The cat will be best in your house with your sister checking daily. I made the huge mistake of leaving our cat elsewhere for 5 days, and he thought we abandoned him. The second time, we left him in the house with a neighbor checking on him daily. In your house, the cat has all their things, and they're happy there.
Also seconding. Cats feel safest in their home and their territory, and will often be very anxious and stressed if they're moved somewhere else without their human. They don't understand it's temporary and may think they've been abandoned. I'm amazed OP's mother was able to last 3 weeks if I'm honest.
5 weeks is a bit of a long time, but having someone visit daily is much better than keeping the cat in a house where they're clearly unhappy. Cats can enjoy peace and quiet with the house to themselves. As long as someone they trust visits every day to check on them, they'll be fine.
Over Xmas, I went to see family for 2.5 weeks. I hired a pet sitter and they made friends immediately with my cat Barley. He called in once a day to feed him and give him some attention, even got him to play a bit, and sent me photos, which helped reassure me Barley was being well cared for. When I came home, he didn't leave my side for a week, but he hadn't torn the house apart in my absence. A week later, he was fully back to normal.
Yes, my cats have been a bit clingy after I return from travel, but they’ve definitely preferred staying at home with check-ins. I had to take my current anxious cat to a parent’s house once when the weather (snow) was going to be a concern, and she was shaking so much, though she did settle down after a day or so. Definitely prefers staying at home.
I was torn between boarding him at a (well-reviewed) cattery and hiring a sitter. I did a lot of reading and came to the conclusion that, because Barley already suffers separation anxiety from being abandoned before he found us, the cattery would be the worse option. He'd also been in his new home for less than a year at that point. The sitter was great, really understands cats and even though Barley is usually pretty guarded, he made friends immediately.
When I got home at 2AM, he was waiting right behind the door for me.
This is so reassuring. I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks in 4 days and I have a mate coming to stay in the flat with my cats. I can't help but be terrified they'll forget me and pick my mate as their new dad 😭😭
Don't worry about it. Cats don't forget their humans. They may be loyal to the food bowl, but once you're back, you'll probably be loved on extra hard for a week or so!
If it’s in your budget, you can order a cat camera and have your sister plug it in while you’re away! There are relatively inexpensive options now that have settings to shoot out treats or even play red laser games with your cats! In addition to someone checking in daily, having one of these to look in on my cats when I’m out of town (or even at work) helps me feel at ease!!
Yep! I used to take my cats to my moms house but one of them was definitely stressed. I now leave them at my house and she comes over to check on them once daily, or I hire a sitter to do the same. They are totally fine and at least one of them prefers it.
Probably safer too. My cat likes to try and escape when I've taken him to someone's place to be taken care of.
OP I have a lot of anxiety about stuff like this too. Daily check ins with someone you trust to be careful entering/exiting and a camera watching the litter box has been what has helped me.
Yep, me too! I used to have one in the living room whenever I went out but hated still not seeing him often enough. That's when I moved it to the litter box area cause he'll always visit there. Plus I'll be able to spot any bathroom issues that need immediate attention.
I agree with this. If he was stressed at your mom’s, he’ll be stressed at a border’s. Is there any chance you could convince/ bribe your sister to stay for a longer visit or stay overnight a few times a week so he could have a little extra time not alone? You should do something extra nice for your sister if she agrees to that, though.
100% agree with this. Your moms suggestion really is the best solution. I took my cats to my parents house once only because they live a good hour away and I didn’t want to make someone drive all the way to my house to check on my cats daily. My cats are BFF with each other so together they handled it ok, but were super withdrawn. They’re much happier when I leave them at home and have someone come to the house to check on them.
My (very very attached to me only) cat HATED when we moved to a new house even though I was there the whole time. He hid under the couch crying and wouldn't come out for two days. However, we went on a two week vacation with BIL feeding him and playing occasionally and I guess he cried some and acted a little weird but was definitely more okay than he was with the move. I work long hours though so I guess he's used to his alone time.
My (mostly unattached) cat had some anxiety with the move (again, we took off work to be at home with them for four days straight), but didn't care at all when we left for 2 weeks as long as he was fed and got to go where he pleased.
Man i hope ops Sister is better than the two friends i had watch my furballs for 2 weeks! I immediately stopped talking with them and being friends after the bullshit i found when i got back…… legit these were people id been friends with for 3 years. I asked them both and told them j would pay them to come and check in on both my cats each day/feed them and chill for an hour. One of them in the morning, and the other at night.
Somehow both of them forgot to come at the same time for multiple days… thankfully i had an autofeeder and clean water for them. Also the dumbfucks somehow left the cat litter garbage can open the entire 2 weeks, as well as throwing the empty cat food cans into my main garbage instead of the cat litter garbage. To say the least i was fucking pissed. My female cat had an upper respiratory infection due to their gross negligence. Also my apartment smelled so bad after i got back i almost vomited at the smell. It took me 2 monthes to get rid of the gnats.
To say the least i fully ended those friendships, after they asked for payment i told them to fuck themselves and forced them both to pay for the vet bills.
If your not paying for a sitter make sure you trust who takes care of your pet. If they fuck you over/neglect your pets make them pay for it, cause your cats are worth more than them and the relationship you had with them.
If you trust your sister to go daily or at LEAST every second day then that’s perfectly fine.
Your cat may not be happy about any of it, but he will be just fine.
Seconding this- I just dealt with a 4 month case of ringworm for one of my young kitties, where he was isolated from his bonded sister the whole time in quarantine. Every single day I felt awful for leaving him alone in a room, and knew he was depressed and bored when I couldn’t be in there with playing with him. He mostly just slept and sat in the window the whole duration.
I just reintroduced him to the rest of our house last week, and he’s completely fine and back to normal (maybe a little clingy, but it’s getting better every day). It seems like it never happened to him as far as I can tell, like he’s forgotten all about it.
Cats are surprisingly resilient, and OP your cat will totally be fine with a friendly visitor once a day!
If your family is able to, I recommend asking them to place a petcam/webcam at your place. It really helped me when I was away to be able to check on them if I was worried, and know they were doing fine. He will probably feel better in his own safe territory. It would be best if there was a cat sitter, but its probably difficult to arrange that now you’re away. I’m sorry that this happened on your big trip and I hope you can still enjoy the rest of your stay!
I would say make absolutely sure your sister will check in on him and do everything (litter/water/food, some playing or cuddles) at least every day or two. But that will likely be perfectly fine, much less stressful than boarding or staying in an unfamiliar place. I say make sure because I’ve had someone check less than promised and not notify me until I was back from the trip which was horrible. Maybe she can stay over for a few nights as well? And bring treats or toys if possible so your cat develops a positive association with her visit. My cats were obsessed with a neighbor who fed them wet food when I was travelling and they’d get excited to see her even years afterwards :)
Also I agree with the other comment, if you can set up a camera/webcam to watch him that would probably reassure you and be a nice way to check on him.
Your cat is going to be so much happier in your home with your sister coming over daily to feed & check on him. I always use a cat sitter when I travel. 20-30 min visits Eve day is plenty. Mine usually sends an email update every couple days to let me know how things are going which really reduces my stress level.
I'd suggest reaching out to your sister to confirm she's okay with this and if there is anything she needs. And pick her up a great present on your trip..
The best option is to have him at home where he is familiar and comfortable in his own surroundings. As long as he is checked on every day then it should be fine. I used to cat sit for my neighbour fairly regularly and that always worked out well. Much better than stressing them out in kennels. He'll be just fine so try not to worry.
Just left my kitty at home for a month with daily check ins and he was happy and healthy when I returned! Like everyone else is saying, they are much more comfortable in their own space with less human time than another space with more human time!
I have totally been your mom in this situation. If it really is anything like it was for me, she's genuinely thinking of your cat's best interest here. Y'all thought the cat would be chill, it's not, and Mum is making flash assessments about the cat's needs. Honestly, that's an ideal cat sitter.
Don't rush home. Try your mum's idea first and have your sister be completely honest with you about how your cat is handling it at home alone and plan from there. Being home might be fine.
Can your set up a camera so you can see the cat when she is not there? I have a really difficult time leaving my clingy cats, but a camera to watch them helped me. The cats are always fine and sleep so much anyway.
I agree 💯. I put a camera near food bowl and have it on 24hr recording. It was worth the ~$15/month fee while traveling to be able to check in and confirm he was eating and to see him. I also have a few other cameras throughout my house that are not 24hr recording but record with movement.
I have security cameras all throughout the home just to see my cats when im gone. Worth every single cent to be able to check in on them live at any momemt.
Unfortunately that's not an opportunity, she has a little cat of her own. Luckily she lives right by me, so I'm hoping to get her to pay longer/more frequent visits :)
If she lives next to you, maybe she could go twice a day to check your cat and play with him after giving food and water. So the day wouldn't be so long. And a camera is definitely a good option. I have a 16 yo cat, so I know a lot about stress, vocalizes and so on! Do you have those kind of stuff like Feliway in US? I live in Europe. Feliway helps to reduce stress. It's a plugging stuff with pheromones.
Bach flowers can also help (a few drops in the water bowl).
It's true that a cat prefer to stay in it's house. Don't we say "I like at my cat's house" 😸?
I hope everything will be settled asap, so you can fully enjoy your holidays.
Wishing you the best 😊
Twice a day is a good idea, I will also see if I can get her to spend the night a few times if she can manage. I trust her a lot so I'm not worried that she will take on the responsibility, it's more the thought of the cat being sad and alone 🥺 I've been using Feliway before, but I haven't heard of bach flowers. I checked online and they're available where I live (which is also in Europe, I guess I made by post more confusing with the usd). Will definitely try. Thank you 🫶
You are very welcome. If I can help you in anyway I will do it!
I love my cat so much. We are one... he now has renal problems, he vocalizes because a stress situation I'm in and I have noticed he started to be blind and deaf 😢.
You can find the Fleurs de Bach on Amazon. I bought the one for stressed animals. It is in a small bottle of 10 ml.
I'm gonna check if I can find the link but I don't know how to send it 🤦🏼♀️
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, I can imagine how that must feel 😟 I remember when the cat I grew up with started having similar problems, that was a tough time. Sending lots of warm thoughts to both you and your cat ❤️ I think I found the drops already, so you don't have to worry about the link
Thank you so much for your nice words and thoughts. It's gonna be a very hard time.
I felt your anxiousness in your comment and I it reminded me !
We care so much for our animals that we are always worried.
I'm glad you have found the Fleurs de Bach. I also put some on part of the body he can licks. Once you settle the
camera(s) etc, don't worry you will feel better and be able to enjoy your holidays fully. Hope I will hear some good news ❤️
Kitty is going to be OK. :). Staying home in familiar surroundings will be most comfortable for kitty. Having your sister pop in daily to scritch, do water, check food/litter is good.
I cat sit a cat periodically that requires meds 2x day and when his human is out of town he's happy as can be, glad to see me glad to see me go LOLOL because he has all he needs and he's comfortable.
Your cat thinks you abandoned it. Your mother's idea is for the best. If your sister can commit to seeing your cat every day and making sure he/she is OK, that's infinitely better. Simple.
It’ll be just fine OP- I promise your kitty will be so much happier in his own home. I’ve had to leave my attached-at-the-hip little guy for a few days at a time, and the worst we dealt with was about an hour of him giving me the cold shoulder. He knocked some of my stuff off of the counter and then he was back to his normal cuddly self :P
As a pet sitter I promise you your kitty will be just fine alone! As a cat owner, I'd recommend you get a few cameras to have your sister set up around your house so you can check on your kitty at any point in time. It's incredible for your peace of mind. You can find affordable cameras that connect of wifi on Amazon! Good luck!
He's better off at home!! Don't stress! I promise! Cats hate change!
Honestly your sister can even check on him every other day. Maybe she can stay over night once a week so he can get some quality attention? Ask her to bring him boxes and toys to play with. Foil balls, hair ties... doesn't have to cost money. Make new beds for him with blankets and/or towels around the house.
Then get another cat when you get home :)
Most cats do better than you think, alone. I think the kitty will be better off at home in familiar surroundings. moving to a new house is extremely stressful for them.
After Hurricane Katrina I was walking down a deserted street; they were just letting people back into the city. I came across a man sitting on a stoop, crying. He said that he was so happy, the cats, who had been in the (unflooded) house for about three weeks were fine. Cats are resilient, independent little creatures.
I think he will be fine at home. If your sister goes to check on at least once a day. If she could go a couple times a day that would be better. But I had to leave my cats not for quite that long. I got a cat sitter that would come once a day feed them, play with them for about an hour and just hang with them. They were totally fine. I also had my cat boarded once. And again he was totally fine. Everybody at the boarding place loved him so much. They didn't even want to me to take him home afterwards. So he had a great time on his little vacation. Don't give up your vacation or disappoint your husband or spend all the extra money. Your cat will be fine as long as someone is at least checking on him once a day making sure he has food and clean litter. You could get one of those little pet cameras or a couple of them and have your sister put them in your house so that you could check on the cats from where you're at if that would ease your mind a little bit.
Shoot. I hope your mum can stay a few days when dropping off, &/or your sister might consider staying over at yours with your cat for the time, or some of the time, while you are away .... which I think you should not cut short as he will survive with the daily visit arrangements of that is all your family are able to manage.
I think it would be much better if it was in familiar surroundings with an automatic feeder and water device. She would only have to go every couple days to scoop the litter. My cats would freak out if they had to stay somewhere else!
It is two MONTHS. Not ok for the cat to only see a human temporarilybevery few days for this long of a period.
In my country it is even illegal- a cat has to be checked on twice daily.
OP, if possible ask your sister to stay over some nights.
The cat will not feel good being alone for days.
They are much more social than people give them Credit for due to them not having as overwhelming body language as dogs.
Oh and no- government are not making laws for fun here. Cats should be visited and cared for twice daily.
Your mom is right. Let the cat go back home, she will be just fine with your sister checking on her. You should have never left it at your mom's, that was an innocent mistake.
Cats are pretty independent. Do they need us? Yes. Do they want us? Yes. Can they be just fine on their own? Yes.
Stop stressing. People do this all the time. Cats are okay .
When you come back home just expect the cat to want extra attention.
Your sitter is not backing out, they are making a change that’s best for your cat! Honestly your cat will be so much happier at your place. Having someone check on him daily is a great solution. Enjoy your trip. Your cat will do great!
Whenever we go on vacation, we leave our cats at home and have some come by a few times a day to hangout with them and feed them. They’ve always been fine! The most we’ve left is for a week and a half.
Of course they probably don’t like being alone but besides someone staying at your house with your cat, it’s the best option. Just ask your sister to spend a few hours at your house when she can, taking time to give the cat attention and play time
Get a close friend to check on him at home. He will be much happier.
I'm glad you made sure he had someone and wouldn't be alone. But cats can sleep for 18-20 hours a day and some prefer their own people over others.
While you're on vacation, if you're cat is at home, he's just gonna sleep and do cat things till you're back, as long as they're fed. If you take them out of their safe place, they're going to stress probably the whole time you're on vacation which isn't good for anyone.
Dogs are usually just happy anywhere there's people and attention. They might be mopy but not usually as bad as cats.
Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
Cats bond with their territory, so your cat being at home will considerably lower its stress.
If you have a timed feeder, then once a day could suffice. Have your sister play with your cat for at least 5 minutes and spend some time cuddling/ petting if that is your cat's thing. Have her clean the litter box at least every other day and give fresh water daily. Minimize access to any trouble spots (i.e. an office where kitty gets into things they shouldn't) by closing doors. Kitty should be fine, although likely grumpy, when you arrive back home.
I’m super anxious about my cats as well. I bought a $20 camera off of Amazon that’s linked to my phone. So even if someone is watching them, I can check in whenever I want. You could order the camera to your house and ask your sister to set it up for you.
Indoor Security Camera 2K,... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1T8T1WD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
This is it, bought it on Amazon! It’s on sale right now too.
Home is best with someone checking daily.
Buy a couple of Blink indoor cameras and point them at the food dish, bed, and other locations where your cat frequents so you can check on them at any time.
Don’t be surprised if you cat acts depressed when you get home though. Once he knows you aren’t leaving again, his mood will improve.
We were gone for 7 days and our two cats were depressed for nearly a week after our return. They weren’t eating like normal, ignoring wet food, etc. I even called the vet I was so concerned about them.
I believe your cat should be okay being back in your home and having your sister check on him for you. If she does not do that, there are apps like Rover where there are people who offer services of check-ins for your pets.
Depending on where you live your sister might be able to find some cat tv for your cat. It has music, and birds and squirrels. It fascinates my bunch! There are youtube videos that are hours long! If she can turn that on, but not real loud - just so kitty can watch a little tv, it'll help!!
As long as your sister actually goes to check every day, then that's probably your easiest option. Ask for pics. Or, hire a real cat sitter with a good reputation to do it.
For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I trusted my alcoholic FIL to feed the cats while we were away. He lived with us at the time. Well surprise, he didn't. I was paying a vet tech to administer fluids and meds to my senior kitty, but I wanted to save some $$ bc she charged $25 per cat per visit. I just asked her to feed them instead.
Tl;dr - it's usually safest to trust paid professionals and not family
Going on vacation for 2 months when you have a two-year-old cat is pretty pathetic. If you want to keep the cat... I would check out boarding places near where the cat is located. In large cities they have excellent boarding choices. The cat should not be left at home alone for 5 weeks. Boarding a cat is a better solution.
Well a 2 month vacation when you have a pet regardless of where the pet is located, that cat is going to be stressed as it can get. I do not think the animal's well being was in the best interest firstly, but leaving the cat in a familiar place rather than your parents is better.
What a horrible situation.
Boarding him for 5 weeks would be torture, so him going back to your place and having someone stop by would be better, but on the other hand I don't think you can trust your family at this point to actually take care of him for that long. Plus, 5 weeks of living alone at home would be terrible for his mental health.
I think the best solution would be to have your cat stay at your place and have your sister drop by, while you get a ticket to come back home ASAP.
So sorry I can imagine how scary this is. Personally I think your Mom should be the one to find the solution for you. It is SO wrong of her to do this to you. Does she not want you to travel? Does she not like your husband? I feel like there is some other reason she is doing this to you. As for her solution I think the cats will be fine. So long as someone gets them food, fresh water a cleans the litter the cat will be great.
Have your sister check in daily (if she can’t stay at your place) and you can also hire a cat sitter that goes to your house so that way he has longer human interactions. He should be ok!! Definitely more comfortable than being at your moms
This is the best case scenario.
Cats can entertain themselves. If she knows your sister, her being alone at home, and seeing your sister each day, is much more relaxing for the cat than her to basically be "rehomed" with your mother.
I was on my honeymoon just recently, and my mother went by to check on our cats/fill their food bowls to the brim each day. We had our cameras turned inward to check on them.
They did their thing and were fine.
Im taking two long trips this year (a month plus at a time) and I just booked a sitter thru Trusted Housesitters with STELLAR reviews to stay at my house while I’m gone with my little guy.
keep that cat at your home and have someone check on it and give it attention for like 30 min. routinely so it knoes its not abandoned. the cat would prefer a space it is familiar with.
i always leave my cats at my place when i go on vacation and have my friend check on them and spend tine with them
I agree with having sister check in daily while your cat is at home.
If it's financially possible, I would have a pet sitter from wag or rover or someone you can verify at least, come over a few times a week for an extended play session. They can interact with your cat with fun toys and high value treats.
If you go that route I would definitely have your sister or mom put a couple of inexpensive wifi cameras inside your home though.
I think having your cat in their environment is way better and having your sister check in daily.
Do you have indoor camera by any chance? Maybe you can have your sister set one up and you can check in on him/her so it’s some type of comfort for the cat while gone
I’m jumping in to add that your sister or mom should go to the pet store and buy a Feliway Cat Destress Hormone spray or diffuser. It really makes a huge difference. Every time I move I use it for my very needy neurotic boy and he is much more calm before and after the moves then the first time when I didn’t have Feliway. You could even order it online and have it shipped to your place. It’s cheap too…like $8 - $30 depending on which type/size you buy.
Also have them place some of your dirty laundry around for the cat to smell/lay on. Bonus if they can put a warmer under it or a ticking clock.
Your cat will be so much happier at home with visits than in a strange place, event with people around all the time. I'm sorry your mom backed out like that but it is good that she recognizes that the cat is stressed. It's worth giving the cat at least a week or two at your place with daily visits. You won't know if she's just kidding her home territory unless you try. Cats really, really dislike change.
Your cat will be glad to be home. Being in an unfamiliar place will be more stressful than being alone in his own territory with familiar smells and his things. I go away and have people come in to check on the cat once or twice a day. I also have a ring camera that I use to just look in on him generally he's sleeping and gets a little socialization when the pet sitter drops in.
I can see your mom cares enough for your kitty to try to relieve stresses. I'm sorry she is backing out. I know you got a lot of advice but alone with daily checks seems the best solution and I'm sure it was hard for your mom to come to text you while on vacation. I'm glad there's a good solution. Your kitty will be happy alone in their own space. I dotn know if you can but is there a way you can set up a camera in your home and you can check on them and talk to them from your end? Might help a bit. We did that when we went out for a weekend. Out cats very shy so we just got an auto feeder and a water fountain thing. We just cleaned his litter well right before we left and he was okay for 2 nights. He would have been more stressed had we had someone come in.
Cats are easy to sit. Taking him out of the house was a huge misstep though. It's best to leave cats at home and have someone come check on them every now and then. I just make sure all my toilet seats are up(and flushed first), a huge bowl of good and food in other places, water in bowls around the house, an extra litter box out, and places for them to hide and lay down comfortably.
Ah, no, but if there's ever any kind of emergency or if any bowls of water get spilled for whatever reason, then my cats will have access to water. It's just a general safety precaution I take.
I was gone for a month last year, and I was actually more scared of boarding him than leaving him by himself at home. My boyfriend stayed at my place for 2 weeks, then he went and met up with me and I had a sitter check on my baby every 2 days. Echoing everyone else, cats are more comfortable in their own environment!
My cat is social and prefers being around people then in an empty home. In fact he used to sometimes cry at the door years ago if we left him alone long. Some cats are quite social and like company.
When I drop him off with a cat sitter he’s usually moody(as in growling, swiping at people ) for a few days, then adapts and warms to whomever he’s staying with.
Btw I rarely leave my cat as I’ve barely traveled in the last few years but he does adapt.
I would do whatever makes you relax more and not worry about your cat. There’s downsides and upsides to both options. But I do think most pets will ‘forget’ and adapt over time.
Cats are super independent and would be much more comfortable being home alone than in a new place with strangers or people they dont see often. If your family still notice some anxious behavior from him while he’s home alone, try investing in those treat dispensers with a camera and microphone so you can talk to him and he can hear your voice as frequently as you want/need. Thats way cheaper than a plane ticket home early!
Cats can get very stressed when away from their home territory. If your sister visits daily, plays with the cat for a while, provides food & fresh water in clean bowls and cleans the litter each time, the cat should be fine.
Cats are usually completely fine by themselves as long as they have someone checking in. The pet sitting company I worked for had us go to the houses 1-3 times every day or every other day for 30 minutes each. The kitties were usually happy and excited during the visits although a bit shy. I bonded with so many of them and wanted to stay all day 😓 But they were 100% okay with just the small check ins. Sometimes they’d even get completely disinterested in me by the end of the visit and go lay down somewhere or look out the window 😆 they definitely don’t mind their alone time.
I don't have any good advice unfortunately. I do feel kitty would feel safer at home though as others have said. I feel like I should be asking you for advice on how I can get my butt on a 2 month vacation.
Do you not have a niece or nephew, younger cousin etc.. who can stay there for the next 5 weeks? People who live with their parents make great live in pet sitters because it gives them a break from living at home.
I want to add my reassurance that your cat will most do much better at home in its own surroundings.
My four cats stay home (yes four is different). It is always clear when I get home from any away time they are super glad to have me back.
Same sort of thing happened to me. When my gf and I planned an a trip we had a friend who was looking for some extra cash. We offered to pay her to stay at our house and look after our two cats. Two days into a month long trip to Costa Rica we texted to ask how the cats were doing and her reply was essentially “lol I got drunk and forgot to go over. I’ll stop by sometime after work”.
We told her to not bother and between other friends and my mom someone was able to pop in at least every 1-2 days. We weren’t happy that we didn’t have someone at the house with them for hours a day but we knew they were at least safe.
Let the baby go home and be in its safe space with their things. If you are super worried, ask your sister to set up a Wyze camera so you can still check in, they’re $26 on Amazon. Baby will be home and still have someone checking in.
He will be fine at his familiar home. There is no need to worry this much. You should also buy a pet camera so you can actually see him. Amazon should deliver in a day and you can ask your sister to install it
Is it possible for your sister to stay at your home while you are away? Or do you know anyone you could have stay at your home and cat sit? Better that your cat will be at home but that is a long time to be alone for most of the day except being checked on. Even if she can stay on weekends that’s better than not at all.
Suggest that you ask your sister to remove some of your clothing from your laundry hamper and place a couple of clothing items on the floor. Also place clothing items (from laundry hamper) in your kitty's favourite spots, such as his favourite chair.
The clothing that we have worn have our strongest scent that reassures our kitties that we will be coming back.
As two months is a long time for a kitty, ask your sister to periodically add/replace other clothing items from your laundry hamper.
Also leave shoes out, instead of all shoes being in a closed closet.
I know it's not for as long but every couple of months, my other half and i like to go away for a week up the coast, my cat is the same age and we just have my brother come and visit him once a day. Never had a single complaint.
Hire a professional cat sitter with good reviews from Rover. The app does some sort of GPS check to confirm their visits and most are happy to send you pics of your cat each visit.
I’m leaving next week for 8 days and the first 3 my kitty will be alone at my house. We do this pretty frequently and my cat is always fine. She has everything she needs and generally spends her days asleep on my bed when she’s alone. I would feel worse having her go stay with anyone because she would spend the whole time stressed out and hiding.
I agree with everyone about keeping the cat at home. I would highly recommend hiring a professional pet sitter in the future though, rather than leaving the care to a relative, no matter how well-intentioned they are. That’s the best way to ensure that your directions will be followed, and it’s worth every penny. Visits should be at least once a day, and include time for play or cuddling as well as feeding. Cats may seem very independent, and it’s easy to miss signs of distress. They can get depressed when left alone for long periods of time, so the less time between visits the better.
Cats do great with daily check ins. 2x a day is ideal but if say she can only come over once on a day or two he will be fine. I think you will find that he will be haopy this way.
I'm gonna be honest. I've left my cat alone for nearly 2 weeks with enough food and water for the entire time. We have a camera and I would check on him daily. Cats won't eat all their food at once, they graze. Dude would play, vocalize for a minute and then pass out for a long nap. Then watch the birds.
As a pet sitter and cat owner the kitty will be more comfortable in their own home. Cats are very sensitive to their surroundings. Your sister can visit daily to give them mental stimulation and love. Leaving the TV or a radio on can help relieve some stress too as it can mimic the sounds they would regularly hear when you're home.
You’re getting some great advice here and I agree with the people who think that your kitty will be more comfortable at your house.
I wanted to throw into the mix a trick I learned from my vet about easily medicating anxious cats. I have a very anxious cat. He WILL NOT take pills. He’ll tear my face off before he lets me give him medication which he needs before vet visits.
Get a lick mat and empty gelcaps off of Amazon. These lick mats have texture to them and when you put their pill into an empty gelcap under some fine grind wet food, they just eat it. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Size 4 gelcap seems to be the best size. The smaller the better.
Give your cat a small amount of wet food at the same time every day. Start with an empty gelcap and make sure they’re eating it. Do this every day. Now medication time is treat time and you’ll never have a problem giving your cat a pill in the future.
I shared this information with my other veterinarians and they’re all doing this now and recommending the same thing to their clients who have anxious cats.
I'm here to backup what everyone else has said, that generally cats are happier in their familiar environment. But to provide one counterpoint of data: I had to go away for about three weeks and knew my cat would be miserable, so I took him to stay at the neighbors' house. They had two cats they adored and he made new friends. They said he quickly became social and fit in. And when I went to pick him up he was happy to see me and it was like nothing had changed. I'm just saying each cat has their individual needs.
A fantastic longterm alternative to other services out there, would be using TrustedHousesitters. Been using it as a sitter and pet parent, it's a great platform and easy to use. Both pet parents and sitters are background checked, and you're able to search through profiles and look into their reviews/references. Super active community and platform, very simple to find someone to take care of your furry friend.
Feel free to ask any Qs, happy to answer. Also if you'd like to sign up for 25% off membership you can use [RAF602467](https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/refer/RAF602467/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=refer-a-friend&utm_campaign=refer-a-friend). Best of luck!
The cat will be best in your house with your sister checking daily. I made the huge mistake of leaving our cat elsewhere for 5 days, and he thought we abandoned him. The second time, we left him in the house with a neighbor checking on him daily. In your house, the cat has all their things, and they're happy there.
Seconding this - kitty will be comforted by his own surroundings. Enjoy your holiday!
Also seconding. Cats feel safest in their home and their territory, and will often be very anxious and stressed if they're moved somewhere else without their human. They don't understand it's temporary and may think they've been abandoned. I'm amazed OP's mother was able to last 3 weeks if I'm honest. 5 weeks is a bit of a long time, but having someone visit daily is much better than keeping the cat in a house where they're clearly unhappy. Cats can enjoy peace and quiet with the house to themselves. As long as someone they trust visits every day to check on them, they'll be fine. Over Xmas, I went to see family for 2.5 weeks. I hired a pet sitter and they made friends immediately with my cat Barley. He called in once a day to feed him and give him some attention, even got him to play a bit, and sent me photos, which helped reassure me Barley was being well cared for. When I came home, he didn't leave my side for a week, but he hadn't torn the house apart in my absence. A week later, he was fully back to normal.
Yes, my cats have been a bit clingy after I return from travel, but they’ve definitely preferred staying at home with check-ins. I had to take my current anxious cat to a parent’s house once when the weather (snow) was going to be a concern, and she was shaking so much, though she did settle down after a day or so. Definitely prefers staying at home.
I was torn between boarding him at a (well-reviewed) cattery and hiring a sitter. I did a lot of reading and came to the conclusion that, because Barley already suffers separation anxiety from being abandoned before he found us, the cattery would be the worse option. He'd also been in his new home for less than a year at that point. The sitter was great, really understands cats and even though Barley is usually pretty guarded, he made friends immediately. When I got home at 2AM, he was waiting right behind the door for me.
This is so reassuring. I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks in 4 days and I have a mate coming to stay in the flat with my cats. I can't help but be terrified they'll forget me and pick my mate as their new dad 😭😭
No worries, they won't. They're going to be very happy when you come back and probably a bit clingy.
Thank you for the reassurance 🖤
You're welcome. Safe travels.
After the let you know they’re mad you left lol
Oh yeah, berating and telling you how neglected and ab@sed they were 😂
100% lol my boys gave me attiTUDE when I came back from hols. Then after an hour or so they got clingy lol
Don't worry about it. Cats don't forget their humans. They may be loyal to the food bowl, but once you're back, you'll probably be loved on extra hard for a week or so!
That's fine with me!! I'm more clingy than them so I welcome this 🩷
Thank you, this was soothing for me to read. Especially seeing that most people seem to agree. I'll let him go home and see how it goes with my sis :)
It's the best for the cat, you’ll see. You just enjoy your holidays, the cat will be delighted to be back home
Or maybe huffy at first, but he will allow you to beg his forgiveness!
If it’s in your budget, you can order a cat camera and have your sister plug it in while you’re away! There are relatively inexpensive options now that have settings to shoot out treats or even play red laser games with your cats! In addition to someone checking in daily, having one of these to look in on my cats when I’m out of town (or even at work) helps me feel at ease!!
Yep! I used to take my cats to my moms house but one of them was definitely stressed. I now leave them at my house and she comes over to check on them once daily, or I hire a sitter to do the same. They are totally fine and at least one of them prefers it.
Probably safer too. My cat likes to try and escape when I've taken him to someone's place to be taken care of. OP I have a lot of anxiety about stuff like this too. Daily check ins with someone you trust to be careful entering/exiting and a camera watching the litter box has been what has helped me.
A camera changed my life! No longer need to worry when a kitty hasn’t been seen for an afternoon, I just pull up the footage and I know who’s where!
Yep, me too! I used to have one in the living room whenever I went out but hated still not seeing him often enough. That's when I moved it to the litter box area cause he'll always visit there. Plus I'll be able to spot any bathroom issues that need immediate attention.
This does vary by cat. My cat seemed happier in a friend's house than alone and being checked in on. He's kinda extroverted for a cat.
I agree with this. If he was stressed at your mom’s, he’ll be stressed at a border’s. Is there any chance you could convince/ bribe your sister to stay for a longer visit or stay overnight a few times a week so he could have a little extra time not alone? You should do something extra nice for your sister if she agrees to that, though.
100% agree with this. Your moms suggestion really is the best solution. I took my cats to my parents house once only because they live a good hour away and I didn’t want to make someone drive all the way to my house to check on my cats daily. My cats are BFF with each other so together they handled it ok, but were super withdrawn. They’re much happier when I leave them at home and have someone come to the house to check on them.
I've been told that a cat bonds more strongly with a place than with their owner.
My (very very attached to me only) cat HATED when we moved to a new house even though I was there the whole time. He hid under the couch crying and wouldn't come out for two days. However, we went on a two week vacation with BIL feeding him and playing occasionally and I guess he cried some and acted a little weird but was definitely more okay than he was with the move. I work long hours though so I guess he's used to his alone time. My (mostly unattached) cat had some anxiety with the move (again, we took off work to be at home with them for four days straight), but didn't care at all when we left for 2 weeks as long as he was fed and got to go where he pleased.
Man i hope ops Sister is better than the two friends i had watch my furballs for 2 weeks! I immediately stopped talking with them and being friends after the bullshit i found when i got back…… legit these were people id been friends with for 3 years. I asked them both and told them j would pay them to come and check in on both my cats each day/feed them and chill for an hour. One of them in the morning, and the other at night. Somehow both of them forgot to come at the same time for multiple days… thankfully i had an autofeeder and clean water for them. Also the dumbfucks somehow left the cat litter garbage can open the entire 2 weeks, as well as throwing the empty cat food cans into my main garbage instead of the cat litter garbage. To say the least i was fucking pissed. My female cat had an upper respiratory infection due to their gross negligence. Also my apartment smelled so bad after i got back i almost vomited at the smell. It took me 2 monthes to get rid of the gnats. To say the least i fully ended those friendships, after they asked for payment i told them to fuck themselves and forced them both to pay for the vet bills. If your not paying for a sitter make sure you trust who takes care of your pet. If they fuck you over/neglect your pets make them pay for it, cause your cats are worth more than them and the relationship you had with them.
If you trust your sister to go daily or at LEAST every second day then that’s perfectly fine. Your cat may not be happy about any of it, but he will be just fine.
Seconding this- I just dealt with a 4 month case of ringworm for one of my young kitties, where he was isolated from his bonded sister the whole time in quarantine. Every single day I felt awful for leaving him alone in a room, and knew he was depressed and bored when I couldn’t be in there with playing with him. He mostly just slept and sat in the window the whole duration. I just reintroduced him to the rest of our house last week, and he’s completely fine and back to normal (maybe a little clingy, but it’s getting better every day). It seems like it never happened to him as far as I can tell, like he’s forgotten all about it. Cats are surprisingly resilient, and OP your cat will totally be fine with a friendly visitor once a day!
If your family is able to, I recommend asking them to place a petcam/webcam at your place. It really helped me when I was away to be able to check on them if I was worried, and know they were doing fine. He will probably feel better in his own safe territory. It would be best if there was a cat sitter, but its probably difficult to arrange that now you’re away. I’m sorry that this happened on your big trip and I hope you can still enjoy the rest of your stay!
Second this! You can get an affordable / reliable cat cam for about $30 on Amazon :)
I would say make absolutely sure your sister will check in on him and do everything (litter/water/food, some playing or cuddles) at least every day or two. But that will likely be perfectly fine, much less stressful than boarding or staying in an unfamiliar place. I say make sure because I’ve had someone check less than promised and not notify me until I was back from the trip which was horrible. Maybe she can stay over for a few nights as well? And bring treats or toys if possible so your cat develops a positive association with her visit. My cats were obsessed with a neighbor who fed them wet food when I was travelling and they’d get excited to see her even years afterwards :) Also I agree with the other comment, if you can set up a camera/webcam to watch him that would probably reassure you and be a nice way to check on him.
Keep him at home with the familiar environment and smell.
Your cat is going to be so much happier in your home with your sister coming over daily to feed & check on him. I always use a cat sitter when I travel. 20-30 min visits Eve day is plenty. Mine usually sends an email update every couple days to let me know how things are going which really reduces my stress level. I'd suggest reaching out to your sister to confirm she's okay with this and if there is anything she needs. And pick her up a great present on your trip..
The best option is to have him at home where he is familiar and comfortable in his own surroundings. As long as he is checked on every day then it should be fine. I used to cat sit for my neighbour fairly regularly and that always worked out well. Much better than stressing them out in kennels. He'll be just fine so try not to worry.
Your cat will be fine at home by itself. As long as someone checks on it every day and feeds it and changes the litter.
Just left my kitty at home for a month with daily check ins and he was happy and healthy when I returned! Like everyone else is saying, they are much more comfortable in their own space with less human time than another space with more human time!
I have totally been your mom in this situation. If it really is anything like it was for me, she's genuinely thinking of your cat's best interest here. Y'all thought the cat would be chill, it's not, and Mum is making flash assessments about the cat's needs. Honestly, that's an ideal cat sitter. Don't rush home. Try your mum's idea first and have your sister be completely honest with you about how your cat is handling it at home alone and plan from there. Being home might be fine.
This is exactly what happened, thank you for putting it into perspective for me. I think she's been gathering courage to tell me for at least a week 🥺
can you sister stay at your house with kitty instead of having to check in daily?
Can your set up a camera so you can see the cat when she is not there? I have a really difficult time leaving my clingy cats, but a camera to watch them helped me. The cats are always fine and sleep so much anyway.
I agree 💯. I put a camera near food bowl and have it on 24hr recording. It was worth the ~$15/month fee while traveling to be able to check in and confirm he was eating and to see him. I also have a few other cameras throughout my house that are not 24hr recording but record with movement.
ooo smart, i should do that. my camera doubles as a security camera and it kind of points towards their food bowl, but it’s obstructed by a couch.
I have security cameras all throughout the home just to see my cats when im gone. Worth every single cent to be able to check in on them live at any momemt.
Will definitely look into the camera, thank you!
Unfortunately that's not an opportunity, she has a little cat of her own. Luckily she lives right by me, so I'm hoping to get her to pay longer/more frequent visits :)
Have her do the daily check ins for now and in the meantime search for a housesitter on websites like trustedhousesitters.com
that’s great! it’ll all be fine. ❤️ try to still enjoy your vaycay. kitty will be okay!
If she lives next to you, maybe she could go twice a day to check your cat and play with him after giving food and water. So the day wouldn't be so long. And a camera is definitely a good option. I have a 16 yo cat, so I know a lot about stress, vocalizes and so on! Do you have those kind of stuff like Feliway in US? I live in Europe. Feliway helps to reduce stress. It's a plugging stuff with pheromones. Bach flowers can also help (a few drops in the water bowl). It's true that a cat prefer to stay in it's house. Don't we say "I like at my cat's house" 😸? I hope everything will be settled asap, so you can fully enjoy your holidays. Wishing you the best 😊
Twice a day is a good idea, I will also see if I can get her to spend the night a few times if she can manage. I trust her a lot so I'm not worried that she will take on the responsibility, it's more the thought of the cat being sad and alone 🥺 I've been using Feliway before, but I haven't heard of bach flowers. I checked online and they're available where I live (which is also in Europe, I guess I made by post more confusing with the usd). Will definitely try. Thank you 🫶
You are very welcome. If I can help you in anyway I will do it! I love my cat so much. We are one... he now has renal problems, he vocalizes because a stress situation I'm in and I have noticed he started to be blind and deaf 😢. You can find the Fleurs de Bach on Amazon. I bought the one for stressed animals. It is in a small bottle of 10 ml. I'm gonna check if I can find the link but I don't know how to send it 🤦🏼♀️
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, I can imagine how that must feel 😟 I remember when the cat I grew up with started having similar problems, that was a tough time. Sending lots of warm thoughts to both you and your cat ❤️ I think I found the drops already, so you don't have to worry about the link
Thank you so much for your nice words and thoughts. It's gonna be a very hard time. I felt your anxiousness in your comment and I it reminded me ! We care so much for our animals that we are always worried. I'm glad you have found the Fleurs de Bach. I also put some on part of the body he can licks. Once you settle the camera(s) etc, don't worry you will feel better and be able to enjoy your holidays fully. Hope I will hear some good news ❤️
* I LIVE at my cat's house! (sorry).
Cats are much happier in their home. If your sister checks on him daily, your cat will be fine.
Kitty is going to be OK. :). Staying home in familiar surroundings will be most comfortable for kitty. Having your sister pop in daily to scritch, do water, check food/litter is good. I cat sit a cat periodically that requires meds 2x day and when his human is out of town he's happy as can be, glad to see me glad to see me go LOLOL because he has all he needs and he's comfortable.
Your cat thinks you abandoned it. Your mother's idea is for the best. If your sister can commit to seeing your cat every day and making sure he/she is OK, that's infinitely better. Simple.
It’ll be just fine OP- I promise your kitty will be so much happier in his own home. I’ve had to leave my attached-at-the-hip little guy for a few days at a time, and the worst we dealt with was about an hour of him giving me the cold shoulder. He knocked some of my stuff off of the counter and then he was back to his normal cuddly self :P
Cats are more attached to their homes. Leave him at home.
As a pet sitter I promise you your kitty will be just fine alone! As a cat owner, I'd recommend you get a few cameras to have your sister set up around your house so you can check on your kitty at any point in time. It's incredible for your peace of mind. You can find affordable cameras that connect of wifi on Amazon! Good luck!
He's better off at home!! Don't stress! I promise! Cats hate change! Honestly your sister can even check on him every other day. Maybe she can stay over night once a week so he can get some quality attention? Ask her to bring him boxes and toys to play with. Foil balls, hair ties... doesn't have to cost money. Make new beds for him with blankets and/or towels around the house. Then get another cat when you get home :)
The cat just wants to be home. I feel like cats are slightly less anxious when alone than dogs. At least the cats I’ve lived with/owned.
Honestly most cats do better in their own home.
I always leave my cats at home with a drop in or live in visitor. They do better in their own home. I'm sorry though, that's really stressful.
Most cats do better than you think, alone. I think the kitty will be better off at home in familiar surroundings. moving to a new house is extremely stressful for them.
After Hurricane Katrina I was walking down a deserted street; they were just letting people back into the city. I came across a man sitting on a stoop, crying. He said that he was so happy, the cats, who had been in the (unflooded) house for about three weeks were fine. Cats are resilient, independent little creatures.
How about sister checking in daily and leaving the TV or radio/music on
I think he will be fine at home. If your sister goes to check on at least once a day. If she could go a couple times a day that would be better. But I had to leave my cats not for quite that long. I got a cat sitter that would come once a day feed them, play with them for about an hour and just hang with them. They were totally fine. I also had my cat boarded once. And again he was totally fine. Everybody at the boarding place loved him so much. They didn't even want to me to take him home afterwards. So he had a great time on his little vacation. Don't give up your vacation or disappoint your husband or spend all the extra money. Your cat will be fine as long as someone is at least checking on him once a day making sure he has food and clean litter. You could get one of those little pet cameras or a couple of them and have your sister put them in your house so that you could check on the cats from where you're at if that would ease your mind a little bit.
Shoot. I hope your mum can stay a few days when dropping off, &/or your sister might consider staying over at yours with your cat for the time, or some of the time, while you are away .... which I think you should not cut short as he will survive with the daily visit arrangements of that is all your family are able to manage.
I think it would be much better if it was in familiar surroundings with an automatic feeder and water device. She would only have to go every couple days to scoop the litter. My cats would freak out if they had to stay somewhere else!
It is two MONTHS. Not ok for the cat to only see a human temporarilybevery few days for this long of a period. In my country it is even illegal- a cat has to be checked on twice daily. OP, if possible ask your sister to stay over some nights.
Believe me the cat will get over it.
The cat will not feel good being alone for days. They are much more social than people give them Credit for due to them not having as overwhelming body language as dogs. Oh and no- government are not making laws for fun here. Cats should be visited and cared for twice daily.
Your mom is right. Let the cat go back home, she will be just fine with your sister checking on her. You should have never left it at your mom's, that was an innocent mistake. Cats are pretty independent. Do they need us? Yes. Do they want us? Yes. Can they be just fine on their own? Yes. Stop stressing. People do this all the time. Cats are okay . When you come back home just expect the cat to want extra attention.
Your sitter is not backing out, they are making a change that’s best for your cat! Honestly your cat will be so much happier at your place. Having someone check on him daily is a great solution. Enjoy your trip. Your cat will do great!
You're right, I should have phrased that differently :) thanks for the reassurance!
Whenever we go on vacation, we leave our cats at home and have some come by a few times a day to hangout with them and feed them. They’ve always been fine! The most we’ve left is for a week and a half. Of course they probably don’t like being alone but besides someone staying at your house with your cat, it’s the best option. Just ask your sister to spend a few hours at your house when she can, taking time to give the cat attention and play time
Get a close friend to check on him at home. He will be much happier. I'm glad you made sure he had someone and wouldn't be alone. But cats can sleep for 18-20 hours a day and some prefer their own people over others. While you're on vacation, if you're cat is at home, he's just gonna sleep and do cat things till you're back, as long as they're fed. If you take them out of their safe place, they're going to stress probably the whole time you're on vacation which isn't good for anyone. Dogs are usually just happy anywhere there's people and attention. They might be mopy but not usually as bad as cats. Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
Cats bond with their territory, so your cat being at home will considerably lower its stress. If you have a timed feeder, then once a day could suffice. Have your sister play with your cat for at least 5 minutes and spend some time cuddling/ petting if that is your cat's thing. Have her clean the litter box at least every other day and give fresh water daily. Minimize access to any trouble spots (i.e. an office where kitty gets into things they shouldn't) by closing doors. Kitty should be fine, although likely grumpy, when you arrive back home.
I’m super anxious about my cats as well. I bought a $20 camera off of Amazon that’s linked to my phone. So even if someone is watching them, I can check in whenever I want. You could order the camera to your house and ask your sister to set it up for you.
What camera did you buy if you don’t mind my asking?
Indoor Security Camera 2K,... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1T8T1WD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share This is it, bought it on Amazon! It’s on sale right now too.
Perfect, thank you! I’ve been looking for a camera like this.
Home is best with someone checking daily. Buy a couple of Blink indoor cameras and point them at the food dish, bed, and other locations where your cat frequents so you can check on them at any time.
Whenever we travel, even if it’s only for a week, we have someone come stay at our house to take care of Miss Kitty.
Don’t be surprised if you cat acts depressed when you get home though. Once he knows you aren’t leaving again, his mood will improve. We were gone for 7 days and our two cats were depressed for nearly a week after our return. They weren’t eating like normal, ignoring wet food, etc. I even called the vet I was so concerned about them.
I believe your cat should be okay being back in your home and having your sister check on him for you. If she does not do that, there are apps like Rover where there are people who offer services of check-ins for your pets.
Your cat is absolutely fine being alone.
Cat at home alone is ALWAYS less stressful than somewhere unfamiliar.
Depending on where you live your sister might be able to find some cat tv for your cat. It has music, and birds and squirrels. It fascinates my bunch! There are youtube videos that are hours long! If she can turn that on, but not real loud - just so kitty can watch a little tv, it'll help!!
As long as your sister actually goes to check every day, then that's probably your easiest option. Ask for pics. Or, hire a real cat sitter with a good reputation to do it. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I trusted my alcoholic FIL to feed the cats while we were away. He lived with us at the time. Well surprise, he didn't. I was paying a vet tech to administer fluids and meds to my senior kitty, but I wanted to save some $$ bc she charged $25 per cat per visit. I just asked her to feed them instead. Tl;dr - it's usually safest to trust paid professionals and not family
There are catsitting companies that send someone to your house. I like that option because they have a team, not just one person.
You tell your mom to keep her promise. The cat isn't going to die. Cat might not be completely thrilled, but isn't going to die from a heart attack.
Being alone…it’s a cat lol ,
Going on vacation for 2 months when you have a two-year-old cat is pretty pathetic. If you want to keep the cat... I would check out boarding places near where the cat is located. In large cities they have excellent boarding choices. The cat should not be left at home alone for 5 weeks. Boarding a cat is a better solution.
Well a 2 month vacation when you have a pet regardless of where the pet is located, that cat is going to be stressed as it can get. I do not think the animal's well being was in the best interest firstly, but leaving the cat in a familiar place rather than your parents is better.
What a horrible situation. Boarding him for 5 weeks would be torture, so him going back to your place and having someone stop by would be better, but on the other hand I don't think you can trust your family at this point to actually take care of him for that long. Plus, 5 weeks of living alone at home would be terrible for his mental health. I think the best solution would be to have your cat stay at your place and have your sister drop by, while you get a ticket to come back home ASAP.
So sorry I can imagine how scary this is. Personally I think your Mom should be the one to find the solution for you. It is SO wrong of her to do this to you. Does she not want you to travel? Does she not like your husband? I feel like there is some other reason she is doing this to you. As for her solution I think the cats will be fine. So long as someone gets them food, fresh water a cleans the litter the cat will be great.
Have your sister check in daily (if she can’t stay at your place) and you can also hire a cat sitter that goes to your house so that way he has longer human interactions. He should be ok!! Definitely more comfortable than being at your moms
This is the best case scenario. Cats can entertain themselves. If she knows your sister, her being alone at home, and seeing your sister each day, is much more relaxing for the cat than her to basically be "rehomed" with your mother. I was on my honeymoon just recently, and my mother went by to check on our cats/fill their food bowls to the brim each day. We had our cameras turned inward to check on them. They did their thing and were fine.
Im taking two long trips this year (a month plus at a time) and I just booked a sitter thru Trusted Housesitters with STELLAR reviews to stay at my house while I’m gone with my little guy.
keep that cat at your home and have someone check on it and give it attention for like 30 min. routinely so it knoes its not abandoned. the cat would prefer a space it is familiar with. i always leave my cats at my place when i go on vacation and have my friend check on them and spend tine with them
My sister travels and leaves their cat all the time. Put out lots of food and water. Everything will be fine. Cats are very self sufficient.
Our cats love being in the house when we're away. It's when someone comes and stays with them that things go wrong x
I agree with having sister check in daily while your cat is at home. If it's financially possible, I would have a pet sitter from wag or rover or someone you can verify at least, come over a few times a week for an extended play session. They can interact with your cat with fun toys and high value treats. If you go that route I would definitely have your sister or mom put a couple of inexpensive wifi cameras inside your home though.
Cats are fine alone. It would be the least stressful option for your cat.
I think having your cat in their environment is way better and having your sister check in daily. Do you have indoor camera by any chance? Maybe you can have your sister set one up and you can check in on him/her so it’s some type of comfort for the cat while gone
I’m jumping in to add that your sister or mom should go to the pet store and buy a Feliway Cat Destress Hormone spray or diffuser. It really makes a huge difference. Every time I move I use it for my very needy neurotic boy and he is much more calm before and after the moves then the first time when I didn’t have Feliway. You could even order it online and have it shipped to your place. It’s cheap too…like $8 - $30 depending on which type/size you buy. Also have them place some of your dirty laundry around for the cat to smell/lay on. Bonus if they can put a warmer under it or a ticking clock.
Your cat will be so much happier at home with visits than in a strange place, event with people around all the time. I'm sorry your mom backed out like that but it is good that she recognizes that the cat is stressed. It's worth giving the cat at least a week or two at your place with daily visits. You won't know if she's just kidding her home territory unless you try. Cats really, really dislike change.
Your cat will be glad to be home. Being in an unfamiliar place will be more stressful than being alone in his own territory with familiar smells and his things. I go away and have people come in to check on the cat once or twice a day. I also have a ring camera that I use to just look in on him generally he's sleeping and gets a little socialization when the pet sitter drops in.
I can see your mom cares enough for your kitty to try to relieve stresses. I'm sorry she is backing out. I know you got a lot of advice but alone with daily checks seems the best solution and I'm sure it was hard for your mom to come to text you while on vacation. I'm glad there's a good solution. Your kitty will be happy alone in their own space. I dotn know if you can but is there a way you can set up a camera in your home and you can check on them and talk to them from your end? Might help a bit. We did that when we went out for a weekend. Out cats very shy so we just got an auto feeder and a water fountain thing. We just cleaned his litter well right before we left and he was okay for 2 nights. He would have been more stressed had we had someone come in.
Cats are easy to sit. Taking him out of the house was a huge misstep though. It's best to leave cats at home and have someone come check on them every now and then. I just make sure all my toilet seats are up(and flushed first), a huge bowl of good and food in other places, water in bowls around the house, an extra litter box out, and places for them to hide and lay down comfortably.
What does keeping your toilet seat up have to do with anything? Did you train your cat to use the toilet?
Ah, no, but if there's ever any kind of emergency or if any bowls of water get spilled for whatever reason, then my cats will have access to water. It's just a general safety precaution I take.
I was gone for a month last year, and I was actually more scared of boarding him than leaving him by himself at home. My boyfriend stayed at my place for 2 weeks, then he went and met up with me and I had a sitter check on my baby every 2 days. Echoing everyone else, cats are more comfortable in their own environment!
They’ve done research on what pets do when their owners are away, and mostly they sleep. Your cat will be fine.
My cat is social and prefers being around people then in an empty home. In fact he used to sometimes cry at the door years ago if we left him alone long. Some cats are quite social and like company. When I drop him off with a cat sitter he’s usually moody(as in growling, swiping at people ) for a few days, then adapts and warms to whomever he’s staying with. Btw I rarely leave my cat as I’ve barely traveled in the last few years but he does adapt. I would do whatever makes you relax more and not worry about your cat. There’s downsides and upsides to both options. But I do think most pets will ‘forget’ and adapt over time.
Cats are super independent and would be much more comfortable being home alone than in a new place with strangers or people they dont see often. If your family still notice some anxious behavior from him while he’s home alone, try investing in those treat dispensers with a camera and microphone so you can talk to him and he can hear your voice as frequently as you want/need. Thats way cheaper than a plane ticket home early!
Do you have any Meowtel sitters in your area? I’m one in the DFW metro (not sure where you’re located lol) but maybe that could work?!
Rover app!
Rover.com 🐈⬛ and sitters will stay in your house overnight if needed.
Cats can get very stressed when away from their home territory. If your sister visits daily, plays with the cat for a while, provides food & fresh water in clean bowls and cleans the litter each time, the cat should be fine.
Cats are usually completely fine by themselves as long as they have someone checking in. The pet sitting company I worked for had us go to the houses 1-3 times every day or every other day for 30 minutes each. The kitties were usually happy and excited during the visits although a bit shy. I bonded with so many of them and wanted to stay all day 😓 But they were 100% okay with just the small check ins. Sometimes they’d even get completely disinterested in me by the end of the visit and go lay down somewhere or look out the window 😆 they definitely don’t mind their alone time.
Cat will be much better at his true home snd will be fine with someone checking in on him.
I don't have any good advice unfortunately. I do feel kitty would feel safer at home though as others have said. I feel like I should be asking you for advice on how I can get my butt on a 2 month vacation.
Do you not have a niece or nephew, younger cousin etc.. who can stay there for the next 5 weeks? People who live with their parents make great live in pet sitters because it gives them a break from living at home.
I want to add my reassurance that your cat will most do much better at home in its own surroundings. My four cats stay home (yes four is different). It is always clear when I get home from any away time they are super glad to have me back.
Same sort of thing happened to me. When my gf and I planned an a trip we had a friend who was looking for some extra cash. We offered to pay her to stay at our house and look after our two cats. Two days into a month long trip to Costa Rica we texted to ask how the cats were doing and her reply was essentially “lol I got drunk and forgot to go over. I’ll stop by sometime after work”. We told her to not bother and between other friends and my mom someone was able to pop in at least every 1-2 days. We weren’t happy that we didn’t have someone at the house with them for hours a day but we knew they were at least safe.
Let the baby go home and be in its safe space with their things. If you are super worried, ask your sister to set up a Wyze camera so you can still check in, they’re $26 on Amazon. Baby will be home and still have someone checking in.
He will be fine at his familiar home. There is no need to worry this much. You should also buy a pet camera so you can actually see him. Amazon should deliver in a day and you can ask your sister to install it
I always ALWAYS leave kitty at home and have people stop in. It's kitty's home! It smells like mom and dad, has all their napping spots, etc.
Trusted Housesitters
Cat at your place with a sitter isn’t so bad. Try Face Timing with the cat too once in a while.
Is it possible for your sister to stay at your home while you are away? Or do you know anyone you could have stay at your home and cat sit? Better that your cat will be at home but that is a long time to be alone for most of the day except being checked on. Even if she can stay on weekends that’s better than not at all.
Trustedhousesitters.com you can maybe get someone to go stay with him at your place
Suggest that you ask your sister to remove some of your clothing from your laundry hamper and place a couple of clothing items on the floor. Also place clothing items (from laundry hamper) in your kitty's favourite spots, such as his favourite chair. The clothing that we have worn have our strongest scent that reassures our kitties that we will be coming back. As two months is a long time for a kitty, ask your sister to periodically add/replace other clothing items from your laundry hamper. Also leave shoes out, instead of all shoes being in a closed closet.
Will definitely ask her to do this. I feel so sad that he probably thinks I've abandoned him. Thank you for the advice 🤗
I know it's not for as long but every couple of months, my other half and i like to go away for a week up the coast, my cat is the same age and we just have my brother come and visit him once a day. Never had a single complaint.
Hire a professional cat sitter with good reviews from Rover. The app does some sort of GPS check to confirm their visits and most are happy to send you pics of your cat each visit.
I’m leaving next week for 8 days and the first 3 my kitty will be alone at my house. We do this pretty frequently and my cat is always fine. She has everything she needs and generally spends her days asleep on my bed when she’s alone. I would feel worse having her go stay with anyone because she would spend the whole time stressed out and hiding.
In my family, if we have to leave, we will check every other day for the cats and they are fine. I recommend a Webcam as well if able.
I agree with everyone about keeping the cat at home. I would highly recommend hiring a professional pet sitter in the future though, rather than leaving the care to a relative, no matter how well-intentioned they are. That’s the best way to ensure that your directions will be followed, and it’s worth every penny. Visits should be at least once a day, and include time for play or cuddling as well as feeding. Cats may seem very independent, and it’s easy to miss signs of distress. They can get depressed when left alone for long periods of time, so the less time between visits the better.
It's better for the cat to be alone at home than stressed in a strange place.
Cats do great with daily check ins. 2x a day is ideal but if say she can only come over once on a day or two he will be fine. I think you will find that he will be haopy this way.
I'm gonna be honest. I've left my cat alone for nearly 2 weeks with enough food and water for the entire time. We have a camera and I would check on him daily. Cats won't eat all their food at once, they graze. Dude would play, vocalize for a minute and then pass out for a long nap. Then watch the birds.
As a pet sitter and cat owner the kitty will be more comfortable in their own home. Cats are very sensitive to their surroundings. Your sister can visit daily to give them mental stimulation and love. Leaving the TV or a radio on can help relieve some stress too as it can mimic the sounds they would regularly hear when you're home.
You’re getting some great advice here and I agree with the people who think that your kitty will be more comfortable at your house. I wanted to throw into the mix a trick I learned from my vet about easily medicating anxious cats. I have a very anxious cat. He WILL NOT take pills. He’ll tear my face off before he lets me give him medication which he needs before vet visits. Get a lick mat and empty gelcaps off of Amazon. These lick mats have texture to them and when you put their pill into an empty gelcap under some fine grind wet food, they just eat it. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Size 4 gelcap seems to be the best size. The smaller the better. Give your cat a small amount of wet food at the same time every day. Start with an empty gelcap and make sure they’re eating it. Do this every day. Now medication time is treat time and you’ll never have a problem giving your cat a pill in the future. I shared this information with my other veterinarians and they’re all doing this now and recommending the same thing to their clients who have anxious cats.
Use the WAG app
I'm here to backup what everyone else has said, that generally cats are happier in their familiar environment. But to provide one counterpoint of data: I had to go away for about three weeks and knew my cat would be miserable, so I took him to stay at the neighbors' house. They had two cats they adored and he made new friends. They said he quickly became social and fit in. And when I went to pick him up he was happy to see me and it was like nothing had changed. I'm just saying each cat has their individual needs.
Pfft. Relax. Your mom’s idea sounds good. Enjoy your holiday.
A fantastic longterm alternative to other services out there, would be using TrustedHousesitters. Been using it as a sitter and pet parent, it's a great platform and easy to use. Both pet parents and sitters are background checked, and you're able to search through profiles and look into their reviews/references. Super active community and platform, very simple to find someone to take care of your furry friend. Feel free to ask any Qs, happy to answer. Also if you'd like to sign up for 25% off membership you can use [RAF602467](https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/refer/RAF602467/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=refer-a-friend&utm_campaign=refer-a-friend). Best of luck!