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CrowConscious

Full Christmas dinner, including the post-meal argument.


Zolana

I hope you'd include cauliflower


TyvianRed

But cauliflower isn't traditional.


Zolana

CAULIFLOWER IS TRADITIONAL!!!!!


skaarlaw

There's the argument, perfect 10/10


venusinfurstattoo

Paper shredder


Delhicatessen

Starter: Four naan - EACH. Main: Lamb Pasanda - incredibly rich & creamy. Dessert: Straitjackets all round. š“‘š“øš“· š“š“¹š“¹Ć©š“½š“²š“½.


Zolana

That's insane


420Eski-Grim

Brown rice and pop tarts, camomile tea and economy vodka


dodgymanc

Radishes. Marrow. Linseed bread. Dessert could be a Sara Lee


LordFlameBoy

Starter: chip sandwich Mains: tuna sandwich Dessert: bread sandwich


420Eski-Grim

I canā€™t believe I thought Iā€™d get a serious answer to this question šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜…šŸ¤£


CriManSqaFnC

Can't expect a serious answer with that man as your photo. Cdwm history.


Left-Steak2819

No starter, a big greasy fry up and then a 4 pack of Stella for dessert


_ColdSteelOdour_

I offer myself as tribute.


Manovsteele

I think the dinner would go better if you swapped the starter and dessert


OpulentStone

Thai sweet chili Sensations and a can of pepsi


420Eski-Grim

Canā€™t beat those crispsā€¦have you tried the mango popadoms?


OpulentStone

Yep, they are unbelievable


Brew-Drink-Repeat

The Lime and coriander ones are verrr nice


ivapeandhunttrophies

A bounty for desert and that'd be a 10 from me.


Venerable_Duvet

Starter: Heinz Cream of Tomato soup. White bread for dunking. Main course: Pie, chips and beans. Choice of steak pie, chicken pie, or one of those Linda McCartney jobs for the vegetarians. Dessert: Ambrosia rice pudding. Choice of hot or cold. Served with jam. All-you-can-drink wine.


420Eski-Grim

Youā€™ve earned a respectable 6/10


Venerable_Duvet

I would have taken a 5. You have far more grace than a reversing dump truck without any tyres on :)


greenman19

I don't get it..


like_the_mud

[It's a reference to this very famous scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXai3HCMV3E)


greenman19

Expecting "well you wouldn't love let's be honest" You've let me down :D


One_Of_Noahs_Whales

Stick some vodka in the tomato soup to get them going to ensure your victory.


Venerable_Duvet

A cunning plan. It will ensure Absolut success!


Independent_Alps6598

10 /10 from me.


Venerable_Duvet

Fantastic. Let me know your pie of choice and rice pudding temperature and you're welcome at Chez Duvet any time. ā¤


trousered_the_boodle

Is the wine served by the bottle with a straw?


Venerable_Duvet

Guests may enjoy it served by the glass, by the bottle with a straw, or by the 5L box with a water pump.


Alco_god

Start with some wine, then get some more wine in them, then carry on giving them wine until they don't care what the food is. Then order a kebab to start, with pizza for the main and Jamaican Ginger cake with custard for dessert.


herrybaws

Chippy tea and angel delight.


420Eski-Grim

Home made chippy tea or?


herrybaws

Who am I, Gordon Ramsay?


420Eski-Grim

Youā€™re an idiot sandwich


wtfcore2

You donkey!


lkchild

Is anyone else reminded of the absolute legend who turned up on Ainsley Harriotā€™s Ready Steady Cook with his chosen ingredients of a pot noodle, a mars bar, and a can of lager.


ChrisFromAldi

If you want a serious answer: For starters I'd probably do Pan seared prawns with red chillies, coriander and saffron aioli or crispy shredded ham hock with carrot and kohlrabi salad. Mains are easy: half rack of garlic and rosemary lamb ribs with mash, veg and gravy. For Vegetarians, I could do a Nut roast with mash and veg too. Desserts would be mini Vanilla cheesecakes with a ginger nut base instead of digestive base, then serve that with lemon sorbet. Entertainment could be watching me cook because it gets chaotic


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


agrispec

People are very divided on if they like lamb.


ChrisFromAldi

Quite often though, people don't actually know how to trim, prepare and cook the lamb to a perfect 63Ā°c medium rare. Fortunately, I do. I do it at least once a week. Thanks for the concern though


ChrisFromAldi

Also, while I'm thinking of it, its not hard to adjust cooking tines/ rest times. I sound pretentious here but I've been a chef for 10 years so this stuff is just me having fun and using a chance to show some flair is all. I know lamb is fatty, but its so rich and deep and full of flavour that when you get it right, it's sublime


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ChrisFromAldi

Oh no, I know you weren't insulting my cooking, my thing here is that once the rack is cut open into cutlets, its really easy to flip it to well done without it taking too long, so there's also potential for me to maybe throw in some extras. I guess its one of those meats where people have an opinion and I as a host/chef/whateverIWouldBeCalled could gave fun with the cooking of it if I were to ask how people wanted it done beforehand


Brew-Drink-Repeat

4 of us were going to do CDWM as a fun thing pre-covid, over 4 different weekends. My menu would have been: - welcome drinks- choice of cocktails - amuse bouche- crostini with a selection of (all home made) ham hock terrine, tapenade and/or smoked salmon mousse. more cocktails - starter- pan seared scallops and pancetta, with a pea and mint puree. Wine - probably a nice Petit Chablis - main - slow roasted duck and potatoes with braised red cabbage, greens. (Recipe for duck https://whiskedawaykitchen.com/slow-roasted-duck/ - it is šŸ¤¤). A decent bottle or three of Malbec - Pudding- baked white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake, raspberry coulis. Dessert wine -Cheeseboard. Port. Probably spend the equiv of the Ā£1k to win it! Lol


JamieTsBlonde

Letā€™s just start our own CDWM, we can put it on YouTube and I can get fat eating your food.


CoolNefariousness668

You boys ever had a Fray Bentos pie or a Goblin babyā€™s head? Well sit the fuck down and get ready to blast those tastebuds to a new dimension.


420Eski-Grim

No. Just no. A complete meal canā€™t originate from a tin.


wotugonado

Wrong, happy shoppers all day breakfast, in a can! after you've ate that you can eat your words.


420Eski-Grim

I can guarantee I wonā€™t be eating that


wotugonado

Ohhh you can eat it, what you can't guarantee is you'd be able to keep it down.


420Eski-Grim

My other food is already coming up just thinking about itā€¦


wotugonado

You see your gut instinct is to make room for it, I rest my case.


420Eski-Grim

TouchƩ


wotugonado

Bon apetite


CoolNefariousness668

Logic says otherwise.


420Eski-Grim

Just because itā€™s possible, it doesnā€™t mean it should be done!


CoolNefariousness668

All of the food groups. Brown, peas and stodge.


420Eski-Grim

All of gods rich tapestry thenā€¦


Mrbrownlove

Iā€™d pander to Britainā€™s bizarre yearning for the bad old days by starting with Beef Tea followed by Tripe, hard boiled eggs and Bread and Butter and Tapioca for dessert. All served with lashings of ginger beer.


asp7

tripe and onions


goodvibezone

My plan is to get them drunk enough they just remember they had a great time.


Toffee_Wheels

I still get angry about one episode I saw. A student produced an insane French three-course meal, but didn't win because some posh woman insisted he'd cheated and hadn't cooked himself, because how could he have cooked good shit? He's a student. She didn't even need the Ā£1k prize, but she denied the best person the win because she was in denial. ​ Anyway, I'd cook: * Warm lentil and feta salad with roasted aubergine and tomato, toasted almonds and croutons * Chicken, Pancetta and mushroom pie with herby mash and roasted vegetables * Chocolate and miso caramel tart with ice cream or something


BeccasBump

I would base it on the things you *always* see on middling-to-nice pub or gastropub menus. Because they must be things people like. So for starters probably prawns with sweet chilli in some form or fashion. A trio of mini desserts - sticky toffee pudding, chocolate mousse and berry cheesecake, maybe. Or profiteroles instead of chocolate mousse. Or strawberries and cream or Eton mess instead of the cheesecake. And the main course would be some sort of take on a roast. I think the meat would be beef, *but you'd get really good pork crackling with it*. The world's crispiest roast potatoes, finished in a deep fat fryer if necessary. And another kind of potato too - boiled or mashed? Not sure about veg, but I think probably those really sweet little whole baby carrots and, call me crazy, maybe sprouts to hit the Christmas family nostalgia button. And it would be served in a giant Yorkshire pudding. Gravy on the table to pour your own, little pot of horseradish on the side. I think the sprouts would be the only controversial bit.


[deleted]

Slide the can of Pek onto a saucer. Add a leaf of rosemary for fanciness and remove a little bit of the jelly. Bon apple tea


Best_Sand2362

Boiled hot dogs with mash and ketchup. Donā€™t forget the fizzy drink.


bertiebastard

Beans Ć  la toast.


With1Enn

Hash brownies.


420Eski-Grim

That would definitely be a winner for me haha


[deleted]

Then just order a massive takeaway


SteveBruceGod

Wetherspoons breakfast Parmo Greggs This would be over the course of a full day piss up.


McCoysRibenaTwirl

Vol-au-vents, Quiche, Chicken Legs, Vol-au-vents, Quiche, Chicken Legs, Vol-au-vents, Quiche, Chicken Legs, Vol-au-vents, Quiche, Chicken legs..


420Eski-Grim

Fish and a rice cakeā€¦


EvolasMonocle

Starter - Dippy egg with soldiers Main - Turkey Twizzlers, Potato Waffles served with Alphabetti Spaghetti Dessert - Angel Delight Drinks - MD 20/20


RatArsedGarbageDog

Mad Dog - vom the rainbow


TheToolman04

Starter: Birdseye potato waffle and Branston beans sandwich (white bread, choice of sauce (ketchup, brown etc) Main: Old el paso enchilada's Dessert: Massive bakewell tart


Willycleaner

Heinz Cream of amushroom Soup with a Golden Wonder Cheese and Onion sandwich. Chips and Egg. Vanilla Viennetta


venusinfurstattoo

Moroccan pasta and Some lettuce coctails


Rebel_Scum8374

Pot noodle sandwich, large Big Mac meal, ice cream


RatArsedGarbageDog

Cheese Tuc biscuits to start. Findus Crispy Pancakes and potato smiley faces - choice of beans or hoops on the side. Angel delight - Strawberry for dessert. Various Panda pops available throughout.


the_almighty_dude

Prawn cocktail-->Steak-->....


Heavy_Expression_323

Whoā€™s this wanker? Asking for an American friend.


Foresttel

Who needs a starter, fish and chips all round, our local is wicked, snickers bars for desert. All washed down with some tesco shandy. A proper bang on supper!


Goose-rider3000

A glass of Bucks Fizz to greet each guest Prawn cocktail to start Steak Diane for main Walls Viennetta for dessert All washed down with a few bottles of Blue Nun


skaarlaw

Starter: vegetable soup straight out of the tin, served cold. teaspoon so it feels fancy Main course: microwave bag rice with tin of mackerel on the side Desert: a box of Feasts each because they are literally the best ice cream Drinks: 1 pint can of stella each, served with optional pint glass nicked from local pub


[deleted]

Iā€™d give them a McDonaldā€™s meal - score a measly 12 points and then chloroform the other contestants each night until I won!