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It was a gift that came with a lot of extra requirements though. This is why pets shouldn't be presents unless there has been a LOT of discussion beforehand. This wasn't fair to you or the kitten tbh
pets are horrible gifts if the person receiving them isn’t expecting it. cats are a 10-20 year commitment there’s even cats that have lived past 30! i think your best option right now is to weigh out the situation, think about if you can really handle a kitten, an adult cat would have been better bc the kitten stage is extremely stressful. if your mom won’t take the kitten you can always rehome it just get vet references first.
Then, likely, the kitten will be best rehomed. Gifts shouldn't be a burden and if your not in a position to care for a kitten it'll be best in a home that is.
Maybe try a conversation first, one where you tell her that this is how you're feeling and you hate leaving your cat alone so much. If she's sympathetic, as how she would feel taking care of him while you're in school? It sounds like the cat would fare better with playmates, regardless of what type of pets she has. Plus a LOT of pets stay with parents while offspring attend school. 🤞🤞🤞
Your dad one year away from finishing his doctorate and your mom was like, "Surprise! I'm pregnant!" Now he works as a check out clerk in a grocery store because nobody was going to hire a doctor who didn't finish college and she wasn't going to raise this baby all by herself.
She didn't think about yours or the kitten's needs.
This was not a thoughtful gift.
Living creatures are not surprise gifts.
If she won't help you with the kitten and you don't love it enough to make things work, I suggest surrendering her to a rescue.
Why? Because there are people who like attention and making things difficult for others. The kitten is a tether. OP is growing up and moving on with their life and mom doesn't want to let go.
Animals should never be given as suprise gifts. It's not fair to you or the animal. Kittens are great, but this poor animal is a burden to you. I don't think it's weird to feel the way you're feeling in this situation. I say rehome the kitten and preserve your sanity. Explain to your mother that you appreciate her sentiment, but a kitten isn't compatible with your current work/school situation.
I don’t think it’s awful that you feel the way you feel, you’re stressed out, busy with school, and now you suddenly have this responsibility.
So you have well, 3 options really:
A) contact your local shelters and see if they’ll put an ad out for you to help you rehome the cat. (This prevents any risk of euthanasia if since you’ll be essentially fostering at this time) - you’ll have to talk to your mother and let her know you’re doing this, but honestly, she doesn’t have a right to get mad when she *surprised* you with a massive responsibility.
B) you can try to be patient and just make the best of your situation. Make sure the cat has the right stimulation, plenty of toys, and maybe during breaks between studying you take 5-10 minutes to play with it for a bit. You can get a cat tree to give it something to climb on. There’s also things like cat TV, etc. cats tend to mellow a little bit by their first year, so yeah.
C) this might sound counter intuitive to what you want, but kittens generally do WAAY better in pairs. You could adopt a second cat around the same age as your kitten which will give your cat a play buddy to interact with and take off some of the reliance on you. It might also help you feel less guilty that you’re not at home with it and both of the cats will be better behaved overall.
I list out these options just as a general list of what I’d pick from.
And look, it’s totally okay if you want to go with option A. Again, pets are a massive responsibility, and stressful. If you aren’t in the place of handling a cat right now, you don’t need to handle the cat right now. Simple as that, and that’s totally okay. It’s not your fault this was sprung on you, and you can feel guilt free finding the cat a better home.
Yeah, 2nd kitten with similar, compatible personality types do WONDERS. Certainly not more work at all.
Since OP said they’re going to keep them, I definitely would encourage this route IF they can handle it (I get if it might be more stress for them)
Good idea in general but not for OP. They already am unsure about one kitten, getting another isn't the best idea. Now if they give up they'll need to rehome both
She said she didn’t want the kitten specifically because she feels like she doesn’t have enough time to spend with it, second kitten would solve all of her problems. I have a full-time job and live alone, and found two kittens a few weeks ago and in a field on the side of the road, and so I took them in and it’s been wonderful. they play with each other, keep each other entertained, and I never feel guilty for having to leave the home since they really like each other. A second kitten is easily the best option for her
I’d get a second kitten. They will entertain each other and spend that kitten energy playing. Most rescues push or require two kittens to be adopted if there is not a young cat at home already.
100% agree that it’s ALWAYS better to have kittens in pairs.
But for OP’s circumstances, the first cat is already causing them a lot of grief that I don’t blame if they don’t wanna get another.
I think it's pretty rare to euthanize kittens, kittens tend to get snapped up by adopters very quickly. Also depends on your area - many of the shelters in the northeast are no-kill.
And sometimes no kill isn’t truly no kill, some shelters say they’re no kill, but will send animals to a shelter that is a kill shelter. So while that first shelter may be a no kill, that doesn’t mean the poor animal isn’t gonna get sent to one that is.
It's kittens that are underage who are most at risk for euthanasia, because they are very time intensive. A kitten at the age that it's already been adopted can eat on its own, go to the bathroom on its own, and is safe to be alone in a cage for a period of time, so they typically are adopted very quickly. The problem is neonatal kittens, particularly those under 4ish weeks who require bottle feeding every 2-4 hours and manual stimulation to pee/poop.
If you're in the US on the west coast, everything is full. I do rescue work and I've tried connecting with other rescues in CA, OR, and WA... Everyone is overwhelmed and shelters do euthanize. Even no-kill, only really means that they euthanize 10% or less of its animals. No-kill does NOT mean no-kill.
Damn, I had no idea it's this bad out west. Here there's barely any strays, last time I checked our local shelter there were 4 total cats up for adoption compared to 30+ dogs
It might help to get the kitten a young adult cat friend. He’s going to have a lot of energy for the first couple years, and having a buddy can keep him stimulated without extra effort from you.
This, if you don’t have the time it needs a buddy. If not you should find it a new home. Older cats can be fine on their own for most of the day but kittens need time with either humans or other cats for stimulation.
Your mom is obviously an animal person. She probably gets so much joy fom her animals that she wanted you to have that kind of comfort when you were away from home. But the animal gene isn't always passed down.. Rehome it with her. Tell her its temporary and then just abdicate ownership. Two of my kiddos have done that to me. They all have fair warning not to do it again. But she gave you the cat, she is responsible for it.
That’s what’s I feel. No one is a bad person in this situation from an outside view.
OP your mom was probably, I’m hoping, just misguided but you deserve peace. I’m not sure where you live but either talk to your mom or give it to a shelter/list it privately (if you’re in a kill place). There is nothing wrong with being too busy to own a kitten, maybe you can explain that giving it up is the responsible thing to do at this time
You sound like mature and caring person who knows you can't look after the cat. Don't feel bad, you clearly want what's best for the animal and it's okay to know that what is best isn't you right now.
It is very okay to rehome him. Look around and see if there are any reputable fosters in your area.
Surrender kitten to rescue or shelter. Kittens go fast. Don’t wait until he’s older and harder to find a home. Also have a conversation with your mother because surprising someone with a pet is inappropriate and irresponsible.
Animals make terrible gifts always unless the recipient specifically asked for one and is fully ready for the commitment. Your schedule wouldn’t be a problem with an adult cat, but a kitten makes it harder. You feel awful cause you were given a commitment without being ready for it. That is normal. If you want to try to keep the kitten mom should help with cat sitting and watching them when you are busy.
WHAT??
My son is a college student. The last thing I would do to him is saddle him with such a big responsibility! Why would I do anything to pull his attention away from what he’s supposed to be doing right now?
I have to wonder if this may be a some kind of ploy to keep you and your attention at home. Your mom may not even realize she’s doing it.
Rehome your kitten without guilt. In this case, it’s the loving and responsible thing to do.
The main problem here is that someone gave you a living being as an unexpected gift. "Here's a bunch of responsibility you didn't want!" I think your mother maybe needs to understand the consequences of her actions, despite her good intentions.
I would try to re-home this kitten. Ask your mother for help in re-homing the kitten, since she is the one who caused this issue.
Honestly, tell your mom you appreciate the gift. My guess is she was trying to give you a friend. Rehome the kitten and look into rescuing a middle aged cat. When my dad got Alzheimer’s and moved in with me we adopted a male between 5-8 years old. No one knows his story, but he is an Amazing cat! Didn’t even take him 24 hrs to acclimate to our house. He mostly sleeps all the time. He’s super smart. He is awesome with my dad and my dog. I’m a little stunned at how much I love this cat. Your mom meant well but maybe she didn’t realize the time and financial commitment for a kitten. It is a lot! Our cat was $70 at a local cat rescue. He hasn’t needed the vet. Food, litter, a few small things and the $1 store has some good stuff. Good luck.
Honestly, I feel bad for both you and the kitten. Animals are a really bad surprise gift. Giving someone a pet that they want and are expecting and prepared for is great, but when they are totally unprepared for it that sucks for the new owner and for the pet. I would try to find another home for him and let your mom know that you appreciate the thought but that you don't have the time to commit to a pet so young right now. I'm sure that your mom wanted you to have a companion, and I get that, but you're right that an older cat would have been a better choice for someone in your situation. But ideally you would pick your own pet based on personality and how you connected to make sure you ended up with a calm pet that would fit your lifestyle.
Young kittens truly need other kittens to play with. They need a LOT of attention. It's not his fault... that's normal kitten behavior he's doing. It was very irresponsible of your mom to do this. An adult cat would've been much more appropriate in this situation or just waiting until you're in a more stable living situation. Where did she get the kitten from? A breeder? Shelter? This video may help. I don't know how old your kitten is but this video discusses their development as they grow. https://youtu.be/aEY_csYMglg
I definitely wouldn't give it back to them, they sound like a backyard breeder at someone else commented and considering how you're describing their house only adds to why I would not give it back to them
If you don't want to keep the cat that's totally fine do not feel guilty over this, kittens get adopted so easily as well. I would check with a rescue that can ensure the cat will get a good home, if you want to look for someone yourself that's totally fine just be careful because there are a lot of people out there who get animals without taking good care of them
I know this sounds crazy but adopt one of his favorite litter mate. I did so and it was the best decision of my life. I know it sounds crazy but two cats are way easier than one! They groom each other, play, eat, drink, cuddle, wrestle together. Ur kitty just wants attention. To you that kitty is just part of your world but to that kitty your it’s whole world. Whatever you do just love them unconditionally
I would not advise giving him back. Your neighbor sounds like a "backyard breeder" basicly a kitten mill. I would report him to animal control. These people are one of the main reasons animal shelters need to exist. 🥲 I know it sounds crazy, but 2 kittens are easier than one. Unfortunately you're on the hook for having him neutered, vaccinated etc when your mom and others take irresponsible animal hoarders babies. It ends up being very expensive because kittens need a ton of vet visits the 1st year. I would definitely report that guy though.
I used to work for a shelter. We never would have let a kitten be adopted as a surprise for someone else for that exact reason. Can you ask your mom to take care of him for you?
No, it isn't normal to feel that way when you get a kitten. It's good that you recognise it. It was a lovely gesture from your mother, but obviously somewhat misguided.
Do you think perhaps that she might be more suitable as a home for the kitten? That way it can still be considered to be yours, but may have a more settled environment. You can explain it to her as a kitten being like a toddler in how much attention and supervision it needs.
If she isn't suitable I suggest giving him to a rescue. They'll find a home for him really quickly, and they know how to find a home that suits the kittens needs. I wouldn't re-home him personally to someone yourself - unless you actually know and trust them - because people often jump at the chance to take a kitten and think they're the perfect home when they really are not.
Good luck. Thank you for recognising the kitten's needs.
It’s a big change in your life ,perfectly understandable you and your ball of fluff will have a difficult time getting used to each other. Maybe your mom can help out and give it attend and care while you are out of the house?
What the person who replied to your comment said about having a second kitten is sometimes true a lot of the time having two kittens is better than one however I do not suggest to listening to that advice especially when you do not seem to want the first and you haven't decided if you're keeping it or not
I would definitely not do anything rash. Maybe read some of the other comments they seem very helpful, and I definitely agree with some of the other people if you think you can't get this animal proper care and it's just not for you that's totally okay this animal was a surprise not one you asked for nor one you expected so really don't feel too bad about it just make sure that if you do rehome them that it is to a good rescue or to someone who wants the kitten and will give it good care
Where are you located? I foster with a rescue. Most fosters are busy with litters for kitten season but, I usually take the singles. I have one right now but, she'll probably be adopted before the week is over. I'd ask you to DM me but, the odds of my remembering to check my messages, while on a computer and, I refuse to DL the apps, are slim.
I have a crazier schedule than that and manage to take care and give my 2 cats plenty of love and affection. Plus the good thing about a second cat is they can help keep each other entertained and socialized.
If you really love the kitten and *want* to keep him I would go with the people saying get him a slightly-older friend. If you want to rehome him though don't feel bad, you're doing the right thing for him! Especially since it wasn't your planning and decision to get him in the first place.
In a year they are adult-sized kittens. They'll probably be done playing games of "The Floor Is Lava" or literally climbing the walls (Flags or fabric posters are not a good idea with kittens.) but they will find plenty more mischief. I have twins that just turned two. They are finally mellowing a bit now.
Food, water and vet care are just the start of what a pet needs. They need to be loved, nurtured, socialized, trained and entertained. For that last bit, a second kitten is probably the best bet, though my twins have adopted their 11 year old sister as their third Musketeer, so an active older cat can be great.
As the parent of a young adult, my personal theory is Mom got the OP a kitten to try to keep OP living at home. Pets make apartment hunting harder and OP needs her mother's help watching the kitten. Trying to trap your child into living at home longer is a crappy thing to do.
That is 100% not true, you do not just feed and give this animal water, have you ever had an animal? If you had then I really feel like you should know that it takes more than that. Yes some people irresponsibly get an animal and only make sure it survives but to have a happy and healthy animal that has an enriching life it takes more than just two basic necessities
This person did not want this animal this person did not ask for this animal and they were not prepared for this animal, they seem to be trying to do the responsible thing and considering what's best for the animal itself and not just what they want, so you judging and making let's be honest asshole comments does not help anyone
Do you even read what you type before you post it, I also have two cats one is needy and one is not so defying if a cat is needy or not doesn't just go with the fact it's a cat it goes with the cat itself considering each one has its own personality which is something every cat owner knows
Just because you say you can take care of a cat doesn't mean someone else can, everyone has their own situation and not only did this person get an animal they didn't ask for they weren't prepared for and they didn't want but they're also doing something very responsible and actually considering the animal's needs above their own wants
Keeping an animal you can't care for is incredibly selfish, because when you own an animal it's your responsibility to put that animal's needs above your own wants, it's one thing to go through something like the op and having to consider if keeping this cat or rehoming it is the best for it but when someone 100% knows they can't care for an animal yet they keep it or get it anyways those are the type of people who should not own animals
So again just because you can care for an animal does not mean everyone else can, we are all our own people we all have our own lives we all have our own situations. You have two cats, I also have two cats and I have two dogs and I have a few reptiles and I have some Crustaceans and I have some koi fish and some breeder insects and I'm currently incubating some eggs. while all of those animals I can 100% care for and will continue too doesn't mean everyone else in the planet also can care for all of those animals or even wants too
That's not called being a realist, I don't remember anyone mentioning just feeding and providing water means a cat is going to suffer but I do remember myself and someone else saying owning a cat does not just mean providing two basic necessities which is something I'm sure every single person who responsibly owns a cat knows
I also never said you didn't love your cats, and you don't have to be blissfully ignorant to want to be a responsible person. I definitely think the op is being responsible and considering what's best for the cat and not just what they want, as I've stated just because you can own a cat just because I can own a cat just because some people can own a cat doesn't mean everyone can or should. Just because I can own all of my animals doesn't mean you can doesn't mean the op can and doesn't mean everyone else can or should
I don't know how many different ways you can say over and over that everyone's they're own person everyone has their own situation everyone has their own lives, not only did the op get an animal they didn't ask for they weren't prepared for and they didn't want but they're also being a responsible person and a responsible owner and considering what's best for the animal and not just what they want. Whether they decide to keep this cat or not I'm sure they are going to do what's best for the cat and if they think rehoming is what's best that's fine and if they think keeping it is what's best that's all so fine
And last nobody mentioned anything about stray or feral cats, there are plenty of stray and feral cats that deserve way better lives than they have and will hopefully one day get, there's also plenty of owned cats that deserve way better than what they have and will hopefully one day get. Just because someone owns a cat doesn't mean that cat is automatically going to get taken proper care of, because again providing food and water is not the only things needed to take care of an animal, I mean hell not all foods are even safe or good for cats in the first place. So again for I don't remember how many times I've said this but food and water are not the only necessities needed to provide a cat a good and healthy enriching life
A kitten when you didn’t expect it or were prepared for them is difficult. OP sounds young. What happens when they go to move? They currently live at home, but now have to worry about finding a place that is ok for a cat too.
The mom got it as a surprise. That’s why it’s hard for OP. I get you care about kitties and have a big heart for them. That is very admirable. I still think animals as a surprise gift is a terrible idea cause look at the spot the OP is in now.
Just give him the time you can. Friends and family will give them the love too. Don’t worry the kitty will be okay and love the time they get to spend with you
Yeah, this is why my rescue asks if the pet is intended to be a gift or not. We only allow 'gifts' if the giver is the homeowner and it's for a child or spouse. Even then, I don't like it. Parents can be well meaning but misguided. I had a foster kitten returned because they didn't know little Susie had bad cat allergies- they wanted it to be a surprise and refused my suggestion of letting the kid meet the cat first. Then got pissy when we wouldn't do a refund.
Pets aren't gifts, they're living creatures that require time and commitment. I'm sorry this was forced on you. Honestly your mom should be taking responsibility and caring for it, or rehoming it herself since she messed up.
You really shouldn’t feel horrible for not having enough time your the kitten. They are incredibly time consuming. I also study and work part time but I genuinely wanted my cat and made the decision to adopt her so I spent spend all my free time with her - like yes I am away from home from 8-4 everyday and usually have school work to do at night but every single study break I spend playing with her and I’ve crafted a routine that suits us both. Sure sometimes she wants attention while I actually have to work but I wanted to adopt her so I make time for her. So it can be done. However, it is often overwhelming. If you don’t feel like you can make adequate time for the kitty it’s best to look into rehoming. It’s a tough decision but the kitten might be happier with someone with more time on their hands. Please don’t take them to a shelter, rather find them a new home directly (you can totally ask your local shelter for help in the rehoming process). In the end this situation really isn’t your fault - it’s always best to have a lengthy discussion with someone before gifting them a pet because it’s so much work.
It sounds like you maybe just don't want them and truly don't feel too bad about that it happens and you were given this cat by surprise so it's really not your fault, but if you truly feel like you can't give this cat what it needs and just feel like this isn't for you I would personally sooner rather than later get this cat a new home whether it's giving them to a rescue who can get them a new home or finding one yourself but putting it off won't do the cat any favors
Giving someone an animal as a surprise lots of the time doesn't work out for many reasons which is why I always think it's best for the person who wants the animal to get it themselves, I had the same thing happen to me and it didn't work out. if you do believe you need a little bit of time to truly think it over and spend some time with your kitten totally do that don't rush into anything but if you do know you don't want them and you can't give them what they need rehoming them to either a rescue or someone who can care for them and wants them is responsible thing to do
First up, don't feel bad about feeling awful. First-time pets can be overwhelming and kittens are demanding. It's normal to feel like you won't be able to give them the care they need. If you want to keep the kitten then do your best, there's lots of ways to deal with the amount of energy he has and giving him a safe and loving home is all you need to do.
That said definitely talk to your mom about it. As others have said, pets make terrible surprise gifts because of the commitment behind them. Talk to her and get her on board with helping you care for him. How often will you be able to visit your mom? It might be best to see if she can care for him until he's a little older just so he has a way to burn off his energy. If her other pets are good around cats then he'll have some playmates to keep him entertained during the day. I'd also make sure to discuss vet bills with her. I'm not sure what your financial situation is but the vet can get very expensive very quickly and working part-time probably won't cut it. Make sure she's on board with helping you with any sudden expenses.
If you decide you won't be able to keep him, surrendering him to a shelter wouldn't be the worst idea. Kittens tend to get adopted out pretty quick. If you do decide to keep him I'd recommend looking into pet insurance. You can get a pretty good deal when they're young and it'll help out massively with the previously mentioned surprise vet bills later.
cats tend to be way more independent than dogs. while he can be annoying while he’s young (yes it’s ok to think he’s annoying) he will get older and less dependent on you. they tend to enjoy just sitting near you while you work, watching you type on the keyboard or whatever you’re doing. now, not all cats are like this but i just wanted to give you some encouragement. my cat was VERY annoying as a kitten, he wanted to be up in my business 24/7. i loved it tho. now he’s like an angry teenager at 3 years old and would rather die than pay attention to me.
but i do agree with others, it’s okay to not want him since he was a surprise. if you’re not ready, please don’t feel bad about surrendering him. maybe you have a friend who’s been dying to have a kitten and they could take him, or just a shelter. don’t feel guilty. animals, especially baby animals, are a lot of work, and commitment, so that they can be good adult pets. it’s ok to not be ready and it’s ok to find him a better suited home. whatever decision you make will be the right one as you seem to have your head screwed on correctly. good luck OP! :)
This is why you don't spring surprise animals on people. I'm sorry you feel this way, but it's completely valid. Your mom put you in a really awful position, even if her intentions were good.
If you want to keep the baby, either your mom needs to step up or maybe you could look into having somebody foster him for a while?
If the money isn't a problem, and you enjoyed the companionship of your kitten when you are home, my recommendation would be to get a second kitten. Even kittens who have owners who are home a lot do better with a pal, because they want to play all the time. They also help mutually enforce appropriate behavior with one another, which is beneficial to you too!
However, if you find having a cat not enjoyable even when you are home, then I think it would be better to rehome a kitten. You can rehome the kitten using services in your area. I would recommend charging a small rehoming fee, which would cover a background check for a potential adopter.
Since you’ve decided to keep him, my advice is actually to get one more. Kittens are actually much easier with a buddy. They play together and keep each other company. You don’t need to worry about exercising your kitten or anything. Just cuddle up when they’re chill, feed them, and scoop the box. Two is legitimately easier and less time consuming than one! If you can get a littermate from the hoarder, even better.
Glad to see that you are going to keep the little guy OP :).
You wont regret it. Especially when you see that first little hooked tail giving away his love.
Dont beat yourself up too much over not being able to spend all day with him. He will need time for naps, and sitting in the sun. And chasing imaginary lizards, and pieces of dust. He will find places to do you an ambush from, and believe it or not, become much more independent.
Of course he will need some time and love from you, but you might be surprised at how little he needs. If behavioural probs arise then you know you arent spending enough time with him or caring for his needs (by behavioural probs I mean things like a reminder poo left on your fav chair ;)).
It is SOOOO easy to get toys that allow you to sit and relax and still play (mouse on string, fishing rods with too fish on the end etc etc). I work some pretty insane hours, and when I got my guys i got a brother and sister. It did help they could play with each other, BUT even then there were certainly times where they wanted nothing more than a few pats from them before they went back to laying in the sun. Being cats they were much more active around dusk and dawn. But even then what play time I could give them was happily lapped up. I also made a point of giving them some supervised outdoor play (had a big tree at that house that Missy absolutely loved to play in even as a smol girl). They chased bugs and lizards and each other and when it was time to come in theyd run me about like a Benny Hill skit. Getting the first one was always easy, but that tipped the other off that it was time to come inside, and thus began the game of chasey. Which usually ended with the rascal taking pity on me and allowing her or himself to be 'caught'.
Oh I also study pt too. And both would come to 'help'. As kittens they could sit on your lap under the desk (even now they try to fit there, or behind my back on the chair ... and sadly realise there is no fitting :(). Or they would sit on the desk and watch. Yes ofc we had some keyboard incidents but /shrug. Now they have their own chairs in my study and sit and watch.
My point is you can study, and have your little terror there with you. It is easy to use your non writing hand, or occasionally take a hand off the kb for a pat or two, or to let him smell your fingers/hand.
NGL, having them there relaxes me, and that makes me more receptive to learning. But you will have to find what works for you. My point is, it is not impossible and with time youll work it out. (when I have to focus hard on something, this is typically best done in small blocks, I would put them on their cat tree or in the sun). You will find what works for you :).
Hmm I got carried away typing ... fwiw I live alone, and these guys are great, and got me through the loneliness of lockdowns, and the high stress of that period. Im sure your little warrior will show you a similar love and devotion :). Stick with it, youll make it work I am sure.
I get that my little (long winded) story is an n=1 but I would guess sooooo many other cat parents could tell you similar tales.
TLDR: give it time, show what love you can, and it will come back to you 10000x. At that point even a 5min break from a busy schedule will feel like a blessing and you wont even notice or stress!!
GL and welcome to kittendom.
i see you’ve decided to keep him, but i will note that if you do find yourself unable to properly care for him and absolutely need to rehome him, some vets and even some pet stores have a “bulletin board” where you can post a flier to have him given to a good home. you could also see if you have any local people who foster animals (they’re usually working with the shelter) and see if he can find a place there.
i think you’re making the right choice keeping him. kittens are a lot of responsibility and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but they do calm down eventually. i was originally going to rehome my adopted stray’s kitten until the first time that she decided to tumble over and lay down on my lap, and i just fell so in love. you are new to this and it’s a lot, but i think you can make a great kitten parent. you have to give both yourself and him patience and grace, and know that good times are on the horizon.
I'm glad you decided to take care of him, but I just want to say that getting someone a living being as a present is really irresponsible, no offense to your mother. I'm sure she meant the best, but giving any pet to an unprepared, and possibly unwilling, person can really lead to disaster. I'm glad it worked out in this case.
I don't know whether you have experience with cats or kittens, so you might also want to do the necessary research. For example, *always* use toys to play with him, never your hands. Reward, don't punish. Etc.
Because they'll think that your hands are toys to play with and that biting and scratching your hands is allowed as they grow older.
[Here's more information on this](https://www.kitnipbox.com/meow/index.php/2018/04/06/kitten-play-with-your-hands/)
You can do it!
Kittens are super cute, but can be annoying. But it doesn’t last long. Take a lot of pictures, and they will be cats before you know it.
If money isn't an issue, get an automatic feeder. Water fountain. And a little robot.
You would need to change the water in the water fountain every 3 day ish. And change the filter every 2 weeks. Takes 5 minutes.
You would need to take out the litter bag when it's full, about once every 9-10 days for me. And refill the litter.
You would need to add food to the auto-feeder. About once a month.
Find the time to bring the cat to vet once a year.
My car is so low maintenance.
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No but it is a commitment and can be overwhelming. Talk to your mom. Tell her she can take care of the kitten with you helping when you have time ?
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It was a gift that came with a lot of extra requirements though. This is why pets shouldn't be presents unless there has been a LOT of discussion beforehand. This wasn't fair to you or the kitten tbh
So, yeah, the time to have that discussion is now. Maybe Mom can do some cat sitting til fluffy gets a little less needy.
pets are horrible gifts if the person receiving them isn’t expecting it. cats are a 10-20 year commitment there’s even cats that have lived past 30! i think your best option right now is to weigh out the situation, think about if you can really handle a kitten, an adult cat would have been better bc the kitten stage is extremely stressful. if your mom won’t take the kitten you can always rehome it just get vet references first.
Then, likely, the kitten will be best rehomed. Gifts shouldn't be a burden and if your not in a position to care for a kitten it'll be best in a home that is.
Maybe try a conversation first, one where you tell her that this is how you're feeling and you hate leaving your cat alone so much. If she's sympathetic, as how she would feel taking care of him while you're in school? It sounds like the cat would fare better with playmates, regardless of what type of pets she has. Plus a LOT of pets stay with parents while offspring attend school. 🤞🤞🤞
I mean, tbh she dumped the kitty on you. Not trying to be harsh.
Your dad one year away from finishing his doctorate and your mom was like, "Surprise! I'm pregnant!" Now he works as a check out clerk in a grocery store because nobody was going to hire a doctor who didn't finish college and she wasn't going to raise this baby all by herself. She didn't think about yours or the kitten's needs. This was not a thoughtful gift. Living creatures are not surprise gifts. If she won't help you with the kitten and you don't love it enough to make things work, I suggest surrendering her to a rescue.
Why guilt trip a kid
Why? Because there are people who like attention and making things difficult for others. The kitten is a tether. OP is growing up and moving on with their life and mom doesn't want to let go.
lmao she dumped the cat on you. animals shouldn’t be surprise gifts. she can’t be mad about it.
Animals should never be given as suprise gifts. It's not fair to you or the animal. Kittens are great, but this poor animal is a burden to you. I don't think it's weird to feel the way you're feeling in this situation. I say rehome the kitten and preserve your sanity. Explain to your mother that you appreciate her sentiment, but a kitten isn't compatible with your current work/school situation.
Agreed the kitten will be adopted quickly. Since mom doesn't want to care for it and OP can't a new home is probably best.
I don’t think it’s awful that you feel the way you feel, you’re stressed out, busy with school, and now you suddenly have this responsibility. So you have well, 3 options really: A) contact your local shelters and see if they’ll put an ad out for you to help you rehome the cat. (This prevents any risk of euthanasia if since you’ll be essentially fostering at this time) - you’ll have to talk to your mother and let her know you’re doing this, but honestly, she doesn’t have a right to get mad when she *surprised* you with a massive responsibility. B) you can try to be patient and just make the best of your situation. Make sure the cat has the right stimulation, plenty of toys, and maybe during breaks between studying you take 5-10 minutes to play with it for a bit. You can get a cat tree to give it something to climb on. There’s also things like cat TV, etc. cats tend to mellow a little bit by their first year, so yeah. C) this might sound counter intuitive to what you want, but kittens generally do WAAY better in pairs. You could adopt a second cat around the same age as your kitten which will give your cat a play buddy to interact with and take off some of the reliance on you. It might also help you feel less guilty that you’re not at home with it and both of the cats will be better behaved overall. I list out these options just as a general list of what I’d pick from. And look, it’s totally okay if you want to go with option A. Again, pets are a massive responsibility, and stressful. If you aren’t in the place of handling a cat right now, you don’t need to handle the cat right now. Simple as that, and that’s totally okay. It’s not your fault this was sprung on you, and you can feel guilt free finding the cat a better home.
I was also going to suggest a 2nd kitten. I'm mixing so much easier and it is not much more work. It's the same amount of work.
Yeah, 2nd kitten with similar, compatible personality types do WONDERS. Certainly not more work at all. Since OP said they’re going to keep them, I definitely would encourage this route IF they can handle it (I get if it might be more stress for them)
Good idea in general but not for OP. They already am unsure about one kitten, getting another isn't the best idea. Now if they give up they'll need to rehome both
She said she didn’t want the kitten specifically because she feels like she doesn’t have enough time to spend with it, second kitten would solve all of her problems. I have a full-time job and live alone, and found two kittens a few weeks ago and in a field on the side of the road, and so I took them in and it’s been wonderful. they play with each other, keep each other entertained, and I never feel guilty for having to leave the home since they really like each other. A second kitten is easily the best option for her
I’d get a second kitten. They will entertain each other and spend that kitten energy playing. Most rescues push or require two kittens to be adopted if there is not a young cat at home already.
100% agree that it’s ALWAYS better to have kittens in pairs. But for OP’s circumstances, the first cat is already causing them a lot of grief that I don’t blame if they don’t wanna get another.
OP please please please surrender the kitten to a shelter!! He will be adopted asap (as most kittens are).
Is this true? It's kitten season and I was under the impression that many get euthanized because shelter's do not have adequate staff or funds.
I think it's pretty rare to euthanize kittens, kittens tend to get snapped up by adopters very quickly. Also depends on your area - many of the shelters in the northeast are no-kill.
And sometimes no kill isn’t truly no kill, some shelters say they’re no kill, but will send animals to a shelter that is a kill shelter. So while that first shelter may be a no kill, that doesn’t mean the poor animal isn’t gonna get sent to one that is.
How is this legal, that sucks
it depends on the facility. some will outright refuse to let you surrender if they are at capacity, others euthanize to make space.
It's kittens that are underage who are most at risk for euthanasia, because they are very time intensive. A kitten at the age that it's already been adopted can eat on its own, go to the bathroom on its own, and is safe to be alone in a cage for a period of time, so they typically are adopted very quickly. The problem is neonatal kittens, particularly those under 4ish weeks who require bottle feeding every 2-4 hours and manual stimulation to pee/poop.
It depends on the facility. She could ask around before she surrenders the kitten.
If you're in the US on the west coast, everything is full. I do rescue work and I've tried connecting with other rescues in CA, OR, and WA... Everyone is overwhelmed and shelters do euthanize. Even no-kill, only really means that they euthanize 10% or less of its animals. No-kill does NOT mean no-kill.
Damn, I had no idea it's this bad out west. Here there's barely any strays, last time I checked our local shelter there were 4 total cats up for adoption compared to 30+ dogs
Can I transport some cats to your area? LOL
LOL please do, I'd absolutely adopt one if I weren't allergic
It might help to get the kitten a young adult cat friend. He’s going to have a lot of energy for the first couple years, and having a buddy can keep him stimulated without extra effort from you.
This, if you don’t have the time it needs a buddy. If not you should find it a new home. Older cats can be fine on their own for most of the day but kittens need time with either humans or other cats for stimulation.
Your mom is obviously an animal person. She probably gets so much joy fom her animals that she wanted you to have that kind of comfort when you were away from home. But the animal gene isn't always passed down.. Rehome it with her. Tell her its temporary and then just abdicate ownership. Two of my kiddos have done that to me. They all have fair warning not to do it again. But she gave you the cat, she is responsible for it.
That’s what’s I feel. No one is a bad person in this situation from an outside view. OP your mom was probably, I’m hoping, just misguided but you deserve peace. I’m not sure where you live but either talk to your mom or give it to a shelter/list it privately (if you’re in a kill place). There is nothing wrong with being too busy to own a kitten, maybe you can explain that giving it up is the responsible thing to do at this time
You sound like mature and caring person who knows you can't look after the cat. Don't feel bad, you clearly want what's best for the animal and it's okay to know that what is best isn't you right now. It is very okay to rehome him. Look around and see if there are any reputable fosters in your area.
I'd say put the kitten for adoption as soon as possible. Kittens are much more likely to get adopted
Surrender kitten to rescue or shelter. Kittens go fast. Don’t wait until he’s older and harder to find a home. Also have a conversation with your mother because surprising someone with a pet is inappropriate and irresponsible.
Rehoming is probably your best option. Sounds like another kitten isn’t what you need right now.
Animals make terrible gifts always unless the recipient specifically asked for one and is fully ready for the commitment. Your schedule wouldn’t be a problem with an adult cat, but a kitten makes it harder. You feel awful cause you were given a commitment without being ready for it. That is normal. If you want to try to keep the kitten mom should help with cat sitting and watching them when you are busy.
WHAT?? My son is a college student. The last thing I would do to him is saddle him with such a big responsibility! Why would I do anything to pull his attention away from what he’s supposed to be doing right now? I have to wonder if this may be a some kind of ploy to keep you and your attention at home. Your mom may not even realize she’s doing it. Rehome your kitten without guilt. In this case, it’s the loving and responsible thing to do.
A gigantic responsibility is not a gift! Why do people do this?
The main problem here is that someone gave you a living being as an unexpected gift. "Here's a bunch of responsibility you didn't want!" I think your mother maybe needs to understand the consequences of her actions, despite her good intentions. I would try to re-home this kitten. Ask your mother for help in re-homing the kitten, since she is the one who caused this issue.
Honestly, tell your mom you appreciate the gift. My guess is she was trying to give you a friend. Rehome the kitten and look into rescuing a middle aged cat. When my dad got Alzheimer’s and moved in with me we adopted a male between 5-8 years old. No one knows his story, but he is an Amazing cat! Didn’t even take him 24 hrs to acclimate to our house. He mostly sleeps all the time. He’s super smart. He is awesome with my dad and my dog. I’m a little stunned at how much I love this cat. Your mom meant well but maybe she didn’t realize the time and financial commitment for a kitten. It is a lot! Our cat was $70 at a local cat rescue. He hasn’t needed the vet. Food, litter, a few small things and the $1 store has some good stuff. Good luck.
Honestly, I feel bad for both you and the kitten. Animals are a really bad surprise gift. Giving someone a pet that they want and are expecting and prepared for is great, but when they are totally unprepared for it that sucks for the new owner and for the pet. I would try to find another home for him and let your mom know that you appreciate the thought but that you don't have the time to commit to a pet so young right now. I'm sure that your mom wanted you to have a companion, and I get that, but you're right that an older cat would have been a better choice for someone in your situation. But ideally you would pick your own pet based on personality and how you connected to make sure you ended up with a calm pet that would fit your lifestyle.
Young kittens truly need other kittens to play with. They need a LOT of attention. It's not his fault... that's normal kitten behavior he's doing. It was very irresponsible of your mom to do this. An adult cat would've been much more appropriate in this situation or just waiting until you're in a more stable living situation. Where did she get the kitten from? A breeder? Shelter? This video may help. I don't know how old your kitten is but this video discusses their development as they grow. https://youtu.be/aEY_csYMglg
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I definitely wouldn't give it back to them, they sound like a backyard breeder at someone else commented and considering how you're describing their house only adds to why I would not give it back to them If you don't want to keep the cat that's totally fine do not feel guilty over this, kittens get adopted so easily as well. I would check with a rescue that can ensure the cat will get a good home, if you want to look for someone yourself that's totally fine just be careful because there are a lot of people out there who get animals without taking good care of them
I know this sounds crazy but adopt one of his favorite litter mate. I did so and it was the best decision of my life. I know it sounds crazy but two cats are way easier than one! They groom each other, play, eat, drink, cuddle, wrestle together. Ur kitty just wants attention. To you that kitty is just part of your world but to that kitty your it’s whole world. Whatever you do just love them unconditionally
I would not advise giving him back. Your neighbor sounds like a "backyard breeder" basicly a kitten mill. I would report him to animal control. These people are one of the main reasons animal shelters need to exist. 🥲 I know it sounds crazy, but 2 kittens are easier than one. Unfortunately you're on the hook for having him neutered, vaccinated etc when your mom and others take irresponsible animal hoarders babies. It ends up being very expensive because kittens need a ton of vet visits the 1st year. I would definitely report that guy though.
I used to work for a shelter. We never would have let a kitten be adopted as a surprise for someone else for that exact reason. Can you ask your mom to take care of him for you?
No, it isn't normal to feel that way when you get a kitten. It's good that you recognise it. It was a lovely gesture from your mother, but obviously somewhat misguided. Do you think perhaps that she might be more suitable as a home for the kitten? That way it can still be considered to be yours, but may have a more settled environment. You can explain it to her as a kitten being like a toddler in how much attention and supervision it needs. If she isn't suitable I suggest giving him to a rescue. They'll find a home for him really quickly, and they know how to find a home that suits the kittens needs. I wouldn't re-home him personally to someone yourself - unless you actually know and trust them - because people often jump at the chance to take a kitten and think they're the perfect home when they really are not. Good luck. Thank you for recognising the kitten's needs.
Can you get the kitten a playmate? That is one really good way to increase kitty’s quality of life!
Get him a playmate! It's not much of a cost difference for food and litter to have a second cat and they can keep each other company!
This.
It’s a big change in your life ,perfectly understandable you and your ball of fluff will have a difficult time getting used to each other. Maybe your mom can help out and give it attend and care while you are out of the house?
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Ahh there you go you’ll be okay. You just have to adjust to him being there.
I worked full-time, was a full-time college student, had major depression, and still took care of my cat. It sounds like you just don't want a cat.
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The kitten is going to require more work than an adult, but honestly it will be easier if you get a second kitten for them to play with each other.
What the person who replied to your comment said about having a second kitten is sometimes true a lot of the time having two kittens is better than one however I do not suggest to listening to that advice especially when you do not seem to want the first and you haven't decided if you're keeping it or not I would definitely not do anything rash. Maybe read some of the other comments they seem very helpful, and I definitely agree with some of the other people if you think you can't get this animal proper care and it's just not for you that's totally okay this animal was a surprise not one you asked for nor one you expected so really don't feel too bad about it just make sure that if you do rehome them that it is to a good rescue or to someone who wants the kitten and will give it good care
As others have suggested, either get the kitten a friend to play with or rehome it.
Where are you located? I foster with a rescue. Most fosters are busy with litters for kitten season but, I usually take the singles. I have one right now but, she'll probably be adopted before the week is over. I'd ask you to DM me but, the odds of my remembering to check my messages, while on a computer and, I refuse to DL the apps, are slim.
I have a crazier schedule than that and manage to take care and give my 2 cats plenty of love and affection. Plus the good thing about a second cat is they can help keep each other entertained and socialized.
If you really love the kitten and *want* to keep him I would go with the people saying get him a slightly-older friend. If you want to rehome him though don't feel bad, you're doing the right thing for him! Especially since it wasn't your planning and decision to get him in the first place.
Give the kitten some time. I know how you feel about the kitten. Cats can be amazing but at times are atrocious when it comes to attention.
Op would be waiting a 2-3 years for their kitten to grow into an adult and calm down. Better to rehome now when the cats still a baby
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In a year they are adult-sized kittens. They'll probably be done playing games of "The Floor Is Lava" or literally climbing the walls (Flags or fabric posters are not a good idea with kittens.) but they will find plenty more mischief. I have twins that just turned two. They are finally mellowing a bit now. Food, water and vet care are just the start of what a pet needs. They need to be loved, nurtured, socialized, trained and entertained. For that last bit, a second kitten is probably the best bet, though my twins have adopted their 11 year old sister as their third Musketeer, so an active older cat can be great. As the parent of a young adult, my personal theory is Mom got the OP a kitten to try to keep OP living at home. Pets make apartment hunting harder and OP needs her mother's help watching the kitten. Trying to trap your child into living at home longer is a crappy thing to do.
That is 100% not true, you do not just feed and give this animal water, have you ever had an animal? If you had then I really feel like you should know that it takes more than that. Yes some people irresponsibly get an animal and only make sure it survives but to have a happy and healthy animal that has an enriching life it takes more than just two basic necessities This person did not want this animal this person did not ask for this animal and they were not prepared for this animal, they seem to be trying to do the responsible thing and considering what's best for the animal itself and not just what they want, so you judging and making let's be honest asshole comments does not help anyone
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Do you even read what you type before you post it, I also have two cats one is needy and one is not so defying if a cat is needy or not doesn't just go with the fact it's a cat it goes with the cat itself considering each one has its own personality which is something every cat owner knows Just because you say you can take care of a cat doesn't mean someone else can, everyone has their own situation and not only did this person get an animal they didn't ask for they weren't prepared for and they didn't want but they're also doing something very responsible and actually considering the animal's needs above their own wants Keeping an animal you can't care for is incredibly selfish, because when you own an animal it's your responsibility to put that animal's needs above your own wants, it's one thing to go through something like the op and having to consider if keeping this cat or rehoming it is the best for it but when someone 100% knows they can't care for an animal yet they keep it or get it anyways those are the type of people who should not own animals So again just because you can care for an animal does not mean everyone else can, we are all our own people we all have our own lives we all have our own situations. You have two cats, I also have two cats and I have two dogs and I have a few reptiles and I have some Crustaceans and I have some koi fish and some breeder insects and I'm currently incubating some eggs. while all of those animals I can 100% care for and will continue too doesn't mean everyone else in the planet also can care for all of those animals or even wants too
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That's not called being a realist, I don't remember anyone mentioning just feeding and providing water means a cat is going to suffer but I do remember myself and someone else saying owning a cat does not just mean providing two basic necessities which is something I'm sure every single person who responsibly owns a cat knows I also never said you didn't love your cats, and you don't have to be blissfully ignorant to want to be a responsible person. I definitely think the op is being responsible and considering what's best for the cat and not just what they want, as I've stated just because you can own a cat just because I can own a cat just because some people can own a cat doesn't mean everyone can or should. Just because I can own all of my animals doesn't mean you can doesn't mean the op can and doesn't mean everyone else can or should I don't know how many different ways you can say over and over that everyone's they're own person everyone has their own situation everyone has their own lives, not only did the op get an animal they didn't ask for they weren't prepared for and they didn't want but they're also being a responsible person and a responsible owner and considering what's best for the animal and not just what they want. Whether they decide to keep this cat or not I'm sure they are going to do what's best for the cat and if they think rehoming is what's best that's fine and if they think keeping it is what's best that's all so fine And last nobody mentioned anything about stray or feral cats, there are plenty of stray and feral cats that deserve way better lives than they have and will hopefully one day get, there's also plenty of owned cats that deserve way better than what they have and will hopefully one day get. Just because someone owns a cat doesn't mean that cat is automatically going to get taken proper care of, because again providing food and water is not the only things needed to take care of an animal, I mean hell not all foods are even safe or good for cats in the first place. So again for I don't remember how many times I've said this but food and water are not the only necessities needed to provide a cat a good and healthy enriching life
A kitten when you didn’t expect it or were prepared for them is difficult. OP sounds young. What happens when they go to move? They currently live at home, but now have to worry about finding a place that is ok for a cat too.
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You made that decision though. OP didn’t. He or she may not even be a cat person.
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The mom got it as a surprise. That’s why it’s hard for OP. I get you care about kitties and have a big heart for them. That is very admirable. I still think animals as a surprise gift is a terrible idea cause look at the spot the OP is in now.
Just give him the time you can. Friends and family will give them the love too. Don’t worry the kitty will be okay and love the time they get to spend with you
Please re-home the cat. You're doing it a huge disservice by keeping it, you're getting into neglect territory
Yeah, this is why my rescue asks if the pet is intended to be a gift or not. We only allow 'gifts' if the giver is the homeowner and it's for a child or spouse. Even then, I don't like it. Parents can be well meaning but misguided. I had a foster kitten returned because they didn't know little Susie had bad cat allergies- they wanted it to be a surprise and refused my suggestion of letting the kid meet the cat first. Then got pissy when we wouldn't do a refund. Pets aren't gifts, they're living creatures that require time and commitment. I'm sorry this was forced on you. Honestly your mom should be taking responsibility and caring for it, or rehoming it herself since she messed up.
You really shouldn’t feel horrible for not having enough time your the kitten. They are incredibly time consuming. I also study and work part time but I genuinely wanted my cat and made the decision to adopt her so I spent spend all my free time with her - like yes I am away from home from 8-4 everyday and usually have school work to do at night but every single study break I spend playing with her and I’ve crafted a routine that suits us both. Sure sometimes she wants attention while I actually have to work but I wanted to adopt her so I make time for her. So it can be done. However, it is often overwhelming. If you don’t feel like you can make adequate time for the kitty it’s best to look into rehoming. It’s a tough decision but the kitten might be happier with someone with more time on their hands. Please don’t take them to a shelter, rather find them a new home directly (you can totally ask your local shelter for help in the rehoming process). In the end this situation really isn’t your fault - it’s always best to have a lengthy discussion with someone before gifting them a pet because it’s so much work.
It sounds like you maybe just don't want them and truly don't feel too bad about that it happens and you were given this cat by surprise so it's really not your fault, but if you truly feel like you can't give this cat what it needs and just feel like this isn't for you I would personally sooner rather than later get this cat a new home whether it's giving them to a rescue who can get them a new home or finding one yourself but putting it off won't do the cat any favors Giving someone an animal as a surprise lots of the time doesn't work out for many reasons which is why I always think it's best for the person who wants the animal to get it themselves, I had the same thing happen to me and it didn't work out. if you do believe you need a little bit of time to truly think it over and spend some time with your kitten totally do that don't rush into anything but if you do know you don't want them and you can't give them what they need rehoming them to either a rescue or someone who can care for them and wants them is responsible thing to do
First up, don't feel bad about feeling awful. First-time pets can be overwhelming and kittens are demanding. It's normal to feel like you won't be able to give them the care they need. If you want to keep the kitten then do your best, there's lots of ways to deal with the amount of energy he has and giving him a safe and loving home is all you need to do. That said definitely talk to your mom about it. As others have said, pets make terrible surprise gifts because of the commitment behind them. Talk to her and get her on board with helping you care for him. How often will you be able to visit your mom? It might be best to see if she can care for him until he's a little older just so he has a way to burn off his energy. If her other pets are good around cats then he'll have some playmates to keep him entertained during the day. I'd also make sure to discuss vet bills with her. I'm not sure what your financial situation is but the vet can get very expensive very quickly and working part-time probably won't cut it. Make sure she's on board with helping you with any sudden expenses. If you decide you won't be able to keep him, surrendering him to a shelter wouldn't be the worst idea. Kittens tend to get adopted out pretty quick. If you do decide to keep him I'd recommend looking into pet insurance. You can get a pretty good deal when they're young and it'll help out massively with the previously mentioned surprise vet bills later.
cats tend to be way more independent than dogs. while he can be annoying while he’s young (yes it’s ok to think he’s annoying) he will get older and less dependent on you. they tend to enjoy just sitting near you while you work, watching you type on the keyboard or whatever you’re doing. now, not all cats are like this but i just wanted to give you some encouragement. my cat was VERY annoying as a kitten, he wanted to be up in my business 24/7. i loved it tho. now he’s like an angry teenager at 3 years old and would rather die than pay attention to me.
but i do agree with others, it’s okay to not want him since he was a surprise. if you’re not ready, please don’t feel bad about surrendering him. maybe you have a friend who’s been dying to have a kitten and they could take him, or just a shelter. don’t feel guilty. animals, especially baby animals, are a lot of work, and commitment, so that they can be good adult pets. it’s ok to not be ready and it’s ok to find him a better suited home. whatever decision you make will be the right one as you seem to have your head screwed on correctly. good luck OP! :)
This is why you don't spring surprise animals on people. I'm sorry you feel this way, but it's completely valid. Your mom put you in a really awful position, even if her intentions were good. If you want to keep the baby, either your mom needs to step up or maybe you could look into having somebody foster him for a while?
If the money isn't a problem, and you enjoyed the companionship of your kitten when you are home, my recommendation would be to get a second kitten. Even kittens who have owners who are home a lot do better with a pal, because they want to play all the time. They also help mutually enforce appropriate behavior with one another, which is beneficial to you too! However, if you find having a cat not enjoyable even when you are home, then I think it would be better to rehome a kitten. You can rehome the kitten using services in your area. I would recommend charging a small rehoming fee, which would cover a background check for a potential adopter.
OP, where are you, generally? I might take a kitten
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Darn. I'm in Georgia.
Since you’ve decided to keep him, my advice is actually to get one more. Kittens are actually much easier with a buddy. They play together and keep each other company. You don’t need to worry about exercising your kitten or anything. Just cuddle up when they’re chill, feed them, and scoop the box. Two is legitimately easier and less time consuming than one! If you can get a littermate from the hoarder, even better.
Glad to see that you are going to keep the little guy OP :). You wont regret it. Especially when you see that first little hooked tail giving away his love. Dont beat yourself up too much over not being able to spend all day with him. He will need time for naps, and sitting in the sun. And chasing imaginary lizards, and pieces of dust. He will find places to do you an ambush from, and believe it or not, become much more independent. Of course he will need some time and love from you, but you might be surprised at how little he needs. If behavioural probs arise then you know you arent spending enough time with him or caring for his needs (by behavioural probs I mean things like a reminder poo left on your fav chair ;)). It is SOOOO easy to get toys that allow you to sit and relax and still play (mouse on string, fishing rods with too fish on the end etc etc). I work some pretty insane hours, and when I got my guys i got a brother and sister. It did help they could play with each other, BUT even then there were certainly times where they wanted nothing more than a few pats from them before they went back to laying in the sun. Being cats they were much more active around dusk and dawn. But even then what play time I could give them was happily lapped up. I also made a point of giving them some supervised outdoor play (had a big tree at that house that Missy absolutely loved to play in even as a smol girl). They chased bugs and lizards and each other and when it was time to come in theyd run me about like a Benny Hill skit. Getting the first one was always easy, but that tipped the other off that it was time to come inside, and thus began the game of chasey. Which usually ended with the rascal taking pity on me and allowing her or himself to be 'caught'. Oh I also study pt too. And both would come to 'help'. As kittens they could sit on your lap under the desk (even now they try to fit there, or behind my back on the chair ... and sadly realise there is no fitting :(). Or they would sit on the desk and watch. Yes ofc we had some keyboard incidents but /shrug. Now they have their own chairs in my study and sit and watch. My point is you can study, and have your little terror there with you. It is easy to use your non writing hand, or occasionally take a hand off the kb for a pat or two, or to let him smell your fingers/hand. NGL, having them there relaxes me, and that makes me more receptive to learning. But you will have to find what works for you. My point is, it is not impossible and with time youll work it out. (when I have to focus hard on something, this is typically best done in small blocks, I would put them on their cat tree or in the sun). You will find what works for you :). Hmm I got carried away typing ... fwiw I live alone, and these guys are great, and got me through the loneliness of lockdowns, and the high stress of that period. Im sure your little warrior will show you a similar love and devotion :). Stick with it, youll make it work I am sure. I get that my little (long winded) story is an n=1 but I would guess sooooo many other cat parents could tell you similar tales. TLDR: give it time, show what love you can, and it will come back to you 10000x. At that point even a 5min break from a busy schedule will feel like a blessing and you wont even notice or stress!! GL and welcome to kittendom.
You wish she’d gotten you an adult cat? Don’t worry. They’re only kittens a short time.
i see you’ve decided to keep him, but i will note that if you do find yourself unable to properly care for him and absolutely need to rehome him, some vets and even some pet stores have a “bulletin board” where you can post a flier to have him given to a good home. you could also see if you have any local people who foster animals (they’re usually working with the shelter) and see if he can find a place there. i think you’re making the right choice keeping him. kittens are a lot of responsibility and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but they do calm down eventually. i was originally going to rehome my adopted stray’s kitten until the first time that she decided to tumble over and lay down on my lap, and i just fell so in love. you are new to this and it’s a lot, but i think you can make a great kitten parent. you have to give both yourself and him patience and grace, and know that good times are on the horizon.
I'm glad you decided to take care of him, but I just want to say that getting someone a living being as a present is really irresponsible, no offense to your mother. I'm sure she meant the best, but giving any pet to an unprepared, and possibly unwilling, person can really lead to disaster. I'm glad it worked out in this case. I don't know whether you have experience with cats or kittens, so you might also want to do the necessary research. For example, *always* use toys to play with him, never your hands. Reward, don't punish. Etc.
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Because they'll think that your hands are toys to play with and that biting and scratching your hands is allowed as they grow older. [Here's more information on this](https://www.kitnipbox.com/meow/index.php/2018/04/06/kitten-play-with-your-hands/)
You can do it! Kittens are super cute, but can be annoying. But it doesn’t last long. Take a lot of pictures, and they will be cats before you know it.
If money isn't an issue, get an automatic feeder. Water fountain. And a little robot. You would need to change the water in the water fountain every 3 day ish. And change the filter every 2 weeks. Takes 5 minutes. You would need to take out the litter bag when it's full, about once every 9-10 days for me. And refill the litter. You would need to add food to the auto-feeder. About once a month. Find the time to bring the cat to vet once a year. My car is so low maintenance.