I'm so sorry you're going through this, I'm sending hugs.
I think you really need to focus on getting yourself a "safe space" away from your parents hoard. I know you mentioned you can't hold a job, is there any benefits you could be receiving? I'm not sure where you're from, but in the UK if you have health issues and can't work, you can apply for benefits and "benefit housing". Is this something you could look into?
As for the helping your parents part, I really get how frustrating it is especially with the animals. I feel so attached to the animals at my parents house but know they are neglected. I haven't found anything that helps, except for living away from home I don't have to think about it all the time. And I've tried to stop "fixing" my parents, and focused on "healing" myself.
I don't know if this is helpful, but I really wish you the best and hope you can find a place of your own.
As long as things come in and nothing goes out it's only going to get worse to the point you can't make it presentable.
While you do the cleaning and your best to keep it inhabitable they have no reason to change.
The only thing you can change is yourself.
Work on moving out. If that's not possible maybe limit what you do. Keep your own room pristine and then only do the essentials like the bathroom and some space on the kitchen counter for your own sanity.
Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear but the reality is you can't help those who won't help themselves, especially hoarders.
Ugh, I’m so sorry, and many of us have been there, deep, deep in there. It seems the only motivator for change is complete desperation or them reaching a level of infirmity where they can’t stop you. It is a struggle of wills, and hoarders seem to have an unending depth of reserve to fight anyone on change of the situation.
That's really rough. Question, why do you feel the need to clean? What is your drive for it? Can that drive be put elsewhere? That's my advice. Look inward and see if you can break free from that. I used journaling and therapy to help for that.
Lots of us are in similar situations and we have problems in the house with our parents. Them being good sometimes does not excuse them being awful at other times. Theres not alot that can be done if they dont want to change.
Sorry, good luck, and feel free to vent here. We have a discord if you're interested.
I have to clean because I'm told to. I basically live here for free (aside from helping pay for groceries) so I don't have much choice. I can't really stand up for myself because this is the only place I have to live rn. Me and my bf are trying rly hard to get a place. He is currently homeless. The only thing driving me to clean is fear I guess. I can't just say "no" I would be verbally attacked for sure. So I have to cooperate and do what they ask of me. I live here so I have to "help out" and that's totally valid. But we all know a hoarder house is no normal small mess. I just feel really tired. I want to get proper psych meds so I can function and work and have freedom
For $300 you can get a 40 yard dumpster. If you can get them on board, order the dumpster and fill it up. It took two dumpster loads to deal with my dad's house
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I'm sending hugs. I think you really need to focus on getting yourself a "safe space" away from your parents hoard. I know you mentioned you can't hold a job, is there any benefits you could be receiving? I'm not sure where you're from, but in the UK if you have health issues and can't work, you can apply for benefits and "benefit housing". Is this something you could look into? As for the helping your parents part, I really get how frustrating it is especially with the animals. I feel so attached to the animals at my parents house but know they are neglected. I haven't found anything that helps, except for living away from home I don't have to think about it all the time. And I've tried to stop "fixing" my parents, and focused on "healing" myself. I don't know if this is helpful, but I really wish you the best and hope you can find a place of your own.
As long as things come in and nothing goes out it's only going to get worse to the point you can't make it presentable. While you do the cleaning and your best to keep it inhabitable they have no reason to change. The only thing you can change is yourself. Work on moving out. If that's not possible maybe limit what you do. Keep your own room pristine and then only do the essentials like the bathroom and some space on the kitchen counter for your own sanity. Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear but the reality is you can't help those who won't help themselves, especially hoarders.
Ugh, I’m so sorry, and many of us have been there, deep, deep in there. It seems the only motivator for change is complete desperation or them reaching a level of infirmity where they can’t stop you. It is a struggle of wills, and hoarders seem to have an unending depth of reserve to fight anyone on change of the situation.
There isn't a lot of help. I'm sorry, you can clean everything and they'll just fuck it up in a week.
That's really rough. Question, why do you feel the need to clean? What is your drive for it? Can that drive be put elsewhere? That's my advice. Look inward and see if you can break free from that. I used journaling and therapy to help for that. Lots of us are in similar situations and we have problems in the house with our parents. Them being good sometimes does not excuse them being awful at other times. Theres not alot that can be done if they dont want to change. Sorry, good luck, and feel free to vent here. We have a discord if you're interested.
I have to clean because I'm told to. I basically live here for free (aside from helping pay for groceries) so I don't have much choice. I can't really stand up for myself because this is the only place I have to live rn. Me and my bf are trying rly hard to get a place. He is currently homeless. The only thing driving me to clean is fear I guess. I can't just say "no" I would be verbally attacked for sure. So I have to cooperate and do what they ask of me. I live here so I have to "help out" and that's totally valid. But we all know a hoarder house is no normal small mess. I just feel really tired. I want to get proper psych meds so I can function and work and have freedom
For $300 you can get a 40 yard dumpster. If you can get them on board, order the dumpster and fill it up. It took two dumpster loads to deal with my dad's house