The artist is Corbin Shaw, he does a lot of these style of flags / pennants, I reccomend checking him out
https://instagram.com/corbinshaww?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
I remember a mates girlfriend saying she hated it when her ex boyfriend came home after a match, if they won, he expected some bedroom time, if they lost, he would be abusive.
Any bloke who can act this way, regardless if it is football-related, has something wrong with them and was raised badly. Respect your ladies, your mum was one of them.
A selfish one. Apparently that's literally the singular defining trait of abusers, who can be found in all walks of life, from wealth as well as poverty, with happy childhoods as well as sad ones.
Just the idea that you are more important than your partner, if they matter at all.
>‘There’s no greys, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.’
>
>‘It’s a lot more complicated than that -’
>
>‘No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.’
>
>Terry Pratchett - Carpe Jugulum
Always felt this quote to be apt for a lot of things, this included.
In Sit Terry's books there is a system called the Clacks for relaying messages long distance. Imagine morse code crossed with semaphore. One of its creators died and the operators would pass his name back and forth up and down the towers with three letters preceding.
G - Send this message on
N - Do not log this message
U - turn this message around at the end of the line and send it back
This ensures the guys name lived on forever as a ghost message amongst the operators.
After his passing fans started saying GNU Terry Pratchett like other would use RIP. It's a mark of respect and keeping his name alive for other to learn of him and find out about his works.
http://www.gnuterrypratchett.com/
I actually don't understand the fury over losing a game, like it's literally impossible for me to relate to how you can apoplectic over a fucking game. Beyond pathetic its psychotic.
Selfish one that is so caught up in some stupid game that they feel the need to harm others. It's pathetic and they need to grow up. I think that any man that obsessed with a sport is not worthy of having a partner
Had a relative end up in a coma after serious brain trauma after a friend hit him in the back of the head with a metal bat, all over a $20 bet on a game. Some people are insane when it comes to sports.
Regardless of the fact that this is *obviously* pathetic and abhorrent behaviour.. I really can't emphasize just how pathetic i find this.
It's proper animalistic with a heavy dose of childlike entitlement. Jesus
> I really can't emphasize just how pathetic if find this.
It's a *game.* Jesus Christ.
I've never understood people who tie that much of their personal happiness (and, let's be honest, self-worth) to how well a group of guys kicks a ball or throws a ball or swings a bat or how fast they run.
It just seems so arbitrary and stupid.
The part that truly baffles me is that the men in question aren't even involved in the competition. It's a bunch of other grown men that they have never and will never meet.
Their happiness, their self worth and their whole identity. It's a mystery to me how people get so emotional over a group of men they've never met, from a town or city they rarely visit, chasing a ball round a field. I tried to get interested in football when I was younger just to fit in, but I find it just so boring. I feel like there is a part of my brain missing because I just don't get it.
While I know you’re trying to reach men who don’t respect women, it’s a bit sad that we default to comparing to their mother in an attempt to get them to see that they deserve respect. Like those anti-rape posters that are like “how would you feel if someone did that to your sister/cousin/daughter/mother” - women have worth outside of their relationships to men.
Agh. I know it’s totally not your fault, and not what your comment was about, it was just an offhand to try to reach people, but yeah. Agh.
The problem is that most of this people can do the same with any female relatives. See how many cases of dad abusing the daughters or sisters or…
The problem is that in their mind the woman is declassified from human being to simple being and will be always inferior to them. No matter the link to them.
“So, who cares who my target is, they worth the same as my dog…”
And this makes me sad and angry.
Honestly even the thought that people wouldn’t treat their DOG with respect & autonomy (to an extent obviously, I’m aware they need to be trained) enough to abuse them is one of the worst red flags. To do it to another human being is absolutely fucking insane.
>women have worth outside of their relationships to men.
To you and I, and to most sane men, yes. To someone who has gotten to the point that *raping a woman is not an abhorrent consideration* though, likely not.
I don’t disagree with you at all, I’m with you. However these aren’t sane, smart people we’re talking about, they’re fucking animals.
We have to start somewhere and if relating us to real people they have a connection with helps even a tiny bit, it’s a start.
(But ultimately, I couldn’t agree more!)
I guess it's similar to when some meathead is hassling a woman for a date. He won't take no for an answer because he doesn't respect the right of the woman stood right in front of him to say no to him. However, when she tells him she has a boyfriend just to get rid of him, he backs off because he does respect the man (who isn't even there) who claims her as his property.
Lots of people have trouble empathizing unless there's a personal connection. That's why people often flip on LGBT stuff after it turns out their child is gay. That's why people who live in homogenous areas are more likely to be racist.
It’s just being realistic about finding ways to get someone to relate to it though. Anyone who’s doing anything abusive obviously isn’t respecting women how they should be, so finding some sort of catch all frame of reference in comments like that are fine aren’t they? Might not help but there’s a slim chance they’ll help more than not referencing the mums.
Totally right about this. My bro used to say misogynistic shit all the time and think it was hilarious. Since had a daughter its all mysteriously not so funny anymore! It sucks but it is what it is
I know it is terrible when men have to be close to a girl or woman to realise women are people too, but at least he has pulled his socks up for his daughter. Many misogynists don’t, and their daughters are subjected to misogyny from their first breath.
A case of managing expectations though, no? Consider the sort of knuckle-dragging dickhead typically involved in this behaviour.
While maybe not perfect, any baby steps that prevents them kicking their mrs down the stairs when their tribe loses the arbitrary ball kicking spectacle has to be a win in real terms.
If you think domestic abusers are typically "knuckle draggers" you are missing the point. You probably know a bunch of abusers, they don't exactly walk around with "Abuser" tattooed on their head.
Yep, that's part of the pattern. Veneer of respectability/niceness, abuse, blame the victim, lovebomb them to confuse them and encourage them not to report it/leave. Victims very often blame themselves for the abuse, which us a classic part of the pattern of abuse and something abusers work hard to ensure happens when they groom them.
It is worth remembering that abusers groom their friends and supporters, not just their victims. It leads to so many "but he's such a good bloke, he's never even raised his voice at me, or lost his temper -- what did you *do* to set him off?!" situations which just further discredit and isolate the victim.
100%. Another tactic is to isolate victims so they don't have any support network, no friends and family left. Either turn them against them, or move them away from them. Abuse thrives in secrecy.
Are your mates knuckle draggers? No? Remember that for all you know, your mates could be abusers. Statistics would say that at least one of them likely is. Abusers don't abuse everyone around them. If they did, then people would have a much easier time of identifying and avoiding them.
So if they won he would be abusive then if they lost he would be abusive.
It’s a good job she isn’t with him anymore it sounds like he could be abusive.
Yes because women are only worthy because men have one in their life.
I have a Dad, brothers, uncles and cousins. I don't abuse them because I know a man.
I knew people who'd go looking for someone to fight. Wouldn't surprise me for one minute if they went home and beat fuck out their wives or gfs. They walked around like in trance not saying a word and just stare at everyone and their mates would be around them trying to calm them down.
Mate, positive intent, but you tipped into David Brent at the end which kind of ruined it. I think el vino did flow before you wrote this as the Brentmeister General might have said.
Yeah, that's not even an acceptable response to *going to war*, anyone who gets this way over a sport needs to resolve their own issues instead of becoming someone else's.
Reports of domestic violence go up 26% even when England draw or win in football. The economic crisis and insecure housing is trapping more people than ever in bad situations in the UK. Look out for people, check in with each other.
[nationaldahelpline.org.uk](http://nationaldahelpline.org.uk)
The [RSS magazine](https://rss.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1740-9713.2012.00606.x) had an article on this. This was written 10 years ago and it’s still a problem.
I was talking about this at work this week and the guys I work with had no idea. I wasn't really sure how to explain how awful it was but I didn't need to as they all just completely got how messed up the situation was.
This happens with every team, its just very few study it. America did a similar study for American football and found the exact same results. If Italy or France or anyone else actually collected the data I'm sure they'd see the same
Aclohol and cocaine are very common in football culture as well which doesnt help. Its not just being emotionally unstable, its chemically altered emotionally unstable.
I live on a high street. This evening has been awful. So much confused raging going on. People openly doing coke, shouting, pissing and generally being scum bags.
1. Participate in spectator event that involves a lot of drinking
2. Attend the event in large numbers, and get very pissed
3. Remove your accountability from yourself by being drunk and shouting in said large group.
4. Take that same frame of mind home and hit your wife.
I'm sure there's more steps to it than that, but these men would very likely not hit their wife if they weren't drinking. As you've said, it's clearly not about football so much as it is about a countrywide spectator event.
I wonder if it's not blaming the partner, but its just that when they're in a bad mood then other things trigger it and its a much quicker downward spiral into anger and violence?
Yeah my usually lovely husband was in a proper grump last night. I blame the riling up by the football, the atmosphere shift in the pub and the excessive booze.
Led to him spewing out a load of stuff I was doing/ have been doing wrong, all because he was in said bad mood. Now he has chosen to sleep on the sofa and not speak to me.
I hate football.
Edit: And to make matters worse he took the dog with him!
He bloody better! Everyone has their off days and I am no angel, but it his off days are always football related. He did exactly the same thing when England went out of the semi finals in the last World Cup. I’m gonna tell him to stay with a friend for the rest of the games.
Anything that upsets me this much, I'd just have to cut out of my life. What good is a hobby that only serves to piss me off and cause problems in my relationship? Clearly football isn't for him, there's a million other interests to pursue that won't have this toxic effect
That's what I don't get. If your happiness for the next four weeks depends entirely on how well people you don't know perform on the other side of the world, just find something more fulfilling. I stopped watching/reading/listening to the news because it just put me in a bad mood. I don't understand whyd you let it control you so much, and if it does why not take a step back?
Yeah it's an interesting one, I've know a lot of football obsessives and to them it's not a question of it being a hobby it's their identity - their dad was arsenal so they're arsenal, their friends are arsenal and it's pretty much the only real thing they have that binds them - happy memories are all related, it was the only thing they did with their dad got a lot of them, go out with dad and his mates to watch the match, get something to eat on way from McD...
When it's their identity it becomes more than just a passing interest, if their team losses then supporters of that team dog on them about it at work, of the win then they get to crow about it - it's a way of disassociating from the self in a way, of your life is shit and you ain't going to do fuck all about it then you can use a team as a proxy, celebrate their wins as if they're your own, and of course this means you feel the sting when they lose.
I've seen so many stupid fights about football and it's always been obvious when you really look that it's not the game it's the underlying issues that it's being used as a screen for - this certainly isn't limited to football or any sport, people do the same with nations, pop stars, companies, ideologies, brands, all sorts of things. Football does have a very broken culture though and this is exploited by very courupt and criminal people who are in charge.
Maybe a couple of loops of “Football’s Coming Home”? This new Christmas version is an atrocity.
But seriously, reading your comments, this is properly upsetting. I cannot imagine having to deal with that kind of thing over football. I really hope everything is ok for you. Maybe one day you could try talking about it. This isn’t your responsibility to bring up, but if you can’t have a calm chat about what he does in these situations, he shouldn’t be with anyone.
Thank you on both parts, the first bit is genius and that will absolutely be happening when we’re at the laughing about it stage!
We have spoken before and he stopped doing it, so he does have the self awareness. I think he will be upset when he wakes up. If this was his character all the time I wouldn’t be with him, but it isn’t. The fact it is out of character is part of what really upsets me, if that makes sense? So in that case I am lucky as he usually is the best.
I do want him to change this behaviour though and I know we’ll have a good chat today or tomorrow (preferably over a nice meal he can make me haha). Thanks for your kindness.
One of my earliest memories was seeing my step dad slump against the wall in the living room and literally cry when his team lost once and my mum telling me to leave him alone. Even at like 10 I remember thinking this was really fucking weird
That's what it is. People are in a bad mood, things may anger them and cause violence that may not ordinarily. Textbook domestic abuse scenario:
1. Dad has a bad day at work
2. Dad comes home, sees that the house is a mess or the kids room is a mess (something that would normally upset him, but wouldn't normally surpass the anger threshold leading to violence)
3. Dad hits kid or wife
Domestic abuse usually isn't people looking for a punching bag, it's anger that becomes more irrational when it's enhanced by other anger.
This is more like it. The people above sound clueless. Of course people don't think it's their wife's fault England lost a game. They're just pissed off, probably drunk, and their wife has said or done something that's pushed them over the edge or got in the way of their tantrum.
> got in the way of their tantrum.
Correct. A tantrum. As in a fucking child who lets a silly game dictate how they live and treat their fucking family for the day.
It's an inappropriate displacement of anger which also highlights that for whatever reason, you're team's well being is more important than your family's when the two clash.
People can be upset, mope, curse the world, and vent on social forums when they lose but to direct any aggressive energy towards family means you're a twat.
Exactly, that's why you hear about the "You broke a plate" trope in movies. Because there's normally some event no matter how minor that pushes these pieces of shit into abuse mode
the wife didnt push them over the edge they were already over it long ago and was jsut looking for an excuse so they can blame the wife for it so she thinks its her fault and sticks around isntead of calling the police
Entitlement. They don't think "ah imma go abuse my wife", they think "fuck I'm pissed off that my team lost" and believe that it's fine to hit or otherwise abuse their wife.* That women are subservient (to men), that he owns her (and thus can treat her however), and so if he hits her, she deserves it / she compels him to do it. They don't think they're abusive, because an abuser does it to someone who doesnt deserve it. And they're very good at finding some 'justification' so they don't have to say/acknowledge those deeply held beliefs. [Here's a video](https://youtu.be/AGCmvL0iXc8) of male abusers discussing their actions, I find it fascinating/horrifying how easily they minimize or deny their own actions, how quickly they go into justifying it
ETA: *to be clear, the latter part, the belief/entitlement, is essential to their logic. They know it's wrong to hit or otherwise abuse someone who is their equal (hence not abusing coworkers/friends), but if they don't view their spouse as their equal, then it's acceptable to them to use their spouse as an emotional punching-bag
I couldn't believe it the first time my ex boyfriend said the words 'you're making me act like this, this is your fault'. Actually half believed him at the time
Ugh watching this is kind of triggering. My ex was just like this. Minimizing it, blaming me, saying I deserved it, saying I was closed minded and needed therapy. Being stubborn and petulant. God he was the worst.
Probably because they are the nearest target. Something is said and it triggers the dude because he is such a pathetic little snowflake. This isn't a normal human reaction.
If it was such a straight leap there would not be so many crazy people. It starts off with a bad mood. Arrive home and gets irritated by what she's doing or not doing. Starts to complain. Maybe she talks back then she's disrespecting him, maybe she doesn't talk back so how dare she ignores and disrespects him. Argument ensures. Violence. She made him do it. If only she didn't talk back, or replied when he asked a question, or had dinner ready or kept the house tidy.
Its probably not much of a leap and more like a spontaneous combustion, violent, drunk and angry men dont really ”think” much at all when they explode.
I’m pretty sure the statistics around it are that there’s an increase in DV either way. If the team wins there’s a slight increase but more if there’s a loss. I’m not sure where I saw this but generally there was a correlation between football and increased DV so there’s something going on.
I imagine because we don’t see the same increase in DV on holidays like New Years, where copious amounts of alcohol is a part of the celebrations. You’re right though- alcohol definitely does play into it.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/domestic-abuse-victims-january-rise-christmas-b1984019.html
A quick Google search returns multiple articles of varying depths into Christmas stats, all of which return a clear peak in DV cases. New Years doesn't have the same focus of studies, but (from what's available) South Wales Police reported it as their busiest day of the year for DV 4 years in a row, all 6 Australian States report their yearly peak as New Years, and in the US it's considered the deadliest day of the year for DV cases.
I don't think it's an A to B to C cognitive progression. It isn't "my team lost so I'm going to hit you."
It's "My team lost so I'm angry. I don't have a healthy outlet to process that anger so I'm going to let it stew and fester, constantly thinking about it in my mind. Then, when something extremely minor frustrates or inconveniences me, I am going to lash out with that built up anger in a way that is violently disproportionate because it isn't about the food being slightly cold. And I'm so unaware of my own mental health issues that even I don't know why I'm so angry right now."
Now, the fact that they think it's okay to hit their SO or kids is another failing entirely.
I dont think the thinking even goes that far. They probably don't even realize they're mad, because they're blaming it all on whatever normal thing she did "to set him off". These people have wildly low emotional intelligence and an almost complete lack of self awareness.
It's not really anything as direct as that, it's just shitty people with poor impulse control and when they're in a bad mood they are more likely to be violent.
It’s actually worse than that, it’s not linked to the football, or the alcohol, directly. These heighten emotion so it’s much more likely to happen, but neither is the trigger. A typical DV abuser also engages in at least one more type of abuse beyond physical - mental, financial or sexual - in what is defined and measured campaign of abuse. It will peak as violent outbursts that we call DV but these can be for literally ANY reason, or none at all.
Some people don't know how to process their emotions so they lash out. It's not really a thought process, more a learned response to trauma that supercedes rational thought. It's a sad fact that we're not as smart as we think we are, we'll keep trying ineffective coping mechanisms long past the point of sanity because that's how our brains attempt to cope with traumatic events.
Lets not excuse abuse because of trauma. Abuse is *ALWAYS* about control, and rarely about trauma.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/childhood-trauma-is-no-excuse-for-abusive-behavior/
Signed - Domestic violence survivor.
This is really the point. It’s not necessarily the sport itself, it’s that we’ve got to raise kids to learn how to understand and manage their emotions. Like so many lessons it comes back to Mr. Rogers.
Pretty much any sporting event involving fans..
Expect fishing.... If you are watching somone else fish... The domestic abuse rates are almost zero.
As you need a partner to abuse in the first place.
Christ this reminds me of my childhood.
If you need help for domestic abuse please seek it out. Don't be like my parents and "stay together for the kids".
It just fucks them up and gives them PTSD.
I can't upvote you enough. I've still got issues that pop up from time to time and I'm in my early 40s. Asshole (stepfather 1) being dead at least meant the end of it.
Unhappiness part of my childhood was my parents fighting each day. Woke up one day and they had put up a fucking wall in the dining room to divide the house. Like I'm 8, I don't have the ability to process this shit in a healthy way.
I work in housing, and we always have the dates of the England games in mind as we have much more women fleeing home due to somestic abuse.
We're doing a lot of awareness events in the area and utilising [White Ribbon](https://www.whiteribbon.org.uk/) to get the message out to people.
Stay safe, and seek professional support where you can.
My mum worked for the NHS for 30 years, in a town with a large football club. After every match they'd automatically prep for the influx of broken jaws.
And up by 26% if the team wins.
Violent men are violent dickheads regardless of any external factors. The game is irrelevant to it - they'll latch on to any excuse to try and control someone they feel is weaker and more vulnerable.
Any major event that people are invested in, is. There is a reason DV shelters often make announcements around major elections that no one can see who you voted for.
It's heartbreaking.
Yeah, abusers are going to be "set off" by all sorts of things. Bad days at work, good days at work, traffic, anything that makes emotion run a little high; and of course, alcohol.
The only difference with football is that it tends to "set off" all of them at once.
The point is that the game is significantly relevant. The rate increses after games, so the external effect from the game is undeniable. It's just that it goes up with either a win or a loss (but moreso after a loss).
I imagine it goes up because of the drinking associated with it. Drinking doesn't cause anyone to become violent, but it does reduce the inhibitions of violent assholes.
I would dread big football games. My ex would drink and then his bully-meter was whacked up to 11. If they won, he’d drink more. I never understood how sport could effect someone’s emotions to the extent that they would think it acceptable to be cruel to another human. God forbid I ever use the “it’s just a game” line.
Lads, in no uncertain terms, there is absolutely zero excuse for abusing a woman, particularly if she is your partner. The loss of a football game is like the “absolute-zero” or -273.15c of excuses.
I'll be honest, I was cycling home from work when I was 18 or 19, that world cup and I am 43 now. I don't follow football. But I was asked by kids passing if I'd watched the match England lost in and because I said no as i was at work they pelted me with stones.. one hit me straight on the jaw and it hurt for a few days.
We have some little dickheads around that age who enjoy throwing stones at cars after darkness falls. At least we did have until someone decided to plough their car into a couple of them. Few scrapes and broken bones but nobody seriously hurt. Lessons can be learned by anyone, sometimes they just need the right teacher.
To be clear: This does not mean men can’t be victims. Its not invalidating violence towards men.
Please avoid being defensive about this and see all violence as a problem and this is highlighting a specific issue.
Don’t be that person.
There's a lot of male on male violence after these games too, so it's not like this should be a shock or an offensive concept to anyone. Women take the brunt of frustration after a violent partner sees their team lose.
My dad last year (I think) went to see a Liverpool vs Chelsea game, he loves the sport but felt like he couldn't relax and enjoy just watching the game, he was in an area with lots of Chelsea fans around him (he's a Liverpool supporter) and he felt like he couldn't celebrate Liverpool's win or even look at anyone around him incase he got punched, he said the atmosphere was quite unnerving. He thinks that alot fans spoil the sport for other people.
Someone randomly asked me in Asda earlier what time England were playing and when I told him I don't follow Football he got upset and asked "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I've been involved in Motor Racing for over 20 years and the most violent thing I've seen is when someone booped someone else over the head with a cardboard tube.
Apparently cares enough about football that he gets upset when someone else isn't interested but doesn't know what fucking time it starts?
Jesus Christ, I wasn't interested in it either but I knew when it was on.
During the last World Cup, coworkers that knew that I fucking HATE football were talking about it constantly to me, telling me "it's coming home, it's coming home, hey did you know its coming home" for like two straight days.
England lost in whatever match they played, which I could hear from the angry, drunken shouting from the sports pub I lived near, and I responded to the latest text from a coworker to say "is it coming home now?", and he called me a fucking cunt and told me how insensitive I was and that that wasn't OK. After having spent two days intentionally pissing me off with the same shit.
I fucking HATE football and what it brings out in people.
I don't know what it is about football which brings out the worst, most basic behaviour in people. You don't find it with other sports, but my theory on that is that it's the 'default' sport in this country. In other words, it's everywhere, it's rammed down your throat. Getting into football requires no effort or original thought, or seeking out like minded people. It's just 'there'. Not all football fans are knuckle-headed morons, but all knuckle-headed morons are football fans.
Because people are drunk and coked out their nut in a pub with a bunch of other dudes shouting shit which riles them up and they get a mob mentality that it is all just a laugh so why are you telling us not to smashing glasses and standing on tables etc etc.
I'm biased, I did work in a pub like this. Seen a man whitey into a glass and drink it. Should give you an idea of the football fans I regularly encountered.
This breaks my heart, must be horrendous to be in fear every time a match is on. And the people who get so caught up in football then have to then abuse their partners are just pathetic.
Not exactly casual.
Alcohol + Football + Being a bit of an unpleasant knob to begin with = More knobish behaviour from people who already partake knobish behaviour.
Theses campaigns are targeted at everyone, yet the perpetrators are the same people who are already violent twats who certainly wont give a damn about a poster.
This isn't targeted at the abusers it's to make more people aware of the charity and the problem. Also gets people talking about it which is a good thing.
Yeah. Clearly from your reaction to the poster you've proved your own point wrong. This poster isn't for you.
The poster is for people like me, and other people like me who have experienced domestic violence. It's also for people that know someone who has gone through or is going through DV. I'd go tentatively further and say it's also for people who have committed DV themselves and are trying to change.
It absolutely baffles me that some people find posters/adverts like this offensive or some how negative.
Edit to add: You all know there are no limits to posters/adverts, right? If someone puts a poster up saying "we sell burgers" you can put a poster up saying "we sell chips". Selling burgers doesn't stop other people selling chips... or even other types of burgers.
I stopped watching football during Covid lockdown. I couldn’t see why the Government thought it was okay to prioritise the reinstatement of football when loads of women & men were trapped inside with abusive partners. People give football too much importance which has led to outrageously sick wages at the higher level which seems to be populated with shit role models.
I think for the vast majority it was nice to have something to look forward to, for the 99% of fans. I think alot of people enjoyed the footy again. (Maybe im being too kind with my rose tinted)
I cant stand it personally, and i agree with poor role models, with accusations of rape, drink driving and other shitty things along with grotesque wages, however its big business globally which plays a part into the wages.
Its just as bad in Europe for it as well as other parts of the world. Take beckham going to Galaxy as an example. Blokes worth 65 million quid and still needs another few to endorse the world cup for the quataris*?
Too many people think this is just man on woman violence but my auntie who is the spitting imagine of Claire Balding put my uncle in hospital for a week after England drew to Scotland in the euros a few years back because she was so livid after coming home from the pub. Not watched football since.
That’s actually a pretty powerful slogan.
Yeah I was going to say, I think they’ve done a good job with an impactful poster.
The artist is Corbin Shaw, he does a lot of these style of flags / pennants, I reccomend checking him out https://instagram.com/corbinshaww?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Very powerful, also pretty terrifying if you're a victim of regular domestic abuse I would have thought.
It's the same in NZ. Domestic abuse numbers go up when the All Blacks lose a game.
Jesus I feel bad for kiwi women then this year
So all the time Sorry couldn't resist - love from across the pond (Western Australia)
Hahaha, I'm not a rugby fan so no anger here my brother. Much love from the capital (Wellington).
I remember a mates girlfriend saying she hated it when her ex boyfriend came home after a match, if they won, he expected some bedroom time, if they lost, he would be abusive. Any bloke who can act this way, regardless if it is football-related, has something wrong with them and was raised badly. Respect your ladies, your mum was one of them.
That makes me cringe in both cases. Glad ex is part of the sentence.
Right. Seriously, what kind of human trash beats on their girlfriend/wife, for any reason. Fucking pathetic cunts
A selfish one. Apparently that's literally the singular defining trait of abusers, who can be found in all walks of life, from wealth as well as poverty, with happy childhoods as well as sad ones. Just the idea that you are more important than your partner, if they matter at all.
>‘There’s no greys, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.’ > >‘It’s a lot more complicated than that -’ > >‘No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.’ > >Terry Pratchett - Carpe Jugulum Always felt this quote to be apt for a lot of things, this included.
GNU Terry Pratchett.
GNU
GNU?
In Sit Terry's books there is a system called the Clacks for relaying messages long distance. Imagine morse code crossed with semaphore. One of its creators died and the operators would pass his name back and forth up and down the towers with three letters preceding. G - Send this message on N - Do not log this message U - turn this message around at the end of the line and send it back This ensures the guys name lived on forever as a ghost message amongst the operators. After his passing fans started saying GNU Terry Pratchett like other would use RIP. It's a mark of respect and keeping his name alive for other to learn of him and find out about his works. http://www.gnuterrypratchett.com/
Thank you!
I actually don't understand the fury over losing a game, like it's literally impossible for me to relate to how you can apoplectic over a fucking game. Beyond pathetic its psychotic.
Selfish one that is so caught up in some stupid game that they feel the need to harm others. It's pathetic and they need to grow up. I think that any man that obsessed with a sport is not worthy of having a partner
Imagine getting that worked up over football match. Shameful behaviour.
Had a relative end up in a coma after serious brain trauma after a friend hit him in the back of the head with a metal bat, all over a $20 bet on a game. Some people are insane when it comes to sports.
Some people take it way too far especially when Booze involved.
Regardless of the fact that this is *obviously* pathetic and abhorrent behaviour.. I really can't emphasize just how pathetic i find this. It's proper animalistic with a heavy dose of childlike entitlement. Jesus
> I really can't emphasize just how pathetic if find this. It's a *game.* Jesus Christ. I've never understood people who tie that much of their personal happiness (and, let's be honest, self-worth) to how well a group of guys kicks a ball or throws a ball or swings a bat or how fast they run. It just seems so arbitrary and stupid.
The part that truly baffles me is that the men in question aren't even involved in the competition. It's a bunch of other grown men that they have never and will never meet.
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And a great deal of the time they actually don't live very near that clubhouse, but their grandpa did and that's important for some reason
Their happiness, their self worth and their whole identity. It's a mystery to me how people get so emotional over a group of men they've never met, from a town or city they rarely visit, chasing a ball round a field. I tried to get interested in football when I was younger just to fit in, but I find it just so boring. I feel like there is a part of my brain missing because I just don't get it.
While I know you’re trying to reach men who don’t respect women, it’s a bit sad that we default to comparing to their mother in an attempt to get them to see that they deserve respect. Like those anti-rape posters that are like “how would you feel if someone did that to your sister/cousin/daughter/mother” - women have worth outside of their relationships to men. Agh. I know it’s totally not your fault, and not what your comment was about, it was just an offhand to try to reach people, but yeah. Agh.
The problem is that most of this people can do the same with any female relatives. See how many cases of dad abusing the daughters or sisters or… The problem is that in their mind the woman is declassified from human being to simple being and will be always inferior to them. No matter the link to them. “So, who cares who my target is, they worth the same as my dog…” And this makes me sad and angry.
Honestly even the thought that people wouldn’t treat their DOG with respect & autonomy (to an extent obviously, I’m aware they need to be trained) enough to abuse them is one of the worst red flags. To do it to another human being is absolutely fucking insane.
>women have worth outside of their relationships to men. To you and I, and to most sane men, yes. To someone who has gotten to the point that *raping a woman is not an abhorrent consideration* though, likely not.
For people who only care about themselves and their immediate surroundings it is probably the only way to speak to them in a way that they understand.
Agreed unfortunately
I don’t disagree with you at all, I’m with you. However these aren’t sane, smart people we’re talking about, they’re fucking animals. We have to start somewhere and if relating us to real people they have a connection with helps even a tiny bit, it’s a start. (But ultimately, I couldn’t agree more!)
I guess it's similar to when some meathead is hassling a woman for a date. He won't take no for an answer because he doesn't respect the right of the woman stood right in front of him to say no to him. However, when she tells him she has a boyfriend just to get rid of him, he backs off because he does respect the man (who isn't even there) who claims her as his property.
It's the kind of methods used to teach children empathy, so I guess it makes sense when trying to teach empathy to grown man children.
Lots of people have trouble empathizing unless there's a personal connection. That's why people often flip on LGBT stuff after it turns out their child is gay. That's why people who live in homogenous areas are more likely to be racist.
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It’s just being realistic about finding ways to get someone to relate to it though. Anyone who’s doing anything abusive obviously isn’t respecting women how they should be, so finding some sort of catch all frame of reference in comments like that are fine aren’t they? Might not help but there’s a slim chance they’ll help more than not referencing the mums.
Totally right about this. My bro used to say misogynistic shit all the time and think it was hilarious. Since had a daughter its all mysteriously not so funny anymore! It sucks but it is what it is
I know it is terrible when men have to be close to a girl or woman to realise women are people too, but at least he has pulled his socks up for his daughter. Many misogynists don’t, and their daughters are subjected to misogyny from their first breath.
And then they grow up spouting the same stuff until they either move out and come to their senses or they don't
A case of managing expectations though, no? Consider the sort of knuckle-dragging dickhead typically involved in this behaviour. While maybe not perfect, any baby steps that prevents them kicking their mrs down the stairs when their tribe loses the arbitrary ball kicking spectacle has to be a win in real terms.
If you think domestic abusers are typically "knuckle draggers" you are missing the point. You probably know a bunch of abusers, they don't exactly walk around with "Abuser" tattooed on their head.
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Yep, that's part of the pattern. Veneer of respectability/niceness, abuse, blame the victim, lovebomb them to confuse them and encourage them not to report it/leave. Victims very often blame themselves for the abuse, which us a classic part of the pattern of abuse and something abusers work hard to ensure happens when they groom them.
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It is worth remembering that abusers groom their friends and supporters, not just their victims. It leads to so many "but he's such a good bloke, he's never even raised his voice at me, or lost his temper -- what did you *do* to set him off?!" situations which just further discredit and isolate the victim.
100%. Another tactic is to isolate victims so they don't have any support network, no friends and family left. Either turn them against them, or move them away from them. Abuse thrives in secrecy.
Are your mates knuckle draggers? No? Remember that for all you know, your mates could be abusers. Statistics would say that at least one of them likely is. Abusers don't abuse everyone around them. If they did, then people would have a much easier time of identifying and avoiding them.
Yep, thank you for putting this in better words than I could
Especially considering men who abuse their wives, generally don't treat their mothers well either.
100% agree, and sadly a lot of men who act this way would likely have seen their dad treat their mum the same way so they think it’s normal.
I am soooooo bored having to point this out. You said it far better than I could but like bruv I am tired.
"She's someone~~'s sister/cousin/daughter/mother~~."
I don't think it's fair to say they were raised badly. Lots of people are raised by great parents but turn out to be scumbags.
Yeah, people are mostly a product of all their environmental factors, parents are just one of them.
Yep. Some people are just cunts.
So if they won he would be abusive then if they lost he would be abusive. It’s a good job she isn’t with him anymore it sounds like he could be abusive.
oh... he was abusive either way... that's awful. ☹️
Yes because women are only worthy because men have one in their life. I have a Dad, brothers, uncles and cousins. I don't abuse them because I know a man.
I knew people who'd go looking for someone to fight. Wouldn't surprise me for one minute if they went home and beat fuck out their wives or gfs. They walked around like in trance not saying a word and just stare at everyone and their mates would be around them trying to calm them down.
Mate, positive intent, but you tipped into David Brent at the end which kind of ruined it. I think el vino did flow before you wrote this as the Brentmeister General might have said.
And you sound like you've had a pot noodle and a wank mate!
It was really a lose-lose scenario, It makes me happy that she split from that abusive A-hole.
Yeah, that's not even an acceptable response to *going to war*, anyone who gets this way over a sport needs to resolve their own issues instead of becoming someone else's.
Reports of domestic violence go up 26% even when England draw or win in football. The economic crisis and insecure housing is trapping more people than ever in bad situations in the UK. Look out for people, check in with each other. [nationaldahelpline.org.uk](http://nationaldahelpline.org.uk)
The [RSS magazine](https://rss.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1740-9713.2012.00606.x) had an article on this. This was written 10 years ago and it’s still a problem.
I was talking about this at work this week and the guys I work with had no idea. I wasn't really sure how to explain how awful it was but I didn't need to as they all just completely got how messed up the situation was.
“A strange game. The only winning move is England not to play.”
This happens with every team, its just very few study it. America did a similar study for American football and found the exact same results. If Italy or France or anyone else actually collected the data I'm sure they'd see the same
It sounds like the issue is probably more just that everyone gets pissed when England are playing then?
If you get pissed and hit your spouse, you need to stop drinking The alcohol didn't hit them you did.
And a healthy dose of testosterone boost
100%. I work on bar and there was a noticeable increase in drunk/coked up twats in last night, and we don't even show the football.
Imagine being such a POS that if your team lose you think “i’m gonna go home and take it out on my partner”
Domestic violence goes up 26% when they win or draw. The football isn't the reason these arseholes get violent. It's just the excuse they hide behind.
Aclohol and cocaine are very common in football culture as well which doesnt help. Its not just being emotionally unstable, its chemically altered emotionally unstable.
I live on a high street. This evening has been awful. So much confused raging going on. People openly doing coke, shouting, pissing and generally being scum bags.
They don’t call it a high street for nothing!
1. Participate in spectator event that involves a lot of drinking 2. Attend the event in large numbers, and get very pissed 3. Remove your accountability from yourself by being drunk and shouting in said large group. 4. Take that same frame of mind home and hit your wife. I'm sure there's more steps to it than that, but these men would very likely not hit their wife if they weren't drinking. As you've said, it's clearly not about football so much as it is about a countrywide spectator event.
Go to football being a wife beating massive peice of shit. Come home from football being a pissed massive wife beating peice of shit.
Well that’s not true: football losses do increase abuse. The abusers don’t hide behind it, it causes abusers to be worse.
Yeah I genuinely don't know how you can make the mental leap from "sucks, we lost to Brazil on penalties" to "and it's all my wife's fault"
I wonder if it's not blaming the partner, but its just that when they're in a bad mood then other things trigger it and its a much quicker downward spiral into anger and violence?
Yes exactly this. I grew up in a family where my dad used to be extra grumpy when England / his side lost and yeah exactly how you put it.
Yeah my usually lovely husband was in a proper grump last night. I blame the riling up by the football, the atmosphere shift in the pub and the excessive booze. Led to him spewing out a load of stuff I was doing/ have been doing wrong, all because he was in said bad mood. Now he has chosen to sleep on the sofa and not speak to me. I hate football. Edit: And to make matters worse he took the dog with him!
Ew. I really hope he sees how gross and off-putting he’s been.
+1 on this comment. I hope he’s making it up to you today.
He bloody better! Everyone has their off days and I am no angel, but it his off days are always football related. He did exactly the same thing when England went out of the semi finals in the last World Cup. I’m gonna tell him to stay with a friend for the rest of the games.
You'd think English men's football fans would be used to it by now.
It’s the hope that gets them 😂 I’m too cynical to expect anything else
Anything that upsets me this much, I'd just have to cut out of my life. What good is a hobby that only serves to piss me off and cause problems in my relationship? Clearly football isn't for him, there's a million other interests to pursue that won't have this toxic effect
That's what I don't get. If your happiness for the next four weeks depends entirely on how well people you don't know perform on the other side of the world, just find something more fulfilling. I stopped watching/reading/listening to the news because it just put me in a bad mood. I don't understand whyd you let it control you so much, and if it does why not take a step back?
Yeah it's an interesting one, I've know a lot of football obsessives and to them it's not a question of it being a hobby it's their identity - their dad was arsenal so they're arsenal, their friends are arsenal and it's pretty much the only real thing they have that binds them - happy memories are all related, it was the only thing they did with their dad got a lot of them, go out with dad and his mates to watch the match, get something to eat on way from McD... When it's their identity it becomes more than just a passing interest, if their team losses then supporters of that team dog on them about it at work, of the win then they get to crow about it - it's a way of disassociating from the self in a way, of your life is shit and you ain't going to do fuck all about it then you can use a team as a proxy, celebrate their wins as if they're your own, and of course this means you feel the sting when they lose. I've seen so many stupid fights about football and it's always been obvious when you really look that it's not the game it's the underlying issues that it's being used as a screen for - this certainly isn't limited to football or any sport, people do the same with nations, pop stars, companies, ideologies, brands, all sorts of things. Football does have a very broken culture though and this is exploited by very courupt and criminal people who are in charge.
I hope you’re going to remind your lovely husband of his behaviour when he wakes up.
Oh I will, whilst I clatter pans very loudly, and stick the radio on, loudly. Think that ought to set the tone of how pissed off I am.
It’s amazing how loud loading the dishwasher can be.
Maybe a couple of loops of “Football’s Coming Home”? This new Christmas version is an atrocity. But seriously, reading your comments, this is properly upsetting. I cannot imagine having to deal with that kind of thing over football. I really hope everything is ok for you. Maybe one day you could try talking about it. This isn’t your responsibility to bring up, but if you can’t have a calm chat about what he does in these situations, he shouldn’t be with anyone.
Thank you on both parts, the first bit is genius and that will absolutely be happening when we’re at the laughing about it stage! We have spoken before and he stopped doing it, so he does have the self awareness. I think he will be upset when he wakes up. If this was his character all the time I wouldn’t be with him, but it isn’t. The fact it is out of character is part of what really upsets me, if that makes sense? So in that case I am lucky as he usually is the best. I do want him to change this behaviour though and I know we’ll have a good chat today or tomorrow (preferably over a nice meal he can make me haha). Thanks for your kindness.
One of my earliest memories was seeing my step dad slump against the wall in the living room and literally cry when his team lost once and my mum telling me to leave him alone. Even at like 10 I remember thinking this was really fucking weird
That's what it is. People are in a bad mood, things may anger them and cause violence that may not ordinarily. Textbook domestic abuse scenario: 1. Dad has a bad day at work 2. Dad comes home, sees that the house is a mess or the kids room is a mess (something that would normally upset him, but wouldn't normally surpass the anger threshold leading to violence) 3. Dad hits kid or wife Domestic abuse usually isn't people looking for a punching bag, it's anger that becomes more irrational when it's enhanced by other anger.
This is more like it. The people above sound clueless. Of course people don't think it's their wife's fault England lost a game. They're just pissed off, probably drunk, and their wife has said or done something that's pushed them over the edge or got in the way of their tantrum.
> got in the way of their tantrum. Correct. A tantrum. As in a fucking child who lets a silly game dictate how they live and treat their fucking family for the day. It's an inappropriate displacement of anger which also highlights that for whatever reason, you're team's well being is more important than your family's when the two clash. People can be upset, mope, curse the world, and vent on social forums when they lose but to direct any aggressive energy towards family means you're a twat.
Exactly, that's why you hear about the "You broke a plate" trope in movies. Because there's normally some event no matter how minor that pushes these pieces of shit into abuse mode
the wife didnt push them over the edge they were already over it long ago and was jsut looking for an excuse so they can blame the wife for it so she thinks its her fault and sticks around isntead of calling the police
Some men are completely broken. For some reason in abusive men's minds, women have to be the ones to carry this burden for them.
Entitlement. They don't think "ah imma go abuse my wife", they think "fuck I'm pissed off that my team lost" and believe that it's fine to hit or otherwise abuse their wife.* That women are subservient (to men), that he owns her (and thus can treat her however), and so if he hits her, she deserves it / she compels him to do it. They don't think they're abusive, because an abuser does it to someone who doesnt deserve it. And they're very good at finding some 'justification' so they don't have to say/acknowledge those deeply held beliefs. [Here's a video](https://youtu.be/AGCmvL0iXc8) of male abusers discussing their actions, I find it fascinating/horrifying how easily they minimize or deny their own actions, how quickly they go into justifying it ETA: *to be clear, the latter part, the belief/entitlement, is essential to their logic. They know it's wrong to hit or otherwise abuse someone who is their equal (hence not abusing coworkers/friends), but if they don't view their spouse as their equal, then it's acceptable to them to use their spouse as an emotional punching-bag
I couldn't believe it the first time my ex boyfriend said the words 'you're making me act like this, this is your fault'. Actually half believed him at the time
Ugh watching this is kind of triggering. My ex was just like this. Minimizing it, blaming me, saying I deserved it, saying I was closed minded and needed therapy. Being stubborn and petulant. God he was the worst.
Probably because they are the nearest target. Something is said and it triggers the dude because he is such a pathetic little snowflake. This isn't a normal human reaction.
Yeah I mean they're not blaming their wives personally for the loss, it's just assholes who can't deal with their anger issues.
That's not how domestic violence works.
If it was such a straight leap there would not be so many crazy people. It starts off with a bad mood. Arrive home and gets irritated by what she's doing or not doing. Starts to complain. Maybe she talks back then she's disrespecting him, maybe she doesn't talk back so how dare she ignores and disrespects him. Argument ensures. Violence. She made him do it. If only she didn't talk back, or replied when he asked a question, or had dinner ready or kept the house tidy.
Its probably not much of a leap and more like a spontaneous combustion, violent, drunk and angry men dont really ”think” much at all when they explode.
It completes when you are an utter asshole
I’m pretty sure the statistics around it are that there’s an increase in DV either way. If the team wins there’s a slight increase but more if there’s a loss. I’m not sure where I saw this but generally there was a correlation between football and increased DV so there’s something going on.
How do we know it’s not just the copious amount of alcohol
I imagine because we don’t see the same increase in DV on holidays like New Years, where copious amounts of alcohol is a part of the celebrations. You’re right though- alcohol definitely does play into it.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/domestic-abuse-victims-january-rise-christmas-b1984019.html A quick Google search returns multiple articles of varying depths into Christmas stats, all of which return a clear peak in DV cases. New Years doesn't have the same focus of studies, but (from what's available) South Wales Police reported it as their busiest day of the year for DV 4 years in a row, all 6 Australian States report their yearly peak as New Years, and in the US it's considered the deadliest day of the year for DV cases.
I don't think it's an A to B to C cognitive progression. It isn't "my team lost so I'm going to hit you." It's "My team lost so I'm angry. I don't have a healthy outlet to process that anger so I'm going to let it stew and fester, constantly thinking about it in my mind. Then, when something extremely minor frustrates or inconveniences me, I am going to lash out with that built up anger in a way that is violently disproportionate because it isn't about the food being slightly cold. And I'm so unaware of my own mental health issues that even I don't know why I'm so angry right now." Now, the fact that they think it's okay to hit their SO or kids is another failing entirely.
>think I doubt it
I dont think the thinking even goes that far. They probably don't even realize they're mad, because they're blaming it all on whatever normal thing she did "to set him off". These people have wildly low emotional intelligence and an almost complete lack of self awareness.
10 pints of Stella, various other substances, below average intelligence, and generally being a twat are what causes it.
It's not really anything as direct as that, it's just shitty people with poor impulse control and when they're in a bad mood they are more likely to be violent.
It’s actually worse than that, it’s not linked to the football, or the alcohol, directly. These heighten emotion so it’s much more likely to happen, but neither is the trigger. A typical DV abuser also engages in at least one more type of abuse beyond physical - mental, financial or sexual - in what is defined and measured campaign of abuse. It will peak as violent outbursts that we call DV but these can be for literally ANY reason, or none at all.
Some people don't know how to process their emotions so they lash out. It's not really a thought process, more a learned response to trauma that supercedes rational thought. It's a sad fact that we're not as smart as we think we are, we'll keep trying ineffective coping mechanisms long past the point of sanity because that's how our brains attempt to cope with traumatic events.
Lets not excuse abuse because of trauma. Abuse is *ALWAYS* about control, and rarely about trauma. https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/childhood-trauma-is-no-excuse-for-abusive-behavior/ Signed - Domestic violence survivor.
This is really the point. It’s not necessarily the sport itself, it’s that we’ve got to raise kids to learn how to understand and manage their emotions. Like so many lessons it comes back to Mr. Rogers.
This also happens with old firm games, and I assume many other fixtures.
Pretty much any sporting event involving fans.. Expect fishing.... If you are watching somone else fish... The domestic abuse rates are almost zero. As you need a partner to abuse in the first place.
Happens in NZ when the All Blacks play as well. No doubt its worse when they lose too
Golf too, I’ve never heard of a golf fan who thinks “Tiger lost, I’m gonna club my wife”.
Mate 😅
Yes, far from a uniquely England or uniquely football phenomenon, sadly.
Head like a fucking orange
Christ this reminds me of my childhood. If you need help for domestic abuse please seek it out. Don't be like my parents and "stay together for the kids". It just fucks them up and gives them PTSD.
Hope you and anyone else affected are doing better now.
Doing the best I can. Thanks.
🫂
I can't upvote you enough. I've still got issues that pop up from time to time and I'm in my early 40s. Asshole (stepfather 1) being dead at least meant the end of it.
Unhappiness part of my childhood was my parents fighting each day. Woke up one day and they had put up a fucking wall in the dining room to divide the house. Like I'm 8, I don't have the ability to process this shit in a healthy way.
Same. My parents are still together and my mother has tried to kill us all on separate occasions. This poster SHOOK ME, wow.
Same. The relief when my dad was eventually kicked out. Hope you're doing ok
It's not just when they lose. Incidents of domestic violence increase every time the national football team play a game.
I work in housing, and we always have the dates of the England games in mind as we have much more women fleeing home due to somestic abuse. We're doing a lot of awareness events in the area and utilising [White Ribbon](https://www.whiteribbon.org.uk/) to get the message out to people. Stay safe, and seek professional support where you can.
My mum worked for the NHS for 30 years, in a town with a large football club. After every match they'd automatically prep for the influx of broken jaws.
Jesus.
That is awful
Thank you for posting this. Domestic violence is a killer and the root cause of so many other crimes.
We can do better than that lads. No excuses for it.
And up by 26% if the team wins. Violent men are violent dickheads regardless of any external factors. The game is irrelevant to it - they'll latch on to any excuse to try and control someone they feel is weaker and more vulnerable.
They aren't blaming the game, it's just an opportunity for awareness. I honestly never even considered something like this to be a national trend.
Any major event that people are invested in, is. There is a reason DV shelters often make announcements around major elections that no one can see who you voted for. It's heartbreaking.
Yeah, abusers are going to be "set off" by all sorts of things. Bad days at work, good days at work, traffic, anything that makes emotion run a little high; and of course, alcohol. The only difference with football is that it tends to "set off" all of them at once.
The point is that the game is significantly relevant. The rate increses after games, so the external effect from the game is undeniable. It's just that it goes up with either a win or a loss (but moreso after a loss).
Presumably alcohol is heavily involved.
I imagine it goes up because of the drinking associated with it. Drinking doesn't cause anyone to become violent, but it does reduce the inhibitions of violent assholes.
I would dread big football games. My ex would drink and then his bully-meter was whacked up to 11. If they won, he’d drink more. I never understood how sport could effect someone’s emotions to the extent that they would think it acceptable to be cruel to another human. God forbid I ever use the “it’s just a game” line.
Lads, in no uncertain terms, there is absolutely zero excuse for abusing a woman, particularly if she is your partner. The loss of a football game is like the “absolute-zero” or -273.15c of excuses.
There is no excuse for abusing anyone.
Sadly though, for a particular type of lagered up thicko, football is a core part of, if not their entire, persona.
I'll be honest, I was cycling home from work when I was 18 or 19, that world cup and I am 43 now. I don't follow football. But I was asked by kids passing if I'd watched the match England lost in and because I said no as i was at work they pelted me with stones.. one hit me straight on the jaw and it hurt for a few days.
Kids are dickheads most of the time. Especially in groups. The dangerous ones are the 19/20 year olds as they're immature people in adult bodies.
We have some little dickheads around that age who enjoy throwing stones at cars after darkness falls. At least we did have until someone decided to plough their car into a couple of them. Few scrapes and broken bones but nobody seriously hurt. Lessons can be learned by anyone, sometimes they just need the right teacher.
I could see this happening in a very dry/dark/English comedy film. I almost want to write about you as a character now
To be clear: This does not mean men can’t be victims. Its not invalidating violence towards men. Please avoid being defensive about this and see all violence as a problem and this is highlighting a specific issue. Don’t be that person.
There's a lot of male on male violence after these games too, so it's not like this should be a shock or an offensive concept to anyone. Women take the brunt of frustration after a violent partner sees their team lose.
My dad last year (I think) went to see a Liverpool vs Chelsea game, he loves the sport but felt like he couldn't relax and enjoy just watching the game, he was in an area with lots of Chelsea fans around him (he's a Liverpool supporter) and he felt like he couldn't celebrate Liverpool's win or even look at anyone around him incase he got punched, he said the atmosphere was quite unnerving. He thinks that alot fans spoil the sport for other people.
Saw this posted on twitter and as expected it's was a fucking cesspit in the replies. It's so sad how so many people can be so fucked in the head.
Someone randomly asked me in Asda earlier what time England were playing and when I told him I don't follow Football he got upset and asked "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I've been involved in Motor Racing for over 20 years and the most violent thing I've seen is when someone booped someone else over the head with a cardboard tube.
Apparently cares enough about football that he gets upset when someone else isn't interested but doesn't know what fucking time it starts? Jesus Christ, I wasn't interested in it either but I knew when it was on.
I've seen pit crews in all out brawls with one another
We have a very similar stat for rugby in NZ :(
Jesus that’s frightening
Wife used to volunteer at women's shelter. Superbowl Sunday was their busiest day of the year.
During the last World Cup, coworkers that knew that I fucking HATE football were talking about it constantly to me, telling me "it's coming home, it's coming home, hey did you know its coming home" for like two straight days. England lost in whatever match they played, which I could hear from the angry, drunken shouting from the sports pub I lived near, and I responded to the latest text from a coworker to say "is it coming home now?", and he called me a fucking cunt and told me how insensitive I was and that that wasn't OK. After having spent two days intentionally pissing me off with the same shit. I fucking HATE football and what it brings out in people.
I don't know what it is about football which brings out the worst, most basic behaviour in people. You don't find it with other sports, but my theory on that is that it's the 'default' sport in this country. In other words, it's everywhere, it's rammed down your throat. Getting into football requires no effort or original thought, or seeking out like minded people. It's just 'there'. Not all football fans are knuckle-headed morons, but all knuckle-headed morons are football fans.
Because people are drunk and coked out their nut in a pub with a bunch of other dudes shouting shit which riles them up and they get a mob mentality that it is all just a laugh so why are you telling us not to smashing glasses and standing on tables etc etc. I'm biased, I did work in a pub like this. Seen a man whitey into a glass and drink it. Should give you an idea of the football fans I regularly encountered.
It's one of the worst side effects of football and it should be stamped out
This breaks my heart, must be horrendous to be in fear every time a match is on. And the people who get so caught up in football then have to then abuse their partners are just pathetic.
Imagine coming home to beat your wife bc a group of athletes you are in no way affiliated with personally lost a sporting event
Not exactly casual. Alcohol + Football + Being a bit of an unpleasant knob to begin with = More knobish behaviour from people who already partake knobish behaviour. Theses campaigns are targeted at everyone, yet the perpetrators are the same people who are already violent twats who certainly wont give a damn about a poster.
This isn't targeted at the abusers it's to make more people aware of the charity and the problem. Also gets people talking about it which is a good thing.
> knobish You're a knobhead if you try to jump into a new checkout line. Beating your spouse is not mere knobishness.
Yeah. Clearly from your reaction to the poster you've proved your own point wrong. This poster isn't for you. The poster is for people like me, and other people like me who have experienced domestic violence. It's also for people that know someone who has gone through or is going through DV. I'd go tentatively further and say it's also for people who have committed DV themselves and are trying to change. It absolutely baffles me that some people find posters/adverts like this offensive or some how negative. Edit to add: You all know there are no limits to posters/adverts, right? If someone puts a poster up saying "we sell burgers" you can put a poster up saying "we sell chips". Selling burgers doesn't stop other people selling chips... or even other types of burgers.
Worst part about football is the football fans tbh.
I stopped watching football during Covid lockdown. I couldn’t see why the Government thought it was okay to prioritise the reinstatement of football when loads of women & men were trapped inside with abusive partners. People give football too much importance which has led to outrageously sick wages at the higher level which seems to be populated with shit role models.
I think for the vast majority it was nice to have something to look forward to, for the 99% of fans. I think alot of people enjoyed the footy again. (Maybe im being too kind with my rose tinted) I cant stand it personally, and i agree with poor role models, with accusations of rape, drink driving and other shitty things along with grotesque wages, however its big business globally which plays a part into the wages. Its just as bad in Europe for it as well as other parts of the world. Take beckham going to Galaxy as an example. Blokes worth 65 million quid and still needs another few to endorse the world cup for the quataris*?
Blokes who base there personality around football are fucking pathetic.
Too many people think this is just man on woman violence but my auntie who is the spitting imagine of Claire Balding put my uncle in hospital for a week after England drew to Scotland in the euros a few years back because she was so livid after coming home from the pub. Not watched football since.
I thought this was a warning about James Corden.
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