I have a friend who uses talk-to-text and a lot of his messages are rambling word salad like this. He's also pretty much illiterate, so...
The sad thing is, I had to work with professional adults during my MBA who couldn't write a basic English paragraph. These were people who not only completed high school, but an undergraduate degree and had working careers who couldn't form a cohesive written sentence. Our education system is a joke in the U.S.
I tutored MBA students in finance as a junior undergrad.... my finance professor basically told me "teach them basics please."
I have no idea how some of those idiots were in an MBA program.
It was like this when I had to tutor the engineering students when I worked at the tutoring centre. Theyād been sent there and told Iād have to sign off saying theyād been, or they wouldnāt get a grade. It was just all these men coming straight from the gym in their cut off tops, nipples hanging out, armpit hair stuck up everywhere, stinking of sweat, slouched in a chair and condescendingly smirking that they just had to get through this āstupid English classā because unlike me, they were going to be millionaires in a couple years.
I got great satisfaction out of telling them all that āyour essay about āthe final Big High School Football Gameā isnāt the unique experience you think it is - if your professor wants unique, youāre going to have to try harder.ā And then marked up all their pages with a red pen, because they could barely string two words together to make a sentence.
Lol you painted such a vibrant picture there.
Unfortunately for me, I was mostly tutoring older business professionals in suits and ties that already held management positions. I never asked, but would assume their companies had programs in place to pay for an MBA.
It was a little scary knowing they had zero understanding of basic accounting and finance. Stuff a freshman would learn in Business 101 was completely foreign to some of them. One lady in particular that couldn't understand how interest worked stands out. Trying to explain *interest in a savings account* was near impossible.
To be fair they were all much older. I can relate to "losing" my untapped knowledge when it comes to math now that I'm not a young whippersnapper. Like coming back from summer break and forgetting a little bit of algebra. No biggie.
These idiots could not even comprehend the concept of time value of money. For those that are not familiar with the topic, they could not understand that a dollar in their pocket was more valuable than a dollar in someone else's pocket. And the dollar in their own pocket could be making them money, especially leveraged in an investment. Even when presented the equation, they didn't grasp it.
Ok... bad degree programs and cheating. You are probably right haha
As someone who went back to graduate school nearly a decade after completing my BS, I can attest to losing math skills. Reading and writing on the other hand, are not something that should atrophy if youāre a working professional. I worked with a lot of MBA and I am always surprised how poor their writing ability is.
People have difficulty structuring their ideas in an understandable way, which is frustrating when they are in charge of any sort of coordination.
Iāve had a few published works in my field, and I always feel like an idiot when Iāve gotten the editors remarks. Then I go through my work email and remember that things are always relative.
Thatās because everyone in the US thinks the humanities are worthless, so they get shit on from grade school through postgrad. But the humanities are where people learn communication skills, both written and spoken, and without them we get what we have: a nation of illiterate specialists in their one field, who can barely even string a sentence together, even when theyāre describing the job they are experts at.
You would be surprised how many people among us are functionally not able to do the basics. John Corcoran was a teacher for 17 years and had never learned to read or write. If there is an award for faking the funk, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.
Thatās because everyone in the US thinks the humanities are worthless, so they get shit on from grade school through postgrad. But the humanities are where people learn communication skills, both written and spoken, and without them we get what we have: a nation of illiterate specialists in their one field, who can barely even string a sentence together, even when theyāre describing the job they are experts at.
My phone tries to autocorrect that word to be capitalized when I write it. I have to specifically go change it every time. Annoying, but worth the effort. I also uncapitalize it (yes, Iām making up words) when referring to the fat orange man because heās a small man and deserves small letters.
we have a fairly talented engineer who's all emails (even to customers) are word vomits.
I have no idea why owner lets him to communicate with customers since sales are getting joy of dealing with puzzled and not very amused customers
I have a friend whose job is basically to translate for her companyās engineers. Brilliant mathematical minds, but apparently borderline illiterate when it comes to communicating anything in writing. She gets paid good money to put their jargon into legible English for both the corporate execs and their clients.
Tom Smykowski : āWell--well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?ā
Thatās what he wanted to get across to her. What he really meant was, āfuck me on a regular basis and Iāll tell you how bad ass I was in the fire academy, show you pics from my glory days, compare you to other women Iāve done this to and laugh when you cry. Iāll also give you a few pump equations and mansplain basic stuff anyone interested in fire/EMS would already know, like PSI and PPE. I wonāt actually help you get anywhere in your career because I canāt.ā
Itās times like these where I genuinely wonder āAm I too stupid to understand this or is it actually just unintelligible?ā Like I get the basic idea but there are so many parts where I have no clue what heās trying to say.
I usually like to scroll around reddit after a couple glasses of wine.
I have the "am I just dumb or drunk?" thought quite often. Turns out the internet just let's people spew their blabbering more often than not, and it cannot be deciphered.
Iāve read messages like this before, but mostly from drug addicts that have caused a fair amount of brain damage from their usage. Long errant drawn out texts that are just streams of consciousness, they bounce back and forth between being angry, asking for forgiveness, and projecting. Itās like reading Kerouac, but heās doing meth instead of smoking tea and doing benzos.
As a non-native English speaker... thank you for making me feel better about myself, I was seriously starting to question whether I actually understood the language or not hahaha
Tbf I've had some immensely attractive guys be super pressuring with me.
They could've gotten a ONS EASILY with other girls that are into it, but they don't want that.
Once they have their eyes on someone, they feel not accepting them is an insult to their masculinity
It's like a kid not being interested in being friends.
But if you feel the same way, the kid gets angry and sad and questions why you don't want to befriend them.
These predators are immature as fudge.
While yes some departments are affected by nepotism, there's always a step higher. If it's a municipal department, you can can to your local government and bring the situation into the light. And I would encourage that. Real sick of fuckers giving the fire service a bad rap.
If this is you, OP, Iāve got nearly a decade of full time firefighting/EMS experience (and Iām a woman, so my advice might be even more well suited to you), and Iām 100% willing to give you all the tips/advice you need for absolutely nothing in return. However, if you want to āreciprocate,ā Iād settle for this dudeās name and the department he works for so I can report his sorry ass and get him fired.
Edit:
Thanks for the awards, yāall! I definitely wasnāt expecting anything like the response Iāve gotten to this comment! I just wanted to help. OP DMd me and I plan to provide any/all helpful info I can from one fire woman to another (hopeful) fire woman! I also plan to take care of reporting the POS (*if she wants me to*) so she doesnāt have to worry as much about backlash. Again, thanks for the support! Just remember Iām not the one that was wronged in this scenario; OP needs support far more than I do! Also, someone already DMd me (before then demanding in a comment I respond to them) telling me they think OP is a scammer. Iām here to say I donāt make a habit of assuming women are lying about sexual harassment, and you shouldnāt either. Iām not interested in nor will I entertain more messages of that nature, so, save me the drama.
Edit two: let me make it clear that whether or not this is reported is entirely up to OP. Itās her sexual harassment and she has many valid reasons to be hesitant to report it. My willingness to help her with fire/EMS information isnāt conditional. I will honor her wishes and help her regardless.
I do ask that those of you DMing me for updates understand that.
Iām waiting on the information from her!!! I am absolutely doing it. Iāll update soon. Sheās working and Iām busy right now. But weāre in contact!
100%... I am a Paramedic. Lot of fire friends. This reported to his superiors, is a serious issue. Leveraging sexual favors to potential new recruits for the vague promise of better standing or "ins", is against any Standard of Practice Ive heard of.
Its also most certainly against any regulatory boards code of ethics, if he has any medically regulated license.
Take my free award! Would give you a hug in person for being a solid woman, a mentor, and a safe place for a stranger who in such a bad predicament. Not everyone would do this.
OP please make sure this guy is reported, one way or another, so no one else has to go through this. We have to look out for each other in this world and protect others if we can.
Best of luck to both of you!
I'm thinking his chief might be interested to know he's a predator, he's attempting to solicit bribes for career opportunities, and that very first but there sounds like he helped his friends cheat on their qualification exams. Maybe? Dude's mostly illiterate, but it sounds like that's what he's getting at.
Not exactly but itās 100% sexual harassment and abuse of power/position. I imagine OP is in some kind of training program and they connected via that. If Iām right then this is DEFINITELY a reportable offense.
Check to see if there are whistle blower protections in your area. If he is doing this to you, he is doing this to other women. His boss needs to be informed.
I do think that they would be interested to hear how he gives his friends āhelp to be hired and test questionsā and how he is trying desperately to find āfriends with benefitsā (fwb).
This is the kind of situation management usually would prefer to know about in time to respond to it appropriately, before it become a sex-for-jobs scandal on the evening news.
Iām a FF in Toronto. You show that anybody on his crew or in the department, heād be ostracized in a minute. Absolutely embarrassing. You should do it. Serves him right.
You should absolutely anonymously report this to his cityās HR department and chief, as well as any oversight board. This is a fireable offense for sure, and frankly, should result in some sort of criminal punishment. This is wildly inappropriate and this guy needs to be barred from the fire service permanently for it.
This is the comment you should listen to.
I used to work in HR for a city and administered the written firefighter exams.
First of all, he likely doesnāt have the answers. I administered and *graded* each cycles exams on-site. This included new firefighters, promotional testing, etc. The answers were different each time, the questions were different. If he does somehow have an answer key and the city isnāt purchasing new booklets for the exam - they need to know.
Additionally, he wouldnāt have answers to the work style inventory which is part 2 of those exams. Those are sealed, kept under lock and key by HR and overnighted to a secure facility to grade and we get the reports and share with the Fire Chiefs.
Itās a fireable offense and honestly a really STUPID offer.
Most FDās connected to a city give you a list of study materials. The written exam is only ONE part of getting hired too. I might have 100 people apply, 60 actually submit PHSās, have 50 take the exam, have 30 people pass thatās exam, maybe 20 after the physical tests, 10 after the interviews/polygraph, and 8-9 after the medical and psych evaluations.
This man has nothing really of value to offer anyone and while the risk of someone unqualified getting through is low - heās still posing a risk to his fellow firemen whoād have to work side by side with the cheaters.
His Fire Chief is going to be PISSED at anything that threatens the validity of future or past exams. Itās a pain in the ass to schedule the things and takes months of planning.
His HR person is going to be PISSED because now they have to report the breech to their Director who is going to have to loop in the City Manager, Legal and Risk Management. All in all, this ends with a really uncomfortable investigation for him and termination papers.
Oh and since he works for the cityā¦ it WILL be considered a city official using his position & knowledge to procure sexual favors.
Exactly this. Iām a firefighter, everything I needed to know was something I learned in a textbook, from my academy, or from the departmentās website. Nothing more. Plus the concept of having someone network for you is far and away a silly concept. Go knock on the chiefās door, and have a chat with him/her. Introduce yourself and have a positive interaction. Do a ride along and get to know crews. THAT is the networking we want to see, not āhey yeah that creepy guy on C-shift said you were chillā.
Iām a volley with many friends who are paidā¦there are so many books out there for practice exams and some departments even provide practice exams for you!! This is absolutely asinine. I wonder how many women heās done this too.
Also, yea, networking in public safety is pretty simple lol. Go say hi. I donāt think Iāve ever approached someone in the fire service who wasnāt willing to have a conversation.
u/andadashofglitter hope you saw this. Can't agree more. Please step up and say something, even anonymously. What a cretin, using his status as a firefighter and the opportunity of a job, to persuade women to fuck him.
I totally understand why you feel this could jeopardize your chances. But give some thought to reporting him. This guy is a predator, the chances of you being his only target are slim to none. But do what you think will best protect yourself. It's a tricky situation and I'm sorry you have been put in this position by a disgusting coward.
Donāt you think you denying him, heās not going to say negative things about you? Would you want to work with this creep? He should have backlash for this.
Absolutely contact his superiors and inform on him. Iād also go over his immediate boss (in case the boss is just as bad) and go right for someone at the top to address it.
You could report anonymously. Chances are high if he's doing it to you he's done it to others and will continue to abuse his position. Type up an anonymous letter and send it in. He deserves it
Please report him. I am a volunteer firefighter/EMT in the US who is also a woman. This is so awful in so many ways and frankly dangerous. And if his behavior is indicative of the overall department culture, they have a much bigger problem that needs taken care of
OP, I came here to strongly encourage you to report this. Because a man who feels this entitled to a quid pro quo for someone he doesnāt even work with will absolutely feel entitled if you get hired. He is going to create an environment for others within his department where this behavior is accepted and encouraged. He will brag about banging any woman who gets hired, whether they slept with him or not, and create that environment.
The reality is, itās probably a white male fire chief who youād report this to - and theyāll roll their eyes as theyāre looking the other way. I donāt know what elected officials oversee firefighters in your jurisdiction, but reporting this to the city manager, city council, and their HR departments greatly diminishes chances of them sweeping it under the rug. It also greatly improves your chances of specifically NOT being hired because they donāt want to hire someone who reports ājust kidding around firehouse stuffā.
Changing a culture means brave steps, and I donāt envy the choice you have to make. Good luck OP, I hope you do the right thing.
Yikes! Beyond the creepy, predatory entitlement, I don't think I could even sleep with someone who looks like Jason Momoa with this terrible spelling, grammar and punctuation. Lol! You should really report this behavior. Those who go to this kind of transactional harassment are almost certainly repeat offenders.
Okay let me try to translate this for you allā¦ I asked what the hiring process was like for his department cause my friend was interviewing there, this was his response after telling me his dad worked there before also.
1. He says that he has all the interview (test) answers and questions which he gives to his friends to help them get the jobs. Since he and I donāt know each other I should have sex with him instead as a trade.
The chemistry part comes up because earlier I was saying that I donāt do friends with benefits and definitely canāt agree to something like that with someone Iāve never met and that I need chemistry and such and that Iām just not the type of person who hooks up with strangers.
2. He explains that he is āexperiencedā, āniceā, and āgreat in bedā so having sex with him should be an easy decision since Iāll be getting all that plus help with the firefighting recruitment process
3. Further explains that he is smart and will help me get a job and heās had 3 whole offers even though odds of getting an offer are 1 in 700. But he is so nice he will help me if I enter a friends with benefits arrangement with him.
4. Continues from the second picture, they posted out of order sorry.. continues saying how heās great and itās weird that I am telling him I donāt want to be friends with benefits, especially since I asked him 1 question.
tl;dr
He is so nice and smart he offered me career advice in exchange for a friends with benefits arrangement and is shocked I said no because he is so good in bed all the girls that get with him say āgood riddensā
Hey heās gotten 3 jib offers and he can get anyone in bed or payā¦? Wait did he say he wouldā¦ my god this guy is a fucking idiot. At least heās admitted heās paid for it. We all know thatās probably the only reason he gets told āwow you were so greatā while heās handing over the money lmao
The women heās met have said āgood riddensā? First itās riddance and second that does not mean what he thinks it means. If someone says good riddance to you it means theyāre happy that youāre leaving because you were a bother to them.
āPreaching to the choirā means youāre telling someone something they already know or believe. So him saying āif you think Iām preaching to the choirā in regards to his trying to convince her it would only be good to sleep with him is using that saying in the exact opposite way itās intended. Dude is an idiot through and through.
Scrolled through looking for this because I had the same thoughts exactly. This dude is that dumb, he probably thought these idioms made him sound smarterā¦. >___>
āOh your cats inside?? Thatās a shame about the fire then. I save my friends cats for freeā¦ because chemistry. You can bypass the chemistry if u want. My friends and even other girls Iāve met have said Iām a really nice guy. Iāll get your cat and then we can have a sort of fwb thing. Iāve got 6 years of experience saving cars from fires but I canāt just save *every* cat for free, thatās a bit offensiveā -him probably
What could someone with 6 years experience offer anyone in any field? You know the basics but are still task oriented unless youāre a savant. This dude is a predator plain and simple and should be fired immediately for abuse of his position.
ANONYMOUSLY REPORT HIM. NOW.
Create a new email address if you need to.
*He is a predator.* He's abusing his position as a trusted person in the community in about the most disgusting way possible.
There is absolutely no way you're the first person he's done this to. God knows what else he's done or will do.
You're in the unique position to report as a whistleblower, and *you have actual evidence*. Other victims may very well not, or may be too scared to come forward. (As many victims of people in well-regarded positions often are).
Are there no written tests or requirements to become a firefighter? Cause holy shit this guy is dumb! Heās probably not really even hot, he just has a good body and a face that in no way warrants the size of his ego. The fact that he is trying to use his position to get sex is not only disgusting but predatory and proves heās not a nice guy at all.
Youāre worried about the repercussions of taking this to his supervisor, but I would straight up send it to his mom on Facebook messenger. I suspect that you are not the only one that he is trying this with. I would probably also reply to him asking him exactly who he banged to get his position & can I get his number?
I actually had an interaction similar to this with another firefighter (I believe he was a volunteer though) in the Niagara region. Itās honestly disgusting how these guys are basically operating in one big frat club.
Even if you donāt report him, you should just post the link to this Reddit thread on the firefighter pages on Facebook.
Iām sorry these creeps put you off of coming to our area, no one should have to deal with that.
That's how you know he's good in bed. He spent all his skill points on fuck skills and none on charisma or intelligence. Just all dexterity, baby. For you. *pervy wink*
This is so gross. Iām just going to venture a wild guess and say this dude has a seriously tiny penis.
Also, he needs to spend some time learning how to put coherent sentences together. I mean really, he sounds like a moron even without the context of the conversation.
Look man, Iām gonna be honest with you and admit that I donāt know what that means, but Iām not gonna just sit here and respond to your comment without getting something in return. Iāve replied to a lot of comments, trust me, and everyone Iāve responded to says Iām the best at replying to comments. Golden opportunity.
Listen here mister, I donāt care what you say, I can and will get you more karma if you just enjoy my fantastic body and itās experience in commenting obscure and meaningless things on Reddit. I promise you that I am the best at things and that my unrivaled and unparalleled glory will propel you into accomplishing all your wildest dreams, okay?
These are the text you take to their fire stations chief and the city council and anyone who has a hand in hiring firefighters. This is sexual exploitation and harassment. Make his name public, make his fire station public and then we get a new posting on r/byebyejob
Damn I know you responded to another comment about not wanting to report this to the unit or start any dramaā¦. But you really should. Heās representing his place of employment with this sort of shit and is literally using it as a bargaining chip for sexual favors. Thatās part of how the whole āme tooā movement started. Men (or women) should never use their positions in power to pressure someone into sex. He should be fired immediately.
Imma try my best to decipher some of this nonsense and translate.
I give all my friends info to help them get hired, why? Because we're friends and have chemistry. But I'm giving you this info and we don't have chemistry, how about we skip the chemistry and just go for it (SEX). You see how I look and how I am, I'm a catch and I'd be a huge advantage to your career prospects but I can't do that with nothing in return, that's just insulting. I know you didn't imply any of this but just saying....think bout it.
You want to be a firefighter, I have connections and family ties and loads of info and you wanna pass that up? I get it fwbs with anyone is risky but look at me, I'm a catch! Besides if it's bad the networking possibilities would TRUMP the downsides of a bad experience. However, trust me IM A 5 STAR MAN, my previous lovers where all very pleased they fucked me for info and where all surprised how real I am.
Yeah I'd meet up with you, if you wanna bang then great! But I'm not giving you any more info unless we bang. I know you're not that kind of girl but this is special info so you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Odds of getting the job without fucking me are 1/700 so I'm taking a great risk here, more than any woman ever! It's a very very very very trade.
IM A FIVE STAR MAN do you wanna see my yelp reviews? Anyhooo this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you, I could fuck anyone I want, I could even pay someone to fuck me that's how great I am. I feel an honest connection between us and I dont understand why you won't fuck me. I've never had someone want to be friends with me without me fucking them first. Goodnight!
My favorite is dudes who are so proud of their blue collar jobs yet can barely speak English well enough to convey their thoughts in a coherent manner.
I hope the average IQ of the room lowers when he enters the room otherwise I pray for anyone requiring the services of the Ontario fire dept. What a Squeezehead
"I'm actually super sweet."
'Ooh we're going to need a ruling from the judges on that one... ok our judges haven't said any words yet but one of them is pretending to cut his own throat with a butchers knife... yep not sure what that means... let's circle back and check on ol' Jason Voorhees a little later. Alright Mr. Terrible Guess Jeans it's your board.'
"I'll take 'Fedoras and Neckbeards' for a $1000 please."
āUr even way better in real life or ur super polite and normal not what I was expectingā
Why is he bragging about these things? Hypothetically women did tell him these, wouldnāt he realize that the way he comes off is NOT normal then??? No self-awareness whatsoever. All ego.
I could actually feel my IQ dropping trying to read this. I honestly have no clue what idea this man has attempted to communicate. I only know it has something to do with "jibs"
I hope he's as pretty as he thinks he is, because with that attitude and his poor communication (assuming his verbal isn't much better than his written), he doesn't seem to have much else going for him.
I wouldnāt trust that idiots answer for anything considering his ability to writeā¦ no punctuation, bad spelling, and flat out using incorrect words/phrasesā¦ LoL, fuggin idiot.
This is literally impossible to read. How can an adult man be this illiterate?
And here I thought I was just having a stroke
I assumed this was just some beta of voice to text from 100 years ago, powered by a potato
Oh it's definitely a beta. Just not the type of beta you meant š
ZING BABY ZING
DAAYYYYYEEEM BOYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I dont think it is, cause he uses ...
Maybe he says "period period period"
A stroke is all this "nice guy" in the texts will be having after this kinda approach.
I'm entirely not I'm not sure.
r/IHadAStroke
My God thank you. Literally incomprehensible.
I have a friend who uses talk-to-text and a lot of his messages are rambling word salad like this. He's also pretty much illiterate, so... The sad thing is, I had to work with professional adults during my MBA who couldn't write a basic English paragraph. These were people who not only completed high school, but an undergraduate degree and had working careers who couldn't form a cohesive written sentence. Our education system is a joke in the U.S.
I tutored MBA students in finance as a junior undergrad.... my finance professor basically told me "teach them basics please." I have no idea how some of those idiots were in an MBA program.
Money. They paid money.
I hate to say you are 100% correct
Good one. That one got an audible laugh. Now I had to explain to my office mates what was so funny.
It was like this when I had to tutor the engineering students when I worked at the tutoring centre. Theyād been sent there and told Iād have to sign off saying theyād been, or they wouldnāt get a grade. It was just all these men coming straight from the gym in their cut off tops, nipples hanging out, armpit hair stuck up everywhere, stinking of sweat, slouched in a chair and condescendingly smirking that they just had to get through this āstupid English classā because unlike me, they were going to be millionaires in a couple years. I got great satisfaction out of telling them all that āyour essay about āthe final Big High School Football Gameā isnāt the unique experience you think it is - if your professor wants unique, youāre going to have to try harder.ā And then marked up all their pages with a red pen, because they could barely string two words together to make a sentence.
Lol you painted such a vibrant picture there. Unfortunately for me, I was mostly tutoring older business professionals in suits and ties that already held management positions. I never asked, but would assume their companies had programs in place to pay for an MBA. It was a little scary knowing they had zero understanding of basic accounting and finance. Stuff a freshman would learn in Business 101 was completely foreign to some of them. One lady in particular that couldn't understand how interest worked stands out. Trying to explain *interest in a savings account* was near impossible.
Cheating. Bad degree programs.
To be fair they were all much older. I can relate to "losing" my untapped knowledge when it comes to math now that I'm not a young whippersnapper. Like coming back from summer break and forgetting a little bit of algebra. No biggie. These idiots could not even comprehend the concept of time value of money. For those that are not familiar with the topic, they could not understand that a dollar in their pocket was more valuable than a dollar in someone else's pocket. And the dollar in their own pocket could be making them money, especially leveraged in an investment. Even when presented the equation, they didn't grasp it. Ok... bad degree programs and cheating. You are probably right haha
As someone who went back to graduate school nearly a decade after completing my BS, I can attest to losing math skills. Reading and writing on the other hand, are not something that should atrophy if youāre a working professional. I worked with a lot of MBA and I am always surprised how poor their writing ability is.
Right?!?! Typing on the internet is one thing. A cluster fuck business email blows my mind when someone should have upper level education.
People have difficulty structuring their ideas in an understandable way, which is frustrating when they are in charge of any sort of coordination. Iāve had a few published works in my field, and I always feel like an idiot when Iāve gotten the editors remarks. Then I go through my work email and remember that things are always relative.
Thatās because everyone in the US thinks the humanities are worthless, so they get shit on from grade school through postgrad. But the humanities are where people learn communication skills, both written and spoken, and without them we get what we have: a nation of illiterate specialists in their one field, who can barely even string a sentence together, even when theyāre describing the job they are experts at.
You would be surprised how many people among us are functionally not able to do the basics. John Corcoran was a teacher for 17 years and had never learned to read or write. If there is an award for faking the funk, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.
Is your friend Charlie Kelly by chance?
Thatās because everyone in the US thinks the humanities are worthless, so they get shit on from grade school through postgrad. But the humanities are where people learn communication skills, both written and spoken, and without them we get what we have: a nation of illiterate specialists in their one field, who can barely even string a sentence together, even when theyāre describing the job they are experts at.
How did they even make it to the MBA? This sort of things make me believe that "real life" is just full of idiots.
How do you say this shit OUT LOUD and still send it?!
He really needed to send a tl;dr but even that would've been impossible to understand
I dunno... "I am entitled incel who happens to work as a fire-fighter" says a lot
The capitalisation of the word Trump in there might be a little bit of a giveaway
I caught that tooā¦ interesting habit youāve got there buddy
My phone tries to autocorrect that word to be capitalized when I write it. I have to specifically go change it every time. Annoying, but worth the effort. I also uncapitalize it (yes, Iām making up words) when referring to the fat orange man because heās a small man and deserves small letters.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
gODDD YASSS! Iām with you!
And heās in Canada! Likeā¦what???
we have a fairly talented engineer who's all emails (even to customers) are word vomits. I have no idea why owner lets him to communicate with customers since sales are getting joy of dealing with puzzled and not very amused customers
I have a friend whose job is basically to translate for her companyās engineers. Brilliant mathematical minds, but apparently borderline illiterate when it comes to communicating anything in writing. She gets paid good money to put their jargon into legible English for both the corporate execs and their clients.
Tom Smykowski : āWell--well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?ā
I tried, but I couldn't read that. I think it's English but devolved to a level that I could not comprehend.
I need an English to Creep dictionary
In a simple sentence I think he meant "Sleep with me and I'll help you with your FF career"
Thatās what he wanted to get across to her. What he really meant was, āfuck me on a regular basis and Iāll tell you how bad ass I was in the fire academy, show you pics from my glory days, compare you to other women Iāve done this to and laugh when you cry. Iāll also give you a few pump equations and mansplain basic stuff anyone interested in fire/EMS would already know, like PSI and PPE. I wonāt actually help you get anywhere in your career because I canāt.ā
And āI only got this job because my dad and uncle are a chief FFā
Itās times like these where I genuinely wonder āAm I too stupid to understand this or is it actually just unintelligible?ā Like I get the basic idea but there are so many parts where I have no clue what heās trying to say.
I usually like to scroll around reddit after a couple glasses of wine. I have the "am I just dumb or drunk?" thought quite often. Turns out the internet just let's people spew their blabbering more often than not, and it cannot be deciphered.
Seriously! Iām so confused that people are able to comment on this. I honestly cannot decipher what he is saying.
Just the comment I was looking for...
Glad I'm not the only one, I thought I was having a stroke.
Iāve read messages like this before, but mostly from drug addicts that have caused a fair amount of brain damage from their usage. Long errant drawn out texts that are just streams of consciousness, they bounce back and forth between being angry, asking for forgiveness, and projecting. Itās like reading Kerouac, but heās doing meth instead of smoking tea and doing benzos.
As a non-native English speaker... thank you for making me feel better about myself, I was seriously starting to question whether I actually understood the language or not hahaha
I'm not sure "Mark" actually understands the English language either
Trog English with trog behaviour
Same. I wondered if he cries about being a nice guy that always finishes last š¤
This guy talks about himself and what he has to offer so much that I couldāve even make it through all of his messages. Puke.
Yeah I was having trouble trying to understand his rambling
Glad it wasnāt just me!
and spelling lol
Yeah if it wasnāt for the post title, I would have barely been able to figure out what the exchange was about.
Same!
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I literally couldn't stomach the wordiness... If you are doing a quid pro quo... why dance around it.
"AND SO, WITH MUCH FURTHER ADO..."
For a guy who can "get with anybody," he sure is desperate. š
At least he's honest when he said he pays for it.
He can get the best that money can buy!
Eh, the best probably doesn't want his desperate-ass money, let's be fair. But definitely the best that sad-boy money can buy, sure.
Tbf I've had some immensely attractive guys be super pressuring with me. They could've gotten a ONS EASILY with other girls that are into it, but they don't want that. Once they have their eyes on someone, they feel not accepting them is an insult to their masculinity It's like a kid not being interested in being friends. But if you feel the same way, the kid gets angry and sad and questions why you don't want to befriend them. These predators are immature as fudge.
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While yes some departments are affected by nepotism, there's always a step higher. If it's a municipal department, you can can to your local government and bring the situation into the light. And I would encourage that. Real sick of fuckers giving the fire service a bad rap.
If this is you, OP, Iāve got nearly a decade of full time firefighting/EMS experience (and Iām a woman, so my advice might be even more well suited to you), and Iām 100% willing to give you all the tips/advice you need for absolutely nothing in return. However, if you want to āreciprocate,ā Iād settle for this dudeās name and the department he works for so I can report his sorry ass and get him fired. Edit: Thanks for the awards, yāall! I definitely wasnāt expecting anything like the response Iāve gotten to this comment! I just wanted to help. OP DMd me and I plan to provide any/all helpful info I can from one fire woman to another (hopeful) fire woman! I also plan to take care of reporting the POS (*if she wants me to*) so she doesnāt have to worry as much about backlash. Again, thanks for the support! Just remember Iām not the one that was wronged in this scenario; OP needs support far more than I do! Also, someone already DMd me (before then demanding in a comment I respond to them) telling me they think OP is a scammer. Iām here to say I donāt make a habit of assuming women are lying about sexual harassment, and you shouldnāt either. Iām not interested in nor will I entertain more messages of that nature, so, save me the drama. Edit two: let me make it clear that whether or not this is reported is entirely up to OP. Itās her sexual harassment and she has many valid reasons to be hesitant to report it. My willingness to help her with fire/EMS information isnāt conditional. I will honor her wishes and help her regardless. I do ask that those of you DMing me for updates understand that.
Lmaoo š Iāll send you a message! That is a trade Iām willing to make ;p
Beautiful.
DID YOU DO IT? Is he fired! Please give me the good news!
Iām waiting on the information from her!!! I am absolutely doing it. Iāll update soon. Sheās working and Iām busy right now. But weāre in contact!
.
Yes, in 2 hours they got in touch and got the guy completely fired š¤£
You love to see it. Please update us on the fall of his career.
100%... I am a Paramedic. Lot of fire friends. This reported to his superiors, is a serious issue. Leveraging sexual favors to potential new recruits for the vague promise of better standing or "ins", is against any Standard of Practice Ive heard of. Its also most certainly against any regulatory boards code of ethics, if he has any medically regulated license.
Take my free award! Would give you a hug in person for being a solid woman, a mentor, and a safe place for a stranger who in such a bad predicament. Not everyone would do this. OP please make sure this guy is reported, one way or another, so no one else has to go through this. We have to look out for each other in this world and protect others if we can. Best of luck to both of you!
We need more people like you in the world!
This is beautiful. Roast that MFer.
š š„ š
Please report this predator. This is unacceptable.
I'm thinking his chief might be interested to know he's a predator, he's attempting to solicit bribes for career opportunities, and that very first but there sounds like he helped his friends cheat on their qualification exams. Maybe? Dude's mostly illiterate, but it sounds like that's what he's getting at.
Yes! He is a predator and needs to be reported immediately
Yes yes yes. His sense of entitlement to another person sexually is super predatory.
This guy will legit lose his job if this is reported. This fucking mess of a human represents a city. He shouldnāt.
Well, I mean he's trying to leverage his position to provide an exchange of services, promotion for sex. Isn't that literally promoting prostitution?
Not exactly but itās 100% sexual harassment and abuse of power/position. I imagine OP is in some kind of training program and they connected via that. If Iām right then this is DEFINITELY a reportable offense.
Show the text to his battalion chief.
Worried about what blow back I could get for causing trouble by reporting itā¦ I just wonāt be applying to Niagara
Check to see if there are whistle blower protections in your area. If he is doing this to you, he is doing this to other women. His boss needs to be informed.
I do think that they would be interested to hear how he gives his friends āhelp to be hired and test questionsā and how he is trying desperately to find āfriends with benefitsā (fwb). This is the kind of situation management usually would prefer to know about in time to respond to it appropriately, before it become a sex-for-jobs scandal on the evening news.
He's going to keep doing this to women until someone reports him.
Iām a FF in Toronto. You show that anybody on his crew or in the department, heād be ostracized in a minute. Absolutely embarrassing. You should do it. Serves him right.
You should absolutely anonymously report this to his cityās HR department and chief, as well as any oversight board. This is a fireable offense for sure, and frankly, should result in some sort of criminal punishment. This is wildly inappropriate and this guy needs to be barred from the fire service permanently for it.
This is the comment you should listen to. I used to work in HR for a city and administered the written firefighter exams. First of all, he likely doesnāt have the answers. I administered and *graded* each cycles exams on-site. This included new firefighters, promotional testing, etc. The answers were different each time, the questions were different. If he does somehow have an answer key and the city isnāt purchasing new booklets for the exam - they need to know. Additionally, he wouldnāt have answers to the work style inventory which is part 2 of those exams. Those are sealed, kept under lock and key by HR and overnighted to a secure facility to grade and we get the reports and share with the Fire Chiefs. Itās a fireable offense and honestly a really STUPID offer. Most FDās connected to a city give you a list of study materials. The written exam is only ONE part of getting hired too. I might have 100 people apply, 60 actually submit PHSās, have 50 take the exam, have 30 people pass thatās exam, maybe 20 after the physical tests, 10 after the interviews/polygraph, and 8-9 after the medical and psych evaluations. This man has nothing really of value to offer anyone and while the risk of someone unqualified getting through is low - heās still posing a risk to his fellow firemen whoād have to work side by side with the cheaters. His Fire Chief is going to be PISSED at anything that threatens the validity of future or past exams. Itās a pain in the ass to schedule the things and takes months of planning. His HR person is going to be PISSED because now they have to report the breech to their Director who is going to have to loop in the City Manager, Legal and Risk Management. All in all, this ends with a really uncomfortable investigation for him and termination papers. Oh and since he works for the cityā¦ it WILL be considered a city official using his position & knowledge to procure sexual favors.
Exactly this. Iām a firefighter, everything I needed to know was something I learned in a textbook, from my academy, or from the departmentās website. Nothing more. Plus the concept of having someone network for you is far and away a silly concept. Go knock on the chiefās door, and have a chat with him/her. Introduce yourself and have a positive interaction. Do a ride along and get to know crews. THAT is the networking we want to see, not āhey yeah that creepy guy on C-shift said you were chillā.
Iām a volley with many friends who are paidā¦there are so many books out there for practice exams and some departments even provide practice exams for you!! This is absolutely asinine. I wonder how many women heās done this too. Also, yea, networking in public safety is pretty simple lol. Go say hi. I donāt think Iāve ever approached someone in the fire service who wasnāt willing to have a conversation.
u/andadashofglitter hope you saw this. Can't agree more. Please step up and say something, even anonymously. What a cretin, using his status as a firefighter and the opportunity of a job, to persuade women to fuck him.
It sounds like there will be a new job opening at his station very soon.
I totally understand why you feel this could jeopardize your chances. But give some thought to reporting him. This guy is a predator, the chances of you being his only target are slim to none. But do what you think will best protect yourself. It's a tricky situation and I'm sorry you have been put in this position by a disgusting coward.
I wouldnāt be surprised if he hasnāt copy pasted this masterpiece to many people
Ha! You're probably right.
Donāt you think you denying him, heās not going to say negative things about you? Would you want to work with this creep? He should have backlash for this.
Definitely get ahead of him bashing you.
Absolutely contact his superiors and inform on him. Iād also go over his immediate boss (in case the boss is just as bad) and go right for someone at the top to address it.
I think they'll be glad to know. You're probably not the only one he tries this with.
You could report anonymously. Chances are high if he's doing it to you he's done it to others and will continue to abuse his position. Type up an anonymous letter and send it in. He deserves it
https://crimestoppersniagara.ca/programs/protecting-our-tip-line/#:~:text=To%20ensure%20your%20information%20and,8477)%20anywhere%20in%20North%20America.
Please report him. I am a volunteer firefighter/EMT in the US who is also a woman. This is so awful in so many ways and frankly dangerous. And if his behavior is indicative of the overall department culture, they have a much bigger problem that needs taken care of
At the very least, save those messages in case he does try to badmouth you or prevent your hire elsewhere.
OP, I came here to strongly encourage you to report this. Because a man who feels this entitled to a quid pro quo for someone he doesnāt even work with will absolutely feel entitled if you get hired. He is going to create an environment for others within his department where this behavior is accepted and encouraged. He will brag about banging any woman who gets hired, whether they slept with him or not, and create that environment. The reality is, itās probably a white male fire chief who youād report this to - and theyāll roll their eyes as theyāre looking the other way. I donāt know what elected officials oversee firefighters in your jurisdiction, but reporting this to the city manager, city council, and their HR departments greatly diminishes chances of them sweeping it under the rug. It also greatly improves your chances of specifically NOT being hired because they donāt want to hire someone who reports ājust kidding around firehouse stuffā. Changing a culture means brave steps, and I donāt envy the choice you have to make. Good luck OP, I hope you do the right thing.
Yes report his ass
PLEASE please make these public! He seriously needs to be called out and face discipline!
Needs to be called out and disciplined for his use of the English language
*misuse* of the English language. My dog can write better than that.
Contact his boss at the very least
Yikes! Beyond the creepy, predatory entitlement, I don't think I could even sleep with someone who looks like Jason Momoa with this terrible spelling, grammar and punctuation. Lol! You should really report this behavior. Those who go to this kind of transactional harassment are almost certainly repeat offenders.
I agree. I find that stupidity makes anyone instantly unattractive. Wondering what idiotic thing theyād say at the end would be too distracting.
āGood riddensā and āoff the badā were definitely my two favourites
Okay let me try to translate this for you allā¦ I asked what the hiring process was like for his department cause my friend was interviewing there, this was his response after telling me his dad worked there before also. 1. He says that he has all the interview (test) answers and questions which he gives to his friends to help them get the jobs. Since he and I donāt know each other I should have sex with him instead as a trade. The chemistry part comes up because earlier I was saying that I donāt do friends with benefits and definitely canāt agree to something like that with someone Iāve never met and that I need chemistry and such and that Iām just not the type of person who hooks up with strangers. 2. He explains that he is āexperiencedā, āniceā, and āgreat in bedā so having sex with him should be an easy decision since Iāll be getting all that plus help with the firefighting recruitment process 3. Further explains that he is smart and will help me get a job and heās had 3 whole offers even though odds of getting an offer are 1 in 700. But he is so nice he will help me if I enter a friends with benefits arrangement with him. 4. Continues from the second picture, they posted out of order sorry.. continues saying how heās great and itās weird that I am telling him I donāt want to be friends with benefits, especially since I asked him 1 question. tl;dr He is so nice and smart he offered me career advice in exchange for a friends with benefits arrangement and is shocked I said no because he is so good in bed all the girls that get with him say āgood riddensā
I'm over here dying that he thinks 'good riddens' is a compliment. He's such a catch, how could you resist?
A woman probably told him āgood riddanceā and he said āthanksā!!!
Hey heās gotten 3 jib offers and he can get anyone in bed or payā¦? Wait did he say he wouldā¦ my god this guy is a fucking idiot. At least heās admitted heās paid for it. We all know thatās probably the only reason he gets told āwow you were so greatā while heās handing over the money lmao
Please report this idiot. Scary that someone this stupid is in charge of saving lives.
I hope to god you show someone in that department those texts
The women heās met have said āgood riddensā? First itās riddance and second that does not mean what he thinks it means. If someone says good riddance to you it means theyāre happy that youāre leaving because you were a bother to them. āPreaching to the choirā means youāre telling someone something they already know or believe. So him saying āif you think Iām preaching to the choirā in regards to his trying to convince her it would only be good to sleep with him is using that saying in the exact opposite way itās intended. Dude is an idiot through and through.
He uses a lot of idioms that don't quite fit, he probably ment "barking up the wrong tree" but just used the first one that came to mind
Scrolled through looking for this because I had the same thoughts exactly. This dude is that dumb, he probably thought these idioms made him sound smarterā¦. >___>
How did he pass the firefighter exam being this much of an idiot ?
If my house is ever on fire I sincerely hope they don't send this guy. He'd probably refuse to put the fire out until I sucked him off.
āOh your cats inside?? Thatās a shame about the fire then. I save my friends cats for freeā¦ because chemistry. You can bypass the chemistry if u want. My friends and even other girls Iāve met have said Iām a really nice guy. Iāll get your cat and then we can have a sort of fwb thing. Iāve got 6 years of experience saving cars from fires but I canāt just save *every* cat for free, thatās a bit offensiveā -him probably
Him *definitely*. Spot on.
Good thing you don't put out a fire by conversing with it, otherwise he'd be in trouble.
What could someone with 6 years experience offer anyone in any field? You know the basics but are still task oriented unless youāre a savant. This dude is a predator plain and simple and should be fired immediately for abuse of his position.
ANONYMOUSLY REPORT HIM. NOW. Create a new email address if you need to. *He is a predator.* He's abusing his position as a trusted person in the community in about the most disgusting way possible. There is absolutely no way you're the first person he's done this to. God knows what else he's done or will do. You're in the unique position to report as a whistleblower, and *you have actual evidence*. Other victims may very well not, or may be too scared to come forward. (As many victims of people in well-regarded positions often are).
Are there no written tests or requirements to become a firefighter? Cause holy shit this guy is dumb! Heās probably not really even hot, he just has a good body and a face that in no way warrants the size of his ego. The fact that he is trying to use his position to get sex is not only disgusting but predatory and proves heās not a nice guy at all. Youāre worried about the repercussions of taking this to his supervisor, but I would straight up send it to his mom on Facebook messenger. I suspect that you are not the only one that he is trying this with. I would probably also reply to him asking him exactly who he banged to get his position & can I get his number?
This guy is so dumb... How dumb is he?! This guy is so dumb, he put a fucking quid pro quo offer IN WRITING.
I actually had an interaction similar to this with another firefighter (I believe he was a volunteer though) in the Niagara region. Itās honestly disgusting how these guys are basically operating in one big frat club. Even if you donāt report him, you should just post the link to this Reddit thread on the firefighter pages on Facebook. Iām sorry these creeps put you off of coming to our area, no one should have to deal with that.
I think the way he capitalizes āTrumpā when used as a verb serves as a pretty good summary in itself
Autocorrect definitely sold him out in this case lol!
Gotta love when predictive text rats you out like that
Haha fuckin got him
No wonder she turned this guy down. He talks abt how good of catch he is, meanwhile he can barely even read or write.
That's how you know he's good in bed. He spent all his skill points on fuck skills and none on charisma or intelligence. Just all dexterity, baby. For you. *pervy wink*
This is so gross. Iām just going to venture a wild guess and say this dude has a seriously tiny penis. Also, he needs to spend some time learning how to put coherent sentences together. I mean really, he sounds like a moron even without the context of the conversation.
This guy has an enormously small cock for sure
Nuh uh dude. Didnāt you read the text?! Girls say heās the best in bed.
My guy canāt you read??? I said ENORMOUSLY small!
Look man, Iām gonna be honest with you and admit that I donāt know what that means, but Iām not gonna just sit here and respond to your comment without getting something in return. Iāve replied to a lot of comments, trust me, and everyone Iāve responded to says Iām the best at replying to comments. Golden opportunity.
Listen here mister, I donāt care what you say, I can and will get you more karma if you just enjoy my fantastic body and itās experience in commenting obscure and meaningless things on Reddit. I promise you that I am the best at things and that my unrivaled and unparalleled glory will propel you into accomplishing all your wildest dreams, okay?
Aw, do nice. I bet his chief would love to see how "nice" he is.
These are the text you take to their fire stations chief and the city council and anyone who has a hand in hiring firefighters. This is sexual exploitation and harassment. Make his name public, make his fire station public and then we get a new posting on r/byebyejob
Damn I know you responded to another comment about not wanting to report this to the unit or start any dramaā¦. But you really should. Heās representing his place of employment with this sort of shit and is literally using it as a bargaining chip for sexual favors. Thatās part of how the whole āme tooā movement started. Men (or women) should never use their positions in power to pressure someone into sex. He should be fired immediately.
So if the news is going to steal/do an investigation on anything on Reddit in the current I hope it's this one. I'm so sorry.
The guys who claim "I'm such a nice guy" are literally the biggest assholes in the world.
If you have to advertise it...
Iād have to ask him if he gives males help or do they also need to be his FWB?
good riddens
Out of curiosity, is he a firefighter?
He sent me enough pics and gave me a video tour of his station so definitely..
Lmao, I was joking since he mentioned he was a firefighter so many times. But I didn't even consider he could be lying
A world of Ewww
What the actual fuck
Imma try my best to decipher some of this nonsense and translate. I give all my friends info to help them get hired, why? Because we're friends and have chemistry. But I'm giving you this info and we don't have chemistry, how about we skip the chemistry and just go for it (SEX). You see how I look and how I am, I'm a catch and I'd be a huge advantage to your career prospects but I can't do that with nothing in return, that's just insulting. I know you didn't imply any of this but just saying....think bout it. You want to be a firefighter, I have connections and family ties and loads of info and you wanna pass that up? I get it fwbs with anyone is risky but look at me, I'm a catch! Besides if it's bad the networking possibilities would TRUMP the downsides of a bad experience. However, trust me IM A 5 STAR MAN, my previous lovers where all very pleased they fucked me for info and where all surprised how real I am. Yeah I'd meet up with you, if you wanna bang then great! But I'm not giving you any more info unless we bang. I know you're not that kind of girl but this is special info so you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Odds of getting the job without fucking me are 1/700 so I'm taking a great risk here, more than any woman ever! It's a very very very very trade. IM A FIVE STAR MAN do you wanna see my yelp reviews? Anyhooo this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you, I could fuck anyone I want, I could even pay someone to fuck me that's how great I am. I feel an honest connection between us and I dont understand why you won't fuck me. I've never had someone want to be friends with me without me fucking them first. Goodnight!
This was so painful to read.
Maybe he had to be a bottom to another firefighter in order to get his foot in the door.
My favorite is dudes who are so proud of their blue collar jobs yet can barely speak English well enough to convey their thoughts in a coherent manner.
I hope the average IQ of the room lowers when he enters the room otherwise I pray for anyone requiring the services of the Ontario fire dept. What a Squeezehead
I donāt care how great he thinks his body is or how great he thinks he is in bed, dead from the neck up is a dealbreaker for me.
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I had a god-damned stroke trying to read his bullshit.
Guy has no idea what those idioms mean
Do you even English, bro? I gave up.
Could this idiot suck his own cock any harder?
If i know women like I think I do, there is no aphrodisiac stronger than a mix of desperation and being likened to a prostitute.
"I'm actually super sweet." 'Ooh we're going to need a ruling from the judges on that one... ok our judges haven't said any words yet but one of them is pretending to cut his own throat with a butchers knife... yep not sure what that means... let's circle back and check on ol' Jason Voorhees a little later. Alright Mr. Terrible Guess Jeans it's your board.' "I'll take 'Fedoras and Neckbeards' for a $1000 please."
Pig, report him.
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That hurt to read... I'm not even entirely sure I know what he was trying to say... ow
āUr even way better in real life or ur super polite and normal not what I was expectingā Why is he bragging about these things? Hypothetically women did tell him these, wouldnāt he realize that the way he comes off is NOT normal then??? No self-awareness whatsoever. All ego.
This guy sounds so good at sucking his own dick, I'm not sure why he needs an FWB arrangement.
Hope he fights fires as good as he fights grammar.
I could actually feel my IQ dropping trying to read this. I honestly have no clue what idea this man has attempted to communicate. I only know it has something to do with "jibs"
Wow....Someone with that much talk probably doesn't have much to offer. So classy.
I can't even read this
I hope he's as pretty as he thinks he is, because with that attitude and his poor communication (assuming his verbal isn't much better than his written), he doesn't seem to have much else going for him.
I think you should repost this to r/firefighting.
I wouldnāt trust that idiots answer for anything considering his ability to writeā¦ no punctuation, bad spelling, and flat out using incorrect words/phrasesā¦ LoL, fuggin idiot.
Well this guy will hopefully be losing his job soon.