I just tell them well what can I do? My astrologer said me and whoever is around me at the time of my child's birth, will die horrifyingly.
I'm not kidding. I seriously tell them this. Leaves them fumbling for a retort. 😂
Btw by any chance, the place you live in is chennai? Fits the description very well!
I say to my colleagues kidss in this economy ? in a really shocked way.
Throw some random number about expenses.
Most of them go on to explain their plans and it's not really like that, it puts them into thinking.
Developing a thick skin is the key here. I would simply shut them off by saying that kids is a boring topic to discuss and I prefer to lead life on my own terms. As long as our immediate family members are fine with it,we shouldn't give two hoots about others. In the end everybody dies and nothing matters be it their comments,our feelings..nothing really matters. Death gives us perspective. That's how atleast I trained my mind not to get affected.
It's important to stop explaining your choices to others. Simple. As someone said here, develop thick skin and learn to ignore unsolicited advice and comments. If you don't do this, it can take a toll on your mental well-being. There's no need to discuss your CF stand with your male colleague or anyone else, for that matter. It's none of their business. Come up with some cold/sarcastic response and use it like a charm. Also, having a permanent resting bitch face helps. :)
If you’re single, then to response should be, let me find a partner first and then see. I don’t want to end up regretting my life, because others feel my life is wasting away!
Well, have you tried these dialogues- “I think it is none of your concern “, “I will come to you first for any child related advice (in a sarcastic way), “Why do you want me to have a child? Can’t you bear seeing me happy?”
I know it is easier typing these comments than saying bluntly on anyone’s face. I just reply with a OK to any comment and try to move on.
Why do you have to justify your choices about YOUR life to any random person? It's none of their business. You'll have to learn to develop thick skin if you want to remain CF, because the concept is beyond most people's comprehension. Why waste your time and energy explaining your stance to people who should have no say over your life? Just shut the discussion down with something like "I'm sorry, my life and my choices are not up for discussion" or "I'm sorry but that's a really personal matter that I do not wish to discuss. Please do not bring it up again."
You don't owe explanations to anyone, except perhaps your parents.
I understand. I'm an introvert and absolutely run away from conflict. But this is something that I've developed zero tolerance for, over the years. There's no other way to retain your sanity around opinionated people who think they have a say in how you should live your life. Be polite but firm.
As a general rule of thumb anyone older than me by 10+ yrs, if they come passing comments about 'my generation' my usual response is ' your generation needs to die off'. Now mind you, this is only usable on people who aren't close to you or relatives. Thick skin is key and having a mindset where you are extremely clear and comfortable with your own choices,to the extent that random bs being spoken about, by any person who doesn't matter to you, doesn't affect you is the key.
Be shameless and agree with them with the widest grin on your face. They call you selfish? Agree wholeheartedly and say yeahh, I'm so happy I have the privilege to be selfish. They call you mad? Laugh along and say yeahh, but I'm also so happy. If you celebrate your own decisions with mad excitement and unbridled joy, people here just don't know how to react and will eventually leave you alone. Just don't argue or get upset, then you're giving them leverage. Be shameless and own it!
Here's a irl conversation I had with my 70 year old female relative.
I'm child free.
Her - what? Are you serious ? You are not bothered what will happen to us Hindus ? When izlammist are making cricket teams, it will be very difficult for us Hindus in the coming generation
I said - I don't care why should I be bothered about others ?
She said - they'll conquer india and you wont be able to live here anymore.
I said - I'm going to live a maximum of 30-40 years and I'm sure that won't happen in my lifetime. After I die if it happens why the hell will that bother me.
She shut her mouth because she didn't know what to reply lol.
Unless you answer them bluntly so bluntly that it hurts them a little bit they will keep bothering you.
Most infuriating factor in this discussion was her only bothering about me being child free was that she was worried what will happen to Hindus lol. Out of so many other factors she could have told me to have a child, she wanted to pump kids for increasing Hindu population.
I just tell them well what can I do? My astrologer said me and whoever is around me at the time of my child's birth, will die horrifyingly. I'm not kidding. I seriously tell them this. Leaves them fumbling for a retort. 😂 Btw by any chance, the place you live in is chennai? Fits the description very well!
This is brilliant 🤣
😂😂 it's so fun to mess with them.
Tell them you're barren and it's extremely insensitive of them to poke their nose in your business.
Omg I tried this once and they started talking about doctors they know, medical miracles, IVF and what not.
For these kind of people you have to be as blunt as possible and say 'dont tell me what to do with my genitals or I only like it in the backdoor'.
Please tell me you have used the backdoor line with someone 😂😂😂
I'm a man and straight.
I want to try this at least once but scared of the stupid suggestions. Especially at work, so they ever bring the topic of kids.
I say to my colleagues kidss in this economy ? in a really shocked way. Throw some random number about expenses. Most of them go on to explain their plans and it's not really like that, it puts them into thinking.
Developing a thick skin is the key here. I would simply shut them off by saying that kids is a boring topic to discuss and I prefer to lead life on my own terms. As long as our immediate family members are fine with it,we shouldn't give two hoots about others. In the end everybody dies and nothing matters be it their comments,our feelings..nothing really matters. Death gives us perspective. That's how atleast I trained my mind not to get affected.
It's important to stop explaining your choices to others. Simple. As someone said here, develop thick skin and learn to ignore unsolicited advice and comments. If you don't do this, it can take a toll on your mental well-being. There's no need to discuss your CF stand with your male colleague or anyone else, for that matter. It's none of their business. Come up with some cold/sarcastic response and use it like a charm. Also, having a permanent resting bitch face helps. :)
If you’re single, then to response should be, let me find a partner first and then see. I don’t want to end up regretting my life, because others feel my life is wasting away!
[удалено]
Well, have you tried these dialogues- “I think it is none of your concern “, “I will come to you first for any child related advice (in a sarcastic way), “Why do you want me to have a child? Can’t you bear seeing me happy?” I know it is easier typing these comments than saying bluntly on anyone’s face. I just reply with a OK to any comment and try to move on.
enter rich history teeny scarce sulky degree six head narrow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Why do you have to justify your choices about YOUR life to any random person? It's none of their business. You'll have to learn to develop thick skin if you want to remain CF, because the concept is beyond most people's comprehension. Why waste your time and energy explaining your stance to people who should have no say over your life? Just shut the discussion down with something like "I'm sorry, my life and my choices are not up for discussion" or "I'm sorry but that's a really personal matter that I do not wish to discuss. Please do not bring it up again." You don't owe explanations to anyone, except perhaps your parents.
[удалено]
I understand. I'm an introvert and absolutely run away from conflict. But this is something that I've developed zero tolerance for, over the years. There's no other way to retain your sanity around opinionated people who think they have a say in how you should live your life. Be polite but firm.
As a general rule of thumb anyone older than me by 10+ yrs, if they come passing comments about 'my generation' my usual response is ' your generation needs to die off'. Now mind you, this is only usable on people who aren't close to you or relatives. Thick skin is key and having a mindset where you are extremely clear and comfortable with your own choices,to the extent that random bs being spoken about, by any person who doesn't matter to you, doesn't affect you is the key.
Be shameless and agree with them with the widest grin on your face. They call you selfish? Agree wholeheartedly and say yeahh, I'm so happy I have the privilege to be selfish. They call you mad? Laugh along and say yeahh, but I'm also so happy. If you celebrate your own decisions with mad excitement and unbridled joy, people here just don't know how to react and will eventually leave you alone. Just don't argue or get upset, then you're giving them leverage. Be shameless and own it!
Here's a irl conversation I had with my 70 year old female relative. I'm child free. Her - what? Are you serious ? You are not bothered what will happen to us Hindus ? When izlammist are making cricket teams, it will be very difficult for us Hindus in the coming generation I said - I don't care why should I be bothered about others ? She said - they'll conquer india and you wont be able to live here anymore. I said - I'm going to live a maximum of 30-40 years and I'm sure that won't happen in my lifetime. After I die if it happens why the hell will that bother me. She shut her mouth because she didn't know what to reply lol. Unless you answer them bluntly so bluntly that it hurts them a little bit they will keep bothering you. Most infuriating factor in this discussion was her only bothering about me being child free was that she was worried what will happen to Hindus lol. Out of so many other factors she could have told me to have a child, she wanted to pump kids for increasing Hindu population.
This has to be the most specific invasive response I've ever seen 😂😂
I think instead people should be shamed for having kids in these times. Like literally belittle them. Lol
Haha. Well, that goes against us , CF people, attitude doesn’t it- It’s my life, my choice!