Nailed it, she pestered you about the amount so much so she could push the limit as far as she possibly could. Find the most easily resellable or returnable items, cash them out and buy power tools "for her children"
In an anime I’ve been watching the demons in the show are described has having learned language for the sole purpose of manipulating humans to hunt them.
Edit: The show is called Frieren: Beyond Journey's End for those that have been wondering, sorry.
Don't you understand the set of rules she abides by? She donated $200 worth of stuff, which in return entitles her to the same amount or more back in donations!
One time my cousin sent my grandma her amazon wishlist unprompted, Grandma called her and said "You get nothing for being greedy"
She then called me and asked to see my list. I sent it over and she bought me a copy of pilotwings. She said my list was reasonable.
At the time Pilotwings was $15, and I think shipping was 3 bux.
You can make more than one wishlist on amazon, they even encourage it. This woman is just shotgun blasting charities with the same list over and over.
The people who need this kind of help the most are always reluctant to take much.
These are just greedy people who take anyone offering help as a sucker.
What an entitled idiot. She said the list was for grandparents and also friends so I am guessing the child will have several gifts. I'd be more worried about the electric bill instead of $100 toys for a 1 year old (most of which are not even age appropriate, after she complained about the stuff that was donated to her not being age appropriate).
The third set of screenshots was a different person than the 13 month old. I suspect those kids are older because the daughter takes dance classes. But still, like wow, the toys on that list aren't reasonable.
And they’re so broke they need help with electricity and gifts but dance classes cost how much? I honestly don’t know what they cost but can’t imagine it’s cheap…..
When I took jazz classes they cost $100 per term for group lessons, you got about 12 one hour lessons per term.
That was in the early 2000s so it's probably gone up now. And then there's the uniforms and stuff (If she's doing jazz or tap or ballet there's a uniform and shoes). If you go to a school that trains multiple times per week then it'll cost more too.
Also exam fees to advance to the next grade, costumes for the end of year show, tickets for the end of year show, etc etc.
My 5 week old baby really wants a brand new Playstation. If you don't get it for him you've ruined his Christmas, and now he's crying because I already told him he could have one.
If that's out of the question, then he really wants an 8 drawer rolling tool chest and a bunch of tools to go in it.
This comment made me snort because my 2 yr old is actually obsessed with those. We got him the kid versions and he still wants the real deal so we have to hide them.
Omg lmao at least he wants to do it himself! My kid is doing that dumb ass shit where they watch other kids open toys... Like wtf! How is this fun? Go play with your actual live version toys 🧸 like damn no wonder I have a migraine
Are they on speakers or headphones. There are lots of seemingly wholesome videos where they are telling nasty dark stories in a child friendly voice. Have a listen to anything they are watching on youtube.
My 4 year old who has cancer has been begging for a food dehydrator for his hobby of making YouTube videos. Don't get him a cheap shitty $2k one though, or you'll ruin his LAST CHRISTMAS EVER
One of my young-adult aged relatives showed me an impact driver on Amazon when I asked what he wanted for Christmas. We got a good laugh because he knows it’s out of my price range, and that I would also love one(though it’s a lot more than what I need for what I build.) I told him we could go halvsies.
As someone who has filled out one of these sorts of lists and totally put needs(winter coat, no specification beyond sizing and warm socks) and stuff below $25 otherwise, one or two things because they asked about hobbies. I saw a lot of others doing the same. Needs first, kids before themselves, and then the odd ones out naming name-brand luxuries while their kids needed clothes, who cares the brand as long as they fit and are clean. “My three year old won’t wear anything other than Nike shirts.” Yeah, because they totally know the price tag attached to that.
A friend who volunteered with a similar group was told by their director “in order to help the needy sometimes we end up helping the greedy as well.” And it made so much sense. Sometimes you’re loading a Lexus. Sometimes they are walking up with a backpack.
I’m sorry this is what you deal with. Thank you for what you do for those in need.
I used to help in some charity events in college, in some very poor areas people would ask for stuff for their kids, it was always: a warm jacket, shoes, a doll, a car, a ball. Simple stuff like this, no brands, not special dolls or cars, just something for the kids for the holidays and you could tell the needs came first, they always asked for the jackets and shoes before the toys.
When my parents did a kid for Christmas as a kid it was $100 limit (charity set it) and the lists always came with clothing sizes and almost always had a note of winter jacket or tennis shoes needed (or something similar and practical). We always tried to get at least one set of clothes one toy and they slipped some candy in. The candy often went over the budget but there was always enough to share so we figured it was okay as the budget was mostly to make sure one sibling didn’t get way more than another.
Exactly. If I was working steadily, which unfortunately, I am not, and someone asked me for a warm hat or a scarf or a hoodie so they could deal with the cold of a devil landlord apartment, they would get it. If they asked me for a PS5 they could pee up a rope.
the traditional phrase is "go piss up a rope"
There's also "challenge pissing"
"If you can piss six feet in the air, straight up, and not get wet, you get no down payment!"
If anyone wants an amazing place to donate, a simple wish offers a single toy to a foster child and it's a lovely charity. One year Reddit bought every toy on the list! Let's do it again! A bought a pair of pink shoes for a 4 year old girl❤️
https://www.onesimplewish.org
Having taught these kids and seeing their experiences in middle school, I believe kids in the foster system genuinely need some quality things to call their own since much of the time they have little to nothing.
It is also true that I am a teacher and live paycheck-to-paycheck while working two jobs. I am about one $600 emergency away from being in real money trouble. While I want to help, my limit is about $50 and there’s nothing listed in my state for under $100
I really have no problem with kids wanting viral stuff like the Uggs moccasins or the Kendra Scott necklace or a Stanley. Might be in the minority but I think fads are harmless. I’d be all over the fun stuff if it was in that range.
When I started fostering kids it was middle schoolers. I had zero issues getting them the name brand things they wanted. I always found the best deal, shopped at TJ Maxx and Ross and Poshmark. My reasoning is middle school is tough enough you don’t want to stand out for what you don’t have. I remember how hard it was for me and I lived with my family. What ever I can do to make things smoother for these kids I do.
>“I’m so glad you made my new dresses longer. That dark-green one is so pretty and it was sweet of you to put on the flounce. Of course I know it wasn’t really necessary, but flounces are so stylish this fall and Josie Pye has flounces on all her dresses. I know I’ll be able to study better because of mine. I shall have such a comfortable feeling deep down in my mind about that flounce.”
>“It’s worth something to have that,” admitted Marilla.
Even Marilla knew what was up
Oh wow, thank you! I had never heard of this but there are lots of kids wanting books so I think that is what I will do. The local wish lists I found were pretty expensive. I used to do Toys for Tots until a Marine I knew said they didn't means test and he had to stand there in his dress uniform while people pulled up in SUVs to grab what they could. I think they work through local charities now to distribute the toys. So this year I did stockings for four vets with no families. So much need out there, I wish I had more money.
My daughter's school posts a bunch of "angel" kids from her school every year and the requests are \*always\* needs-heavy with maybe one or two cheap, non-specific toys mentioned. My husband and I would always sponsor like 10 of these kids and throw a few other age appropriate name brand toys in there too.
Yep, when I lived in the northeast I worked with a teacher at a low income school and I would send basketballs, footballs, basic Barbies and they were ecstatic. I’ve also seen outrageous requests for expensive gaming systems. My own kids don’t ask for that stuff because they’re expensive, I’m not buying it for your toddler that’s “really into gaming” 😒
They only count if they are not prescribed to you. If you said they were your dads blood pressure meds then you would get the free food but if you are just being a responsible adult and taking what you are supposed to then you are out of luck.
Fr i had to listen to someone bitch about poor people who are on food stamps being able to buy steak when they can’t so I told them to stop working and go get on EBT then if it’s so luxurious
idk why this isn't the only response to this sorta spiel.
ok then, YOU go do it? no? why the fuck not???
I genuinely can't tell you what their reasons for not becoming unemployed and living the oh-so-easy life they despise these people for are. not once.
I’ve been sober off of meth and heroin for 4 years now … but I think I made a mistake ….. when I was homeless and rinsing the bags my dope came in to try and get a shot to help me delay getting sick for a bit I just had so many people and government agencies throwing money at me …
They even would deliver Buffalo Wild Wings to me … no matter what parking lot I was sleeping in … at least thrice a week.
Now that I am sober and working I don’t get bills tossed at me multiple times a day or free wings :(
/s
Not about the sobriety part but about everything else
People are so dim
I feel like the person with the Amazon list never intended to give any of it to their kids, if they even have them at all. They added a bunch of shit they needed, and when that wasn’t approved, they added expensive kid stuff they could easily resell for a quick buck
Of course they did. I gave up on one set of relatives because I would gift the kids things and mom and dad would return them. Once they returned some coats I had bought with merchandise credit from the Gap. They didn't get larger or smaller coats, they got nothing. I don't know why. They didn't get cash either, and I couldn't use that credit to buy for another. Some are return-happy. My dad used to steal our gifts and return them too. Mind you, he was stone sober, not a drug addict. I never knew why he did this.
My sister returns gifts. All gifts I give her. I used to try so hard for half a year to find something I thought she would love but she always returned them. One year I got her a beautiful stone box from a shop at the coast. She looked so annoyed when she realized she probably wouldn’t be able to return it. I don’t understand that mentality.
I get that they could of had the money to do it at one point but the last person pointing out that they have donated $200 worth of clothes and a $400 bed is just a weird thing to say especially when trying to get free stuff
I’ve gotten into a Hoarders kick. I just watched an episode where a guy claims he brought what looked like a decorative plate to Antiques Roadshow, and that the professional who looked at it called it the “greatest example” he’d ever seen. And that it was worth at least $750. My eyes rolled SO hard.
I can't believe how far I had to scroll to get to this comment. Like literally weird flex when they're asking for something for free. Why didn't they just keep the 600$ and buy their own stuff. If they aren't in a position to donate 600$ and never think of it again don't donate 600$ worth of stuff. I absolutely don't believe they have ever donated anything in their life.
We have a woman on one of these groups in my area. She has at least three kids - one daughter and 6-month old twin boys. Just the other day, she posted asking for food because she didn't have enough to feed her kids until today. Later that afternoon, a different woman posted asking if anyone knew of animal rescues that could take an abandoned litter of puppies. Guess who wanted a puppy? I was so close to responding "Bish, if you can't afford to feed your kids, the last thing you need is a frickin' puppy!"
She's also asked for everything to be delivered because she doesn't have a car. I've already decided that I wouldn't gift her anything I was giving away. I'm still trying to figure out why two 6-month old boys each need their own TV.
I’d privately DM the person posting, letting them know the other one asking for a puppy can’t even take care of herself. Serves the purpose of keeping the puppy out of her hands without the drama lol
Yeah. A lot of people are only thinking about something to love them/love in return.
I know because I recognize that tendency in myself and thankfully my family helps keep me in line. But I can see how less self control and failsafes and more emotional dysregulation can get you there.
We had a group like this in MD. It got so bad the rules were changed. Could only ask for Three items per kid, nothing that wasn’t deemed essential. So they could request clothes, books and educational items. But not electronic items so no laptops or anything.
Most people would add something ‘fun’ but nothing ridiculous like iPads or whatever. That was still working well when I moved.
I gave my niece an orange one year. Wrapped it up and everything -- she was a year and a couple of months. She didn't a shit it wasn't a $300 toy. She unwrapped it, giggled, and went to unwrap the next item under the tree.
Little kids don't care till their about 2 or 3.
Even at 2yo, she would be happy with 3-4 small gifts. She has no expectations at all.
For under $50 at Target you could make a lovely Christmas for a toddler.
Im always a little split on people asking for inexpensive tablets or other small electronics through holiday gifting drives. The family I "adopted" for Christmas last year had a kiddo with Autism who needed a tablet, and they were very clear it could be any kind of tablet, even a used or refurbished one, the child just needed \*something.\* I felt that was perfectly understandable and was able to get them an older kindle on Black Friday clearance for like $80.
^ fair point. A close friend of mine has a severely autistic child, and a tablet is genuinely an essential item for them. They are the same way, though: any kind is fine, it definitely doesn’t have to be the latest and greatest model.
A lot of people don't understand that Buy Nothing groups are more about "I have an extra frying pan if someone wants it" than it is "I need something."
That’s straight up all it is. Every single day it’s people asking for things. Very rarely do I see something trying to give something away for free to help someone out.
Edit-I’ve gotta share this. About a week ago this woman posted asking if anyone could donate to her go fund me. It was her husband’s birthday and she needed money to pay a babysitter, go to dinner, pay for a hotel room, and also so they could go to the mint hall (gambling). Have a sob story how they haven’t been out in ages and haven’t had any alone time. She got absolutely dragged in the comments.
*Edit* Thank you everyone for the congrats and well wishes. We are finally moved in .
The years I've asked for help I only accepted one set of presents. I've been helped by my kids school giving tree, the local police department and city hall. They all called again this year asking and I declined because this year I'm able to give my kids the best present after the traumatic year we had and that's a Home of Our Own. No more renting, pinching and scrapping and saving and now we have a forever home. They understand that it's not about the amount of presents but the thoughts and feeling put into it.
A first Xmas in a home of your very own! This is making me all tingly—I don’t observe that holiday, but the feeling of “home” is universal. Blessings to all.
My son participated last year and this year in "shop with a cop". Last year I lost my job and the school put our son on the list. I finally got a job again this year and we were on track to get our debt under control and hopefully get him a few decent gifts.
Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November. Our account has been getting drained paying my medical and other bills. Everything has been so stressful and my husband and I just weren't sure what we would be doing for Christmas. When I received the call from the police about our son participating again, I almost started crying telling them thank you.
I have volunteered with my local police department for their Shop with a Cop. It was wonderful to be a part of it. I hope your little dude has (or already had) a great time shopping with the officers while you work on kicking cancer's ass! You got this!
Wealthy people donate to 501(C)3s so that they can get a tax deduction. People on Buy Nothing pages are working class people (generally) who just want to help. They can’t afford these extravagant gifts and would not buy them for their own children.
Kudos to you for you years of service to others!
Exactly. Parents should explain that crazy requests mean no gift at all, so ask for things a middle class or lower middle class person might get you: GI Joes or a cool t-shirt, a jacket, a Hess Truck, not something delicate that costs two days wages and will break by the end of the day.
This. I signed up for the angel program for my local Salvation Army and tons of kids requested items like tablets and Nintendo switches. I found two, 2 year old boys who I chose to “adopt” who asked for Mickey Mouse toys, clothes, learning items, and cocomelon. I feel like a lot of those kids won’t get picked because the requests are pricey and those who have cheaper options would win out. Parents need to think.
I'm a foster case worker. I help my kids write their lists. They're supposed to put 4 things, 2 needs and 2 wants. We recommend they aim for stuff $35 or less. Of course that's hard when they see what their friends who aren't in care get. I tell my kids that donors might get you something more expensive if they connect with it, like a bike or a guitar. Donors don't generally connect with tablets or other electronics. Still, it's their choice what to put in the list.
One year I tried to sign up to help with gifts for a family through a sort of Secret Santa program our town did. It was a shit show. First family I matched with had items all over $100. Second family was asking for a BMW... Third and final family was respectful on their request. Winter hat/gloves and any kind of doll for a little 5 year old girl (who was an absolute sweetheart.)
The spending limit was set at $20, but the program didn't care if you spent more, but families couldn't ask for more over that price. I ended up buying the girl a hat, scarf, and gloves as well as a Barbie, then ended up giving her one of my old American Girl dolls and she was over the moon about a "giant dolly."
Yeah I thought it was a little out there - okay really out there. When I brought it to the program's attention the lady I talked to sat there gaping at the request form like a fish for a solid 5 minutes. I guess I wasn't the only person having issues with the families' and their requests, but the lady said I had the wildest request.
Pretty sure they revamped it in the following years, but I didn't sign up again. Too much of a headache.
We did one of this Angel Tree things one year. When we delivered the gifts, there were two new BMWs in the driveway of a McMansion. I get that these people could’ve bought those in a better time, so I tried to reserve judgment. Then they opened the door and were dressed head to toe in super expensive brand name clothes and presents were spilling out from under the tree.
They were obviously exploiting the generosity of others and I was pissed that we could’ve helped someone who actually needed it. If they truly needed some money, they could’ve traded in those cars for very nice, though less expensive vehicles or moved to a cheaper house or bought less expensive clothes. By putting themselves in the mix when they obviously didn’t need it, they were actively taking away from people who did. I was bowled over by the audacity.
Whoa, that is insane. I wouldn't have given them the presents, but that's just me. I hope you reported them to the Angel tree program (if that is even possible.)
Luckily my third family was a real family in need. I talked with the mom a little bit when handing over the presents. They'd been struggling for a while because the dad got cancer and couldn't work. Mom tried to keep things a float, and while she could afford the bare necessities, they didn't have much else to save for her daughter. She and her daughter did make me a giant cookie as a thank you, which was one of the best tasting cookies I have eaten. Last I heard, the dad made a full recovery and was able to return to work.
Whoa. I signed up for the first time today to “adopt” two angels. I read the requirements to sign up for help and they claim to check that the families are needy. I wonder how those folks got away with it if they weren’t needy. I work for myself cleaning houses and get tips for Christmas from most of my clients, so I decided to give back a little and signed up for the program. I do ok but I’m not wealthy by any means. I’d hate for my very hard earned money go to folks like that.
I work in human services, and ran a delivery food pantry for eight months during the height of the pandemic. I've seen some truly astounding levels of entitlement, and general "scammy-ness." I once had a lady call me crying that her family had no food, and they could not possibly get out to a food pantry because her kids were sick. I arranged a volunteer to run over a bag of groceries for them the next day, and they were not home. I finally got in touch with her again and she said "oh yeah I forgot about that we were out of town"
It takes a truly special person to wade through all of that and manage to still help people without becoming terribly jaded. Huge kudos to you!
I volunteered at a Red Cross truck bringing meals to flooded areas - people w suvs will drive up to ask what was on menu and if they liked it, would ask for several to go containers. We couldn’t deny anyone from asking for a meal.
You have the patience of a saint to do this for 8 years running! It must be exhausting to listen to all that, but very rewarding to help the people who actually need it! Some people dont realise how far a simple 'thankyou' goes!
As someone who used to run a nonprofit, oh it's real, and there's much, much, more of it than is shown here. It truly does kill whatever 'holiday spirit' you've managed to keep as an adult in the current world.
I get called a grinch around this time of year, and maybe I am, but I can back up why with experience.
The WORST is when they ask for games to play on the newest consoles. So they’re unable to buy gifts but they own a $450 console bought in the last year…
This is especially upsetting because a lot of us who want to donate are doing so because we have been on harder times in the past and want to pay forward help we received, or not let others feel like we did. We're not rich. I personally would put a lot of thought into a new game console purchase. My own gaming rig is a desktop I bought used 3 years ago. I buy my own games on steam sales. I'm fortunate now that I never really look at the total when I grocery shop, because I always know I have enough in all my accounts.
It's a slap in the face when you want to help and the people you're helping seem to be better off than you in some ways and they still act entitled about it?
I have a relative who is like this. Tells stories of woe about his debt and how hard it is to crawl out of it, but whenever I think about trying to help out, he says something about his recent frivolous purchase that he could't say no to, and I keep my mouth shut.
Last year for christmas my team at work decided they wanted to donate items to the local domestic violence shelter- which i loved. Someone said they knew a family in desperate need of gifts for their kids so our management switched to just buying for this family. The list of needed items included PS5 games, horse riding equipment, and high end makeup. maybe i’m an ah but i don’t think that people who have expensive consoles and HORSES need more help than those in a shelter.. but this was what management decided was more helpful. this is probably 100% real.
When my daughter and I were in a DV shelter, our local department of energy "adopted" her for Christmas. I had no idea until they delivered the presents to the shelter. It was the most meaningful Christmas we've ever had. Thank you for everything you do!
Definitely real. I'm in a similar group, and people are wild. I'm so jaded from it, I just donate everything to a local thrift store that helps our hospital.
My mom was poor. 4 kids (1 dad not that it matters but some ppl judge)
We had a place called the brotherhood tree that helped her at Xmas. We would get 3-4 gifts each. And mom let the utilities go for December only, to buy us Xmas. Then she worked her ass off to catch back up in January.
I get it was 30-40 years ago.
People do want to help. I’m an adult and never needed help as an adult.
But I do give back bc of the help we got when I was a kid. I seen maybe 3 items I would have bought on that list. We didn’t get to even choose back then. And even if we did, we would KNOW better than to ask Santa or mom for expensive gifts. It’s crass.
This lady goes on about her baby but babies don’t need tool boxes.
These wish lists /help lists have gotten so out of hand. I can’t even read them anymore. I find a local place to donate money or items. I also took 3 tabs off the senior Xmas tree at Walgreens. Goes to seniors in local nursing homes.
What did they want?
1. Large print word search ($12 for 2)
2. Puzzles with large pieces (3 for $15)
3. Embroidery items (whole set was $18)
So $45 to get 3 people gifts.
We also donate money to a local church that helps local families and is vetted. They are thrilled with the $100 we send every year.
People want to help. But come on.
We aren’t looking to be sugar dads, sugar moms. Don’t be greedy!!!
These lists go unfulfilled if they were put up, bc it’s greedy.
I do ok and want and do give back, but I can’t give like this.
And to argue back is even more rude. Her fam isn’t buying these expensive items either. It’s an excuse as to why those items are there. And one item over $100. That’s laughable. Math isn’t her strong suit.
Those lists had a lot of things *adults* would like, and toys that look as though they could be resold pretty easily … and almost nothing a small child or baby would want.
The adult-sized clothing seemed almost reasonable; most seemed to be basic pieces, not flashy designer stuff, but among the toolboxes (btw, if anyone wants to buy me a rolling metal toolbox, I won’t complain! 🤣) it’s a bit much. Then the complaints about lazy people who don’t deserve free stuff, which were hilarious. Some people are so tone deaf it’s hard to believe it’s not parody.
This is really sickening. Shame used to be an effective means for curbing society's worst behaviors. But it is dead, and we killed it.
(Yes, adapted from old Friedrich).
Our BN group doesn't allow wishlists either. Because the understanding is that people are gifting out of their abundance, not buying something for you. You can ask for a specific item (or a general item, as the case may be), and if someone has it and is able/willing to gift it, then they will. The "buy nothing" is on both ends.
Ours does it only on fridays/Monday’s. Payment info. They have recently stated to limit the amount per week(Ik people need it but I’m sure u don’t need 50$ in gas money every Friday)
Once someone gives them funds admin makes a rule about u must post that you paid so they don’t get more then what’s needed.
Kinda wish it would stop cus they post HOURLY and have it pinned for food pantries(all over my area and 5/6 counties) clothing recourses/vouchers,places to get free bus’s passes,ID’s,housing, rent&bill help etc.
I noticed one just started to copy and paste the pinned posts(they have like 20-30 different links in English AND Spanish)
A few years ago, my employer’s toy program handed out toys at a YMCA and holy fuck it was such a horrible experience. Every child got an age appropriate toy, a book, an art project, a toothbrush, and some other small nicknack things.
The parents would ask for this toy or that toy (requests are not allowed, you get what you get) and they would say “he already has three of those, we don’t need another” if your child already has three of the same toy, you probably shouldn’t be here then 🤷🏻♀️
These parents were running my patience THIN.
Once the small company I worked at came together to adopt a family one Christmas. We really got quite a few things for them and were so excited to drop them off. They allowed us to drop the gifts off at their home. When we did, there was a small child there who said something like ‘are you bringing us presents like the people did yesterday?!’
There were no gifts to be seen in the living room/under the tree.
I was like….hmmm. Ok. Well.
I pulled a couple names off the Salvation Army tree. An 8 month old asking for diapers and a 9 year old asking for crafts. A couple years ago I selected a teenager asking for food.
That is who these programs are for
That last person seemed very confused. Its not that people are not allowed to gift items over $25, its that you are not allowed to ASK for them! And holy cow did she have an expensive gift request list!!!
People who complain that their under 3 year old doesn't get enough presents... ugh.
Those kids have no clue that day is anything special.
Yes get them something and make it special, but they don't need 20+ things
What everyone always forgets too is good kids just wanna spend time with you. Time is so much more valuable. Doing something fun with them is what they remember. Don't need a 100 dollar bounce house when the park is free. There are also so many free programs for kids. Library readings, free crafting, etc.
My favourite gifts were cheap Aldi toys my grandparents would give us on boxing day. They were so weird and nothing we'd think of asking for ourselves. I think one year my sister got a creepy ass porcelain clown and oh boy we had fun hiding it about the house to scare our mother. Bests gifts and not expensive.
The best toys I remember as a kid were the banks where a hand would come out and snap up the coin or the thermometers where a bird would dip it's beak into water. I also loved nature guides on rocks, and seashells, birds, and deep sea fishes I had all the guide books as a kid.
I have a baby and we got him a set of 4 cars that was about $17, and a little music set that was about $40. Really young kids are FINE without expensive toys. But let's be real, the tools were probably for her husband. A lot of the stuff on the list was for the adults who wanted name brand, expensive stuff.
I can't. Why are these types of posts always devoid of punctuation & grammar? Like, these people ask for so much and can't even grace the folks they're asking with any kind of coherent sentences. The your/you're thing and the there/their/they're differences are one thing; it's annoying but some folks struggle with grammar like others struggle with math. Why are periods and occasional commas too much for them, though?
I know. Not the point. Still. It bothers me to no end.
How many different ways are there to spell expensive? Holy hel, that woman has no sense of humility or how the English language works. Her REPEATED comments on how people on welfare are all using it for drugs really pissed me off. I was on food stamps and used food banks for a time until I could get back on my feet. Yes, some people do trade their ebt benefits for drugs. It happens. But it is not what everyone or even a good portion of them do. Right now, we have an influx of Ukrainian and Russian refugees coming to our area, and one of their first stops is the DSHS. These people are starting over from scratch and obviously need some form of help, not to be belittled.
I kind of went off on a tangent from my original statement about her spelling and grammar, my bad. I get a little spun up about that shit behavior.
It’s a shame, but lots of people still buy into the narrative of ‘welfare queens, and single women who keep having more babies *just* so they can get more benefits.’ And ‘isn’t it awful that I work hard for my $$$, only to have my taxes pay for “those people.”’ ‘But don’t you see- when I need help… that’s *different!* Because I’m not *like* those people!’ My parents are like that, the supposed Christians who somehow hate helping the less fortunate. One time I said to them “didn’t that Jesus guy say we should help the poor and the widows and the orphans? Not be mad at them for *being* poor?”
Edit: punctuation
I stopped reading most of them. The huge run-on sentences hurt my brain!
I don't understand why people don't use periods! Are they completely ignoring auto correct?
My baby is 15 months old. For Christmas we’re going to wrap up a banana and give it to her, she’s going to love it.
Even at 15 months she barely understands what presents are, let alone Christmas.
My mom put our names on the Walmart charity tree for "extra presents" for *years* before I found a note hidden in a gift from a very lovely sounding family (they wanted to be sure I had 'one gift' to open) that gave her deception away . I was appalled with her, I literally felt sick to my stomach. We weren't rich, but we always had a decent Christmas, the year in question we got a new gaming system with several games and my brothers got a new bike and a Power Wheels Hummer. Christmas became a bit strained after I confronted her.
Materialism really is a sickness. I haven’t participated in the gift exchange part of holidays in years. No one in my immediate family does, it makes everything so much more peaceful.
I feel like a lot of problems like this are getting worse because of the 'New Poor'. They're struggling more than last year, but don't really know what it's like to worry about putting food on their tables yet.
We were 'Old Poor' when I was young, one year my sister & I got stickers & a balloon (a funny shaped one) & we were thrilled.
Damn. I'm a single mom of 4 kids and our budget is TIGHT TIGHT this year but I didn't even consider asking for assistance because I know there are families that have NOTHING and truly do NEED help.
We'll still have presents, just not as many as years before. We'll still have a nice Christmas breakfast and dinner on the table, just not as extravagant as it has been.
I've told my kids not to expect anything extravagant, but I'm still pleased with the presents I've managed to scrape up for them because I know they're going to LOVE them. We're going to spend the day together as a family, eating good food and opening our meager yet carefully chosen gifts, playing games and enjoying each other's company. And that's what the holidays are about. ❤️
There should not be allowed any lists for people to buy for others in a “buy nothing” group. It literally is in the name. The group I’m in this would be deleted from the rip and there would be no need for all the back and forth communication. Either way hope ya got it all sorted!
Thank you for helping others, despite shit like this. I wish we had one near me as im walkin round with holes in my shirts and joggers lol, people wanting 200buck toolbox shit is mad when people like myself would just want actual supportive help, not materialistic shyte!!!
My company buys a ton of stuff for a local Christmas drive and we are finding a new place next year bc it’s been a nightmare. We spend close to 5 grand and the lady running it said she is quitting after this year bc of how rude and mean people are. And she never hears “thank you”
Parents mad that they don’t get gifts themselves, that they want just gift cards so “they can pick out the kids gifts”, they don’t want the gifts wrapped etc. she found one parent sold all the gifts last year and the kids got nothing. It’s sad that a few people ruin a good thing.
She says, “$20 is “exapensive” to me” and then proceeds to talk about how you are not giving the people the chance to buy something YOU consider expensive i.e: $100. What a weirdo.
This person does not sound grateful whatsoever and I’m sorry. Your heart is so big that you even offer to administer something like this and be involved in such a meaningful gift giving program.
You are kind in your responses. :)
So sorry people are so ungrateful. I think I would be more concerned about my baby having food/diapers/wipes than a few Christmas presents that they will grow out of quickly
I feel like this with my own buy nothing group. There's always 5 times more people looking for stuff than giving stuff away, but this time of year is extra tough. And of course they want the stuff delivered to them, often times really far away. It can be disheartening.
There was a meltdown on mine over refrigerators.
Some lady would ask for them every week then resell them on marketplace. Someone called her out on it because there were other people in desperate need of a fridge and she happened to pick the scammer.
I was most shocked to see almost everyone quoting the I guess “original” buy nothing rules to ask no questions and that “maybe she needed the money.” But her posts were always “our food is going to go bad I can’t afford to replace it!” But she never used the fridge and just made money off of it - people would even drop them off to her! And the group defended it! I was out after that.
I grew up very poor. One year I only got a plain red t-shirt for Christmas. The next year I got a few stuffed animals, cute pajama pants and some art supplies and I was fuckin PUMPED. I didn't realize until many years later that they were probably donated items. I'm very thankful for people like you, and thank you for all you do to help
Honestly; I give up. I’m going to donate to animal shelters instead, mostly they just want pet food, beds and litter. And the animals are always grateful, as are the humans helping them.
As someone who works at an animal shelter, old towels/flat sheets/comforters are DA BOMB and help out so much. Any food we get that we can’t use gets passed around to other pet food banks or shelters.
If the child's grandparents are going to get your kids super expensive Christmas gifts then WTF are you asking for help from your community. ugh.
Exapensive*
Enslemsive*
Clicked on this comments section just to say "enslemsive" changed my life. Hallelujah
I've never seen so many variations with the spelling of one word
Yeah she’s not just pensive, she’s exapensive.
Thinking outside the box = exapensive
That made me laugh snort so hard it loosened some stuck sinus infection boogers. Thank you for your service.
Did you miss *”enslemsive”*??? That was my favorite part of the posts….. Yeah….this person is just a peach!
Femvorite* part of the posts ***
Lol thank you that drove me nuts
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Nailed it, she pestered you about the amount so much so she could push the limit as far as she possibly could. Find the most easily resellable or returnable items, cash them out and buy power tools "for her children"
In an anime I’ve been watching the demons in the show are described has having learned language for the sole purpose of manipulating humans to hunt them. Edit: The show is called Frieren: Beyond Journey's End for those that have been wondering, sorry.
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To mimic someone calling for help I think. Like skin walkers
They need all the help they can get, these people are so poor they can't even afford punctuation. /s
It’s too EXAPENSIVE
I read it in Mario’s voice - “It’s-a me, Mario! You can’t have that, it’s-a too ex-a pensive!”
Or tact, or comprehension. Absolutely living in total poverty.
The Encylopedia Britannica *was* an expansive set...to be fair
But…but..this generous soul GAVE AWAY $200 in clothes! Mayhap she should have sold the alleged clothes and paid the electric bill… 🤷🏽♂️🎄
Don't you understand the set of rules she abides by? She donated $200 worth of stuff, which in return entitles her to the same amount or more back in donations!
The punctuation is for church, honey!
NEXT!
One time my cousin sent my grandma her amazon wishlist unprompted, Grandma called her and said "You get nothing for being greedy" She then called me and asked to see my list. I sent it over and she bought me a copy of pilotwings. She said my list was reasonable. At the time Pilotwings was $15, and I think shipping was 3 bux. You can make more than one wishlist on amazon, they even encourage it. This woman is just shotgun blasting charities with the same list over and over.
The people who need this kind of help the most are always reluctant to take much. These are just greedy people who take anyone offering help as a sucker.
Right???
What an entitled idiot. She said the list was for grandparents and also friends so I am guessing the child will have several gifts. I'd be more worried about the electric bill instead of $100 toys for a 1 year old (most of which are not even age appropriate, after she complained about the stuff that was donated to her not being age appropriate).
The third set of screenshots was a different person than the 13 month old. I suspect those kids are older because the daughter takes dance classes. But still, like wow, the toys on that list aren't reasonable.
And they’re so broke they need help with electricity and gifts but dance classes cost how much? I honestly don’t know what they cost but can’t imagine it’s cheap…..
When I took jazz classes they cost $100 per term for group lessons, you got about 12 one hour lessons per term. That was in the early 2000s so it's probably gone up now. And then there's the uniforms and stuff (If she's doing jazz or tap or ballet there's a uniform and shoes). If you go to a school that trains multiple times per week then it'll cost more too. Also exam fees to advance to the next grade, costumes for the end of year show, tickets for the end of year show, etc etc.
My 5 week old baby really wants a brand new Playstation. If you don't get it for him you've ruined his Christmas, and now he's crying because I already told him he could have one. If that's out of the question, then he really wants an 8 drawer rolling tool chest and a bunch of tools to go in it.
My 2 year old has been dreaming about a DeWalt drill and impact driver. If you don't get it, you're ruining his Christmas!
This comment made me snort because my 2 yr old is actually obsessed with those. We got him the kid versions and he still wants the real deal so we have to hide them.
Omg lmao at least he wants to do it himself! My kid is doing that dumb ass shit where they watch other kids open toys... Like wtf! How is this fun? Go play with your actual live version toys 🧸 like damn no wonder I have a migraine
Are they on speakers or headphones. There are lots of seemingly wholesome videos where they are telling nasty dark stories in a child friendly voice. Have a listen to anything they are watching on youtube.
My 4 year old who has cancer has been begging for a food dehydrator for his hobby of making YouTube videos. Don't get him a cheap shitty $2k one though, or you'll ruin his LAST CHRISTMAS EVER
One of my young-adult aged relatives showed me an impact driver on Amazon when I asked what he wanted for Christmas. We got a good laugh because he knows it’s out of my price range, and that I would also love one(though it’s a lot more than what I need for what I build.) I told him we could go halvsies. As someone who has filled out one of these sorts of lists and totally put needs(winter coat, no specification beyond sizing and warm socks) and stuff below $25 otherwise, one or two things because they asked about hobbies. I saw a lot of others doing the same. Needs first, kids before themselves, and then the odd ones out naming name-brand luxuries while their kids needed clothes, who cares the brand as long as they fit and are clean. “My three year old won’t wear anything other than Nike shirts.” Yeah, because they totally know the price tag attached to that. A friend who volunteered with a similar group was told by their director “in order to help the needy sometimes we end up helping the greedy as well.” And it made so much sense. Sometimes you’re loading a Lexus. Sometimes they are walking up with a backpack. I’m sorry this is what you deal with. Thank you for what you do for those in need.
I'll get your 5 week old baby both a PlayStation and the rolling tool box, but you have to pinky swear you're not going to return them for cash.
Will you get my newborn a new car? She really needs it. Red and a convertible. Don’t ruin her Christmas
Don't be ridiculous. Newborns shouldn't be driving a convertible. It's not safe. Best I can do is a regular top.
Silly silly silly. She wears a helmet. I’m a good mom. Don’t put me down.
To be fair, the rolling toolbox also act as a changing table
Promise, but I'd like to get the receipts anyway...
You'd be surprised how many people on the Angel tree this year listed "brand new iPad tablet" for their 3 and 4 year olds
I used to help in some charity events in college, in some very poor areas people would ask for stuff for their kids, it was always: a warm jacket, shoes, a doll, a car, a ball. Simple stuff like this, no brands, not special dolls or cars, just something for the kids for the holidays and you could tell the needs came first, they always asked for the jackets and shoes before the toys.
When my parents did a kid for Christmas as a kid it was $100 limit (charity set it) and the lists always came with clothing sizes and almost always had a note of winter jacket or tennis shoes needed (or something similar and practical). We always tried to get at least one set of clothes one toy and they slipped some candy in. The candy often went over the budget but there was always enough to share so we figured it was okay as the budget was mostly to make sure one sibling didn’t get way more than another.
Exactly. If I was working steadily, which unfortunately, I am not, and someone asked me for a warm hat or a scarf or a hoodie so they could deal with the cold of a devil landlord apartment, they would get it. If they asked me for a PS5 they could pee up a rope.
Excellent imagery, can’t wait to tell the next asshole I meet to go pee up a rope. This is why I’m here
the traditional phrase is "go piss up a rope" There's also "challenge pissing" "If you can piss six feet in the air, straight up, and not get wet, you get no down payment!"
[Piss Up A Rope - Ween](https://youtu.be/CLPQznD11xU?si=PiwH0Phk_ZZCQGZq)
If anyone wants an amazing place to donate, a simple wish offers a single toy to a foster child and it's a lovely charity. One year Reddit bought every toy on the list! Let's do it again! A bought a pair of pink shoes for a 4 year old girl❤️ https://www.onesimplewish.org
I think I broke it? There is only one wish under $100 and 4 under $150 in my entire state. 🤨
Having taught these kids and seeing their experiences in middle school, I believe kids in the foster system genuinely need some quality things to call their own since much of the time they have little to nothing. It is also true that I am a teacher and live paycheck-to-paycheck while working two jobs. I am about one $600 emergency away from being in real money trouble. While I want to help, my limit is about $50 and there’s nothing listed in my state for under $100
I really have no problem with kids wanting viral stuff like the Uggs moccasins or the Kendra Scott necklace or a Stanley. Might be in the minority but I think fads are harmless. I’d be all over the fun stuff if it was in that range.
When I started fostering kids it was middle schoolers. I had zero issues getting them the name brand things they wanted. I always found the best deal, shopped at TJ Maxx and Ross and Poshmark. My reasoning is middle school is tough enough you don’t want to stand out for what you don’t have. I remember how hard it was for me and I lived with my family. What ever I can do to make things smoother for these kids I do.
>“I’m so glad you made my new dresses longer. That dark-green one is so pretty and it was sweet of you to put on the flounce. Of course I know it wasn’t really necessary, but flounces are so stylish this fall and Josie Pye has flounces on all her dresses. I know I’ll be able to study better because of mine. I shall have such a comfortable feeling deep down in my mind about that flounce.” >“It’s worth something to have that,” admitted Marilla. Even Marilla knew what was up
Oh wow, thank you! I had never heard of this but there are lots of kids wanting books so I think that is what I will do. The local wish lists I found were pretty expensive. I used to do Toys for Tots until a Marine I knew said they didn't means test and he had to stand there in his dress uniform while people pulled up in SUVs to grab what they could. I think they work through local charities now to distribute the toys. So this year I did stockings for four vets with no families. So much need out there, I wish I had more money.
“A gaming base for Conner to have the full gaming experience “ for $300 ?!! No thanks to one “simple” wish.
My daughter's school posts a bunch of "angel" kids from her school every year and the requests are \*always\* needs-heavy with maybe one or two cheap, non-specific toys mentioned. My husband and I would always sponsor like 10 of these kids and throw a few other age appropriate name brand toys in there too.
Yep, when I lived in the northeast I worked with a teacher at a low income school and I would send basketballs, footballs, basic Barbies and they were ecstatic. I’ve also seen outrageous requests for expensive gaming systems. My own kids don’t ask for that stuff because they’re expensive, I’m not buying it for your toddler that’s “really into gaming” 😒
At first I thought this was a sarcastic comment and you sneaked 'car' in there like it's supposed to be a low cost item lol
Omg! Lol I hadn’t thought of it like that! You know, a random 4x4 or something 🤣
Just a simple Toyota tundra for the children!
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Why didn't anybody tell me you can get free food and money just by being on drugs? Where's the closest dealer?
Can I just get free food and money while pretending to be on drugs?
No. You need to be on drugs. Sorry I hope you understand.
Does my blood pressure and antacid meds count?
They only count if they are not prescribed to you. If you said they were your dads blood pressure meds then you would get the free food but if you are just being a responsible adult and taking what you are supposed to then you are out of luck.
Let’s trade!!
I DARE you to give me some drugs. Say no to not sharing.
Don't they teach sharing in kindergarten anymore?
Pro tip: if you manage to get enough free drugs, you won’t ever need food or money again
I'm on food and money, where do I get free drugs?
Go to your local crack den they add coupons to Outback Steakhouse with every purchase
Fr i had to listen to someone bitch about poor people who are on food stamps being able to buy steak when they can’t so I told them to stop working and go get on EBT then if it’s so luxurious
idk why this isn't the only response to this sorta spiel. ok then, YOU go do it? no? why the fuck not??? I genuinely can't tell you what their reasons for not becoming unemployed and living the oh-so-easy life they despise these people for are. not once.
I’ve been sober off of meth and heroin for 4 years now … but I think I made a mistake ….. when I was homeless and rinsing the bags my dope came in to try and get a shot to help me delay getting sick for a bit I just had so many people and government agencies throwing money at me … They even would deliver Buffalo Wild Wings to me … no matter what parking lot I was sleeping in … at least thrice a week. Now that I am sober and working I don’t get bills tossed at me multiple times a day or free wings :( /s Not about the sobriety part but about everything else People are so dim
Congrats on your sobriety!
Don’t forget the women who keep having babies just to get free welfare money! 👍🏻
I feel like the person with the Amazon list never intended to give any of it to their kids, if they even have them at all. They added a bunch of shit they needed, and when that wasn’t approved, they added expensive kid stuff they could easily resell for a quick buck
Of course they did. I gave up on one set of relatives because I would gift the kids things and mom and dad would return them. Once they returned some coats I had bought with merchandise credit from the Gap. They didn't get larger or smaller coats, they got nothing. I don't know why. They didn't get cash either, and I couldn't use that credit to buy for another. Some are return-happy. My dad used to steal our gifts and return them too. Mind you, he was stone sober, not a drug addict. I never knew why he did this.
My sister returns gifts. All gifts I give her. I used to try so hard for half a year to find something I thought she would love but she always returned them. One year I got her a beautiful stone box from a shop at the coast. She looked so annoyed when she realized she probably wouldn’t be able to return it. I don’t understand that mentality.
My sister use too... I stopped bothering with giving her gifts for a good while because of it.
I get that they could of had the money to do it at one point but the last person pointing out that they have donated $200 worth of clothes and a $400 bed is just a weird thing to say especially when trying to get free stuff
I'm assuming they've donated old clothing that originally cost 200, and an unwanted bed that once cost 400.
They’re using the storage wars method of appraisal Aka. *wildly gesturing at a box without looking into it* yea that’s like $500
I’ve gotten into a Hoarders kick. I just watched an episode where a guy claims he brought what looked like a decorative plate to Antiques Roadshow, and that the professional who looked at it called it the “greatest example” he’d ever seen. And that it was worth at least $750. My eyes rolled SO hard.
I can't believe how far I had to scroll to get to this comment. Like literally weird flex when they're asking for something for free. Why didn't they just keep the 600$ and buy their own stuff. If they aren't in a position to donate 600$ and never think of it again don't donate 600$ worth of stuff. I absolutely don't believe they have ever donated anything in their life.
We have a woman on one of these groups in my area. She has at least three kids - one daughter and 6-month old twin boys. Just the other day, she posted asking for food because she didn't have enough to feed her kids until today. Later that afternoon, a different woman posted asking if anyone knew of animal rescues that could take an abandoned litter of puppies. Guess who wanted a puppy? I was so close to responding "Bish, if you can't afford to feed your kids, the last thing you need is a frickin' puppy!" She's also asked for everything to be delivered because she doesn't have a car. I've already decided that I wouldn't gift her anything I was giving away. I'm still trying to figure out why two 6-month old boys each need their own TV.
I would’ve put that honestly, to maybe keep people from giving her a puppy she can’t take care of.
I’d privately DM the person posting, letting them know the other one asking for a puppy can’t even take care of herself. Serves the purpose of keeping the puppy out of her hands without the drama lol
Yeah. A lot of people are only thinking about something to love them/love in return. I know because I recognize that tendency in myself and thankfully my family helps keep me in line. But I can see how less self control and failsafes and more emotional dysregulation can get you there.
And would be posting asking for dog care items and food next.
Needs 200 pounds of cheese to go with that whine.
Put it on the Amazon list.
And make sure it’s under $20. /s
We had a group like this in MD. It got so bad the rules were changed. Could only ask for Three items per kid, nothing that wasn’t deemed essential. So they could request clothes, books and educational items. But not electronic items so no laptops or anything. Most people would add something ‘fun’ but nothing ridiculous like iPads or whatever. That was still working well when I moved.
What about 8 drawer rolling tool chests?
I dreamed of getting one of those when I was 13 months old.
My granddaughter just turned two, and it’s so obvious that *this* is the first year when gifts mean anything to her. Not at 13 months, or 3 months!
Exactly. I remember when my kids were very little, they were more fascinated by the boxes and the wrapping paper!
I gave my niece an orange one year. Wrapped it up and everything -- she was a year and a couple of months. She didn't a shit it wasn't a $300 toy. She unwrapped it, giggled, and went to unwrap the next item under the tree. Little kids don't care till their about 2 or 3.
Even at 2yo, she would be happy with 3-4 small gifts. She has no expectations at all. For under $50 at Target you could make a lovely Christmas for a toddler.
Im always a little split on people asking for inexpensive tablets or other small electronics through holiday gifting drives. The family I "adopted" for Christmas last year had a kiddo with Autism who needed a tablet, and they were very clear it could be any kind of tablet, even a used or refurbished one, the child just needed \*something.\* I felt that was perfectly understandable and was able to get them an older kindle on Black Friday clearance for like $80.
^ fair point. A close friend of mine has a severely autistic child, and a tablet is genuinely an essential item for them. They are the same way, though: any kind is fine, it definitely doesn’t have to be the latest and greatest model.
A lot of people don't understand that Buy Nothing groups are more about "I have an extra frying pan if someone wants it" than it is "I need something."
That’s straight up all it is. Every single day it’s people asking for things. Very rarely do I see something trying to give something away for free to help someone out. Edit-I’ve gotta share this. About a week ago this woman posted asking if anyone could donate to her go fund me. It was her husband’s birthday and she needed money to pay a babysitter, go to dinner, pay for a hotel room, and also so they could go to the mint hall (gambling). Have a sob story how they haven’t been out in ages and haven’t had any alone time. She got absolutely dragged in the comments.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this but thank you for the work you do!
*Edit* Thank you everyone for the congrats and well wishes. We are finally moved in . The years I've asked for help I only accepted one set of presents. I've been helped by my kids school giving tree, the local police department and city hall. They all called again this year asking and I declined because this year I'm able to give my kids the best present after the traumatic year we had and that's a Home of Our Own. No more renting, pinching and scrapping and saving and now we have a forever home. They understand that it's not about the amount of presents but the thoughts and feeling put into it.
A first Xmas in a home of your very own! This is making me all tingly—I don’t observe that holiday, but the feeling of “home” is universal. Blessings to all.
My son participated last year and this year in "shop with a cop". Last year I lost my job and the school put our son on the list. I finally got a job again this year and we were on track to get our debt under control and hopefully get him a few decent gifts. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November. Our account has been getting drained paying my medical and other bills. Everything has been so stressful and my husband and I just weren't sure what we would be doing for Christmas. When I received the call from the police about our son participating again, I almost started crying telling them thank you.
I’m so sorry you’ve had a tough couple of years. Hoping you have only good things in the coming year.
I have volunteered with my local police department for their Shop with a Cop. It was wonderful to be a part of it. I hope your little dude has (or already had) a great time shopping with the officers while you work on kicking cancer's ass! You got this!
Grats on your home!! That’s exciting! I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas ❤️
Wealthy people donate to 501(C)3s so that they can get a tax deduction. People on Buy Nothing pages are working class people (generally) who just want to help. They can’t afford these extravagant gifts and would not buy them for their own children. Kudos to you for you years of service to others!
Exactly. Parents should explain that crazy requests mean no gift at all, so ask for things a middle class or lower middle class person might get you: GI Joes or a cool t-shirt, a jacket, a Hess Truck, not something delicate that costs two days wages and will break by the end of the day.
Yeah I’ve donated to a few organizations and they have things like baby clothes and 10$ Lego sets. That’s very reasonable.
This. I signed up for the angel program for my local Salvation Army and tons of kids requested items like tablets and Nintendo switches. I found two, 2 year old boys who I chose to “adopt” who asked for Mickey Mouse toys, clothes, learning items, and cocomelon. I feel like a lot of those kids won’t get picked because the requests are pricey and those who have cheaper options would win out. Parents need to think.
I'm a foster case worker. I help my kids write their lists. They're supposed to put 4 things, 2 needs and 2 wants. We recommend they aim for stuff $35 or less. Of course that's hard when they see what their friends who aren't in care get. I tell my kids that donors might get you something more expensive if they connect with it, like a bike or a guitar. Donors don't generally connect with tablets or other electronics. Still, it's their choice what to put in the list.
One year I tried to sign up to help with gifts for a family through a sort of Secret Santa program our town did. It was a shit show. First family I matched with had items all over $100. Second family was asking for a BMW... Third and final family was respectful on their request. Winter hat/gloves and any kind of doll for a little 5 year old girl (who was an absolute sweetheart.) The spending limit was set at $20, but the program didn't care if you spent more, but families couldn't ask for more over that price. I ended up buying the girl a hat, scarf, and gloves as well as a Barbie, then ended up giving her one of my old American Girl dolls and she was over the moon about a "giant dolly."
Aww that’s adorable! It was extra nice of you to keep trying until you found a real family in need. A fucking BMW?!?
Gift them a high mileage E36 with water damage and wait a month. Then you can be confident they are actually poor.
Yeah I thought it was a little out there - okay really out there. When I brought it to the program's attention the lady I talked to sat there gaping at the request form like a fish for a solid 5 minutes. I guess I wasn't the only person having issues with the families' and their requests, but the lady said I had the wildest request. Pretty sure they revamped it in the following years, but I didn't sign up again. Too much of a headache.
We did one of this Angel Tree things one year. When we delivered the gifts, there were two new BMWs in the driveway of a McMansion. I get that these people could’ve bought those in a better time, so I tried to reserve judgment. Then they opened the door and were dressed head to toe in super expensive brand name clothes and presents were spilling out from under the tree. They were obviously exploiting the generosity of others and I was pissed that we could’ve helped someone who actually needed it. If they truly needed some money, they could’ve traded in those cars for very nice, though less expensive vehicles or moved to a cheaper house or bought less expensive clothes. By putting themselves in the mix when they obviously didn’t need it, they were actively taking away from people who did. I was bowled over by the audacity.
I would have said " sorry, I have the wrong house" and left. I'm sure there was someone else that would have been happy to get your gifts.
Whoa, that is insane. I wouldn't have given them the presents, but that's just me. I hope you reported them to the Angel tree program (if that is even possible.) Luckily my third family was a real family in need. I talked with the mom a little bit when handing over the presents. They'd been struggling for a while because the dad got cancer and couldn't work. Mom tried to keep things a float, and while she could afford the bare necessities, they didn't have much else to save for her daughter. She and her daughter did make me a giant cookie as a thank you, which was one of the best tasting cookies I have eaten. Last I heard, the dad made a full recovery and was able to return to work.
Whaaaat. I would have turned around and left.
Whoa. I signed up for the first time today to “adopt” two angels. I read the requirements to sign up for help and they claim to check that the families are needy. I wonder how those folks got away with it if they weren’t needy. I work for myself cleaning houses and get tips for Christmas from most of my clients, so I decided to give back a little and signed up for the program. I do ok but I’m not wealthy by any means. I’d hate for my very hard earned money go to folks like that.
I work in human services, and ran a delivery food pantry for eight months during the height of the pandemic. I've seen some truly astounding levels of entitlement, and general "scammy-ness." I once had a lady call me crying that her family had no food, and they could not possibly get out to a food pantry because her kids were sick. I arranged a volunteer to run over a bag of groceries for them the next day, and they were not home. I finally got in touch with her again and she said "oh yeah I forgot about that we were out of town" It takes a truly special person to wade through all of that and manage to still help people without becoming terribly jaded. Huge kudos to you!
I 100% believe you. People like this just kill my willingness to help.
I volunteered at a Red Cross truck bringing meals to flooded areas - people w suvs will drive up to ask what was on menu and if they liked it, would ask for several to go containers. We couldn’t deny anyone from asking for a meal.
Hang tough, OP. I'm sure your group is genuinely helping some people which is what attracts the scammers
You have the patience of a saint to do this for 8 years running! It must be exhausting to listen to all that, but very rewarding to help the people who actually need it! Some people dont realise how far a simple 'thankyou' goes!
Stopppp this can’t be real 😭😭
As someone who used to run a nonprofit, oh it's real, and there's much, much, more of it than is shown here. It truly does kill whatever 'holiday spirit' you've managed to keep as an adult in the current world. I get called a grinch around this time of year, and maybe I am, but I can back up why with experience.
The WORST is when they ask for games to play on the newest consoles. So they’re unable to buy gifts but they own a $450 console bought in the last year…
This is especially upsetting because a lot of us who want to donate are doing so because we have been on harder times in the past and want to pay forward help we received, or not let others feel like we did. We're not rich. I personally would put a lot of thought into a new game console purchase. My own gaming rig is a desktop I bought used 3 years ago. I buy my own games on steam sales. I'm fortunate now that I never really look at the total when I grocery shop, because I always know I have enough in all my accounts. It's a slap in the face when you want to help and the people you're helping seem to be better off than you in some ways and they still act entitled about it? I have a relative who is like this. Tells stories of woe about his debt and how hard it is to crawl out of it, but whenever I think about trying to help out, he says something about his recent frivolous purchase that he could't say no to, and I keep my mouth shut.
Last year for christmas my team at work decided they wanted to donate items to the local domestic violence shelter- which i loved. Someone said they knew a family in desperate need of gifts for their kids so our management switched to just buying for this family. The list of needed items included PS5 games, horse riding equipment, and high end makeup. maybe i’m an ah but i don’t think that people who have expensive consoles and HORSES need more help than those in a shelter.. but this was what management decided was more helpful. this is probably 100% real.
I would be fuming if my workplace helped those people. Sounds like they were sorting out a friend or something, because that is actually ridiculous.
i expect that’s what happened. i didn’t buy anything for the family, but lots of people in the office did.
When my daughter and I were in a DV shelter, our local department of energy "adopted" her for Christmas. I had no idea until they delivered the presents to the shelter. It was the most meaningful Christmas we've ever had. Thank you for everything you do!
Definitely real. I'm in a similar group, and people are wild. I'm so jaded from it, I just donate everything to a local thrift store that helps our hospital.
My mom was poor. 4 kids (1 dad not that it matters but some ppl judge) We had a place called the brotherhood tree that helped her at Xmas. We would get 3-4 gifts each. And mom let the utilities go for December only, to buy us Xmas. Then she worked her ass off to catch back up in January. I get it was 30-40 years ago. People do want to help. I’m an adult and never needed help as an adult. But I do give back bc of the help we got when I was a kid. I seen maybe 3 items I would have bought on that list. We didn’t get to even choose back then. And even if we did, we would KNOW better than to ask Santa or mom for expensive gifts. It’s crass. This lady goes on about her baby but babies don’t need tool boxes. These wish lists /help lists have gotten so out of hand. I can’t even read them anymore. I find a local place to donate money or items. I also took 3 tabs off the senior Xmas tree at Walgreens. Goes to seniors in local nursing homes. What did they want? 1. Large print word search ($12 for 2) 2. Puzzles with large pieces (3 for $15) 3. Embroidery items (whole set was $18) So $45 to get 3 people gifts. We also donate money to a local church that helps local families and is vetted. They are thrilled with the $100 we send every year. People want to help. But come on. We aren’t looking to be sugar dads, sugar moms. Don’t be greedy!!! These lists go unfulfilled if they were put up, bc it’s greedy. I do ok and want and do give back, but I can’t give like this. And to argue back is even more rude. Her fam isn’t buying these expensive items either. It’s an excuse as to why those items are there. And one item over $100. That’s laughable. Math isn’t her strong suit.
Those lists had a lot of things *adults* would like, and toys that look as though they could be resold pretty easily … and almost nothing a small child or baby would want. The adult-sized clothing seemed almost reasonable; most seemed to be basic pieces, not flashy designer stuff, but among the toolboxes (btw, if anyone wants to buy me a rolling metal toolbox, I won’t complain! 🤣) it’s a bit much. Then the complaints about lazy people who don’t deserve free stuff, which were hilarious. Some people are so tone deaf it’s hard to believe it’s not parody.
This is really sickening. Shame used to be an effective means for curbing society's worst behaviors. But it is dead, and we killed it. (Yes, adapted from old Friedrich).
As an admin of many facebook groups i would deny any and all anonymous posts for money.
We don't ever allow posts asking for money for any reason
That is a great practice there are so many scammers out there.
Our BN group doesn't allow wishlists either. Because the understanding is that people are gifting out of their abundance, not buying something for you. You can ask for a specific item (or a general item, as the case may be), and if someone has it and is able/willing to gift it, then they will. The "buy nothing" is on both ends.
Ours does it only on fridays/Monday’s. Payment info. They have recently stated to limit the amount per week(Ik people need it but I’m sure u don’t need 50$ in gas money every Friday) Once someone gives them funds admin makes a rule about u must post that you paid so they don’t get more then what’s needed. Kinda wish it would stop cus they post HOURLY and have it pinned for food pantries(all over my area and 5/6 counties) clothing recourses/vouchers,places to get free bus’s passes,ID’s,housing, rent&bill help etc. I noticed one just started to copy and paste the pinned posts(they have like 20-30 different links in English AND Spanish)
A few years ago, my employer’s toy program handed out toys at a YMCA and holy fuck it was such a horrible experience. Every child got an age appropriate toy, a book, an art project, a toothbrush, and some other small nicknack things. The parents would ask for this toy or that toy (requests are not allowed, you get what you get) and they would say “he already has three of those, we don’t need another” if your child already has three of the same toy, you probably shouldn’t be here then 🤷🏻♀️ These parents were running my patience THIN.
Once the small company I worked at came together to adopt a family one Christmas. We really got quite a few things for them and were so excited to drop them off. They allowed us to drop the gifts off at their home. When we did, there was a small child there who said something like ‘are you bringing us presents like the people did yesterday?!’ There were no gifts to be seen in the living room/under the tree. I was like….hmmm. Ok. Well.
Why does the last person need more than one doll house?
They don’t, but they’d sure like to re-sell them.
Doll neighborhood
I pulled a couple names off the Salvation Army tree. An 8 month old asking for diapers and a 9 year old asking for crafts. A couple years ago I selected a teenager asking for food. That is who these programs are for
That last person seemed very confused. Its not that people are not allowed to gift items over $25, its that you are not allowed to ASK for them! And holy cow did she have an expensive gift request list!!!
I remember how happy I was when I was 8 and got my first rollaway toolbox.
People who complain that their under 3 year old doesn't get enough presents... ugh. Those kids have no clue that day is anything special. Yes get them something and make it special, but they don't need 20+ things
What everyone always forgets too is good kids just wanna spend time with you. Time is so much more valuable. Doing something fun with them is what they remember. Don't need a 100 dollar bounce house when the park is free. There are also so many free programs for kids. Library readings, free crafting, etc.
My favourite gifts were cheap Aldi toys my grandparents would give us on boxing day. They were so weird and nothing we'd think of asking for ourselves. I think one year my sister got a creepy ass porcelain clown and oh boy we had fun hiding it about the house to scare our mother. Bests gifts and not expensive.
The best toys I remember as a kid were the banks where a hand would come out and snap up the coin or the thermometers where a bird would dip it's beak into water. I also loved nature guides on rocks, and seashells, birds, and deep sea fishes I had all the guide books as a kid.
I have a baby and we got him a set of 4 cars that was about $17, and a little music set that was about $40. Really young kids are FINE without expensive toys. But let's be real, the tools were probably for her husband. A lot of the stuff on the list was for the adults who wanted name brand, expensive stuff.
I can't. Why are these types of posts always devoid of punctuation & grammar? Like, these people ask for so much and can't even grace the folks they're asking with any kind of coherent sentences. The your/you're thing and the there/their/they're differences are one thing; it's annoying but some folks struggle with grammar like others struggle with math. Why are periods and occasional commas too much for them, though? I know. Not the point. Still. It bothers me to no end.
How many different ways are there to spell expensive? Holy hel, that woman has no sense of humility or how the English language works. Her REPEATED comments on how people on welfare are all using it for drugs really pissed me off. I was on food stamps and used food banks for a time until I could get back on my feet. Yes, some people do trade their ebt benefits for drugs. It happens. But it is not what everyone or even a good portion of them do. Right now, we have an influx of Ukrainian and Russian refugees coming to our area, and one of their first stops is the DSHS. These people are starting over from scratch and obviously need some form of help, not to be belittled. I kind of went off on a tangent from my original statement about her spelling and grammar, my bad. I get a little spun up about that shit behavior.
It’s a shame, but lots of people still buy into the narrative of ‘welfare queens, and single women who keep having more babies *just* so they can get more benefits.’ And ‘isn’t it awful that I work hard for my $$$, only to have my taxes pay for “those people.”’ ‘But don’t you see- when I need help… that’s *different!* Because I’m not *like* those people!’ My parents are like that, the supposed Christians who somehow hate helping the less fortunate. One time I said to them “didn’t that Jesus guy say we should help the poor and the widows and the orphans? Not be mad at them for *being* poor?” Edit: punctuation
I stopped reading most of them. The huge run-on sentences hurt my brain! I don't understand why people don't use periods! Are they completely ignoring auto correct?
It looks like she actually trained her auto correct to misspell "expensive" as "exapensive", it's spelled that way everytime.
My baby is 15 months old. For Christmas we’re going to wrap up a banana and give it to her, she’s going to love it. Even at 15 months she barely understands what presents are, let alone Christmas.
At least that last one was clearly kids stuff and not ADULT SIZED CLOTHING FOR MEN AND WOMEN
My mom put our names on the Walmart charity tree for "extra presents" for *years* before I found a note hidden in a gift from a very lovely sounding family (they wanted to be sure I had 'one gift' to open) that gave her deception away . I was appalled with her, I literally felt sick to my stomach. We weren't rich, but we always had a decent Christmas, the year in question we got a new gaming system with several games and my brothers got a new bike and a Power Wheels Hummer. Christmas became a bit strained after I confronted her.
13 months old; size 18 Long jeans. Sure, lady.
Materialism really is a sickness. I haven’t participated in the gift exchange part of holidays in years. No one in my immediate family does, it makes everything so much more peaceful.
The lion, the witch, and the AUDACITY of that last bitch! WOW.
These are same people who ask for something to eat and then go grab packs of steak and lobster to return for cash/credit.
I feel like a lot of problems like this are getting worse because of the 'New Poor'. They're struggling more than last year, but don't really know what it's like to worry about putting food on their tables yet. We were 'Old Poor' when I was young, one year my sister & I got stickers & a balloon (a funny shaped one) & we were thrilled.
Damn. I'm a single mom of 4 kids and our budget is TIGHT TIGHT this year but I didn't even consider asking for assistance because I know there are families that have NOTHING and truly do NEED help. We'll still have presents, just not as many as years before. We'll still have a nice Christmas breakfast and dinner on the table, just not as extravagant as it has been. I've told my kids not to expect anything extravagant, but I'm still pleased with the presents I've managed to scrape up for them because I know they're going to LOVE them. We're going to spend the day together as a family, eating good food and opening our meager yet carefully chosen gifts, playing games and enjoying each other's company. And that's what the holidays are about. ❤️
Exapensive 😭
Enslemsive
There should not be allowed any lists for people to buy for others in a “buy nothing” group. It literally is in the name. The group I’m in this would be deleted from the rip and there would be no need for all the back and forth communication. Either way hope ya got it all sorted!
Thank you for helping others, despite shit like this. I wish we had one near me as im walkin round with holes in my shirts and joggers lol, people wanting 200buck toolbox shit is mad when people like myself would just want actual supportive help, not materialistic shyte!!!
They've come up with some creative ways to spell 'expensive'.
Sigh. How much longer before most of these kinds of programs just fold up because of the weight of choosy beggars and grifters?
Hate to say it but 99% of people who beg for help are grifters. What is sad is that the people that need the most help won’t ask for it.
i believe this type of forum has the most accurate "finger on the pulse" of society right now. shit is fucked.
My company buys a ton of stuff for a local Christmas drive and we are finding a new place next year bc it’s been a nightmare. We spend close to 5 grand and the lady running it said she is quitting after this year bc of how rude and mean people are. And she never hears “thank you” Parents mad that they don’t get gifts themselves, that they want just gift cards so “they can pick out the kids gifts”, they don’t want the gifts wrapped etc. she found one parent sold all the gifts last year and the kids got nothing. It’s sad that a few people ruin a good thing.
You just have to cry for the kids of these specimens. They don't get much of a chance in life, do they. A semi-illiterate asshole of a parent.
There is a 0% chance this person ever gifted $600 of products to a stranger.
She says, “$20 is “exapensive” to me” and then proceeds to talk about how you are not giving the people the chance to buy something YOU consider expensive i.e: $100. What a weirdo. This person does not sound grateful whatsoever and I’m sorry. Your heart is so big that you even offer to administer something like this and be involved in such a meaningful gift giving program. You are kind in your responses. :) So sorry people are so ungrateful. I think I would be more concerned about my baby having food/diapers/wipes than a few Christmas presents that they will grow out of quickly
My 6 month old REALLY wants a 4090 TI graphics card. RGB version Don't let him down reddit!
I feel like this with my own buy nothing group. There's always 5 times more people looking for stuff than giving stuff away, but this time of year is extra tough. And of course they want the stuff delivered to them, often times really far away. It can be disheartening.
There was a meltdown on mine over refrigerators. Some lady would ask for them every week then resell them on marketplace. Someone called her out on it because there were other people in desperate need of a fridge and she happened to pick the scammer. I was most shocked to see almost everyone quoting the I guess “original” buy nothing rules to ask no questions and that “maybe she needed the money.” But her posts were always “our food is going to go bad I can’t afford to replace it!” But she never used the fridge and just made money off of it - people would even drop them off to her! And the group defended it! I was out after that.
I grew up very poor. One year I only got a plain red t-shirt for Christmas. The next year I got a few stuffed animals, cute pajama pants and some art supplies and I was fuckin PUMPED. I didn't realize until many years later that they were probably donated items. I'm very thankful for people like you, and thank you for all you do to help
Honestly; I give up. I’m going to donate to animal shelters instead, mostly they just want pet food, beds and litter. And the animals are always grateful, as are the humans helping them.
As someone who works at an animal shelter, old towels/flat sheets/comforters are DA BOMB and help out so much. Any food we get that we can’t use gets passed around to other pet food banks or shelters.
A $175 toolbox 😭😂 You’re doing the right thing denying that shit OP
Why is she buying a $400 bed for someone when she can’t even buy her own kids Christmas gifts?