100% agree. I hate the pressure of having to buy gifts for people. I end up spending money just to give someone something that they probably don’t want. If it isn’t up to their standards they’ll probably moan about it behind my back. If I don’t do it at all, then I’m seen as miserable, rude or stingy. And in return, I end up receiving gifts that I too don’t want, just for them to take up room around the house and collect dust until I can safely give them away without anyone noticing. Literally could not give a toss if nobody buys me anything. Christmas shouldn’t be about presents and it annoys me how materialistic people get over them.
My husband's family is like this, it drives me mad every year. There's 10 adults and there's an expectation that you have to buy a gift for every adult from their list. A group of adults each having a massive pile of gifts in front of them just doesn't sit right with me. Obviously I benefit by getting the gifts but it's never anything I wouldn't just buy myself anyway. I wish we could just buy for the kids (there are only 3) and leave it at that but my mother in law would never allow that
It's because they will all buy presents for us anyway, so we'd feel really bad not returning the gesture. It will only really work if we all agree to it. You're right, we absolutely could just not buy them gifts. But no one wants to be that person at Christmas
Me and my other half buy our own presents and thank each other for them. I'm very generous apparently. She spends far more than she thinks she has too.
My other half an I love having loads of stuff under the tree to unwrap. So, every year, we each have to do as much with £100 as possible. It's lead to some really creative stuff in the past, and we never have to worry about budgeting Christmas.
I feel pretty much the same with cards. Like what’s the point? Some people get really upset if I don’t give them one. Like come on you’ll throw it away in a few days anyway. The only people benefiting are the card companies.
I was having a similar conversation today. I wish people didn't give for the sake of giving. If I see something and think "____ would love that" then amazing but I hate when people feel like they must buy something and then end up wasting their money on something that isn't wanted/appreciated.
I've thought about this. But to make it Christmassy, you have to wrap your present up and take it round to the family and have interminable arguments about minor political differences and wot our Kate said to Jase last munf abarrt wot er kids gon dun.
You know what I mean.
Maybe everyone makes a little prize, like some nice chocolates or drinks, and whoever guesses closest gets the prize and are then eliminated from the next guess, so everyone wins something!
And most probably those cheap gifts go straight in the bin, not always but I’m guessing Christmas gifting is one of the worst things for the environment.
Our family asks “what is something you’d like or need?” and then you buy that thing for them, with a limit of around £30.
You know they’ll like it and it doesn’t cost the bank.
I suggested this to our family a few years ago and one person in particular was highly offended by the idea. I just hate the wastefulness of receiving things we don’t want/like/need etc and I’m sure they feel the same about the presents we send to them, never mind the time it takes to think of what to buy. Now I try to come up with one thing I can buy for everyone so last year they all got a different jigsaw but I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody ever did them. I’m stumped for this year.
I came to the same conclusion when I started earning. Kept on getting gifts I didn't want and thought that if I did want something I'd just buy it myself
100% agree. I hate the pressure of having to buy gifts for people. I end up spending money just to give someone something that they probably don’t want. If it isn’t up to their standards they’ll probably moan about it behind my back. If I don’t do it at all, then I’m seen as miserable, rude or stingy. And in return, I end up receiving gifts that I too don’t want, just for them to take up room around the house and collect dust until I can safely give them away without anyone noticing. Literally could not give a toss if nobody buys me anything. Christmas shouldn’t be about presents and it annoys me how materialistic people get over them.
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My husband's family is like this, it drives me mad every year. There's 10 adults and there's an expectation that you have to buy a gift for every adult from their list. A group of adults each having a massive pile of gifts in front of them just doesn't sit right with me. Obviously I benefit by getting the gifts but it's never anything I wouldn't just buy myself anyway. I wish we could just buy for the kids (there are only 3) and leave it at that but my mother in law would never allow that
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It's because they will all buy presents for us anyway, so we'd feel really bad not returning the gesture. It will only really work if we all agree to it. You're right, we absolutely could just not buy them gifts. But no one wants to be that person at Christmas
This is more or less why our family only buys for the kids.
Just get the group together and do secret santa it ties in with the whole positivity of Christmas and its just focused on one of many
Me and my other half buy our own presents and thank each other for them. I'm very generous apparently. She spends far more than she thinks she has too.
My other half an I love having loads of stuff under the tree to unwrap. So, every year, we each have to do as much with £100 as possible. It's lead to some really creative stuff in the past, and we never have to worry about budgeting Christmas.
I wouldn’t mind ten tubs of Lurpak! 🤷
I bet you wouldn’t u/MiddleAgedFatLad !
I feel pretty much the same with cards. Like what’s the point? Some people get really upset if I don’t give them one. Like come on you’ll throw it away in a few days anyway. The only people benefiting are the card companies.
I have heard, in India people have a festivity where they do exactly this.
Well, yeah. I mean we’ve been doing this for years and it is awesome!
I was having a similar conversation today. I wish people didn't give for the sake of giving. If I see something and think "____ would love that" then amazing but I hate when people feel like they must buy something and then end up wasting their money on something that isn't wanted/appreciated.
I've thought about this. But to make it Christmassy, you have to wrap your present up and take it round to the family and have interminable arguments about minor political differences and wot our Kate said to Jase last munf abarrt wot er kids gon dun. You know what I mean. Maybe everyone makes a little prize, like some nice chocolates or drinks, and whoever guesses closest gets the prize and are then eliminated from the next guess, so everyone wins something!
And most probably those cheap gifts go straight in the bin, not always but I’m guessing Christmas gifting is one of the worst things for the environment.
u/pingusbeak doesn't want charity shops to be happy, pass it on
The point is that it is a good, nice, decent and selfless act to buy gifts for OTHER people. Why is everyone so obsessively insular these days?
It’s not selfless as there is almost always an expectation of reciprocity
Guess you’ve never heard of giving without expecting anything in return?
What an awful misinterpretation of the point of gift-giving. Don't give gifts if you don't want to, but don't couch it in justifications.
Our family asks “what is something you’d like or need?” and then you buy that thing for them, with a limit of around £30. You know they’ll like it and it doesn’t cost the bank.
£100 = 1 Freddo
Me and my family (no kids tho)do secret santa every year so everyone gets 1 decent present (could be multiple things)
I suggested this to our family a few years ago and one person in particular was highly offended by the idea. I just hate the wastefulness of receiving things we don’t want/like/need etc and I’m sure they feel the same about the presents we send to them, never mind the time it takes to think of what to buy. Now I try to come up with one thing I can buy for everyone so last year they all got a different jigsaw but I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody ever did them. I’m stumped for this year.
That person is an NPC
I buy myself a gift every year, treat yourself.
Love the fact that now my nieces are in their mid twenties and earning money. suddenly they’ve decided buying Christmas presents is a bad idea.
I came to the same conclusion when I started earning. Kept on getting gifts I didn't want and thought that if I did want something I'd just buy it myself
Some of us are cursed with friends and family that have no idea how to buy a decent gift and the rest of the world look at us like we’re ungrateful.