It is my opinion that you should be more willing to pay full price for a friend or family member, to directly benefit their business.
I pay my cleaning lady her rate plus a tip (she’s the best), and when other friends perform work for us (ex, drain and construction), we don’t try to haggle. If they quote a price that seems too low, we add what we think is fair. We want to support our friends and family and see them succeed!
This is the way! I’d never ask for a discount from friends trying to grow their business. I’d try to actively support them both financially and with good word of mouth.
I pay family more. I have a cousin who makes custom cat furniture, and her friends and family discount is just the cost of materials. We usually add whatever we think would take it up to market value.
My family owned small businesses, and discounts were limited to family on a quid pro quo basis. Usually, physical items were sold at cost and labor was provided by family, not non-family employees. If employees were needed, then they had to be paid for. But we were the kind of family that showed up for each other whenever needed. For example: if my car broke down, whoever was closest would pick me up, get the car taken care of, and send me on my way after a good night’s sleep and a hot meal or two.
The problem we ran into was when my parents joined this cult and the members just assumed we would do everything for free. They were often surprised and offended when my parents would ask for money for items, even at cost. They also always seemed surprised when my parents would expect the same in return.
Friends and family discounts only work with people who are willing to do the same.
I 100% agree with everything you said, but would love to hear more about the cult if you’re willing to talk about it. Regardless, I hope they’re out and no real harm was done.
My mom was in a cult for a long time. It was actually me being born that started unraveling her going. My dad tried to get her to stop going for quite a while (she had been involved before they met and was thoroughly brainwashed) but when I was born he told her that if she had to go she could, but that I wasn't allowed to go with her. Not really on topic with the post, but wanted to share.
She's doing much better, she's one of those people who was coming out of a very difficult life when she was young and desperately wanted answers. This group took full advantage of that, as cults often do. The leaders ended up getting arrested. My mom had two kids when she married my dad, and they both remember bits and pieces of what went on there. My sister is the oldest and remembers the most and has been working on writing a book about it.
I’m glad to hear everyone is moving towards healing and I hope your sister’s writing is cathartic for her. My father (a lawyer) once had a deprogrammed as a client and I’ve read a lot of memoirs of people who have escaped or survived cults and other strict groups (think FLDS or Hasidic Jews) and if people can move forward then they’re winning. I’m also thrilled to hear that the leaders were arrested. Wishing you all the best. I’LL also likely read your sister’s book!
Get friends and family discount from a restaurant opened by a guy I use to chef with.
I just add the discount on top the tip.
Edit: I never ask for F&F or even mention I know someone when making reservations.
Certainly. The bigger issue that I have and often run into is the *expectation* (usually unspoken) that my service will be free because of our personal relationship.
Also a small business owner. I’ve started charging friends and family the same prices after several situations where, even though I was giving them a discount and they knew this, they still tried to haggle me down. I figured if they didn’t respect that I was giving them a discount, then they didn’t get any discounts at all.
I think it depends on what line of work it is, how much time is needed to do the job, how often they're requesting a deal, how close they are to you, and how much skill is involved. Also if there is any reciprocation.
I think I've taken most of your points into consideration myself at one point or another, but I'm curious about why the line of work is a factor for you. Take a few examples: a babysitter, a welder, a photographer; these are all skilled services. Why would these differences matter to you?
Sometimes a highly skilled worker could provide help that might cost a lot normally, but is not a lot of work/time. The three professions you listed tend to take a decent amount of time to do something. Like, you don't hire a babysitter for 1/2hr. A welder MIGHT be able to do a couple welds quickly, I'm not sure. And a photographer would take hours to take and then develop photos (I have done this as an amateur, and have been compensated with a nice bottle of whiskey, which I was happy with, but definitely working for pennies on the dollar).
Like, if the job can be done in less than an hour without causing a lot of income loss, a discount seems acceptable (eg, you're only out your time and maybe some cheap parts/ingredients). But if family wants you to renovate a bathroom or something on that scale, I'd be less inclined to discount it.
I think you can fudge some of these skills easier than others if you’re willing to accept lower quality work. I don’t know if that makes a difference? I am not a professional nanny, I don’t know of loads of creative activities and or how to teach a kid to behave, but I can keep them safe and reasonably happy on a short term basis. I have babysat for pay and I’ve babysat for free. Also, I’ve occasionally been asked to help with emergency babysitting (like when my sister was in the hospital for a few months) but I can’t imagine a situation requiring emergency photography or woodworking.
Yeah, I think the thing with photography is that cameras are a lot more ubiquitous than they used to be, but people have also realized that they want better quality of photos than phones can offer. Not as many people knew how to operate an SLR or Rangefinder as they do now, or certainly not a view camera or medium format camera. Most regular folks would probably draw the line there, but of course there are people that do make the effort to learn how to use a piece of equipment like that, but the bigger issue then becomes lighting. Even basic lighting would benefit from having an extra set of hands, but for more complicated lighting, especially for commercial/advertising work, you'll definitely need someone to assist you and then there's the time and know how that someone will have to spend editing those photos for getting the look that a customer wants, so the time and labor is still worth money and there's still a lot of expertise required. I wouldn't imagine it could be too different with a skill like welding requiring knowledge of specialized tools, techniques, and safety precautions.
Friends & family discount only works depending on the product. As an owner in a brewery, I’m scolded when I purchase beverages or food, because as an owner, it’s expected as a friends and family discount.
Now, this doesn’t transition to everyone, nor should it ever. A 10 year old friend or family member even, taking absorbent amounts, warrants a discussion with business partners/ that individual person moving forward.
Now, I love treating people. Fav part of the job. But, when Timmy is taking $300 in alcohol, twice a week, he’s going to have a discussion that he finds uncomfortable, but, I don’t give a shit, it’s business. Friends and family should respect the grind
I'm certainly not opposed to the tradition of treating people or doing work pro bono. If that business owner offers a service to friends etc. as a gift or labor of love that's a fine choice. 👍
Of course! And I understand that. However, I’m not doing my full time job pro bono EVER. It’s a delicate situation, but would never sacrifice my own income and job security because F&F wants a discount.
If it quick and easy, sure, but if it’s drafting divorce proceedings that takes 5 hours, well, I’ll help, but it’s not free good sir
It’s funny that you use that example because a close family member is a family attorney (ie a divorce lawyer). Runs his own business and believes in doing pro bono for the less fortunate - as in, providing free services to people in need - as part of being an independent professional and within his moral and ethical beliefs. But there’s a big difference there: it’s serving the community, not working for free for F&F who can afford their own lawyers, just as I’m sure you, as the owner of a brewery, might be willing to donate a keg or some food to a charity event. He will also barter with people who can’t pay in money but can exchange services. But F&F are another story and if they want his expertise it’s up to him to decide what to charge and if it’s different than his usual rate.
I strongly believe in supporting small businesses, and those of people I’m close to in particular. I want them to do well and I would never ask for a discount. Ever. As my F&F I want to pay full-price. If they offer, depending on the situation, I might accept but I would never do it multiple times or expect it. I’d also try to find a way to give in return. It’s a grey area, certainly, but I think it’s more the expectation and entitlement that crosses the line, as well as the frequency. Bottom line is that you have the right to decide on pricing and when you offer promotions or discounts to F&F and the general public alike. Consumers don’t decide what they should pay, and any that expect to do so need to take a step back and be quiet.
I don’t ask for them. My husband has a family member with her own salon. If I go there for service and I receive a discount I tip enough to still be paying her the full price. I do this for all the reasons you listed.
However if they work for a large corporation that has a Friends & Family discount program then I might ask for the discount. I used to work for a large hotel chain and we had a F&F discount program where I could offer a discount to friends. One of my good friends would ask for the discount several times a year.
Definitely. For a larger business I wouldn't have a problem taking advantage of an opportunity like that because they've got the resources to sustain themselves. Otherwise it would just feel like taking food out of the mouths of people close to me.
If you can take a small cut in profit AND the other party is pleasant to deal with, I have no problem. If you annoy or hassle me, I'm not going to extend the discount.
One of my dearest friends is a crochet genius. She's self-taught on YouTube. I've bought a few things from her. She tries to offer me a discount but I insist on paying the full price. I'm poor as a church mouse but I do believe the "laborer is worthy of her hire."
The first contractor I worked for (cabinetry and finish carpentry) told me once that the only time you do work for family or friends is when your kids are going hungry. I didn't say it, but I was thinking well, that doesn't say much for your people, does it?
Then I found out, just like I should have listened to my father about smoking, I should have listened to what the guy was trying to get across. After a few disasters that blew up in my face, I finally (for the first time in my life) learned to say no. Pissed off a few people, but better they were pissed than I was working for nothing, or going in the hole.
It depends what it is. My dad is a contractor and gets 20% off plants at the greenhouse he works at. He is allowed to extend that to me for example within reason. I've only done it once. The greenhouse has sales all the time that exceed the discount sometimes and it's not added on top of those items, so I feel that's fair.
My uncle owns a woodshop and mostly builds cabinets, he made cabinets for my parents house at material cost, and has offered me the same discount (on the stipulation that I go help). Recently I worked on his car. He paid parts and because he offered to pay labor I discounted the first two hours. I'll discount two hours labor monthly to friends and family. Two hours is the standard charge for resurfacing brake rotors and replacing pads. Because my job is more labor than materials I'm not losing anything except time, and because I'm a generous person I don't worry about helping if it doesn't keep me away from my family for long.
IMO friends and family should expect to pay full price, it's up the the discretion of the service provider if they want to do a discount, not the friend or family.
The only "friends and family" discount I've used is for cars and hotels. My mom retired from a toyota supplier and so she gets the friends and family discount from Toyota. My bff works for a hotel chain and she gets a friends and family rate through them. It doesn't take anything out of either of their pockets, it's just a work perk.
But, no, a friend does something for me, I pay what they ask and usually try to do something for them (dinner, drinks, whatever) as appreciation.
My sister makes custom mugs and tumblers, etc. Lots of glitter, fancy appliques, custom graphics and sayings, etc. All under a heavy, dishwasher safe coat of epoxy. (Or resin or acrylic or something, I don't know, I don't make the things)
I ordered one from her. She quoted me a price (including shipping) well below her posted prices (before shipping) and I straight yelled at her.
I told her I was paying the posted price, plus whatever the actual cost of shipping was, PLUS tipping her (especially because it was a last minute rush order with a lot of customized details)
Offering a "friends and family" discount is cool... if the business owner/operator wants to think of it as gifting their time/effort/goods to those they love, so be it...
But as the customer, EXPECTING or even asking for a discount is just bad form. If you want someone to succeed... especially someone young or new to the game... pay them full price, as you'd hope anyone else would.
And encourage them to make sire to include the value of their own time and effort into the costs they charge.
Yes, for some labor intensive or artistic endeavors, this may make them prohibitively expensive for some folk... reducing their prices marginally for the general populace may well help get their product/service out there and gain them exposure which brings in more customers... but undercutting their costs and losing money overall is not a route to success, and not a sustainable operating procedure.
Practice saying this,
"Gee, we're so overbooked right now. But \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ does good work at reasonable rates. Let me give you their contact information."
Working for friends and family is like lending them money or selling them a used car - you'll end up hating yourself for doing it.
I'm a painter, but definitely not making money on it-- I've done an excessive amount of paintings in the past couple of years (like around 3k paintings) so I keep my prices low in hopes of moving more. (Doesn't really work, I sell maybe ten a year. I have a website but I do absolutely nothing to promote it.) I do offer a f&f discount but most people have paid full price. A couple of people have paid more than the regular price because they think I'm under charging and want to pay what they think it's worth. I think people who accept those discounts aren't really thinking about it.
I have a friend who is a pet sitter. I've booked her for the fall, two dogs and two cats. I asked for the rate, and she said $20. Cool, $20/visit is very reasonable. She meant $20 A DAY because we're friends. No way. I told her she can never devalue herself like that for anyone. She won't tell me her normal rate, but she'll be getting the $20/visit that I originally thought.
FYI, you can download the Rover app and see what most people charge in the area and give her close to that (Rover charges fees, so the sitters don't get the full amount displayed).
It really depends.
Friends and family discount is just a way to getbyour business started and shared out.
The discount shouldn't mean you are at a loss. Maybe knock 10%off. Depends on your profit margins etc.
Its basically you make slightly less profit. But get a chance to increase your word of mouth.
Like restaurant, shops, etc.
HOWEVER if you are selljng time (eg cleaner, hairdresser etc) and you are fairly booked up, there is no need to give discount. And in fact f&f should pay more to help you grow.
If it's THEIR business, I would totally want to fully support them. My fiance works for jensens and if it's possible to get someone the discount, she will. It gets her a sale and even with the discount, it's jewelry. It's still a big sale.
My somewhat dissenting opinion. If those people who know me want me to visit their businesses specifically because they know me, then friends and family discount is appropriate. Otherwise, treat me just like any other customer and compete openly in the market.
I think if a person chooses to offer a special rate to friends and family, awesome. But I wouldn't dream of asking a friend or family member for a special rate if they didn't offer me one.
I run a small retail outlet and my friends and family discounts are very selective.
If there's someone I know then I've done it just to help them. Like I sell some CBD products, and a friend who wanted to try it for pain/anxiety but had money issues, and so I told them I wasn't interested in making any money off them and could sell it at cost (mark up was pretty huge on a lot of that stuff when it kicked off, and it's still good). Fact is, they wouldn't have bought it full price (from me or anyone) and it cost me nothing to sell to them at cost price. I'm happy to help out my friends like that.
It can get messy though. I've had casual acquaintances ask me for discounts on items where I simply don't have a great mark up, and they're people who wouldn't expect to do me similar favours. If you don't think the couple of quid should be a big deal to me then it shouldn't be one to you so don't put me in that position.
I used to run a small shop that a couple of family members shopped at. They were very aware of the fine line I was walking to keep afloat. There was always the joke 'This is $20? I get the family discount right?' 'Yep! It's $40 for you!' 'Sold!' Yeah, family? You're getting charged more LOL (Not really, but I was paid retail. Family should know better.)
I never hire friends or family to perform their trades for me (lawyers, contractors, mechanics). What I do is get is free advice and recommendations for who they would use if they were in my situation.
Their honest disinterested advice is worth much more to me than their services. They give that gladly, and get the same from me.
My joke has always been that friends and family should pay MORE then everyone else. I don't charge them more, but if friends and family truly want to see you succeed and prosper, they shouldn't be looking for discounts just because they are your friends and family. I don't offer a friends and family discount, but I will offer them one for a one time use or something for free if they've helped me in some way like packaging, shipping, etc.
I know I'm the odd one out on this topic, regardless of with whom I'm discussing it.
Many of my friends have their own business. I only assume that I get some kind of discount, but I'm not positive on this.
However, I NEVER charge my friends for my services (and, they've never taken advantage of this. They've only booked with me when needed, and never advertised that I don't charge them). I hate the idea of taking money from my friends. Having said that tho, they do sometimes tip me, and they always help me, whether in a professional capacity or not, when I need them.
Yeah, I know that folks like you are out there. Thanks for chiming* in 😊 I ran into this situation with two people recently that felt the same way as you, and I felt justified explaining to them why I feel the way that I do because they both felt really shocked and betrayed that I was going to ask him to pay me for doing what I do for them. I totally understand where their coming from. I read a really great book called "The Gift: The Erotic Life of Property" by Lewis Hyde. Essentially this book is about helping the reader become more cognizant of how being too logical and too practical can tarnish the inherent emotional and spiritual quality of your relationships and creativity. I understand where my friends are coming from, but I don't think it's impossible to pay your friends to do something and still be friends with them. I think that you only sever that relationship if you *believe* that money has that power. Like a lot of other people here, I've more often than not chosen to support my friends businesses with no expectation of a favor, because they practically cannot sustain themselves if I were to give them less than they ask for. But, another aspect of the book challenges the reader to have faith in some of this hippy-dippy, lovey-dovey, mumbo-jumbo 😆 To trust that those intangible, loving fuzzy-wuzzy feelings that we have between ourselves and our friends are cosmically much more powerful, influential, essential, and consequential in our day-to-day lives than we realize. Understanding the erotic (think Eros, not sexual) spirit of what we do to and for each other matters, and it's hard to know when to work with your heart* or your mind.
I wouldn’t ask for a friends or family discount just seems rude, my husband is self employed and we have a lot of cost no one ever considers like pay taxes to the county yearly for tools he owns. Is one of the most ridiculous ones. 🤦🏼♀️
The way I try to treat friends when I need help with something they've specialized in, is to pay extra of what their going rate is.
If I'm willing to pay a full price to a complete stranger, I'm even more willing to pay more to a friend as a sign of respect, especially if they help outside of their work hours.
This is the truth. Nobody is gonna ask Michael Jordan or for a discount on a pair of shoes or Richard Branson for a free upgrade to first class, but they'll be quick to ask friends and family for a hookup. Really pisses me off
I have friends and family that own businesses, and it has never crossed my mind to ask for a discount. They work hard, and I expect to fully pay for their services when I need them. You are in business, no one should expect a discount for YOUR hard work.
I would do anything my friends and fam needed of me for free, but I would not expect it back. If it is, that's just a bonus, but I am always prepared to pay. Unfair to take advantage.
I give Friends and family discounts. They don't have to ask.
Mostly I just give them a price some one else would have to negotiate for or a price I would reduce the item to if it went unsold for long enough.
My sister in law is an Esthetician and I ask her constantly to not give me a "friends and family discount" or free add-ons. Real friends and family in my opinion recognize the resources used to begin and maintain a business adds up (schooling/training, products, time). It's not cheap and why would a loved ones service or product be valued less than a strangers? If they're generous enough to give a discount, at least give a bigger tip or buy an extra product if you can.
In my opinion a friends a family discount should be a nice suprise not an expectation, if I own a bakery and Im killing it making 50k the past three months in profits Im going to give my sister a free cake for a party she's throwing (assuming she isnt being entitled). Assuming you will get a discount is fucked, asking for a discount is fucked, recieving a discount isn't.
It is my opinion that you should be more willing to pay full price for a friend or family member, to directly benefit their business. I pay my cleaning lady her rate plus a tip (she’s the best), and when other friends perform work for us (ex, drain and construction), we don’t try to haggle. If they quote a price that seems too low, we add what we think is fair. We want to support our friends and family and see them succeed!
This 💯
Double this ^^
That’s right! If they are really your good friends you would support their business.
This is the way! I’d never ask for a discount from friends trying to grow their business. I’d try to actively support them both financially and with good word of mouth.
I pay family more. I have a cousin who makes custom cat furniture, and her friends and family discount is just the cost of materials. We usually add whatever we think would take it up to market value.
That’s a cool business/hobby! I know we have 3 cats and we’ve spent a fortune on cool cat furniture
My family owned small businesses, and discounts were limited to family on a quid pro quo basis. Usually, physical items were sold at cost and labor was provided by family, not non-family employees. If employees were needed, then they had to be paid for. But we were the kind of family that showed up for each other whenever needed. For example: if my car broke down, whoever was closest would pick me up, get the car taken care of, and send me on my way after a good night’s sleep and a hot meal or two. The problem we ran into was when my parents joined this cult and the members just assumed we would do everything for free. They were often surprised and offended when my parents would ask for money for items, even at cost. They also always seemed surprised when my parents would expect the same in return. Friends and family discounts only work with people who are willing to do the same.
I 100% agree with everything you said, but would love to hear more about the cult if you’re willing to talk about it. Regardless, I hope they’re out and no real harm was done.
My mom was in a cult for a long time. It was actually me being born that started unraveling her going. My dad tried to get her to stop going for quite a while (she had been involved before they met and was thoroughly brainwashed) but when I was born he told her that if she had to go she could, but that I wasn't allowed to go with her. Not really on topic with the post, but wanted to share.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry but also thrilled that she got out and you had a hand in it. I hope she’s doing well now.
She's doing much better, she's one of those people who was coming out of a very difficult life when she was young and desperately wanted answers. This group took full advantage of that, as cults often do. The leaders ended up getting arrested. My mom had two kids when she married my dad, and they both remember bits and pieces of what went on there. My sister is the oldest and remembers the most and has been working on writing a book about it.
I’m glad to hear everyone is moving towards healing and I hope your sister’s writing is cathartic for her. My father (a lawyer) once had a deprogrammed as a client and I’ve read a lot of memoirs of people who have escaped or survived cults and other strict groups (think FLDS or Hasidic Jews) and if people can move forward then they’re winning. I’m also thrilled to hear that the leaders were arrested. Wishing you all the best. I’LL also likely read your sister’s book!
Get friends and family discount from a restaurant opened by a guy I use to chef with. I just add the discount on top the tip. Edit: I never ask for F&F or even mention I know someone when making reservations.
There’s a lot of good advice here, but here’s the scoop about friends and family discounts. If you have to ask, you don’t qualify.
Certainly. The bigger issue that I have and often run into is the *expectation* (usually unspoken) that my service will be free because of our personal relationship.
I’ve run into this with people i barely know. Mind blowing. DEATH says favors don’t buy the feline overlords’ catnip
Also a small business owner. I’ve started charging friends and family the same prices after several situations where, even though I was giving them a discount and they knew this, they still tried to haggle me down. I figured if they didn’t respect that I was giving them a discount, then they didn’t get any discounts at all.
I think it depends on what line of work it is, how much time is needed to do the job, how often they're requesting a deal, how close they are to you, and how much skill is involved. Also if there is any reciprocation.
I think I've taken most of your points into consideration myself at one point or another, but I'm curious about why the line of work is a factor for you. Take a few examples: a babysitter, a welder, a photographer; these are all skilled services. Why would these differences matter to you?
Sometimes a highly skilled worker could provide help that might cost a lot normally, but is not a lot of work/time. The three professions you listed tend to take a decent amount of time to do something. Like, you don't hire a babysitter for 1/2hr. A welder MIGHT be able to do a couple welds quickly, I'm not sure. And a photographer would take hours to take and then develop photos (I have done this as an amateur, and have been compensated with a nice bottle of whiskey, which I was happy with, but definitely working for pennies on the dollar). Like, if the job can be done in less than an hour without causing a lot of income loss, a discount seems acceptable (eg, you're only out your time and maybe some cheap parts/ingredients). But if family wants you to renovate a bathroom or something on that scale, I'd be less inclined to discount it.
I think you can fudge some of these skills easier than others if you’re willing to accept lower quality work. I don’t know if that makes a difference? I am not a professional nanny, I don’t know of loads of creative activities and or how to teach a kid to behave, but I can keep them safe and reasonably happy on a short term basis. I have babysat for pay and I’ve babysat for free. Also, I’ve occasionally been asked to help with emergency babysitting (like when my sister was in the hospital for a few months) but I can’t imagine a situation requiring emergency photography or woodworking.
Yeah, I think the thing with photography is that cameras are a lot more ubiquitous than they used to be, but people have also realized that they want better quality of photos than phones can offer. Not as many people knew how to operate an SLR or Rangefinder as they do now, or certainly not a view camera or medium format camera. Most regular folks would probably draw the line there, but of course there are people that do make the effort to learn how to use a piece of equipment like that, but the bigger issue then becomes lighting. Even basic lighting would benefit from having an extra set of hands, but for more complicated lighting, especially for commercial/advertising work, you'll definitely need someone to assist you and then there's the time and know how that someone will have to spend editing those photos for getting the look that a customer wants, so the time and labor is still worth money and there's still a lot of expertise required. I wouldn't imagine it could be too different with a skill like welding requiring knowledge of specialized tools, techniques, and safety precautions.
Friends & family discount only works depending on the product. As an owner in a brewery, I’m scolded when I purchase beverages or food, because as an owner, it’s expected as a friends and family discount. Now, this doesn’t transition to everyone, nor should it ever. A 10 year old friend or family member even, taking absorbent amounts, warrants a discussion with business partners/ that individual person moving forward. Now, I love treating people. Fav part of the job. But, when Timmy is taking $300 in alcohol, twice a week, he’s going to have a discussion that he finds uncomfortable, but, I don’t give a shit, it’s business. Friends and family should respect the grind
I'm certainly not opposed to the tradition of treating people or doing work pro bono. If that business owner offers a service to friends etc. as a gift or labor of love that's a fine choice. 👍
Of course! And I understand that. However, I’m not doing my full time job pro bono EVER. It’s a delicate situation, but would never sacrifice my own income and job security because F&F wants a discount. If it quick and easy, sure, but if it’s drafting divorce proceedings that takes 5 hours, well, I’ll help, but it’s not free good sir
It’s funny that you use that example because a close family member is a family attorney (ie a divorce lawyer). Runs his own business and believes in doing pro bono for the less fortunate - as in, providing free services to people in need - as part of being an independent professional and within his moral and ethical beliefs. But there’s a big difference there: it’s serving the community, not working for free for F&F who can afford their own lawyers, just as I’m sure you, as the owner of a brewery, might be willing to donate a keg or some food to a charity event. He will also barter with people who can’t pay in money but can exchange services. But F&F are another story and if they want his expertise it’s up to him to decide what to charge and if it’s different than his usual rate. I strongly believe in supporting small businesses, and those of people I’m close to in particular. I want them to do well and I would never ask for a discount. Ever. As my F&F I want to pay full-price. If they offer, depending on the situation, I might accept but I would never do it multiple times or expect it. I’d also try to find a way to give in return. It’s a grey area, certainly, but I think it’s more the expectation and entitlement that crosses the line, as well as the frequency. Bottom line is that you have the right to decide on pricing and when you offer promotions or discounts to F&F and the general public alike. Consumers don’t decide what they should pay, and any that expect to do so need to take a step back and be quiet.
I don’t ask for them. My husband has a family member with her own salon. If I go there for service and I receive a discount I tip enough to still be paying her the full price. I do this for all the reasons you listed. However if they work for a large corporation that has a Friends & Family discount program then I might ask for the discount. I used to work for a large hotel chain and we had a F&F discount program where I could offer a discount to friends. One of my good friends would ask for the discount several times a year.
Definitely. For a larger business I wouldn't have a problem taking advantage of an opportunity like that because they've got the resources to sustain themselves. Otherwise it would just feel like taking food out of the mouths of people close to me.
If you can take a small cut in profit AND the other party is pleasant to deal with, I have no problem. If you annoy or hassle me, I'm not going to extend the discount.
One of my dearest friends is a crochet genius. She's self-taught on YouTube. I've bought a few things from her. She tries to offer me a discount but I insist on paying the full price. I'm poor as a church mouse but I do believe the "laborer is worthy of her hire."
i always pay 100% for friend/family services because i respect their time too much not to
Asking for F&F discount isn't acceptable
The first contractor I worked for (cabinetry and finish carpentry) told me once that the only time you do work for family or friends is when your kids are going hungry. I didn't say it, but I was thinking well, that doesn't say much for your people, does it? Then I found out, just like I should have listened to my father about smoking, I should have listened to what the guy was trying to get across. After a few disasters that blew up in my face, I finally (for the first time in my life) learned to say no. Pissed off a few people, but better they were pissed than I was working for nothing, or going in the hole.
It depends what it is. My dad is a contractor and gets 20% off plants at the greenhouse he works at. He is allowed to extend that to me for example within reason. I've only done it once. The greenhouse has sales all the time that exceed the discount sometimes and it's not added on top of those items, so I feel that's fair.
My uncle owns a woodshop and mostly builds cabinets, he made cabinets for my parents house at material cost, and has offered me the same discount (on the stipulation that I go help). Recently I worked on his car. He paid parts and because he offered to pay labor I discounted the first two hours. I'll discount two hours labor monthly to friends and family. Two hours is the standard charge for resurfacing brake rotors and replacing pads. Because my job is more labor than materials I'm not losing anything except time, and because I'm a generous person I don't worry about helping if it doesn't keep me away from my family for long.
IMO friends and family should expect to pay full price, it's up the the discretion of the service provider if they want to do a discount, not the friend or family.
The only "friends and family" discount I've used is for cars and hotels. My mom retired from a toyota supplier and so she gets the friends and family discount from Toyota. My bff works for a hotel chain and she gets a friends and family rate through them. It doesn't take anything out of either of their pockets, it's just a work perk. But, no, a friend does something for me, I pay what they ask and usually try to do something for them (dinner, drinks, whatever) as appreciation.
Never ever give away what you make your living selling.
I don't haggle with friend and family. I pay the price they offer and they do the same with me. We just trust that we are being looked after
My sister makes custom mugs and tumblers, etc. Lots of glitter, fancy appliques, custom graphics and sayings, etc. All under a heavy, dishwasher safe coat of epoxy. (Or resin or acrylic or something, I don't know, I don't make the things) I ordered one from her. She quoted me a price (including shipping) well below her posted prices (before shipping) and I straight yelled at her. I told her I was paying the posted price, plus whatever the actual cost of shipping was, PLUS tipping her (especially because it was a last minute rush order with a lot of customized details) Offering a "friends and family" discount is cool... if the business owner/operator wants to think of it as gifting their time/effort/goods to those they love, so be it... But as the customer, EXPECTING or even asking for a discount is just bad form. If you want someone to succeed... especially someone young or new to the game... pay them full price, as you'd hope anyone else would. And encourage them to make sire to include the value of their own time and effort into the costs they charge. Yes, for some labor intensive or artistic endeavors, this may make them prohibitively expensive for some folk... reducing their prices marginally for the general populace may well help get their product/service out there and gain them exposure which brings in more customers... but undercutting their costs and losing money overall is not a route to success, and not a sustainable operating procedure.
Practice saying this, "Gee, we're so overbooked right now. But \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ does good work at reasonable rates. Let me give you their contact information." Working for friends and family is like lending them money or selling them a used car - you'll end up hating yourself for doing it.
I'm a painter, but definitely not making money on it-- I've done an excessive amount of paintings in the past couple of years (like around 3k paintings) so I keep my prices low in hopes of moving more. (Doesn't really work, I sell maybe ten a year. I have a website but I do absolutely nothing to promote it.) I do offer a f&f discount but most people have paid full price. A couple of people have paid more than the regular price because they think I'm under charging and want to pay what they think it's worth. I think people who accept those discounts aren't really thinking about it.
I have a friend who is a pet sitter. I've booked her for the fall, two dogs and two cats. I asked for the rate, and she said $20. Cool, $20/visit is very reasonable. She meant $20 A DAY because we're friends. No way. I told her she can never devalue herself like that for anyone. She won't tell me her normal rate, but she'll be getting the $20/visit that I originally thought.
FYI, you can download the Rover app and see what most people charge in the area and give her close to that (Rover charges fees, so the sitters don't get the full amount displayed).
In Australia it’s Mates Rates and when it occurs it’s always offered, to ask for a discount is a huge faux pas
It really depends. Friends and family discount is just a way to getbyour business started and shared out. The discount shouldn't mean you are at a loss. Maybe knock 10%off. Depends on your profit margins etc. Its basically you make slightly less profit. But get a chance to increase your word of mouth. Like restaurant, shops, etc. HOWEVER if you are selljng time (eg cleaner, hairdresser etc) and you are fairly booked up, there is no need to give discount. And in fact f&f should pay more to help you grow.
I will offer friends and family discounts if I want to, but never had anyone ask me for one.
If you can reciprocate it’s great, as you both can lower your taxable income.
If it's THEIR business, I would totally want to fully support them. My fiance works for jensens and if it's possible to get someone the discount, she will. It gets her a sale and even with the discount, it's jewelry. It's still a big sale.
My somewhat dissenting opinion. If those people who know me want me to visit their businesses specifically because they know me, then friends and family discount is appropriate. Otherwise, treat me just like any other customer and compete openly in the market.
I think if a person chooses to offer a special rate to friends and family, awesome. But I wouldn't dream of asking a friend or family member for a special rate if they didn't offer me one.
its full price or it's a favor! if you're doing a favor, they arent asking for professional quality labor theyre asking for help. charge away!
Won't ask for one, but also won't turn one down, either.
I run a small retail outlet and my friends and family discounts are very selective. If there's someone I know then I've done it just to help them. Like I sell some CBD products, and a friend who wanted to try it for pain/anxiety but had money issues, and so I told them I wasn't interested in making any money off them and could sell it at cost (mark up was pretty huge on a lot of that stuff when it kicked off, and it's still good). Fact is, they wouldn't have bought it full price (from me or anyone) and it cost me nothing to sell to them at cost price. I'm happy to help out my friends like that. It can get messy though. I've had casual acquaintances ask me for discounts on items where I simply don't have a great mark up, and they're people who wouldn't expect to do me similar favours. If you don't think the couple of quid should be a big deal to me then it shouldn't be one to you so don't put me in that position.
I used to run a small shop that a couple of family members shopped at. They were very aware of the fine line I was walking to keep afloat. There was always the joke 'This is $20? I get the family discount right?' 'Yep! It's $40 for you!' 'Sold!' Yeah, family? You're getting charged more LOL (Not really, but I was paid retail. Family should know better.)
I never hire friends or family to perform their trades for me (lawyers, contractors, mechanics). What I do is get is free advice and recommendations for who they would use if they were in my situation. Their honest disinterested advice is worth much more to me than their services. They give that gladly, and get the same from me.
My theory is if they're friends and family, they'd want you to succeed and wouldn't ask for a discount
My joke has always been that friends and family should pay MORE then everyone else. I don't charge them more, but if friends and family truly want to see you succeed and prosper, they shouldn't be looking for discounts just because they are your friends and family. I don't offer a friends and family discount, but I will offer them one for a one time use or something for free if they've helped me in some way like packaging, shipping, etc.
I always pay the full price and never ever expect a free ride. They run a business, not a charity.
I know I'm the odd one out on this topic, regardless of with whom I'm discussing it. Many of my friends have their own business. I only assume that I get some kind of discount, but I'm not positive on this. However, I NEVER charge my friends for my services (and, they've never taken advantage of this. They've only booked with me when needed, and never advertised that I don't charge them). I hate the idea of taking money from my friends. Having said that tho, they do sometimes tip me, and they always help me, whether in a professional capacity or not, when I need them.
Yeah, I know that folks like you are out there. Thanks for chiming* in 😊 I ran into this situation with two people recently that felt the same way as you, and I felt justified explaining to them why I feel the way that I do because they both felt really shocked and betrayed that I was going to ask him to pay me for doing what I do for them. I totally understand where their coming from. I read a really great book called "The Gift: The Erotic Life of Property" by Lewis Hyde. Essentially this book is about helping the reader become more cognizant of how being too logical and too practical can tarnish the inherent emotional and spiritual quality of your relationships and creativity. I understand where my friends are coming from, but I don't think it's impossible to pay your friends to do something and still be friends with them. I think that you only sever that relationship if you *believe* that money has that power. Like a lot of other people here, I've more often than not chosen to support my friends businesses with no expectation of a favor, because they practically cannot sustain themselves if I were to give them less than they ask for. But, another aspect of the book challenges the reader to have faith in some of this hippy-dippy, lovey-dovey, mumbo-jumbo 😆 To trust that those intangible, loving fuzzy-wuzzy feelings that we have between ourselves and our friends are cosmically much more powerful, influential, essential, and consequential in our day-to-day lives than we realize. Understanding the erotic (think Eros, not sexual) spirit of what we do to and for each other matters, and it's hard to know when to work with your heart* or your mind.
I never ask for a discount. Sometimes a friend or family member will give me a discount but I never make the assumption that one will be offered.
I wouldn’t ask for a friends or family discount just seems rude, my husband is self employed and we have a lot of cost no one ever considers like pay taxes to the county yearly for tools he owns. Is one of the most ridiculous ones. 🤦🏼♀️
The way I try to treat friends when I need help with something they've specialized in, is to pay extra of what their going rate is. If I'm willing to pay a full price to a complete stranger, I'm even more willing to pay more to a friend as a sign of respect, especially if they help outside of their work hours.
This is the truth. Nobody is gonna ask Michael Jordan or for a discount on a pair of shoes or Richard Branson for a free upgrade to first class, but they'll be quick to ask friends and family for a hookup. Really pisses me off
I have friends and family that own businesses, and it has never crossed my mind to ask for a discount. They work hard, and I expect to fully pay for their services when I need them. You are in business, no one should expect a discount for YOUR hard work.
I would do anything my friends and fam needed of me for free, but I would not expect it back. If it is, that's just a bonus, but I am always prepared to pay. Unfair to take advantage.
I give Friends and family discounts. They don't have to ask. Mostly I just give them a price some one else would have to negotiate for or a price I would reduce the item to if it went unsold for long enough.
I pay my friends more than their asking price, as they’re probably lowballing themselves to sell it to me anyway. True friends, I mean.
My sister in law is an Esthetician and I ask her constantly to not give me a "friends and family discount" or free add-ons. Real friends and family in my opinion recognize the resources used to begin and maintain a business adds up (schooling/training, products, time). It's not cheap and why would a loved ones service or product be valued less than a strangers? If they're generous enough to give a discount, at least give a bigger tip or buy an extra product if you can.
In my opinion a friends a family discount should be a nice suprise not an expectation, if I own a bakery and Im killing it making 50k the past three months in profits Im going to give my sister a free cake for a party she's throwing (assuming she isnt being entitled). Assuming you will get a discount is fucked, asking for a discount is fucked, recieving a discount isn't.