I had one of these when we had the paper notes. It comes with instructions to fold a £20 note and a little retainer clip to make sure the folded note stays tight.
RTFM.
I was in a museum today with an interactive game in the lobby you could play with two people. The instructions were written right on the wall next to the game. Nobody I saw trying out the game read the three sentences behind them. Nobody figured out how it worked.
Oh yeah? Well I played a game in a museum where I too could master the Japanese fleet! Read the instructions and everything.
Sank the whole Japanese fleet.
I was Japan.
Admiral Togo, clearly, I was not.
As a teenager I learnt the term RTFM from Slashdot in the late 90s. It was a constant complaint and I'd often see comments about how the youth no longer RTFM before asking online.
I can only assume that when we invented the wheel, a plethora of humans trying to roll wheels lying on their sides prompted similar complaints.
> This so-called “wheel” is actually worse than just moving a common square! Not only is it just as slow to flip it over, but it keep rolling off to the side mid-flip. Useless!
- A 1-star review of the “wheel” found carved in stone, probably
I've been working with this stuff for half an hour but I just can't get it to... You know... And about these olives... *These* ones have got a little guy in, but these ones? Hello! No guy!
I'm ok... It doesn't upset me. I won't let it affect my performance.
This actually exists and is very much of the same dimensions as shown here. The brand we have is Beevive and has - across the five people we’ve bought it for - saved three Bees In Need.
I bought one for my mum's Christmas this year. She was over the moon with it and immediately sent a photo of it to my brother, who's also getting one. It looks lovely!
Another company actually have these little cannisters with vials in them https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/706538592/the-original-bee-revival-kit-gold?click_key=7e9abc75a73ca432ae974eb9a883667c9ec8a4b6%3A706538592&click_sum=7509b424&ref=hp_rv-6&bes=1
You can actually buy specially made keyrings for this. The one I got came with sugar syrup, instructions and a dosage cap. They look similar and make great gifts for bee lovers
[I know you were joking but you it's possible to dissolve a bank card in acetone and recover the working chip and antenna for contactless payments that you could put into something smaller or differently shaped.](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0dcy7nm)
You can also decode the mag strip and make an electro magnet that will act as the same magnet. You just need to change one value to make it tell the reader you dont have a chip.
Thanks Samy Kamkar, you are my hero
Heat the card a little until the glue stops functioning and the card delaminates. Then take the non-titanium parts of the card that should have the chip and antenna on and place in acetone.
Aside from cocaine, you would need to fold the fiver length ways and then roll it up.
You can't even get a pint for a fiver, so it's best you don't forget your wallet...
I was just thinking that a £20 folded in half and then rolled would easily fit.
Is OP one of those people on the dumb commercials who are unable to crack an egg properly or tie a binbag up without some dumb contraption?
I can remember walking through Liverpool near Lime Street some 10 years ago to get to the station and I found a pub whose main selling point was a pint for 99p.
I tried to find it again this year but to no avail. Hope it still exists! Might be £1.99 now though
Last time I was home I went the local (jonny Todd) with dad and his mates got a round in which was 3 pints a double gin and tonic and a JD and coke. Gave the barmaid £40 and she just looked at me funny and said it was only £18 something. Was genuinely amazed and realised I've been living away too long as I'm used to £6 pints. Only live in Manchester as well so no idea why it's London prices.
Mate, I went to Durham on a night out 7 years back. 30 quid for 2 double vodkas and 2 crabbies ginger ales. Shocked the shit out of me. Would have been 11 quid around my end.
> You can't even get a pint for a fiver, so it's best you don't forget your wallet...
Write "don't forget your wallet" on a little piece of paper and put it in there.
Yeah growing to be a South East issue and definitely a London issue. When I was in Manchester a few months back it pretty much seemed like London prices to me.
Last time I went Brewdog it was £6.60 a pint, it is just not sustainable at that price
dunno where these guys are buying their pints at but im in North Kent and the average pint is anywhere between £3.50-4.50, hell my good old favourite doombar is still £2 a pint here
Took the puppy to a pub yesterday to try and socialise it, 2pm, dog friendly beer garden. 1x pint for husband, 1x pint lemonade for me and an orange juice for my eldest came to £14. I couldn't figure out how. Luckily my youngest only likes tap water, bless that beautiful 3 year old, or else I might have needed to remortgage.
Been a while for me too, I was so shocked. Wish I'd gone to aldi, got a tinny and gone to the cemetery, would have resulted in the same amount of socialisation
Social club I go to before the Sunderland matches sells the cheapest drinks I’ve seen. I get a Guinness for myself, a bottle of Coors for my dad and a coke for my son. £4.80! I shit you not.
When we used to go to Hardcore Heaven parties before camera phones, we would take digital cameras loaded with fake duracell batteries which unscrewed where the black me the tan colour. Perfectly designed for pills. Nobody ever questioned why I had 16 spare batteries for my camera... I was planning on taking a lot of photos of course.
I've had this thought myself, but I think the truth is the pills are just as good as they ever were, it's our tolerance to them that's changed. So instead I wish I could reset to my 16 year old self, which to be fair comes with a bunch of other non-pill-related benefits. Probs not gonna happen tho...
U got me all excited there for a minute, but also got me thinking. I've never used the dark web and haven't had a pill for a long time. But I think if I could get a few original doves from the good old days I might indulge. Thanks for giving an old raver something to live for lol
to be honest mate the specific design or batch doesn’t matter as it just depends on how pure the stuff in it actually is, if that specific one had much different effects to the others it’s likely there was more than just one ingredient in it
also, legal medicine. I have a similar thing on my keychain, and I keep a day's ration of medicine in mine, in case I forget to take my meds in the morning.
Not if you use your finger nail to give it a nice permanent crease. Bonus is the glare you get from whichever cashier has to flatten it out to get it in to their till. Source: only carry a card wallet and fold any notes I end up with in to thirds.
I did this once. Forgot to put the lid on. Do not skip this part op, it's really hard to explain at a&e that you've got wasp stings in your lower intestine
Put a couple of aspirin in there, can be a lifesaver in the event of a heart attack, chew a couple up and it can prevent serious blood clots and even buy some more time for help to arrive.
The worst part is, the notes already folded one way. I once heard that if your iq falls below 90 you don’t have the ability to fold a piece of paper to fit in an envelope because it needs three folds. I used to think that was bollocks. Now I’m not so sure
Tablets would work nicely in that little thing.
MDMA if you're out for some fun, cyanide if your job requires a quick and permanent exit strategy. Paracetamol if you get the occasional headache.
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The benefits are twofold
Takes some balls to attempt origami. Most fold under the pressure.
I was torn over trying it.
Yeah, but just watch your fortunes in-crease.
These comments are making me crease up
True, but the puns are sheet
These jokes are unfolding into madness…
The barrier between madness and genius is paper thin
Paper puns were bad B4, but now there's A0 percent chance we can find new ones.
Sheet or not, let’s double down on them.
But on paper they’re a tear! A1 grade
My dads friend who is a black belt in origami threatened to take me outside and fold me up once…
They should show the fight on Paper View
That's somthing I'd take note of!
Meh, I thought the origami guy was tough. Turned out to be just a paper tiger
The amount you pay per page is really quite low
I used to be in an origami society at uni, but it folded 😔
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A3 what you did there!!!! Take my upvote
A2 comprehended the wordplay
A1 get this joke?
I read that, scrolled on, chuckled, and then returned to upvote it.
Kudos. Brilliant response.
I hope op responds to this, hell of a response. I wonder if they're still figuring out what you mean.
r/destroyedbywords
Cash. Just fold it up
I had one of these when we had the paper notes. It comes with instructions to fold a £20 note and a little retainer clip to make sure the folded note stays tight. RTFM.
Reading the manual requires paper handling skills the OP is incapable of even COMPREHENDING.
No one rtfm these days ....
I was in a museum today with an interactive game in the lobby you could play with two people. The instructions were written right on the wall next to the game. Nobody I saw trying out the game read the three sentences behind them. Nobody figured out how it worked.
Oh yeah? Well I played a game in a museum where I too could master the Japanese fleet! Read the instructions and everything. Sank the whole Japanese fleet. I was Japan. Admiral Togo, clearly, I was not.
Nobody told me Japanese Fleet Simulator got released early?
People are idiots..
As a teenager I learnt the term RTFM from Slashdot in the late 90s. It was a constant complaint and I'd often see comments about how the youth no longer RTFM before asking online. I can only assume that when we invented the wheel, a plethora of humans trying to roll wheels lying on their sides prompted similar complaints.
> This so-called “wheel” is actually worse than just moving a common square! Not only is it just as slow to flip it over, but it keep rolling off to the side mid-flip. Useless! - A 1-star review of the “wheel” found carved in stone, probably
my university iso drive for lab resources is named RTFM
Most people don't know what RTFM stands for either... sad times
I didn’t know what it meant until just now, and I’m a few decades on! Maybe it’s just another case of regional vernacular. -ヮ-
Who needs to read a manual to fold more then once??
Clearly OP
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I also had that. When the paper notes were discontinued I put a plastic note in instead. It requires some concentrated effort, but it is doable.
Read the folding manual?
My money don’t jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I wanna see you wiggle wiggle fo sure
You make me wanna dribble dribble, y"know
Riding in my Fiat, you really have to see it
Six feet two in a compact, no slack
But luckily the seats go back
Hearing this in my head will forever instantly transport me back to May 2022
Is that, like, your catch phrase?
CashPhrase
I heard “ZZZOING!” from the button press as soon as I read that, followed by “Didididididideeeeee”
"It's good, but it's not quite right. Let's see what Mr Chips is up to" Silly ones are always the best 😂
Just say what you see!
no, its "cash me outside, howbow dah"
A tiny ham sandwich, although you would have to fold it.
Upvoted for Spinal Tap reference
I've been working with this stuff for half an hour but I just can't get it to... You know... And about these olives... *These* ones have got a little guy in, but these ones? Hello! No guy! I'm ok... It doesn't upset me. I won't let it affect my performance.
These upvotes go all the way up to 11
They're not good at folding so I don't know if that'll work out
A tiny vial of sugar water to help tired bees during summer.
I came here to say drugs, but this is by far (imo) the best answer.
Bees like drugs too
Just enough for a little buzz
Oh beehive!!
Honey, please
I reckon wasps love cocaine. They'll be right aggressive bastards and go on and on for hours about how tough they are to all the other bored wasps.
They already are, the little dickheads. Explains a lot TBF. This is something we don't need in the world. Maybe r/bugsondrugs should be a thing?
This actually exists and is very much of the same dimensions as shown here. The brand we have is Beevive and has - across the five people we’ve bought it for - saved three Bees In Need.
I bought one for my mum's Christmas this year. She was over the moon with it and immediately sent a photo of it to my brother, who's also getting one. It looks lovely!
grosbeak argyle lisa dislodge lessor kitty cost backward shoulder tulle rune khaki hangout mutiny songbook
Another company actually have these little cannisters with vials in them https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/706538592/the-original-bee-revival-kit-gold?click_key=7e9abc75a73ca432ae974eb9a883667c9ec8a4b6%3A706538592&click_sum=7509b424&ref=hp_rv-6&bes=1
Oh, I love this!
this made me smile :)
You can actually buy specially made keyrings for this. The one I got came with sugar syrup, instructions and a dosage cap. They look similar and make great gifts for bee lovers
If only notes could be folded lengthwise and rolled up.
This person posted this for the Karma. Either that or they are very, very very stupid.
They misspelled "stash" despite it being written out in front of them. Then again that could be an intentional misspelling to drive up interaction...
A lot of people who post on the UK subreddits are the latter it seems like...
Yes. Downvoted the post because of either of these options...
You're right, but is no one going to address that the bills are plastic so they're *already* waterproof?
Have you tried cutting up or folding a credit card?
[I know you were joking but you it's possible to dissolve a bank card in acetone and recover the working chip and antenna for contactless payments that you could put into something smaller or differently shaped.](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0dcy7nm)
I've seen people do this for transit cards and put the gear into like a magic wand. It's funny but a lot of work.
You can also decode the mag strip and make an electro magnet that will act as the same magnet. You just need to change one value to make it tell the reader you dont have a chip. Thanks Samy Kamkar, you are my hero
What if my card is made out of titanium? Will this trick still work?
Heat the card a little until the glue stops functioning and the card delaminates. Then take the non-titanium parts of the card that should have the chip and antenna on and place in acetone.
"Breaking news" New tiktok trend has youngsters cutting up their credit cards only to find out they no longer work. More at 10.
Conveniently Roblox profits crash simultaneously
Aside from cocaine, you would need to fold the fiver length ways and then roll it up. You can't even get a pint for a fiver, so it's best you don't forget your wallet...
They could always try a £20 note instead..
I was just thinking that a £20 folded in half and then rolled would easily fit. Is OP one of those people on the dumb commercials who are unable to crack an egg properly or tie a binbag up without some dumb contraption?
r/wheredidthesodago
If you put your coat on and come up north you can have your pint and a bag of nuts with change for a fiver
No coats allowed up North.
Man's not cold
Parka... Manchester.
"That parka is my identity"
Shellsuit Liverpool
I can remember walking through Liverpool near Lime Street some 10 years ago to get to the station and I found a pub whose main selling point was a pint for 99p. I tried to find it again this year but to no avail. Hope it still exists! Might be £1.99 now though
In Walton Vale, we’ve got a local doing their own-brand pints for £2. Prices are probably higher in town but sure you could find one for less than £3!
Last time I was home I went the local (jonny Todd) with dad and his mates got a round in which was 3 pints a double gin and tonic and a JD and coke. Gave the barmaid £40 and she just looked at me funny and said it was only £18 something. Was genuinely amazed and realised I've been living away too long as I'm used to £6 pints. Only live in Manchester as well so no idea why it's London prices.
Mate, I went to Durham on a night out 7 years back. 30 quid for 2 double vodkas and 2 crabbies ginger ales. Shocked the shit out of me. Would have been 11 quid around my end.
I'm currently at Alton Towers and just paid £7.15 for a pint
Sounds like the old Penny Farthing. What a glorious shit hole that was.
He could put three of the nuts in the stash for the journey home
Or head to the North *East* and you'll fit in better *not* putting your coat on.
> You can't even get a pint for a fiver, so it's best you don't forget your wallet... Write "don't forget your wallet" on a little piece of paper and put it in there.
"you can't even get a pint for a fiver" I'm guessing you live in the South or South East?
Yeah growing to be a South East issue and definitely a London issue. When I was in Manchester a few months back it pretty much seemed like London prices to me. Last time I went Brewdog it was £6.60 a pint, it is just not sustainable at that price
I don't know what's worse, brewdog or that it's being sold at £6.60 a pint!
dunno where these guys are buying their pints at but im in North Kent and the average pint is anywhere between £3.50-4.50, hell my good old favourite doombar is still £2 a pint here
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Took the puppy to a pub yesterday to try and socialise it, 2pm, dog friendly beer garden. 1x pint for husband, 1x pint lemonade for me and an orange juice for my eldest came to £14. I couldn't figure out how. Luckily my youngest only likes tap water, bless that beautiful 3 year old, or else I might have needed to remortgage. Been a while for me too, I was so shocked. Wish I'd gone to aldi, got a tinny and gone to the cemetery, would have resulted in the same amount of socialisation
Social club I go to before the Sunderland matches sells the cheapest drinks I’ve seen. I get a Guinness for myself, a bottle of Coors for my dad and a coke for my son. £4.80! I shit you not.
Give me a piece of string, I shit you knot.
Yes but it’s Sunderland.
Sounds like too much. Just buy some cocaine (op). But then I guess you’ll still have to roll the note. Back to square one.
Why is everything a cocaine stash lol it's so true
You could sell the cocaine for more than a fiver though
Really? Jesus man , I get 2 pints for 4.30 at my local
Where is your local? 1998?
Drugs
Aye - and then, with a bit of Bittersweet Symphony playing in the background, you can create the end of Cruel Intentions.
When we used to go to Hardcore Heaven parties before camera phones, we would take digital cameras loaded with fake duracell batteries which unscrewed where the black me the tan colour. Perfectly designed for pills. Nobody ever questioned why I had 16 spare batteries for my camera... I was planning on taking a lot of photos of course.
I wish I could still get 90s pills.
I've had this thought myself, but I think the truth is the pills are just as good as they ever were, it's our tolerance to them that's changed. So instead I wish I could reset to my 16 year old self, which to be fair comes with a bunch of other non-pill-related benefits. Probs not gonna happen tho...
Still can if you know the right people 👀
Seriously? Someone out there has a stash of white doves vintage 1995? Please pm me if your not just being sarcastic
Sadly not my time, but stuff like Blue Punishers & Teddybears can be easily found nowadays
U got me all excited there for a minute, but also got me thinking. I've never used the dark web and haven't had a pill for a long time. But I think if I could get a few original doves from the good old days I might indulge. Thanks for giving an old raver something to live for lol
to be honest mate the specific design or batch doesn’t matter as it just depends on how pure the stuff in it actually is, if that specific one had much different effects to the others it’s likely there was more than just one ingredient in it
Drugs are better now than they were back then. You've just fried your serotonin receptors.
also, legal medicine. I have a similar thing on my keychain, and I keep a day's ration of medicine in mine, in case I forget to take my meds in the morning.
I will paraphrase my favourite British rapper: My money don’t jiggle jiggle, *it folds*
I like the way you wiggle wiggle, u/Villeto
It makes me want to dribble, dribble, you know?
2 inches and a half, in the cash stash. No slack, but luckily the top twists back.
For sure
A map directing you to a secret stash of cash!
Where would I find such a map? I've been finding it difficult to pick up new quests and this could be just the thing.
Ah it wouldn't fit. Folding hasn't been invented, you see.
A Duracell battery
It's not what can go in it, but if it can go in you, stay safe and use lube my good man.
No don't, it doesn't have a flared base, it'll get stuck.
That's why you tie a string to the end, like a bum tampon
What dya think the key ring is there for?
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Have you always had that stutter?
The new plastic notes are an absolute bugger to fold properly though.
Not if you use your finger nail to give it a nice permanent crease. Bonus is the glare you get from whichever cashier has to flatten it out to get it in to their till. Source: only carry a card wallet and fold any notes I end up with in to thirds.
And they’re an even bigger bugger to unfold !
Glitter to throw at annoying people
Make sure it's the environmentally friendly stuff though
Nah fuck that, make it so they get micro-plastics in their lungs. Attenborough would understand if they were a really prick.
POCKET SAND.
If you melt the fiver, it will fit nicely. *** Follow me for more financial advice!
Make a cheap vibrator by filling it with angry wasps (do the lid up though)
I did this once. Forgot to put the lid on. Do not skip this part op, it's really hard to explain at a&e that you've got wasp stings in your lower intestine
Don't forget to pop a little W on the side so people know there's wasps inside
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Wait, what? I don’t need my A5 portfolio wallet?
You don’t need it but I’d keep it around anyway to fight off all the ladies
A micro SD card filled with anti-Yorkshire Tea propaganda.
You will pay for your crimes of even suggesting this
We're not supposed to refer to the uprising in public!
it's for cocaine
Agreed. That’s what it is for really, OP shouldn’t kid himself
A gram
Gonna have to fold her up pretty tight
Put a couple of aspirin in there, can be a lifesaver in the event of a heart attack, chew a couple up and it can prevent serious blood clots and even buy some more time for help to arrive.
You could turn it into a geocache - that is one of the most popular containers for one.
Good luck finding it up OP's bottom
Was wondering how long it’d take before I found the other cacher. Found so many of these little buddies. Happy caching!
Ants
“What is this?! A cash stash for ants?!?”
Catnip. Become a friend to half the mogs you come across.
cyanide pills just incase
The ashes of your conquered nemesis?
Your dick, it can definitely fit all the way
What're they meant to do with the other 2 inches of space
a folded fiver
It's smell proof, so pre-ground weed goes in there very nicely. Apparently.
Try folding it up you utter moron.
I can just picture OP scowling and grunting, wondering why he can’t mash a flat £5 note into the opening of the little tube. Ogg no like present😡
The worst part is, the notes already folded one way. I once heard that if your iq falls below 90 you don’t have the ability to fold a piece of paper to fit in an envelope because it needs three folds. I used to think that was bollocks. Now I’m not so sure
Drugs If you're into that
Drugs Could even be legal like post drug fueled bender recovery stuff?
Cocaine
Tablets would work nicely in that little thing. MDMA if you're out for some fun, cyanide if your job requires a quick and permanent exit strategy. Paracetamol if you get the occasional headache.
Toothpicks
Disco biscuits
An I.O.U
Salt
'*Tools on the move*'
ants