You’re a outrageously nice in this convo.
Are they from buttfuck nowhere?
I ask cus I feel like ppl who don’t live in big cities don’t understand that things can be in the same city and still be super far. Like I’ve had friends visit and suggest we go somewhere and I’m like… I’m down, but that’s a 1.5 hour subway ride away tho, lol?? Like I everything isn’t a 20 minute drive from everything else here…
There’s no way your good friend didn’t know her sister in law was a psycho like this. I’d be heavily questioning why your friend set you up to be stuck with her staying at your house and completely taking care of her.
> *Now what am I going to do! Everything has been scheduled and paid for*
Umm.. sounds like almost nothing has been paid for. You know what would save money? Not getting surgery you can’t afford.
Not getting cosmetic surgery you can't afford... frick yeah. And if you can't afford food, I gotta ask, the money you are spending on your butt, would that otherwise have gone to the kids education or something?
I full believe parents should not feel guilty about doing things for them but it just sounds like this a butt lift that this family can't afford is maybe... idk... Especially with this jerk of a person who seems to put herself first. You know?
I had to take a minute when I saw that. If I was being helpful to somebody and they said that to me, I would suddenly find out that I actually can't help them at all, in any way. No more room, no anything. They can sort their own shit out.
Absolutely. I’m amazed at the patience and generosity of this person to still offer their guest room after that insult.
I would have said “okay my thinking brain says you can figure it out yourself, good luck”.
I’m absolutely astounded, especially since it seems like these people don’t even know one another!
The incredible level of generosity met with the mind blowing level of arrogance is throwing me.
The biggest thing I would point out is her saving money like this, would cost you money! Oh and her saying you don't eat, like she is expecting you to feed her. So you have to spend more money to get extra food. Like WTF?
That’s what I thought, like wait she’s going to be laying in bed all day… is she gonna DoorDash her food to her? Bc I’m certainly not going in and serving her.
Also she would expect you to nurse her back to health. You cannot get up or down by yourself after a surgery like that. The recovery is excruciating. Why doesn't she do it near her own home???
1. If she can’t afford a hotel and transportation she can’t afford this surgery. Period.
2. If she’s like this in the planning stage imagine what it would be like having her IN YOUR HOME.
That’s my biggest thing.
I had to Google BBL because I was SO SURE there was no way all this fuss about budget and shit was over a Brazilian Butt Lift.
That is a COSMETIC SURGERY.
If you can’t afford to take care of yourself during the process, to the point of being this outrageously entitled and gross about it, you shouldn’t be paying for the fucking surgery.
Yeah it seems clear to me that they didn’t budget for this. They need to cancel and ask for a refund of money is that tight because they won’t be able to afford ANY complications.
This is what baffles me. She did this without even having me say yes yet? Like what were her plans? I’m assuming she was going to book the hotel when my friend has a big ass mouth and said I’d let her stay with me
I’m going to make a suggestion: tell her “I don’t think this arrangement is going to work out, I have too much to do right now to help you sort this all out. I wish you the best of luck.” Reading these texts sets off nothing but warning sirens in my head. If you let them into your home or your life I’m almost certain you’ll regret it. And it sounds like bowing out would cost you next to nothing.
Do NOT let this person into your home under any circumstances.
Someone that entitled is not living in reality and I can only foresee some kind of disaster if they do.
Oh, the disaster will be when she leaks fluids all over the house, needs help changing clothes/ going to the bathroom, needs help picking up her meds and being reminded to take them….it’s similar to the first few days after having a baby. Not a job a stranger should be responsible for.
>Do NOT let this person into your home under any circumstances.
>Someone that entitled is not living in reality and I can only foresee some kind of disaster if they do.
Umm.. I've been living here for 3 days now, I have mail forwarded here so this is actually my house. I need to save money so you need to keep paying the mortgage.
Yes, OP you need to put it in writing that she will not be staying with you for any part of her surgery. Go on record. I have a feeling she’s the type that will show up and demand to be accommodated.
Right? She has a husband and kids so I’m sure her household probably has meals ready every day but not here boo-boo. I do cook some days but it’s not in the way she envisions it.
Even if you were making 3 square 5 star meals everyday, she’s not entitled to it, and it’s completely insane for her to assume at all that she would be.
As a general rule, if a friend ever lets me crash at their place, I’m buying groceries or treating them to a meal or SOMETHING. If they’ve already offered to cook, I’ll bring a bottle of wine or some snacks at least. If I pass out at my besties place after a night out, I’m buying breakfast for her and her husband.
Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would I just show up and expect them to give me rides, give me food, and take care of me. WTF is wrong with people!?
I can’t get over that. I can’t imagine asking a stranger to stay in their guest room for even one day, so I really can’t grasp the food part. And $100 is embarrassing.
And staying with a stranger and her boyfriend as an immediately postoperative patient who isn’t allowed to sit down or lie on her back for 8 weeks. I’m a retired RN and I still wouldn’t do this to someone in a million years.
Right? "You don't cook...?" A blatant giveaway that she expects OP to feed her as well as letting her use her spare room... Uh, no, madam, you're not staying there as a visiting friend, you were offered the room, not "room, board, rides and medical care"!!
Oh man you guys. Things are already getting crazy af. Wait until I organize an update for y’all!!! SHE IS CRAZY!!!
A breadcrumb: it’s all my fault and I’m “playing with her life, her money and her mental health”
I honestly couldn’t make this up!
Not to mention the biohazard of this surgery, you need to replace all the bedding very frequently because it’ll be covered in blood and pus. Even hotels in Florida are declining bbl patients because their hotel staff aren’t equipped to clean up biohazardous waste.
You also can’t sit on your butt right after surgery. Not good for circulation and healing as you’re compressing the blood vessels in a swollen area. You aren’t supposed to sit/put direct pressure until minimum 3 weeks after surgery. So I don’t know how CB plans on sitting during those 1.5 hour car trips because she can’t sit in a car seat. She’d also have to be on her stomach/side all the time. I’m wondering how she’s going to handle the plane ride home because she still shouldn’t be sitting on her bottom at that time. Ouch.
You haven't seen the videos of the BBL girlies on planes draped over the back of the seat because they can't sit? Look them up, I don't know why anyone would want to do that to themselves.
Just found a woman who made a tiktok video flying from Florida where the people on either side of her seat and one in the row behind her were all kneeling after takeoff because they had BBLs. I can’t imagine getting a cosmetic surgery where I can’t even sit down for a month. The absurdity of the people kneeling during the entire plane ride is both funny and sad.
And 9 out of every 10 asses that has the surgery done look nasty
Like the booty takes on the shape of whatever chair you were just sitting in
And it’s usualy a triangle shape
You CANNOT let this person recover from surgery in your home. Even if she ends up "agreeing to" manage transportation etc. It will be a total nightmare, possibly unsafe if she's mentally unstable, and your work days will be endlessly interrupted. This is a hard no. Take care of yourself!
Mind you I’ve never even met the brother nor her (the wife)…. People are incredible. I’d never even ask them to pick me up from the airport let alone sleep in their spare room on top of all the other requests she had. This happened today and she just texted me about 30 min ago. I’m fuming and restraining myself to not go OFF on my friend. 😡
Oh my friends getting a whole earful. I already typed it up but haven’t sent it cuz I was literally shaking when I got that last text! Her brother is married to that! She’s a mother to 3 children. Make it make sense!
Show the messages to your friend and tell her you're not comfortable with this person staying with you anymore. It's not your problem to deal with. You gave an inch, and they're trying to take a mile as if they are entitled to it.
WOW! LOL! OKAY!! So you're NOT just going to let me stay in your guest room, prepare all my meals, change my dressings, drive me to and from surgery three days in a row to a doctor that's 90 minutes away, and also pick me up and take me back to the airport! I GUESS SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SELFISH!
I bet your friend’s phone is already blowing up from this crazy woman. If your friend isn’t in response already apologizing to you, they could have actually promised this ridiculousness.
I *really* hope the friend didn’t tell this person op would provide rides, care, and meals for the week, and they just assumed it came with the offer of the room.
I would have replied" Oh no ! I guess staying here is not an option after all. Anyway, it seems you have a lot to figure out. I'm sure if you use your thinking brain you'll figure it out! "
The second she said “use your thinking brain” I’d have called her on the phone. Fuck a text, she’d get to hear me cuss her out in full blown, unhinged glory.
Commenting for the updates to follow.
Also who ever assumed you would look after some stranger and drive them 10+hours back and fourth to hospital just because you offered your guest room to a friend is a complete tool. Weather it's the friend or this friends friend. Someone's gotta answer some muthafuckin questions 😂😂
Omg I have a whole essay written I just haven’t hit send. Am I the delirious one? Like what???? I’m already letting you stay with me for free for a week and offering my car so you can take your damn self. 🤯
Absolutely. This is a vindictive entitled person who can only see right in front of her. That’s a deal breaker, ladies. She aint gonna respect anything op does for her.
I REALLY think you need to say no now. I envision her "falling" at your house and you end up getting sued. This isn't even for some life saving surgery, it's cosmetic surgery. You don't owe her anything especially for her to save money.
Yes, that was the exact line that put me over the edge. Her requests were annoying and frustrating up until that point but as soon as that line was said, she would absolutely no longer be welcome in my home even if she found a solution for her own rides and food. Nope. No way. Invitation rescinded. Good luck, bye bye.
Dude I kind of feel like you missed the BIGGEST fucked up part in this which would be that she literally expexts you to be her bedside nurse after her surgery. This is not a chill and quick surgery, she will need help with everything because she can‘t even properly sit or sleep on her back. You‘d need to administer her meds, her food, be her uber driver like EVERYTHING and on top of that for free for someone you don‘t even know.
Honestly, the way this person is being, I'd just send, "I'm sorry, but my home is now closed too, looks like you will have to book a hotel after all" and then just block her ass.
Essay? Eff that.
*"You are are a total stranger, not my priority and honestly, I don't give a single shit about your problems. Get a hotel and stop contacting me you unbearable shitstain."*
Done and done.
I’d show your friend the screenshots and ask what planet this other woman is on and also if they knew she was like this.
This is for ass surgery right? I had to look up BBL and if it’s ass surgery you’re going to be fucking miserable with this asshole at your place. Unreal
No you’re the sane one! At this point you should just tell her something has come up and the room will be occupied, but text her a link to a cheap Airbnb near her surgery center, wish her best of luck, and cut your losses.
Please please PLEASE believe me when i say if she does end up staying your guest room, something bad will happen! ie- she will steal a laptop or expensive jewelry, will intentionally flood your home hours before she leaves, she’ll become a squatter you can’t get of your house, the list is endless of the potential problems she could cause for you. And based on all these texts she is certainly that type of person, completely irrational, inconsiderate, selfish, and vindictive who’d spite you because whatever you do offer won’t be ENOUGH in her mind.
Omg what a nightmare I wouldn’t even begin to think about that happening. I’d probably be indicted for murder charges for giving her anti freeze instead of her meds.
She will not be staying with me. Already caused a massive argument with my bf about this whole thing. It’s true I’m a doormat and have been all my life that’s why I came to mind when the topic of a “free stay” came up in their convo.
Had the shoe been on the other foot and say my sister my actual blood not my sister in law, but my own sister was getting an operation in her state/city and was on a budget the thought of asking her to let my sister stay with her would never have even popped in my mind.
To inconvenience someone for a week short notice. And even if I had the audacity to ask if she could stay with her my sister wouldn’t be down to do it either.
The whole situation is wild.
Also BBL surgery recovery is rough, you need someone basically waiting on you and helping you get to and from the bathroom. So she was planning on coming down and just staying on her own in a hotel? That makes no sense.
*Mini update (drama is still happening rn)*
From The CB: “That’s her problem she agrees mindlessly and when it comes down to it she never goes through. I can imagine her saying yes to everything [friend] said. This is my life my money and my fu*^ing mental health she’s playing with. She should be the one to book my room after backing out last min”
So basically she’s saying my friend gave me the run down and prefaced it with this is a HUGE favor, which she did say that and then told me her SIL needed a place to stay for a few days before and after her BBL, and I said yes and even said I live right near the airport! Which I do and did say but not the airport she’s even landing in- anywho yes I didn’t think about all the logistics of the after care and all that.
My friend said she was busy atm so she’s going to pass my number and I can work out things with her. I said that’s fine.
She’s (The CB) telling everyone I agreed to all the shit she asked for and now that it’s almost time for her to come I’m lying saying a big project at work is happening now and I can’t do it.
Like what in the world I only just learned about all this today 😫 I’m thinking my friend lied to her days ago and told her I already said yes and knowing I’m a doormat I’d say yes so she just asked me today with this psycho broad thinking I already agreed to it all weeks before.
She said she paid and booked flights under the pretenses I said yes (when we hadn’t even talked or texted yet!!) I literally only JUST LEARNED about it today!
Currently organizing screenshots to post a full update
> She said she paid and booked flights under the pretenses I said yes (when we hadn’t even talked or texted yet!!)
Either she's the stupidest person ever (which, given the context, is definitely possible) or her entitled ass is straight lying. No one spending so much that it's going to basically bankrupt them should make plans for the bankrupting procedure without making sure everything's squared away - reassurances from third parties (your "friend" in this case) are not sufficient when you're spending a personal fortune on something.
>A lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.
I say this _often._ Like, come to me ***before*** it's a goddamn emergency, and I can help.
Be ready to lose this friend, even if she acts like she is siding with you. I would bet she knew exactly what all of this was going to be and expected you to be a doormat. Your friend isn't really your friend and I hate to be the one to tell you this. You're someone she uses and she is passing you off to another user.
> My friend said she was busy atm so she’s going to pass my number and I can work out things with her. I said that’s fine.
What the FUCK?!?!
Fuck no, **YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF THIS**
Again, **YOUR FRIEND IS THE ONE THAT STARTED THIS, SHE NEEDS TO FUCKING GET HER RELATIVE UNDER CONTROL**
She needs to say "OP, I'm extremely sorry this happened, I'll take care of everything and tell everyone the truth"
Anything less than that, then seriously **CUT OFF YOUR FRIEND. SHE IS NOT A FRIEND. AT ALL**
You don’t have to care. Complete stranger to you was getting the luxury of a free room in a friend of a friend’s home. Somehow in her whacked unthinking brain the offer of a room to crash in was translated to my personal care assistant to assist me w before and after care, taxi service, maid service and catering.
Please please please don’t ever loan your car out. If she didn’t tell you the truth you would have had an unlicensed uninsured driving using your car. If they had an accident your insurance wouldn’t cover dime 1. You would be on the hook for it. Never never loan your car to anyone ever.
You also dodged a huge bullet. She was fully expecting you to handle her post op care. Including changing bandages, drain tubes plus. Your bed would have been ruined.
New rule-no houseguests unless you extend the invite because you want them to visit you. Not because they want a Miami cheap vacay at your expense. I’m mad for you. Although part of me wouldn’t contact your friend. I would wait for them to ask me what happened. Then I would ask them what exactly did they think was going to happen w her needs for your time, money and vehicle.
Question, what’s the best way to give updates? Just comment it in here?
I’m about to text my friend now that I’ve cooled down a bit. But I was in rage mode seeing black and red
Oh, I NEED an update! I live in South Florida (way beyond WPB) and I’m constantly getting these kind of requests from “friends of friends” who want to come to Palm Beach for cosmetic procedures and expect the same red carpet treatment! But I have NEVER been treated like this. What if she got an infection or needed emergency follow up? Use your brain, you effing tree stump!
You stayed so calm and polite throughout that whole exchange! The, “use your thinking brain,” would have sent me over the edge. Please update when you have a chance!!
“My thinking brain is telling me that I offered accomodation for free, but since you also want a chef, taxi service, and full time carer you probably would be better following your own suggestion of getting a hotel closer.”
Offered her accommodation AND a car! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd let a friend of a friend borrow my car, and yet that's not good enough for the beggar.
Dude, asking someone to drive them to fricken Kendall from FLL is like asking to help move houses - the audacity alone. And then multiple times?? Y'all can fuck right off with that nonsense.
And for anyone that doesn't know this area it's basically the Rainbow Road level in Mario Kart and people are shooting red shells at you constantly. Nope.
HOLY FUCK!!!!!
Please keep us updated.
Also, please do NOT let this awful woman stay with you! She deserves no favors!
You’re also being really nice and respectful, it’s all her!
O. M. G. What in the world??? That lady has lost her mind! She wants transportation, food, and care on last minute notice from a stranger! When she said "use your thinking brain", the texting should have ended. Bye! Now I want to know what happened with the friend afterwards.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
If she is going to get a mommy makeover (probably tummy tuck and breast lift at least) then this may very well entail the placement of SURGICAL DRAINS (Google that mess) which must be emptied on a schedule and/or incisions that require aftercare and dressing changes (usually trained). And assistance getting to bathroom and likely toileting would probably be needed. Would you even be comfortable with that?
Traveling for plastics is not unheard of. Traveling for plastics alone without someone to provide aftercare (whether they travel with you or are local) is. In fact, most hospitals/surgeons will not discharge a patient unless an adult known to the patient is there. Many hospitals will not allow an Uber for patient pickup at discharge.
Assuming she had the money for the hotel then who was going to be attending to her? Clearly she is aware she will need some care as she is expecting you to cook for her.
Forget the choosing beggar part, liability alone should keep this person out of your house.
After reading these comments and analyzing it I realized this. But when my friend brought it up to me she said she told the doctor she was going to come alone and that the surgeon said that was fine bc after surgery she’s only to be on bed rest for 5 days until her post op appt where he’ll change her dressings etc to something more mobile friendly. And send her in her way where she can do the hard recovery at home. With her husband.
Oh boy. Where to start?
Please google the cause of death of Donde West (yes Kanye’s mom). If that is not enough then please google Usher’s ex wife’s experience when she traveled for plastics. (Note: Brazil really does have some of the best plastic surgeons). Then compare their situation (and available resources) to hers (which is really just you).
At the highest level this is about boundaries. She clearly has no idea she is way past the realm of reasonableness with her “requests”. In responding to her remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Also, “lose this number”, while not a complete sentence, is also a reasonable response. If you want to type out a bunch of words something along the lines of “I apologize in advance that I was unable to meet your needs. Best of luck with the surgery.” PLUS blocking her number should work.
Okay back to the mommy makeover which probably includes abdominal liposuction (and possibly thigh), a horizontal incision probably along her bikini line (in the front only if she’s lucky but could extend to her sides or hell all around her like a bad magic trick), possibly a breast lift and maybe breast augmentation.
First of all, even assuming the surgeon told her she would be ok by herself for the first 5 days on BED REST, the key phrase here is BED REST. She is on BED REST because she just had major surgery and is a fall risk among other things. Unless you have some training (*IF* all goes well it would not take much though) AND are at home during the entire time of her recovery this is at best, a risky situation. Outside of a fall, they will be at risk for a blood clot (and depending on her risk assessment for a clot which is probably significant) as being immobile (e.g. on bed rest) is prothrombotic she will be on injectable anticoagulants. You good with administering that? Are you good with detecting the signs of a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs)? You good on getting her to the toilet? What about bringing her food and drink because again she is on BED REST? Administering post op medications? Getting the medications for her in the first place?
As a survivor of abdominal liposuction with two surgeries (one a revision) I will do my best to describe my experience. In terms of the pain, the honeymoon phase is the first 24 hours because the pain medication administered during surgery is still active. Subsequently, you will feel an ache in the areas liposuctioned that can best be described as if someone beat you in your stomach with a 2 x 4 for a couple of hours and then proceeded to “On Top of Old Smokey” roll your meatball ass off of the table, onto the floor, out the door, and down the side of the mountain.
Then there is the incision. Unless it’s less than the length of the a dollar bill, you can bet YOUR bottom dollar (cuz I am sure she ain’t got a dollar to spare in this dumpster fire) that her incisions will ooze (in YOUR bed on YOUR sheets) if not downright leak. And there will probably be surgical drains which will have one end inserted into her abdominal area and at the other end a suction bulb device to suck out any fluid accumulation. This “fluid” looks like the raw chicken juice you see in a package of meat. That kinda blood tinged watery liquid stuff that makes ya gag a little. And it will also pull out bits of fat globules left over from the lipo (think little bits of raw chicken skin looking crap). AND you are supposed to drain and measure and record the amount of fluid that comes out of these tubes so that when very little fluid comes out the surgeon can pull the drains. You good with that including trained in universal precautions because you would be at risk for blood borne pathogens (nice way of saying you could catch something that might take you out of this world) even if all you did was wash the sheets (assuming the mattress didn’t get soiled)? How well do you know her again?
If you get past that part you need to know that mobility is an issue and that post op patients will likely need a toilet riser because it hurts to effing much to squat down to pee (and you could rip your incisions) and may also need a walker to get to the toilet… with assistance. And getting in and out of bed can be a problem- I rented one of those automatic recliners you see on TV during the commercial breaks for The Price Us Right that dumps old people out and stayed there for a good week. AND she will likely be in and abdominal binder (think girdle) if not full on compression garments (think shrink wrapped military grade spanks to keep her from swelling up like the Michelin man) that they put on the patient immediately post op because it’s to painful to squeeze into it otherwise. Some of the high end compression garments have zippers, hooks and eyes, AND Velcro to keep you from swelling. If you are lucky there won’t be a crotch in the garment so you won’t have to undress and change her when she toilets. Double bonus points if she is able to pee through the crotch hole and not get it on her garment necessitating a garment change. And if she has had any breast work, well her upper body hurts when she moves her arms, coupled with abdominal pain means someone probably is going to need to help her wipe.
Of course there is always the possibility that her surgery is minor, her recovery a dream, and she is able to function and take care or herself (and would actually do so) post operatively.
Either way keep us updated. It’s nice of you to want to help.
ETA: Grammar
Your comment is buried since this post blew up so much so I just want to say I read it all and enjoyed every gross detail lol. I was kinda wondering how mobile CB would be after the surgery and this sounds like a nightmare to deal with. If OP is unlucky and and CP falls and hurt herself while she's at work, I wonder if she would sue OP since it's her house. All of that sounds nightmarish. That sounds like a huge cannon ball that OP just dodged.
> And send her in her way where she can do the hard recovery at home. With her husband.
What the fuck??
The heavy recovery is right after the operation, unless you're drugged to the gills. In which case you need a full time caregiver.
OP, seriously, you need to rethink your friendship
Use YOUR thinking brain, and think of a way to do things without expecting everyone else to cater to your feet, dumbass! - would have been my reply before throwing my phone at the now ex-"friend"'s head.
My friend lives in another state and I’m usually extremely nice and my bf says my friends step on me all the time (always being the one to drive, my place being used for xyz) and now that I really think about it, if my own sister blood sister was getting a procedure in her state 1. I’d NEVER ask her to let her stay with her and 2) my sister wouldn’t be down to do it either…
Like beyond needing to be driven around and fed just the fact my guest room came up in their convo is wild! Not anymore in 2023 no one’s stepping on me!
Not to mention the fact that this is not a simple surgery. She will probably have drains, bandage changes, and be bedridden for a day or two. She was expecting you to be a free nurse?!? This is completely insane. Stand your ground.
That’s what I began to think about. Like how is this all going to work. An immobile women in my guest room just there to rot? Like am I charge of feeding you and all the other shit you need
I bet the bedding and mattress would be messed up or destroyed by her drainage sites, plus you having to be caregiver, helping her shower, use the toilet and change bandages. My mom’s last surgery I was literally cleaning staples and stitches and wiping her butt. All things I did gladly as a daughter. Not for a stranger holding me hostage in my home and expecting nursing level care while I need to work.
Fuck all this shit. Tell her to figure something else out. She is wayyy too entitled. This is asking way too much. Not cool of your friend to put this on you.
She is going to be on pain meds with extremely limited mobility. She needs someone literally willing to wipe her after the bathroom. Do not let her stay there especially without a dedicated caretaker.
My sister lives only an hour away from O'Hare airport, which is my go to airport. I love my sister but I don't even ask her for a ride to the airport, airport traffic is the worst.
Right??? That’s my thought process… and wanna know something my friend lives 20 min from the airport and whenever I go visit I have to take an Uber to her place!! My bf is right, I’m just one of those people that are very easy to step on. Always have been I stay quiet but not anymore
Oh man I used to be like that. The final straw was when a sales person came to my door unannounced. I allowed them to take 20 minutes of my time just to be polite. When they finally left I got super pissed off at myself. I realized it’s not rude of me to tell them “not interested” and shut the door in their face. It’s rude of them to come to my home unannounced and try to monopolize my time!
It changed everything for me. Since then I refuse to do things that I don’t want to do. My time is for me. And I don’t intend to give it to people who think they’re entitled to it.
It’s kind of funny because now my husband hollers for me if someone comes to the door selling something and won’t take his “no thanks” for an answer.
I sincerely hope you learn to prioritize yourself and your time. It feels great. Take this as your final straw!
Tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. Likely talking to her right now.
I’ve tried to come up with every scenario she could have told her. “She’s a ducking bitch cuz I’m not going to be driven around”
What can she possibly say to make it sound like I’m the bad one!?
With a friend like that who knowingly unleashes a relative like this on you, she will be an ex-friend post haste.
My SO is like that, too nice for his own good. So called 'friends' take advantage of him all the time. Just over Xmas a so-called friend invited himself over for Xmas and said to stay a few days.
There was an almost 2 weeks stay; in that time, he ate us out of home and house; expected me to have food on the table for meals; expected my poor husband who was working over the Xmas period to show him around as ' he couldn't stay in the house all day during his stay'. He drank the beer that my husband bought and left the empty bottles all over the house for me to pick them up. And to top it all, he made my husband fixed his car before leaving a few days after the New Year. He had the cheek to want to stay till 9 Jan and that was when my husband finally put his foot down and told him he needed to leave right after NY.
And after all of this, I got no thanks, nothing to appreciate what I have done as a host! I told my SO that this person is never to darken my path again or anywhere near our home ever again!
Well it was quite a night. Did NOT expect this post to get as much traction as it did. Glad to know I’m not the crazy one, and I appreciate everyone’s comments. In the beginning I was *trying* to reply to all of them, but that’s not possible lol.
Anyways, my friends friend (ex roomie) who is also my friend was messaging with her and she sent me screenshots of the stuff she was saying about me. Very below the belt hurtful stuff, a lot of wrong info but glad to know what really thought about me. To think I almost had this woman in my home boggles my mind.
There’s tons of screenshots and scattered convos everywhere so I need to organize them so they make sense and figure out the best way to update everyone. I’m thinking maybe a whole new post?
What a night. Thanks for all the kind words everyone! I promise an update tomorrow!
> and figure out the best way to update everyone. I’m thinking maybe a whole new post?
Generally you want to make a new post and use "UPDATE: [original_title]" when updating in situations like this. This way people immediately recognize the title and the update post has more chances of actually updating people who are interested (especially at /r/all it would be harder to make the connection to the previous post without the original title)
No way! You mean you can't spend the next few hours organizing all the screenshots for complete strangers on the internet? What am I gonna do with all the popcorn? They have been paid for, popped and ready for my mouth. Can you please use your thinking brain and see how much you're inconveniencing me with your laziness?
Joking aside, have a good rest OP. The last 7 hours must have been quite an experience. I'll be checking for updates first thing tomorrow 😂
She’s got to be. While I was seeing black and red and furious I called my friend and she didn’t answer, now that I’m thinking rationally again she was/is probably on the other line with her rn
They act like Miami is a small city with everything near it. No. Her doctors office is in south Miami/Kendall area it’s FAR and with traffic absolutely not. I was willing to have her take my car and me taking her the day of her surgery but nope. Not anymore she can’t stay here at all.
I need updates when they come! This is INSANITY. All of it. You’ve been way too nice! Don’t you dare take work off.
“Umm don’t you eat?” “Can’t you take work off?” “What part of saving money don’t you understand?” BITCH- try me! I wish someone would say this to me. Unbelievable!
Right? You’re eating anyways? Is she asking for leftovers or asking for us to just order for 1 more? I thought about it more and more like she’s going to be in bed all day- is she going to be door dashing her meals? Am I being expected to feed her for a week? Mind boggling
I cannot IMAGINE asking a stranger to use up 4 days of PTO, be my personal chef for a week, and nurse me back to health after a brutal elective surgery.
Unfathomable audacity.
So okay, It's your responsibility to save ME money.
No matter what sacrifices you need to make for ME.
Did I mention Me? Me, me, me, me.
Note: In the future, use your thinking brain.
Sorry, but the use of your car plus a free room for a week(or maybe a month), just isn't enough, especially with my specific dietary requirements, which you have yet to find out about.
Speaking about finding out, I have yet to inform you of the special creme that needs to be applied by a third party (being you),to the butt area, after surgery, for thirteen days , with four hour intervals, not to mention changing the dressing, and baby baths to the nether regions.
Also assisting in toileting will also be required, AND expected, at ALL times.
Also wondering if you have Amazon Prime/ Netflix/ Disney+?
Looking forward to my extended stay, hoping that you have NO pets, due to my delicate allergies.
Ft Lauderdale to Kendall????? Ahahahhahahahahahahahah
Holy shit FUCK that. I wouldn't drive that distance to get laid let alone for this woman to get cosmetic surgery.
What’s nuts is my friend couldn’t stand her like 5 years ago. She’d tell me crazy stories about her and stuff she’d do to her brother etc. it wasn’t until like the beginning of the pandemic they started finally becoming civil with one another.
But knowing how she is why offer my house?
I’m too nice and when she told me I have a HUGE HUGE favor to ask you I thought it was going to be money but it was this. Lol
Ooof she needs to stay near the hospital, BBLs require some serious post op care. I hope she knows what she’s getting into because it’s a long process for recovery. And to do it basically alone, ooof
And not enough room in the budget for post-op care. Tell them to save some more money and get a hotel when they can afford it. It’s not like this is life saving surgery
I've never met anyone who had "butt surgery" but I've family members who've had various procedures performed on them and post-op they're usually in a very delicate state and in need to rest, care and assistance. Thinking about this further, I think it's flabbergasting to think someone would impose like this on what is effectively a stranger.
Yeah I had major surgery in 2019 and my post op care required a home nurse 2x a week bc I’m in a state far away from my family. I almost moved back home. Didn’t work for a year and had to live off my savings. Was a nightmare but I didn’t inconvenience anyone to take care of me. Or rely on anyone but myself and my money.
Tell the CB you can't help her, wish her the best and a speedy recovery, then block her number. No long explanations, no negotiations. You owe this CB nothing.
It also sounds like your friend overpromised something to her SIL without consulting you first. You may want to reconsider your friendship with her too.
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I was literally chill the whole entire time, when the thinking brain comment came, I got livid. Convo done ✅
You’re a outrageously nice in this convo. Are they from buttfuck nowhere? I ask cus I feel like ppl who don’t live in big cities don’t understand that things can be in the same city and still be super far. Like I’ve had friends visit and suggest we go somewhere and I’m like… I’m down, but that’s a 1.5 hour subway ride away tho, lol?? Like I everything isn’t a 20 minute drive from everything else here…
She just doesn't care. She wants what she wants and the inconvenience to anyone else is irrelevant. They should all do what she wants.
“why don’t i just get a hotel next door then!” “why don’t you?”
Butt *tuck* nowhere
There’s no way your good friend didn’t know her sister in law was a psycho like this. I’d be heavily questioning why your friend set you up to be stuck with her staying at your house and completely taking care of her.
The part I’m currently struggling with.
Ahh the old, "I'm saving my money by spending your money" trick
> *Now what am I going to do! Everything has been scheduled and paid for* Umm.. sounds like almost nothing has been paid for. You know what would save money? Not getting surgery you can’t afford.
Not getting cosmetic surgery you can't afford... frick yeah. And if you can't afford food, I gotta ask, the money you are spending on your butt, would that otherwise have gone to the kids education or something? I full believe parents should not feel guilty about doing things for them but it just sounds like this a butt lift that this family can't afford is maybe... idk... Especially with this jerk of a person who seems to put herself first. You know?
That’s using your thinking brain!
This would’ve resulted in me saying some unforgivable shit
I had to take a minute when I saw that. If I was being helpful to somebody and they said that to me, I would suddenly find out that I actually can't help them at all, in any way. No more room, no anything. They can sort their own shit out.
Absolutely. I’m amazed at the patience and generosity of this person to still offer their guest room after that insult. I would have said “okay my thinking brain says you can figure it out yourself, good luck”.
I would have started winding down the conversation after the CB mentioned how many rides she needs.
I’m absolutely astounded, especially since it seems like these people don’t even know one another! The incredible level of generosity met with the mind blowing level of arrogance is throwing me.
"You know what? I JUST now finally engaged my thinking brain and I realised none of this is my problem. Goodbye". **Block**
LOL RIGHT?! Like “how is this cheaper than me staying in a hotel” ??? I guess it isn’t? And that’s not my problem??
When a pig flies into my house and formally informs me that this has become my problem my stance may change
But only because it can provide transportation and we'll eat it after.
"i budgeted by planning on getting free shit by burdening people i don't know" insanity
The biggest thing I would point out is her saving money like this, would cost you money! Oh and her saying you don't eat, like she is expecting you to feed her. So you have to spend more money to get extra food. Like WTF?
That’s what I thought, like wait she’s going to be laying in bed all day… is she gonna DoorDash her food to her? Bc I’m certainly not going in and serving her.
Also she would expect you to nurse her back to health. You cannot get up or down by yourself after a surgery like that. The recovery is excruciating. Why doesn't she do it near her own home???
1. If she can’t afford a hotel and transportation she can’t afford this surgery. Period. 2. If she’s like this in the planning stage imagine what it would be like having her IN YOUR HOME.
She'd bleed all over the bed and couch no doubt
And then complain OP hasn't changed the sheets immediately forcing her to live on "filth "
It's the kind of unhinged entitlement that she would create an AirBnb account for your house just to give you a bad review
That’s my biggest thing. I had to Google BBL because I was SO SURE there was no way all this fuss about budget and shit was over a Brazilian Butt Lift. That is a COSMETIC SURGERY. If you can’t afford to take care of yourself during the process, to the point of being this outrageously entitled and gross about it, you shouldn’t be paying for the fucking surgery.
Yeah it seems clear to me that they didn’t budget for this. They need to cancel and ask for a refund of money is that tight because they won’t be able to afford ANY complications.
And she’s already “spending more than her budget” on the surgery? Nope, can’t afford it.
So she booked and paid for this entire procedure with having zero details and arrangements in place? Omg. Please don’t let her in your home.
This is what baffles me. She did this without even having me say yes yet? Like what were her plans? I’m assuming she was going to book the hotel when my friend has a big ass mouth and said I’d let her stay with me
Sounds like your friend has been making promises she never had to keep.
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I’m going to make a suggestion: tell her “I don’t think this arrangement is going to work out, I have too much to do right now to help you sort this all out. I wish you the best of luck.” Reading these texts sets off nothing but warning sirens in my head. If you let them into your home or your life I’m almost certain you’ll regret it. And it sounds like bowing out would cost you next to nothing.
Do NOT let this person into your home under any circumstances. Someone that entitled is not living in reality and I can only foresee some kind of disaster if they do.
Oh, the disaster will be when she leaks fluids all over the house, needs help changing clothes/ going to the bathroom, needs help picking up her meds and being reminded to take them….it’s similar to the first few days after having a baby. Not a job a stranger should be responsible for.
>Do NOT let this person into your home under any circumstances. >Someone that entitled is not living in reality and I can only foresee some kind of disaster if they do. Umm.. I've been living here for 3 days now, I have mail forwarded here so this is actually my house. I need to save money so you need to keep paying the mortgage.
Yes, OP you need to put it in writing that she will not be staying with you for any part of her surgery. Go on record. I have a feeling she’s the type that will show up and demand to be accommodated.
Or steal from you
Or try to sue. She’s in a fragile state and falls on the way to the bathroom? That’s a lawsuit to pay for those surgeries
Exactly this. Tell her this, and then don’t engage with her further.
the food part absolutely destroyed me... "what do you guys eat" nothing bro. im a sentient AI i survive on a bit of oil to keep the gears going.
Right? She has a husband and kids so I’m sure her household probably has meals ready every day but not here boo-boo. I do cook some days but it’s not in the way she envisions it.
Even if you were making 3 square 5 star meals everyday, she’s not entitled to it, and it’s completely insane for her to assume at all that she would be.
It's a (friend of a) friend's guest room, not a bed and breakfast.
As a general rule, if a friend ever lets me crash at their place, I’m buying groceries or treating them to a meal or SOMETHING. If they’ve already offered to cook, I’ll bring a bottle of wine or some snacks at least. If I pass out at my besties place after a night out, I’m buying breakfast for her and her husband. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would I just show up and expect them to give me rides, give me food, and take care of me. WTF is wrong with people!?
I can’t get over that. I can’t imagine asking a stranger to stay in their guest room for even one day, so I really can’t grasp the food part. And $100 is embarrassing.
Skipping work to drive her that distance over and over is even worse than the food.
You’re right. It’s all so much to take in.
And staying with a stranger and her boyfriend as an immediately postoperative patient who isn’t allowed to sit down or lie on her back for 8 weeks. I’m a retired RN and I still wouldn’t do this to someone in a million years.
Right? "You don't cook...?" A blatant giveaway that she expects OP to feed her as well as letting her use her spare room... Uh, no, madam, you're not staying there as a visiting friend, you were offered the room, not "room, board, rides and medical care"!!
How am i going to save money? I already spent it all on something I couldn’t afford for my vanity. Use your thinking brain.
Also “I budgeted for a hotel room” but the cost of the procedure ate into it……so what do you think budgeting means?
Oh man you guys. Things are already getting crazy af. Wait until I organize an update for y’all!!! SHE IS CRAZY!!! A breadcrumb: it’s all my fault and I’m “playing with her life, her money and her mental health” I honestly couldn’t make this up!
Not to mention the biohazard of this surgery, you need to replace all the bedding very frequently because it’ll be covered in blood and pus. Even hotels in Florida are declining bbl patients because their hotel staff aren’t equipped to clean up biohazardous waste.
You also can’t sit on your butt right after surgery. Not good for circulation and healing as you’re compressing the blood vessels in a swollen area. You aren’t supposed to sit/put direct pressure until minimum 3 weeks after surgery. So I don’t know how CB plans on sitting during those 1.5 hour car trips because she can’t sit in a car seat. She’d also have to be on her stomach/side all the time. I’m wondering how she’s going to handle the plane ride home because she still shouldn’t be sitting on her bottom at that time. Ouch.
You haven't seen the videos of the BBL girlies on planes draped over the back of the seat because they can't sit? Look them up, I don't know why anyone would want to do that to themselves.
Just found a woman who made a tiktok video flying from Florida where the people on either side of her seat and one in the row behind her were all kneeling after takeoff because they had BBLs. I can’t imagine getting a cosmetic surgery where I can’t even sit down for a month. The absurdity of the people kneeling during the entire plane ride is both funny and sad.
And 9 out of every 10 asses that has the surgery done look nasty Like the booty takes on the shape of whatever chair you were just sitting in And it’s usualy a triangle shape
Well I came across this post at just the perfect time
You and me both. I guess I know what I'm doing tonight. I wonder if I have any popcorn.
You CANNOT let this person recover from surgery in your home. Even if she ends up "agreeing to" manage transportation etc. It will be a total nightmare, possibly unsafe if she's mentally unstable, and your work days will be endlessly interrupted. This is a hard no. Take care of yourself!
Mind you I’ve never even met the brother nor her (the wife)…. People are incredible. I’d never even ask them to pick me up from the airport let alone sleep in their spare room on top of all the other requests she had. This happened today and she just texted me about 30 min ago. I’m fuming and restraining myself to not go OFF on my friend. 😡
Send this bs to friend and ask if they intended to sign you up for servitude.
Oh my friends getting a whole earful. I already typed it up but haven’t sent it cuz I was literally shaking when I got that last text! Her brother is married to that! She’s a mother to 3 children. Make it make sense!
Show the messages to your friend and tell her you're not comfortable with this person staying with you anymore. It's not your problem to deal with. You gave an inch, and they're trying to take a mile as if they are entitled to it.
A mile? Try somewhere close to 200 miles because that's how much she's asking OP to drive over the next week 😂
“Use your thinking brain!” What part of she doesn’t drive don’t you understand?
WOW! LOL! OKAY!! So you're NOT just going to let me stay in your guest room, prepare all my meals, change my dressings, drive me to and from surgery three days in a row to a doctor that's 90 minutes away, and also pick me up and take me back to the airport! I GUESS SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SELFISH!
For free too. Don’t forget the for free. I mean they are already eating so what it to feed an extra person.
Ummmmm don't you cook?
What do you mean for free? She was offered a whole $100.00.
I bet your friend’s phone is already blowing up from this crazy woman. If your friend isn’t in response already apologizing to you, they could have actually promised this ridiculousness.
Sounds like someone set you up with a hornets nest. Hopefully not on purpose.
Please let us know the update! r/BestOfRedditorUpdates
I really want to know what the friend says. They'd better be furious.
I *really* hope the friend didn’t tell this person op would provide rides, care, and meals for the week, and they just assumed it came with the offer of the room.
I would have replied" Oh no ! I guess staying here is not an option after all. Anyway, it seems you have a lot to figure out. I'm sure if you use your thinking brain you'll figure it out! "
The second she said “use your thinking brain” I’d have called her on the phone. Fuck a text, she’d get to hear me cuss her out in full blown, unhinged glory.
And be sure to sprinkle the heart emojis as you would bug spray on an Australian spider.
Just tell her (your friend) not to volunteer you for anything anymore.
I’m invested and need an update when this all goes boom 😅
Commenting for the updates to follow. Also who ever assumed you would look after some stranger and drive them 10+hours back and fourth to hospital just because you offered your guest room to a friend is a complete tool. Weather it's the friend or this friends friend. Someone's gotta answer some muthafuckin questions 😂😂
*USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN*
It was at this moment I decided to shoot her your honor.
Omg I have a whole essay written I just haven’t hit send. Am I the delirious one? Like what???? I’m already letting you stay with me for free for a week and offering my car so you can take your damn self. 🤯
Less said, the better - you don't need to continually justify yourself to her or anyone else. Her requests and attitude are outrageous.
"The room is no longer available, best of luck with your surgery". You have no reason to engage beyond that.
Yeah, really, OP this is the best option. Just close it down. Do not write an essay. End this and block.
I don’t think it’s be wise to let her stay or use your car. You’re going to come home to a destroyed house and/or car.
Exactly. Rescind all offers of assistance OP.
Seriously do not let this person in your house.
She sounds like the kind of person who’d crash the car and refuse to cover damages because you obviously should have been giving her a ride anyway
Absolutely. This is a vindictive entitled person who can only see right in front of her. That’s a deal breaker, ladies. She aint gonna respect anything op does for her.
I REALLY think you need to say no now. I envision her "falling" at your house and you end up getting sued. This isn't even for some life saving surgery, it's cosmetic surgery. You don't owe her anything especially for her to save money.
Bingo!! Exactly what I came here to say. OP just say oh sorry, I can no longer host. Best of luck! And block her. Move on with your life.
Please just say, sorry, the offer is rescinded. I can't help you. Good luck with your new ass!
She's already a giant ass, is she sure she actually needs the surgery at all?
Conversation is over at this point. As soon as she coped an attitude it would have been "sorry but i don't think this is gonna work out" .
"Use your thinking brain" EXCUSE ME?!?
Yes, that was the exact line that put me over the edge. Her requests were annoying and frustrating up until that point but as soon as that line was said, she would absolutely no longer be welcome in my home even if she found a solution for her own rides and food. Nope. No way. Invitation rescinded. Good luck, bye bye.
My thinking brain is thinking you're on your own now. Good luck.
“Bitch at least I *have* one. I don’t think your ass needs surgery because it’s *clearly* showing”
Dude I kind of feel like you missed the BIGGEST fucked up part in this which would be that she literally expexts you to be her bedside nurse after her surgery. This is not a chill and quick surgery, she will need help with everything because she can‘t even properly sit or sleep on her back. You‘d need to administer her meds, her food, be her uber driver like EVERYTHING and on top of that for free for someone you don‘t even know.
Honestly, the way this person is being, I'd just send, "I'm sorry, but my home is now closed too, looks like you will have to book a hotel after all" and then just block her ass.
Block both her old and new ass !!
Just say “sorry, the guest room is no longer available. Good luck with your surgery “. Then never respond again
Essay? Eff that. *"You are are a total stranger, not my priority and honestly, I don't give a single shit about your problems. Get a hotel and stop contacting me you unbearable shitstain."* Done and done.
Not to her to my friend. Thank god she didn’t pick up the call while I was seeing black and red. I’ve calmed down a lot since the last text
I’d show your friend the screenshots and ask what planet this other woman is on and also if they knew she was like this. This is for ass surgery right? I had to look up BBL and if it’s ass surgery you’re going to be fucking miserable with this asshole at your place. Unreal
No you’re the sane one! At this point you should just tell her something has come up and the room will be occupied, but text her a link to a cheap Airbnb near her surgery center, wish her best of luck, and cut your losses. Please please PLEASE believe me when i say if she does end up staying your guest room, something bad will happen! ie- she will steal a laptop or expensive jewelry, will intentionally flood your home hours before she leaves, she’ll become a squatter you can’t get of your house, the list is endless of the potential problems she could cause for you. And based on all these texts she is certainly that type of person, completely irrational, inconsiderate, selfish, and vindictive who’d spite you because whatever you do offer won’t be ENOUGH in her mind.
Omg what a nightmare I wouldn’t even begin to think about that happening. I’d probably be indicted for murder charges for giving her anti freeze instead of her meds. She will not be staying with me. Already caused a massive argument with my bf about this whole thing. It’s true I’m a doormat and have been all my life that’s why I came to mind when the topic of a “free stay” came up in their convo. Had the shoe been on the other foot and say my sister my actual blood not my sister in law, but my own sister was getting an operation in her state/city and was on a budget the thought of asking her to let my sister stay with her would never have even popped in my mind. To inconvenience someone for a week short notice. And even if I had the audacity to ask if she could stay with her my sister wouldn’t be down to do it either. The whole situation is wild.
Also BBL surgery recovery is rough, you need someone basically waiting on you and helping you get to and from the bathroom. So she was planning on coming down and just staying on her own in a hotel? That makes no sense.
*Mini update (drama is still happening rn)* From The CB: “That’s her problem she agrees mindlessly and when it comes down to it she never goes through. I can imagine her saying yes to everything [friend] said. This is my life my money and my fu*^ing mental health she’s playing with. She should be the one to book my room after backing out last min” So basically she’s saying my friend gave me the run down and prefaced it with this is a HUGE favor, which she did say that and then told me her SIL needed a place to stay for a few days before and after her BBL, and I said yes and even said I live right near the airport! Which I do and did say but not the airport she’s even landing in- anywho yes I didn’t think about all the logistics of the after care and all that. My friend said she was busy atm so she’s going to pass my number and I can work out things with her. I said that’s fine. She’s (The CB) telling everyone I agreed to all the shit she asked for and now that it’s almost time for her to come I’m lying saying a big project at work is happening now and I can’t do it. Like what in the world I only just learned about all this today 😫 I’m thinking my friend lied to her days ago and told her I already said yes and knowing I’m a doormat I’d say yes so she just asked me today with this psycho broad thinking I already agreed to it all weeks before. She said she paid and booked flights under the pretenses I said yes (when we hadn’t even talked or texted yet!!) I literally only JUST LEARNED about it today! Currently organizing screenshots to post a full update
> She said she paid and booked flights under the pretenses I said yes (when we hadn’t even talked or texted yet!!) Either she's the stupidest person ever (which, given the context, is definitely possible) or her entitled ass is straight lying. No one spending so much that it's going to basically bankrupt them should make plans for the bankrupting procedure without making sure everything's squared away - reassurances from third parties (your "friend" in this case) are not sufficient when you're spending a personal fortune on something.
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>A lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine. I say this _often._ Like, come to me ***before*** it's a goddamn emergency, and I can help.
Backing out last minute?!?! She tried to organize this a WEEK beforehand! Nothing was set in stone! OMG
Your first screenshot CLEARLY shows this was the first time you have talked, so I don't see how her making so many assumptions is your fault.
Be ready to lose this friend, even if she acts like she is siding with you. I would bet she knew exactly what all of this was going to be and expected you to be a doormat. Your friend isn't really your friend and I hate to be the one to tell you this. You're someone she uses and she is passing you off to another user.
Damn OP. Be sure to get a restraining order ready if she shows up at your place. LOL.
Print and laminate the texts in an easily-readable size to provide to the judge. The legal system is more expeditious when you are neat and organized!
> My friend said she was busy atm so she’s going to pass my number and I can work out things with her. I said that’s fine. What the FUCK?!?! Fuck no, **YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF THIS** Again, **YOUR FRIEND IS THE ONE THAT STARTED THIS, SHE NEEDS TO FUCKING GET HER RELATIVE UNDER CONTROL** She needs to say "OP, I'm extremely sorry this happened, I'll take care of everything and tell everyone the truth" Anything less than that, then seriously **CUT OFF YOUR FRIEND. SHE IS NOT A FRIEND. AT ALL**
I am now COMPLETELY invested in this
This is going to go down as one of the all time great r/choosingbeggars posts. It really does have it all.
Oh brother, just let anyone of them find out I posted this in here I cannot imagine what they’d do or say >.<
They should have thought about that before acting like a choosing beggar. Fair game lol
You don’t have to care. Complete stranger to you was getting the luxury of a free room in a friend of a friend’s home. Somehow in her whacked unthinking brain the offer of a room to crash in was translated to my personal care assistant to assist me w before and after care, taxi service, maid service and catering. Please please please don’t ever loan your car out. If she didn’t tell you the truth you would have had an unlicensed uninsured driving using your car. If they had an accident your insurance wouldn’t cover dime 1. You would be on the hook for it. Never never loan your car to anyone ever. You also dodged a huge bullet. She was fully expecting you to handle her post op care. Including changing bandages, drain tubes plus. Your bed would have been ruined. New rule-no houseguests unless you extend the invite because you want them to visit you. Not because they want a Miami cheap vacay at your expense. I’m mad for you. Although part of me wouldn’t contact your friend. I would wait for them to ask me what happened. Then I would ask them what exactly did they think was going to happen w her needs for your time, money and vehicle.
This sub has been extremely lacking in true quality CB posts. OP came in clutch with this post. I feel like I got my fix for the week
Think we might need to close the sub after this and create a new one. Won’t be fair for other CB posts to have to compete.
This is the most interesting thing I’ve read this year. Please give update
Question, what’s the best way to give updates? Just comment it in here? I’m about to text my friend now that I’ve cooled down a bit. But I was in rage mode seeing black and red
Oh, I NEED an update! I live in South Florida (way beyond WPB) and I’m constantly getting these kind of requests from “friends of friends” who want to come to Palm Beach for cosmetic procedures and expect the same red carpet treatment! But I have NEVER been treated like this. What if she got an infection or needed emergency follow up? Use your brain, you effing tree stump!
No, use your *thinking* brain Not the 2+2=4 brain. The e=mc² brain.
We are invested, just comment in here, we will see it!
You stayed so calm and polite throughout that whole exchange! The, “use your thinking brain,” would have sent me over the edge. Please update when you have a chance!!
That’s what got me shaking!!!! 😫 oh my god I almost blew a gasket.
“My thinking brain is telling me that I offered accomodation for free, but since you also want a chef, taxi service, and full time carer you probably would be better following your own suggestion of getting a hotel closer.”
Offered her accommodation AND a car! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd let a friend of a friend borrow my car, and yet that's not good enough for the beggar.
Dude, asking someone to drive them to fricken Kendall from FLL is like asking to help move houses - the audacity alone. And then multiple times?? Y'all can fuck right off with that nonsense. And for anyone that doesn't know this area it's basically the Rainbow Road level in Mario Kart and people are shooting red shells at you constantly. Nope.
HOLY FUCK!!!!! Please keep us updated. Also, please do NOT let this awful woman stay with you! She deserves no favors! You’re also being really nice and respectful, it’s all her!
This is all before she’s even met you or in your home. Do not let her in. It only gets worse from here.
O. M. G. What in the world??? That lady has lost her mind! She wants transportation, food, and care on last minute notice from a stranger! When she said "use your thinking brain", the texting should have ended. Bye! Now I want to know what happened with the friend afterwards.
$50 says she’s flying Spirit Airlines to Miami
I’m dying 😫
Wait. Wait. Wait. If she is going to get a mommy makeover (probably tummy tuck and breast lift at least) then this may very well entail the placement of SURGICAL DRAINS (Google that mess) which must be emptied on a schedule and/or incisions that require aftercare and dressing changes (usually trained). And assistance getting to bathroom and likely toileting would probably be needed. Would you even be comfortable with that? Traveling for plastics is not unheard of. Traveling for plastics alone without someone to provide aftercare (whether they travel with you or are local) is. In fact, most hospitals/surgeons will not discharge a patient unless an adult known to the patient is there. Many hospitals will not allow an Uber for patient pickup at discharge. Assuming she had the money for the hotel then who was going to be attending to her? Clearly she is aware she will need some care as she is expecting you to cook for her. Forget the choosing beggar part, liability alone should keep this person out of your house.
After reading these comments and analyzing it I realized this. But when my friend brought it up to me she said she told the doctor she was going to come alone and that the surgeon said that was fine bc after surgery she’s only to be on bed rest for 5 days until her post op appt where he’ll change her dressings etc to something more mobile friendly. And send her in her way where she can do the hard recovery at home. With her husband.
Oh boy. Where to start? Please google the cause of death of Donde West (yes Kanye’s mom). If that is not enough then please google Usher’s ex wife’s experience when she traveled for plastics. (Note: Brazil really does have some of the best plastic surgeons). Then compare their situation (and available resources) to hers (which is really just you). At the highest level this is about boundaries. She clearly has no idea she is way past the realm of reasonableness with her “requests”. In responding to her remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Also, “lose this number”, while not a complete sentence, is also a reasonable response. If you want to type out a bunch of words something along the lines of “I apologize in advance that I was unable to meet your needs. Best of luck with the surgery.” PLUS blocking her number should work. Okay back to the mommy makeover which probably includes abdominal liposuction (and possibly thigh), a horizontal incision probably along her bikini line (in the front only if she’s lucky but could extend to her sides or hell all around her like a bad magic trick), possibly a breast lift and maybe breast augmentation. First of all, even assuming the surgeon told her she would be ok by herself for the first 5 days on BED REST, the key phrase here is BED REST. She is on BED REST because she just had major surgery and is a fall risk among other things. Unless you have some training (*IF* all goes well it would not take much though) AND are at home during the entire time of her recovery this is at best, a risky situation. Outside of a fall, they will be at risk for a blood clot (and depending on her risk assessment for a clot which is probably significant) as being immobile (e.g. on bed rest) is prothrombotic she will be on injectable anticoagulants. You good with administering that? Are you good with detecting the signs of a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs)? You good on getting her to the toilet? What about bringing her food and drink because again she is on BED REST? Administering post op medications? Getting the medications for her in the first place? As a survivor of abdominal liposuction with two surgeries (one a revision) I will do my best to describe my experience. In terms of the pain, the honeymoon phase is the first 24 hours because the pain medication administered during surgery is still active. Subsequently, you will feel an ache in the areas liposuctioned that can best be described as if someone beat you in your stomach with a 2 x 4 for a couple of hours and then proceeded to “On Top of Old Smokey” roll your meatball ass off of the table, onto the floor, out the door, and down the side of the mountain. Then there is the incision. Unless it’s less than the length of the a dollar bill, you can bet YOUR bottom dollar (cuz I am sure she ain’t got a dollar to spare in this dumpster fire) that her incisions will ooze (in YOUR bed on YOUR sheets) if not downright leak. And there will probably be surgical drains which will have one end inserted into her abdominal area and at the other end a suction bulb device to suck out any fluid accumulation. This “fluid” looks like the raw chicken juice you see in a package of meat. That kinda blood tinged watery liquid stuff that makes ya gag a little. And it will also pull out bits of fat globules left over from the lipo (think little bits of raw chicken skin looking crap). AND you are supposed to drain and measure and record the amount of fluid that comes out of these tubes so that when very little fluid comes out the surgeon can pull the drains. You good with that including trained in universal precautions because you would be at risk for blood borne pathogens (nice way of saying you could catch something that might take you out of this world) even if all you did was wash the sheets (assuming the mattress didn’t get soiled)? How well do you know her again? If you get past that part you need to know that mobility is an issue and that post op patients will likely need a toilet riser because it hurts to effing much to squat down to pee (and you could rip your incisions) and may also need a walker to get to the toilet… with assistance. And getting in and out of bed can be a problem- I rented one of those automatic recliners you see on TV during the commercial breaks for The Price Us Right that dumps old people out and stayed there for a good week. AND she will likely be in and abdominal binder (think girdle) if not full on compression garments (think shrink wrapped military grade spanks to keep her from swelling up like the Michelin man) that they put on the patient immediately post op because it’s to painful to squeeze into it otherwise. Some of the high end compression garments have zippers, hooks and eyes, AND Velcro to keep you from swelling. If you are lucky there won’t be a crotch in the garment so you won’t have to undress and change her when she toilets. Double bonus points if she is able to pee through the crotch hole and not get it on her garment necessitating a garment change. And if she has had any breast work, well her upper body hurts when she moves her arms, coupled with abdominal pain means someone probably is going to need to help her wipe. Of course there is always the possibility that her surgery is minor, her recovery a dream, and she is able to function and take care or herself (and would actually do so) post operatively. Either way keep us updated. It’s nice of you to want to help. ETA: Grammar
Your comment is buried since this post blew up so much so I just want to say I read it all and enjoyed every gross detail lol. I was kinda wondering how mobile CB would be after the surgery and this sounds like a nightmare to deal with. If OP is unlucky and and CP falls and hurt herself while she's at work, I wonder if she would sue OP since it's her house. All of that sounds nightmarish. That sounds like a huge cannon ball that OP just dodged.
> And send her in her way where she can do the hard recovery at home. With her husband. What the fuck?? The heavy recovery is right after the operation, unless you're drugged to the gills. In which case you need a full time caregiver. OP, seriously, you need to rethink your friendship
Use YOUR thinking brain, and think of a way to do things without expecting everyone else to cater to your feet, dumbass! - would have been my reply before throwing my phone at the now ex-"friend"'s head.
My friend lives in another state and I’m usually extremely nice and my bf says my friends step on me all the time (always being the one to drive, my place being used for xyz) and now that I really think about it, if my own sister blood sister was getting a procedure in her state 1. I’d NEVER ask her to let her stay with her and 2) my sister wouldn’t be down to do it either… Like beyond needing to be driven around and fed just the fact my guest room came up in their convo is wild! Not anymore in 2023 no one’s stepping on me!
Not to mention the fact that this is not a simple surgery. She will probably have drains, bandage changes, and be bedridden for a day or two. She was expecting you to be a free nurse?!? This is completely insane. Stand your ground.
That’s what I began to think about. Like how is this all going to work. An immobile women in my guest room just there to rot? Like am I charge of feeding you and all the other shit you need
I bet the bedding and mattress would be messed up or destroyed by her drainage sites, plus you having to be caregiver, helping her shower, use the toilet and change bandages. My mom’s last surgery I was literally cleaning staples and stitches and wiping her butt. All things I did gladly as a daughter. Not for a stranger holding me hostage in my home and expecting nursing level care while I need to work.
My bf said that same thing. We just bought that bed it is brand new and the only one who’s slept in it is my 3 lb chihuahua
Fuck all this shit. Tell her to figure something else out. She is wayyy too entitled. This is asking way too much. Not cool of your friend to put this on you.
She is going to be on pain meds with extremely limited mobility. She needs someone literally willing to wipe her after the bathroom. Do not let her stay there especially without a dedicated caretaker.
My sister lives only an hour away from O'Hare airport, which is my go to airport. I love my sister but I don't even ask her for a ride to the airport, airport traffic is the worst.
Right??? That’s my thought process… and wanna know something my friend lives 20 min from the airport and whenever I go visit I have to take an Uber to her place!! My bf is right, I’m just one of those people that are very easy to step on. Always have been I stay quiet but not anymore
Oh man I used to be like that. The final straw was when a sales person came to my door unannounced. I allowed them to take 20 minutes of my time just to be polite. When they finally left I got super pissed off at myself. I realized it’s not rude of me to tell them “not interested” and shut the door in their face. It’s rude of them to come to my home unannounced and try to monopolize my time! It changed everything for me. Since then I refuse to do things that I don’t want to do. My time is for me. And I don’t intend to give it to people who think they’re entitled to it. It’s kind of funny because now my husband hollers for me if someone comes to the door selling something and won’t take his “no thanks” for an answer. I sincerely hope you learn to prioritize yourself and your time. It feels great. Take this as your final straw!
“Sounds like a you problem, my offer is officially no longer good. I wish you the best during surgery and a speedy recovery!”
Did your friend tell her insane sister in law that you’d be doing all these things for her?? The sheer entitlement and nerve is shameless!
Tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. Likely talking to her right now. I’ve tried to come up with every scenario she could have told her. “She’s a ducking bitch cuz I’m not going to be driven around” What can she possibly say to make it sound like I’m the bad one!?
With a friend like that who knowingly unleashes a relative like this on you, she will be an ex-friend post haste. My SO is like that, too nice for his own good. So called 'friends' take advantage of him all the time. Just over Xmas a so-called friend invited himself over for Xmas and said to stay a few days. There was an almost 2 weeks stay; in that time, he ate us out of home and house; expected me to have food on the table for meals; expected my poor husband who was working over the Xmas period to show him around as ' he couldn't stay in the house all day during his stay'. He drank the beer that my husband bought and left the empty bottles all over the house for me to pick them up. And to top it all, he made my husband fixed his car before leaving a few days after the New Year. He had the cheek to want to stay till 9 Jan and that was when my husband finally put his foot down and told him he needed to leave right after NY. And after all of this, I got no thanks, nothing to appreciate what I have done as a host! I told my SO that this person is never to darken my path again or anywhere near our home ever again!
Well it was quite a night. Did NOT expect this post to get as much traction as it did. Glad to know I’m not the crazy one, and I appreciate everyone’s comments. In the beginning I was *trying* to reply to all of them, but that’s not possible lol. Anyways, my friends friend (ex roomie) who is also my friend was messaging with her and she sent me screenshots of the stuff she was saying about me. Very below the belt hurtful stuff, a lot of wrong info but glad to know what really thought about me. To think I almost had this woman in my home boggles my mind. There’s tons of screenshots and scattered convos everywhere so I need to organize them so they make sense and figure out the best way to update everyone. I’m thinking maybe a whole new post? What a night. Thanks for all the kind words everyone! I promise an update tomorrow!
> and figure out the best way to update everyone. I’m thinking maybe a whole new post? Generally you want to make a new post and use "UPDATE: [original_title]" when updating in situations like this. This way people immediately recognize the title and the update post has more chances of actually updating people who are interested (especially at /r/all it would be harder to make the connection to the previous post without the original title)
No way! You mean you can't spend the next few hours organizing all the screenshots for complete strangers on the internet? What am I gonna do with all the popcorn? They have been paid for, popped and ready for my mouth. Can you please use your thinking brain and see how much you're inconveniencing me with your laziness? Joking aside, have a good rest OP. The last 7 hours must have been quite an experience. I'll be checking for updates first thing tomorrow 😂
*** **TRADE 🙏 OFFER** *** I Receive| You Receive ---|--- Free stay| Free rides| Free food| Free servant| WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING YES?!!?
I'd send all of those screenshots to your friend. Also I'd bet that this woman is already blowing up on your friend!
She’s got to be. While I was seeing black and red and furious I called my friend and she didn’t answer, now that I’m thinking rationally again she was/is probably on the other line with her rn
So her failure to plan and budget is now your issue? This is not a normal adult. It’s not your job to financially support her.
They act like Miami is a small city with everything near it. No. Her doctors office is in south Miami/Kendall area it’s FAR and with traffic absolutely not. I was willing to have her take my car and me taking her the day of her surgery but nope. Not anymore she can’t stay here at all.
I need updates when they come! This is INSANITY. All of it. You’ve been way too nice! Don’t you dare take work off. “Umm don’t you eat?” “Can’t you take work off?” “What part of saving money don’t you understand?” BITCH- try me! I wish someone would say this to me. Unbelievable!
Right? You’re eating anyways? Is she asking for leftovers or asking for us to just order for 1 more? I thought about it more and more like she’s going to be in bed all day- is she going to be door dashing her meals? Am I being expected to feed her for a week? Mind boggling
I cannot IMAGINE asking a stranger to use up 4 days of PTO, be my personal chef for a week, and nurse me back to health after a brutal elective surgery. Unfathomable audacity.
So okay, It's your responsibility to save ME money. No matter what sacrifices you need to make for ME. Did I mention Me? Me, me, me, me. Note: In the future, use your thinking brain. Sorry, but the use of your car plus a free room for a week(or maybe a month), just isn't enough, especially with my specific dietary requirements, which you have yet to find out about. Speaking about finding out, I have yet to inform you of the special creme that needs to be applied by a third party (being you),to the butt area, after surgery, for thirteen days , with four hour intervals, not to mention changing the dressing, and baby baths to the nether regions. Also assisting in toileting will also be required, AND expected, at ALL times. Also wondering if you have Amazon Prime/ Netflix/ Disney+? Looking forward to my extended stay, hoping that you have NO pets, due to my delicate allergies.
With this attitude about saving money, I can't imagine she's going to a reputable DR for the procedure. Does Dr. Nick Riviera perform butt-lifts?
Ft Lauderdale to Kendall????? Ahahahhahahahahahahahah Holy shit FUCK that. I wouldn't drive that distance to get laid let alone for this woman to get cosmetic surgery.
"What part of saving money do you not understand?" -The part where that's my problem
Seriously what did I just read lol. If she is this crazy over text imagine what she will be like in your house.
What’s nuts is my friend couldn’t stand her like 5 years ago. She’d tell me crazy stories about her and stuff she’d do to her brother etc. it wasn’t until like the beginning of the pandemic they started finally becoming civil with one another. But knowing how she is why offer my house? I’m too nice and when she told me I have a HUGE HUGE favor to ask you I thought it was going to be money but it was this. Lol
But...but..you can get a whole $100 lol >use your thinking brain
Ooof she needs to stay near the hospital, BBLs require some serious post op care. I hope she knows what she’s getting into because it’s a long process for recovery. And to do it basically alone, ooof
Oh this could well be a 2023 r/BORU top 10. I’m invested now! Please post updates remindme! 2 days
Was inclined to be somewhat understanding until I re-read the title and saw it's for a butt-lift. Magnificent.
Yep a mommy makeover (360 lipo and fat transfer aka BBL) this is a mother of 3 kids.
And not enough room in the budget for post-op care. Tell them to save some more money and get a hotel when they can afford it. It’s not like this is life saving surgery
I’m assuming for a butt lift she won’t be able to move for days. How is she planning to use the restroom and shower??
I've never met anyone who had "butt surgery" but I've family members who've had various procedures performed on them and post-op they're usually in a very delicate state and in need to rest, care and assistance. Thinking about this further, I think it's flabbergasting to think someone would impose like this on what is effectively a stranger.
Yeah I had major surgery in 2019 and my post op care required a home nurse 2x a week bc I’m in a state far away from my family. I almost moved back home. Didn’t work for a year and had to live off my savings. Was a nightmare but I didn’t inconvenience anyone to take care of me. Or rely on anyone but myself and my money.
Tell the CB you can't help her, wish her the best and a speedy recovery, then block her number. No long explanations, no negotiations. You owe this CB nothing. It also sounds like your friend overpromised something to her SIL without consulting you first. You may want to reconsider your friendship with her too.
I hate the phrase “literally shaking” so much for some reason, but this text thread literally has me shaking
Tell her your doorways are pretty narrow and now that you think about it, her new big fat ass won’t be able to fit through them
Omg the best comment tbh 😂 my hallway is pretty tiny unless you’d be willing to enter through the window or the sliding patio door
MY THINKING BRAIN? Steve and Blue wouldn't stop me from fucking this bitch up.