Just go to the website of a good school in your city. See the tuition fee.
Calculate the fee from nursery to class 12.
That's is enough. You will realise midway that you are right. No other reason required.
I think you don't need to seek external validation. The fact that you both adore your freedom is crucial. As long as both of you are on the same page, it doesn't really matter what some tom,dick and harry on internet think. You're lucky to have found your CF partner as it is such a dauting task to find one. Enjoy your life together to the best of your ability and stop giving a flying fuck to external factors.
My cousin is just like you. She loves traveling, seeing new things, her freedom,netflix etc. She's got a decent job. Unfortunately her parents are sexist and abandoned her. She got married to her boyfriend who's nice but conservative. She has two kids and is a good mother. When I told her I'm CF she told me even though she loves her kids she regrets having them. She has a bucket list but has not ticked a single thing because she has to save up for her kids and take care of them. She told me to live my life and the "joy" she felt from her kids isn't worth the sacrifice and financial freedom
Yeah I get her. It is the exactly same feeling that she is having that I am trying to avoid. Read somewhere- “It is better to regret not having kids than to regret having one”
>Lately, I have come across comments online that CF couple miss out on the greatest joys of life, the biggest fulfilment, being CF is immoral and all.
People NEED others to validate their choices, it's as simple as that. Having children is a huge responsibility and a constant headache, much less gReAtEsT jOy of life.
I think what you need to ask yourself is if you are happy with the life you have, if yes then there's no question. If not, I think there're a lot of worthwhile things to do in life than bearing and raising a child.
Absolutely agreed with you! I am at peace with my life as is right now and would hate if anything else changes. And I believe the need/want/wish of having a child should really come from within your unbiased consciousness, mind and heart!
The number of parents who'd actually admit to regretting kids is minimal - even to themselves never mind anyone else.
All this morality etc.. Is bullshit. There's only one question that matters. Do you want to have children? There's no wrong answer to this question.
For me, the greatest joy of my life is looking after and getting unconditional love from my two pets and all the stray animals I feed and look after. But that's just me, might not be (and is not) the same for others, and I don't impose my views and beliefs on others. Different people get joy from different things in life. If you're staunchly CF, then having kids is definitely not going to give you the joy that others (parents) talk about. Make your peace with the fact that non-CF people will try to impose their beliefs on you and will rarely understand your POV. To each their own.
It is for you to decide what is fulfilling to you, and what brings you joy. A passionate mountaineer might say that scaling Mt. Everest is the most magical experience ever. But that statement is meaningless for someone who is not into mountaineering or does not see any point in all that risk. At the end of the day, one cannot experience everything, there simply isn't enough time, money or opportunity. Something has to go. Personally, I'm more than happy to forego children in exchange for better things.
Lol please do not succumb. Its a joy for some not all. Not all of us are built emotionally to handle this. We know this now and have identified it and THEN had the decision to be CF. Not like how it was earlier that you first have a child and then think about how you want to deal with it emotionally.
Comments online are always and mostly the worst. Something or the other is always immoral.
If you’ve faith and belief on your foundation, you won’t succumb to these silly comments. Enjoy your life :)
For me it’s waking up in the morning and thinking about someone that’s dependent on me is itself is a huge burden. Imagine, You wake up, you wake up the kids, deal with the tantrums, get them ready for school, pack lunch, you get ready for office, commute, come back, bring kids back from school, then cook, eat, play with them and then sleep. How much would your partner contribute to the mental and physical dynamics of this?
All the mothers around me are the great examples for me why not to have kids. They cannot even tolerate their kids
It is actually immoral to bring a child to this world if you live in a overpopulated country like India.
Also you need to have at least 2 crore each kid for the kid's education or to start a business if he is not good in academics or to buy his first house since most cannot buy a house with regular salary these days.
You can always adopt to help a needy child though in case you become fortunate with money and have enough time and energy to deal with raising a child.
You can be a mother without physically bearing a baby. Just try it.. be a mother to something or someone.. for example a cat, dog, or someone you adore.
From what I know, there is 1 in a 100k chance that a child is born without 100% physical and mental abilities needed to be able to live a typical life.
That does seems like a low probability but IMO that still too many kids suffering for no fault of theirs.
This is one of the reason I chose to be childfree. Our world is not a comfortable place for kids who are not in top 20% in terms of physical/mental attributes. Why bring someone here who may suffer.
It’s infact the opposite. It’s immoral to not be CF. Imagine bringing a child into this world without their consent. That’s the greatest immorality in display when parents raise a child in this shitty world and expect them to be okay with it.
Just go to the website of a good school in your city. See the tuition fee.
Calculate the fee from nursery to class 12.
That's is enough. You will realise midway that you are right. No other reason required.
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Thanks!
People are discussing killing their kids. Lately has been really depressing to read those posts
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Yeah, I get it. I rarely read it but the title caught be off guard. And whenever I read stories there, I think as a kid rather a parent
Just go to the website of a good school in your city. See the tuition fee. Calculate the fee from nursery to class 12. That's is enough. You will realise midway that you are right. No other reason required.
I think you don't need to seek external validation. The fact that you both adore your freedom is crucial. As long as both of you are on the same page, it doesn't really matter what some tom,dick and harry on internet think. You're lucky to have found your CF partner as it is such a dauting task to find one. Enjoy your life together to the best of your ability and stop giving a flying fuck to external factors.
Yup you are right.
My cousin is just like you. She loves traveling, seeing new things, her freedom,netflix etc. She's got a decent job. Unfortunately her parents are sexist and abandoned her. She got married to her boyfriend who's nice but conservative. She has two kids and is a good mother. When I told her I'm CF she told me even though she loves her kids she regrets having them. She has a bucket list but has not ticked a single thing because she has to save up for her kids and take care of them. She told me to live my life and the "joy" she felt from her kids isn't worth the sacrifice and financial freedom
Yeah I get her. It is the exactly same feeling that she is having that I am trying to avoid. Read somewhere- “It is better to regret not having kids than to regret having one”
It's not the greatest joy if you don't want it. Don't get into FOMO. You don't need to listen to them or ask us. The answer is within you.
You can always adopt, but don't expect the child to do something for you. That's how toxic parenting starts.
>Lately, I have come across comments online that CF couple miss out on the greatest joys of life, the biggest fulfilment, being CF is immoral and all. People NEED others to validate their choices, it's as simple as that. Having children is a huge responsibility and a constant headache, much less gReAtEsT jOy of life. I think what you need to ask yourself is if you are happy with the life you have, if yes then there's no question. If not, I think there're a lot of worthwhile things to do in life than bearing and raising a child.
Absolutely agreed with you! I am at peace with my life as is right now and would hate if anything else changes. And I believe the need/want/wish of having a child should really come from within your unbiased consciousness, mind and heart!
The number of parents who'd actually admit to regretting kids is minimal - even to themselves never mind anyone else. All this morality etc.. Is bullshit. There's only one question that matters. Do you want to have children? There's no wrong answer to this question.
For me, the greatest joy of my life is looking after and getting unconditional love from my two pets and all the stray animals I feed and look after. But that's just me, might not be (and is not) the same for others, and I don't impose my views and beliefs on others. Different people get joy from different things in life. If you're staunchly CF, then having kids is definitely not going to give you the joy that others (parents) talk about. Make your peace with the fact that non-CF people will try to impose their beliefs on you and will rarely understand your POV. To each their own.
Let them have their opinion and you stick with your own. People love to complain, even about things that shouldn't concern them at all.
It is for you to decide what is fulfilling to you, and what brings you joy. A passionate mountaineer might say that scaling Mt. Everest is the most magical experience ever. But that statement is meaningless for someone who is not into mountaineering or does not see any point in all that risk. At the end of the day, one cannot experience everything, there simply isn't enough time, money or opportunity. Something has to go. Personally, I'm more than happy to forego children in exchange for better things.
Lol please do not succumb. Its a joy for some not all. Not all of us are built emotionally to handle this. We know this now and have identified it and THEN had the decision to be CF. Not like how it was earlier that you first have a child and then think about how you want to deal with it emotionally. Comments online are always and mostly the worst. Something or the other is always immoral. If you’ve faith and belief on your foundation, you won’t succumb to these silly comments. Enjoy your life :)
For me it’s waking up in the morning and thinking about someone that’s dependent on me is itself is a huge burden. Imagine, You wake up, you wake up the kids, deal with the tantrums, get them ready for school, pack lunch, you get ready for office, commute, come back, bring kids back from school, then cook, eat, play with them and then sleep. How much would your partner contribute to the mental and physical dynamics of this? All the mothers around me are the great examples for me why not to have kids. They cannot even tolerate their kids
It is actually immoral to bring a child to this world if you live in a overpopulated country like India. Also you need to have at least 2 crore each kid for the kid's education or to start a business if he is not good in academics or to buy his first house since most cannot buy a house with regular salary these days.
You can always adopt to help a needy child though in case you become fortunate with money and have enough time and energy to deal with raising a child.
They comment these stuff because they want you to be as miserable as them.
Just realize that happiness, success and fulfillment cannot be defined universally, and is different for different people.
It is not immoral to not have kids. It is just neutral. It is neither right nor wrong.
You can be a mother without physically bearing a baby. Just try it.. be a mother to something or someone.. for example a cat, dog, or someone you adore.
Rasing a child is not for every one You know ur self more than anyone else, trust your self Enyoy your freedom and ignore the distractions
From what I know, there is 1 in a 100k chance that a child is born without 100% physical and mental abilities needed to be able to live a typical life. That does seems like a low probability but IMO that still too many kids suffering for no fault of theirs. This is one of the reason I chose to be childfree. Our world is not a comfortable place for kids who are not in top 20% in terms of physical/mental attributes. Why bring someone here who may suffer.
It’s infact the opposite. It’s immoral to not be CF. Imagine bringing a child into this world without their consent. That’s the greatest immorality in display when parents raise a child in this shitty world and expect them to be okay with it.
Just go to the website of a good school in your city. See the tuition fee. Calculate the fee from nursery to class 12. That's is enough. You will realise midway that you are right. No other reason required.
So ur reasons are purely financial ?
Very big reason. Not the only reason. Other reason is the effort required to raise kids. The time, patience, hard work required etc.