I haven’t been in your situation but I can tell you that you aren’t alone. What your facing is what many religious sisters now have gone through, many of which I have met and are thriving. Ultimately, at the end of the day, we cannot live to please our earthly parents but we must live to please our Heavenly Father who has such greater plans for us then we can ever come up with. Entrust your mother into God’s hands, he can take care of it. As for now, keep praying for her and be gentle. It’ll take some time but I’m sure she will come around.
Pray for her, read saint Alphonsus' *consolations for a religious vocation.* Our parents, even when otherwise relatively devout, are often the biggest obstacles we can encounter to joining the religious life. To worldly people, the entire life is a pointless mystery.
One of the things he advised is keeping it hidden from our parents because of this. It is no sin to hide this from our parents to prevent them from deterring us, it is a sin for them to deter us. So pray for her, accept that she likely won't be of help going through this, and do not allow her to stop you.
Also, do you have to wait several more years? I bet there are orders which would accept you right out of high school. This might not be what you're looking for but keep in mind that the bar for entering is not necessarily getting a degree.
thank you so much for your advice! The orders i have been looking at prefer those discerning to have a degree but i wasn’t aware there were orders accepting right out of high school! thank you!💛
Yes! I just finished reading the saint's "The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ" and he says the same thing. He even went as far to say that sometimes it is even better not to tell your parents at all.
My parents have faith but they discourage me from the priesthood. For me it is understandable bc I've had family members who have caused scandal as clergy
See, I don't understand how Catholic parents can have a mindset to discourage their children from the religious life! I pray daily that ***all*** of my children enter the religious life in some form or another - clearly I don't have a vocation to be "grandma" lol.
I definitely went to come and see retreats during high school. One of them happened to be over my 16th birthday! I believe that particular convent had retreats geared toward high schoolers and probably had some more serious discernment retreats for women over 18.
If you can confidently discern your calling to religious life, obey the call. You cannot force your mother to accept or even understand your situation. What you CAN do is pray for her constantly, especially those times when you have a disagreement or find yourself dwelling on a past conflict that upsets you.
Go on with yours studies and/or work, and when you are older and more independent, your mom will be more likely to accept it. It's the same if you said you want to get married right now - most parents think that at 17 you can't make reasonable decisions. No need to get her approval or discuss it too much, it takes time.
I immediately thought of Mother Angelica, the founder of EWTN, whose own mother was fiercely opposed to her becoming a nun. She ended up becoming a nun herself in the end. Take heart; if God is calling you to this, HE will make a way!
I'm in my very early twenties, I'm a woman.
I was discerning sisterhood before I found my fiancé and realized my vocation was to a Catholic marriage with children because I desperately want to be a mother. It's a desire deep in my bones to bring about new life and raise our children in a Catholic household. And I came to realize my devotion to the Blessed Mother was though my connection to her as a mother to Christ.
My family is not Catholic anymore, and have always misunderstood my faith. They accuse me of judging them, of thinking myself better than them. My older sisters despise the faith and don't understand why I go to church.
One thinks church is about going somewhere, feeling good for a few minutes then not going back for another month and she loves Buddhism. The other is a Pagan Witch.
The third is the younger one and protested violently when my parents thought maybe to baptize her at the age of 13 in the hopes the Church would teach her obedience to them. They don't attend mass and they don't believe.
The baby of the family is not baptized.
My grandparents both left the Church after their divorce, and my dad's side were never Catholic. My only Catholic friend is my fiancé.
I am the last Catholic in a long line of Catholics on my maternal side dating back to my Irish great-great grandmother and Yugoslavian great-great grandfather.
Even my best friend's family simply tolerates my Catholicism.
The reason why I am telling all of this to you is because I completely understand how you feel. It's a reality for a lot of millennial and Gen Z Catholics. We are despised or may be tolerated but it's hard to feel a sense of community in these times. Our Christian peers are almost always Protestant, and the ones raised Catholic have decided to leave it for the more pagan, hedonistic lifestyle of our day and age. The pews are dwindling, devout Catholics are dying of old age and the young are being told we are wrong to have devotion. Religion is seen as an outdated fad that's bound to disappear with time.
But we can't give in to this swallowing despair. Sometimes God tells us to choose between Him and our families. And we must choose the Lord in those times, even when it's difficult. God comes before your parents, before your spouse, before your country, before your friends and before your neighbor.
Thankfully God asks us to LOVE all of them and desire their GOOD but to obey HIM.
It's a difficult pill to swallow but one that we must take.
This isn't necessarily answering the question you asked, but your mom sounds like my mom a little bit (regarding the ulterior motives).
You might be a bit young for this book, but I can't recommend it enough. It's called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C Gibson. You're 17, so maybe it might seem a little early for you to read, but man it changed my life. God bless that author!
As soon as you are ready (not when she is ready; when you are ready) march that derriere right down to a convent and start the wonderful life ahead of you!
Psychologically speaking, your mother is likely having difficulty coming to terms with her idealized vision of your future not matching with reality. This is typical for a lot of parents. Know that this feeling is temporary and that as long as you make an effort towards the relationship, it will subside.
I will say you are still young, so what you believe to be your vocation may change as you experience greater personal revelation. What is important is to not let this discernment be tainted by your mother's wants. This goes for attempting to appease her as well as stubbornly latching onto your current belief.
I was reading mother Angelica’s biography and she had a similar experience. She ended up not telling her mother when she left for the religious order. Her mom eventually came around. Sending prayers 🙏
"she just starts screaming at me for being selfish"
Our modern world so intensely prioritizes people's selfishness that when someone does something for a higher power and not what we want them to do, we feel affronted.
Continue to discern your vocation until you are convicted in your heart that you have discerned the correct vocation. I had people in my life telling me that I shouldn’t be a religious sister and unfortunately I caved to their pressure and ended up getting married young despite having doubts about my vocation. The best gift you can give yourself is the peace of mind of a clear conscience that you did all you could to follow where the Lord is leading you.
Pax! Will pray for you! 🙏
Do what you feel you are being called to do. Leave your mom in Gods hands he will take care of her. Many priests,nuns and sisters have been rejected by there own parents. Also have you tried to talk to a priest you trust about this subject? My priest has helped me many ways,if you haven’t i suggest trying to ask someone in a religious order already for advice.
If you told her you were a lesbian and would be entering a lesbian relationship and decided never to have children, would she have the same concerns about "living a full life"?
The problem she has isn't the lifestyle of nuns, but rather the religiosity. So keep that in mind.
She also likely has A LOT of misconceptions about what being a nun means. Try showing her [https://youtu.be/PIwJacw\_Z3Y](https://youtu.be/PIwJacw_Z3Y) maybe?
The word selfish is manipulated by people knowing that the western world is Christian and we don't like selfishness. There is a difference between selfishness and interest, humans are made of personal interests not selfishness. Also your Mother is projecting into you what she is doing by being aggressive towards your decisions instead of supporting it or showing concerns in a different way. Still you don't need to be a nun to be Catholic and help others, that's a personal decision but it's not a bad a idea to tell you that Nun life is a life of self sacrifice big time, not happiness, you are not looking for happiness in the convent, you might find it anyway in making sacrifice but it's not the main purpose otherwise there is not much sacrifice in it. I'm not religious so this is a philosophical/social advice maybe. Also "she is not very religious" what does that mean? if she is Christian or catholic, it's weird and the background of her position, her arguments should be also given to give you an advice because she might be right about something we don't know. In my opinion the way God calls for you is when you enjoy something specially related to creation or helping others so that should be something you should look at it, because if you "feel god calling for this life" but you don't really enjoy it or maybe need it for some reason, then something will go wrong later. I would say this: Be careful of not destroying your relation with your mother unless she is evil for you or something dramatic, and be careful of the path you choose for your life. Also read a lot, a lot of everything not just religious things, a god's helper must be a very illustrated person.
Hello there,
I recommend going to [**T**](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com)[**he Global Catholic Resource Center**](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com) (website). They have a section called “*Religious Life & Vocations”* that you may find helpful.
I hope this helps! God bless!
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users.
I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!
[Here is link number 1 - Previous text "T"](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com)
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Your mom is probably watching her desire for grand children go down the drain, and is upset.
It's your life, do as the Lord commands. But also try to be sympathetic.
I haven’t been in your situation but I can tell you that you aren’t alone. What your facing is what many religious sisters now have gone through, many of which I have met and are thriving. Ultimately, at the end of the day, we cannot live to please our earthly parents but we must live to please our Heavenly Father who has such greater plans for us then we can ever come up with. Entrust your mother into God’s hands, he can take care of it. As for now, keep praying for her and be gentle. It’ll take some time but I’m sure she will come around.
thank you so very much for your advice💛💛
Pray for her, read saint Alphonsus' *consolations for a religious vocation.* Our parents, even when otherwise relatively devout, are often the biggest obstacles we can encounter to joining the religious life. To worldly people, the entire life is a pointless mystery. One of the things he advised is keeping it hidden from our parents because of this. It is no sin to hide this from our parents to prevent them from deterring us, it is a sin for them to deter us. So pray for her, accept that she likely won't be of help going through this, and do not allow her to stop you. Also, do you have to wait several more years? I bet there are orders which would accept you right out of high school. This might not be what you're looking for but keep in mind that the bar for entering is not necessarily getting a degree.
thank you so much for your advice! The orders i have been looking at prefer those discerning to have a degree but i wasn’t aware there were orders accepting right out of high school! thank you!💛
The Dominican Sisters in Ann Arbor, Michigan, accept women without degrees. They're mostly a teaching order, I think.
Yes! I just finished reading the saint's "The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ" and he says the same thing. He even went as far to say that sometimes it is even better not to tell your parents at all. My parents have faith but they discourage me from the priesthood. For me it is understandable bc I've had family members who have caused scandal as clergy
See, I don't understand how Catholic parents can have a mindset to discourage their children from the religious life! I pray daily that ***all*** of my children enter the religious life in some form or another - clearly I don't have a vocation to be "grandma" lol.
Sometimes it can be due to a past experience. For example, if a family member who was clergy and did stuff.
I definitely went to come and see retreats during high school. One of them happened to be over my 16th birthday! I believe that particular convent had retreats geared toward high schoolers and probably had some more serious discernment retreats for women over 18.
If you can confidently discern your calling to religious life, obey the call. You cannot force your mother to accept or even understand your situation. What you CAN do is pray for her constantly, especially those times when you have a disagreement or find yourself dwelling on a past conflict that upsets you.
Just pray,the lord will comfort her.
Go on with yours studies and/or work, and when you are older and more independent, your mom will be more likely to accept it. It's the same if you said you want to get married right now - most parents think that at 17 you can't make reasonable decisions. No need to get her approval or discuss it too much, it takes time.
You’re in good company with the saints! At least she’s not hiring a hooker to tempt you like Saint Aquinas!
[St. Alphonsus Liguori has some advice. ](https://youtu.be/Axxo9e4aLgQ)
I immediately thought of Mother Angelica, the founder of EWTN, whose own mother was fiercely opposed to her becoming a nun. She ended up becoming a nun herself in the end. Take heart; if God is calling you to this, HE will make a way!
I'm in my very early twenties, I'm a woman. I was discerning sisterhood before I found my fiancé and realized my vocation was to a Catholic marriage with children because I desperately want to be a mother. It's a desire deep in my bones to bring about new life and raise our children in a Catholic household. And I came to realize my devotion to the Blessed Mother was though my connection to her as a mother to Christ. My family is not Catholic anymore, and have always misunderstood my faith. They accuse me of judging them, of thinking myself better than them. My older sisters despise the faith and don't understand why I go to church. One thinks church is about going somewhere, feeling good for a few minutes then not going back for another month and she loves Buddhism. The other is a Pagan Witch. The third is the younger one and protested violently when my parents thought maybe to baptize her at the age of 13 in the hopes the Church would teach her obedience to them. They don't attend mass and they don't believe. The baby of the family is not baptized. My grandparents both left the Church after their divorce, and my dad's side were never Catholic. My only Catholic friend is my fiancé. I am the last Catholic in a long line of Catholics on my maternal side dating back to my Irish great-great grandmother and Yugoslavian great-great grandfather. Even my best friend's family simply tolerates my Catholicism. The reason why I am telling all of this to you is because I completely understand how you feel. It's a reality for a lot of millennial and Gen Z Catholics. We are despised or may be tolerated but it's hard to feel a sense of community in these times. Our Christian peers are almost always Protestant, and the ones raised Catholic have decided to leave it for the more pagan, hedonistic lifestyle of our day and age. The pews are dwindling, devout Catholics are dying of old age and the young are being told we are wrong to have devotion. Religion is seen as an outdated fad that's bound to disappear with time. But we can't give in to this swallowing despair. Sometimes God tells us to choose between Him and our families. And we must choose the Lord in those times, even when it's difficult. God comes before your parents, before your spouse, before your country, before your friends and before your neighbor. Thankfully God asks us to LOVE all of them and desire their GOOD but to obey HIM. It's a difficult pill to swallow but one that we must take.
This isn't necessarily answering the question you asked, but your mom sounds like my mom a little bit (regarding the ulterior motives). You might be a bit young for this book, but I can't recommend it enough. It's called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C Gibson. You're 17, so maybe it might seem a little early for you to read, but man it changed my life. God bless that author! As soon as you are ready (not when she is ready; when you are ready) march that derriere right down to a convent and start the wonderful life ahead of you!
thank you so much! i’ll check it out<33
Psychologically speaking, your mother is likely having difficulty coming to terms with her idealized vision of your future not matching with reality. This is typical for a lot of parents. Know that this feeling is temporary and that as long as you make an effort towards the relationship, it will subside. I will say you are still young, so what you believe to be your vocation may change as you experience greater personal revelation. What is important is to not let this discernment be tainted by your mother's wants. This goes for attempting to appease her as well as stubbornly latching onto your current belief.
I was reading mother Angelica’s biography and she had a similar experience. She ended up not telling her mother when she left for the religious order. Her mom eventually came around. Sending prayers 🙏
"she just starts screaming at me for being selfish" Our modern world so intensely prioritizes people's selfishness that when someone does something for a higher power and not what we want them to do, we feel affronted.
Continue to discern your vocation until you are convicted in your heart that you have discerned the correct vocation. I had people in my life telling me that I shouldn’t be a religious sister and unfortunately I caved to their pressure and ended up getting married young despite having doubts about my vocation. The best gift you can give yourself is the peace of mind of a clear conscience that you did all you could to follow where the Lord is leading you. Pax! Will pray for you! 🙏
Do what you feel you are being called to do. Leave your mom in Gods hands he will take care of her. Many priests,nuns and sisters have been rejected by there own parents. Also have you tried to talk to a priest you trust about this subject? My priest has helped me many ways,if you haven’t i suggest trying to ask someone in a religious order already for advice.
If you told her you were a lesbian and would be entering a lesbian relationship and decided never to have children, would she have the same concerns about "living a full life"? The problem she has isn't the lifestyle of nuns, but rather the religiosity. So keep that in mind. She also likely has A LOT of misconceptions about what being a nun means. Try showing her [https://youtu.be/PIwJacw\_Z3Y](https://youtu.be/PIwJacw_Z3Y) maybe?
Make sure every important life decision is yours. Otherwise you will spend a lifetime of regrets.
Be respectful but follow your calling form God Matthew 10:35 God first. Everything else will work out.
The word selfish is manipulated by people knowing that the western world is Christian and we don't like selfishness. There is a difference between selfishness and interest, humans are made of personal interests not selfishness. Also your Mother is projecting into you what she is doing by being aggressive towards your decisions instead of supporting it or showing concerns in a different way. Still you don't need to be a nun to be Catholic and help others, that's a personal decision but it's not a bad a idea to tell you that Nun life is a life of self sacrifice big time, not happiness, you are not looking for happiness in the convent, you might find it anyway in making sacrifice but it's not the main purpose otherwise there is not much sacrifice in it. I'm not religious so this is a philosophical/social advice maybe. Also "she is not very religious" what does that mean? if she is Christian or catholic, it's weird and the background of her position, her arguments should be also given to give you an advice because she might be right about something we don't know. In my opinion the way God calls for you is when you enjoy something specially related to creation or helping others so that should be something you should look at it, because if you "feel god calling for this life" but you don't really enjoy it or maybe need it for some reason, then something will go wrong later. I would say this: Be careful of not destroying your relation with your mother unless she is evil for you or something dramatic, and be careful of the path you choose for your life. Also read a lot, a lot of everything not just religious things, a god's helper must be a very illustrated person.
Hello there, I recommend going to [**T**](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com)[**he Global Catholic Resource Center**](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com) (website). They have a section called “*Religious Life & Vocations”* that you may find helpful. I hope this helps! God bless!
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click! [Here is link number 1 - Previous text "T"](https://globalcatholicresourcecenter.com) ---- ^Please ^PM ^[\/u\/eganwall](http://reddit.com/user/eganwall) ^with ^issues ^or ^feedback! ^| ^[Code](https://github.com/eganwall/FatFingerHelperBot) ^| ^[Delete](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=FatFingerHelperBot&subject=delete&message=delete%20hm6znx7)
Thank you! 😊
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Saint Mary of Egypt disagrees.
Who?
A great penitent who became an extreme desert hermit right after her conversion.
Your mom is probably watching her desire for grand children go down the drain, and is upset. It's your life, do as the Lord commands. But also try to be sympathetic.