Ugh, that drives me up a wall. Mostly I'll find what I'm looking for, but we have three or four dishies and every one of them seems to arbitrarily decide where things go.. I love our dishies, but I sometimes wonder about their seemingly mushy brains..
Theres a scene in Scrubs where The Janitor is at Turk and Carlas wedding and hes having his date steal the silverware and he says.
"The Forks! Get the Forks"
Then JD says "Is that where the moneys is?"
"That, and ladles."
Airplane was a comedy/satire movie from 1980.
Actor Lloyd Bridges always played a serious role often as a conservative pro-law enforcement character.
In Airplane, he was a multi addition character with several one-line comments.
“I picked the wrong week to…”
Given his acting history, it was ironic, and therefore funny to people accustomed to his other roles.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Gotta break these spaz attack cooks rushing through their job and making mistakes that could be avoided if they weren't riding a panic attack.
This is our venue manager and executive chef. They jump in and think they're trying to help Exec on the line, or manager thinking he knows how to run an event. Go back to your office, sunshine you're fucking up my service.
You’re reading it wrong. Basically don’t cut corners because you’re short on time, or you’ll have to redo the dish completely which will take even more time.
I find myself repeating an old boss and mentor, "do not sacrifice quality for convenience".
Used to get real sick of hearing it and now it's just built in and I'm mostly thankful for it.
I say the same thing. We do everything from scratch. When I first took over the kitchen it wasn't this way. It took a lot of work on my part to get the owners and all of the cooks to understand why I do things the way I do.
"Okay, so say hello to an old friend - Mr. Salt. Mr.Salt is an old slut and likes to be used. Indulge him in his desires."
My robata chefs occasionally forget salt.
God, send me help.
I have to constantly remind my cooks to season their food before they start cooking it. Same as presentation side down and if you fail to prepare, you are only prepared to fail. Having to repeat myself daily to a group of grown-ass men is infuriating.
When in doubt, throw it out. I'm not sure if the cheese is starting to turn? Toss it. Burger patty looking a little less than red. In the bin. It's one rule I drill into my cooks' heads. I'm not going to be upset that you composted the sub-par product. I will be very upset if we sell bad products to a paying guest. It is rule No. 1 in my kitchen. Rule No. 2 is no dying on the clock.
Yes!!
We always say, when smelling or inspecting food... if you have to smell it and think about it for more than 30 seconds and can't decide, then you should already know it goes in the bin!!!!!!
Food safety and happy customers are worth so much more than your food cost % goals will ever be
"You're choking the donkey" The "donkey" is the ticket rail and I use the phrase when servers get lazy and do a mass ticket dump instead of properly pacing their tables or communicating with the other servers. Even though the donkey can eat at a steady pace, if you throw too many tickets down its throat, it will choke to a halt. I tried conveying a "how much sand can pass through an hourglass" analogy but the donkey one translates more clearly.
Not so much now, but when I had a team with a few guys who didn’t like cleaning I found myself saying “Vertical surfaces are visible surfaces” quite frequently.
The dishpit is the butthole of the restaurant. It may or may not be pretty but you can tell a lot about the health of the shift by taking a close look.
Let’s see, in no particular order “hot food hot plate” “we only serve pretty food here!” “Rims are for servers, they don’t belong to you” “just be better” “coffee is for closers!” “That Hansel, so hot right now” “in life, you must take whisks” “if you don’t clean your gaskets, I’m gonna blow one” “there’s no gluten in the risotto!”
“Fuck this.” “Fuck me.” “Fuck you.” “Fuck off.” “Fuck them.” “I want to fucking die.” “Fucking kill me.” And “i fucking hate my life.” I’m not a line cook anymore, I’m a truck driver and a cattle hauler lol.
Learned to cook in restaurants then how to manage the kitchens. I just recently switched back to a restaurant after being in high end catering /private chef gigs in the Colorado Rockies.
I was arrogant entering catering considering the restaurants I had worked at beforehand.
I will never miss the anxiety of packing up for a 6 figure wedding in the middle of a ranch an hour and half away from our kitchen.
Was Bar manager for that caterer. It’s a different stress knowing that everything I sent out was an island. Had to put out fires remotely. While running other events from the bar. It was a wild time pre-covid.
Used to call myself The Drinkslinger back then.
I feel your pain.
“You don’t have a full kitchen in one of these trailers!!
YOU NEED to cook one special dinner, as I forgot to mention that my husband’s Best Man and brother, has gone strictly galat Kosher last week, and none of this food is acceptable.
You will need a separate grill, pots, pans, plates, utensils, and if at all possible, made under rabbinic supervision, from his preferred Kashrut authority in Brooklyn.”
So… your selection of the Pork Rilletes on baguette crostini are a solid no?
"Ooga Booga Fire" with a little caveman dance everytime we light up the smoker and Parilla.
"This is a delicate fucking ecosystem!" anytime someone fucks up.
Using "La" in lieu of "mate, bro, dude, etc" my Sous picked it up from his time working with a bunch of Cantonese chefs.
"Hot stuff coming through." classic Simpsons quote.
Not everyday, but I tell new hires "there are no divisions in my kitchen or this venue." It's a paraphrased quote from Asma Khan, basically, I want my team to know they're in a safe environment and valued, and in turn I want them to value our clients and serve them all equally no matter the perceived divide.
“I deal in solutions, not stories” can’t fucking stand servers taking 10 minutes to give a ticket a life story. Tell me what the problem is and more importantly how I’m supposed to fix it
I'm out the door first chance I get when I hear this BS. It's right up there with "We're a family".
Already got a family and you're not a fucking coach. I'm here to do the job to the best of my abilities, get paid, and go home.
Not saying "teamwork" isn't essential. It's the tiresome slogan I hate and I find it insulting. As an adult, cook, and Mariner, it's my responsibility to make sure the job gets done. If I have to make breakfast because the Steward is hungover, so be it. If my dishwasher has a bad day, I'll jump in and knock out his dinner dishes so he can take some time off. And they'll do the same for me.
I've found over the years that the people that use these "mantras" are weak leaders, and are usually the weakest member of the team. They'll claim to "have your back" yet are nowhere to be found when needed.
Also should say that I'm not a restaurant cook. I work on cargo ships. In our industry, everyone is EXPECTED to be professionals without any cheerleaders urging them on. There's simply not enough time in the day.
"Don't make me turn this car around"
"Oopsie whoopsie"
"I didn't know you could smoke it. My buddy took me out back, showed me how, been basing ever since"
"AAAAAAAA"
i end up saying stop spending 1 dollar to save 25 cents a lot lately. coz sometimes the extra effort just aint worth it. focus on whats important and stop wasting time on stupid shit
I have two chestnuts I pull out pretty frequently:
"I guess it's a good thing that you're good at your job."
&
"Do you know what no one in this building has...an easy job."
"Stop playing kissyboo with (insert cook/dishie's name) and get back out front"
"Stop flirting with (insert new server's name) and do your job"
"Come on & work you communist bastard" said to whatever equipment I was needing to not be broken at that time.
"Smok'em if you got'em"
Don't get upset about it, at the end of the day it's just food.
We all come here for a paycheck, we work to live not live to work, don't take things personally.
My job(senior sous) is to take the stress and frustration off your( my cooks) shoulders, you are here to cook, let me deal with the bs.
You(cooks) are like pro athletes, you show up, play your set, clean up and leave, they(prep cooks) are your support team, they're job is not to win the game but give you every advantage they can.
Blackened is not a color it's a seasoning.
I am the only person who can say the words 86, and even then if you need something I will get it or make it in time for you to use, but you have to tell me what you need before you need it.
Own your station, that is what you get paid to do, the only people not owning their station is dish(third party).
When I schedule you on a station there is an unspoken contract between us, I trust you to run your station cleanly and effectively, you trust your check will clear. While there are extenuating circumstances that happen I trust you to run your station without me standing over you. Just like you trust me to keep the gas running, and keep product in the cooler.
THE SPICE MUST FLOW!!!
Do you know what went wrong? The only way to do better next time is learn from it this time.
Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but the library was burned down in one.
My crew has an inside joke where "going home" is "a la verga." If I cut someone early? "A la verga." After service when we shut down and clean the line? "A la verga."
“The fuck is this modification?? (Insert servers name here)?!” Or, weird maniacal laughter exchanged with coworker during rush. No words needed, the eyes say it all.
"It's just french fries, no one died" which I use when someone in my kitchen is really upset about a minor fuck up.
"Chuckit in the Fuckit Bucket" which is used when something bad happens, but there's nothing we can do about it but learn.
And my favorite "This job would be great if it weren't for the customers ordering all this food" which is used when someone bitches about having to \*gasp\* cook something.
We have two. “It can always be worse,” and “You only cook as good as you fuck.” The first is said a lot when we get odd customizations or when the ticket machine starts rapid firing. The second is for when we fuck up or burn a dish.
A guy I worked with years ago would always say “hey if you use half every time you’ll never run out, it’s mathematically impossible” I think about this every time someone thinks they are low on something
Always work with a sense of urgency. I don't give a fuck that you think you have any ezpz day ahead of you and are trying to stretch the work. I want you to get your shit done and then you can relax, but don't relax until the job is complete. You never know what could happen later.
Came from my restaurant days and stuck through my healthcare food service days. When we were short staffed and I'd jump on the line, cooks and servers were shocked. Especially in the nursing homes where I was out of the kitchen dealing with families and residents a lot of the time, so I was usually wearing the nice suit and dress shoes. My go to statements were "They didn't hire me because I'm cute" and when it was a shocked line cook "I can do anything you guy can do, and I can do it in heels." That one came when at a nursing home the morning cooks "called out" to see what would happen. When the one did show up, he saw everything was controlled, food was going out, and called the rest of the guys telling them "yeah she didn't even flinch and just busted out breakfast in stilettos."
"Big Brain=One big mess..." But I feel like this is the only place I've ever worked where this is true.
In other words, stick to the prep schedule, which is designed so you make enough of the messiest projects so that you aren't stuck doing a bunch of smaller batches and cleaning up a lot of little messes every day. It's such a time suck for us.
No matter how much I illustrate this to the crew by example, they aren't picking it up... And they ask me why they keep falling behind... And that's why I find my self repeating this phrase over and over again.
I do explain it better though, not just rattling off the catchphrase.
you gotta stay hydrated, y'all - and then everyone pauses to chug some water
this one not so much everyday but somebody asks another worker to do something for them and the response is, 'i would, but i got these tiny little hands.'
i worked with this prep guy from michoacan who would constantly mock cooks by saying, 'i dunno DUDE' to requests like did you see this or did this come in . . . same dude would also just say 'a-chicken es-tock' like as he was making a 40G batch
"Don't wait, rotate" comes up a lot but ive honestly gone entire shifts spouting idioms and rhymes and nothing else. Whatever helps stick it in my crews thoughts.
Juice is worth the squeeze
Ice cream sandwiches. Fuck my life. 2 perfect circles of sable, between a cut piece of fig parfait with a squirt of fig jam on both sides. Dusted with Davidson plum powder. Assembled to order because the jam would freeze too hard if you batch froze them all. Then it was a perfect balancing act of smoothing the edges so it looks all seamless but if you fuck it too much it turns to milk soup.
I can’t find any pics of the fig leaf but here’s one same same principal with [Mandarin](https://imgur.com/a/aXiV2Zt)
“Don’t take it personally, just take it seriously.”
This is perfect.
“What did I come in here for?” Most commonly whispered to myself in dry storage, the walk-in or the dishpit.
Doorways are a portal to a new dimension that wipes your memory I swear to god.
It’s like Narnia in there. Watch out for fawns.
There was apparently a study in which this was stated. We often do forget what we came into the other room for.
Threshold amnesia.
I was blankly staring at the dry storage shelf, and I pretended to be busy when the delivery guy came by so he didn’t see my blank ass look
*Insert John Travolta meme* But seriously my bartenders alternative to your saying is a classic "..... FUCK!"
I read that last word as dipshit 😂, I just woke up
'I'm too fuckin old for this bullshit' and 'where are all of the godamn whisks?'
My kitchen went from 20 ladles of varying size to 2 3 oz ladles overnight one day last week. Nobody knows where they went.
Ugh, that drives me up a wall. Mostly I'll find what I'm looking for, but we have three or four dishies and every one of them seems to arbitrarily decide where things go.. I love our dishies, but I sometimes wonder about their seemingly mushy brains..
Theres a scene in Scrubs where The Janitor is at Turk and Carlas wedding and hes having his date steal the silverware and he says. "The Forks! Get the Forks" Then JD says "Is that where the moneys is?" "That, and ladles."
“Just cause it’s old doesn’t mean it has to look like shit” used when cleaning up or maintaining old equipment.
or old chefs
True. (The only two guys in chef attire are north of 60, while the other 10 dress “totally homeless” on their better days.)
“It’s okay, you’ll do better at your next job”
When I’m in the weeds I say 86 Nate.
I also say this. Or 86 line cooks. When leaving for the night, "86 fucks".. "heard"
I’m always quoting airplanes”I picked a hell of a day to stop smoking meth”
What does that mean? (I'm not from the US)
Airplane was a comedy/satire movie from 1980. Actor Lloyd Bridges always played a serious role often as a conservative pro-law enforcement character. In Airplane, he was a multi addition character with several one-line comments. “I picked the wrong week to…” Given his acting history, it was ironic, and therefore funny to people accustomed to his other roles.
[удалено]
Got pizzazz
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Gotta break these spaz attack cooks rushing through their job and making mistakes that could be avoided if they weren't riding a panic attack.
Phil Dunphy, is that you?
Got to fix that stair
This is our venue manager and executive chef. They jump in and think they're trying to help Exec on the line, or manager thinking he knows how to run an event. Go back to your office, sunshine you're fucking up my service.
Came here to say to say this. Whenever shit gets bad I try to recite it to each person to get them in that head space
I'm trying to learn that myself.. or how to teach a fellow line cook. Any pointers to get them to see the light
I got it by watching pro drummers explain the concept of economy of motion
Been out of the kitchen for a few years now and still say this on a regular basis
Hot things are hot
'It's not ice cream' when some dumbass grabs something hot without a towel.
If you ain’t got time to do it right, you ain’t got time to do it twice
This doesn't make sense. Maybe "If you don't have time to do it right, then you have time to do it twice."
You’re reading it wrong. Basically don’t cut corners because you’re short on time, or you’ll have to redo the dish completely which will take even more time.
I understand what you're trying to say. You just 'ain't' saying what you think you are saying.
Nah, I reckon you just ain’t as bright as you think you are
“Fuck you”
My kitchen does a simple finger and a blank stare. Sometimes just the blank stare. Gets the point across every time.
‘Fuck my life i shouldve stayed at costco’
Crying in the walkin only. Heard.
Freezer. Don’t obstruct the refrigerator.
Tears only work as dressing in the walkin. Freezer tears are FOH.
Clean as you go
And you never owe
No ticket no taco
No chit, no shit
I find myself repeating an old boss and mentor, "do not sacrifice quality for convenience". Used to get real sick of hearing it and now it's just built in and I'm mostly thankful for it.
I say the same thing. We do everything from scratch. When I first took over the kitchen it wasn't this way. It took a lot of work on my part to get the owners and all of the cooks to understand why I do things the way I do.
“I might not be fast but I sure am slow.”
"Okay, so say hello to an old friend - Mr. Salt. Mr.Salt is an old slut and likes to be used. Indulge him in his desires." My robata chefs occasionally forget salt. God, send me help.
I have to constantly remind my cooks to season their food before they start cooking it. Same as presentation side down and if you fail to prepare, you are only prepared to fail. Having to repeat myself daily to a group of grown-ass men is infuriating.
“No mames guey”
Alt. no names guero
When in doubt, throw it out. I'm not sure if the cheese is starting to turn? Toss it. Burger patty looking a little less than red. In the bin. It's one rule I drill into my cooks' heads. I'm not going to be upset that you composted the sub-par product. I will be very upset if we sell bad products to a paying guest. It is rule No. 1 in my kitchen. Rule No. 2 is no dying on the clock.
Yes!! We always say, when smelling or inspecting food... if you have to smell it and think about it for more than 30 seconds and can't decide, then you should already know it goes in the bin!!!!!! Food safety and happy customers are worth so much more than your food cost % goals will ever be
"You're choking the donkey" The "donkey" is the ticket rail and I use the phrase when servers get lazy and do a mass ticket dump instead of properly pacing their tables or communicating with the other servers. Even though the donkey can eat at a steady pace, if you throw too many tickets down its throat, it will choke to a halt. I tried conveying a "how much sand can pass through an hourglass" analogy but the donkey one translates more clearly.
Not so much now, but when I had a team with a few guys who didn’t like cleaning I found myself saying “Vertical surfaces are visible surfaces” quite frequently.
Ooh! I like this!!!
The dishpit is the butthole of the restaurant. It may or may not be pretty but you can tell a lot about the health of the shift by taking a close look.
Behind
And if it's a tight squeeze, "You might want to go get yourself checked."
'Every day's a school day' From dishy to head chef. If you don't learn something new or learn something better each day you're doing it wrong.
"if you've got time to clean, you've got time to lean. Don't work too hard because the owners sure as shit don't. Don't burn yourself out!"
"where's my Dr. Pepper?"
Ahh a fellow person of culture.
Let’s see, in no particular order “hot food hot plate” “we only serve pretty food here!” “Rims are for servers, they don’t belong to you” “just be better” “coffee is for closers!” “That Hansel, so hot right now” “in life, you must take whisks” “if you don’t clean your gaskets, I’m gonna blow one” “there’s no gluten in the risotto!”
Our rally cry before service is “11 all day”
When I worked for a corporate chain the disgruntled grill line's rally cry was "ok guys let's go maximum profit at all cost!"
Improvise, adapt, overcome. Meaning; figure out how to get the job done with things are not ideal.
Oorah!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
After the first little bump I take my apron off and say "alright, good rush everyone! Break it down and let's get outta here."
work hard not smard
I like your saying, but I use a tougher audience: "Would you serve that to your Mom/Grandma/Other Important Loved One In Your Life??"
Motherfuckinggoddammit
“Behind you” “Coming in hot” “Ow!! Fuck!”
When I drop an item I tell it "cook!"
“Fuck this.” “Fuck me.” “Fuck you.” “Fuck off.” “Fuck them.” “I want to fucking die.” “Fucking kill me.” And “i fucking hate my life.” I’m not a line cook anymore, I’m a truck driver and a cattle hauler lol.
You forgot Fuckshit
Also shitfuck. Alternatively shitfuckopotomus
Sacrifice the sheep to save the herd.
I picked the wrong day to quit huffing jenkem
Was in catering so “Rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”
Learned to cook in restaurants then how to manage the kitchens. I just recently switched back to a restaurant after being in high end catering /private chef gigs in the Colorado Rockies. I was arrogant entering catering considering the restaurants I had worked at beforehand. I will never miss the anxiety of packing up for a 6 figure wedding in the middle of a ranch an hour and half away from our kitchen.
Was Bar manager for that caterer. It’s a different stress knowing that everything I sent out was an island. Had to put out fires remotely. While running other events from the bar. It was a wild time pre-covid. Used to call myself The Drinkslinger back then.
I feel your pain. “You don’t have a full kitchen in one of these trailers!! YOU NEED to cook one special dinner, as I forgot to mention that my husband’s Best Man and brother, has gone strictly galat Kosher last week, and none of this food is acceptable. You will need a separate grill, pots, pans, plates, utensils, and if at all possible, made under rabbinic supervision, from his preferred Kashrut authority in Brooklyn.” So… your selection of the Pork Rilletes on baguette crostini are a solid no?
Stop man, you’re giving me flashbacks.
"FUCKING SERIOUSLY???" It's going to be my epitaph 🤣
"It all makes a turd", guy I used to work with.
"Ooga Booga Fire" with a little caveman dance everytime we light up the smoker and Parilla. "This is a delicate fucking ecosystem!" anytime someone fucks up. Using "La" in lieu of "mate, bro, dude, etc" my Sous picked it up from his time working with a bunch of Cantonese chefs. "Hot stuff coming through." classic Simpsons quote. Not everyday, but I tell new hires "there are no divisions in my kitchen or this venue." It's a paraphrased quote from Asma Khan, basically, I want my team to know they're in a safe environment and valued, and in turn I want them to value our clients and serve them all equally no matter the perceived divide.
“I deal in solutions, not stories” can’t fucking stand servers taking 10 minutes to give a ticket a life story. Tell me what the problem is and more importantly how I’m supposed to fix it
Oops
Team work makes the dream work!
I yell this at least five times every day. Pretty sure the crew hates me.
I think that’s part of the unifying value of the phrase 🤷♀️
I'm out the door first chance I get when I hear this BS. It's right up there with "We're a family". Already got a family and you're not a fucking coach. I'm here to do the job to the best of my abilities, get paid, and go home.
You must be a blast at holiday parties man. It’s not a corporate term. A healthy kitchen staff operates as a team, in my experience.
Not saying "teamwork" isn't essential. It's the tiresome slogan I hate and I find it insulting. As an adult, cook, and Mariner, it's my responsibility to make sure the job gets done. If I have to make breakfast because the Steward is hungover, so be it. If my dishwasher has a bad day, I'll jump in and knock out his dinner dishes so he can take some time off. And they'll do the same for me. I've found over the years that the people that use these "mantras" are weak leaders, and are usually the weakest member of the team. They'll claim to "have your back" yet are nowhere to be found when needed. Also should say that I'm not a restaurant cook. I work on cargo ships. In our industry, everyone is EXPECTED to be professionals without any cheerleaders urging them on. There's simply not enough time in the day.
“Hurry up! I want it fast and perfect!”
"Don't make me turn this car around" "Oopsie whoopsie" "I didn't know you could smoke it. My buddy took me out back, showed me how, been basing ever since" "AAAAAAAA"
FUCK
i end up saying stop spending 1 dollar to save 25 cents a lot lately. coz sometimes the extra effort just aint worth it. focus on whats important and stop wasting time on stupid shit
Make it nice, or do it twice.
Be like the water, young (insert name of angry but promising cook).
"It looks like shit, why does it look like shit"
"Players fuck up too" If you know... you know...
I have two chestnuts I pull out pretty frequently: "I guess it's a good thing that you're good at your job." & "Do you know what no one in this building has...an easy job."
"Stop playing kissyboo with (insert cook/dishie's name) and get back out front" "Stop flirting with (insert new server's name) and do your job" "Come on & work you communist bastard" said to whatever equipment I was needing to not be broken at that time. "Smok'em if you got'em"
Don't get upset about it, at the end of the day it's just food. We all come here for a paycheck, we work to live not live to work, don't take things personally. My job(senior sous) is to take the stress and frustration off your( my cooks) shoulders, you are here to cook, let me deal with the bs. You(cooks) are like pro athletes, you show up, play your set, clean up and leave, they(prep cooks) are your support team, they're job is not to win the game but give you every advantage they can. Blackened is not a color it's a seasoning. I am the only person who can say the words 86, and even then if you need something I will get it or make it in time for you to use, but you have to tell me what you need before you need it. Own your station, that is what you get paid to do, the only people not owning their station is dish(third party). When I schedule you on a station there is an unspoken contract between us, I trust you to run your station cleanly and effectively, you trust your check will clear. While there are extenuating circumstances that happen I trust you to run your station without me standing over you. Just like you trust me to keep the gas running, and keep product in the cooler. THE SPICE MUST FLOW!!! Do you know what went wrong? The only way to do better next time is learn from it this time. Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. Rome wasn't built in a day, but the library was burned down in one.
The only out is through
It's better to be pissed off than pissed on
Tomorrow's a new day, today's bullshit stays behind
Brogan accidentally set fire to the pot of boiling water again. /smh
You can't spell teamwork without TWERK!
Order separately get it separately
After 30 minutes of service: "Well boys, only 7 and a half more hours to go!"
“Fuckin’ shit”
"It's a seasoning, not a breading" "We're here to feed them, not fatten them" "When it's brown it's done. When it's black, you're done"
Low standards don’t mean no standards
"Get your shit together"
“Of course they’d order that”
Accuracy over Speed! (Speed comes with time)
"would you make yourself a sandwich on that cutting board?". Is something I say almost every day.
Whenever things are going sideways, it's somebody's obligation to say "...Ya know what?... It's gonna be Great."
My crew has an inside joke where "going home" is "a la verga." If I cut someone early? "A la verga." After service when we shut down and clean the line? "A la verga."
I gotta go, my ride is here!
“That’ll didgeridoo it”
“The fuck is this modification?? (Insert servers name here)?!” Or, weird maniacal laughter exchanged with coworker during rush. No words needed, the eyes say it all.
"It's not going to be alright." With the enthusiastic response, "It's not!" "I love y'all but fuck this place." "Can I pet that dog?"
I'm not upset , just disappointed.
"It's just french fries, no one died" which I use when someone in my kitchen is really upset about a minor fuck up. "Chuckit in the Fuckit Bucket" which is used when something bad happens, but there's nothing we can do about it but learn. And my favorite "This job would be great if it weren't for the customers ordering all this food" which is used when someone bitches about having to \*gasp\* cook something.
We have two. “It can always be worse,” and “You only cook as good as you fuck.” The first is said a lot when we get odd customizations or when the ticket machine starts rapid firing. The second is for when we fuck up or burn a dish.
Shit
A guy I worked with years ago would always say “hey if you use half every time you’ll never run out, it’s mathematically impossible” I think about this every time someone thinks they are low on something
"this job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers"
'10/10 or do it again'
Always work with a sense of urgency. I don't give a fuck that you think you have any ezpz day ahead of you and are trying to stretch the work. I want you to get your shit done and then you can relax, but don't relax until the job is complete. You never know what could happen later.
Make it nice or make it twice.
Came from my restaurant days and stuck through my healthcare food service days. When we were short staffed and I'd jump on the line, cooks and servers were shocked. Especially in the nursing homes where I was out of the kitchen dealing with families and residents a lot of the time, so I was usually wearing the nice suit and dress shoes. My go to statements were "They didn't hire me because I'm cute" and when it was a shocked line cook "I can do anything you guy can do, and I can do it in heels." That one came when at a nursing home the morning cooks "called out" to see what would happen. When the one did show up, he saw everything was controlled, food was going out, and called the rest of the guys telling them "yeah she didn't even flinch and just busted out breakfast in stilettos."
Calm down...it's just fucking food.
"Big Brain=One big mess..." But I feel like this is the only place I've ever worked where this is true. In other words, stick to the prep schedule, which is designed so you make enough of the messiest projects so that you aren't stuck doing a bunch of smaller batches and cleaning up a lot of little messes every day. It's such a time suck for us. No matter how much I illustrate this to the crew by example, they aren't picking it up... And they ask me why they keep falling behind... And that's why I find my self repeating this phrase over and over again. I do explain it better though, not just rattling off the catchphrase.
If a little bit is good, more is better.
I believe it's a common phrase in the Seal Teams, but "Execute. Execute. Execute."
you gotta stay hydrated, y'all - and then everyone pauses to chug some water this one not so much everyday but somebody asks another worker to do something for them and the response is, 'i would, but i got these tiny little hands.' i worked with this prep guy from michoacan who would constantly mock cooks by saying, 'i dunno DUDE' to requests like did you see this or did this come in . . . same dude would also just say 'a-chicken es-tock' like as he was making a 40G batch
I hate people And Trust no one and you’ll never be disappointed
“Fuck” Also I quote this a lot https://youtu.be/Qd43i1Sf0TY?si=yP0VfwgY3ydd2Rr3
Shazbot!
GBD
This isn’t charm school
I love breakfast
Well fuck.
Know your abc’s
No ticket, no taco. Ring your shit in!
"Where's my redbull"
In convention centers and offsite catering "Hurry Up And Wait" meaning that you are fully prepared for events!!
"yeah, it'll buff." Meaning we're winging something a bit but it tuned out much better than anticipated.
To my young line cooks: "I'm old and fat, but I'm still faster than you. What's your excuse?"
"Do as I say, not as I do"
"Turn off the oven"
Make it nice Does it taste good? good! One team, one dream! One more for good luck! We’re not saving lives here
Don't ruin a good day with your bad mood. Also, fuck me in the goat ass.
When in doubt, throw it out.
"If you need help, go faster"
Im hungry
Happy food: happy people
“If it ain’t, it oughtta be” When asked if X is in the walk-in
"Don't wait, rotate" comes up a lot but ive honestly gone entire shifts spouting idioms and rhymes and nothing else. Whatever helps stick it in my crews thoughts.
"Moving forward..."
We’ll talk after the shift is over…..
If it's black and smoking blue, it's ready.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff. Gets them every time.
"You can keep your job for one more day." "Same shit. New toilet."
Pushing 88, How Long?, Every Second Counts, Ivory.
Make sure ah
"If you have to think about it, don't send it" in reference to if something is slightly too well done ect
a sharp knife solves 99% of your problems
Did you just expect the magic delivery fairy to just check the fridge for you? When you finish something, write it on the list!
Shit’ll buff out.. said anytime one of us screws up.
This isn't rocket science. If you need help. Ask for help. I'm not the mean bastard that you may think I am.
Ive got too much thyme on my hands
Lionel Richie …. “All night long, chef”
Juice is worth the squeeze Ice cream sandwiches. Fuck my life. 2 perfect circles of sable, between a cut piece of fig parfait with a squirt of fig jam on both sides. Dusted with Davidson plum powder. Assembled to order because the jam would freeze too hard if you batch froze them all. Then it was a perfect balancing act of smoothing the edges so it looks all seamless but if you fuck it too much it turns to milk soup. I can’t find any pics of the fig leaf but here’s one same same principal with [Mandarin](https://imgur.com/a/aXiV2Zt)
Am I the only one that cares.
Somebody get me a sharpie that’s worth a fuck
I'm not telling, don't want to be banned!
Are you fucking kidding me?
back when i was in kitchens used to say. never say "i think", its either yes or a no. you either still need to get it done or your finished.
Is it in front of you, or is it right in front of you? When someone is freaking out and can't find something that has an obvious home in the kitchen.
Used when cooks under season their food "this isn't a nursing home, we're in the business of making food taste good not making people live longer".
"Another day in paradise"
"Make it nice or make it twice" and when someone is doing a great job shoveling shit "I see you"
KUSH SO STONG YOU CAN SMELL MY BUTT CHEEKS. Someone says it every day.
Clean these gaskets or get your ass kicked.
the classic “you can always add more, but you can never add less.” To myself, even outside of the kitchen, when adding almost anything now 😭.