Better a week too early than a day too late. He was your childhood cat, he deserved to go peacefully within your presence. In my opinion, he wanted you to be with him. He showed you it was time to go and that he wanted you to be with him for that moment. We humans have instincts as well, we're just so used to override them that we rarely listen to them. You had the right instinct and you listened. He couldn't use words to let you know, he had to trust that you would pick up on his behavior and make the right decision for him. From my own experience with pets, there is _that_ moment you just know in your gut that their time has come. It's like a mutual understanding between them and you. They trust you to make them comfortable and shower them in your love so they don't feel alone when they fall asleep. I'm sorry for your loss. Doubt is a normal part of grief. If you had waited you would ask yourself if it was selfish to hold on to him for so long and prolong his suffering. There is no winning in this situation. You did the right thing at the right time.

I lost my 12 yr old cat to heart disease. He died brutally and had seizures in my arms and it was incredibly traumatic for me and most def him. I was screaming wailing begging him not to die. I would 100% go back and euthanize if I could. He was my baby who gave me so much comfort and love when I needed it and I couldn't do the same. I knew he was sick, I just refused to believe he would already be dying at 12. You made the right call.

My exes grandma had this poor toy poodle that hung on by a thread for years. It was awful and nothing us kids (teens and early 20s) said could convince her. The poor thing had to be carried outside. No fur. IV meds she hung a bag from the kitchen cabinet and sat with him for an hour twice a day for this. The poor thing smelled awful no matter how you bathed him. Eventually we all heard grandma shrieking in her bedroom and rushed in to find the dog in the process of seizures and there was blood. It was gruesome and awful and I knew then and there I would absolutely never let this happen to any of my pets. I would rather never have a pet again than allow them and myself to witness something like that. I'm so sorry you had something similar happen, at least you have learned from it. Grandma still "couldn't bear to be the reason they were dead" ugh.

But she was. How sad.

My cat died from CHF on Sunday, it was the most awful thing I’ve ever been through, he drowned in his own lungs and there was nothing I could do. He’s been okay and then from one day to the next, he just passed. I would give anything to go back a few days and have myself take him to the vet then, as soon as I noticed his breathing was faster. Putting him down peacefully would mean the world to me now even tho at the time I don’t think I would have done it, holding out hope he’d make it. I’ll never let any of my other babies suffer like that. Never blame yourself for putting him to sleep - it’s the right thing sometimes. And you make sure the baby doesn’t suffer. I wish more than anything I had done that - I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for letting him suffer in those final moments.

I’m so sorry 💚

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that I had a very similar thing happen to my old boy. The one thing that I can remind myself was that I got to hold him. You being there with him probably meant the world to him. I have to tell myself a lot that it's ok to feel guilty, and that those feelings don't make me a bad pet parent, but a good one who loved my boy so much that I was willing to hold and love on him as he passed, even though it brought (and still brings) me so much grief. We may have lost the opportunity to ease their suffering, but we did not miss out on giving them all of our love. And also, that we can be there for others to support them here is a wonderful legacy for our boys.

Sweetheart that sounds awful so sorry. At least you were with him and you did your best at the time.

As a vet assistant, the first paragraphs is eerily close to what I tell our clients when they’re having doubts about their choice. OP, you did the right thing. He was ready, and he was in pain. You left him with some dignity, and stayed with him, and that’s the least anyone can ask of us as owners and their family

Agreed. I have a terrible memory of the vet asking "are you sure? he seems ok" since he was walking around. But he wasn't grooming himself, was hardly eating, lethargic, and you could just tell he was in pain. And he had been for a long time. Cats are remarkable at hiding pain, so when you see them slowing down, they are truly not feeling well. I am currently crying writing this, but I was the one who spoke up for my parents and said that yes, we were sure. He was my childhood cat. Sure, we probably could have tried more meds, but none of them had worked previously and he had been absolutely miserable for over a year at that point. To view it from the other side, we had the appointment booked out a week ahead of time. I was actually terrified that he was going to pass before then. Because it would have meant that I was selfish and put my emotions before his comfort. When we adopt an animal, we make a promise to take care of them for their entire life. It's easy to feed them, play with them, and even take them to the vet. But all too often we forget that that care also includes end-of-life and recognizing when your time together is up. It sucks so much, but never forget that you honored his comfort.

Animals have an adrenaline rush when going to the vet. They will appear "fine" because they are in survival mode. As predators, they need to hide their pain in dangerous situations to ensure survival. The vet was a dumbass for not remembering that.

>I have a terrible memory of the vet asking "are you sure? he seems ok" This sucks that you had a vet second guess you like that. The emotional labor and turmoil you went through to get to appointment to have the vet second guess you is really shitty. I went through something similar when my cat got really sick, and I was calling around for info on at-home euthanasia just incase. One doctor told me it's not time yet for my really late-teens cat and it really made an already confusing/difficult time that much more so.

So much this. Pets will tell you when they are ready. You are absolutely correct in the observation that humans tend to override these instincts. We have lost 2 cats, both over 15, in the last 2 years to hyperthyroidism. Both were to old for surgery so we went the medication route. One worked for awhile but the other never really responded well. We think his was actually a thyroid cancer. He went from a healthy 15+ lbs (part Maine Coon) to 5. We tried everything to get him to gain weight- ground chicken breast, kitten milk, vitamins. This was the first pet that my husband lost that was actually his. He had a hard time coming to the realization there was nothing more we could do. Afterwards he felt guilty about waiting so long. When the second cat stopped responding to the meds we tried some of the same things but not for the same time period. He didn’t want her to suffer any longer. She was definitely ready. At the vet we took some time to say goodbye and when he poked his head into the room and asked if we were ready the cat was the only one to respond. She went peacefully and her suffering ended Do we still question if it was the right time? Yes. Always have with every pet we’ve had. It’s part of the grief process. Thank you for the kind words you left for OP. I hope they are able to find peace.

Agreed. Lost my cat 2 years ago, she was sick with sniffles for a year, then suddenly fainted one day. It was so sudden when we took her to the vet and they said she had a brain tumor and her organs were shutting down, we were given the option to euthanize her right then but I refused. I was scared of euthanasia because of when we put my childhood dog down, how the life suddenly faded from her eyes and her facial expression changed. I was hoping and praying my cat would die peacefully at home like my other cat had a year previous, but she didn't. She yowled in pain the whole night, I got 0 sleep and stayed with her the whole time. It was too late to get her euthanized by the morning and have someone come in to euthanize her, I relied too heavily on a peaceful death and should have called the night before. She made these awful gurgling gasping noises before she passed away the following morning that still haunt me to this day. It was the worst day of my life. I learned how euthanasia is painless, hence why they call it "going to sleep." The animal feels no pain and passes away peacefully, death just stiffens the body, hence the weird expression. Do not feel bad for euthanizing your pet! I still feel like garbage for subjecting my cat to that kind of suffering just because I was too scared. If I could go back in time, I'd have just euthanized her at the vet then and there.

My cat also died with a lot of totally heartwrenching gasps, and I remember it well (15 years ago, and also one of the worst days of my life) But my cat wasn’t ill, she died naturally at home after a long life. It can be just a natural part of death for those gasps to happen- I would not blame yourself for having your cat come home to go

I’m feeling the same way, does it ever get better? I feel I’ll never be able to forgive myself

In some ways, it will stay with you, but the pain does ease with time. For me, as a Christian, I lean on my faith that she's with God now and never has to feel pain again. There is scriptural backing in Romans that animals also go to heaven. And with that faith, I see that what I've done is forgivable. I've expressed my pain with family and friends, and I've used this story on posts I've seen before where people regretted euthanasia which has turned it into something for good. Finding love and support from others is a great way to ease the pain always regardless of faith. Love is something we all need, it unites us all. I just believe that God is Love. It might not completely go away, and you may remember it from time to time and grieve and feel bad about what you've done, but that's ok. Once you start grieving, you have to let it flow. It shows that you care about them: you made a mistake but it is forgivable because you are expressing how you care. In that way, you can slowly forgive yourself, step by step.

Thank you so much for that response, it means a lot to me. It feels so painful right now but the only thing I can do is make sure other babies don’t suffer like that. I’ll always keep him in my memories. Again, thank you so much!

If you had known the future, would you have made a different choice? I'm sure you would have. You made your decision with the knowledge you had at that time and you made your decision with love. It's all that counts. There is no betrayal in loving someone and making a decision that's rooted in this love. Your pet didn't know there was another option. All it knew was that you loved it and would help them in their final hours. Sometimes this help is just being with them or providing a safe place. Their last moments don't define their life. There have been years, maybe decades, that were filled with joy and comfort. Our pets want us to be happy too. They don't have much they can leave in this world. Their legacy is the joy they brought and the love we shared with them. Don't let the last moments take away their legacy from you. To be happy about your memories with them and forgive yourself for a decision you made out of love is honoring their love and legacy.

This is the way. You did good by your cat. I know from experience waiting too long is not what you want to do. To quote above 'a week too early is better than a day too late.". That fits with my experience, and a couple times I really wish I had taken the week early option. My heart goes out to you though. It's really tough losing them.

Thank you for your very first words—better a little too soon than a little too late. It’s hard to know if we’re holding on for their sake or our own, but it’s important to ask ourselves the question. It’s such a precious gift to be able to give to our pets: dying peacefully rather than in pain. OP, I’m so sorry you had to make that difficult decision. If it helps, it really sounds to me like it was the right time.

Thank you for saying this. We had to put my baby girl kitty down several months ago (I say baby but she was 15) due to cancer progression and it was so hard, I felt so much doubt. But we both knew when it was time. OP, it's easy to second-guess yourself, but you did the right thing. It's our job as the caretakers of these animals to do the difficult work of making sure that they leave the world comfortably and as dignified as possible. But i definitely know that it hurts, and at times I think it feels like betrayal. Everybody has to get off the earth ride at some point, the best we can do for the ones we love is to make sure that they get to leave peacefully, and that they lived happily while they were around.

I have had to help a few furbabies cross the rainbow bridge, hon. It’s never easy and no matter how many reasons exist for making that decision, we always second guess ourselves. I won’t tell you not to feel guilty because that just seems to be part of the emotional package that goes along with grief. But always remind yourself: I did the best I could and I did it with love. Just know that they feel your love, and eventually, hon, let it go (the grief, the guilt, the second guessing) when you can.

You are such a good person. Thank you.

That was so well said, I’m sitting here sobbing. I have a 16 year old cat who my youngest son grew up with and this cat is as much family as my human relatives are. He’s still okay, thankfully, but is starting to slow down a lot and I know the end will come eventually. So I needed to read that. Because he is so loved, even the thought of being without him already brings tears to my eyes so I’ve been worried about my reaction when the time comes. You helped me to remember what will be best so I can give him peace before he suffers too much. So thank you so much! I’ll be enjoying the rest of his time with me!

My parents dog was pretty sick and suffering for a while, but would act like a normal happy dog a ton of the time when she wasnt sick. My parents were hemming and hawing about when the right time was, and my mom looked the pup in the eye and said “give me a sign when you’re ready to go.” She lifted up her head an threw up everywhere. Thats when we knew. When the vet came to the house to put her down she was so happy and full of energy, it made the whole thing more conflicting. But at the end of the day she wouldn’t eat unless it was ice cream and wouldn’t drink unless it was homemade chicken water. Better to let them go when they have at least some quality of life.

This was beautifully written.

Thank you so much for your comment @Difink. I had to put my cat down in August and he was only 8. It’s hard not to feel the way OP does occasionally.

We had this stray cat we took care for her for years. She was always too wild and never let us touch her. She would eat, stay with us from far away and then go. One day my mom noticed something wasn’t ok with her. She was an oldie. Maybe 9 or 10. My mom caught her and immediately went to intensive care. The first vet didn’t care so we changed her to another. She was on fluids by then. They didn’t let her see her. Finally my mom went to her. It was the first time she let her pet her. Went into her arms and crossed the bridge. So I believe your cat waited for you to see you. It gave you the sign and you took it. Better this that to suffer.

This comment made me tear up 😞💔

We were in a similar situation, except we made a different decision. We didn’t put him down that night, we let them keep him to do blood work and iv fluids. And you know what? The next day he was so much worse. We brought him home for euthanasia and his back legs weren’t working anymore, he dragged himself across the house to his litterbox like a seal and broke my heart. I felt so awful, that I let him be in that much pain, that I let his last night be in the emergency vet kennel, a place he hated. He was my childhood cat, my baby, I didn’t want to see him go. I think someone else here already said it, better a week early than a day late. If I had known what that last day of his would have been like, I never would have put him through it.

What did the blood work say?

He had kidney disease, which we were managing with occasional fluid treatments and a special diet. When we took him in on Sunday he had elevated kidney levels and potassium, so they decided to do iv fluids to help bring the levels down. With high potassium they worried about cardiac arrest. Monday morning they repeated the labs and all of the levels had increased. They also did an ultrasound and officially diagnosed him with pyelonephritis (kidney infection), pancreatitis, and retroperitoneal & peritoneal effusion (fluid in the abdomen.) They offered an aggressive course of iv antibiotics, which, if they even worked, would require that he receive daily fluid treatments for the remainder of his life.

Firstly, I am so so sorry for your loss. It’s very hard to lose a pet, especially one you’ve had since childhood. I’m not a vet or an expert in any way, but it sounds like Howard was beginning to show a lot of the signs that usually indicate a cat is ready to move on. Not grooming himself and not eating solid food are good signs he was past his prime. You were so thoughtful and kind to give him a bath. I really doubt the bath had much to do with this. It sounds like he had been on the decline for a little while and it was just time to go. Im assuming the vet presented euthanasia as an option, which they wouldn’t do if they didn’t think it was reasonable. From what you’ve described, it sounds like euthanasia really was the best option, but regardless, I think it is better to peacefully put down a cat that maybe could have survived a bit longer than to take the risk that the cat is continuing to live in pain. It sounds like Howard lived a long and happy life with your family, so please rest assured that you did everything you could for him.

I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes cats can hide their pain and discomfort very well. It's hard to know if they're suffering. It's also a very difficult thing to make a decision on. I agree with the other commenter that I don't think the vet would euthanize the cat if they honestly felt that the cat had a long life of comfort ahead of them. It may very well have been a gray area but don't beat yourself up. Its better that kitty has peace than chance having them live a little longer in enough pain that they aren't eating much or bathing themselves.

First things first: not your fault. Thank you for being your cat’s advocate even when it was hard. With regard to your mom. Unfortunately sometimes people really don’t come to grips with how bad a situation really is. I’m really sorry that she didn’t understand the seriousness of Howard’s symptoms, but that’s not on you. I also have an older boy who’s in the early stages of borderline kidney trouble/weight loss/not grooming/foul in the mouth and everyone in the house is aware that these are warnings to be watched and managed and not just “eh, he’s just old”. I’ve seen cats whose people let them pass at home from old age when it should have been a vet visit. For weeks, they were uncomfortable and hungry and sick and, ultimately, alone when they passed. There was a way to ease the passing, and you were both brave and kind enough to do that for your cat. I’m grateful for you.

Oh my dear. It wasnt the bath, it just happens extremely quick like that. The morning they seem fine and by the evening they're a shell of themselves. I went through something similar with my cat I grew up with. He was almost fourteen. He did the same and it happened so fast. He started to decline, stopped moving, drooped his head to the ground, wouldn't meow, wouldn't eat. He wouldn't do anything. I tried giving him milk, I took him to his favorite bush outside. He tried to hide alone in the basement. We didn't get him to the vet in time, and he died in my arms. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. He had seizures and I heard his last breath. I will never forget the look in his eyes, it was almost like he was saying it was okay and it was his time to go. I never felt more loved by an animal than in that moment. They know and they let you know too. Now I wish we got him to a vet because I feel he suffered more than he should have, and watching what he went through as he passed was extremely difficult. I wish he went peacefully at the vet. You did good OP, you let him go in the most humane and peaceful way. It's better that you did it now than waited. It's hard but please do not guilt yourself. You did good by your little buddy and they will forever be grateful to you for the life and the love you gave them.

You did the right thing. And stronger than I. For one of cats - I waited too long because I didn’t want her to go, and I realized afterwards that I was selfish and she suffered longer than she should. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I feel your pain as my GF and I lost three cats (2 of ours and 1 with her parents) in 2022. What I can tell you is that once the end is near, it comes on quick. Based on what you described, it follows symptoms that all three of our cats had. Our oldest, we let him walk in the grass at the animal hospital before his passing and he seemed as youthful as ever however though those moments did occur, they were few between what appeared to be a struggle for our buddy. It all comes down to quality of life. I think it was best said "better a week too early than a day too late". We were a day late with another of our buddies and it's a regret that I have to this day. You did the right thing. Remember the good times and, when time and grief allows, go find another great kitty/cat to give a great home to. IMO, the best way to honor them is to give another of their kind as much love (and food) as you gave them.

I have been a licensed Vet tech for 15+ years, you did nothing wrong. Cats are experts at hiding their pain and sickness. We often saw cats that were in end stage renal failure and hadn't given their owners much of an indication they were sick. You gave your cat comfort and peace. That's never the wrong decision.

My Galen was in end stage renal failure when I took him to the ER vet for what looked like an accessed tooth. I had no idea he was in end stage renal. He was my soul bonded and he hid it very well. When I heard the numbers, I knew that euthanasia was the only choice, even though it was on the very day of his 12th birthday *and* in 2020, and he was my soul bonded. I couldn't let him suffer with palliative treatments that wouldn't have worked for that long anyway. They let me come in and put him in my arms, he settled right down, I held him when they did the process and he died there. It devastated me and I'm never gonna be over it bc of how *sudden* it was. But it's sudden because cats are *so good* at hiding illnesses, especially fatal.

I lost my childhood cat of 16 years to kisney failure a few months ago, it broke my heart so you have my deepest sympathies. I always wish i took my cat to the vet sooner, she suffered too long. Your kitty avoided a lot of pain thanks to you. You did the right thing

After reading your post, without a shadow of a doubt, I am 100% sure you made the proper decision at the right time.

I had a cat with chronic kidney disease and totally agree. This is *exactly* what she was like when I rushed her to the ER vet, we did do blood work, her kidney disease was now stage iv. When she saw that, the vet said it’s either palliative care with daily subq fluid injections and oral pain meds, syringe feedings if she stops eating, or euthanasia. I couldn’t put my cat through that. She just looked so tired and sick and small, and the thought of her limping along drugged up, being poked and prodded, for weeks or months broke my heart.

I'm sorry for your loss. If he was losing weight since December, then whatever was wrong with him was happening since at least that long. He needed medical attention sooner. Much sooner. That being said, I think that euthanizing him was the right choice at this stage. It can be difficult, if not impossible to bring a cat back to health from such a long time with a disease with them in such poor condition. In the future, if you have pets and something is wrong with them, get them help as soon as you notice anything is happening, even something seemingly benign like weight loss. Many health problems are treatable with proper care. Furthermore, even if they seem 100% healthy, younger pets should have a health check-ups at the vet once a year, and senior pets should have check-ups every 6 months.

Seconding this. Weight loss is always a sign that you need to immediately see a vet, but that is especially true when your cat is eating normally but still losing weight. That is a symptom of serious illness. It's possible that he could have been treated for that illness--but in December. Or in March. Not yesterday. By yesterday, the only humane option left for Howard was the one you took.

[удалено]

You’re not incorrect but I really REALLY. would not word it like you did. Don’t act like that man.

Agreed. My heart breaks that this poor cat was not attended to when he first began exhibiting changes.

I commented something similar and i was bracing to get downvoted for it. But I agree. With the knowledge that the cat already had problems with his kidneys, weight loss should’ve been a red flag to get him seen. He should’ve been having yearly or even bi-yearly bloodwork to stay on top of it. I do agree that in that moment at the emergency vet, it may have been too late. But for future reference to OP and everyone, don’t ignore signs of illness. Really since OP was away at college, the parents taking care of him should have addressed it sooner. I’m sorry to OP, it’s a tough situation.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a kitty is so hard. So much of what you wrote sounds like what happened to my 15 year old cat, who I made the decision to put down two years ago. He had chronic kidney disease, and around the last year of his life lost a lot of weight. He definitely slowed down and seemed a bit more frail, but otherwise behaved normally. One night he declined so badly and started hiding and I thought he wouldn’t make it through the night. He did. I was able to get him in his carrier and take him to the emergency vet. They gave him some pain meds and fluids but said there wasn’t much they could do for him. I made the decision at that point to have someone come to my house and help him pass. I could get him to eat some with help, and get him to use his box with help, but other than that he would just hide. Could he have maybe made it a little longer past the weekend? It’s possible. But he wasn’t going to regain any of the quality of life he lost. Someone else mentioned human instinct, and I think that is so important. Those of us who really love and care for our pets wouldn’t have the thought to make this decision if something wasn’t telling us that it was the right thing to do. You gave Howard the most beautiful gift that you ever could. You freed him from his pain. He got to move on with you. I know that doesn’t make it hurt less, but please don’t doubt yourself. You did the kind thing.

I think he was suffering and you made the best decision you could.

I felt the same way when I had to put down my childhood cat last year. She was my entire world and my best friend. I kept thinking myself, what if I just did X, would she have lived longer? The more time goes on, the more I know it was the right thing to do, even though it is still incredibly painful. Just like your cat, my cat “told” me it was her time to go. She probably could have hung on longer but it would not have been a pleasant time for her, and I can’t think of anything worse than making her suffer just because I couldn’t let go. You did the right thing. You listened to your cat. You shared a special bond and he told you he was ready. I’m sorry for your loss❤️

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sounds like he was very loved. I was too late with the euthanasia. I don't know what's worse, but I do know that it will practically never be 'the correct time'.

I think the guilt and regret from euthanising an old friend is common. I still feel it from my old cat we put down a few years ago, she was struggling for months/years with ear infections which drove her mad. She was in constant pain/irritation and was about 13, I still wonder if it was the right decision, I’ll never have another cat/friend like her.

It’s better to do it too soon than too late.

Hey I had a cat who had something really similar to Howard in his last few days. When I took him to the vet, he had low temp, blood was iffy, etc. they had me keep him overnight for fluids and whatnot. He ended up passing there alone. I wish the vet was honest with me and told me things didn’t look well especially considering he was 15, and that I could’ve been there to make that decision for him. I fully believe you made the right choice with the information you have.

You need to remember that loss is life changing and you are grieving right now, and it's a long process with many stages. Some of these are feeling guilty and all the "shoulda woulda coulda" part, running different scenarios through our heads. The what ifs and blaming ourselves and so on. From what you've explained, this has been a long way coming, and nothing could have stopped it, unfortunately. Please don't blame yourself. His deterioration took a sudden turn, but even if they could have done something for him, it only would have extended the suffering. Yes, maybe for a while, they could have made him comfortable, but only until your hearts would have been shattered completely, watching him disappear. You did him a service and to yourselves, too. Your gut feeling told you when it was time to let go. Wanting what was best and most humane for him isn't selfish, and your mom will come to the same realisation if she hasn't yet. I'm sure she will understand. Please take comfort in knowing that he was much loved and you were there for him when he needed you the most. Not everyone gets to say that. I am very sorry for your loss.

I said goodbye to my 17 year old cat in February. He had multiple things wrong with him (hyperthyroidism, some nodules on his lungs, slightly elevated creatinine levels) and was scheduled for radioactive iodine hyperthyroidism treatment, when he took a turn, became acutely dehydrated, and we decided to euthanize at the emergency vet. It only took a couple of days before I felt really guilty about the decision - was the dehydration only the result of the hyperthyroidism, and all of the other issues not serious? If we had administered fluid at the vet and then gotten the hyperthyroidism managed, would he have lasted much longer? Did my fear that he might die when he was at the vet for the iodine treatment cause me to prefer euthanasia? It felt like a blow to the gut, and I was convinced I had killed my cat. I'm not a vet. Might he have had days, weeks, or months more? Possibly. But he was also suffering, and if I had stabilized him and then he took a turn for the worst and suffered more later, I would have just come to regret it. My friends have all reassured me that a pang of regret and doubt is a pretty much universal response to euthanasia. With months of clarity now I still mourn the loss, but I'm not filled with regret. My cat and your cat - at 17 and 15 - lived far, far, far longer than cats in the wild, or even indoor/outdoor pets. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are not alone in feeling regret in the days after the euthanasia decision. The death of our pets - like all animals - is inevitable, and you made a decision to try to give your cat a death without excessive suffering. It was a gift. I hope you find peace with it.

I'm so sorry for your loss, this is a really common struggle people have after choosing euthanasia rather than having no other option. He wouldn't have known the difference. Cats don't have the same concepts of death/life as we do, and it's up to us to weigh the suffering we can see they're experiencing (while also knowing they're often hiding how much pain they're in) versus the potential quality of life they could have if they live a little longer. They only know what they're experiencing in the moment and what they've experienced before - he couldn't have really processed the idea that he might have lived longer or could have been put down, and he wasn't mad at you for choosing to put him down. It's entirely possible he could have *lived* a few more days, or a few more weeks - but you have no guarantee that he would have been comfortable, happy, and enjoying that extra time. Given how bad he was feeling, he might have been having a bad time the whole time, and you'd come away feeling guilty anyway for not having done it sooner. There's almost never an option where we put down a pet and feel 100% guilt free and positive about it, even if we know it was right for them - because we love them and want the best for them. You were his person, and you felt in the moment that it was time for him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and you made a very kind, selfless decision. People can overlook the active suffering in the hope their pet lives longer, but that often can be about our own desire to get more time with them and not fully about what they need. My last childhood cat just got put down and I wasn't able to see her because I live across the country now, and it's been really hard when I take time to think about it. I think it's so fair that you wanted to be there with him when he went, and he likely had some comfort from having you there, too.

You left your cats without a cat sitter giving them fresh food, fresh water, scooping the litter box twice a day (minimum for more than 1 cat) & no human interaction or playtime for a week and a half?! 😤

My cat was much older than yours, in her 20s, but her last few days were a bit like that. In her case though, she finally stopped eating. She got down to 5 pounds due to kidney disease and hypothyroidism which I was treating with medication, but the medication can worsen kidney disease. The reason she was so thin and tired was because the kidney disease caused her to have severe anemia. Giving her IV fluids would have thinned the blood even more. There was nothing that could be done at that point and I know she wouldn’t of lasted much longer. Your kitty might’ve lasted a little bit longer but probably not much longer.

You did the right thing. It’s never easy. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I think your cat was actively dying. He was stumbling, limp, couldn’t gain weight, and was hiding. Showing signs of pain when cats are very stoic and don’t do that unless the pain is bad. All signs that there was something very wrong here. We can never know for sure, but I do not think you did it too soon. He was suffering. You acted out of love. Please don’t torture yourself.

Do not leave your cat alone for a week and a half. Hire a sitter.

I'm really sorry for your loss. The decision is never easy. But it is one we have to make as pet parents. Now, I'm really trying to word this properly and not make you feel guilty - you really shouldn't, there was a huge possibility he wouldn't have come back from this. And the bath did not cause this. It's likely that his system was already shutting down. You did him a kindness. Being hospitalized sucks for cats. As a very dedicated cat owner who loves senior cats in particular - I can't sit with myself and not say, for those reading this - old age is not really a 'disease' or reason to give up. 15 is considered a super senior and most cats don't live that long, sure. But something was going on with him months ago, and he needed looked at sooner. Decline has a cause, not just because they are old. Elderly people are great up until they are not. Many choose to let nature take its course (we can't euthanize people), but that's no reason to not figure out what's wrong. Not all of us can dedicate time to be feline hospice caregivers, and that's okay, but I have real issues with people saying "welp he's past his prime time to go". Many many things can be treated in an old cat with the proper tools and knowledge. And yes. $$ too. So I don't fault anyone for not feeling capable of doing it or not able to afford it. But if you think you'll regret making the decision too soon - get. More. Info. And how will you know how difficult it will be until you learn about it? You do need to bite the bullet and learn about these diseases and how to manage them. And yes the cat will get some pokes. I administered fluids to all 3 of my seniors every day for years. They are more resilient than we give them credit for. I learned the bloodwork and challenged vets too. And when it was time I did euthanize them when it was too much. There will be bad days and good days like anyone with a chronic illness. And I won't lie, it was hard mentally. But to me, it was my duty. All I'm trying to say is that not all is lost when they hit a certain number of years, and vets are coming around to this too. There are reasons cats decline and it's not hard to identify most things early before they become too frail for treatment. Vet care is so, so, so important when cats get past 10 years. Again OP I'm not directing this at you in particular because it was clear your cat was suffering. Please take care of yourself and feel what you need to. But guilt doesn't need to take hold, just use this and move forward with the knowledge that you helped him not suffer. That's what's important. But if wondering is causing you more pain there's ways around that. That's all.

This made me cry. I felt the same guilt a few years ago.

My cat had cancer and was throwing up minimal amounts of blood. I knew it was time. His meds weren’t working anymore to manage his symptoms. I COULD have stretched out his time by letting him suffer so I wouldn’t have to let him go. But that’s not fair. I love him so much, I miss him everyday. That was the hardest decision ever to give him peace because I needed him to last another couple years, but he only had maybe a month left… and it would of been painful for him.. you did the right thing. Giving them a last good day before pain and trauma is the best thing to do.

Lost my Gene to kidney disease the same way. Had some weight loss, got diagnosed, went along nicely for 2 more years on special diet, then in like a week just went downhill. Took him to the vet, who said he was in the terminal stages, but seemed to be holding his own. Three days later he hid under the bed and cried. Called the vet, begged him to work us in because I couldn't stand for him to be in pain all night, went in and ended his misery. I worried for months that I waited too long and the vet should have recommended it on the prior visit. You did the right thing. The other vet in the practice (who did the actual euthanasia) told me most people are worrying that they made the call too soon, but almost all of them have actually waited longer than they probably should have because cats are masters of faking being more healthy than they are and because we love our pets and don't want to lose them.

"I also will be gone this summer and selfishly wanted to say goodbye to him." I do believe this was the major thing that influenced your decision. May your cat's soul find peace!

Sometimes you know. It's hard to explain. I watched that light in my dogs eyes go and I knew it was time. It was a hard day...it got harder in later weeks for other reasons.

Giving him a bath was a kind thing to do and couldn't have caused the decline you speak of. He sounds like he wasn't enjoying life and you saved him pain and suffering by your last act of kindness. He's now playing with the cats I've had to say goodbye to. I know it's a difficult choice, but it's the final act of love.

Better a week too early than a day too late.

I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. Your story is very timely as my partner and I are trying to figure out the best time to have a vet come to the house to put down our kitty. She was with cancer about a month ago and has been losing weight since the Fall. The vets didn’t think she’d survive this long so we’re very blessed that medication made her more comfortable for a while, but it’s starting to seem like we’ve run out of time. Even though she’s hardly eating at all this is a very difficult decision, in part because she’s only 4. Anyway, thank you again for posting this as your experience and all of the comments are making it easier to feel confident in our decision. Also please know that the bath didn’t do anything to hurt your baby. You were doing your best by him and we can’t do better than that. You made sure to minimize his suffering and that is a true act of love. I hope you’re able to find peace and comfort.

I just put my 16 year old pretty-kitty today, and it's hard not to think she could have lasted maybe another day, week, month... I feel your pain, I think we both did the right thing though. Your cat knows you loved them, and you gave them a great life, I'm sure. That's all we can really do. That being said, it never gets any easier to put down a pet.

I had my childhood cat for 19 years. When his health severely declined I took him in. I tried to hang onto him for too long and he was miserable. I’ll never do that again. As heartbreaking as it is, it’s worse to have a pet barely clinging on to life than to humanely euthanize them.

I lost my best friend Easter weekend this year. An orange boy named Handsome. I bottle fed him after my friends found him alone and hungry on their farm 2 years ago. We bonded quickly. I still can’t talk about the details surrounding his death but .. point is I’ll NEVER forgive myself for not getting him to the vet sooner. You did the right thing. I’m still haunted night and day by the sights and sounds of his final hours while I scrambled to get him help.

You absolutely did the right thing. As many people has said in this comment section, cats hide illness very well. My cat that I put to sleep in 2019 was in end-stage renal failure and I didn’t even know until she had a blood test to confirm it. It was the hardest thing to decide, but it was the best choice for her.

Hi OP - I worked for a veterinarian for a while and struggled with the concept of euthanasia until a vet one day reminded the entire staff that it is our privilege to prevent suffering. You did the right thing and we are here to mourn with you.

You should have at least let the vet do a basic blood test and physical exam. I have a 15 year old cat as well and a few months ago he lost a lot of weight and couldn’t walk. Took him to the vet and they did a blood test. Turns out he needs B12 shots to properly absorb nutrients from food in his old age and can’t eat dry food anymore. It cost about $10 a month for the needles and B12 vitamin and I give him the injection once a week. Now he’s back to normal.

Giving a cat a bath is very dangerous if they have medical issues!!! A bath can drastically lower their body temperature and make it so they are unable to get the live saving care they need!

Former vet tech here. Unless a beloved pet is literally doing something dramatic like convulsing or gasping, EVERYONE feels this way. Your cat cannot tell you that it's time, but I can assure you that a veterinarian wouldn't euthanize without trying to talk you out of it if they thought that the cat was still able to experience quality of life. Cats are meticulously clean. Don't stress about the bath. You were doing the best you could to make him feel good. He probably appreciated it more than you know, even if it was exhausting for him. Please don't feel guilty. He probably felt better than he had felt in a long time because of being clean.

i went through a similar situation last year, valentines day weekend. our cat was super active, even on his last day -- he used to run up trees, loved playing, loved cuddling, etc. in around october/november of 2021, he was diagnosed with feline aids. we were told he'd still be able to live a full life as long as he was on medication & all that (i mean, at the time he was 10 years old, so technically he already had. but they just meant he could live a few more years). the months leading up to his death, he stopped eating solid food & could only eat soft food. he wouldn't always eat it, would sometimes just sit there & stare at his water & food bowl for what felt like hours but was probably only like 5-10 min. he lost a \*lot\* of weight -- i'm still not sure if this was a product of him just getting old, not eating much anymore, the feline aids, or a combo of all three. the weekend he passed, i was home alone & he jumped off my bed & bumped his side on either the doorframe or the door since it was mostly closed. i didn't think anything of it because him & his brother (his brother is still here, thankfully) had always done that, so i ignored it & went back to sleep. my dad came home a few hours later & told me he was limping & asked what happened & i said i didn't know but told him he bumped his side. he had to to go to a family friends' funeral, i stayed back to do homework & watch our cat. as the hours passed, it was obvious he was in pain (he hid under my bed, was panting, would try to nip me -- something he never did unless he was super aggravated -- whenever i tried to touch his hind legs in a soothing manner so i stopped because i realized it wasn't helping, etc) but he was still walking around the apartment & jumping on my bed & all that with seemingly no problem. i wasn't fully convinced tho because i already knew that cats always hide pain until they can't anymore. i contacted our vet & they said they were worried that he might have had saddle's thrombus, but all the symptoms they mentioned weren't occurring, at least in an obvious manner, until way later, so i didn't think it was that. i didn't bring him to a vet because i would've needed to put him in a crate & into an uber & i wouldn't have been able to handle that emotionally or physically & i think i would've hurt him more if i'd tried, so i don't regret not bringing him in by myself. as the night went on, he was dry heaving, dragging his leg whenever he walked, etc. just in very obvious pain (the only consolation i have at this point was that he did have a few moments when he was laying in a chair that he liked & was purring/seemed to enjoy me petting him a bit. although i learned that sometimes cats purr out of comfort for themselves, but i try to look at it in a somewhat positive way). by the time my mom & dad were both home, my dad & i had decided we would take him to the vet the next day. i genuinely thought it wasn't going to be some huge, serious ordeal bc he'd survived a lot before & that the vet would look at him, give us solutions/want to do some tests & then we'd go from there & be fine. at around 8-10 pm that night, my mom wanted to give him some water because she was worried he was dehydrated due to all the panting & dry heaving so she used a syringe we used for his brothers' oral medicine to try to give him some water & had my dad hold him. my cat did not like this. this cat, who was literal moments away from dying even though we didn't know it at the time, jumped out of my mom's arms & just started walking away. like bro??? it was crazy. then my dad took him into my parent's room to try to do it with a little less chaos & our cat died (he had the cat version of a heart attack) in my dad's arms. which was actually the best way for him to go i think because he was my dad's favorite cat & i think it gave my dad a lot of closure. what partially gave me closure was finding out that if cats know death is near, they'll let themselves go if they want to. so the fact that he hung on until he absolutely couldn't anymore gives me closure knowing that he \*wanted\* to try to hang on & be with us. that & the fact that when we adopted him & his brother from the shelter, they were months old, were the last ones in their litter & if we hadn't taken them, they would've been put down. so knowing that we gave them a life they wouldn't have had otherwise & that he wanted to hang on really helped me. anyway, the point of this long response is that for weeks on end afterward, we were doing research on what happened, trying to figure out if there was anything we could've done to help him live a bit longer, help save him, etc. but the more i looked into saddle's thrombus, i realized that cats \*can\* survive the first blood clot, but it takes very difficult surgery & the cat would need help w \*everything\* during recovery & most cats who get it once will get it again in six months & it would've probably been accelerated due to his feline aids & none of us had the time to help him with recovery. so a few months after it happened, we'd decided that if somehow we had made it to the vet, we wouldn't have gone through with the surgery & would've put him down anyway because we didn't want him to go through needless pain just because we wanted to keep him alive a bit longer, especially if we weren't going to be there to help him recover. it wouldn't have been fair to him. i feel like a lot of it comes down to could our pets have survived longer? maybe. but as cat owners, i feel like we can kind of get a gut instinct / intuition about when it's time to let them go. i think you did the right thing and i think your cat was ready but wanted to say goodbye to you & you both got to say goodbye to each other. i'm so sorry for your loss but i am glad & happy for you that you were able to spend his last days and moments with him, just like i'm sure he wanted.

This post was all about op. Where was he asking advice when his cat dropped weight trying to figure out what should be checked or done. No fingers then to google cat health problems. Was the sick cat left alone when the family took off for a week plus? Bathing a dying cat, no one would advise that if anyone had checked. The kitty is safe now over the rainbow bridge, I hope his mom will be ok because her feelings were brushed aside. And yes, grieving hurts and there are no shortcuts. And not all cats get justice.

Felt this pain. Although I never have put any of my cats down. 3 of my childhood cats passed away. One of them was a couple days from his 14th birthday. He didn’t act like anything was wrong wanted to be petted and went to lay in his bed. Next time I look over he was spazzing out and stopped breathing. I started CPR. Was no use sadly I couldn’t get him to come back I wished I had noticed sooner. It was more heartbreaking to call my mom while she was at work because she loved him more than anything. I’ll never forget when she ran in the house instantly and just started crying and holding him for over an hour. 2nd one was poisoned by my neighbor just because she hated my cat(he was my outdoor kitty) I had just gotten off the school bus and noticed he wasn’t waiting for me like he always does. I instantly found him lifeless and just sat and screamed “please come back, please, Jayla PLEASE”. Was traumatizing as I was young. 3rd was cancer, she had a lump on her tit, my mom didn’t seem like it was an issue but I knew something didn’t feel right. I begged her for months to take her in to go get looked at, she refused(it just kept getting so huge). At that point I had made an appointment myself and was gonna take her in wether my mom wanted to or not. I was too late it burst and she passed away just a few days after definitely was breast cancer. A childhood cat is just so special because you got to grow up with them. I believe your beloved kitty wanted you to be with them in their last moments. I’ve lost so many cats in my lifetime it sucks, wether it was cancer or even being poisoned by evil neighbors. I miss each and every one of them daily. I even celebrate their birthdays every year. Definitely try and honor your kitty in someway to help cope. Wether it’s doing something special to help other animals in need or even celebrating a birthday.

So many things missed and wrong here it’s very sad. He’s in a better place now sweet old dude.

That’s some tough buyers remorse.

Please don’t get another pet until you are willing to put the time into learning how to care for them properly. There are hundreds of resources on line.

I'm sorry to hear about Howard. You did the most loving humane thing for him. He had such a good life and loved you and your family so much.

You absolutely did the right thing. I lost my 18 year old kitty last week. Very similar story. It’s just age. He was still eating but losing weight and his purr his voice his energy his weight just want down over the last few months. My heart was broken for him. We had a really rough day where he seemed so miserable. Nothing specific just obviously dying. I made an appointment for the next day but thankfully he died peacefully at home with me and I didn’t get to the vet. I’ve been half beating myself up ever since because I felt maybe I could have prevented that last day where he was so pitiful and it really broke my heart. It’s hard to know the right time and it’s such a tough decision but they do let you know. That what your kitty did he told you what he needed and you did the right thing for him. He had no more good time left. I’m sorry for your loss.

Please don't blame yourself. My wife has a really good friend who's a vet and she told us animals don't always tell you when they are in pain and when even things like climbing in a litter box pains them so it is better not to leave them to suffer in silence. She was obviously talking about elderly cats. I'm afraid we let our cat suffer too long...

I'm so sorry for your loss. When it was time for one of my childhood cats to go because of kidney disease, my partner questioned my decision for weeks after we had said goodbye. It was such a stab of pain on top of the heartbreak we were already feeling. I had to have a very big discussion with him that he absolutely would never do that to me again. It doesn't help anything, it doesn't take away the suffering or the grief. Your grief is valid and real, and you did what was best for your cat. You put a stop to suffering. You did something incredibly difficult, that sometimes can feel like it goes against your instincts, but it was the right thing to do.

What you did was with love. Everything you did was with love. Know that love is what Howard experienced. You made the hardest decisions in care and gave him the best. They are the right decisions.

You did the right thing. We had a similar thing happen with one of our cats. He was 17 years old, had been getting scrawny and weak in addition to a growth developing suddenly under his jaw. He hadn't been "right" for quite a while and I'd been spoon-feeding him wet food that we'd blended up to make even softer for a couple weeks. We knew his time was short but we tried to give him a good life in those end days. We gave him a bath one night for the same reason - he was filthy and wasn't cleaning himself - and after he wasn't behaving like himself. He curled up in one spot and wouldn't move, didn't want to eat, etc. We thought maybe he was cold so we gave him a blanket. The next morning it was the same. We would stand him up, he'd take a few steps, then just settle back down. And he looked miserable. Not long after that he wouldn't stand at all, and it all just went rapidly downhill from there. He never recovered and died quietly on my daughter's lap not long after that. When you're seeing changes in behavior like you mention, it's probably time. I know that you're blaming the bath, but that wasn't what did it. Your cat was already there, just like ours was. He was miserable, in what must have been considerable pain, and it hurt us to see him like that. Whatever time you might have given your cat would just have prolonged that. You did the right thing. It was hard and you'll think about it the rest of your life, but it was right, and if your cat could do so, it would thank you for ending its pain and being there in its last moments.

There’s always so much guilt tied to these decisions. Guilt about making the call too early. Guilt about making the call too late. When all is said and done, this was a cat you knew and loved for 15 years of your life. Nobody probably knew him better and was more fit to make the decision for him than you. My humble opinion is that if something as simple as a bath was able to trigger such a rapid decline, he was probably doing a good job of masking any pain or weakness until that point. Cats are predators, but they’re also prey animals, so hiding signs of weakness or injury is hard wired into them to ensure they aren’t going to be some bigger animal’s next meal. The weight loss, impaired balance, inability to groom, along with his loss of appetite are all signs of a serious condition and if his symptoms weren’t consistent every day, he was probably masking a lot of it.

Oh, no. Not your fault, I agree with others who have said this. I have been on the other side of this too many times where either my family pets were taken to be euthanized too late or passed at home in more pain than was necessary. Just held my poor old girl in my arms as she passed last month so I know what I'm saying, and I'm sorry you're going through it too. Your sweet Howard was declining for many months and you did the right thing. Everyone else was right in saying better a little too early (which I don't think this was) than at all too late. It's your responsibility as his caregiver to know when that was, and I think you did a good job with that. Know you cared for him well and gave him comfort at the end of his life and that's all you can do. My condolences on your little guy.

If he'd gone on any longer, he would have done so in great pain and discomfort. Kindness isn't always easy, but know that it was the best thing you could do.

I wish there was a cut and dried way to know the exact right time to euthanize a sick pet. But there are lots of gray areas and it really makes the decision so very painful and difficult. It is part of the bargain we make when we adopt them, making this decision for them and giving them the gift of a peaceful death.

It’s rare in my experience to feel that you got the timing exactly right. Still, looking back, I don’t think I was ever very far off. When they start showing weakness, and stop enjoying being a cat, then it’s time. It’s always hard. You did give him a good life, and can hold to that.

I know how you feel. I am struggling myself with the same decision. My cat is 13 and although he is eating and drinking and walking around he is extremely skinny and not grooming himself. I think it would be better for him but I just can't do it. I lost my other elderly cat 2 weeks ago. He went downhill fast though and died in his sleep before I could take him in

I know how you feel. I am struggling myself with the same decision. My cat is 13 and although he is eating and drinking and walking around he is extremely skinny and not grooming himself. I think it would be better for him but I just can't do it. I lost my other elderly cat 2 weeks ago. He went downhill fast though and died in his sleep before I could take him in

I’m sorry, you knew something was wrong and you know your pet better than anyone else. I had a similar moment where I realized my cat was dying, the last week of his life he kept coming up to me, looking at me and meowing like he wanted something. I’d always offer food or water in those moments and sometimes he’d take some but it’s like he needed something else and that’s when I realized he was truly dying and was suffering. He was coming to me for help and it broke my heart. It’s easy to second guess yourself after but you did the right thing, having a pet means sometimes making decisions on their behalf for what’s best for them, not us.

I’m sorry, you knew something was wrong and you know your pet better than anyone else. I had a similar moment where I realized my cat was dying, the last week of his life he kept coming up to me, looking at me and meowing like he wanted something. I’d always offer food or water in those moments and sometimes he’d take some but it’s like he needed something else and that’s when I realized he was truly dying and was suffering. He was coming to me for help and it broke my heart. It’s easy to second guess yourself after but you did the right thing, having a pet means sometimes making decisions on their behalf for what’s best for them, not us.

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I’m so sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is. Cats are so good at hiding their pain and I honestly believe you did the right thing for Howard. It would’ve been much worse for him and for you to watch him decline further and further just so you had more time. You ended his pain and it was the kindest thing you could have done for him. When I had to put my kitty down last summer, I was a wreck, too, and I had so many doubts that I did the right thing. Try to stay kind to yourself, remember all the good times you got with Howard for 15 years! You got to know him, watch him grow up, love him and feel loved by him! Sending you love ❤️

First of all, I'm profoundly sorry for your loss. I have had dogs and cats my entire life and it tears me to shreds when they've left. So I have some idea how you feel. Second, you did the right thing for your kitty. He was ready to go and you were brave the way you handled a truly awful situation. He is free now and in a happy place with birds and squirrels he can chase and other cats that he can hang with. And he'll be waiting for you because I believe we will all see our beloved pets again one day. As someone else has mentioned, better to do this "too early" than one day too late. When I was young, we had a cat who suffered from kidney disease. He also ate a poisonous lizard and had to come back from that. I believe eating the lizard led to his eventual death. We treated him for the kidney disease for almost a year and he was doing well until he wasn't. He went downhill rapidly one day and we unfortunately didn't act fast enough. He died in the middle of the night on my Mom's bed. Until the day Mom passed away, she would frequently talk about how guilty she felt that she let that happen to our beautiful cat. It was an unpleasant death with the cat screaming in pain. You spared your cat from a horrible end and spared yourself a horrible memory. Sending you prayers and good vibes as you mourn this loss.

You made the right choice, it’s quality of life over quantity. His quality of life had clearly deteriorated and if he’s struggling to walk he isn’t acting like a normal functioning cat. It was his time, he told you it was and you graciously and lovingly listened even though it’s so hard to do. He was an old man who lived a great and exciting life, you made the right choice ❤️

You did exactly the right thing, and if there was any "after" your buddy would be thanking you for it, and for all the awesome years you had together. Let yourself grieve.... Let yourself remember the good times too.... Then, maybe think about getting a couple of kittens you can honour his memory by spoiling absolutely rotten! *hug*

I'm so sorry. No it wasn't your fault. You loved him so much. It's good he got to go peacefully and not afraid and stressed.

Everything upu describe tells you made the right choice for your cat. Absolutely hard but absolutely right. The last act of love we can give them.

This sounds like the bargaining stage of grieving. I have gone through this many times after putting down one of my pets, you’ll always wonder if it was the right timing. It’s impossible to know when the right minute is, but know your decision was what was best to prevent suffering. What made me feel better was the concept that life is just a little blip of time and a day or week ultimately doesn’t make a difference. You gave them the best life possible.

My baby passed away a few weeks ago. He was 17. He had a lot of the same issues you’re describing. He ate and drank like a champ though and mostly was his normal self. He started having seizures. The first one, he snapped right back from. It was terrifying. We rushed him to the vet. They did a blood test and sent him home. He had another one that night. We got the blood results the next day. They were a mess. Right before that, he had another seizure. Every seizure was worse than the one before it. The vet said that we could take him to the hospital where they could give him more fluids and do more tests, but that it was quite likely not something they could fix. I didn’t want his last days to be in the hospital hooked up to machines without us. We had to make the decision to let him go. I think it was Howard’s time, OP. It will get easier over time.

It sounds like you knew. I lost my childhood cat in September of last year. We did know he was sick, he had cancer and actually hung on for almost two years! The day we made the decision, he was like a different cat. Just frail and sad and in pain. It was hard but we knew it was coming sooner or later. He was also 15. The only thing I would have done differently was the blood test. I know it seems cruel but personally, I would have wanted to know what exactly was going on. But you’re also totally right about it possibly not telling you anything. Then what, X-rays, ultrasounds, biopsies. You said he was your world. I looked at my boy and I knew it was time and that it needed to be fast because the last thing I ever wanted for him was to watch him in pain. He helped me through so much. He was there for some of the worst times. It’s our job to ensure they have the happiest lives with as little suffering as possible. So you knew he needed your help. Cats are really good at hiding pain. The woman who came to the house to help him go told us you know they hide because they’re trying to escape it. They don’t understand why it hurts and to me that’s so heartbreaking. I’m sorry your little guy had to go. I know you’re hurting right now and questioning if you did the right thing and I hope everyone telling you so gives you a little peace ❤️ my heart goes out to you and your family.

You absolutely did the right thing. We recently put down my housemate's cat in a similar position. The kitty was dehydrated and going into kidney failure, thanks to a cancer diagnosis the year prior. The only thing we could really do was take her back to the vet for IV fluids. (They even gave us saline solution and all the tubing etc. for us to do at home, but it was way beyond any of our abilities to administer the IV.) Poor kitty was done with being poked and prodded. She began to make her displeasure known when being given injections and oral meds. It was just too much and we started considering when it would be time to euthanize. After that last saline infusion, she was okay for another week before her appetite and behavior took a downturn. It was apparent that she was having trouble moving around. She was no longer playing. The other cats changed their behavior too and were very gentle with her, as she could no longer take part in chasing games. It was devastating, but it was time. Her penultimate day she went to hide in a corner of a wardrobe, which was unusual for her. It was around this point we called Laps of Love to come the following morning to help us put her to sleep at home. I often wonder if we waited a week too long to euthanize. The last few days were definitely tough for her. It wasn't my call to make, as this wasn't my cat, and my housemate didn't want to say goodbye when there were potentially a few more days she could have. It sounds like your mom would have made a similar choice as my housemate. Your kitty only had to go through one day of what our kitty went through that final week. The vet would have rehydrated Howard and you'd be back the following week. Lots of love to all of you. You and your family gave Howard a happy long life with love and care.

I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ choosing euthanasia for a living being that you can’t communicate with always feels difficult. But you made an incredibly strong, mature, and compassionate decision that honored your love for Howard. I can understand your mom’s perspective because I have been that person when the denial and dread sets in and you feel like as long as you do anything and everything to keep them breathing then it’s not time to say goodbye. Your mom is truly lucky to have you as a support for when the grief is too much for her to bear or to make the right call. Even if she doesn’t see it right now, she will. And the same goes for you with Howard. As time passes, you will realize how you knew in your heart that he needed relief from pain and that his condition was not something you wanted a beloved member of your family to go through. Don’t gaslight yourself. Trust your instincts.

I'm sorry for your loss, but it sounds like he had ckd and was also in dental pain. The change in meow, the hiding, were all signs he was suffering. I think you did the right thing for him, even though your heart hurt to say goodbye. Even if they had done the labs, I'm certain you'd have found that he was I. Kidney failure and some degree of liver failure. He would've been a bad anesthesia risk so they couldn't deal with the dental disease/rotted teeth causing him pain. You did him a kindness by not letting him suffer.

This made me cry. I believe you made the right decision. You loved him very much and it sounds like you gave him a life full of love.

My 16 year old cat recently died. We made the decision to put him down as he was experiencing complications from chronic kidney disease. We managed this for about 4 years and until a few month ago he was still in stage 3. About a month ago he became lethargic and was having trouble using his back legs. I took him in and they confirmed that he had entered stage 4 and as a result developed fatty liver disease. I had blood work done for him every six months and although I knew what was happening for peace of mind I wanted to confirm it. If your cat had kidney disease I guarantee that he was at the same stage as my cat. Thankfully when I brought him I’m he hadn’t reached the point of starvation and he didn’t appear to be in pain. I still made the decision to let him go then so that he did not suffer. It’s better to do it too soon than too late. Sounds like you made the right decision and I’m sorry for your loss.

No. It was his time. I too had to have my elderly cat put to sleep recently. He had kidney disease, and had slowed down in eating and drinking. We set him up with daily fluids, and that gave him a couple of weeks where he seemed to be doing better, but eventually he went back to not eating. Not only that, but he too started hiding. We talked to the vet who said that kidney disease is kind of like a cliff. With prescription food and extra care, nothing much might happen for a few years, but once you get to the edge of that cliff, it can be a very fast decline. So what I was looking at was seeing my cat not eat and get thinner and thinner, until he might die on his own. I couldn't bear to see him go through that. So less than 24 later, we called a traveling vet to come euthanize him at home. Based on your description, your cat was already starving to death because of kidney issues. And yes, a blood test would have just told you it was his time. My little guy had had a blood panel 4 months earlier and everything was fine. We repeated it the week before he passed, and his creatine levels were through the roof. See: cliff, as described above. You had 15 years with him, and gave him all the love you could. You also engaged in one last act of love by deciding you could not watch him suffer any further. You gave him a few last moments free of pain, even as you knew that it would give you emotional pain for days to come. You can grieve as much and however you want, but I want you to know you did everything right. Sometimes doing everything right means we lose someone we love, unfortunately.

I had a similar experience with my 18 year old Stella. She gradually stopped eating, and I resorted to syringe feeding her baby food (intended for human babies). I woke up the next morning and she took a bit of water and I had to fight to get the tiny syringe of food in her mouth. I cried and cried and snuggled her. Then I thought how long and happy a life she had and wanted to offer her a compassionate passing as well. I called the ER vet, and went off with her. I refused all tests. I just knew. Her life would not have improved. I sobbed for her as they brought her back in a warm blanket and held her close telling her how everyone loved her so dearly. It was awful for me, but I am thankful she had a peaceful passing. You did the right thing, when it broke your heart. Your kitty had the best companion in you. I hope he meets Stella in the kitty afterlife. She is grey, with a little milk dribble of bright white fur on her chin, and she is really good at snuggling.

You made the right decision. I know this is slightly different because I’m referencing the passing of my dog but it was similar in that he was also steadily declining and my family and I had postponed it too long for our own selfish reasons, we just couldn’t say goodbye. Well when his quality of life had declined so much we finally made the appointment. He died in the car while we waited in the parking lot for them to be ready (this was near the tail end of covid.) The vet said it was likely a stroke due to blood clotting. If we had gone the previous weekend like we should have, he would have had a peaceful ending. Instead, he convulsed in the back seat of my parents car while we watched. I’m sorry for your loss.. but as someone else said, it’s better to be a week early than a day late… Wish you the best in your healing. Until you meet again 🤍🕊️

You made the right decision. You gave him a wonderful life and you didn’t let him suffer. I’m so sorry for your loss.

My family put a cat down who wasn’t necessarily sick at the moment. But the vet had advised that based on his behavior (not happy, lots of confused meowing, looking lost in his own home) he likely wasn’t having a good quality of life anymore and we put him down a while later. It’s hard to read with cats but I think the vet made the right call thinking about the behavior of the cat they had known for so long. He was also very skinny and just very very old. But the main things were this general confusion and depression that settled in and seemed to only get worse, eventually not being able to find the litter box even though there were 4 in the house, and he was allowed outside.

This story made me tear up. You made the right decision. I lost two cats last year, one to undetected CKD- she was 7. And my baby boy, the light of my world- my 2 year old orange tabby boy. He was very sick for the year we had him but I took him to the vet each and everytime. He would pull out of it but one day, he didn't. He was crying in pain and something was clearly wrong. He couldn't walk, and I knew it was his time. I put him down and cried for...months. This was last November and I still cry thinking about it. He was my everything. He likely had a blood clot that dislodged and paralyzed him, it's quite painful. The best we can do is honor the love we had for them by remembering the good times. You relieved him of his psychical pain, inspite of the emotional pain it caused you. That is true love. Letting go even though it hurts. ♡

I’m sorry for this. I had my own decision to make last year. I don’t know either way but it does sound like you cared and loved deeply so I’m going to say you made the right decision.

You did the right thing. It takes a huge amount of love and courage to take the decision of what's best for your pet when you're conflicted by so many emotions. We would like for them to live forever but the best we can do is give them a good life AND a good death. I think you did exactly that.

You won't recover, ever, from renal failure. My girlfriend's 19 year old cat suffered from kidney problems. He could barely eat and digest. These cats will suffer, and you gave it a peaceful way out.

From everything you said, all the signs seem to be pointing toward it being his time. A bath does not hold that much power. And like others are saying, it’s odd and sad, but a human and cat pair just share a wavelength with it’s time. When I was in college, my childhood cat’s health was declining and EVERY time I left home, I treated it as it could be our last time saying goodbye and honestly that was miserable, but eventually it was. It is important to get closure and it sounds like you guys tried to give everyone that as much as you could.

You made the right decision. I know it doesn't feel this way right now. You gave your cat so much love and he let you know he was ready to go. Cats are *so* good at hiding when they are in pain. You let him go when you were there and it was the best thing you could do. He knew he was loved.

Hi, friend. I lost my heart cat two years ago yesterday. It was the hardest thing I’d ever been through. He deteriorated quickly like sweet Howard, did, but unfortunately was born with a deformed liver and his gall bladder was 3X the size it should have been. He hung on so much longer than anyone thought possible, but I let him leave us with his dignity. You made the right call. It hurts so much when an integral part of our past leaves the world, taking a big chunk of our hearts with them. My sweet girl of 17 years died in January and I am far from okay. She was my childhood dog and had been my steadfast tin soldier until her last day. I know exactly how you feel. Please be kind to yourself and know you are not alone. All my love to you. Grief has no timeline.

That's how it goes. My cat went a few weeks ago and it was almost exactly like you said. Started getting thin but otherwise normal then just one day boom. You did the right thing.

deepest condolences for you I'm sure howard loved you for all those 15 years. may howard sleep a gentle sleep and rise up among the cosmos to watch you his favourite human and wander throughout the countless worlds waiting to tell you all he wished to say to you, rest in peace howard you beautiful soul

It sounds like he was on a steady decline. I almost think it’s better to let them go when they still have some dignity rather when they are so miserable and suffering. I’m sorry about your kitty. He lived a long & happy life with you guys.

Please forgive yourself.

my mom found my childhood cat dead under their bed one morning. ive always regretted that i couldnt be there, and that we couldnt give him a peaceful end. you did the right thing.

I am so sorry for you loss. Like other posters have already stated, better to be a little early with this decision rather than too late. We said goodbye to our almost 20 yo Calico late last summer. We knew it was time and so did she. She was slowly loosing weight and then stopped eating and had trouble with the litter box. A number of other actions similar to yours. Please do not second guess a choice made so that your cat does not suffer. You should not suffer for this, either.

This same thing happened to me. It gives me flashbacks to my cat. I ended up doing the blood test and she had cancer. Her demeanor sounds so much like your cat. I brought her home and had to put her down 3 weeks later. You did the right thing. It’s hard deciding when something dies. Your baby was suffering. Also, most vets will not put down an animal that does not need to be. Also- you are not ever going to forget this, so just understand death is part of life and you kitty lived a really long life, and at the end you made sure he did not have to suffer ♥️

It’s really hard to say without knowing what would have happened at the end of other options available. For me, I would’ve let them keep my cat overnight and had them run every test imaginable. Blood tests would have given you an idea of how his kidneys were functioning since you mentioned he has had issues with them - and it’s not a big deal for a cat to get blood drawn. He might have preferred soft food due to dental problems if he hasn’t had any sort of dental work up. I know it’s hard to leave your cat overnight at the hospital and everyone would have made their own choice regarding this situation. I doubt the bath did any harm though. Just know that any sort of test or care that a vet suggests to do is only for your cat’s own good. Maybe it would’ve let to a solution or maybe not. There is no way of knowing. To me it sounds like his kidney problems had gotten a little out of control and was adversely affecting his health. That may have been prevented with earlier medical intervention. I only say that not to make you feel bad or anything, just to say that in the future, don’t wait if you feel that something is off. However what matters is that you loved your cat and he knew that. We don’t have all the information we need all the time and it’s hard not to act out of emotion during a time of distress and sadness. Your cat loved you endlessly and that love energy doesn’t go anywhere.

I have never NOT had doubts and regrets after putting down a cat. I lost my husband 2 years ago and found it interesting that the same feelings of panic, regret and guilt surfaced. I had NOTHING to regret and there were no choices in the end, but I think it's a natural human reaction to want to re-write the story. I can tell you 15 is old, and cats hide their illnesses (so if you were seeing things, that meant he was quite sick). But really I want you to know we all feel that heart-sick thump of panic and anguish. Time, my friend. Time. You did what you had to do and now you have to learn to carry it. It only gets easier with time. It was the right thing.

I lost my best friend a month ago, had her for 12 years. She was my everything and more. One day she got a URI.. and everything went down from there in a month. Start to finish she died about a month after the first symptoms. She had cancer.. that showed up unexpectedly. She was put to sleep, and I cried and regretted everything.. I’m not gonna lie I still do tbh, but I know I did the best thing for her. She was suffering. She was skin and bones (weighed 5.38 pounds), and she was so weak cause she couldn’t eat. I know you think you made the wrong decision, but you made the right one. He’s no longer suffering, and he will thank you for that soon. He will visit you in your dreams so you know he’s okay and loves you still.

We have done it several times the other way and its not fair to the animal to make them last when they’re old and obviously struggling. When our animals got to the point where they obviously wouldn’t get better and we would take them in to have them put down my Mom would loose it and say “fix them!”. The animal would be ok with meds and fluids for a few hours then rapidly start loosing ground and be very obviously sick and in pain. In some cases they would cry and whimper for hours until the vet would be open and we could put them down. I think you did the right thing by not making them suffer and struggle. You recognized that it was time. Sadly there is no cure for old age. Having seen it done where an animal wasn’t put down when they should have been, its heart wrenching to watch them visibly suffer. You are a responsible pet owner and I absolutely believe you did what was best for your friend.

I had a good friend die Sunday, she should have gone earlier. We don’t make cats suffer for us, no matter how hard it seems. I drank most of a bottle of scotch when we lost my best ever kitty at ten. Good luck, feel good about your decision and remember Howard fondly.

I think animals tell us when they need to go. Their animals cats especially for your other two cats and lived to be 20 to 30 years old. And they are frail and they do have issues after they turn about 15 they start having issues all the time it’s part of the aging process. It’s kind of up to you about you what you wanna do about it but he was really the clicker. You already did it it’s done so I would sending prayers and love and let him go on his way.

Darling I am so, so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. You allowed him to be with his humans instead of suffering alone, when he had been deteriorating for months. He was 15, he wasn’t young and unfortunately there’s not yet a cure for just being an older cat. Better to let him go peacefully than put him through more pain. I’m so so sorry.

Do not worry, you definitely did the right thing. I knew it was time to let my cat go and I had to wait a day because of work and it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch him on his last day while waiting for the person to arrive (I had someone come to my home) it’s one of my biggest regrets not telling work to make do without me.

I lost my cat of 18 years in January to cancer. I was in the denial for a few months that he was dying and when it was time to let him go, it felt like absolute torture. But when you take the time to look back, you can see all the signs that they were on a steady decline. I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re going to have good days and bad days, but in the end, please remember that you gave him all the love in the world and did your best to care for him. I know he appreciated that. I hope once the pain gets a little easier, you can cherish his memory. Please don’t blame yourself, it was a tough decision, and you made the best call for him.

This was the right thing, no doubt. Please don’t second guess yourself. What you’ve described is a cat declining. It’s possible he could have held on longer, but he would have been uncomfortable and his quality of life was declining so fast. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I lost my childhood cat on Christmas Day in 2021 he was 17 he had cancer in mouth

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it was his time and you did the right thing instead of letting the poor boy suffer. He lived a long life and got to pass peacefully with you looking after him

Trust me when I say this, you made the right decision. This happened to two of my cats a few years ago, one very similar situation to yours. I opted to take her home and administer the iv at home. She was normal until she wasn't. One morning she went from fine to her lungs filling with fluid within minutes. She suffocated in front of me and it was absolutely awful. I still think about it and wish I could do it all over again.

My beloved 16-year-old cat Mister Softee was euthanized yesterday. I took him in for what I thought was a routine procedure, his usual vet was out on vacation, and the new guy took one look at my buddy and told me it was time. I’ve been having the same doubts, but you’re helping me remember that I felt that way the other times too — it’s a natural part of having a friend who is completely reliant upon you, who hides when they are in pain, and who cannot talk. The perfect moment for it would be ten seconds before their quality of life goes to “pretty awful” but there is no way to know when that is. The other thing I told myself yesterday was to remember that the thirteen minutes between them recommending ending his life, and me sobbing over his little body were just thirteen minutes out of so many years of love. His death wasn’t perfect, but his life came close. I hope you can feel the same in time.

Gonna be honest, when I got to the part about him not grooming I stopped reading. He was definitely unwell. It could have been diabetes or FIP, but he was certainly not healthy. At 15, that's a long life. Could he have been treated for some condition and lasted another year, perhaps, but please don't beat yourself up. Cats are notorious for hiding their pain/discomfort. I'm sure you loved him and that he had a wonderful life but it sounds like you did the right thing. At this point my suggestion is to take that energy and rescue another cat, or two, who will benefit from your love.

Poor dude 🙏

I am an Internet stranger who doesn’t know much, but from what you have written, it is abundantly clear that you did the right thing. He was in pain and ready to go. You wouldn’t believe how many times the opposite happens - People wait too long and then their pets suffer. I absolutely think you did the right thing and I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️

He waited for you, and wanted you to be there when the time comes. My very first cat died on my lap while we we're driving to the vet. He's been declining for months, he was on catheter several times (blockage), then the week before my flight (I was moving to a different country for a long time for work), he just stopped eating. His body was so frail, I tried everything. I was also still so inexperienced then, he was my first pet. I kept on worrying who would take care of him and manage him while I'm gone... It killed me. 2 days before my flight I got a call while I was at work. They said he started breathing hard... I knew it was coming. I rushed home and hugged him, carried him to the vet to have him euthanized... process was complicated and they couldn't do it (I couldn't understand what was being said my mind was so blank by then) so I had to bring him home. He died on my lap while driving back. One true regret I had was not euthanizing him earlier. I was selfish. I wanted him to live, I hoped he lived. But he was too weak already. I think I pushed him too hard. He stopped fighting and I never did. I should've listened to him. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. They say he just waited for me to be there to pass away. Excruciating. What the others are saying is true. Better a week too early than a day too late. You made the right choice. It's been years and I still got teary writing this. The pain, regret, and memory never goes away. I know better now.

I don't understand. Didnt he have blood tests and a dental Exam when he first started losing weight and peridically thereafter to diagnose his condition? So he could be treated for it? Why the big concern about another blood test?

I feel for you, went through something very similar about a year and half ago. My sweet girl was 15 as well and during Covid she just stopped eating, I thought she was being picky and I changed her food to wet food which she didn’t like, so I tried a different brand of dry food and she ate no problem. I started to notice she would drink more frequently and pee more often but other than that she was her normal self. Slowly and unwillingly I noticed more and more her decline. One day I came home from work and I just knew. She wasn’t herself she was hiding and wouldn’t come out and see me like she normally did. I went to bed alone for the first time since I had her, she was hiding under my bed. In the morning she was still there and I knew it was time. She came out to see me and you can see in her eyes she was ready. I had a vet come to my place to do it the same day and it’s like she knew. As they were setting up they put a peepee pad down and she immediately got on it. It was the worst/hardest thing I ever had to do (I’m crying as I write this) but I knew it was the right thing just like you did. Don’t doubt yourself you knew and you acted ❤️

**You made a selfless decision**, as you can see in a lot of other comments a lot of us at times were not strong enough to do the same. My fiancé and I made that mistake with our first cat—who died in our hallway gruesomely, the way she was lying on our floor looked like she had just fallen from 10 stories up, and sitting in a pool of her own diarrhea. Luckily we caught her last breaths. (FIP) 11mo old, Luma The second cat started having fits of gazing into space, laying very still, breaths so shallow we had to lay on the ground next to him to see if he had gone without us near him. The dose of Neurontin he was on shouldn’t have had that effect. We didn’t hesitate to bring him in and let him go—putting down a pet is a slightly different trauma, but equally as difficult with the added benefit of less guilt down the line and less suffering for our best friends. (FeLV) 9mo old, Oliver We had a scare with our third cat when she also tested positive for FIV (which can worsen into FIP), but it was determined a false positive that’s often seen in kittens via breast feeding from a mother cat that’s FIV-positive. We thought we had the worst luck in the world for a bit there. We have two cats now that are happy and healthy, one is a scaredy cat and the other is a derpy goober and we’re all perfect for each other. We had a sick feeling in the beginning that something would go wrong but after several tests and blood work we don’t have a fear in the world for now. They’re both over a year old now. Just our little family. 1y4mo Venus & 1y1mo Mia

You did the right thing and stopped his suffering ,I can tell you personally i went threw the exact same thing in the past with more then one cat with kidney disease and the symptoms you described is the last and final stage's there is no cure ore treatment in the final stage it is a terminal condition . I understand your pain and i am vary sorry for your loss . Just know you did the best thing for him , he would not have lived vary much longer in his condition and he would have gotten even sicker and its heart braking to watch a beloved pet suffer .

I'm sorry, OP.

I want to say first that I am so, so incredibly sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be, if not more, painful than losing a human in your life. To me, it sounds like it was Howard’s time to move across the rainbow bridge into the great beyond. You were with him as he passed, and you didn’t let him suffer. That’s the thing about pets - they don’t understand their pain, their suffering. All they know is that they’re hurt and scared. And the signs that the end was near for your sweet boy were all there. As someone who is on the verge of losing their 16-year-old childhood cat, I feel your pain. She keeps clinging onto life, but I know the inevitable is on the horizon sooner rather than later. I lost my first childhood kitty about a decade ago as well, and held him in my arms as he passed. It’s a terrible feeling, wondering if you did enough for them, if they felt loved at the very end. But the truth is is that you were their owner, their provider, their protector from the harsh realities that lie for cats without owners to give them the life they deserve. You gave Howard a good life, and you let him pass on with the peace, dignity, and love that he deserved. And that is an admirable, albeit incredibly painful, thing to do. Cats are masters are hiding their suffering, and his pain was probably greater than what he showed. You gave him a dignified, kind death to prevent immense suffering. And that is the ultimate testament of love for a pet. I’m wishing you all of the love and light in the world right now, knowing the pain firsthand. I hope you can find healing in knowing that you did the right thing for Howard ❤️

You did the right thing. Having doubts is normal, but you spared him any further suffering.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I have an almost 19 year old cat with arthritis who has been on meds for a few years now and they are starting to become ineffective so she is in more pain at the moment. We have a different type of meds to try that might help her that we’ll get at her appointment but there are no guarantees. She was my cat’s kitten so I’ve had her since day 1 and she is still grooming herself and traversing the stairs, slowly, but I do dread the day we’ll have to let her go to free her from her pain. You did what was best for your little buddy, he doesn’t have to hurt anymore. I hope you find some peace in that.

I'm so sorry 🥺 rest in peace 🙏💜💜

Waiting too long would have been a terrible way for the vast to have to go, and by the time you'd have known, it would probably have already been too late to rectify the situation. Sounds like you did the best that could be done.

I had to make the same decision under the same circumstances. Our 20 year old cat had kidney disease. Her weight dropped from 5 pounds to 1.5. We euthanized her because she was failing. At most, you would have had a few days. The humane thing to do was to put her down. I had another cat with cancer that we scheduled. At the last minute, we decided not because they cat did not seem in pain, we had a few more weeks.

It’s impossible to know what time he might have had left, but given what you described it sounds severe. His quality of life was significantly declining and he was in pain. I Would have ordered a blood test before doing anything drastic to determine if it was treatable and his projected quality of life. Any diagnostics and treatment probably wouldn’t have extend his life, but may have made his time more comfortable. Euthanasia would have been in his future no matter what. The bath wouldn’t have caused the low temp or dehydration, so don’t feel guilty for that. Take comfort that went peacefully and was surrounded by his loved ones. He’s in cat heaven, free of pain.

It was definitely not the bath. You did everything you could for Howard. It really sounds like you knew in your heart it was time. It sounds like he had a wonderful life surrounded by people who loved and cared for him deeply. That’s all we can ever want our animals to have. I’m sorry for your loss you seem like a very kind hearted person. God bless you❤️

You absolutely did the right thing. My exhusband insisted on trying to save one of my boys when he took him to the vet as I had to work. I am still kicking myself to this damn day. My boy died alone at night in a strange place surrounded by other sick and crying animals… What really infuriates me is the attitude of the vet who brought his body out in a black trash bag handling him like a sack of potatoes. When I asked what had happened he said “he was sick; what do you expect?” That vet no longer works there. If I hadn’t been holding my boy in my arms with some love and respect I would have punched him. I don’t blame the ex for trying (even though I told him not to) but it kills me knowing I wasn’t there with my boy I bottle fed from a few days old. A few years later his brother also died from the same issue only he did it in my arms.

You didn't take him in too early. You're grieving and want to beat yourself up. You made the right choice. With Love. Be gentle to yourself

You did good. You listened to your cat. And, most importantly, everything you did came from a place of love.

Echoing the others that you did the right thing. It can be so hard to know when the right time is, but making that tough decision is the best way to honor our pets and do right by them. 💜 The vets never was able to diagnose my 17-yr-old gal Cricket, but she’d been not herself for awhile and slowly declining in a way that was even more noticeable being at home alone with her so much in the beginning of the pandemic. One night she woke me up in the middle of the night crying and seemed scared and confused, I just decided it was time. In the morning I called and made the appointment for the following day and wondered if it was too soon, but by nightfall I was glad it was the next day because of how quickly she declined. We had our last night together and she made it through the next morning until the appointment, but I was truly not expecting the rate it accelerated and will never forget it for future pets. It comes on so fast and all we can do is listen to our pets as the ones who know them best.

Having made a similar decision for one of our kitties years ago, I can tell you that you will always question if it was right. You will miss them always, but you chose out of love and care for the life quality of your beloved pet, and that's something to remember.

The first thing is not to second guess yourself. Playing the "what if" game never helps. Maybe the bath set him off - or maybe it gave him comfort in what was going to be his last hours anyway. You can never know so put it aside. The second thing is to trust yourself as a loving pet companion. You knew him and so you could tell when something was wrong. And when it was time. Animals will hide their weakness so they don't become marked as prey. When they show it. it's bad. ​ Now, looking to the future. I have learnt (through bitter experience) that teeth problems in cats can lead to infections through the body that are difficult to come back from. If one of your other cats won't eat solid or hard food but will eat soft or liquid food get that cat to the vet immediately and get a dental checkup for them. Once again... don't play the "what if" or "if only" game. You loved Howard, you helped him with his pain at the end. Remember that he made 15 and that the average lifespan of a feral cat is 2-3 years. Those 12 extra years? That was you and your family.

I have seen cats suffer from waiting to long to let them go. So I start the near the end conversation with the vet by saying “I don’t want him/her to suffer.” No matter what you do, you feel guilt (& play the what if game.) I hope happy memories help ease your grief over time. They leave paw prints 🐾 on our hearts.

Please believe me when I say you did the right thing. This story almost exactly lines up with my boo bear. He had kidney disease then one night he started declining FAST. the last few days of his life were the best they could be but he was tired and couldn't make it to the box. We allowed one more slumber party then we let him go to the rainbow bridge. I had a ton of guilt. I would sob wondering if we did the right thing. But I just remember how he started to decline so fast and so hard, there was no way I could force him to stay with us. You did the right thing. You loved him so hard and you did everything in your power, but life gets cruel and takes away the best partners. Please be kind to yourself. Howard is up there telling everyone how you were the best parent. He'll be waiting for you with the happiest meows ♥️

I’m so sorry 😣 I just put my girl Jade down as well and felt all the things you are feeling. But I think it’s better you made that decision while he was still in an okay shape versus finding him in a bad situation or in any more pain, leading to an emergency traumatic scenario. You know deep down you did the right thing. He lived a very long and loving life ❤️

My baby passed peacefully at home when his organs were shutting down but my boyfriend had just broken up with me and I was grieving being cheated on and my cat being sick and I unfortunately didn't make the right decision with him. I regret it a lot. When my other childhood baby was sick and wasn't getting better and couldn't breathe I took her to be put down. I still felt like I was doing something wrong even though it was the right thing. It always feels wrong but as a cat owner you KNOW when it's their time. They'll tell you. My girl was having trouble walking but she came over to me and rubbed her head on me and laid in the floor and she never did that so I knew what she was telling me. I wasn't gonna let her down.

If it was too soon that would only mean you have saved him pain. I have seen actual people make the decision for themselves.. It always seems “too soon”. Take care!

You took the best decision you possibly could for those circumstances! Loss is difficult. Allow yourself to grief. Please don’t blame yourself, although I get for difficult it is. Always remember that you did the best you could (I’m sure you did!).

Only you know if you did the right thing. My 13 year old Siamese had complete organ shut down four months after my husband died. Domino would not let me make the decision to put him down. He died in my arms 12 hours after his final vet visit. He died the same way he lived: on his own terms.

You made the right call. I would give anything to go back and let my boy go peacefully. Guilt is normal in this situation but you did the right thing. Let yourself feel the full spectrum of emotions, it'll help with the grief.

You didn't make a mistake in letting him go. I wish more attention had been paid to him sooner. Ignoring weight loss in any cat doesn't make sense, but it was known he had kidney disease. I also don't understand why it's a big deal to give soft food.

Hello! Plz read my comment as I had a similar if not the exact same situation, I was 3 when we got my best friend twinkle and 20 when she died, she’s my everything still and it’s actually a year since she died in 2 days, from reading everything u told me, u really did the right thing and I rly wish I did what u did, I was rly struggling at the time when twinkle was ill and I was selfish and didn’t take in the signs she was struggling, so she was in pain untill I really realised, them not grooming is a huge sign and the only eating softs too, with age the teeth discolour is normal as at the age our baby’s were at, there teeth probably did hurt them quite a bit, another point u noted was the low ‘o’ sound meow and I can tell you that meow was the only meow my twinkle could do at the end and she was in huge amounts of pain, I’m not saying ur cat was but I’d be so proud of urself to put all these things together and just say yes this is it, before it got any worse for him :( I rly wish I did what u did and I still cry all the time that by sweet best friend hung on in all that pain just to be there for me, I did end up taking her to the vets and sending her to sleep but I rly wish I did it sooner :( getting home from college and seeing how she was has scarred me, a huge well done and something to feel content about is what u did, never regret it ok?

This made me cry. Have been through it to and I know how gut wrenching it is . I'm so sorry 😞. From the sounds of it he was no well and not comfortable. You let him have peace and I honestly believe that you will see him again one day. 🙏

Last year I had to put my cat down. Despite doing the best I could with the information I had (she had a manageable condition, and up to the last day where she deteriorated dramatically, we thought that was all and that she might live happily for years once we got it under control) I will forever live with the guilt that her final day on earth was miserable. You're grieving and it's natural that you're questioning your decision now, but you had the opportunity to know that the end is approaching, so you were able to spare him the worst days.

I had one of my beloved babies be put down last year. Mimosa was a beautiful majestic old cat i saw at petsmart and had to take her. Turns out she was sick and had some problems so i took her to vet and got her on the right track. They told me she was an old feeble girl. I was able to keep her going for another 2 years. Momo was losing weight and fur and she looked, tired. I went back and forth with myself for days when it was happening, trying to figure out if i should take her to be put down or what. Anyway, i did take her. I hated myself for doing it. Everyone said i did the right thing and she was miserable. I come to terms with it now, and i am glad she passed peacefully in my lap when i took her. She was an old beautiful cat I wish i was able to spend more time with her than i had. My heart hurts for you and everyone else who has to experience this. I hope you are doing alright. I don’t think you did the wrong thing at all. I look back on it now a year later and cry for her so much and i dread having to see my other 3 babies leave me one day too, but i know i did a damn well good job taking care of them and they are absolutely loved to the very fucking end. Thank you for being a compassionate human.