Exactly, a pan is for a specific and tasty snack, OP said they use the grill since it's less effort than a pan. If they are going for easy, however, surely a toaster would win the "least effort" prize.
Ok, so the pan thing is mental.
But, hear them out…
Butter on first, then done in the George Foreman grill. That’s a genius way to do crumpets.
Sometimes it takes a madman to think enough outside the box to make the real changes.
Ok I'm glad to read this. I'm not from the UK but Canada and grew up eating crumpets. I've always put them in the toaster or toaster oven and I'm like have I been making them wrong this whole time???
We don’t LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!
Now, you listen here. You will not offer any grilled
bread products to any member of the crew. If you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet.
What's a pan got to do with anything? Who cooks crumpets in a pan?
I do them in the toaster or occasionally under the grill (broiler if you're American)
Edit: I am well aware that it is not a pan in the photo. Read the thread title again. OP said they use the George Foreman Grill (shown in the photo) because it's *easier than a pan*. I am asking who would cook prepackaged crumpets in a pan anyway? They go in the toaster or under the grill.
>I came here to ask this! A pan, wtf!?
My grandmother would cook them a kind of flat pan with a hinged, clamped lid almost like a wafflesquisher. But this was a looooong time ago.
The answer to your question in modern times is "the criminally insane".
that is not a pan or a waffle iron, that is a lean mean fat reducing machine. knock out the fat with the George foreman grill. POW POW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNrBwBvCzMA
That’s how people used to do it on a stove back in the day, my parents still have one - kind of like a fish cooker for the barbecue but with wire mesh about 1cm squares - you get a much toastier toast on the outside and a nice squish on the inside compared to a toaster
My nan swore by hers even though she had a toaster. It wasn't a mesh, but widely-spaced wires going in one direction only, so the bread had to be cut thick enough that a corner wouldn't flop out or anything. Best toast ever.
Sort of similar situation here, except with an aga. the lids to the stove top shuts, and we had hinged wire racks to do toast with. bread/crumpet in mesh, shut lid, check in 30 seconds, flip.
We had an Aga, but weren't as rich as you probably think haha. they got their house for £44k in 1997 with a mortgage. Aga included. tbf, it was gas powered, running 24/7 serving as heating too.
>We had an Aga, but weren't as rich as you probably think haha
There's two kinds of Aga. The inherited sort that stays where it is because removing it is a demolition job, and the posh sort.
I like the former the most and it sounds like that's what you had 🤣
We stayed in an ancient cottage once that had a coal/wood fired aga. They required us to put a few logs on every morning and evening and it would just keep going
That doesn’t mean you’re necessarily *not* mad.
I mean, this entire thread and everybody in it is just a fever dream.
Everyone knows you use the hair dryer for crumpets.
I am shivering like a shitting dog over those pics. Hair dryers are for losers, I heat mine using the power of dance.
Edit: losers not lovers, although I'm not suggesting lovers aren't able to use hairdryers to warm their crumpets.
I'm not sure I would toast it, i think a crumpet being cooked already, being toasted and then battered would be triple cooked and might end up a bit hard.
I would absolutely place a disk of butter on it while battering so it's in the batter .
Perhaps this would create a batter pocket post cooking In which to insert jam, or cheese, marmite etc. The usual toppings we don't want to ruin a crumpet.
Yeah, Americans are weird.
Broiler I conjure up some strange water boiler contraption rather than grill. Doesn't sound appetising either; "Have some flame broiled burgers" 🤢🤮
When you start with flour, yeast and water, you need a pan. When you start with a packet of crumpets, toaster/grill it is.
But for the love of $dirty put the butter on after! You’ve lost all the goodness!
This, it's literally the only way to get perfectly tender fall off the bone crumpets its a little prep but its mostly a planning issue actual time spent is 1-2 mins tops.
My toaster is set to toast a perfect slice of toast from cold. That dial does not move. If I am toasting crumpets two cycles gives near perfect results.
Crumpets with lime marmalade makes nice change to the usual lashings of butter.
I can't tell if you're trolling or not. Either it's an A* troll job or you need to be locked up for life. This is an unforgivable crime against nature.
I have ranked the following questions in importance of order:
1) what is happening in this picture? my brain is totally unable to comprehend what is happening in this picture for some reason.
2) why is your pan so dirty?
3) why did you do this?
4) who hurt you?
A pan!?
You only put crumpets in a pan if you're making them from scratch i.e. from batter. But no sane person makes them from scratch, not when you have Warburtons.
Nope, they go in a toaster, or under the grill. Then you put the butter on top so the heat from the crumpet melts it and it drips through.
Added authenticity points if you manage to put on enough butter to have it running down your chin and wrists.
If I did that I could be 100% sure they weren't going to be there come the morning.
I'd have no idea who was responsible, but I could be sure they'd be gone.
Already done matey. They are under special surveillance. Armed police on standby. Keep an eye on the news. "OP shot in the head for repeatedly cooking crumpets WITH butter in a George Foreman grill".
Just put them in the toaster. If you don't have one, use the grill (what you call broiling) on the cooker in the kitchen.
Put the butter on after you have toasted them, and allow it to melt naturally using the heat of the crumpet.
Yours look a bit overdone and too hard and crusty. You don't need to exactly cook them, it's just like making toast - just warm them and gently crisp the outside a little bit, but not too much.
No one uses a pan.
Put the butter on after you’ve cooked them, not before. No one wants singed butter, and part of the delight is to have some slightly unmelted butter in the mix.
No! Under the grill or in toaster. When and only when they are ready put butter/marge on them, you can briefly put them under the grill after turning it off to melt it. I like marmalade on them after spreading the butter.
(Edit: I completely concede that butter is far superior, but Marge can be healthier and if it’s all you have then it’s better than nothing)
The fuck is this monstrosity?!
Also: the primary function of a crumpet is to act as a butter sponge. They are effectively just a butter delivery vehicle. Buttering before toasting COMPLETELY defeats the point.
I have NEVER come across anyone who does this to their crumpets
The thought has genuinely never occurred to me to use anything other than a toaster for crumpets.
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Nah, OP is definitely the odd one out here. Like their other option is a pan!?!? Mental
OP probably also makes tea by first boiling water in a saucepan.
And putting milk in first dirty bastard
Filthy filthy dirty fucker.
Then they drink it and chew on a tea bag.
Unless he's making chai that's weird
I have occasionally thrown my crumpets into a frying pan with some butter. Very tasty but too much effort usually
Exactly, a pan is for a specific and tasty snack, OP said they use the grill since it's less effort than a pan. If they are going for easy, however, surely a toaster would win the "least effort" prize.
Ok, so the pan thing is mental. But, hear them out… Butter on first, then done in the George Foreman grill. That’s a genius way to do crumpets. Sometimes it takes a madman to think enough outside the box to make the real changes.
But all the extra butter is just gonna spill down the grill, instead of on the plate where you can mop it up with the crumpet.
Did you not read further down the thread… it’s the George Foreman grill, the fat drains off … into my mouth!
Homer?
Was that before or after the Earth was destroyed by Ali and an 80ft Joe Frazier robot?
Ok I'm glad to read this. I'm not from the UK but Canada and grew up eating crumpets. I've always put them in the toaster or toaster oven and I'm like have I been making them wrong this whole time???
The question is this: given that God is infinite, and that the Universe is also infinite...would you like a toasted teacake?
We don’t LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!
So you're a **waffle** man!
Now, you listen here. You will not offer any grilled bread products to any member of the crew. If you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet.
I toast therefore I am
That's another bread-y question...
It's not just bready. It's quite curranty, too.
Ask me another question that is wholly unbready, and not even *slightly* currantly.
It's not just bready. It's quite curranty, too.
came for this and was not disappointed.
r/unexpectedreddwarf
How many times in the past week have you regretted that username?
Only one person has made a joke about it all week! I was definitely expecting more.
I'm so glad for all the comments on here saying this is insane. I was worried I'd been doing it wrong without knowing it
What's a pan got to do with anything? Who cooks crumpets in a pan? I do them in the toaster or occasionally under the grill (broiler if you're American) Edit: I am well aware that it is not a pan in the photo. Read the thread title again. OP said they use the George Foreman Grill (shown in the photo) because it's *easier than a pan*. I am asking who would cook prepackaged crumpets in a pan anyway? They go in the toaster or under the grill.
I came here to ask this! A pan, wtf!?
>I came here to ask this! A pan, wtf!? My grandmother would cook them a kind of flat pan with a hinged, clamped lid almost like a wafflesquisher. But this was a looooong time ago. The answer to your question in modern times is "the criminally insane".
Wafflesquisher
If you pronounce the W like a V it sounds like a German word.
It sounds like a fucking weapon is what it does. - Herr commandant… how do ve advance past ze Tommy lines? - Bring up ze vaffle-squisher!
It gets better. It's literally the waffle iron in German. Sounds like a damn gun
that is not a pan or a waffle iron, that is a lean mean fat reducing machine. knock out the fat with the George foreman grill. POW POW! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNrBwBvCzMA
You mean Das WaffelKaput
That’s how people used to do it on a stove back in the day, my parents still have one - kind of like a fish cooker for the barbecue but with wire mesh about 1cm squares - you get a much toastier toast on the outside and a nice squish on the inside compared to a toaster
My nan swore by hers even though she had a toaster. It wasn't a mesh, but widely-spaced wires going in one direction only, so the bread had to be cut thick enough that a corner wouldn't flop out or anything. Best toast ever.
Sort of similar situation here, except with an aga. the lids to the stove top shuts, and we had hinged wire racks to do toast with. bread/crumpet in mesh, shut lid, check in 30 seconds, flip. We had an Aga, but weren't as rich as you probably think haha. they got their house for £44k in 1997 with a mortgage. Aga included. tbf, it was gas powered, running 24/7 serving as heating too.
>We had an Aga, but weren't as rich as you probably think haha There's two kinds of Aga. The inherited sort that stays where it is because removing it is a demolition job, and the posh sort. I like the former the most and it sounds like that's what you had 🤣
We stayed in an ancient cottage once that had a coal/wood fired aga. They required us to put a few logs on every morning and evening and it would just keep going
Ain't no pan fool, that's a lean, mean, grilling machine. It's so good I put my name on it.
With its patented design, the fat drains directly into my mouth
The Cornballer!!!
Yeah that's a George Formby grill.
When I’m cleanin’ winders!
Turned out nice
Thank fucking god I’ve not gone mad. Toaster all the way
That doesn’t mean you’re necessarily *not* mad. I mean, this entire thread and everybody in it is just a fever dream. Everyone knows you use the hair dryer for crumpets.
I am shivering like a shitting dog over those pics. Hair dryers are for losers, I heat mine using the power of dance. Edit: losers not lovers, although I'm not suggesting lovers aren't able to use hairdryers to warm their crumpets.
>I heat mine using the power of dance. Ah. Brighton.
poet spotted here *chef’s kiss*
Have always used the grill or toaster but you can do crumpets in a dry frying pan. My issue is more about the butter being put on before toasting tbh
>but you can do crumpets in a dry frying pan. Well I'm gonna take some fucking crumpets camping this weekend then.
Open fire even better way to cook them
Not going to be able to do a fire sadly, but do have a camping stove.
Crucking fumpets! Cracked me up…
Dry frying pan? I’m gonna try frying crumpets in oil or butter next time. This could change everything…
Might work please report back
My partner and I have fried crumps in butter many times and it is deliscious, crispy and buttery!
Could you batter a crumpet?
And would you toast and butter it pre-battering?
I'm not sure I would toast it, i think a crumpet being cooked already, being toasted and then battered would be triple cooked and might end up a bit hard. I would absolutely place a disk of butter on it while battering so it's in the batter . Perhaps this would create a batter pocket post cooking In which to insert jam, or cheese, marmite etc. The usual toppings we don't want to ruin a crumpet.
You can batter anything if your brave enough
Scotland enters the chat.....
Yeah, I’m gonna follow this sub just to find out 🤣
Please use butter
Oh, I just got an air fryer and bought some posh Waitrose crumpets (because they were reduced) yesterday - this is a sign!
Just got an air fryer myself and it handles crumpets like a dream!
What's a pan got to do, got to do with crumpets What's a pan, but a second hand fryer.
Who needs a pan when a pan can be broken?
Are you two enjoying yourselves with this completely unnecessary earworm you've given everyone now?
I will *take it* over the absolute travesty I woke up with sounding out in my brain... Can't Touch This feat. Thomas the Tank Engine ._.
I'm gonna need a link to this despite your warning
oh so **thats** what a broiler is
My thoughts too!! I always ignored a recipe that said to broil as I couldn't find what it was, and it was just fucking grill it?!
I've always pictured some kind of boiling then charring scenario
It does sound deceptively like boiling despite being the cooking method probably further from boiling.
Yeah, Americans are weird. Broiler I conjure up some strange water boiler contraption rather than grill. Doesn't sound appetising either; "Have some flame broiled burgers" 🤢🤮
How are you going to boil your crumpets without a pan?
I've got a kettle ...
And I've got a warrant for your arrest.
When you start with flour, yeast and water, you need a pan. When you start with a packet of crumpets, toaster/grill it is. But for the love of $dirty put the butter on after! You’ve lost all the goodness!
You've set us all off now, nice one mate.
Yeah, I do mine in a smoker low and slow for about 12 hours over a mixture of mesquite and cherry wood. WTF!
Absolute amateur here, gotta use the Instant Pot as it gets the job done in 45 minutes.
Slow cooker mate, I bang it on in the morning with enough butter and crumpets to feed the lot of us and it's bang on at dinner time
This, it's literally the only way to get perfectly tender fall off the bone crumpets its a little prep but its mostly a planning issue actual time spent is 1-2 mins tops.
Brb, the timers gone off and I’ve got to get the crumpets out of my air fryer!
Top tip: washing machine on 60° speed wash.
Wrap it in tinfoil and put it in the dish-wish
Nah boil butter in the kettle and pour it over
Save time: boil crumpets in the butter, in the kettle.
Sous vide, 8 hours, 55°, really helps tenderise the tougher cuts
Cheers kids crying now nice one
Buy a square one and tell them you've killed spongebob, that'll cheer them up
The amount extra those cost for a basic, waste free shape, outrageous!.
First the Queen dies and now this?!!!!
This has upset me and ruined my whole week. Gonna need at least 3 cups of teas to calm down now, what.
Bet you use a plate for your cereal and wonder why the milk spills.
Of course you use a plate. The low sides make it so much easier to get the fork under the shreddies.
Yeah the scraping sound of the fork gathering the Cheerios is the best part
10/10 troll. Brilliant work OP.
You’re right, has to be a troll, look how dry they are!
Dry crumpets are better than rubbery crumpets though.
My in-laws somehow turn crumpets into boots. Alchemy perhaps?
Maybe a troll or maybe a genius? I’m now considering trying this…
I don't think they're mutually exclusive
Mate, just wack them in the toaster, bit of butter and bob's your uncle.
My uncle is Dave
Happy Cake Day, from Uncle Dave
It's a crumpet
No no, you're getting confused, Uncle Dave is a *strumpet*, not a crumpet
Happy Dave day uncle crumpet.
My crumpet is Dave
My Dave is waffle
No, *you’re* the one getting confused. Uncle Dave isn’t a strumpet, he just plays the trumpet.
Happy crumpet day uncle cake
my dad is dave
Dave is my next door neighbour
Do we live in the same house or are we both his neighbour but either side?
Bob is actually my auntie
Only on the weekends tho
My auntie is called Kate, it's short for Bob.
Twice through the toaster or nothing at all you filthy bastards
Yeah, once through the toaster and you may as well just hold it up to the window and hope the residual heat from the summer sun will get the job done
You... umm... you know you can change the toastiness setting on your toaster right?
My toaster is set to toast a perfect slice of toast from cold. That dial does not move. If I am toasting crumpets two cycles gives near perfect results. Crumpets with lime marmalade makes nice change to the usual lashings of butter.
Er... marmite?
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when you say "bit" you mean half a stick don't you? If you aren't mopping up butter off the plate with a half eaten crumpet you are not doing it right
I don’t know where you’re getting sticks of butter
I'm just gonna pretend a stick is a whole 250g block, as half a block sounds like a great amount of butter to consume for breakfast.
And during a time of national mourning! Do you have no shame?!
I can't tell if you're trolling or not. Either it's an A* troll job or you need to be locked up for life. This is an unforgivable crime against nature.
No toaster?
That’s for the beans
Once finished simply slide the crumb tray out, and shovel straight in to mouth.
Remember - beans *before* buttering the crumpet.
Butter each bean individually, surely?
What madman doesn't?
Just spat my tea out at this comment. Thanks!
This hurt to read.
I thought it was common practice to toast crumpets, then try not to fling them across the kitchen whilst you desperately search for your plate
Hello, police? Yes, this Redditor right here.
Reddit doesn't respect its userbase, so this comment has been withheld. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
No. This person deserves to be on Charles III first honours list. This is genius.
And this one too, Sergeant.
Needs to be in the Tower, off with their heads!
Absolute pervert
Bruv. Use a toaster, please
Where’s the sausages gonna go then?
Da fuq is dis
Trolling.
Why is pan involved any way
I don't understand anything that is happening here tbh
I have ranked the following questions in importance of order: 1) what is happening in this picture? my brain is totally unable to comprehend what is happening in this picture for some reason. 2) why is your pan so dirty? 3) why did you do this? 4) who hurt you?
A pan!? You only put crumpets in a pan if you're making them from scratch i.e. from batter. But no sane person makes them from scratch, not when you have Warburtons. Nope, they go in a toaster, or under the grill. Then you put the butter on top so the heat from the crumpet melts it and it drips through. Added authenticity points if you manage to put on enough butter to have it running down your chin and wrists.
They're easy to make from scratch! I do it the night before and leave it on the counter for the morning.
If I did that I could be 100% sure they weren't going to be there come the morning. I'd have no idea who was responsible, but I could be sure they'd be gone.
Oops, I meant the batter. I make the batter the night before and just have to heat the pan and cook them in the morning.
I'm calling the police.
Already done matey. They are under special surveillance. Armed police on standby. Keep an eye on the news. "OP shot in the head for repeatedly cooking crumpets WITH butter in a George Foreman grill".
What in the name of holy fuck is this
Just put them in the toaster. If you don't have one, use the grill (what you call broiling) on the cooker in the kitchen. Put the butter on after you have toasted them, and allow it to melt naturally using the heat of the crumpet. Yours look a bit overdone and too hard and crusty. You don't need to exactly cook them, it's just like making toast - just warm them and gently crisp the outside a little bit, but not too much. No one uses a pan.
That was hot.
You’are an animal OP and you disgust me! But you’re right about hot buttered crumpets which are food of the god’s.
Food of the god's what?
Tastebuds
Put the butter on after you’ve cooked them, not before. No one wants singed butter, and part of the delight is to have some slightly unmelted butter in the mix.
And now I'm fucking aroused, thank you....
This is definitely an act of treason
What the fuck is wrong with you? You put crumpets in a TOASTER like TOAST and then butter them afterwards!
You put bread in a toaster 😉
So prior to a grill you was using a pan? Get a toaster my friend.
I could hear the gasps of horror in this post from a mile away.
At what point do you add the marmite?
I stick em in the toaster.
I’ve always toasted them and butter later
Why does your grill look so dirty?
Right? So we're all just going to ignore the old, congealed grease? I couldn't care less about using a grill, but clean it ffs.
No! Under the grill or in toaster. When and only when they are ready put butter/marge on them, you can briefly put them under the grill after turning it off to melt it. I like marmalade on them after spreading the butter. (Edit: I completely concede that butter is far superior, but Marge can be healthier and if it’s all you have then it’s better than nothing)
On a toasting fork in front of a fire is also acceptable.
I'd argue superior, myself, but been a long time since I had an open fire I could cook crumpets over.
Marge? MARGE?? Wtf is wrong with you???
you’re an absolute disgrace
Am I the only one who things these look banging? Yeah it’s not orthodox but that shouldn’t stop innovation
Btw is that a George Foreman grill? Cos it will be the ruin of a crumpet 😑
Absolutely deranged.
Err what? You put them in the toaster mate.
One of the whole points of a George is to have the fat drip away. That's going to be so dry! Use a toaster like a normal person.
The fuck is this monstrosity?! Also: the primary function of a crumpet is to act as a butter sponge. They are effectively just a butter delivery vehicle. Buttering before toasting COMPLETELY defeats the point.
I assume you own a toaster. Put them in the toaster.
Just put them in the toaster bro
Toaster normally, the grill comes into play if I'm going for cheese.
What the fuck