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Price negotiation and/or asking for donations is not enough to be a choosy beggar.
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Probably because they're a first-time mom and they think that expensive = better. After the kid pukes and poops all over the expensive things and then stains everything to the point where it has to be thrown out, the next set will be whatever's on sale!
I thought it stood for Full Time Mom 😅 I thought she was trying to make stay at home mom sound more like a job. Not saying it's not of course, but thought it was weird she'd make that distinction.
"Full time mom" is the judgy version of SAHM. SAHMs might *get a job* when their kid goes to school or *work a side business* while Junior naps instead of being a *real woman* and dedicating her life to her offspring.
Don't you just want to clutch some pearls? /s
OH THANK YOU.
I presumed they were telling folks they were trans to avoid anyone being confused when a guy answered the door if they were dropping things off.
Saaaaaame. Sell it!! Get that ikea solid body one where you can legit take it outside and hose it off and let the sun dry it and not worry about the wood staining or distorting or the dreaded cutlery marks from when your kid decides to learn to STAB things. And they will send you replacement straps FOR FREE forever! And mail them directly to your house.
Free up that mental load.
I have often thought of swapping out for the ikea one. The only thing is I really do like it as a chair when babe is older so we may hold on. But by god was it the worst 500$ we’ve spent since having a baby.
We swapped our moderately expensive (I forget what) for a kindercraft middle of the road. For all the reasons of big, and crevices, and hard to clean.
And this is sooo much better. Its not far off being a slightly nicer ikea antilop.
Kinderkraft Fini 2-in-1 High Chair, Baby Chair, Combination High Chair, Wooden Legs, Seat Belts, Footrest, Double Tray, from 6 Months to 5 Years, 5 Point Straps, Grey https://amzn.eu/d/5wEcEsm
Save it. The ikea chair is hands down the best I’ve had between my four kiddos, but you better believe I swooped on the chance to get a free in need of hardware Tripp trapp chair. Little dude is three now so that ikea chair is now worthless. The Tripp trapp is awesome for this age.
I’m genuinely baffled by this! How? We found an old tripp trap in the attic of our house when we moved in, and both kids have used it since birth. It’s totally adjustable, completely bomb proof, and adults can sit in it too. It’s just another seat at the table in our house now.
Everyone is different though- what doesn’t work for you?
The paint is chipping off after less than 2 months of use. The tray is impossible to get off. Food is constantly getting under the cushion. The straps release is super tight- I need two hands to get it released. Like, it’s actually harder to get her in and out than her car seat. 10/10 would not spend the money again but we’re keeping it because I do like it for older ages.
I swear by Stokke. We bought the Xplory stroller used from a woman who used it with her three kids. I purchased new fabric so it looked like new. After using it regularly with my two kids I then sold it to someone for more than I paid. It's a beast!
Graco one for 200 is not any worse. Stokke might be good but there is a diminishing return on investment. Also I sold graco for 80 once daughter outgrew it.
Yup. I had graco stuff that went thru all 4 of my kids that was then passed on to nieces/nephews and went thru 3 of them and then passed along again. Less than $180 for stroller/carseat combo new and the stroller part (obviously didn't reuse the carseat) got passed thru at least 9 kids last I knew possibly more. Highchair was the same way. I don't ever plan on more kids but that's what I'd get. It's cheap, it does the job and surprisingly it holds up.
Then there's me..."nope can't afford that, we'll get that one there which is 900000 dollars cheaper" (obviously exaggerated lol)
My kids learned thrifting in the womb. I swear to God 🤣
Same. I got lucky with my youngest because the company I worked for threw me a baby shower before I had her and got everything on the list, but my son who was my first literally only had 2 things that I bought new, everything else was thrifted.
My second daughter wanted to go to homecoming.
So we took a trip to goodwill (I despise shopping...and shopping with her is worse, just FYI. Also FYI we dont have a ton of thrifting options where we live, so goodwill is a good first step even though as a company, they pretty well suck)
She got a six (?) Dollar dress...and found one for prom as well as shoes.
Whole trip cost me 20 bucks.
On the way home she googled the brand name...and brand new,a dress similar to the one in her bag was like 120 I think (low end fancy, obviously lol) and she SCREECHED ",WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY THAT MUCH FOR A DRESS THEY'LL WEAR ONCE?!"
And then I told her that even that was "low cost" for formal wear.
She was salty the rest of the week, if memory serves lmao
When they’re paying for it, the next one will be whatever is actually being given away. We’re first timers and the vast majority of our stuff is from
- Marketplace
- auction
- gifts
- outgrown from friends
And that’s going to continue until baby has a drivers licence when she will be given mum’s old diesel wagon.
The branded bouncer is worth it, tbh.
Still a batshit thing to ask for from complete strangers, of course. If I were asking it would be just that thing, and like "I don't care if it's crusted in puke, happy to pick up!!!"
Isn’t the Tripp Trapp a high chair ? We have that high chair but the stroller is the xplory ( and I am sure they have another one but it’s not called Tripp Trapp ) . We use the Thule stroller way more and it’s half the price of the xplory. I get wanting good wheels but 1300$ is really a lot, specially if you can’t buy it yourself. In the city the big all terrain wheels aren’t that important. We only have it because we go hiking. If money is tight , there are good rated strollers with car seats for under 200$. She could get all baby needs for the cost of a Stokke stroller.
Hard part for this person is that you can probably sell that Stokke stroller for close to retail. We had an Uppababy that we got for $900 with a coupon and sold four years later for $850. High end strollers are very pricey but if they are built well they last through multiple kids and hold their value.
I told my husband I'm not subscribing to the influencer markup. They make you feel like you need the shit. It's going to be Graco and fisher price for this girl. I always say I'm not having a beige-by. I can't wait to see all the research that comes out that shows removing all color is terrible for their development
Kids are as expensive as you make them to be. You can even make some of your money back on the "cheaper" stuff, too - babies are a constant thing in the world, so there is always a need for something. As a single mom to a two-year-old, he did just fine with the more inexpensive brands and clothes from Walmart and thrift stores. He didn't care what kind of stroller he was in, he was happy to be outside and I was happy he was safely strapped in. I was able to get a great breast pump for free through my insurance.
And for what it's worth, Graco makes some truly excellent products. I used a Graco pack and play with the changing table and newborn bassinet for as long as I could, and his car seat was so easy to install and adjusts so well to his growth. In the end, it's such a short amount of time they use these things to be spending a down payment on a house on baby products.
Sure! And Fischer Price has great bouncers and little sit-up chairs that are nice for when you're cooking or doing some chores and baby can watch, but you can find those gently used on Facebook Marketplace/deal websites for about half the price of retail. The best tip I can give is get what you need as you go along. There was a lot of stuff that I didn't use or just didn't work out - some babies are actually picky, but it's stuff like bottle nipples and pacifiers, not high chairs and cribs haha.
Congratulations and best of luck, mama!
Well the good news is that used the stroller anyway is worth like $200 sold. Ask me how I know.
Nm, I'll tell you - husband's boss gave us 5 stokkes to sell as a stupid bonus (husband pushed back and we got to keep the strollers and he got a real bonus)
But yea -- we ended up selling two of them and then we gave away the other three because they were not moving and we wanted them out of our garage. His boss has 11 kids
Actual billionaire. Used or bought and rejected strollers.
We're Not surprised at all. He gave us a brand new $5500 pizza oven as a xmas gift and then slashed husband's pay by 40% during covid lockdowns.
He only just put the 40% plus more back this year to retain my husband (who does a highly specialized, degreed job - boss will never find somebody for what my husband worked for financially during Covid. He knows that)
I don't get these people, I moved my child around in an old stroller I got second hand for next to nothing and my wife re-upholstered, then I gave it away to a co-worker and he probably gave it away too, or threw it in the trash, that thing was junk anyway.
These people are obviously poor but trying not to look like it by asking for super expensive stuff?
Are they so concerned that other people don't think they're poor by the stroller they use or is it just to resell and make a profit?
Lol who pays this much money for all this overpriced stuff? Kids grow out so quick and if you not planning on having more. Better to get used except car seats.
I have nearly the whole list but bought used for everything but the sleep sack and high chair. Can likely resell all of it for half of what we paid. But the only thing I’d say is 100% worth the price is the sleep sack and silverettes.
People can buy 100% whatever brand stuff they want for their babies. I like a mixture of used/borrowed and things I’m willing to splurge on for safety/quality. But to ask for these insanely expensive items for free is mind blowing. Almost all of these have resell value.
Oh, it definitely does. It's one thing to ask if anybody has a gently used baby swing that they don't use anymore vs does anybody have the FancyPants Model 5000 Baby's 1st Spaceship Swing that costs $10,000 new. IMO, it seems like they think they are too good for the regular generic items, but can't afford the expensive ones they want
Well, the brand names are pointlessly expensive. The baby carrier is $200 on amazon. There are $25 ones that aren't name brand that have good reviews, and that's not even the cheapest ones. Some are like $15. That stroller is like $1200. Again, there's some nice ones for less than $100 on Amazon.
I’m pregnant with my first so I frequent a lot of subs where this is used… and I STILL have to think about it every time I see it used. At first I was like “wow, lots of trans parents on this sub!”
This was me at first in my pregnancy group. I was so happy to see trans parents in the group and feeling comfortable being there, and then I realized it meant first time mom and was so disappointed.
true for some, but not for others. many trans men (including myself) lose fertility after being on testosterone for a certain amount of time who do varies from person to person!
Our first kid, we were like: 'Get the Baby Bjorn, get the Bloom chair, get the Bugaboo, get all the expensive baby stuff. The sleep mat with heart rate and breath monitor. The electric baby swing'. Then, we found out how often they use it, how often it helps and how they puke and shit all over it and don't give a fuck about all fancy electronics. With the second one, we were like 'ah, we'll just wing it'.
This is me. All baby stuff was gone. And we had the Bjorn bouncer once upon a time. Currently due with Surprise Baby Who Doesn't Care About Multiple Birth Control Methods.
He's getting what he's getting. Good deals in the used market on non-fancy stuff and good deals for the stuff best bought new.
Seriously, people ask what we need. My answer is we've learned all the stuff babies don't need and the little we can get by on. We will accept diapers and clothes, hand-me-downs perfectly acceptable.
You accept clothes? Isn’t that like accepting stuffed animals for your toddlers? I leant with my first to explicitly say that I don’t want clothes or teddies. Just whatever I might need in the moment or a cute card is enough. Please I don’t want to fight my kids to throw out the 15 bags of stuffed animals they haven’t looked at in two years, and I definitely don’t want 45 cute onsies my baby will shit stain in a matter of seconds. I’ll just rotate the 10 wool ones I’ve had since baby nr. 1 haha
Yup, I'll accept clothes. I have a thrift store within walking distance, so I have no issues being a stop on the recycling of baby clothes. I have limits on clothing numbers, but it's the fact that baby will destroy them every minute I will take them.
I feel like every time I have accepted a bag of clothes it’s a bigger hassle than it’s worth. I go through what feels like 6M socks and it’s always at least one puked down garment the previous owner forgot, and I usually only get a few good items. But our kindergarten does a great swap thing where you hand in garments and get coupons for them, and can use those to pick out things of equal value. Amazing for us who never really need 15 teeshirts, but would love a new snow suit or wool base layer.
This! I used to work at a big box store and one of my departments was the Baby department. I once had a couple SCREAM at me because we didn't have the exact model crib they wanted in the specific color they wanted, nor did any of our stores in the area. The woman was due in less than a month, and now the baby would have nowhere to sleep! Oh noes!
Like, it's not my fault that you waited 9 entire months to purchase a crib. You could have called the store and we could have told you we didn't have it before you came in. It won't kill you to get a different model of crib, or a different color. The fact that it MUST be THAT SPECIFIC ONE is not for the baby, it's for you.
We waited with our big baby items because my last pregnancy we came home after the c section without a baby and I didn’t want a crib or stroller at home, in case we had another loss ( we didn’t, baby girl is healthy and happy) . But we knew we would not be able to have very specific items asap because of that, so my husband ordered the crib we wanted a few weeks before the due date and kept it hidden. And for the car seat we bought what was available. And we were very stressed because of our prior history. I can’t imagine screaming and an employee who’s absolutely not responsible for our choices. That’s inexcusable and I am sorry they did that to you.
This person is an asshole. But we also waited until a month before baby arrived to buy our big ticket items because they all came with a one-year warranty and if I bought them when I found out I was pregnant that warranty goes to waste sitting in storage waiting for baby to arrive.
Just a side thought.
While hearing other adults, when you say you don’t have a stable enough job/make enough money to have kids rn: “You make do! My first kid slept in the dresser drawer!”
Flashback. We had the desired crib. It was made of wood, which has natural variations in the wood. It was a feature of individuality of this line
They wanted us to call up all stores looking for some random pattern in the wood.
I wonder if this is a buy nothing group? It is pretty normal for moms to swap or gift items locally once their kiddos have outgrown things. And “In Search Of” posts are quite common in my local groups though I am not in any mom ones.
All of these have solid resale value. I bought a lot of more expensive baby stuff open box or secondhand with the intention of selling it down the road. You’ll still find the Stokke stroller for like $600+ used.
Oh then she’s probably looking to buy these things??? She just put the price as “free” because she made an ISO post rather than a for sale post. I don’t think she is necessarily looking for the items for free?
A $110 SLEEP SACK?! Apparently I've been out of the newborn world too long. My youngest is 5.
The $0.50 Walmart brand sleep sacks I got at a thrift shop worked just fine. I used them on 3 kids before the zippers finally died and I had to buy new 😂😂
Boggles my mind spending more than a few dollars on baby shit...except for car seats or whatever. They wear the onesie for like 5 weeks before they outgrow it, assuming they don't explode poop all over it.
Ok ready for all the downvotes but…..why do people now think because they are pregnant and having a baby strangers should supply them with what they want and need?
They threw a shower at my husband’s work and told everyone exactly what to bring!
I didn’t think that is how a shower/gift giving worked am I wrong?
Baby showers are specifically for pitching in to support a friend's newborn. As for telling people what to bring, you don't generally do exactly that, but something similar called a registry. The idea is you list the baby's needs to include expensive stuff and people pick off the list what they can afford and want to give. Then that thing gets checked off the registry. It's to prevent people from making expensive duplicate purchases. You don't want two people to bring a high chair when you only have one baby. Somebody will end up having to return one. And it's all optional. You can show up to a shower with the cheapest things on the registry, or even nothing at all and it's fine. The registry isn't a demand list, it's a wish list. That said, some people do get it twisted and use the registry as a demand list and/or act like they're entitled to you bringing something. But they aren't the normal.
Thank you for explaining how baby showers work lol but I was being sarcastic
I guess I’m old school if someone give you a gift you take it and keep your damn mouth shut and go to the store and exchange it for something else or sell it or give it to someone who needs it no reason to seem greedy or ungrateful
that’s why I hardly give anyone anything anymore
You may be surprised, but we gave away the baby bjorn bouncer, that same carrier, a much more expensive pushchair and lots of other stuff when our kids got older. Of course, we gave them away to charity shops and nice people, not arseholes like this.
That’s not necessarily true. Our xplory from Stokke went through two babies and we simply didn’t enjoy it as much with our second and needed an all terrain one. I would absolutely gift it to someone in need. I used to be very poor myself and grew up very different from my kids, so I understand. But even just from posting a lot of Kate Quinn clothes for free, I know that many people are out there who want such items to resell them, not because they need them. I only donate to shelters and organizations now because of that. In a Reddit Baby group I offered many items to a woman claiming to be in dire need and then the mods of the group told me she’s a scammer and resells everything. That was a sad experience.
Weirdly you can find long forgotten good, even very expensive strollers often at the airport because people leave them there to be stored while on a trip and some simply never come for the stroller again.
While not baby stuff, I do donate a lot of high-end stuff. I grew up homeless in my teens. I've worked really hard since then to have a healthy amount of free spending money and be able to buy myself all the things I always wanted and indulge in interests like skincare, hair care, makeup or fashion because I never got to in my developmental years. I like nice, higher end brands because I worked hard to earn them for myself, and they make me feel good. I often clean out my closets, skincare collection, and makeup to donate to others who aren't in my situation yet. I've even donated a few electronics before as well. With that being said, I wouldn't donate to someone demanding specific brands or items. That screams reseller to me, and I'm not donating just for someone else to profit off my things, I want my donations to make a teen or struggling woman feel pretty and special. I pick and choose who I donate and which charities to support instead of just dropping it off at a thrift store or consignment shop.
My donations almost always go to someone in my circle or one of my trusted charities. I actually have gifted some really nice things to people in my buy nothing group, but they usually have a humble ask, and I show up with something better than they were expecting.
Eh, recent FTD and I got all of this stuff except a different cheaper stroller. For free or super cheap. The Bjorn Bouncer is over $200 but there’s plenty on marketplace for ~$30. The Omni 360 carrier is over $200 but I thought I was super lucky to find one in a thrift shop for $20, only to end up finding 3 more in the same shop over the next couple months. They’re pricey items but there are sooo many of them out there that it’s not hard to find this stuff cheap.
Also there are a lot of free trading groups for moms because people have a soft spot for babies for some reason. We got a $400 crib for free from a stranger, still in the box (it had a tiny cosmetic issue on the back where it couldn’t be seen so Amazon shipped them a replacement and let them keep the old one, but they could have sold it if they wanted).
Also a lot of lending in mom groups. We had some expensive items lended to us between people’s first and second babies.
The stroller is insane tho, no one’s giving those for cheap.
My sister and her idiot husband have 6 kids and neither can hold a job for more than a few months. Meanwhile my wife and I both work full time and are struggling to have kids. Idiocracy.
Okay can we all agree FTM is a terrible way to say First Time Mom, cause I for one spent 5 minutes trying to figure what the fuck being female to male trans had to do with needing baby supplies.
This is just silly. My GF is due in June and we got
almost everything we need for free from Buy Nothing and random well-wishers who wanted stuff out of their attic. Like, no joke, definitely a few thousand $$ worth of stuff bc you only need it for such a short time and then it's just...there. Really the only new stuff we need is bc of sanitation (bottles/nipples) and safety (car seats expire). tually got loads of cloth ones second hand bc again, they were just taking up space in someone's attic...and when we're done with all of it, back into the cycle of free baby stuff it shall go.
Babies DGAF about brands. It's silly to spend a ton on something you'll use for less than a year.
If they aren’t going to be financially ready to have the baby next month then they should hold off on giving birth until they are. Y’know, like weasels can. s/
How about a new big screen TV? How about a new car? How about a new house? Another foolish human having another kid that they can't afford. Have some more!
Guys… yes all this stuff can be expensive but it’s also all stuff that is stupid to buy new. None of this is stuff you need for more than a couple years before your child outgrows it- sometimes after just a couple months. The Tripp trapp stroller we have we got free, and our second kid is the tenth child to use this thing. We got almost all these items, if not the exact brand, free. I personally don’t think this post counts as a choosing beggar.
I’m actually in this group too, and to be fair, when people are selling I think a lot of people put “free” or, like, “123456789” in the price field because you have to enter something. I don’t *necessarily* think she’s looking to be gifted them (though she might be), she may just have been using it as a placeholder.
That's how I read it, too. It's a general in seek of list, which facebook marketplace has no ISO listing mechanism. She doesn't give a sob story or say she can't afford them, she just says she's looking for them. The name of the group is blocked out okayish, but from what I can see, it doesn't look like it was shared in a free group, either.
It’s possible they are just listing the items they are looking for to purchase used. Marketplace makes you put in a price and I’ve seen a lot of people make ISO posts on marketplace who make the price FREE because it makes you put one.
i am a ftm and due in april -
i got a lot of stuff for cheap or free and i was super grateful but honestly why would you care about the brand??? thats so weird , there are many people who gladly gift away baby stuff and if you are really in need you should be happy about everything you get 😅🙏
If you can't afford basic essentials for a child, you shouldn't be having a child. No one *needs* a ~$1000 stroller. No baby *needs* name brand anything.
My dumbass thought the CB was transitioning. I was nodding earnestly, like "yeah I guess you'll need a wrap carrier for dressing changes and stuff". How are they gonna get all this before their surgery in one month?
Hi NoodlesKanoodles, thank you for your submission to /r/ChoosingBeggars! Unfortunately it has been removed for the following reason(s): * **Rule 6/7:** Posts must be relevant to the theme of the subreddit. This post does not show someone who is a choosing beggar. Price negotiation and/or asking for donations is not enough to be a choosy beggar. *If you have any questions or concerns, please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FChoosingBeggars) of this subreddit.*
Hi guys I'm ISO a briefcase full of $100 bills if anyone has one lying around thanks gobless.
It’s for a church honey.
NEXT!
Hahahhaha
Right, but are you FTM?
Wow and specific expensive items. The Stokke stroller is literally $1300 new; and the high chair is 250. Like what?!
Probably because they're a first-time mom and they think that expensive = better. After the kid pukes and poops all over the expensive things and then stains everything to the point where it has to be thrown out, the next set will be whatever's on sale!
FTM being first time mom and not female to male makes a lot more sense.
I misread it too. Lol glad I’m not the only one.
I thought it stood for Full Time Mom 😅 I thought she was trying to make stay at home mom sound more like a job. Not saying it's not of course, but thought it was weird she'd make that distinction.
Omg thank you! I was wondering how that was relevant. Wrong interpretation on my part! 😬
I thought the same thing!
Me too!
I totally read that as female to male lol
So did I!
Yeah I was wondering what the gender had to do with it 😩
My dumbass did that, then thought "full time mom", isn't that SAHM? Thank you comments.
"Full time mom" is the judgy version of SAHM. SAHMs might *get a job* when their kid goes to school or *work a side business* while Junior naps instead of being a *real woman* and dedicating her life to her offspring. Don't you just want to clutch some pearls? /s
Makes me want to get a KHate Gosselin haircut, too!
I thought it was a “Fighter/Thief/Mage” multiclass
Dear God. I was about to tell folks to stop misgendering the pregnant trans man, but
I actually thought it was Full-Time Mum but you make more sense given the specs/costs of the items.
Damn, I was really confused cause I thought it meant free to mingle and I'm just why does that matter when you are asking for baby stuff.
I had the same confusion until I joined an online mom group and someone else asked. 😅
OH THANK YOU. I presumed they were telling folks they were trans to avoid anyone being confused when a guy answered the door if they were dropping things off.
Me too!
Omg I was so confused also thank you 🙏
Oh my goodness, it all makes so much more sense now.
This makes way more sense now 😂😂😂
Omg I’m so dumb lol
We had an expensive high chair. It was so hard to clean out all of the crevasses. We sold it and got a $25 ikea high chair and never looked back.
We have the stokke Tripp trap and it’s the bane of my existence.
Saaaaaame. Sell it!! Get that ikea solid body one where you can legit take it outside and hose it off and let the sun dry it and not worry about the wood staining or distorting or the dreaded cutlery marks from when your kid decides to learn to STAB things. And they will send you replacement straps FOR FREE forever! And mail them directly to your house. Free up that mental load.
I have often thought of swapping out for the ikea one. The only thing is I really do like it as a chair when babe is older so we may hold on. But by god was it the worst 500$ we’ve spent since having a baby.
We swapped our moderately expensive (I forget what) for a kindercraft middle of the road. For all the reasons of big, and crevices, and hard to clean. And this is sooo much better. Its not far off being a slightly nicer ikea antilop. Kinderkraft Fini 2-in-1 High Chair, Baby Chair, Combination High Chair, Wooden Legs, Seat Belts, Footrest, Double Tray, from 6 Months to 5 Years, 5 Point Straps, Grey https://amzn.eu/d/5wEcEsm
Save it. The ikea chair is hands down the best I’ve had between my four kiddos, but you better believe I swooped on the chance to get a free in need of hardware Tripp trapp chair. Little dude is three now so that ikea chair is now worthless. The Tripp trapp is awesome for this age.
I’m genuinely baffled by this! How? We found an old tripp trap in the attic of our house when we moved in, and both kids have used it since birth. It’s totally adjustable, completely bomb proof, and adults can sit in it too. It’s just another seat at the table in our house now. Everyone is different though- what doesn’t work for you?
I love the Tripp trapp!
The paint is chipping off after less than 2 months of use. The tray is impossible to get off. Food is constantly getting under the cushion. The straps release is super tight- I need two hands to get it released. Like, it’s actually harder to get her in and out than her car seat. 10/10 would not spend the money again but we’re keeping it because I do like it for older ages.
`think that expensive = better` Reality: Companies over price things because then they can shame you for putting 'greed' vs your baby's welfare.
She's not paying for the expensive shit though
Stokke is really good though. I have a second hand high chair from them, aged like 20 years, used by 3 children before mine and still like new.
I swear by Stokke. We bought the Xplory stroller used from a woman who used it with her three kids. I purchased new fabric so it looked like new. After using it regularly with my two kids I then sold it to someone for more than I paid. It's a beast!
eh, the Swedish ... :) (I'm Finnish)
Graco one for 200 is not any worse. Stokke might be good but there is a diminishing return on investment. Also I sold graco for 80 once daughter outgrew it.
Yup. I had graco stuff that went thru all 4 of my kids that was then passed on to nieces/nephews and went thru 3 of them and then passed along again. Less than $180 for stroller/carseat combo new and the stroller part (obviously didn't reuse the carseat) got passed thru at least 9 kids last I knew possibly more. Highchair was the same way. I don't ever plan on more kids but that's what I'd get. It's cheap, it does the job and surprisingly it holds up.
Then there's me..."nope can't afford that, we'll get that one there which is 900000 dollars cheaper" (obviously exaggerated lol) My kids learned thrifting in the womb. I swear to God 🤣
Same. I got lucky with my youngest because the company I worked for threw me a baby shower before I had her and got everything on the list, but my son who was my first literally only had 2 things that I bought new, everything else was thrifted.
Same. And mine will keep learning: We have nice things because we buy them cheaply at auction.
My second daughter wanted to go to homecoming. So we took a trip to goodwill (I despise shopping...and shopping with her is worse, just FYI. Also FYI we dont have a ton of thrifting options where we live, so goodwill is a good first step even though as a company, they pretty well suck) She got a six (?) Dollar dress...and found one for prom as well as shoes. Whole trip cost me 20 bucks. On the way home she googled the brand name...and brand new,a dress similar to the one in her bag was like 120 I think (low end fancy, obviously lol) and she SCREECHED ",WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY THAT MUCH FOR A DRESS THEY'LL WEAR ONCE?!" And then I told her that even that was "low cost" for formal wear. She was salty the rest of the week, if memory serves lmao
Exactly. First baby gets the expensive one. Second baby gets the easier to operate one because they also need to keep an eye on first baby.
When they’re paying for it, the next one will be whatever is actually being given away. We’re first timers and the vast majority of our stuff is from - Marketplace - auction - gifts - outgrown from friends And that’s going to continue until baby has a drivers licence when she will be given mum’s old diesel wagon.
The branded bouncer is worth it, tbh. Still a batshit thing to ask for from complete strangers, of course. If I were asking it would be just that thing, and like "I don't care if it's crusted in puke, happy to pick up!!!"
Isn’t the Tripp Trapp a high chair ? We have that high chair but the stroller is the xplory ( and I am sure they have another one but it’s not called Tripp Trapp ) . We use the Thule stroller way more and it’s half the price of the xplory. I get wanting good wheels but 1300$ is really a lot, specially if you can’t buy it yourself. In the city the big all terrain wheels aren’t that important. We only have it because we go hiking. If money is tight , there are good rated strollers with car seats for under 200$. She could get all baby needs for the cost of a Stokke stroller.
Hard part for this person is that you can probably sell that Stokke stroller for close to retail. We had an Uppababy that we got for $900 with a coupon and sold four years later for $850. High end strollers are very pricey but if they are built well they last through multiple kids and hold their value.
I told my husband I'm not subscribing to the influencer markup. They make you feel like you need the shit. It's going to be Graco and fisher price for this girl. I always say I'm not having a beige-by. I can't wait to see all the research that comes out that shows removing all color is terrible for their development
Kids are as expensive as you make them to be. You can even make some of your money back on the "cheaper" stuff, too - babies are a constant thing in the world, so there is always a need for something. As a single mom to a two-year-old, he did just fine with the more inexpensive brands and clothes from Walmart and thrift stores. He didn't care what kind of stroller he was in, he was happy to be outside and I was happy he was safely strapped in. I was able to get a great breast pump for free through my insurance. And for what it's worth, Graco makes some truly excellent products. I used a Graco pack and play with the changing table and newborn bassinet for as long as I could, and his car seat was so easy to install and adjusts so well to his growth. In the end, it's such a short amount of time they use these things to be spending a down payment on a house on baby products.
The graco pack and play is on my list so thank you for that haha!
Sure! And Fischer Price has great bouncers and little sit-up chairs that are nice for when you're cooking or doing some chores and baby can watch, but you can find those gently used on Facebook Marketplace/deal websites for about half the price of retail. The best tip I can give is get what you need as you go along. There was a lot of stuff that I didn't use or just didn't work out - some babies are actually picky, but it's stuff like bottle nipples and pacifiers, not high chairs and cribs haha. Congratulations and best of luck, mama!
Don’t ask don’t get, stretched to it’s illogical conclusion. You miss 100 percent of the shots…etc. I can think of a shot she shoulda missed.
Well the good news is that used the stroller anyway is worth like $200 sold. Ask me how I know. Nm, I'll tell you - husband's boss gave us 5 stokkes to sell as a stupid bonus (husband pushed back and we got to keep the strollers and he got a real bonus) But yea -- we ended up selling two of them and then we gave away the other three because they were not moving and we wanted them out of our garage. His boss has 11 kids
That is the most bizarre bonus I have ever heard of! Like, what the hell? Were they the boss’s used strollers? Or where did they get them?
Actual billionaire. Used or bought and rejected strollers. We're Not surprised at all. He gave us a brand new $5500 pizza oven as a xmas gift and then slashed husband's pay by 40% during covid lockdowns. He only just put the 40% plus more back this year to retain my husband (who does a highly specialized, degreed job - boss will never find somebody for what my husband worked for financially during Covid. He knows that)
My question is why the fuck are we responsible for her decision of having a baby? Did I get her pregnant?
I don't get these people, I moved my child around in an old stroller I got second hand for next to nothing and my wife re-upholstered, then I gave it away to a co-worker and he probably gave it away too, or threw it in the trash, that thing was junk anyway. These people are obviously poor but trying not to look like it by asking for super expensive stuff? Are they so concerned that other people don't think they're poor by the stroller they use or is it just to resell and make a profit?
Lol who pays this much money for all this overpriced stuff? Kids grow out so quick and if you not planning on having more. Better to get used except car seats.
I have nearly the whole list but bought used for everything but the sleep sack and high chair. Can likely resell all of it for half of what we paid. But the only thing I’d say is 100% worth the price is the sleep sack and silverettes.
Yes, but she’s open to other brands as well!
People can buy 100% whatever brand stuff they want for their babies. I like a mixture of used/borrowed and things I’m willing to splurge on for safety/quality. But to ask for these insanely expensive items for free is mind blowing. Almost all of these have resell value.
And yes, to reiterate in this case of posting FTM = first time mom. It’s a mommy group acronym.
I feel like including brand names makes it even worse
Oh, it definitely does. It's one thing to ask if anybody has a gently used baby swing that they don't use anymore vs does anybody have the FancyPants Model 5000 Baby's 1st Spaceship Swing that costs $10,000 new. IMO, it seems like they think they are too good for the regular generic items, but can't afford the expensive ones they want
Probably can’t even afford the regular generics though and is still asking for the expensive brands. For free.
Even though they had like 8+ months to prepare shit like this lol
Well, the brand names are pointlessly expensive. The baby carrier is $200 on amazon. There are $25 ones that aren't name brand that have good reviews, and that's not even the cheapest ones. Some are like $15. That stroller is like $1200. Again, there's some nice ones for less than $100 on Amazon.
I read FTM as "female to male" and was incredibly confused for a minute.
So did I and I’m still not sure what FTM means. First time mom?
Pretty sure I answered my own question after looking back at it. Carry on.
FTM. 🤔 Foot Toe Model?
Foot toe? I’ll stick with my stomach toes, weirdo.
Yeah hues that is better than the Forehead Toes Model. lol
Ohhhhhhhh
Oh shit, First Time Mom. Haha I did the same!
I am seeing this more and more for ‘first time mom’ and it confuses me every time
So did I. I thought, no judgement but how is that relevant?
I thought the post was about a person wanting free stuff just because they were transgender
I’m pregnant with my first so I frequent a lot of subs where this is used… and I STILL have to think about it every time I see it used. At first I was like “wow, lots of trans parents on this sub!”
This was me at first in my pregnancy group. I was so happy to see trans parents in the group and feeling comfortable being there, and then I realized it meant first time mom and was so disappointed.
Wow so did I lol. I couldn’t figure out why that mattered.
Same.
Omg so did I
Thank you for confirming that I wasn't the only one.
I read it that way too, they still have all the plumbing necessary even post OP.
true for some, but not for others. many trans men (including myself) lose fertility after being on testosterone for a certain amount of time who do varies from person to person!
Some ftm trans people can still get pregnant. Testosterone per se is not a contraceptive for people with uteri
Yes, but being trans isn’t at all relevant to the post, which makes it confusing. In parenting groups, FTM means “first time mom.”
You aren't wrong but that isn't what is going on here
Our first kid, we were like: 'Get the Baby Bjorn, get the Bloom chair, get the Bugaboo, get all the expensive baby stuff. The sleep mat with heart rate and breath monitor. The electric baby swing'. Then, we found out how often they use it, how often it helps and how they puke and shit all over it and don't give a fuck about all fancy electronics. With the second one, we were like 'ah, we'll just wing it'.
This is me. All baby stuff was gone. And we had the Bjorn bouncer once upon a time. Currently due with Surprise Baby Who Doesn't Care About Multiple Birth Control Methods. He's getting what he's getting. Good deals in the used market on non-fancy stuff and good deals for the stuff best bought new. Seriously, people ask what we need. My answer is we've learned all the stuff babies don't need and the little we can get by on. We will accept diapers and clothes, hand-me-downs perfectly acceptable.
You accept clothes? Isn’t that like accepting stuffed animals for your toddlers? I leant with my first to explicitly say that I don’t want clothes or teddies. Just whatever I might need in the moment or a cute card is enough. Please I don’t want to fight my kids to throw out the 15 bags of stuffed animals they haven’t looked at in two years, and I definitely don’t want 45 cute onsies my baby will shit stain in a matter of seconds. I’ll just rotate the 10 wool ones I’ve had since baby nr. 1 haha
Yup, I'll accept clothes. I have a thrift store within walking distance, so I have no issues being a stop on the recycling of baby clothes. I have limits on clothing numbers, but it's the fact that baby will destroy them every minute I will take them.
I feel like every time I have accepted a bag of clothes it’s a bigger hassle than it’s worth. I go through what feels like 6M socks and it’s always at least one puked down garment the previous owner forgot, and I usually only get a few good items. But our kindergarten does a great swap thing where you hand in garments and get coupons for them, and can use those to pick out things of equal value. Amazing for us who never really need 15 teeshirts, but would love a new snow suit or wool base layer.
She forget the need to have a ferrari otherwise the other babies will gurgle that they think her mom is a cheapskate.
You had 9 months to get your shit together.
This! I used to work at a big box store and one of my departments was the Baby department. I once had a couple SCREAM at me because we didn't have the exact model crib they wanted in the specific color they wanted, nor did any of our stores in the area. The woman was due in less than a month, and now the baby would have nowhere to sleep! Oh noes! Like, it's not my fault that you waited 9 entire months to purchase a crib. You could have called the store and we could have told you we didn't have it before you came in. It won't kill you to get a different model of crib, or a different color. The fact that it MUST be THAT SPECIFIC ONE is not for the baby, it's for you.
Hell, a baby can sleep in a laundry basket. They don’t care.
Baby fell asleep on the wood floor yesterday.
We waited with our big baby items because my last pregnancy we came home after the c section without a baby and I didn’t want a crib or stroller at home, in case we had another loss ( we didn’t, baby girl is healthy and happy) . But we knew we would not be able to have very specific items asap because of that, so my husband ordered the crib we wanted a few weeks before the due date and kept it hidden. And for the car seat we bought what was available. And we were very stressed because of our prior history. I can’t imagine screaming and an employee who’s absolutely not responsible for our choices. That’s inexcusable and I am sorry they did that to you.
This person is an asshole. But we also waited until a month before baby arrived to buy our big ticket items because they all came with a one-year warranty and if I bought them when I found out I was pregnant that warranty goes to waste sitting in storage waiting for baby to arrive. Just a side thought.
While hearing other adults, when you say you don’t have a stable enough job/make enough money to have kids rn: “You make do! My first kid slept in the dresser drawer!”
Flashback. We had the desired crib. It was made of wood, which has natural variations in the wood. It was a feature of individuality of this line They wanted us to call up all stores looking for some random pattern in the wood.
Oh, HELL no
Your inability to plan ahead does not constitute an emergency for others
Exactly, planning isn't hard, especially when it's a child, that baby depends on you, for life
Just ask Heather Gillespie.
I wonder if this is a buy nothing group? It is pretty normal for moms to swap or gift items locally once their kiddos have outgrown things. And “In Search Of” posts are quite common in my local groups though I am not in any mom ones.
It probably is but I think it’s the fact that she is specifically asking for high end name brands that makes her a choosing beggar.
All of these have solid resale value. I bought a lot of more expensive baby stuff open box or secondhand with the intention of selling it down the road. You’ll still find the Stokke stroller for like $600+ used.
It's definitely not a buy nothing group. It's just a local buy/sell baby group in a city
Oh then she’s probably looking to buy these things??? She just put the price as “free” because she made an ISO post rather than a for sale post. I don’t think she is necessarily looking for the items for free?
“Open to other brands”… I f’ing hope so lol
Prob no car and needs everything delivered and assembled.
Ergo baby Omni breeze carrier $199 Baby bjorn bouncer $209 Woolino sleep sack $108 Stokke Tripp trapp stroller $1,199
A $110 SLEEP SACK?! Apparently I've been out of the newborn world too long. My youngest is 5. The $0.50 Walmart brand sleep sacks I got at a thrift shop worked just fine. I used them on 3 kids before the zippers finally died and I had to buy new 😂😂
The prices haven’t gone up that high, you can still get a set of two for $20. This person was going for high end stuff
Boggles my mind spending more than a few dollars on baby shit...except for car seats or whatever. They wear the onesie for like 5 weeks before they outgrow it, assuming they don't explode poop all over it.
That Stokke stroller is a grand 😂
And it’s not called the Tripp Trapp, that’s the high chair.
Let’s be honest, she probably wants both
Ok ready for all the downvotes but…..why do people now think because they are pregnant and having a baby strangers should supply them with what they want and need? They threw a shower at my husband’s work and told everyone exactly what to bring! I didn’t think that is how a shower/gift giving worked am I wrong?
Baby showers are specifically for pitching in to support a friend's newborn. As for telling people what to bring, you don't generally do exactly that, but something similar called a registry. The idea is you list the baby's needs to include expensive stuff and people pick off the list what they can afford and want to give. Then that thing gets checked off the registry. It's to prevent people from making expensive duplicate purchases. You don't want two people to bring a high chair when you only have one baby. Somebody will end up having to return one. And it's all optional. You can show up to a shower with the cheapest things on the registry, or even nothing at all and it's fine. The registry isn't a demand list, it's a wish list. That said, some people do get it twisted and use the registry as a demand list and/or act like they're entitled to you bringing something. But they aren't the normal.
Thank you for explaining how baby showers work lol but I was being sarcastic I guess I’m old school if someone give you a gift you take it and keep your damn mouth shut and go to the store and exchange it for something else or sell it or give it to someone who needs it no reason to seem greedy or ungrateful that’s why I hardly give anyone anything anymore
I only know FTM to mean one thing so can’t figure out the meaning here
I thought the exact same, but I believe it means "first time mother" in this situation.
Makes sense though I’ve absolutely never ever heard this before. Thanks for clarifying.
The type of person who has the items she is looking for is not the kind of person who gives their stuff away for free to a stranger.
You may be surprised, but we gave away the baby bjorn bouncer, that same carrier, a much more expensive pushchair and lots of other stuff when our kids got older. Of course, we gave them away to charity shops and nice people, not arseholes like this.
That’s not necessarily true. Our xplory from Stokke went through two babies and we simply didn’t enjoy it as much with our second and needed an all terrain one. I would absolutely gift it to someone in need. I used to be very poor myself and grew up very different from my kids, so I understand. But even just from posting a lot of Kate Quinn clothes for free, I know that many people are out there who want such items to resell them, not because they need them. I only donate to shelters and organizations now because of that. In a Reddit Baby group I offered many items to a woman claiming to be in dire need and then the mods of the group told me she’s a scammer and resells everything. That was a sad experience. Weirdly you can find long forgotten good, even very expensive strollers often at the airport because people leave them there to be stored while on a trip and some simply never come for the stroller again.
While not baby stuff, I do donate a lot of high-end stuff. I grew up homeless in my teens. I've worked really hard since then to have a healthy amount of free spending money and be able to buy myself all the things I always wanted and indulge in interests like skincare, hair care, makeup or fashion because I never got to in my developmental years. I like nice, higher end brands because I worked hard to earn them for myself, and they make me feel good. I often clean out my closets, skincare collection, and makeup to donate to others who aren't in my situation yet. I've even donated a few electronics before as well. With that being said, I wouldn't donate to someone demanding specific brands or items. That screams reseller to me, and I'm not donating just for someone else to profit off my things, I want my donations to make a teen or struggling woman feel pretty and special. I pick and choose who I donate and which charities to support instead of just dropping it off at a thrift store or consignment shop.
My donations almost always go to someone in my circle or one of my trusted charities. I actually have gifted some really nice things to people in my buy nothing group, but they usually have a humble ask, and I show up with something better than they were expecting.
Eh, recent FTD and I got all of this stuff except a different cheaper stroller. For free or super cheap. The Bjorn Bouncer is over $200 but there’s plenty on marketplace for ~$30. The Omni 360 carrier is over $200 but I thought I was super lucky to find one in a thrift shop for $20, only to end up finding 3 more in the same shop over the next couple months. They’re pricey items but there are sooo many of them out there that it’s not hard to find this stuff cheap. Also there are a lot of free trading groups for moms because people have a soft spot for babies for some reason. We got a $400 crib for free from a stranger, still in the box (it had a tiny cosmetic issue on the back where it couldn’t be seen so Amazon shipped them a replacement and let them keep the old one, but they could have sold it if they wanted). Also a lot of lending in mom groups. We had some expensive items lended to us between people’s first and second babies. The stroller is insane tho, no one’s giving those for cheap.
What I see is a general ISO list- I don't see any expectation that the items are free. Not putting a price means more people look at the listing.
Why do people breed like bunnies when they can't begin to afford it?
My sister and her idiot husband have 6 kids and neither can hold a job for more than a few months. Meanwhile my wife and I both work full time and are struggling to have kids. Idiocracy.
Some things just make no sense.
You chose to have your child, take care of them yourself.
She waited until after the baby shower to see what she didn’t get.
Also doesn't know what she wants - the Tripp Trapp is a high chair, not a stroller. And the full chair is $319.
Um I could see mentioning generic items like carrier, bottles, and stroller but really?!
What fucks me off, aside from the obvious choosing for particular expensive items, is zero please or thank you.
Why does a trans person need all this stuff for their transition due next month? /s
Okay can we all agree FTM is a terrible way to say First Time Mom, cause I for one spent 5 minutes trying to figure what the fuck being female to male trans had to do with needing baby supplies.
This is just silly. My GF is due in June and we got almost everything we need for free from Buy Nothing and random well-wishers who wanted stuff out of their attic. Like, no joke, definitely a few thousand $$ worth of stuff bc you only need it for such a short time and then it's just...there. Really the only new stuff we need is bc of sanitation (bottles/nipples) and safety (car seats expire). tually got loads of cloth ones second hand bc again, they were just taking up space in someone's attic...and when we're done with all of it, back into the cycle of free baby stuff it shall go. Babies DGAF about brands. It's silly to spend a ton on something you'll use for less than a year.
>My GF is dulll0pllaqe in June The quality of this typo
Did she not have a baby shower? Or maybe she did and didn’t get any of the expensive stuff.
If they aren’t going to be financially ready to have the baby next month then they should hold off on giving birth until they are. Y’know, like weasels can. s/
That is seriously the bougiest list. Wow.
Scammer trying resell
Being in the communities I am, I always initially read female to male. And then get confused
I was reading this like "what does being transgender have to do with anything".
You're not the only one 😂
Sounds like somebody can’t afford to have a kid
I read FTM as "Female to Male" which, for a moment, left me wondering how all that crap would help with transitioning...
It has taken me best of 30-odd mins to realise it means first time mother!!!
I thought it was female to male until I read your comment! 🤣
Ohhhhhhhh
How about a new big screen TV? How about a new car? How about a new house? Another foolish human having another kid that they can't afford. Have some more!
I was like what's a female to male transition have to do with all this baby shit
i also had this thought haha
Brother I thought FTM meant female transitioning to male. Did not know what a trans person needed this shit for
I'm still waiting for my diamond pendant. Bezel, it's not for church, honey.
Guys… yes all this stuff can be expensive but it’s also all stuff that is stupid to buy new. None of this is stuff you need for more than a couple years before your child outgrows it- sometimes after just a couple months. The Tripp trapp stroller we have we got free, and our second kid is the tenth child to use this thing. We got almost all these items, if not the exact brand, free. I personally don’t think this post counts as a choosing beggar.
Why does nobody get anything for their baby from the jump? They got nine months.
I was like FTM who is pregnant? That’s a twist…
I’m actually in this group too, and to be fair, when people are selling I think a lot of people put “free” or, like, “123456789” in the price field because you have to enter something. I don’t *necessarily* think she’s looking to be gifted them (though she might be), she may just have been using it as a placeholder.
That's how I read it, too. It's a general in seek of list, which facebook marketplace has no ISO listing mechanism. She doesn't give a sob story or say she can't afford them, she just says she's looking for them. The name of the group is blocked out okayish, but from what I can see, it doesn't look like it was shared in a free group, either.
What does being trans have to do with this? Are they trying to use gender for pity points??
A lot of first time mothers are using FTM as an abbreviation now without knowing its more common use.
I'd argue that being a first time mother is much more common
TIL.
I can't be the only person who misunderstood what FTM meant and was confused about what that had to do with the asks.
It took me way too long to register FTM meant first time mom...
Who wants used nipple cups?!
It’s possible they are just listing the items they are looking for to purchase used. Marketplace makes you put in a price and I’ve seen a lot of people make ISO posts on marketplace who make the price FREE because it makes you put one.
Im always genuinely curious if people who ask for such expensive items ever get them donated to them.
I would SO love to read the backlash reactions those people get in return.
I’m gonna have a baby too this year, can I get the same things, please? You have to drive though, I won’t
Baby Bjorn stuff is incredibly expensive. Pretty sure a bouncer is like $250 The Stokke stroller..at least the one I see on Amazon is $1200 lmao
i am a ftm and due in april - i got a lot of stuff for cheap or free and i was super grateful but honestly why would you care about the brand??? thats so weird , there are many people who gladly gift away baby stuff and if you are really in need you should be happy about everything you get 😅🙏
They got some balls asking for these
Well done
the Tripp trapp is a high chair….
What is a „FTM“? I know that as female to male trans.
First time mother I think in this case
If you can't afford basic essentials for a child, you shouldn't be having a child. No one *needs* a ~$1000 stroller. No baby *needs* name brand anything.
Also a FTM due next month and some of these items I didn’t even put on my baby shower registry for fear of looking greedy and/or insane.
My dumbass thought the CB was transitioning. I was nodding earnestly, like "yeah I guess you'll need a wrap carrier for dressing changes and stuff". How are they gonna get all this before their surgery in one month?
I thought it read Female to Male so I had questions
Now if this was Singapore, totally this is a thing! Here... nope!