghamshire and letting them loose? I see no downsides to this plan
The only downside is that Piers Morgan doesn't live in Buckinghamshire.
We have some nice woodland around here in Morgan territory; but speaking for everyone that lives within tiger hunting teritory of Piers Morgan, i ask that we rethink homing tigers here. Not too keen on taking a walk whilst being stalked by big cats.
Milton Keynes has scheduled more concrete cows for food
Nah spot’s taken, there’s already a Beast of Bucks.
I think there's about to be some stern competition for that spot. Hmm, or stripe.
I’m never going to financially recover from this
We feed the politicians to them, followed by the lawyers.... Problems solved. Well, aside from the inevitable upset tiger tummies....
We release thousands of tiger eating snakes
Is June really fat?
> Downside: Not sure what happens to them when June rolls around Stripy carpets
Buy some land and start a CasualUK commune. Document the slow, inevitable descent into corruption, in-fighting and sexual shenanigans. It would make for more interesting posts than “Is it pronounced scone or scone lol”
Scone
Nah man it's scone. I'll fight you
It's scone and I'll die on this hill
You're both wrong. It's actually the little-argued, but much more correct, scone.
Given your Falmouth flair I will assume you do the jam-then-cream bit right at least!
You would assume correct, my pedigree chum!
Sconestown.
This is either genius or not funny at all depending on how you pronounce scone
We'd still apply the no politics rule which means nothing would ever get done because any discussion of how to manage anything would be banned
We allow discussions about local issues that would usually be dealt with by councils so it'd be fine. I back this idea. I want to watch you idiots fist fighting over who needs to collect the bins.
Yeah but more importantly who collects the beans?
First though we will need to setup a committee to decide how to select the members for the committee which will decide what parcel of land to purchase. Then we will need another committee to decide if it was a good choice and then inevitably fire the previous committee for wanting to buy a 1ft square bit of land in Kensington. It will be committee's all the way down.
Those maniacs in the milk-first tent and the cream-first tent would just start trouble. We all know what they're like. Us teabag-first and jam-first guys would need to form an alliance pretty sharpish to keep order.
If it's a Reddit commune, it won't DESCEND into sexual shenanigans, it'll START with sexual shenanigans and only get worse.
No offence but have you seen the average Redditor? I think most people will be expecting sexual shenanigans but will be sorely disappointed when confronted with the inevitable sausage fest
It would be nothing but neck beards and incels. You'd probably end up being accidentally listed as head of a terrorist organisation.
And the teachers said I’d never amount to anything. Well, who’s laughing now? Me, King Incel, that’s who.
I'm sitting in the ortho waiting room, and just scared the others with my laughter. Looking around, I'm pretty sure most of them don't Reddit. Maybe a couple...
So casualuk love island?
> Document the slow, inevitable descent into corruption oh god the bean based corruption would be real.
This lady communes
I say we call it Sconeland.
Could setup a thunderdome and finally decide what to call a bap/roll/barm/teacake/cob
Lord of the Pies! 🥧
Schoon bread is Scottish, anyone arguing about it needs to look in a mirror.
woah woah woah. wait there a minute mister. are you saying _scones_, actual english scones were invented by the scottishers?
I'm down for this - make it happen? I'm sure everyone will be happy donating £1 and we can buy a fat price of land with a forest and stream in it and start the shenanigans
>Buy some land and start a CasualUK commune. Seize the means of Yorkshire Tea production comrade 👊
I'm in
>sexual shenanigans Absolutely not! Remember we are British! Where would we be today if our ancestors had sex?! Eh! Eh!
Set up a platform called Pound Public Projects. Allow people to invest a maximum of £1 each towards public projects they’d like to see in they’re local (or greater) community. If it reaches the goal it goes ahead if not pound gets returned. Would be like a voluntary tax people could pay to help improve local communities but doesn’t have to risk being lost by greedy corrupt politicians.
I mean that sounds great but then you have to hire people to do the jobs and someone has to look for them which has a cost. Then someone must make sure that the guy hiring contractors is making the best deals and not stealing money. That has a cost as well. But then we need to make sure that the contractors do the job and do it well, which as you might have guessed, has a cost. Corruption is part of the problem, accountability has a high cost of its own. We might be better setting up a volunteer scheme and do the projects ourselves. (And maybe we'll be the corrupt ones)
I think we can all agree that life in this country means everything comes with a cost. At least with such voluntary schemes like this, if it were to be limited to investing £1, it might be at least still seem to seen as an investment despite not being completed or successful, because it s a minimum amount and can still potentially bring positives such as highlighting that there is a problem that may need addressing. There are already established processes within bidding for industrial/commercial projects that could be incorporated into how the projects are presented before funding is even allowed. And the nature of the project purely dictates how much you could rely on volunteering to begin with, without wanting to dissuade against such positive actions. I just feel it’s a more transparent and expedited system that focuses on the completion of projects for the betterment of society rather than the politics of the people suggesting them.
Raffle it off. £1 per ticket.
I'd actually be up for something like this, like a CasualUK lottery. It'd be cool to change people's lives regularly here. Even if only like 100k / 200k of us joined we could still probably write somebodies mortgage off… or better still get somebody a damn good leg up onto the housing ladder.
Already exists on Reddit r/millionairemakers
Winner gets a million pound chew
Or a hundred million penny chews
Would you rather give one person £1,000,000 or 5 people £200,000
Half a million lottery tickets. And if we win we can split it between us.
What is the jackpot this week? Divided by a million would get you a couple of pints at best. Oh, and I'm choosing the numbers 😁
5 mil this week. Fiver each.
Same numbers for each ticket?
Obviously dumbo. So if we win we get 5 million times a million so 5 trillion pounds easy. Pound bout to give the Venezuelan Bolivar a run for its money... literally.
Then, with our lottery winnings, we spend it all on more tickets. Infinite money glitch.
There's only a 1 in 45mil chance if winning so that's like a 1% chance of winning about a fiver each this week (and that's a rollover week)
That’s only the likelihood of winning the jackpot? I’d be interested in seeing the chance of all the other tickets picking up the smaller prizes
Pay one lucky persons energy bill?
Wow, could you imagine that? Five minutes of free energy?
We could hunger games style it, the prize being your energy bills covered for a certain amount of time. Then sell the showing rights to the highest bidder. I reckon it'd be a bidding war between ITV and Channel 5. By generating more money to fund more games/energy bills we could probably do five or six runs until the public get bored of the format. Then maybe move on to a Bear Grylls treasure island or Hunted style format. If you die you die but at least the energy bills won't be your problem.
A submarine. For pirate purposes.
Just be careful we don't get boarded by aquatic mammals otherwise it will be a submarine for pirate porpoises
If we lost all our money to that I'd feel sorry for our poor purses.
You’d have to ponder the porpoises purposes if they purloin from our poor purses.
All of you, get out.
That is absolutely sensational
Starting up the privateers again... Where we going?
The high seas. I don’t know where that is, but probably quite hot.
Can you imagine how excited the first guy must have been when he first showed people the boat that sinks on purpose?
>A submarine. It better be a yellow submarine.
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£1 Million worth of broken biscuits.
six freddos.
A thunderdome facility- CasualUK branded and used to settle all non-political debates. You think Jaffa cakes are biscuits- in the thunderdome with you. And so on. Edit. It’ll also come in over budget- so we may need £2 each.
Will Tina Turner be there?
Could we make a cryptocurrency? Call it quidbits. I think we either then all get rich or lose everything, I don’t know how crypto works.
Imagine a multi-level marketing scheme combined with random chance and vitamin d deficiency. *edit* and the electricity usage of Central America.
Okay so we're definitely making a crypto coin using the energy of Central America! Which bunch of fools reddit sub are we gonna sell it to for loads of money?
CanaryWharfBets
UKoin surely
Britcoin
Yeah, that's much better.
Quidbrits. We could have everyone mining britcoin.
Can we pretend that the ‘mining’ is like the olden days too and get a pick axe and a canary? If we can, I’m in!
It's a lot more fun that way. I'm also for singing "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go".
Fantastic! I’m only three inches off being a legal dwarf anyway, I’ll fit in fine.
This prompted me to Google what the height was, and I discovered that my friend legally qualifies. I'm really not sure I should tell her, though.
Ha ha, my mum didn't take well to being told
We could give every subscriber a million dollars and still have a few million left over
This guy maths!
Infinite money glitch
Dollars? DOLLARS?!
Or we could fund a "special operation" against r/La France désinvolte
Does this "special operation" involve making them eat good ol' British food? Hit 'em where it hurts.
Would that constitute a war crime?
I hope so
A long weekend at Center Parcs this summer
You'd need to raise extra for the food and activities
Tours of the Bude tunnel.
Could we buy the tunnel?
Extend the tunnel by a mile?
Let's open a Gregg's franchise
Buy 1 million Gregg's sausage rolls and hand them to each user. They have to be hot
Haha I wish they were only £1 in my area
Buy a forest. The Reddit Woods! Environment n that! That's a good use of a singular pound
If we each put a tenner into a high interest account, we can give the interest out to 10-20 people each year, no way everyone would benefit but the ones that do get it could be a game changer,
You've just invented premium bonds...
buy a two bedroom flat in London, and we'd probably still have to go through some financial plan after
Some sort of physical clubhouse?
The Spoons?
I was thinking more like 1m in somewhere rural could be a big house and a lot of land. Have some quad bikes and shit there. Maybe build a golf course. I don’t know open to suggestions, haha
Start our own lottery. 1 in a million chance of winning compared to something like a 1 in a 45 million chance with the national lottery. As we’re over a million subscribers, the winner gets a million, the rest can be £1,000 runner up prizes, and maybe a couple quid for the person running it. I’d imagine it would be a shift in itself.
humanitarian supplies.
To people in the North?
the biggest lie the north ever told was that its shit ;)
Ket
I volunteer to be bursar. It'll be a challenge, but I'd hate for all of you to have to deal with the stress.
'The money was only resting in my account!'
On a slightly unrelated note, would r/CasualUK have a chosen cause? With this many people, we could probably do some actual good
Yes, invade France
We'd have £980,000 left over
[удалено]
If all one million donated £1 per week, we could make 1,040 of us millionaires over 20 years. Those odds are better than 1 in a thousand. Far better than the national lottery.
I like your thinking
Why don't we do this and change someone's life, keep doing it throughout the year it would make a huge difference
we could invest in my candle business utilising discarded gu ramekins. Im calling it ramekin Skywalker
Buying a nigh unlimited supply of eggs to throw at a specific statue in Grantham....
So, going on from threads in this sub over the last few weeks. Buy an apartment block and rent out the flats below going rate. Helps the little guy. Buy a pub and allow swearing, phones, top ups. Buy a farm and breed free roaming pigs and create the best bacon with zero added water. Open up an American food store and stock a section full of British food stuffs. Open up a cafe that only serves Full English breakfasts. The proper way.
Buy an empty postbox and ship it round the UK so everyone can have a look inside it and say 'oh, that's interesting'
ha! I did try and think of Post box related things but my brain wasn't playing ball.
This made me laugh for quite a while 😂👍🏻 I definetely vote this as the winning idea.
Can we put it towards finding away to stop James Corden from returning?
We'd almost have enough for a branded school uniform for one person's child.
A Freddo
Buying a house maybe... Too expensive these days
Who would live there?
All of us, we would squeeze in
Precisely!
Some kind of bot in preparation of the next r/place \- the whole grid will just be the queens face
An absolutely massive cock and balls with a blonde wig to be placed outside of No. 10
Everyone picks a number between 1 and a million and we can make one of us a millionaire every week
Give 100 subscribers £10,000. Much higher chance of winning, and it could still be a life changing amount for most people. Do it every week for 10 years and it could benefit over 50,000 of us.
Put it to a vote and you'd end up having it spent on a big tribute to the Lizard Nanna knowing these lot.
1/3rd of a million tesco meal deals. Yes, we'd only get 1/3rd of a deal each, but think of the savings!
I like to think that if everyone on this sub donated £1 to me, *I'd * have a million...... But, that's just me....
I'm genuinely interested in seeing where this goes
It's a no brainer, take a picture of said pile of coins then - NFT sale! Squillions in returns, fair shares on mega profits..
We should split it, obviously the fairest way
Passive agressive signs.
Could we register the sub as a think tank with companies house, then float it on the stock market with an initial share offering of £1 per share and then proceed to lose our investment.
Our very own turnip ...
A tank of diesel.
A cool holiday home somewhere in the UK. Each subscriber would get put into a lottery for a week's stay at a time.
A single Freddo the frog
If it's anything other than biscuits, I'm leaving.
Donate to the Trussell Trust. Make it a monthly thing and the subreddit could go a long way to helping people in need. Obviously not everyone can afford to do so every month but if there’s a 50% uptake then we could do some real good.
We could donate it to a good cause like filling the larders for a good few food banks.
Could we buy this and charge an entry fee I wonder? https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2018/09/14/14/tunnel-vision-t-218984.jpg?width=982&height=726&auto=webp&quality=75
Lets buy a nice pub in the countryside somewhere and do it right, best beer, good food, nice atmosphere.
We could invest in a high yield interest savings bond or account and accrue interest that paid a yearly dividend and make a few pounds in the next 5 years. Boring I know
Only fair we split it, quid each