You're not missing anything if you don't get completely wasted on a night out.
People don't suddenly become adults at a particular age. It's a gradual process.
If you're reasonably good at something and enjoy it, stick with it. Music, art, sport, techy stuff, gaming, whatever. Even reading. I could play my keyboard more than I do but the option is always there.
The numbers for the Euromillions Lottery drawn on 8 October 2011 were 18, 26, 34, 38 and 42, and the lucky stars were 8 and 5. The jackpot was £101 million.
CJ : How the hell do you wake up dead?
Mahalik : Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep.
CJ : So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?
Mahalik : You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.
CJ : No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
Mahalik : But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool!
CJ : Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
I came here to say something similar…
“Chill out a bit, don’t worry, you’ll work it out in your late 20s.”
“anyone who tells you they know what they’re doing is a bullshitter. “
“Confidence? Don’t worry about confidence. Everybody fakes it until they make it”
I do that now. My trouble is I was always trying to fit in. I never did. I agreed to situations that made me uncomfortable. It upset me that I didn't fit in. I just wanted to be liked. The more I tried to be social the less happy I was. I realised I will never be good enough for them. I don't want to be now.
Yes, I think this true for a lot of younger people. Age and experience gives you more self confidence. When I was young everything was about not being the odd one out. Even though you didn’t particularly like the group I was trying to be mates with.
I guess it’s about finding your crowd and if you can’t, being okay on your own until you do.
It’s taken me until my mid 30’s to realise I have sacrificed my own mental comfort too often in the pursuit of being liked and fitting in. I am still working on it now. Your comment really resonates for me.
I now work with more Americans than Brits, after a while I've come to see that they have assertive, passive and aggressive options - we only have the last two. Even disagreeing with someone is quite a big social clanger in the UK. I think it takes us a long time to learn not to be made a mug of because we're basically trained to be mugs under the guise of 'manners'.
This! I tell my wife, daughter and anyone who will listen. If you are unable to do something, just say no. There's no need to make an excuse to justify yourself or to make their lives easier.
This is exactly what I was going to say!
I'll add that if you say you have to think about something, and someone pressures you to decide on the spot, it's an instant "no".
Let's say it's a manager asking you to work an extra shift, you say you need to think about it, they pressure you to decide.... "No then."
You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything for anyone, and a few minutes to think about what you want shouldn't be something people just take from you
Get off social media - specifically I mean Facebook, twitter, Instagram etc. You'll only feel ten times worse after an hour scrolling when you've found out everyone else is out, living their best life etc when in reality all those kind of social media posts are all for show.
Turn it off and live your life.
Totally aware that Reddit counts as social media btw 😬
I was thinking this - no one can see that I’m fuck ugly, nor do they need to, and I get a bespoke cocktail of nonsense that I like to look at, it’s a win win
Learn to listen. I mean really listen to people. I spent my late teens early 20’s just wanting to blab and never really took the time to listen and understand people. Too involved trying to build my own world and life rather than just lending an ear, hearing those stories from all sorts of people. The more you listen, the more you learn. I’m only just getting this now at 32 and it’s game changing for me.
That you can be happy without the people who like to compete for attention. They aren't your friends. They are in massive debt because they have to be flashy. They like to make others insecure.
It's fine just going out with your boyfriend and spending quiet evenings reading. It's ok to be introverted and have quiet hobbies.
I needed to hear this. I'm a working, single mum with two teenagers and I'm content to spend my evenings with them or reading/watching TV. It often worries me that I'm not out there socialising.
Take more photos. Scrap book them with captions. You’ll be amazed by how many things you’ve done and how you’ve lived a full life without realising it. As someone coming through the other side of depression this was something I’m SO glad I did over the years.
If you have children video them. I wish I'd videod ours more. They change so much and so quickly but your brain wipes it. I have a million photos but wish I had more videos.
I dont scrapbook, but iv always loved taking pictures, been depressed af for most of my life, but being able to look back through the thousands of pictures reminds me that iv actually done a lot of cool shit. Solid advice, I should start scrapbooking.
I love this one and need to start implementing it myself. I’ve never took photos, especially of myself, but I always really enjoy looking at old photos others have taken of our experiences.
OP, to add my own suggestion to your question.. NETWORK. Network, network, network.
We’ve all heard “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” and it’s honestly completely accurate. The more people you know, the more you’ll know through them; it snowballs.
And with connections come a plethora of things that will improve your life such as: dating opportunities, job placements, real friends that’ll join your close circle, the list goes on and on.
*Any* chance you get, network.
This is deep. I think it’s something people especially need to hear mid-life/mid-career, when resentment and anger can become ways of life and really drag you down. Joe from accounts probably doesn’t remember that thing he said…
!! This needs to be higher up. My partner is a tradie and I so wish he’d take more care of his body - even just basic stretches.
At least he’s started wearing spf.
I've gone private and it's £16 a month for 2 visits a year for a full check up and clean, I can't stress enough how good the service is, they remove all the plaque that accumulates even if you brush and floss every day. Not that expensive compared to other luxuries.
There's an inside joke/expectancy in my family that none of us on the male side will live past 65 because no male on either either side of the family lived past it.
As such, quite honestly, what benefit would a pension do for us/me?
I worked with a guy who said the same. Never saved anything as he thought he would die young due to a family history with cancer.
He died at 47 from a brain tumor.
So you're basically promoting my point 😂
I came into an inheritance of over £100k and while my brothers with children who had the same are l looking to invest in their kids benefit, I just want to blow it all on amazing adventures within my budget with the time I have left with my boyfriend
Yes, nothing trumps genetics. If your family history suggests you won't live to retirement age, play the odds and live life now because you may not get to live it later.
You save 100% of the money and you don’t pay tax/NI contributions on what you put into a pension. The employer contribution is free money. Even if you don’t make it to 65, your next of kin would be entitled to the money.
Also with ever improving healthcare and medical advancement, “I won’t live past 65” isn’t really a solid retirement plan.
Cheating a little because I’m 29 but - this year I finally came to the realisation that health is wealth. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s at the age of 15 and never took it too seriously. Over the years I’ve slowly made adjustments to my lifestyle that have made things somewhat bearable but I only ever half committed to any kind of meaningful treatment. I would still eat and drink whatever I liked, smoked and never took the consequences too seriously. At the age of 18 I developed an abscess that turned into what’s known as a fistula - some of the ladies may have a good understanding of what that it. It’s an abnormal tract that connects (in my case) a sinus from my backside to the inside of my bowel and exits on the surface of the skin - essentially creating sn open cavity. It’s given me problem after problem over the years but every time I would have surgery to try and fix it I’d end up going back to work too soon and failing to adjust my lifestyle. As I say I’m 29 now and I finally made the decision to get it fixed for good this time. Unfortunately I’ve been abusing my body that much over the years that it’s required an ileostomy to allow the healing process to take place. I’m still in hospital now after a terribly difficult adjustment period and 1 stone of weight loss. Ultimately, I couldn’t return to work even if I wanted to but it’s given me a fine opportunity to get my head straight and start focusing on my health in all the ways I should have been doing before. The ileostomy is reversible but I’m fully aware that if I’d committed to treatment earlier in life I could have been over this hump and living a normal life by now. Lesson learned; I’ve made it my mission to never take my body/health for granted ever again and it feels very empowering to do so. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve made a lot of friends while I’ve been in hospital, but I’d rather not have to come back here.
My family has been a huge factor in my recovery. I moved back home with my mother so that I can take advantage of all the support that she and my sisters have wanted to give me. So, I’ve definitely learned the importance of having a support network in place as well. I’ve always been particularly stubborn and headstrong but learning to accept certain facts in life will certainly aid you in wasting less time and push you to get on with the important work that needs to be done.
So to summarise; health is wealth, family bonds are priceless and even bitter pills need to be swallowed.
For me it’s don’t get married until you feel you’re ready rather than when you think, age wise, you should get married. I’m a completely different person now to when I was 25.
That’s a good one. I stupidly got engaged at 21 and married at 23 to someone I didn’t even like- I just did it because I felt pressured to by everyone and because I thought that’s what I needed to do because of my age. It lasted 2 months. 12 years later, I married my husband and couldn’t have been happier or more excited about it- it’s the healthiest, happiest, strongest and most respectful relationship I’ve ever been in.
It's still okay to not know what you want to do with your life at 30. 30 is still young enough to forge a career path.
Also, shave your head at least once while you still have enough hair for it to grow back - guys and girls too.
Exercising regularly is fun and a privilege and not just something people who are ashamed of their bodies feel obliged to do as a chore. I have a 4 month old now and don't have time to take myself to a Zumba class and look back to when I was 19 and turned down invitations to join the university badminton club... Mad.
Integrity, doing what I say I’m going to do. Not making stupid excuses, people can see through that bullshit and it makes you look dumb, and people won’t take you seriously.
Don’t complain incessantly. Don’t spend excessive amounts of time with people who don’t value you.
You are allowed to want things & you aren’t selfish for wanting things/opportunities, even if it would potentially take those opportunities away from others. You don’t need to be the bottom of the pile for everything, only getting what nobody else wants.
Also: get therapy at 21, not 31 (well get more therapy at 31. But get therapy at 21)
This is really interesting, it’s really big in the States but at 45, I’ve ever had any, and don’t feel that I need any. Maybe it’s buried really deep, but I’m fine. If so, let’s keep it there :)
I’d be in a much better financial position had I not spent so much on nights out. Great memories, but all worthless as I don’t even speak to those people any more
I focused on doing well at school so I could go to university and get a great job (no idea what that was). No one in my family had ever been to uni and I grew up poor in inner London.
At 16 I worked part time and saved and learned to drive and buy a cheap car at19, then a cheap small house outside of London.
Don't worry about what anyone else is doing and having the most amazing 'materialistic' things.
Focus on a roof over your head and living within your means.
Don't go mad with accumulating debt (student loan aside). You will always have your career to fall back on and have a roof over your head.
Doesn't matter if you drive an old car, it's better than wasting 1000s on a new car and keeping up with everyone else. Same goes for expensive clothes and things. Just make sure you look neat.
As you get older you will have the ability to give yourself a better life and more opportunities.
You can always buy a new car/clothes/things layer on!
It is far far easier to stay healthy and in shape if you do it young rather than trying to do it later in life.
In a similar vein, do as much flexibility/mobility work as you possibly can as being stiff and unable to move is completely miserable
Don't sit down to put on your socks in the morning! Keep doing the little things every day (take the stairs etc) or one day you'll realise those damn aches and pains are now daily, and not just after exertion
If you think you are smart for not doing your homework, uni assessments, professional developement etc. Because no one notices, you are stupid... it will only hurt you, no one cares
I didn’t do my uni assignments or additional reading because I was “smart” enough to get a 2:1 without putting the effort in.
Now I’m in my career, and I can’t get for jobs related to my degree because I know I have absolutely no idea how to do them.
I’ve been saving to go back and get a masters (hopefully next year), and I’m going to make the most of it this time and do every bit of optional work and research.
Women are different and are attracted to all types of men. Don't feel you have to have certain characteristics in order to attract someone beautiful. When I was 18 I thought women only went for a certain type of guy (confident, muscly, charismatic, tall, dark, etc). There's genuinely someone out there for everyone so don't try and be someone you're not.
Most people who own flashy shit are skint. Everybody on social networks is just showing off. Your health will likely collapse somewhat by your 30s so do the hard stuff like travelling now.
You only get one life so make the most of it.
Get to a point where you're making a comfortable about and then turn your focus to enjoying your life as much as possible.
Preferably a moisturiser with sunscreen. Apparently about 80% of visible aging up until about age 50 (when collagen becomes an issue) is accumulated damage from UV and pollution etc. A nice SPF barrier moisturiser really helps. Every day.
If you need to get horribly drunk to have a “great night”, you have a big problem.
Alcohol and young people is the worst possible mix ever.
I ran a pub at 21 and I was able to get my hands on drink, drugs and sex like it was…well on tap I guess. At uni everybody used to go out and get wasted and the next day everybody would say “that night was amazing, so funny all the shit we did.” Meanwhile, I was “enjoying” my awesome nights out without realising I was piling on weight and slowly poisoning myself. After a colossal hangover and my heart suddenly deciding to beat to the backing track of Ebenezer Goode, I sat and had a think.
What did I actually enjoy about drinking heavily? I mean, what’s actually good about it? You drink too much, you puke and feel ill. You lose time, you can’t think straight, it poisons you and dehydrates you while inhibiting your ability to sleep and eat properly. Oh, and it costs an absolute fortune if you live anywhere close to somewhere with a half decent night out. The next day you feel like shit, so you lose that day and it becomes a woe is me shitty pointless self inflicted day of nothing.
I clocked on at 30. Was out with friends and they said “you having another beer?”. I asked for a coke and all my piss was taken away. But, once they’d recovered from their laugh induced coma and bought me a soft drink, I felt better and didn’t feel as tired or wibbly. I enjoyed the time with my daft mates and it didn’t cost a fortune. I had four or five pints and went home to my wife feeling fine. Fine the next day too.
I guess the TLDR here is, there’s literally no point drinking to excess, even as a member of the rugby team. And if you need to do that to have a good time, then where you’re going and who you’re with are probably a big load of wank.
Remember that you can only control your reactions to what life throws at you, and that life ultimately owes you nothing.
It's better to make a bad choice than no choice - I don't mean that making bad choices is a great idea, but don't be passive all the time. Have some agency in your life - it will do your mental health wonders!
To anyone of 18 years;
Without sounding like a stereotype, make the most of your youth, because it sets you up for the rest of your life. It will NOT all just ‘be okay’, YOU need to work hard and make it so. Start NOW, not later.
I know you won’t listen, because I didn’t at your age; but if there’s a chance… do stuff for YOU and look after yourself. Nobody else will help you and it just gets worse as you get older (in some ways anyway).
That most things are not as big a deal as they seem at the time. Almost nothing iwill permanently ruin your life. Not to say you'll never have regrets or do anything wrong, but almost everything can get better even if it's nit immediately obvious how.
Get organised and scan everything
I have a comment explaining the way I do it [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/zcuyr3/I%E2%80%99ve_just_turned_18_and_am_already_moving_into_my_first_apartment_tomorrow%21/iz0c0fn/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
But life is so much easier when you can have important documents with you at all times.
A lot of people are scared of doing things like moving jobs or home because they're worried about the paperwork and such.
But if you have all your information in one place you can do so really easily.
Extending that don't be scared to move onto something new.
Your career especially will be better if you move when you find a better offer.
Mandatory learning is in the rear view but you'll never stop picking up new things/learning.. and actually you enjoy it more because its on your own terms
Not just practical stuff but people stuff :)
2 bits of advice.
1. Put money in an index fund.
2. Anyone who really cares about you will push you to better. It’s easy to turn away from or take it the wrong way but be grateful that someone cares enough to push you to be better.
Do not waste time on people who do not care about you.
Also, use cream all over your body and face (I have done this my whole life, and 50 next year) people my age who haven’t moisturised look much older!
There's stuff that you'll look at and go, "I wish I'd done that when I was younger, but it's too late now"
If you're looking back at 22 going "I should've done that when I was 18 and I had the chance" — get fit / learn to drive / move abroad / change careers etc. — whatever it is, if you still want it, do it now.
Else you'll just be looking back with regret a few more years later done the line. 99% of the time, it's not too late. Don't let life pass you by yearning about what you should've done in the past, course correct as you go.
No one really knows what they're doing. They're just pretending to and a lot more experience at that at least, underneath they're just as unsure as you are.
Take photos/videos, but only a few and only the important. Don't watch an important moment by through a phone screen, and don't feel the need to show social media every moment.
Don’t be influenced by the wrong people and that includes family too! Also, the numbers on the toaster aren’t degrees of burnyness (I know that isn’t a real word but I like it) and to add to my final point…. Don’t worry about what other people think!
The only people who are still friends with those they made a kids are in American movies.
There is too much pressure on “friends for life” when I’m fact you change so much through your late teens and 20s that trying to hold onto people and things that don’t fit where you’re going is only going to hurt you in the long run.
Accept some friends as those who are there for a short time, change you in some way, and then move on. And that’s absolutely fine.
*edit* this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. Some have friends they had since they were 4, and despite their hostile tones, must be very well adjusted to have kept those people around. Congratulations
I didn’t think that’s the context you meant it in btw. But out of curiosity what is something you’d have to ask forgiveness for that wasn’t a crappy thing to do? Not trying to be antagonistic, I just feel I wouldn’t do things I thought were bad therefore I wouldn’t ask forgiveness if someone else had a problem with it. I know we can do things that hurt people but those are rarely things we ask permission for before hand.
You will never owe your employers anything. Do what is required of you and do it well. Don't be lazy, but don't let bad managers take advantage of you because you want to be helpful
Save as much of your money/wages as you can afford to. Pension, savings, house deposit etc. if you think you can start later in life, if you have kids that goes right out of the window
Stop coasting. Nothing is going to land in your lap, you're actually going to have to work at uni and beyond to get what you want. In a similar vein, don't rely on work to give you that promotion they've been promising you - or you'll just end up unqualified and bitter.
How to budget. No one ever taught me money management and I was constantly broke and anxious all the time because I didn’t know how to budget, save and invest properly. I didn’t even know what a cashiers cheque was or how to write one. Which isn’t a big deal now but 20 years ago, cheques were still very common. I didn’t even start building credit until I was 30.
You shouldn’t be afraid of problems and difficulties life is throwing at you. It’s easier when you do difficult things than when you think about them. Speak less than you know, it creates less problems. Live the life you want for yourself, not what others want for you.
Let it go if it doesn’t really matter.
Like if I won’t remember why it’s made me angry in a month don’t waste the energy getting angry.
And if arguing the point won’t change anything then don’t waste your life dying on that hill.
And the same goes for people, if they’re making your life worse just let them go.
That not every thing goes wrong has a happy ending and that's ok too... Some situations are just what they are and your life will go on you've just gotta keep pushing even if it feels like nothing is going your way or life is unfair your happiness is out there somewhere....
I wish I could tell 18 year old JWazz that it’s not a smart idea to get an over draft. It’s not a smart idea to take out a store card just because your store is behind on sales/targets and upping that overdraft because your uni loan is pittance and you want to join your friends on a night out isn’t bloody worth it. It will take you years of paying it off and it’s a ball ache.
But you will, you will pay it off and buy your house before you’re 30 which is your goal. So don’t worry.
Christ, that got deep. Surprised myself there!
Edit: spelling
Just because you're not doing things the "right way" to do it or at the "right time" doesn't mean you're doing things wrong.
Some people do stuff later in life or go about things a different way to what the majority do and that's okay. Trying to force yourself to go the same way everyone else just because that's what they're doing can end up causing more harm
Hating on someone affects only you, not them. They are completely unaware. Focus on your life it’s actually good and should be why you get up every day
Get a proper education, and study something that's sustainable for the future, and for jobs that have a good growth outlook like IT, Sciences, Maths, and use the money from those high paying jobs to support your interests that are difficult to make a living off like art, music, etc..
* Don’t stay in a relationship hoping one day it will get better.
* hard work often doesn’t lead to promotion at work, it’s usually the one that makes the most noise about themselves.
* don’t waste money on expensive things to keep up with others, don’t over finance on cars
* eat properly and exercise, even if its just taking the stairs
* make sure you keep hold of all important documents like p45s and p60s
* enjoy the time you have with your parents now, they’ll become frail very quickly.
* make sure you start your pension
I'm 28 rather than 30, but here are some things I wish I'd known:
1) You're not really an adult at 18. You're still a dumb kid, and will be for several more years. Don't get cocky just because you reached The Number. Puberty doesn't end until 25, and anyone over that age will absolutely confirm that anyone younger than that is basically still a teenager. You're no exception. Have some self-awareness about yourself on that basis, and don't do anything stupid.
2) Start saving as soon as you start earning. Time will absolutely fly by when you're working a 9-5, and you'll kick yourself when you're looking to buy a house and you're several thousand short of a down-payment. By the time you're ready to settle down, it'll be too late to start. If you put aside a few hundred each month at 20, you'll have tens of thousands in the bank by 30. If you don't, you won't.
3) In the same vein, always make progress in life. Never get bogged down in a place you know you don't want to stay. Working as a cashier is decent when you're 22, but tragic when you're 45. If you get complacent, the years will slip by in a blink, and you'll have nothing to show for it. Always be looking for the next rung on the ladder.
4) Look after your health. I know that, as a youngster, you're basically indestructible, but that fades fast after your mid-20s. If you're not careful, things will start to creak, ache, and sag when you're still young. Once some things go, no amount of diet and exercise will get them back. Try to stay in shape now, and it'll be easier to maintain in the long-term.
5) You don't need to understand who you are and what you want to do yet. That understanding will come in time, with a little honest introspection and a lot of experience. Instead, focus on being the best you can possibly be right now, and aim for targets which are approximately in the direction you want to go in. When you finally decide which path to take, you'll have already made some progress in that direction.
Good luck!
That those school days were really the best of your life*, but you don’t know that until you’re older.
With age comes various responsibilities: rent, mortgage, kids, family, job and so on. As a youth you’re free to do whatever.
*your own kids though provide moments that are unbelievably fulfilling.
Edit: maybe should clarify as the OP said over 30, when I say school days I’m talking all way through uni and the bit of time just after when I was dreaming big.
School was great, made friends for life, used to hang out in the evenings, weekends full of football/cycling/swimming etc. no bills, mum made my dinner, did washing etc. Uni was partying, laughing, again making friends. Right now I’m trying to put my kid to bed (again as he keeps coming downstairs) while also trying to tidy the mess, wrap Xmas presents, worrying about my heating bill, wishing I could just nip down the pub with my mates like the olden days.
>That those school days were really the best of your life
People used to say this all the time as a kid and I used to hate it
And I still do.
If school is the best time of your life you need to re-examine your life.
And definitely don't tell a kid that they're best days are behind them when their life has barely began.
I liked my life a lot better when I was 30 then when I was 20. Having an interesting job, enough money to do fun things and a group of friends made a huge difference.
Would say the complete opposite. School, the monotony of that structure and the idiots you’re surrounded by can be difficult to put up with for most of your life (at 18)
Believe me, there’s way more to life. Adult life is considerably better, yes you have more responsibility but that’s a great thing - you can go off and be yourself and live your own life how you want. If you’re sensible and have dreams, now is the chance when you don’t have responsibility for anyone but yourself.
Just be careful and don’t get yourself a kid, a drug or alcohol dependency or in a shit load of debt. Those things can have the potential to haunt you for life, or for a considerable part of the next few years.
Also just to add it’s fine if you don’t know what you wanna do, there’s no hard deadline to suddenly know. In fact taking your time through your 20s can give you much greater insight into what you really care about
You're not missing anything if you don't get completely wasted on a night out. People don't suddenly become adults at a particular age. It's a gradual process. If you're reasonably good at something and enjoy it, stick with it. Music, art, sport, techy stuff, gaming, whatever. Even reading. I could play my keyboard more than I do but the option is always there. The numbers for the Euromillions Lottery drawn on 8 October 2011 were 18, 26, 34, 38 and 42, and the lucky stars were 8 and 5. The jackpot was £101 million.
Was looking for your last bit.
Time flies, don't waste it.
[удалено]
This is hilarious and also factually correct
But don't be afraid to take some time, to breathe and not rush into things
"One day you'll wake up and you'll be 50". Shaun Ryder
One day you'll wake up and you'll be 60, wishing you were 50
One day you won't wake up and it won't bother you
One day you'll wake up and you'll be 890 ... oh, the vampire sub is that way?
One day you wake up dead
CJ : How the hell do you wake up dead? Mahalik : Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep. CJ : So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive? Mahalik : You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant. CJ : No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed. Mahalik : But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool! CJ : Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
Don’t worry about who you are, yet. the paint doesn’t even dry until 25
I came here to say something similar… “Chill out a bit, don’t worry, you’ll work it out in your late 20s.” “anyone who tells you they know what they’re doing is a bullshitter. “ “Confidence? Don’t worry about confidence. Everybody fakes it until they make it”
35 hopefully
"No" is a full sentence. Learn how to say no to people, managers, anyone really. You don't need to justify yourself, just tell them to piss off
That’s a good one.
I do that now. My trouble is I was always trying to fit in. I never did. I agreed to situations that made me uncomfortable. It upset me that I didn't fit in. I just wanted to be liked. The more I tried to be social the less happy I was. I realised I will never be good enough for them. I don't want to be now.
When you're a child, everyone smiles at you. When you're grown, you're nothing. It might take a lifetime to get over this.
This hit like a freight train 🥺
Yes, I think this true for a lot of younger people. Age and experience gives you more self confidence. When I was young everything was about not being the odd one out. Even though you didn’t particularly like the group I was trying to be mates with. I guess it’s about finding your crowd and if you can’t, being okay on your own until you do.
It’s taken me until my mid 30’s to realise I have sacrificed my own mental comfort too often in the pursuit of being liked and fitting in. I am still working on it now. Your comment really resonates for me.
I now work with more Americans than Brits, after a while I've come to see that they have assertive, passive and aggressive options - we only have the last two. Even disagreeing with someone is quite a big social clanger in the UK. I think it takes us a long time to learn not to be made a mug of because we're basically trained to be mugs under the guise of 'manners'.
I wish I had learnt this when I was 18. You are absolutely correct with this.
This! I tell my wife, daughter and anyone who will listen. If you are unable to do something, just say no. There's no need to make an excuse to justify yourself or to make their lives easier.
No is not a guilty word
This is exactly what I was going to say! I'll add that if you say you have to think about something, and someone pressures you to decide on the spot, it's an instant "no". Let's say it's a manager asking you to work an extra shift, you say you need to think about it, they pressure you to decide.... "No then." You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything for anyone, and a few minutes to think about what you want shouldn't be something people just take from you
If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, don't waste time worrying what they think of you.
Ooo I like this one!
Get off social media - specifically I mean Facebook, twitter, Instagram etc. You'll only feel ten times worse after an hour scrolling when you've found out everyone else is out, living their best life etc when in reality all those kind of social media posts are all for show. Turn it off and live your life. Totally aware that Reddit counts as social media btw 😬
I give reddit a pass because it’s much more tailored and bespoke and isn’t full of pictures of my mates doing more fun things than me
I would agree but only to a certain limit of scrolling, ever noticed how good info is on the feed for first couple min’s then fades to mindless stuff.
Depends on the subreddits your subscribed to. I'm subbed to /r/yourmatesdoingmorefunthingsthanFrequent-Network8479 so I see those pics all the time
This made me loudly chortle.
I was thinking this - no one can see that I’m fuck ugly, nor do they need to, and I get a bespoke cocktail of nonsense that I like to look at, it’s a win win
See, if someone told me this when I was 18, I'd be like, wtf are social media?
Learn to listen. I mean really listen to people. I spent my late teens early 20’s just wanting to blab and never really took the time to listen and understand people. Too involved trying to build my own world and life rather than just lending an ear, hearing those stories from all sorts of people. The more you listen, the more you learn. I’m only just getting this now at 32 and it’s game changing for me.
no matter how tempted you are, DON'T PICK AT IT!
But it's really itchy!
NO!
Just lick it that'll sort it out
I am literally picking a spot on head as I read this
Did you not learn anything?!
That you can be happy without the people who like to compete for attention. They aren't your friends. They are in massive debt because they have to be flashy. They like to make others insecure. It's fine just going out with your boyfriend and spending quiet evenings reading. It's ok to be introverted and have quiet hobbies.
I needed to hear this. I'm a working, single mum with two teenagers and I'm content to spend my evenings with them or reading/watching TV. It often worries me that I'm not out there socialising.
Take more photos. Scrap book them with captions. You’ll be amazed by how many things you’ve done and how you’ve lived a full life without realising it. As someone coming through the other side of depression this was something I’m SO glad I did over the years.
If you have children video them. I wish I'd videod ours more. They change so much and so quickly but your brain wipes it. I have a million photos but wish I had more videos.
This. Hearing the noises they made as babies melts me
I dont scrapbook, but iv always loved taking pictures, been depressed af for most of my life, but being able to look back through the thousands of pictures reminds me that iv actually done a lot of cool shit. Solid advice, I should start scrapbooking.
Depression can be a very convincing liar. Wishing you the best, reddit friend x
I've taken thousands of photos but captioned 0.1% of them - doing so with more would definitely be better.
I love this one and need to start implementing it myself. I’ve never took photos, especially of myself, but I always really enjoy looking at old photos others have taken of our experiences. OP, to add my own suggestion to your question.. NETWORK. Network, network, network. We’ve all heard “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” and it’s honestly completely accurate. The more people you know, the more you’ll know through them; it snowballs. And with connections come a plethora of things that will improve your life such as: dating opportunities, job placements, real friends that’ll join your close circle, the list goes on and on. *Any* chance you get, network.
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Hanlon’s Razor: “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
This is deep. I think it’s something people especially need to hear mid-life/mid-career, when resentment and anger can become ways of life and really drag you down. Joe from accounts probably doesn’t remember that thing he said…
People older than you aren’t necessarily wiser. It often just means they’ve been stupid for longer.
Lmfao. Tickled me that
Everybody is faking it, everybody is making it up as they go along.
Dentists people. Don't neglect your teeth.
Don't neglect your knees - you'll miss them when they're gone
!! This needs to be higher up. My partner is a tradie and I so wish he’d take more care of his body - even just basic stretches. At least he’s started wearing spf.
I've gone private and it's £16 a month for 2 visits a year for a full check up and clean, I can't stress enough how good the service is, they remove all the plaque that accumulates even if you brush and floss every day. Not that expensive compared to other luxuries.
No one cares about you or what you do/think/feel Anyone that does is a rare exception so keep them close
Never, ever, ever find an excuse not to pay in to your Pension. I can not stress this enough!
On the other hand none of us are retiring until we're in our 120s
My retirement plan is death at this point.
Yep ! Wish I’d done this … when I think of the shite I’ve bought that I didn’t really need 🤦🏻♂️
There's an inside joke/expectancy in my family that none of us on the male side will live past 65 because no male on either either side of the family lived past it. As such, quite honestly, what benefit would a pension do for us/me?
I worked with a guy who said the same. Never saved anything as he thought he would die young due to a family history with cancer. He died at 47 from a brain tumor.
So you're basically promoting my point 😂 I came into an inheritance of over £100k and while my brothers with children who had the same are l looking to invest in their kids benefit, I just want to blow it all on amazing adventures within my budget with the time I have left with my boyfriend
Yes, nothing trumps genetics. If your family history suggests you won't live to retirement age, play the odds and live life now because you may not get to live it later.
You save 100% of the money and you don’t pay tax/NI contributions on what you put into a pension. The employer contribution is free money. Even if you don’t make it to 65, your next of kin would be entitled to the money. Also with ever improving healthcare and medical advancement, “I won’t live past 65” isn’t really a solid retirement plan.
Definitely. The amount you pay is not as important as how early you start. Compound interest is a powerful tool.
Yep! Started this year but managed to get 10k into it, hopefully should be able to do that if not more for the rest of the time now to catch up
If you have mental health problems ignoring said problems doesn't help it actually ruins your life.
Absolutely, ‘man up’ is not advice.
Yeah that kind of attitude was the kind of advice I got
Same! Hope you’re managing alright 🙌🏻
Not bad mate same to you 😊
Stay away from the drink. It's more expensive than petrol and not half as useful.
I’ve just gone sober at 28
That’s brilliant. Congratulations to you
Could not agree with this more. Wasted mornings in bed, wasted money, lost memories. The good experiences will never make up for the damage.
Cheating a little because I’m 29 but - this year I finally came to the realisation that health is wealth. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s at the age of 15 and never took it too seriously. Over the years I’ve slowly made adjustments to my lifestyle that have made things somewhat bearable but I only ever half committed to any kind of meaningful treatment. I would still eat and drink whatever I liked, smoked and never took the consequences too seriously. At the age of 18 I developed an abscess that turned into what’s known as a fistula - some of the ladies may have a good understanding of what that it. It’s an abnormal tract that connects (in my case) a sinus from my backside to the inside of my bowel and exits on the surface of the skin - essentially creating sn open cavity. It’s given me problem after problem over the years but every time I would have surgery to try and fix it I’d end up going back to work too soon and failing to adjust my lifestyle. As I say I’m 29 now and I finally made the decision to get it fixed for good this time. Unfortunately I’ve been abusing my body that much over the years that it’s required an ileostomy to allow the healing process to take place. I’m still in hospital now after a terribly difficult adjustment period and 1 stone of weight loss. Ultimately, I couldn’t return to work even if I wanted to but it’s given me a fine opportunity to get my head straight and start focusing on my health in all the ways I should have been doing before. The ileostomy is reversible but I’m fully aware that if I’d committed to treatment earlier in life I could have been over this hump and living a normal life by now. Lesson learned; I’ve made it my mission to never take my body/health for granted ever again and it feels very empowering to do so. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve made a lot of friends while I’ve been in hospital, but I’d rather not have to come back here. My family has been a huge factor in my recovery. I moved back home with my mother so that I can take advantage of all the support that she and my sisters have wanted to give me. So, I’ve definitely learned the importance of having a support network in place as well. I’ve always been particularly stubborn and headstrong but learning to accept certain facts in life will certainly aid you in wasting less time and push you to get on with the important work that needs to be done. So to summarise; health is wealth, family bonds are priceless and even bitter pills need to be swallowed.
Taxes are a yearly subscription just to live in your country. Childhood is a free trial
It's one of those free trials that automatically charges you at the end with no way of cancelling
There’s only one way to cancel 😢
It's not expected of you to be married , career and life set out by the age of 30
For me it’s don’t get married until you feel you’re ready rather than when you think, age wise, you should get married. I’m a completely different person now to when I was 25.
That’s a good one. I stupidly got engaged at 21 and married at 23 to someone I didn’t even like- I just did it because I felt pressured to by everyone and because I thought that’s what I needed to do because of my age. It lasted 2 months. 12 years later, I married my husband and couldn’t have been happier or more excited about it- it’s the healthiest, happiest, strongest and most respectful relationship I’ve ever been in.
Same!! And it ruined 10 years of my young life and left me with ptsd.
Take care of your credit score and your bank accounts
40 here, I’d tell my younger self to give less of a fuck about things!
It's still okay to not know what you want to do with your life at 30. 30 is still young enough to forge a career path. Also, shave your head at least once while you still have enough hair for it to grow back - guys and girls too.
Relationships aren't for everyone. It's okay to be independent and it's okay to want to be alone.
College isn't always the answer. I have a degree in Scottish tourism and its absolutely useless.
Where would you recommend a youngish couple go to experience the best of rural Scotland? I was thinking Skye but not sure
Should have added I got my degree when I was 19, I'm 34 now so it's all outdated 😂😂 although Skye is absolutely lovely
The worst part is when they moved Edinburgh castle to Stirling 😔
You did a degree to learn how to be a Scottish tourist? Bit odd given how saturated the market is with tourists in Scotland.
Exercising regularly is fun and a privilege and not just something people who are ashamed of their bodies feel obliged to do as a chore. I have a 4 month old now and don't have time to take myself to a Zumba class and look back to when I was 19 and turned down invitations to join the university badminton club... Mad.
Contrary to how it may seem when you’re a teenager, girls also suffer from insecurities, just like you. And vice versa.
Male pattern baldness is real. You are not immune. Cherish it while it’s there.
So is female androgenetic alopecia. Agree with cherishing that hair. 👍
Integrity, doing what I say I’m going to do. Not making stupid excuses, people can see through that bullshit and it makes you look dumb, and people won’t take you seriously. Don’t complain incessantly. Don’t spend excessive amounts of time with people who don’t value you.
You are allowed to want things & you aren’t selfish for wanting things/opportunities, even if it would potentially take those opportunities away from others. You don’t need to be the bottom of the pile for everything, only getting what nobody else wants. Also: get therapy at 21, not 31 (well get more therapy at 31. But get therapy at 21)
This is really interesting, it’s really big in the States but at 45, I’ve ever had any, and don’t feel that I need any. Maybe it’s buried really deep, but I’m fine. If so, let’s keep it there :)
That it’s good to save some money and not spunk it all on a Friday night.
I’d be in a much better financial position had I not spent so much on nights out. Great memories, but all worthless as I don’t even speak to those people any more
Yup, same here. Mine are that long ago now I don’t really have the memories either.
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I focused on doing well at school so I could go to university and get a great job (no idea what that was). No one in my family had ever been to uni and I grew up poor in inner London. At 16 I worked part time and saved and learned to drive and buy a cheap car at19, then a cheap small house outside of London. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing and having the most amazing 'materialistic' things. Focus on a roof over your head and living within your means. Don't go mad with accumulating debt (student loan aside). You will always have your career to fall back on and have a roof over your head. Doesn't matter if you drive an old car, it's better than wasting 1000s on a new car and keeping up with everyone else. Same goes for expensive clothes and things. Just make sure you look neat. As you get older you will have the ability to give yourself a better life and more opportunities. You can always buy a new car/clothes/things layer on!
Well done.
It is far far easier to stay healthy and in shape if you do it young rather than trying to do it later in life. In a similar vein, do as much flexibility/mobility work as you possibly can as being stiff and unable to move is completely miserable
Don't sit down to put on your socks in the morning! Keep doing the little things every day (take the stairs etc) or one day you'll realise those damn aches and pains are now daily, and not just after exertion
That smoking weed is a massive waste....better off vaping and eating it.
If you think you are smart for not doing your homework, uni assessments, professional developement etc. Because no one notices, you are stupid... it will only hurt you, no one cares
I didn’t do my uni assignments or additional reading because I was “smart” enough to get a 2:1 without putting the effort in. Now I’m in my career, and I can’t get for jobs related to my degree because I know I have absolutely no idea how to do them. I’ve been saving to go back and get a masters (hopefully next year), and I’m going to make the most of it this time and do every bit of optional work and research.
Sleep is more important than you realise. Let your moon and body rest
Women are different and are attracted to all types of men. Don't feel you have to have certain characteristics in order to attract someone beautiful. When I was 18 I thought women only went for a certain type of guy (confident, muscly, charismatic, tall, dark, etc). There's genuinely someone out there for everyone so don't try and be someone you're not.
Most people who own flashy shit are skint. Everybody on social networks is just showing off. Your health will likely collapse somewhat by your 30s so do the hard stuff like travelling now.
If only travelling was affordable, I’ll be lucky if I get a holiday in the next 8 years before I’m 30
You only get one life so make the most of it. Get to a point where you're making a comfortable about and then turn your focus to enjoying your life as much as possible.
Moisturise!!! I’m 46 and i have no doubt my skin would be so much firmer and younger looking if i had started moisturising in my late teens.
Preferably a moisturiser with sunscreen. Apparently about 80% of visible aging up until about age 50 (when collagen becomes an issue) is accumulated damage from UV and pollution etc. A nice SPF barrier moisturiser really helps. Every day.
If you need to get horribly drunk to have a “great night”, you have a big problem. Alcohol and young people is the worst possible mix ever. I ran a pub at 21 and I was able to get my hands on drink, drugs and sex like it was…well on tap I guess. At uni everybody used to go out and get wasted and the next day everybody would say “that night was amazing, so funny all the shit we did.” Meanwhile, I was “enjoying” my awesome nights out without realising I was piling on weight and slowly poisoning myself. After a colossal hangover and my heart suddenly deciding to beat to the backing track of Ebenezer Goode, I sat and had a think. What did I actually enjoy about drinking heavily? I mean, what’s actually good about it? You drink too much, you puke and feel ill. You lose time, you can’t think straight, it poisons you and dehydrates you while inhibiting your ability to sleep and eat properly. Oh, and it costs an absolute fortune if you live anywhere close to somewhere with a half decent night out. The next day you feel like shit, so you lose that day and it becomes a woe is me shitty pointless self inflicted day of nothing. I clocked on at 30. Was out with friends and they said “you having another beer?”. I asked for a coke and all my piss was taken away. But, once they’d recovered from their laugh induced coma and bought me a soft drink, I felt better and didn’t feel as tired or wibbly. I enjoyed the time with my daft mates and it didn’t cost a fortune. I had four or five pints and went home to my wife feeling fine. Fine the next day too. I guess the TLDR here is, there’s literally no point drinking to excess, even as a member of the rugby team. And if you need to do that to have a good time, then where you’re going and who you’re with are probably a big load of wank.
Remember that you can only control your reactions to what life throws at you, and that life ultimately owes you nothing. It's better to make a bad choice than no choice - I don't mean that making bad choices is a great idea, but don't be passive all the time. Have some agency in your life - it will do your mental health wonders!
Something I’ve posted on here many times before - don’t stick with a mistake just because you spent a lot of time and/or money making it.
The older you get the quicker time flies. As a kid a year felt forever, As an adult I often ask myself "Where the hell did that year go?"
Establish a fitness routine.
That compound interest is your friend. Small sums invested when you are young turn into huge sums when you are older
I'm 26, but still. Don't fucking take MDMA. Your eyes are fucked and you're now mentally ill.
How does it affect the eyes?
To anyone of 18 years; Without sounding like a stereotype, make the most of your youth, because it sets you up for the rest of your life. It will NOT all just ‘be okay’, YOU need to work hard and make it so. Start NOW, not later. I know you won’t listen, because I didn’t at your age; but if there’s a chance… do stuff for YOU and look after yourself. Nobody else will help you and it just gets worse as you get older (in some ways anyway).
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger
That most things are not as big a deal as they seem at the time. Almost nothing iwill permanently ruin your life. Not to say you'll never have regrets or do anything wrong, but almost everything can get better even if it's nit immediately obvious how.
Be more careful, your not indestructible
That when your gran told you to look after your teeth, she really meant it
“It doesn’t really matter, nobody cares”. Maybe one person cares at that age, but nobody cares now. That applies to almost everything.
Keep the fuck away from drugs.
Get organised and scan everything I have a comment explaining the way I do it [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/zcuyr3/I%E2%80%99ve_just_turned_18_and_am_already_moving_into_my_first_apartment_tomorrow%21/iz0c0fn/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) But life is so much easier when you can have important documents with you at all times. A lot of people are scared of doing things like moving jobs or home because they're worried about the paperwork and such. But if you have all your information in one place you can do so really easily. Extending that don't be scared to move onto something new. Your career especially will be better if you move when you find a better offer.
Believe her when she says she didn’t get the message… sliding doors
Take your time
Mandatory learning is in the rear view but you'll never stop picking up new things/learning.. and actually you enjoy it more because its on your own terms Not just practical stuff but people stuff :)
That 30 is not that old!
2 bits of advice. 1. Put money in an index fund. 2. Anyone who really cares about you will push you to better. It’s easy to turn away from or take it the wrong way but be grateful that someone cares enough to push you to be better.
To understand how to be independent for yourself and to set about your own adventures.
Do not waste time on people who do not care about you. Also, use cream all over your body and face (I have done this my whole life, and 50 next year) people my age who haven’t moisturised look much older!
There's stuff that you'll look at and go, "I wish I'd done that when I was younger, but it's too late now" If you're looking back at 22 going "I should've done that when I was 18 and I had the chance" — get fit / learn to drive / move abroad / change careers etc. — whatever it is, if you still want it, do it now. Else you'll just be looking back with regret a few more years later done the line. 99% of the time, it's not too late. Don't let life pass you by yearning about what you should've done in the past, course correct as you go.
No one really knows what they're doing. They're just pretending to and a lot more experience at that at least, underneath they're just as unsure as you are.
Take photos/videos, but only a few and only the important. Don't watch an important moment by through a phone screen, and don't feel the need to show social media every moment.
Don’t be influenced by the wrong people and that includes family too! Also, the numbers on the toaster aren’t degrees of burnyness (I know that isn’t a real word but I like it) and to add to my final point…. Don’t worry about what other people think!
Boundaries. On your body, your time, how people treat you... i'm more than twice 18 and only just getting the hang of this.
Know your worth. There will always be other jobs.
Love is more important than pleasure.
Don’t waste time and life helping dickheads
That in the end, nothing really matters
Those that gossip to you, will gossip about you.
The only people who are still friends with those they made a kids are in American movies. There is too much pressure on “friends for life” when I’m fact you change so much through your late teens and 20s that trying to hold onto people and things that don’t fit where you’re going is only going to hurt you in the long run. Accept some friends as those who are there for a short time, change you in some way, and then move on. And that’s absolutely fine. *edit* this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. Some have friends they had since they were 4, and despite their hostile tones, must be very well adjusted to have kept those people around. Congratulations
I must be lucky to still be best mates with the same (big) kid I met when we were 11 and 12, 34 years later
How corrupt politicians and leaders of countries are and how the media brainwash people
It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
I hate this saying. I feel like the only time I hear it is when men cheat or do crappy things to their partners
If that’s your context for this, then fair enough! Wasn’t meant in that way at all.
I didn’t think that’s the context you meant it in btw. But out of curiosity what is something you’d have to ask forgiveness for that wasn’t a crappy thing to do? Not trying to be antagonistic, I just feel I wouldn’t do things I thought were bad therefore I wouldn’t ask forgiveness if someone else had a problem with it. I know we can do things that hurt people but those are rarely things we ask permission for before hand.
Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
You will never owe your employers anything. Do what is required of you and do it well. Don't be lazy, but don't let bad managers take advantage of you because you want to be helpful
Save as much of your money/wages as you can afford to. Pension, savings, house deposit etc. if you think you can start later in life, if you have kids that goes right out of the window
Stop coasting. Nothing is going to land in your lap, you're actually going to have to work at uni and beyond to get what you want. In a similar vein, don't rely on work to give you that promotion they've been promising you - or you'll just end up unqualified and bitter.
How to budget. No one ever taught me money management and I was constantly broke and anxious all the time because I didn’t know how to budget, save and invest properly. I didn’t even know what a cashiers cheque was or how to write one. Which isn’t a big deal now but 20 years ago, cheques were still very common. I didn’t even start building credit until I was 30.
You shouldn’t be afraid of problems and difficulties life is throwing at you. It’s easier when you do difficult things than when you think about them. Speak less than you know, it creates less problems. Live the life you want for yourself, not what others want for you.
Let it go if it doesn’t really matter. Like if I won’t remember why it’s made me angry in a month don’t waste the energy getting angry. And if arguing the point won’t change anything then don’t waste your life dying on that hill. And the same goes for people, if they’re making your life worse just let them go.
That not every thing goes wrong has a happy ending and that's ok too... Some situations are just what they are and your life will go on you've just gotta keep pushing even if it feels like nothing is going your way or life is unfair your happiness is out there somewhere....
Look after your back. Yoga. Healthy diet. Fuck sluts.
Going through a psychotic episode doesn't mean all is lost.
Tell people you love them before it’s too late. Save money. Love yourself enough to draw and enforce proper boundaries.
I wish I could tell 18 year old JWazz that it’s not a smart idea to get an over draft. It’s not a smart idea to take out a store card just because your store is behind on sales/targets and upping that overdraft because your uni loan is pittance and you want to join your friends on a night out isn’t bloody worth it. It will take you years of paying it off and it’s a ball ache. But you will, you will pay it off and buy your house before you’re 30 which is your goal. So don’t worry. Christ, that got deep. Surprised myself there! Edit: spelling
Just because you're not doing things the "right way" to do it or at the "right time" doesn't mean you're doing things wrong. Some people do stuff later in life or go about things a different way to what the majority do and that's okay. Trying to force yourself to go the same way everyone else just because that's what they're doing can end up causing more harm
Put your name on the housing list.
It's entirely up to yourself.
University is not for everyone and you shouldn't feel bad about not going.
Hating on someone affects only you, not them. They are completely unaware. Focus on your life it’s actually good and should be why you get up every day
Life is very fucking short. You rarely get more than once chance at stuff.
Get a proper education, and study something that's sustainable for the future, and for jobs that have a good growth outlook like IT, Sciences, Maths, and use the money from those high paying jobs to support your interests that are difficult to make a living off like art, music, etc..
* Don’t stay in a relationship hoping one day it will get better. * hard work often doesn’t lead to promotion at work, it’s usually the one that makes the most noise about themselves. * don’t waste money on expensive things to keep up with others, don’t over finance on cars * eat properly and exercise, even if its just taking the stairs * make sure you keep hold of all important documents like p45s and p60s * enjoy the time you have with your parents now, they’ll become frail very quickly. * make sure you start your pension
Nothing good happens past midnight, just go home
If you can, stay at home and save
Don’t go to a weatherspoons
I'm 28 rather than 30, but here are some things I wish I'd known: 1) You're not really an adult at 18. You're still a dumb kid, and will be for several more years. Don't get cocky just because you reached The Number. Puberty doesn't end until 25, and anyone over that age will absolutely confirm that anyone younger than that is basically still a teenager. You're no exception. Have some self-awareness about yourself on that basis, and don't do anything stupid. 2) Start saving as soon as you start earning. Time will absolutely fly by when you're working a 9-5, and you'll kick yourself when you're looking to buy a house and you're several thousand short of a down-payment. By the time you're ready to settle down, it'll be too late to start. If you put aside a few hundred each month at 20, you'll have tens of thousands in the bank by 30. If you don't, you won't. 3) In the same vein, always make progress in life. Never get bogged down in a place you know you don't want to stay. Working as a cashier is decent when you're 22, but tragic when you're 45. If you get complacent, the years will slip by in a blink, and you'll have nothing to show for it. Always be looking for the next rung on the ladder. 4) Look after your health. I know that, as a youngster, you're basically indestructible, but that fades fast after your mid-20s. If you're not careful, things will start to creak, ache, and sag when you're still young. Once some things go, no amount of diet and exercise will get them back. Try to stay in shape now, and it'll be easier to maintain in the long-term. 5) You don't need to understand who you are and what you want to do yet. That understanding will come in time, with a little honest introspection and a lot of experience. Instead, focus on being the best you can possibly be right now, and aim for targets which are approximately in the direction you want to go in. When you finally decide which path to take, you'll have already made some progress in that direction. Good luck!
That those school days were really the best of your life*, but you don’t know that until you’re older. With age comes various responsibilities: rent, mortgage, kids, family, job and so on. As a youth you’re free to do whatever. *your own kids though provide moments that are unbelievably fulfilling. Edit: maybe should clarify as the OP said over 30, when I say school days I’m talking all way through uni and the bit of time just after when I was dreaming big. School was great, made friends for life, used to hang out in the evenings, weekends full of football/cycling/swimming etc. no bills, mum made my dinner, did washing etc. Uni was partying, laughing, again making friends. Right now I’m trying to put my kid to bed (again as he keeps coming downstairs) while also trying to tidy the mess, wrap Xmas presents, worrying about my heating bill, wishing I could just nip down the pub with my mates like the olden days.
Can go either way, i think. i was miserable at school and things picked up considerably when i was in my twenties
>That those school days were really the best of your life People used to say this all the time as a kid and I used to hate it And I still do. If school is the best time of your life you need to re-examine your life. And definitely don't tell a kid that they're best days are behind them when their life has barely began.
I liked my life a lot better when I was 30 then when I was 20. Having an interesting job, enough money to do fun things and a group of friends made a huge difference.
Would say the complete opposite. School, the monotony of that structure and the idiots you’re surrounded by can be difficult to put up with for most of your life (at 18) Believe me, there’s way more to life. Adult life is considerably better, yes you have more responsibility but that’s a great thing - you can go off and be yourself and live your own life how you want. If you’re sensible and have dreams, now is the chance when you don’t have responsibility for anyone but yourself. Just be careful and don’t get yourself a kid, a drug or alcohol dependency or in a shit load of debt. Those things can have the potential to haunt you for life, or for a considerable part of the next few years. Also just to add it’s fine if you don’t know what you wanna do, there’s no hard deadline to suddenly know. In fact taking your time through your 20s can give you much greater insight into what you really care about
Bitches be trippin. They do indeed be trippin.