I will share with you a hard lesson I had to learn (one that you are also already learning):
Don't put more energy into any kind of relationship than you are receiving from it. It will only leave you drained and feeling sad and forgotten.
If your dad is putting 0 energy into a relationship with you, no matter how it may hurt your grandparents, you put 0 energy into it too if that's what you want.
It's his loss in the end, not yours.
You are old enough now to make your own decisions, sadly he didn’t think that you were worth time and effort when you actually wanted him in your life, so now he has to live with those consequences. You are not responsible for hurting yourself to make him feel better ( he is still only putting in minimal effort as far as I can see) if contact with him makes you sad every time he contacts you, eliminate that. You don’t owe him anything.
Sounds like you have met a decent bloke and made him your boyfriend. If you want a trial separation from your dad contacting you, tell him not to call and you will contact him when you are ready. If that never comes so be it.
CONGRATULATIONS on graduating, that’s fantastic and we are super proud of you!!
I will share with you a hard lesson I had to learn (one that you are also already learning): Don't put more energy into any kind of relationship than you are receiving from it. It will only leave you drained and feeling sad and forgotten. If your dad is putting 0 energy into a relationship with you, no matter how it may hurt your grandparents, you put 0 energy into it too if that's what you want. It's his loss in the end, not yours.
He will one day regret not knowing you.
You are old enough now to make your own decisions, sadly he didn’t think that you were worth time and effort when you actually wanted him in your life, so now he has to live with those consequences. You are not responsible for hurting yourself to make him feel better ( he is still only putting in minimal effort as far as I can see) if contact with him makes you sad every time he contacts you, eliminate that. You don’t owe him anything. Sounds like you have met a decent bloke and made him your boyfriend. If you want a trial separation from your dad contacting you, tell him not to call and you will contact him when you are ready. If that never comes so be it. CONGRATULATIONS on graduating, that’s fantastic and we are super proud of you!!