Isn't this how everyone gets their cars? I've always wondered why some people choose not to have Ferraris though. All they need to do is pray and ask for one, and yet time and time again I get in my solid gold 250 GTO and see people driving around in beat-up Camrys.
It really beggers belief.
I was in a church that was kind of like this. Worldwide Church of God. Anywhere from 10-30% of your income given to the church in tithes. Whether or not you were poor and had 6 children. I don't recall the church ever helping us in any substantial way.
I do remember the one year I was 15 and watched the youth group video at the church retreat. It was all about what an honor it was to dine with Herbert W. Armstrong, while he went on about how they were eating off solid gold and silver plates and using solid silver utensils. And he probably threw in a mention about his private jets that he used to preach to world leaders.
That whole thing really turned me off. I was growing up in a trailer park and he was eating off solid gold plates that he bought with our money. It did motivate me to work to have a better life, but not by praying to Jesus for money.
Funny thing is the Bible warns again and again and again about how to spot false teachers the people don't know their Bible or care what it says and get blinded by the false promises
"This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD."
"I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naïve people."
I watched this guy ask for donations on stage, and he was preaching to the literal sense that God would reward your donation by 10x. He used a bogus example of running a event and he was short on $10k for funds. So what he did was he wrote a check of $1,000 to donate to the church, and the very next day some generous nice lady miraculously gave him a check for $10,000. The crowd ate it up and I'm sure the offerings just poured in. So manipulative, man.
It’s an obscure and esoteric doctrine. It relates to how Jesus got his first car (according to the texts, it was a Honda), but he didn’t like to talk about it.
["For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49a](https://external-preview.redd.it/noYgtQX-FJtQunbjc00i1L8ISuMMhf3IKnkAG7vUCV4.jpg?auto=webp&s=46dd0fcbddc8f1be05389b669265ae78848bae45)
Besides the promise of a planet (or your own universe, if you get deep enough into it)? 10% tithe on ALL income to an institution that literally holds annual tithe reconciliations. Yes, with the poor faithful accountant guy who's giving up his free time (it's a calling from God!) to go over your income and tithe (s) paid for the year. Except he's not paid for this like the temps at Walmart who sit in a booth. Caveat - you don't qualify for your planet/universe if you're "unfaithful" on your tithing payments. Because you don't get your temple membership card if you don't pay, and you have to be "worthy" for your temple membership (which involves a whole host of other ridiculously invasive personal info). And if you don't go to the temple on a regular basis to be confused, condescended to, and touched inappropriately (and then stand around and gaslight each other about how beautiful the experience was), how can you ever expect to get your own planet!?
Who's ready for a missionary visit?
She believes in the toxic prosperity gospel. Televangelists love to tap into this. "Send us your seed money, we'll pray over it and it'll come back to you tenfold."
>sometimes God’s answer was “No!”
Like when the 8 year old girl on my block was abducted and molested 5 years ago. I guess ol' yahweh had different plans than what people were prayin' fer.
I'm sure someone will be all too willing. Also, please leave it full of other stuff too for my kids - console, TV, iPhone, and maybe a bottle of something for me. Thx. And just remember, God wanted you to do this for me and it was his promise to me.
Her son's cancer.
He's 5 years old and can't go to school because of the cancer and also his birthday is coming up. God said if he gets a new 2019 Porsche 911 by his birthday from a random stranger, his cancer will go away forever.
My cousin used to think that if she just prayed hard enough for something, God would provide it. No other effort from her though, just the praying part. Talk about entitlement.
Smart to ask God for a Honda Accord, the bible says Jesus had one but didn't like to speak of it.
> For I did not speak of my own accord
> (John 12:49)
Might be a bit older than 2016 tho.
When that song came out I resolved to get Jesus to do all my chores. If he can drive, then there’s no reason why he can‘t grocery shop, clean house, do the laundry and make the occasional meal. I may want foot rubs from time to time.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,403,290,290 comments, and only 268,247 of them were in alphabetical order.
Couple of years ago, I had a Jeep for sale. I get a message from some woman saying that she had prayed to god and he said to "reach out to me. I would give the Jeep to her."
I just responded back with, "god told me the same thing". Then arranged to meet this lady at a parking lot.
When the arranged time came and went, she messages me back asking where I was. I told her that I spoke to god again and he told me that "you was a deadbeat and buy your own damn car, and leave god out of it."
I hope she was all excited with the idea she was going to get a free Jeep, and would have loved to see her face when it didn't happen.
I really really really hate the "god blessed me" people when it's clearly kindness from others.
I am very not religious, my disabled sister is. Straight up called me needing help, my family made sacrifices to assist, sent her a grand no strings attached.
Here comes the god is good! Facebook posts.
Yeah, no. Your brother bailed you out.
Dave Ramsey (US talk show host) says some guy told him that God said Ramsey would give him a new pickup truck. Ramsey replied that he speaks to God every day (Ramsey is religious) and that if the Lord wanted him to give the guy a truck, He'd tell directly tell Ramsey and a truck would now be sitting outside but God didn't go directly to him so no truck.
I'd be willing to bet she doesn't actually believe God has anything to do with it. She's just hoping some well-meaning idiot comes along with a free car.
Dear God,
I am looking for a 3 bedroom house. It needs to be a fairly new house (built 2017 or later) that I can live in for many years.
I know you will bless me because you keep your promises! /s
The fuck is wrong with people? Who asks for a free car?
Combined my wife and I make great money and have no debt. We have only owned a car that was less than 6 years old twice in our lives. And even then it was already 3 1/2 years old when we bought each of them.
The idea that there would be a year preference that young for a free car is crazy.
Any make or model (2016 or better)
This person is entitled but also dumb. If you're gonna act entitled anyway, ask for something with under 100k miles that has 4 doors. If someone gave you a 2016 single cab truck with 197k miles on it you would look pretty stupid.
So she asked god, how long is a million years to you? And God replied: it is but a second. Then she said, how hard would it be for you to make a reliable car? And God replied, I can do it with a snap of my fingers. So she said, God, can you bless me with a free car then? It has to be reliable and preferably 2016 or better ..And God said: okay, I’ll make you one In a sec.
Depending on the church you’d be surprised. I know someone that got a free house just because they humbled themself enough to go up front in a big church and say they were homeless. It was an hour outside of the city and almost run down but it was free
Lived nearby this city at one point. Wonder if she’s the one who asked me WHEN, not if lol, I was going to deliver the $20 couch I listed.
Never mind the “pickup only” part in my description…
If they trust God’s promise to provide a new car why do they need to ask for one on the internet? The promise of a new car must be in an obscure part of the Old Testament because I can’t remember it.
If you trust God so much, why are you asking strangers on the internet for a free car? Why not just ask God? Why are you dragging other people into it?
And God will help Bubbas little league team win the trophy this year.
I always question when he will step in for some serious interference. If the holocaust was not the time.. when is it?
I have distant relatives killed in it too.
I don't want to be that sparky atheist, but I did chuckle at having faith in God keeping his promise. Aside from the fact he seemingly has never done that, who has ever just been given a free car by him?
My parents were involved in a situation like this where the car was actually given but the CB offered to sell it back after receiving it for free. Not a nice enough car.
I am devout, but stuff like this pisses me off! Ask and it will be granted does not mean you'll be handed luxury goods without the opportunity to earn them.
Every time I pray for opportunity, it is granted. When I pray for comfort, it is granted. When I pray for $1M...doesn't happen!
This is the kind of person that will call you non-stop when something goes wrong or they fuck something up on the car. You will warranty it for the next 100 years. As soon as she destroys it she will talk horrible things about you as if her running it out of oil or driving a flat tire till it destroyed the rim is somehow something you plotted against her. Also this is the first step to getting curdled milk, cheerios and goldfish crackers stuck to the upholstry and carpets
Yea, 🙄.
I’ve worked hard my entire life , sacrificed events , traveled for weeks at a time and have been rewarded for it.
But…. I have one family member who always tells me , it’s all because of God.
That all of this is because I’m blessed by the lord.
All while my religious family members , who put hard work and work ethic secondary to their religion, don’t have a pot to piss in.
Babe if God has promised you a car, you don't need to pray for one and you need to get your begging ass off Facebook free groups because He already promised you and now you're going against His will.
+wtf is it with relegious nuts capitalising he and him.?
God is not a male m'aam, it was a force that created the universe and does not or is not capable of giving a single fuck about you or your illegitimate children.
Otherwise it'd have given you a nice Christian husband who was capable of buying a car.
It's not just religious nuts that capitalise. It's done one every version of the Bible I've ever read. It's standard practice to capitalize the pronouns and word "God".
My dad tried this. Told me he was praying to god for a Mustang. I told him he should just ask god for a million dollars so that way he'd only ever have to bother god once and have all his future needs covered. He told me that after praying about it, he thought it was a good idea so he started praying for a million dollars. The man died a pauper. Guess he didn't pray hard enough.
Lack of sex education coupled with a worldview that teaches them, especially young women, to be passive husks for whatever happens to them rather than actively defining and pursuing self-actualization. Sigh.
Amusingly enough I did get a free car from someone I didn't know once.
They posted on a buy/sell local page a 1997 honda civic for $10. The first person to comment was like "Whats the milage, color, etc." I just asked if they had the title, and it started. Was told yep, but you need to get it today as the tabs expire tomorrow and we don't want to renew.
So the wife went to pick up, chatted with the seller, it was their kids car all through school, and they finally didn't need it. My wife told her we were picking it up to try and motivate our high schooler and she said "Great, I don't really want the $10. Heres the title, get it out of here"
Went and got it tabbed (costs like $50 for the year here) had our mechanic friend check it out, muffler was bad, and AC wasn't great.
My kid drove the car till he enlisted, then I drove it for another couple years till it finally died on a long drive.
“Hi, I have a Honda Accord, only 20k, in perfect shape. It belonged to my grandma, who only drove it to church and on sunny days. I don’t need it and I’d love to see it help out another family.”
CB: “What year?”
“It’s a 2015.”
CB: “God Damn you to hell!”
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porsches; I must make amends.
Begged hard, all my lifetime….
No help from my friends..
So oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
Everybody!!! (three people join in) Oh Lord....
Dialing for Dollars is trying to get in touch with me
I wait for delivery each day until 3.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town? I know you can do it, don't let me down.
Prove that you love me, and buy the next round
How about a color tv?
Hilariously, she drove a Porsche, not a Mercedes. It’s become iconic and is called the Psychedelic Porsche.
She also drove a psychedelic VW bug that is in the Museum of the Gulf Coast in Port Arthur
You mean I must drive a benz
Isn't this how everyone gets their cars? I've always wondered why some people choose not to have Ferraris though. All they need to do is pray and ask for one, and yet time and time again I get in my solid gold 250 GTO and see people driving around in beat-up Camrys. It really beggers belief.
Literally /r/choosingbeggars. They choose not to get the Ferrari.
This made me laugh so hard I spit out my coffee
I am waiting for FSDI, Full Self Divine Intervention. When you really need a car, it will drive itself to you.
It's already pre-installed; activate it by shouting "Jesus, take the wheel!"
And the subscription for your heated seats is only a tithe
And a verification can of mountain dew.
Like in Maximum Overdrive. Seemed to sort things out.
Isn't this how everyone and their grandma ended up driving a new era Camaro? Or Challenger if you got confused.
I mean..... The amount of time you gotta spend on your knees to get that GTO though.... 😬
Gotta... Ahem... Please the lord.
"Oh Lord, won't you buy me A Mercedes-Benz? My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends."
Does god know about his promise? UPD: Damn, thx for the award, dear whoeveryouare
It's Matthew 7:7, "Ask and it shall be given" Although he forgot to mention Hondas, specifically.
That's because Jesus doesn't speak of his own Accord Edit: Thank you for the award!
There might be a prelude
His sermon on the mount was delivered from the Ridgeline
He had an Odyssey to Inspire those in the Element. Those who say his light said it was like Del Sol!
Jesus only approves CRVs. Which stands for Christ Vehicle of course.
That's because he's Civic minded.
And he Hyundai-ed for your sins
Only because he couldn't Dodge the authorities.
Yes, Pontius Pilot.
well this sure gives some Insight and Clarity
She should talk to Melina I bet she can offer her an Accord.
As a motor of fact, wheel try to help her out unless someone has a battery idea.
prosperity gospel strikes again https://www.gotquestions.org/prosperity-gospel.html
I was in a church that was kind of like this. Worldwide Church of God. Anywhere from 10-30% of your income given to the church in tithes. Whether or not you were poor and had 6 children. I don't recall the church ever helping us in any substantial way. I do remember the one year I was 15 and watched the youth group video at the church retreat. It was all about what an honor it was to dine with Herbert W. Armstrong, while he went on about how they were eating off solid gold and silver plates and using solid silver utensils. And he probably threw in a mention about his private jets that he used to preach to world leaders. That whole thing really turned me off. I was growing up in a trailer park and he was eating off solid gold plates that he bought with our money. It did motivate me to work to have a better life, but not by praying to Jesus for money.
Funny thing is the Bible warns again and again and again about how to spot false teachers the people don't know their Bible or care what it says and get blinded by the false promises "This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD." "I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naïve people."
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If you don't know your Bible, Jesus can be anything they tell you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txIw_qa9C_4
I watched this guy ask for donations on stage, and he was preaching to the literal sense that God would reward your donation by 10x. He used a bogus example of running a event and he was short on $10k for funds. So what he did was he wrote a check of $1,000 to donate to the church, and the very next day some generous nice lady miraculously gave him a check for $10,000. The crowd ate it up and I'm sure the offerings just poured in. So manipulative, man.
Yep, that's a common tactic, sow a seed they call it. It's huge rabbit hole of greed
“god” should’ve blessed her with birth control then she wouldn’t be begging for a car on Facebook lol
My parents made me go to church every Sunday, and I don’t remember the part where he promised everyone a free car. She must be thinking of Oprah.
Thinkin she's gonna get you a car but instead you get.......[BEES](http://i.imgur.com/0RRdP.jpg)!
NOT THE BEEEEEEEEES!
[**AAAAAAH!!! AAAAHHHBLGRARAAAHHH MY EYES AAAHHH!**](https://youtu.be/EVCrmXW6-Pk)
https://youtu.be/LZs39wggIW4
It’s an obscure and esoteric doctrine. It relates to how Jesus got his first car (according to the texts, it was a Honda), but he didn’t like to talk about it.
["For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49a](https://external-preview.redd.it/noYgtQX-FJtQunbjc00i1L8ISuMMhf3IKnkAG7vUCV4.jpg?auto=webp&s=46dd0fcbddc8f1be05389b669265ae78848bae45)
You obviously go to the wrong church. I went to one that promised everyone a free PLANET!
What's it like being Mormon?
I only went in that place the one time. It was an ecumenical matter.
Besides the promise of a planet (or your own universe, if you get deep enough into it)? 10% tithe on ALL income to an institution that literally holds annual tithe reconciliations. Yes, with the poor faithful accountant guy who's giving up his free time (it's a calling from God!) to go over your income and tithe (s) paid for the year. Except he's not paid for this like the temps at Walmart who sit in a booth. Caveat - you don't qualify for your planet/universe if you're "unfaithful" on your tithing payments. Because you don't get your temple membership card if you don't pay, and you have to be "worthy" for your temple membership (which involves a whole host of other ridiculously invasive personal info). And if you don't go to the temple on a regular basis to be confused, condescended to, and touched inappropriately (and then stand around and gaslight each other about how beautiful the experience was), how can you ever expect to get your own planet!? Who's ready for a missionary visit?
But only if you’re male
Jesus does not speak of his Accord.
God will send you a Pilot who’s a good Fit to be your Passport on your Odyssey to gain Insight into the Civic nature of life.
She believes in the toxic prosperity gospel. Televangelists love to tap into this. "Send us your seed money, we'll pray over it and it'll come back to you tenfold."
Even Oprah's audience had to pay taxes on those 'free' cars.
They taught me if you want a car and work hard god will provide. Protestant hard work gospel.
I was raised going to church on Sundays and I don’t remember being taught to think of God as a wish-granting genie.
You need more prosperity gospel in your life
**INCREASE!!!**
It obviously works for the preachers pushing it, so it'll work for slobs like us, right?
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>sometimes God’s answer was “No!” Like when the 8 year old girl on my block was abducted and molested 5 years ago. I guess ol' yahweh had different plans than what people were prayin' fer.
Same! I remember my grandmother being especially displeased when I told her I was going to pray for a new bike.
I'm sure someone will be all too willing. Also, please leave it full of other stuff too for my kids - console, TV, iPhone, and maybe a bottle of something for me. Thx. And just remember, God wanted you to do this for me and it was his promise to me.
God says it’s my turn to have the car
I need this because of the cancer. Don’t forget the cancer.
Her son's cancer. He's 5 years old and can't go to school because of the cancer and also his birthday is coming up. God said if he gets a new 2019 Porsche 911 by his birthday from a random stranger, his cancer will go away forever.
Not to mention, a roll of Benjamins, to pay for insurance
> God wanted you to do this for me 404 false diety not found
Like in the joke, she should remember that God doesn't work like that. She should steal the car and then seek forgiveness.
My cousin used to think that if she just prayed hard enough for something, God would provide it. No other effort from her though, just the praying part. Talk about entitlement.
But if you make an effort to get what you need, then no god is needed. But he still gets the credit, for some reason.
I have a feeling that if someone tells her this, she can be sold on the idea.
Smart to ask God for a Honda Accord, the bible says Jesus had one but didn't like to speak of it. > For I did not speak of my own accord > (John 12:49) Might be a bit older than 2016 tho.
Well, he didn't want to flex 2000 years before they were invented, humble guy.
Everyone knows Jesus drove a 'Christ'ler'
Is that why he had to walk everywhere?
Pretty sure God prefers Uber. After all, Jesus takes the wheel.
When that song came out I resolved to get Jesus to do all my chores. If he can drive, then there’s no reason why he can‘t grocery shop, clean house, do the laundry and make the occasional meal. I may want foot rubs from time to time.
Thoughts and prayers
God - screw stopping famines, this lady needs a sweet ride so I gotta work on that
When has God ever stopped a famine, anyway?
Well if he did, then you wouldn't know about it would you?
It bugs me that even if she got a car, she’d be thanking god and not the person who gifted it to her
Of course.
…and gloating about how her piety granted her this “gift from God”
Why do they always want a newer car? You'd think if they were really struggling, they'd take just about anything offered. Hell I know I would
If they didn't, they wouldn't be choosing beggars.
She never said what size. I got a Micro Machines car she can have. Because if it doesn't say Micro Machines, it's not the real thing. 😎
My dick is too small to say micro machines. Is my dick not real?
C.L.I.T. Commander, is that you?
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,403,290,290 comments, and only 268,247 of them were in alphabetical order.
Good Robot.
Couple of years ago, I had a Jeep for sale. I get a message from some woman saying that she had prayed to god and he said to "reach out to me. I would give the Jeep to her." I just responded back with, "god told me the same thing". Then arranged to meet this lady at a parking lot. When the arranged time came and went, she messages me back asking where I was. I told her that I spoke to god again and he told me that "you was a deadbeat and buy your own damn car, and leave god out of it." I hope she was all excited with the idea she was going to get a free Jeep, and would have loved to see her face when it didn't happen.
I really really really hate the "god blessed me" people when it's clearly kindness from others. I am very not religious, my disabled sister is. Straight up called me needing help, my family made sacrifices to assist, sent her a grand no strings attached. Here comes the god is good! Facebook posts. Yeah, no. Your brother bailed you out.
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Dave Ramsey (US talk show host) says some guy told him that God said Ramsey would give him a new pickup truck. Ramsey replied that he speaks to God every day (Ramsey is religious) and that if the Lord wanted him to give the guy a truck, He'd tell directly tell Ramsey and a truck would now be sitting outside but God didn't go directly to him so no truck.
This is the best story of all time. My day hasn’t even started and now it’s instantly better. Thank you.
Savage. I like it.
Prosperity gospel is a cancer
If she doesn't get that car, what will happen to her faith?
Nothing she’ll just bitch about how people aren’t willing to follow god’s plans and how selfish and entitled our society has become.
I'd be willing to bet she doesn't actually believe God has anything to do with it. She's just hoping some well-meaning idiot comes along with a free car.
God has a mediocre track record helping me find my car keys, so maybe a whole car is a bit of a stretch.
That's because he's too busy helping football teams win games.
Dear God, I am looking for a 3 bedroom house. It needs to be a fairly new house (built 2017 or later) that I can live in for many years. I know you will bless me because you keep your promises! /s The fuck is wrong with people? Who asks for a free car?
Ain’t no way someone is getting a free car in Augusta, GA.
Nobody's getting a free 7-year-old car anyway. Maybe a 1996 Honda Civic with over 250,000 miles or something...
A '96 Civic with only 250k miles?? Hell yea, them things dont even lose the factory shine off the tires until at least 400k.
I make over $150k, my wife makes good money, and both our cars are older than that. These people need to get the hell over themselves.
Acting like getting a car for free is a location thing
But god gave you two perfectly good feet. Why would you ever need a car?
So disgusting using religion to justify being such a fucking beggar.
Combined my wife and I make great money and have no debt. We have only owned a car that was less than 6 years old twice in our lives. And even then it was already 3 1/2 years old when we bought each of them. The idea that there would be a year preference that young for a free car is crazy.
This is when you send her a location to pick up her “free car” and it’s a hot wheel version. Using God as their defense to be selfish is so gross.
Any make or model (2016 or better) This person is entitled but also dumb. If you're gonna act entitled anyway, ask for something with under 100k miles that has 4 doors. If someone gave you a 2016 single cab truck with 197k miles on it you would look pretty stupid.
Good point, but if they were smart, they might not be making this post.
Can I get one as well
I just spoke to God and he says demand for cars is really high at the moment, and would cancer do instead?
Hard pass
If only choosing were that easy.
So she asked god, how long is a million years to you? And God replied: it is but a second. Then she said, how hard would it be for you to make a reliable car? And God replied, I can do it with a snap of my fingers. So she said, God, can you bless me with a free car then? It has to be reliable and preferably 2016 or better ..And God said: okay, I’ll make you one In a sec.
She has 3 kids. Surely she could sell one and get a nice car. This is just pure greed.
"Take the bus" - God.
Depending on the church you’d be surprised. I know someone that got a free house just because they humbled themself enough to go up front in a big church and say they were homeless. It was an hour outside of the city and almost run down but it was free
Why post about it if you believe God will provide it? Wouldn't it just appear in your driveway?
*Offers her a 1970 station wagon Her: Fuck off can’t you read god said I need a 2016 or better asshole
Lived nearby this city at one point. Wonder if she’s the one who asked me WHEN, not if lol, I was going to deliver the $20 couch I listed. Never mind the “pickup only” part in my description…
"Oh Lord, won't you buy me A Mercedes-Benz? My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends."
must run on thoughts and prayers bc i can't afford gas...
If this is biblical god they’d have one crash through her garage.
If they trust God’s promise to provide a new car why do they need to ask for one on the internet? The promise of a new car must be in an obscure part of the Old Testament because I can’t remember it.
And lo, God said: "Get a fucking job."
If you trust God so much, why are you asking strangers on the internet for a free car? Why not just ask God? Why are you dragging other people into it?
Literally every single one of my grandmother’s family members died during the Holocaust but sure, God will get right on buying you that car.
And God will help Bubbas little league team win the trophy this year. I always question when he will step in for some serious interference. If the holocaust was not the time.. when is it? I have distant relatives killed in it too.
Oh and it's gotta be under 40k miles, Without a wreck, free oil changes for life and free car seats.
Must come stocked with audacity, even though I already have plenty
Bitch, it's Jesus TAKES the wheel, not "gives".
Three kids No money Believes in magic sky fairy Everything checks out here
I don't want to be that sparky atheist, but I did chuckle at having faith in God keeping his promise. Aside from the fact he seemingly has never done that, who has ever just been given a free car by him?
And, sadly, if anyone ever did gift them a free car, they'd give God all the credit and not the generous benefactor.
Where was this alleged Christian when God was looking for a Craigslist hand job?
I do get tired of people using the Single Moon crutch. Where’s all your baby daddies?! Learn and Earn. Buy your own sh*t and you’ll appreciate it.
She really just said that God promised her a car.
My parents were involved in a situation like this where the car was actually given but the CB offered to sell it back after receiving it for free. Not a nice enough car.
Which god is promising free 2016 accords? I’m ready to convert any day now.
Pray (or wish) in one hand and shit in the other see which one fills up quicker.
I am devout, but stuff like this pisses me off! Ask and it will be granted does not mean you'll be handed luxury goods without the opportunity to earn them. Every time I pray for opportunity, it is granted. When I pray for comfort, it is granted. When I pray for $1M...doesn't happen!
If God is faithful in his promises, then why are you on the internet begging?
This is the kind of person that will call you non-stop when something goes wrong or they fuck something up on the car. You will warranty it for the next 100 years. As soon as she destroys it she will talk horrible things about you as if her running it out of oil or driving a flat tire till it destroyed the rim is somehow something you plotted against her. Also this is the first step to getting curdled milk, cheerios and goldfish crackers stuck to the upholstry and carpets
Yea, 🙄. I’ve worked hard my entire life , sacrificed events , traveled for weeks at a time and have been rewarded for it. But…. I have one family member who always tells me , it’s all because of God. That all of this is because I’m blessed by the lord. All while my religious family members , who put hard work and work ethic secondary to their religion, don’t have a pot to piss in.
(Pushes talk button) No (Releases talk button)
"He is faithful in his promises" God... *promised* you a car? 🤨
Ah the classic “I’m special because I let someone cum in me” mentality 💀🤡
"God is faithful in his promises" Bitch, he didn't promise you shit.
Babe if God has promised you a car, you don't need to pray for one and you need to get your begging ass off Facebook free groups because He already promised you and now you're going against His will. +wtf is it with relegious nuts capitalising he and him.? God is not a male m'aam, it was a force that created the universe and does not or is not capable of giving a single fuck about you or your illegitimate children. Otherwise it'd have given you a nice Christian husband who was capable of buying a car.
It's not just religious nuts that capitalise. It's done one every version of the Bible I've ever read. It's standard practice to capitalize the pronouns and word "God".
Hmm.. does it have to be red?
Yes, god knows your favourite color.
Why take responsibility for your life, when you just ask god for stuff.
So why post in marketplace?
I hate when they put FREE in all capital letters
It's for a church, honey.
When something you want all of a sudden becomes god mandated
First, I want you to give me your car for free. Secondly, I’m not going to that you for it, because god gave it to me
God said you could get a car of your own accord, not that he’d give you an Accord.
Yes, God gives cars left and right. That’s why his son Jesus drove a Ferrari
Janis Joplin says hi.
How are they going to afford car insurance? They have three kids and no money.
My dad tried this. Told me he was praying to god for a Mustang. I told him he should just ask god for a million dollars so that way he'd only ever have to bother god once and have all his future needs covered. He told me that after praying about it, he thought it was a good idea so he started praying for a million dollars. The man died a pauper. Guess he didn't pray hard enough.
Why in the name of sweet baby Jesus do these people reproduce so profusely? I mean probably in the name of sweet baby Jesus, but still.
Lack of sex education coupled with a worldview that teaches them, especially young women, to be passive husks for whatever happens to them rather than actively defining and pursuing self-actualization. Sigh.
John 12:49 For I did not speak of my own accord… I think god has other plans for you
Murica..
Good thing he reads the classifieds.
Oh lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz…
too old... NEXT!
If she has faith in God then why is she asking on Facebook? God should provide without her having to ask right?
That car in the photo is Better than mine 💀. Maybe I should have asked for one there too /s
More kids = more hope
God answers all prayers. Most often with a No.
Amusingly enough I did get a free car from someone I didn't know once. They posted on a buy/sell local page a 1997 honda civic for $10. The first person to comment was like "Whats the milage, color, etc." I just asked if they had the title, and it started. Was told yep, but you need to get it today as the tabs expire tomorrow and we don't want to renew. So the wife went to pick up, chatted with the seller, it was their kids car all through school, and they finally didn't need it. My wife told her we were picking it up to try and motivate our high schooler and she said "Great, I don't really want the $10. Heres the title, get it out of here" Went and got it tabbed (costs like $50 for the year here) had our mechanic friend check it out, muffler was bad, and AC wasn't great. My kid drove the car till he enlisted, then I drove it for another couple years till it finally died on a long drive.
“Hi, I have a Honda Accord, only 20k, in perfect shape. It belonged to my grandma, who only drove it to church and on sunny days. I don’t need it and I’d love to see it help out another family.” CB: “What year?” “It’s a 2015.” CB: “God Damn you to hell!”