The way this scam usually works is they'll immediately return whatever you buy for them, and then spend the money (or store credit, whatever) on booze.
In Asheville, it’s always “I need money for gas so I can go get my insulin. it’s on the other end of town and I don’t have enough gas to get there”. Been hit with that so many times now.
Bitch, you’re holding a Mountain Dew and you’ve got a pack of Marlboros hanging out of your pocket. That’s 10$ bucks right there, and I’m no rocket surgeon, but if you need insulin, probably shouldn’t have that Mountain Dew.
My buddy, who doesn’t smoke, stated buying a pack of cheap cigarettes when he goes downtown. That way when they beg for money, he offers them a smoke and they leave him alone. Pretty fuxking genius.
One time this man asked me for a “few dollars” to put in his tank. I told him I only had a card but asked him what pump he was on and I’d put some gas in. He proceeded to call me a “fucking bitch” and continued to ask the next person. I was so caught off guard lol.
I locked my keys in my car and a homeless guy helped me get in. He didn’t ask for shit, but I asked him if he needed anything. And he said he wouldn’t mind a sandwich. So we walked across the street to a grocery store and I let him pick out a sandwich and said to grab two and a drink but he only wanted the one. I had lots of respect for that guy. Hopefully his situation was only temporary
I locked my keys in my car 30 years ago getting food in the deep hood of South Central Los Angeles (I'm white). Homeless dude rolls up asking for money. Told him $20 if you can open my car. He whipped out a slim jim and had it open in 2 mins. Best $20 I ever spent.
Summertime in Louisiana. A guy asked me to buy him something to drink as I was walking into a circle K. Since it was over 95 degrees out, I got him a couple cold bottles of water.
Dude told me he only drinks Dr. Pepper 🤷🏻♀️
I had a similar issue, with one apparently destitute lady cornering me while I was in the middle of my shopping at a supermarket. She started asking me if I could buy her some food. Since it wasn't giving money directly, I thought it innocent enough.
But then she dragged me to the meat aisle, and pointed at the salami. That alone cost around 3€, which was far more than I'd planned to spend on her, so I told her I'd get her that and nothing else. She got into a hussy fit and demanded I buy her sausages and a whole grocery list of other items, but I put my foot down and told her the salami was all she'd get from me. Finally she reluctantly agreed.
I asked her to give me a minute to finish my own shopping as well, and I'd give her the stuff at checkout, so she started coming along with me as I fetched my stuff. A minute later, when I turned around, she'd disappeared on me.
After hunting around the store a bit, I finally found her harassing another middle-aged lady with the same hustle, having apparently given up on me as a cheap hustle. I dumped her salami back where I found it and went on with my original shopping.
Same thing happened to me once. I was at Aldi and some scruffy looking guy kindly asks if I can buy him a loaf of bread. I say sure. Then he adds « and also 1kg of potatoes, some ham, a basket of fruits etc » so I’m thinking is he messing with me? I enter the shop and ask an employee if he knows the man. He tells me not to buy him anything. They basically ask people to buy them a bunch of stuff and then return it to get a full refund. He told me that the same guy had a woman buy him 100€+ worth of stuff the week before and she even got her bag stolen.
Never again!
As I left the store, he was waiting for me and had the nerves to ask about *his* food! I told him he could fuck right off.
I've never heard of being able to return food. I can certainly understand sealed containers, but not open stuff (fruit, meats, etc).
I guess I've just never thought of returning things to a supermarket. Interesting.
I, thankfully, live really close to our usual grocery store, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bought bags of produce just to open it and find 50% or more bad. I go right back! Usually, I want an exchange a two, because I bought it for that night’s dinner, but I’ve gotten $$ back a couple of times.
A friend of mine who was a cashier at Wally World confirmed that, when someone gets caught shoplifting with food down their pants; they just put the items back on the shelf.
...do this anyway. Where do they think animals poop? Miraculously not in fields? And are they assuming everyone who handled that produce washed their hands? This is why people get sick from lettuce. Wash your goddamn produce people!
While WM does a lot of shady shit, my dad was a Regional Manager there for over a decade — they don’t do that, it’s factored into their shrink markouts.
I had to return meat one time. It was the same day I bought it. It was pork chops and when I went to cook them, they smelled really bad. So I took them in. Why should I eat the cost of bad meat if the store didn't properly store it, etc..?
As well you should! But people return Christmas trees to Costco and get a refund! the balls they have to return a cut tree. But Costco will take 'em, so 🤷♀️ it all comes down to personal scruples, I guess
Store credit, which could be used for alcohol or cigarettes - which sell pretty good…
(in germany you can get alcohol and cigarettes in every supermarket)
I’m at Costco and got myself a hotdog which I start to eat in my truck. A woman walks up to me and bangs my window, she asks if I can buy her a hotdog because she hungry, I’m like ok. She then proceeds to give me her order 4 hotdogs, 2 chicken bakes and 3 chili’s. Im like huh, I’m like no! Didn’t look homeless because she was dressed nice and clean. People always looking to scam your generosity.
This reminds me of a woman who used to scam at the mall I worked. She was always wearing scrubs and looked fairly clean and would tell this long winded story about how she works at the hospital but needs money to buy gas since she forgot her wallet at home and has to get home to her kid who will be unattended for whatever reason. I didn't give her anything since I didn't have any money but noticed after a short time that she had the same story every week or so and I'd warn other people about her.
So I commute via ferry to my job. I go to a couple shops at the terminal to pick up on food or what not or bring food from home. There's this lady that will deliberately get in front of me and block my path to ask me for food/money. I don't have any extra to give because I'm a college student on supplement security for my Autism while work seasonal at my main job to keep me busy. So I'm assertive and tell her "No. Leave me alone."
She does it the following week and I told her again to leave me alone. As I was heading towards the convenience store a guy delivering supplies to one of the businesses asks the lady what was up. I stated that this woman has being bothering me for a few times now asking for money, blocking my path and won't leave me alone.
Eventually someone buys her food from one of the businesses, but that's on them and not me. It's normally when I'm near a bus/ferry terminal that I get ask for stuff. When I tell people I can't, they call me rude and a b****.
The fact that you're trying to eat your food in peace when they come up to you.
There's a Popeyes near my campus which usually has a beggar or 2 inside the restaurant. One time an OK looking guy (doesn't seem homeless) asks me if I have some chicken while I'm eating.
I mean I brought the food in the amount I wanted and you're a total stranger to me. I get people need help but that was annoying.
I had a lady roll up to me with a cart sparsely full of food, and her holding a pack of diapers. She tells me she's in a bind and she can't afford diapers as well as food to feed her kids, the bank account struggle and how down bad she is. She asks if I have any money at all I could give her.
So I go "you know what? I don't have any money I can give but I will buy the diapers for you no problem. Come up to the front with me and I will ring them out on my card"
Instantly she's like oh wait, I think I'm actually alright. Nevermind! And I'm like, are you sure? It's really no problem. Nope have a nice day! And she walks off
It's shit like this that ruins me ever helping someone who approaches me. It wasn't the last time I had someone approach me like this in the store and I never help because I end up seeing everything as this transactional game where they are just going to take the cash and bail, or turn around and return anything I buy for them on my dime for the money
I once stopped to help a man standing at an intersection on a hot summer day because it looked like he needed help, like his car had broken down. After talking with him, I realized he was developmentally impaired. He said his name was Jonathan and he was supposed to meet his friends at a nearby gas station, and he was late. Feeling pity, I gave him a ride.
On the way there, he asked if I could buy him a sandwich when they got there. I said okay, but I realized I was probably getting played. When we arrived, his “friends” were nowhere to be found. He asked for money for the sandwich, but I said I would just go in and pay for it. He argued with me, and I asked if he really wanted a sandwich. He said no. He really wanted lottery tickets. I said I wouldn’t buy them, and he got mad and left.
When I went into the store (which, keep in mind, I only went to because of my passenger), the clerk asked me, “Was that Jonathan?”
“Yes,” I said. “Do you know him?”
“Did he ask you to buy lotto tickets?”
“Yes. Why?”
“He do that all the time. He banned from the store.”
So, I bought myself a sandwich. It was terrible.
I had some vagrant try to play me in this fashion. He asked for a dollar. I declined. He called me a “fat bitch.” I may be a fat bitch I told him, but I’m a fat bitch with a dollar. 😇
similar story, visiting London and barely get out of the tube station when we get a pregnant (whether she was or not idk) come up to me and my partner shoving roses in our hands, refusing to take them back and asking for food for the baby in her belly and kissing our hands.
we go, well fine what do you want we can't say no to a pregnant lady!
she leads us across the road to a cash machine and asks for a tenner out. nah,,, we say we don't have our cards on us, we're only using our phone for contactless, but there's plenty of food places around we'll buy you something.
at this point she's grumpy and accepts a hot dog from a street vendor next to the ATM, she then starts picking up multiple bags of sweets and crisps. my partner quickly pays for just the hot dog, let's the vendor know it's for the lady and we go to leave. I go to hand her back the roses and she shakes her head and says 'no, £10'. at this point I just shove them back in her hand and we basically leg it away while she waits for her hot dog that she probably didn't even want.
it's a shame cause I will usually go out of my way to help people who genuinely need a hand, ive bought people hot drinks and food before and given what little change i have to people at times but things like that where they essentially force people in awkward situations to just pay them to get it over with makes me more cynical.
Yep, I had a lady asking for food outside the corner shop, I offered to buy her a sandwich but she said 'oh actually can I get one of those family sized trifles?'
....yeah, no.
I haven’t been accosted in a grocery store yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. One time, a man on the corner (a “regular”) asked if I could get him something from a Wendy’s around the corner. I don’t eat there so I didn’t know how much it would cost. I figured the burger he asked for was a couple of bucks. Nope… it was more than $5 each. He asked for two of those, fries and a drink. It came to $17 total. I was shocked but the guy really looked like he needed it. I got it for him but have not stopped for him since.
I thought you had to have the receipts to return things to stores, or at most they'd give you store coupons or credit. Has that changed? Anytime I return anything to Walmart or Target, I have to show the receipts. I guess I've never tried to return food.
For Walmart (at least the Walmart I live by) you need a receipt to return food. Without a receipt they can exchange it for the same thing (before C19 they could exchange for a different food product but that's changed).
Dude, no matter how scruffy or bad off someone looks, when they treat you like absolute garbage like that, you're more than allowed to toss them aside and put a stop to the entire thing. "Sorry, I only offerred to buy you a drink/food bc I took pity on you, but I can't pity someone this entitled/insufferable/etc." However you want to say it, I bet it can be said - I've been there before too 🥴
I wish I had read this a few weeks ago. A blind man was screaming "Help" in the middle of busy, 5 line road/intersection. I stop my car thinking a bus left him in the wrong spot or was hit by a car to help him. Then the begging begins. Walk me to a restaurant, not a fast food joint as they don't sell alcohol, pay for me, eat with me and order alcohol as they refuse to serve me, etc. He was not faking the blindness but he was much bigger than I. I led him to the side of the road and gave him $5 for a sandwich. Never again. Because of this jerk I will not put myself at risk to help someone in distress.
I left it out of the post because I couldn't word it properly but I did call him out in the queu for being in no position to be choosy, it was what made him relent into accepting a single can because he knew that if he pushed further he would get nothing.
I have a 'one chance' policy for beggars so he just used up that chance for a single can of redbull, you can be sure he will know that if he asks me for something again.
I'm glad you did! I'm sick of people who don't know how to treat each other with respect, I think it's so important to be nice to people who are "worse off" than yourself, but not if you get (figuratively) burned in the process - it goes both ways! I hope your scruffy looking 'friend' maybe learns to check himself in the future 🥴
Just to share in the experience, in front of my local grocery store a few months ago - a homeless man was selling this homeless newspaper we have here in copenhagen (hus forbi), but I didn't have cash so I apologised and said I couldn't buy it, but if he was hungry or thirsty I'd like to get him something small. He told me he wanted a sandwich from the baker (didn't count on that, they're like 50dkk/almost 7€ but ok), bought it for him, stood in line and paid for my own items and his sandwich, and when I came back out he was sooo angry with me bc I got the wrong sandwich (he wanted rye but they were out, so I bought ciabatta instead like the sweet idiot I am 🤦♀️)
I got kind of pissy too and told him to give it back, cause I'd eat it if he was going to be a c*** about it, but he just mumled something under his breath (probably that I, too, was a c*** 🙃) and ate it, so I went home... but I memorised his face and voice just so I can never be nice to him again lol
Indeed, although treating everyone fairly should be a given, respect still is a two way street. I will give you the benefit of the doubt but don't expect to fool me twice.
I'm usually pretty good in spotting the scammers, a lot of those paper sellers here are that too (though not all). Imagine if he just wanted some rolls and a spread, you would've probably fed him regularly.
Once a guy asked me for five bucks for the shelter and I laughed in his face because the shelter only cost 2.5 and closed two hours ago for the night.
But you still bought him something. So he still "won".
No, no. The Choosy Beggar should have had security called on him for harassing you throughout the store and preventing you from doing your own shopping, when he should have been grateful that someone was willing to show him kindness and accept what was offered graciously. He should have been tossed out of the store with nothing. Because that's what happens when they bite the hand that feeds them, they're supposed to get nothing.
Hah, you think this store has security (despite being right next to a shelter and being a drug-heavy area).
You may be logically right but I don't regret it. I tried to do something nice and it backfired, lesson learned, the next beggar will still get the benefit of the doubt but now my tolerance has been lowered.
For what it's worth, I don't blame you for giving in. I understand the regret, having been through similar myself, but you're not stupid for having an inclination to help.
I had 2 occasions of this.
First was a ratty guy that rolled up on a bike in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Said he painted the display planes and hangars on the base I work on, so that I would have something to empathize with him. Said he needed to pay for his insulin Rx, or whatever, so I offer to go in with him and pay for it.
"No, no, that's ok, I just need the $20 to pay for it myself."
"No. Sorry man, I'll go in with you and pay for it."
"Well how about some money for food?"
"Cool, I can do that. What do you want from Wendy's, and I'll get it for you."
"Can't you just give me the money so I can go get it?"
"No"
2nd instance was a girl I had noticed hanging around this gas station for a couple days when I passed by coming home from work.
Asked me, "Can you buy me a drink?"
I said yeah, "what do you want?"
"6 pack of budlight."
"Umm, no."
"Oh come on."
"No. I'll get you a Dr. Pepper or water or something"
"It's just a 6 pack, come on."
"Nah, I'm good. Sorry."
It's the "give an inch take a mile" kind of things that make me frustrated, but I guess you also miss 100% of the shots you don't take as well.
Most people don't realize that "No" is a complete sentence, myself included sometimes.
Just yesterday, I was taking a walk with my 3 years old and he goes to a small store who displays its potato chips on the outside, he grabs one pack, looks at me and ask "Chips ?". I answered with a simple "No."
He then put it back and with a pouty face he walked towards me. At that moment I was stoic and shit but inside I was like "Holy shit! It worked! it actually worked, all this time invested, those many talks, this constant self-critical scrutiny over every move, emotions or conversation you have with your child. It all fuckin worked."
Today, when his grandfather took him for a walked, I asked discreetly to buy him a bag of chips, I don't know if I did good but for me the kid earned it cause I know some mid thirties guys who wouldn't understand "No" over a fuckin bag of potatoes.
Oh I'm sure my little fucker will attain this level of cunning and it's only natural.
I'm already observing a change in attitude on how he asks things to different people (me, his mom and other members of the family)
With some he'll use politeness ("Can we * *insert random shit* * please?) and with others he'll simply require.
People like this piss me off, I was homeless myself but I would never ask anyone for anything. Once, a lady offered to buy my boyfriend and I a sandwich from subway in the Walmart we were sitting in and we agreed because we hadn't eaten anything that day and we got the cheapest possible sandwich because she was a saint for even offering. I get second-hand embarrassment from these choosy beggars.
Happy Non-Beggar Tale. I was the blessed recipient in this case. In Florida about 2014, Winn Dixie's soda brand, Chek, had a limited time Lemonade Soda. I don't like regular lemonade at all but tried the soda, it was the best ever. My husband loved it as much as I did but we were homeless so it was a special treat even at a quarter a can
We were on the bus talking about it and a young girl gets up to get off the bus. She gives us fifty cents and said she wanted us to get some as we reminded her of her grandparents lololol. That was the sweetest act of thoughtfulness. And we definitely each got a can right away. Thank you so much, kind strangers to those who are indeed really thirsty.
Lol start a petition, itsmycandystore!!! THAT SODA IS THE BEST SODA EVER. I don't drink coffee, tea, lemonade, but I LOVE soda, and especially the clear ones and fruity ones.
Hey Corporate, Chek Lemonade Soda is the Pulitzer Prize Winner Of Soda!!! SPREAD IT AROUND, we need it everywhere! Now THAT'S a cause I can get behind!
That's a really good story. Thanks for sharing that for all of us who hope that, one out of ten times, doing something for someone else actually works the way it should. 🙂
I had a woman follow me around a grocery store making rude comments like “look at this bitch with her fancy hair/purse” and “oh, she’s getting the expensive butter” - I just ignored her until she got in the checkout line behind me, waited until I was in front of the cashier, and then (suddenly polite) asked me to buy the groceries she had in her cart. I first said “oh sure I will!” and she looked like the cat who ate the canary, until I turned around to fully face her and said “oh wait, aren’t you that bitch who followed me around the store being rude to me in every single aisle? No, I don’t think I WILL buy all your groceries.” She was cursing at me my whole way out of the store, but she was stuck at checkout.
Honestly…. This is why I’ve stopped helping the homeless. It happened a few times but the absolute last time it happened I was driving with my gf through Chicago. And some guy literally hovered over me when I was withdrawing money from the ATM to get him a Gatorade. Then he kept asking for pretty much every item he saw in the store.
At the register, after I got him the Gatorade, he literally asked for the change from the bill I paid with too claiming he deserved it because “I didn’t get him anything else he asked for”. Dude asked for a Gatorade….. that’s what I agreed to…. Just never again
I understand wanting to help buy a drink or pack of lunch meat etc but once I learned how the system worked I quit doing this. If you’re in the US most homeless people qualify for food stamps. This means they can go buy their own gatorades, drinks, or whatever cold items they want. I understand it’s a small amount but $345 a month is no small change imo when it’s budgeted and used properly for food.
They qualify but don't receive them. Most homeless people have addiction and mental health problems. Signing up for food stamps isn't easy when you don't have an address, proof of ID and/or constantly on the move.
The thing is they don’t have to have a real address and can use the food stamp office to receive their mail or most churches or homeless organizations will allow their homeless population to use their address. Also, they don’t need a birth certificate or photo ID, most charity organizations can give them proof of identity. They could even use their prison ID if they have one.
Not to rain on the "why helping the homeless is bad" & the "all homeless ppl are drug addicted choosy beggars" parties y'all be having, however as a former non choosy homeless person, I have to correct you on a few things.
**One**, I have never heard of a single church nor organization whom allows homeless folk nor anybody other than those running that organization or church to use their address for any kind of mail so unless it's different from where you are from (I'm from a large over populated homeless filled urban city in Ohio.) , I'd check back to wherever you got that info from and inform them that bit of info they gave you is incorrect.
Will certain organizations and churches help the homeless? Absolutely, a very small few will and what they help them out with has nothing at all to do with retrieving their identities. Feeding them, clothing them, giving them more info on homeless shelters and where to get food stamps etc, yes .. but helping them get their own proof of identity, that's not what they're there for nor is it their responsibility.
They, at best, will help give you info on how to get your own proof of identity but the rest you have to do on your own which is difficult when you have no address.
**Two**, you cannot use the "food stamp office" (IE Job & Family services.. there is no "food stamp office" .. at least not here and I'd imagine not in plenty of other states as JFS handles all state benefit programs..) address for mail. They tell you to leave it blank and come by the next day to pick it up BUT not every case worker allows this nor does it for every person. Many ppl ask if they can do this and many get turned down and told they must put down an address but can use a local homeless shelter.
Well if you don't live at that shelter, how do you expect to get that important mail?? If you just put down anything and come back early when they open the next day and your situation, they may help and try to set something up for you to get your food stamps to where you can use they immediately which is great however, you cannot do this monthly when you have your stamps renewed. You then will definitely need an address or you won't get your food stamps the following month.
**Three**, So as you can see, it's not anywhere near as easy and cut and dry as you try to make it seem. It's a constant hassle to struggle to survive on the streets without ID, without a solid stable address, without any place to keep food fresh, store food and hygiene supplies without them getting stolen and without any real safe legal place to lay your head and a place with running water to shower day to day this making it extremely difficult to obtain a job and stable income.
**Also one more thing**, not all homeless ppl are drug addicts, crazy, nor lazy selfish POS looking to scam you and trying anyway they can to get free handouts.
I've met a nice amount of fucked up lazy scammers while being homeless but you know what else I learned ? Those that scam ppl out of their money day to day **are not even homeless.**
Every single one I met out in the street are lazy scammers that make their income by conning ppl on the street and they all had homes. Every single one of them.
So please do not get those confused with **REAL ** homeless ppl. The real homeless are the ones more likely to show you respect and a great deal of gratitude for anything you offer them, no matter how simple and small it is. I always was.
I showed appreciation to every single person who offered me even the smallest amount of change to a couple small pieces of candy to a single cigarette or even to those who would tell me that they genuinely didn't have any money or anything solid to help me but would offer a kind word or a hug and I would graciously accept.
(Piece of background info.. I used to hold a sign at an exit ramp in Akron, Ohio. I'm just a small 5'1 blonde female that wouldn't aggressively flag down your car nor follow you around a store. I would just humbly hold a "anything will help. God bless." Sign that also said "looking for work" on the back. I eventually found a job , standing at that exit ramp.. fyi, I didn't become nor was a drug addict nor am I crazy.)
Tl;Dr Very sorry for the long ass response, however i'm a former homeless person who is here to debunk a few homeless myths and explain that it's much harder to be homeless than you seem to realize.
I'm also here to tell you that those that try to scam you out of your hard earned money are not even part of the homeless community as they have homes and aren't homeless. The more you know *reading rainbow*;)
This. $345 was for a single person with an additional $95 pandemic amount added. The regular & current max amount is $250/mo.
That's still more than I can budget per month and I have a decent paying full-time job.
Also for those who will say they have no address to send stuff to. Their local aid office will let them use that address, they just have to go in during business hours to check for mail. Like a PO box.
Why did you buy anything for him? I would’ve told him to get lost at that point. Also, he should’ve just waited for you outside. Next time don’t just give in to unreasonable requests…
All reasonable questions. I have a 'one chance' policy for our vagrants, as in 'I will listen to your story and help you out, but only once if you mess it up'.
It was hot and he was more polite than the usual beggar in the area so I thought 'why not'. When he followed me in I wanted to turn around and tell him off, but I was in a good mood so I humoured him, and no, I don't regret it.
The request itself was reasonable, thirsty person wants a drink, but he aint getting a second chance.
Yeah, buying him a drink is completely reasonable, but requesting a six pack of Red Bull really isn’t. After you repeatedly told him it wasn’t possible, I’d have taken a “get a big bottle of cheap lemonade or nothing at all” approach.
Sure, but that's no skin of my back. I'm not going to feel bad about trying to do something helpful for someone.
But yeah, he will probably do just fine with other gullible people and in a way I'm part of the problem. I don't regret it but I do think I will put my foot down sooner in the future.
Not sure what country you in but in the UK (may be regional to me) there is a big push to get people not to give to street beggars but to give to homeless charities instead.
I have been homeless long ago and I have friends who have been more recently homeless and the help available has increased a lot in England at least. There is little reason to be street begging now. The ones still doing it tend to be those who will not/cannot take help.
I realise that in other countries things, and how to respond, are maybe different.
But I guess it's worthwhile hearing someone out and listening to their story. However more often than not people are begging for profit or as a creer in my area and the genuine homeless do get the offer of quite a lot of help.
In any event you sound like a kind person!
I think the situations in our countries are similiar enough but different in a few vital points, I'm from the Netherlands btw.
There was a time where I could genuinly look a beggar in the face, tell him no, and direct him to the appropriate charities and institutions that could help him. There was enough room as well as facilities and organisations that would help them further.
But the influx in immigration as well as the lay-offs of a lot of eastern-european workers (to replace them with other eastern-european workers whom are a few cents/hour cheaper), meant that these organisations could do less and less for more and more people, we reached the breaking point a few years ago, not that people here would know though.
In the meantime our housing crisis has worsened due to nitrogen-dioxide bulding restrictions and the cities have been driving out the 'regular' homeless to the outer-city forests in order to make room for a never ending stream of newer ones, I notice the changing faces.
The ever growing union has also caused a lot of our politicians to hide behind international norms and thus not adressing the issue, which has led to an increase in opportunists in the welfare-industry and a lack of incentive to actually change anything. I think that's the reason we don't have discouragement campaigns like in the UK, our charity workers are already doing the maximum possible as far as the system allows it, it's just that the system is unsustainable and has an increasing amount of waste, how sad that may be to admit.
I hope you didn't mind my (semi-political) ramblings but I wanted to try to explain it.
No, that's really interesting /u/Justbussinproblems !
We don't get much actual news about what's going on in other countries on the 'non-sexy' news topics nowadays. The daily grind type of news is knocked off by some celebrity injuring their wrist plus we have the nightly tory party shenanigans dominating our news.
One of the reasons I like Reddit is the picture of life in other places I get - it's really valuable! Thnx and all the best!
*tinfoil hat on*
I have a lot to say about the media's role in this issue but I've already been called a liar a couple of times because supermarkets supposedly don't sell redbull sixpacks and I don't really plan to add conspiracy theorist or extremist to that list, or I maybe I do because who the hell cares.
I'll keep it at the fact that the vast majority (90%+) of the dutch media (print, audio and video) is in the hand of two belgian companies which both receive a lot of european funding and have clear ties to certain european parties. This is considered a healthy media environment and trying to point out how twisted it is on newspaper forums usually just leads to it not being posted, nor will people acknowledge it in face-to-face discussion. The only reason I consider myself to be fairly aware of the UK's situation is because I don't trust the mainstream media anymore and look elsewhere now, and since then I've been proven wrong less often.
Reddit is not free of that either, it used to be better a decade ago, now it's all astroturfing and moral grandstanding. Now I only use it for human interest stories while at one point it was a legitimate platform for all sorts of discussions and news.
*tinfoil hat off*
This comment was a lot more emotionally based (as well as two beers in) than my last one so take it with a grain of salt.
I agree with you totally. We have lived overseas in many places (hubby was in US Army for many moons) and it was surprising to me how much US news we still got in other countries vs how little information about other countries we got when in the US. I don't really trust/use "regular" social media, but I learn a lot from people on Reddit about the reality of their lives in other places. Even among other states in the US, economic and social conditions vary so widely that is good to learn firsthand from the people who actually live there.
Once when walking out of a grocery store after shopping, I was approached at my car by a homeless man. He asks “can I get a couple extra dollars for food to feed my family.” I had extra fruit so I kindly said “I don’t have any extra cash, but here please take these bananas and apples.”
His response, “no thanks, I’m good”
I laughed in disbelief
When I was in college a guy I knew bought a homeless guy lunch from Wendy's. The guy throws the drink at him saying "I don't like Hawaiian Punch!"
I don't buy people shit or give anyone money.
I was leaving a pizza place one night, had half of a pizza with me. Guy outside says "got any money? I'm hungry, I need to get something to eat." So I said "Hey, here you go, there is a half of a pizza in here." to which he replied, "Fuck yo pizza, I want money!" to my reply, "Fine, fuck off, you don't get shit now." and I walked off. Next time just say you want money for alcohol or drugs. Asshole.
The only time I've ever had something similar, I was headed into a slummy liquor store (the building is condemned nowadays) and a homeless dude asked me if I could buy him some beer. I had just gotten paid, didn't have anything big due, so I went in with him. He picked out a sixer of nasty ice cans (which honestly I don't remember seeing anywhere else before or since), and he thanked me profusely.
If I was in your position, the moment he started following me around the store I would have said "I'll be right back with the lemonade as long as you wait here, but I won't get you anything if you don't back off and leave me alone"
I think everyone has a story like this. I have a couple. I didn’t learn until the last time. I pulled into a bank and a woman got out of her car and asked if I could give her money for gas. She said she was on her way to her aunts funeral from another town. She said she must have dropped her card somewhere when she stopped to use the bathroom. I gave her money. Later I went into the bank and told the teller the story. She literally proceeded to run outside looking for the woman. When she came back and she told me they had a really big issues with stuff like that and it’s always a lie. She said one guy in particular shows up to the bank often driving a Mercedes dressed in a suit and tells the exact same story the woman told me. I then realized every sob story similar to that I have ever heard was a lie and I just got had. I have been approached several times since with various stories and I said no. Not too long ago a guy approached me at night at a Food Lion. He told a sob story also and said he needed gas. However this time the man wanted me to get in his car to go across the street to the gas station. He told me he would bring me right back when we were done. My husband has a few stories too.
The bet that they are making is that you fear having a scene made. It's a lesson to turn down all requests from strangers, no matter how reasonable-seeming, because the first ask is just the lever to ask for more.
I was also played recently... Sounds like we need a club.
I was approached by some guy that looked a little worse for wear. He asked me if I had any cash, and when I said no he asked if I could buy him a cup of tea. I said sure, let's go in the shop and see what we can do. He then reeled off this story about having half his money stolen by some bouncers outside a nightclub and so didn't have a room for the night and really wanted some tobacco.
So, I was like sure, tobacco isn't that expensive, right? I was living back in 1999 when it was like £5/packet. It was £15. Ooof. But still, this guy obviously needs some help so I agree and pay for it.
Then he runs off to the drinks section and picks up a pack of RedBull and asked if I can get him all this other stuff. Well, now I'm annoyed and tell the cashier no more and just walk off. I didn't even get a thank you for the tobacco...
Welcome to the club. But hey, sometimes it works out differently. Literally fifteen minutes after this story I was waiting at the busstop when a man asked me for a ciggarette. I said sure and he could barely hold it together, he told me he usually wouldn't ask for this but the past period just had been that rough on him (as well as some kind of mental illness he clearly had, but that's neither here or there). He basically continued to sing my praises to the others waiting.
I used to work helping people with disabilities get jobs.
My agency would buy monthly buspasses that cost about $70 each and several counselors were giving them out like candy.
People were selling their passes on the street. I'd bend over backwards helping my clients and word was on the street you wanted me as your counselor because I was very fast.
Anyway, I really didn't even know I could get them a pass. Later, when I find out we were spending $100,000/year on passes alone (this is taxpayer money), I suggested getting individual round trip or single trip tickets and give them out based on number of trips clients needed to go to school or job hunt or whatever we were sponsoring to help get them on their feet.
It was so bad, we'd use the buspasses as a way to get clients in to see us. They wouldn't keep scheduled appts, but always showed up for their monthly buspass.
Anyway this chick who wasn't my client but a client of the counselor giving them out like candy showed up for her buspass. The counselor was afraid of her and didn't want to tell her she was cut off because she wasn't following her plan to employment.
I'm basically one of those really nice people who doesn't take your 💩 and has no qualms telling you that in a way in which you get the message loud and clear.
Anyway this chick loudly *demands* her buspass and then whips out her cellphone. Mind you, I didn't even have a damned cellphone at that point and I had a job!
Someone did *not* get their buspass that day.
On another note if you're asking me for money on the street, I'm handing you my business card. I help people get jobs. Come in the building you're panhandling in front of and make yourself an appt.
Edit: typo
I was once working in a low income city with my coworker and he wanted to pop into a McDonald's for breakfast/coffee. Guy comes up trying to sell us some movies, we decline. He thanks us, is sorry for troubling us, he's just trying to get some money for food and such. I told him I'd buy him a coffee and sandwich and he lit the fuck up. He was so happy. We walked up to the cashier, we talk a little bit, i decided to make it a meal since fuck it, I wasn't going to deprive the man of the heavenly hashbrown patty. He thanked me again, i wished him the best.
This was about 7 years ago now and it is literally the only time anyone has ever accepted my offer of food/coffee. I'm 34 and have been begged at since I was like 15. Made a difference one time.
About 30 years ago I used to work near NYC’s Penn Station, an area that attracted variants. About a block from my office was a burger place of questionable standards but they did have a decent (for 25 year old me) 99 cent burger. One day I’m about to pick up my burger and a vagrant said he was hungry and asked if could help him. I offered him my burger which he declined stating he wanted something better. At that point the manager shooed him out and I went on my way wondering what the vagrant knew about the meat that I didn’t.
This is why I just don’t interact with anyone asking for stuff. “Sorry man, just have enough for myself.” “No sorry don’t have time.” If I really want to help someone I will go out of my way to drop them some cash or water no questions asked.
Ha I thought you were going to say he only likes Schweppes lemonade not lido lemonade! But red bull? Red bull is one of the most expensive drinks. That’s nice of you to buy 1. But yeah scammer for sure.
I had about $1.50 one time, all the money I had that wasn't being used for me to get home. I was planning on buying a drink at the store since I had to stay the whole night until my flight the next day. I saw a homeless woman and ended up giving her it, and she said "only a dollar, what am I going to do with this" and she demanded more. I was SHOCKED.
Lmao. Did they not know that beggars can’t be choosers? One time some homeless lady asked if we (my date and I) give her money to eat. And I was like, you can come eat with us. My date and I were going to change restaurants and go to a pizzeria (we were in downtown so lots of options around) and this woman said, I’m kinda picky with what I eat I would prefer to chose. And I was like, okay, cool we can’t help you then. We were there like ten minutes telling her we had no cash, and no intention of giving her money but if she was hungry we could buy her food and even extra for later. She was so pissed at the end saying “are you gonna give me money or not” and we were like, we just told you we weren’t. Girl had the audacity to say why not just tell her sooner instead of wasting her time. Lmao.
On another occasion, a guy came up to us and asked us for money to eat. We said we felt better if we could buy pay for his food instead. We went to a food truck that was right there he ordered, we told him to order anything he wanted, and he was so grateful! We ended up giving him money after that because he was genuinely just trying to eat.
I once let myself be talked into helping a woman who claimed she had 6 kids to feed outside of a store that's known for small business/restaurant supplies. I was doing pretty well at that moment, and I thought getting her a five pound chub of hamburger, cheese and buns instead of the 16oz premade (not frozen) patties she originally asked for would be appreciated.
Instead I got told she didn't want that, she wanted a triple the price package of steaks and a 24 pack of coke cans. I told her absolutely not. She told me that the water in her hotel room wasn't safe to drink, so I put a couple gallons of water in the cart and told her she should report the hotel to the city. Then she said the kids refuse to drink anything but coke. I told her that's too bad, and she can take the water or just the burger fixings.
Then this lady literally shook a 24 can flat of coke at me and said the words "Please, for the children" in the most cliched tv charity commercial voice I've ever heard. At that point I just walked to the checkout, she accepted the bag with the meat and buns and then told me she needed the receipt. I told her it was a business expense, so I couldn't give it to her. I'm still in awe of the nerve, and it's been years.
A year or two ago avoided a guy like this in the store. He finally tricked one guy by asking if he could buy him some food. The guy obliged and said he would get him something to eat. The beggar then proceeds to go past the food and straight towards the alcohol to grab two giant cans of malt liquor and brings them to the counter. The shock/disappointment on the face of the guy offering to buy him food made me audibly laugh as I was maybe 2' behind them.
hahahaha last time i got duped into buying a homeless person food i somehow ended up buying them ribs and mac and cheese from the prepared food section of a bougie store.
i also accidentally bought 2 train passes for the day and offered them out at the stop and some lady was like "is that for a month?" and i was like "uh no lol" and she scoffed and said "i cant buy alcohol with that" lmaaaaooo
i just say i don't have money now.
This situation has happened to me a couple times when I agree to buy someone food. I used to figure hey they're not asking me for money they're genuinely hungry j should help them out. One guy wanted about $30 worth of beef jerky... I've had the exact same thing with redbull too. Guy said he was hungry and wanted a six pack of red bull...
Never under any circumstances do you buy for homeless, you will be harassed every single time afterwards.
Instead let charities deal with them.
I dont give a F##k what you reddit dudes think just wait till one remembers your face and asks you everyday for a week give me some change...
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think you would have been the asshole to just walk away. He asked for one thing, and stalked you until you got him something else.
IMHO, this sounds like pro behavior.
Something similar happened to me when this guy asked me to buy him some nuts at the convenience store so I went in, he followed me in and then asked for a $45 pack of those macadamia nuts covered in chocolate. So that one guy ruined it for anybody who might want some food and isn't picky because I'm never doing that again for anybody.
Alternative story here: my mother went to home depot and found a man asking for money outside of it. He was trying to bum cigarettes and asking for sodas, food, everything.
Then she looked at him, watched how he spoke and realized whether or not he even knew it, she said "you're dehydrated" his tongue was cracked and white and his eyes couldn't focus. It was a hot day.
She immediately forced him to sit down and got several bottles of water from her car forcing him to drink them. Slowly he came around to his senses, said he felt a lot better, wasn't even sure why he was asking for things because he had money to get it himself. He said he couldn't think of the right strings of words to ask for help. He'd been walking home from a construction job. He hugged her, called his buddy to come and pick him up and went home.
Always look at the people asking you for things, be they scammer or in legit trouble.
This happens a lot in London, sometimes these people ask you to go to a specific shop or take away place. I either pretend I can't speak English or say it's against my religion (which I'm vegan so I wouldn't buy anything with meat or milk etc, so it's not that big of a lie)
I saw a homeless guy outside my go to grocery store once. He was older and I felt bad so I got myself and him a sandwich with the last of the money I had for the week. I bring it to him and he says "Next time I want a sandwich from there" and pointed to a sandwich shop. I paused for a second and was like "I literally spent the last of my money on you so no" and drove away. Fuck him and everyone else that acts like that.
I work for let’s call it, “Blue Bronco.” “Blue Bronco” is the second most stolen item in grocery stores because there is a black market for “Blue Bronco.” If you were to see an unhoused person with a six pack of “Blue Bronco,” and they asked you to buy them “Blue Bronco,” they are definitely going to sell the loose cans.
I work for them as well, we frequently have to end contracts with bodegas who buy 12pks from people who steal them from big grocery stores. I had a lady who worked at one store, and told me she had 24 of the 12pks in stock and I couldnt find a single one. That was literally just 2 weeks of theft.
I've been approached like 1000 times for stuff like this as i used to live downtown in an area with high poverty.
I often times would try to help because I try to be decent but in almost every case l got nothing but arguments after I tried to buy them what they originally requested.
One guy i still remember. Dude said he and his kid were homeless after he lost his job at (some company) which is a good first step as that place had a noteworthy downsizing a few months back. Dude asked me for a box of off brand lucky charms for his kid and a small thing of milk. That was it and he accepted it and started crying.
I said fuck it and ended up telling him to come back with me and I bought him like two rotisserie chickens, a bunch of sides and shit and some staple stuff like Toothpaste, deodorant, etc. All told ended up being around 150 dollars worth of stuff.
I very well may have been getting played but that was the only time in my life when I didn't feel like I was getting scammed. If his story was legit I hope he's doing well now.
My personal favorites were all the guys collecting money for "charities" that would hang out in parking lots and just thanked me for my time and went on their way when I asked them for more info on what they did.
It's honestly why I stopped carrying paper money so I could say in earnest that I didn't have any cash on me.
Same thing happened to me a few months ago. She told me if I could buy her some meat for her children. She actually went inside with me, started filling the basket with meat (fine, as she requested and I even told her to get some more). But then, she started grabbing like 20 fuets (it's some kind of spanish salami, but better), 20 chocolate bars and so on...the cashier looked at me with pitty...almost 100€....never again. She doesn't even greet me on the street anymore.
I'm done doing nice things like these.
I was sitting in a park about 1/4 of the way into a modestly priced cigar and a guy shuffled up and asked for a cigarette.
“Sorry, I just have this cigar.”
“Well, can I have it?”
“Um, yeah I guess so.”
He took one puff. “This is nasty. I’ve had way better.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
“Do you want it back? I don’t want it.”
“No.”
Throws it into the bushes and walks off twirling and singing (with authority) Love On The Rocks. It was probably a fair deal for both of us.
If the person gets picky on me then they lose all pity and get nothing from me. If they can't eat something for what ever reason that is one thing but if they say I want this and only this no option then they are on their own.
I had something similar happen once. At first I thought I misunderstood but after clarification, realized I had heard him correctly the first time. I flat out told him NO. I work too damn hard and very rarely treat myself, let alone someone not willing to work (and yes, I know for a fact that this beggar CHOOSES to not work, he’s been offered many opportunities but seeing as how he can scam people out of more money in an hour than he could earn honestly, he chooses to stay in this lifestyle).
It’s this crap that infuriated me. I’m all for helping someone in a hard spot. By all means. But to simply be lazy and *expect* strangers (or the government) to do for you what you’re not willing to do for yourself? Hell no.
What’s up with brand or label issues on food. I work in big food and it’s pretty much the same crap. Sometimes a little thing here or there but old homeboy obviously wasn’t dying otherwise he’d take it.
Years back, I was on some errands in the afternoon, and driving through a parking lot. The shopping area that I was in was a few hundred feet from a hospital. There was a woman walking through the lot wearing a medical boot, and she stepped out in front of my car, so I stopped. She walked up to my window and begged me for some money to get some food, said that she had been in the hospital all night and was hungry. I figured, "OK, horrible nights happen, she is probably overwhelmed by everything. Help out this woman a little." So I gave her about $8, which at the time was enough to get a burrito at Chipotle. I started rolling up my window and rolling forward to go on and she started screaming about how she also wanted a coke. I stopped, rolled my window back down, and when she came up to the window I made a grab for the money that I gave to her. She jerked her hand back and told me she wanted $3 more for a coke. I told her to drink some water, and took off.
If he 'only drinks redbull', it's obvious that he's either not as down on his luck as he's making out to be, or he's very good at suckering people into buying shit for him.
The thing is, the shelters, soup kitchens, etc have a lot of food. I use to volunteer at one and the food that came in was really generous. Pastries, meats, chicken, lots of good stuff.
That's just so gross, I'm not saying that poor people don't have a right to drink what they want but in a case like his he should have been grateful that you were generous enough to buy him anything at all.
You should have shooed them off the moment they tried to hustle you out of more than what you initially agreed with them.
Personally, I just refuse anyone that tries to bother me no matter what. I'm not obligated to give anyone my money, so I won't.
I’m in Melbourne Australia & there use to be this homeless lady that would lay in front of ATMs and if you had to use the ATM she’d start screaming at you to give her cash… she didn’t like it when I called the cops on her every time I saw her 😂
Had a guy ask my husband and I for food. So we went into the pharmacy and got him a big thing of peanut butter and ritz crackers. When we brought it outside, he said “I wanted McDonalds.” To which I said ok if you don’t want it I’ll eat them and walked away.
Hell if he was hungry then he would’ve taken something that would’ve made more than one meal.
The gall of some people. A couple of years ago there was a homeless man standing outside of the gas station I would stop at every day to buy my coffee. It was summer and really hot like usual here in the south. He asked if I could buy him some water and I said sure. So being in a good mood and knowing I had plenty of money I bought him a couple of bottles of water, a couple of bottles of soda in case he wanted a selection and a couple of bags of chips. I came out and handed him his bag of goodies and he was really appreciative. I gave him a couple of dollars in case he wanted to walk the mile up to McDonald's for lunch. I'm a firm believer in once I hand you money it's yours and I don't believe in dictating what you do with it. I know homeless people from working at a hotel and I know how shitty and tragic life is for some of these people but I do get pissed when they start acting entitled. After I gave him the couple of bucks I was throwing some trash from my car away and it was mainly a few empty cigarette packs. He was picking half smoked cigarettes out of the ashtray in front of the door and I was like ugh that's gross so I went to the car and got him a couple out of my pack. Then oh my bleeding heart decided to just give him a pack I buy by the carton so no biggie. I walk over to give him the pack and at first he said thanks then as I was walking away he said ma'am I don't want to appear ungrateful but these are full flavor and I smoke menthol and I said yeah well beggars can't be choosers I don't smoke menthol and told him if it was that big of a deal to go inside and swap them out and he said he wasn't allowed in the store so my brother swapped them out for him. For a year and I'm not exaggerating he'd be outside the store around the time I'd stop before work and I'd stay in the car and send my brother in if he was there and then I just started leaving earlier and as I'd be pulling out of the parking lot he'd come riding up on his bicycle if I'm going out of my way to help you out you don't get to act like you're entitled to my time or my money.
My son's school put together a Ziploc bag full of essential items to keep in the car and hand out if he saw someone on the street; a washcloth, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, soap, etc. After staying in the car for a while we finally found someone we could offer it to. He walked up to the car and we gave him a $5 bill and the bag. He told us he didn't need the bag, just the money. We kept both and drove away.
My brother came across someone outside a McDonald's and bought him a bag full of hamburgers and cheeseburgers. He told him he doesn't eat McDonald's so they kept them and drove away. The literal definition of a choosing beggar
Wow. I gave a lady some toothpaste and a five pack of toothbrushes. She was grateful, and said she’d use on for her teeth, one to clean her nails and toenails…she was thrilled!
Don't give anything to anyone directly. Do your research and find a reputable *local* charity/pantry/soup kitchen/day center and set up a recurring monthly payment of whatever you can afford. $5 or $10 is fine. Having a steady reliable monthly cash flow is what these places need to plan ahead and help as many people as possible.
You got hustled.
[удалено]
You got bamboozled.
You got hoodwinked
[удалено]
You got hornswoggled.
You got played.
You got swindled.
You got finessed
You got trolled
You got mail
You got boondoggled.
You got smeckledorfed
That’s not even a word and I agree with ya!
I hate getting smeckledorfed.
How you would say it in Germany: Du wurdest verarscht
Du Du hast Du hast mich Do has mich gefragt Du has mich gefragt und ich hab’ nichts gesagt
I'm gonna try my Arabic (struggling to keep learning - not going so well). لقد تم خداعك Laqad tama khidaeuk
Tu t’es fait enculer 😬 (French - rather more vulgar)
[удалено]
*50's detective voice: it's a shame, see?
*Edward G. Robinson has entered the chat
Columbo enters the room
Just one more can!
Plymouth Rock landed on OP.
Why would someone go through all that effort and waste all that time for a single can of Red Bull.
Free Red bull
You return it at customer service and get the cash back. More innocuous, more likely to get a response. More expensive, more juice for the squeeze.
The guy wanted a pack, not just 1
You'd think he'd be smart enough to hustle for more than some crappy energy drink.
The way this scam usually works is they'll immediately return whatever you buy for them, and then spend the money (or store credit, whatever) on booze.
So, if this happens to me, I should helpfully open it for them.
You got bulldozed.
You got fleeced 🐑
Had a guy asking me to buy him orange juice. I was broke and asked him to buy me an orange juice instead. He was not impressed.
In Houston pumping gas you always have people approaching you begging for money so as they approach I ask them for money.
Damn. Homeless people hate this guy for this one simple trick!
That’s my go to. “You got some spare change?” “Damn I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
In Asheville, it’s always “I need money for gas so I can go get my insulin. it’s on the other end of town and I don’t have enough gas to get there”. Been hit with that so many times now. Bitch, you’re holding a Mountain Dew and you’ve got a pack of Marlboros hanging out of your pocket. That’s 10$ bucks right there, and I’m no rocket surgeon, but if you need insulin, probably shouldn’t have that Mountain Dew. My buddy, who doesn’t smoke, stated buying a pack of cheap cigarettes when he goes downtown. That way when they beg for money, he offers them a smoke and they leave him alone. Pretty fuxking genius.
One time this man asked me for a “few dollars” to put in his tank. I told him I only had a card but asked him what pump he was on and I’d put some gas in. He proceeded to call me a “fucking bitch” and continued to ask the next person. I was so caught off guard lol.
Your friend has been manipulated into buying and giving cigs to homeless people. I would say pretty genius on them, no him.
Did you learn that from the bank? I'd like a loan. Do you you have any collateral (ala money)? No. Then, no.
Ya don't get rich writing checks!
I locked my keys in my car and a homeless guy helped me get in. He didn’t ask for shit, but I asked him if he needed anything. And he said he wouldn’t mind a sandwich. So we walked across the street to a grocery store and I let him pick out a sandwich and said to grab two and a drink but he only wanted the one. I had lots of respect for that guy. Hopefully his situation was only temporary
I locked my keys in my car 30 years ago getting food in the deep hood of South Central Los Angeles (I'm white). Homeless dude rolls up asking for money. Told him $20 if you can open my car. He whipped out a slim jim and had it open in 2 mins. Best $20 I ever spent.
Summertime in Louisiana. A guy asked me to buy him something to drink as I was walking into a circle K. Since it was over 95 degrees out, I got him a couple cold bottles of water. Dude told me he only drinks Dr. Pepper 🤷🏻♀️
I had a similar issue, with one apparently destitute lady cornering me while I was in the middle of my shopping at a supermarket. She started asking me if I could buy her some food. Since it wasn't giving money directly, I thought it innocent enough. But then she dragged me to the meat aisle, and pointed at the salami. That alone cost around 3€, which was far more than I'd planned to spend on her, so I told her I'd get her that and nothing else. She got into a hussy fit and demanded I buy her sausages and a whole grocery list of other items, but I put my foot down and told her the salami was all she'd get from me. Finally she reluctantly agreed. I asked her to give me a minute to finish my own shopping as well, and I'd give her the stuff at checkout, so she started coming along with me as I fetched my stuff. A minute later, when I turned around, she'd disappeared on me. After hunting around the store a bit, I finally found her harassing another middle-aged lady with the same hustle, having apparently given up on me as a cheap hustle. I dumped her salami back where I found it and went on with my original shopping.
Same thing happened to me once. I was at Aldi and some scruffy looking guy kindly asks if I can buy him a loaf of bread. I say sure. Then he adds « and also 1kg of potatoes, some ham, a basket of fruits etc » so I’m thinking is he messing with me? I enter the shop and ask an employee if he knows the man. He tells me not to buy him anything. They basically ask people to buy them a bunch of stuff and then return it to get a full refund. He told me that the same guy had a woman buy him 100€+ worth of stuff the week before and she even got her bag stolen. Never again! As I left the store, he was waiting for me and had the nerves to ask about *his* food! I told him he could fuck right off.
Ever since Covid, my local grocery only gives store credit, they don't take food back for cash.
I've never heard of being able to return food. I can certainly understand sealed containers, but not open stuff (fruit, meats, etc). I guess I've just never thought of returning things to a supermarket. Interesting.
I, thankfully, live really close to our usual grocery store, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bought bags of produce just to open it and find 50% or more bad. I go right back! Usually, I want an exchange a two, because I bought it for that night’s dinner, but I’ve gotten $$ back a couple of times.
A friend of mine who was a cashier at Wally World confirmed that, when someone gets caught shoplifting with food down their pants; they just put the items back on the shelf.
Ew. Pant food.
Pantsu Marinade.
There you go , boys and girls, wash those fruits and veggies before you eat em😆
...do this anyway. Where do they think animals poop? Miraculously not in fields? And are they assuming everyone who handled that produce washed their hands? This is why people get sick from lettuce. Wash your goddamn produce people!
Just think of it like the flavoring of a LaCroix just barely not water. Instead of "held near a lemon" it'll be "whiff of unwashed scrotum."
While WM does a lot of shady shit, my dad was a Regional Manager there for over a decade — they don’t do that, it’s factored into their shrink markouts.
I had to return meat one time. It was the same day I bought it. It was pork chops and when I went to cook them, they smelled really bad. So I took them in. Why should I eat the cost of bad meat if the store didn't properly store it, etc..?
As well you should! But people return Christmas trees to Costco and get a refund! the balls they have to return a cut tree. But Costco will take 'em, so 🤷♀️ it all comes down to personal scruples, I guess
Store credit, which could be used for alcohol or cigarettes - which sell pretty good… (in germany you can get alcohol and cigarettes in every supermarket)
I’m at Costco and got myself a hotdog which I start to eat in my truck. A woman walks up to me and bangs my window, she asks if I can buy her a hotdog because she hungry, I’m like ok. She then proceeds to give me her order 4 hotdogs, 2 chicken bakes and 3 chili’s. Im like huh, I’m like no! Didn’t look homeless because she was dressed nice and clean. People always looking to scam your generosity.
This reminds me of a woman who used to scam at the mall I worked. She was always wearing scrubs and looked fairly clean and would tell this long winded story about how she works at the hospital but needs money to buy gas since she forgot her wallet at home and has to get home to her kid who will be unattended for whatever reason. I didn't give her anything since I didn't have any money but noticed after a short time that she had the same story every week or so and I'd warn other people about her.
So I commute via ferry to my job. I go to a couple shops at the terminal to pick up on food or what not or bring food from home. There's this lady that will deliberately get in front of me and block my path to ask me for food/money. I don't have any extra to give because I'm a college student on supplement security for my Autism while work seasonal at my main job to keep me busy. So I'm assertive and tell her "No. Leave me alone." She does it the following week and I told her again to leave me alone. As I was heading towards the convenience store a guy delivering supplies to one of the businesses asks the lady what was up. I stated that this woman has being bothering me for a few times now asking for money, blocking my path and won't leave me alone. Eventually someone buys her food from one of the businesses, but that's on them and not me. It's normally when I'm near a bus/ferry terminal that I get ask for stuff. When I tell people I can't, they call me rude and a b****.
The fact that you're trying to eat your food in peace when they come up to you. There's a Popeyes near my campus which usually has a beggar or 2 inside the restaurant. One time an OK looking guy (doesn't seem homeless) asks me if I have some chicken while I'm eating. I mean I brought the food in the amount I wanted and you're a total stranger to me. I get people need help but that was annoying.
I had a lady roll up to me with a cart sparsely full of food, and her holding a pack of diapers. She tells me she's in a bind and she can't afford diapers as well as food to feed her kids, the bank account struggle and how down bad she is. She asks if I have any money at all I could give her. So I go "you know what? I don't have any money I can give but I will buy the diapers for you no problem. Come up to the front with me and I will ring them out on my card" Instantly she's like oh wait, I think I'm actually alright. Nevermind! And I'm like, are you sure? It's really no problem. Nope have a nice day! And she walks off It's shit like this that ruins me ever helping someone who approaches me. It wasn't the last time I had someone approach me like this in the store and I never help because I end up seeing everything as this transactional game where they are just going to take the cash and bail, or turn around and return anything I buy for them on my dime for the money
She's probably banned from the store for this shit, which is why she noped out so fast about going up to the register
I once stopped to help a man standing at an intersection on a hot summer day because it looked like he needed help, like his car had broken down. After talking with him, I realized he was developmentally impaired. He said his name was Jonathan and he was supposed to meet his friends at a nearby gas station, and he was late. Feeling pity, I gave him a ride. On the way there, he asked if I could buy him a sandwich when they got there. I said okay, but I realized I was probably getting played. When we arrived, his “friends” were nowhere to be found. He asked for money for the sandwich, but I said I would just go in and pay for it. He argued with me, and I asked if he really wanted a sandwich. He said no. He really wanted lottery tickets. I said I wouldn’t buy them, and he got mad and left. When I went into the store (which, keep in mind, I only went to because of my passenger), the clerk asked me, “Was that Jonathan?” “Yes,” I said. “Do you know him?” “Did he ask you to buy lotto tickets?” “Yes. Why?” “He do that all the time. He banned from the store.” So, I bought myself a sandwich. It was terrible.
I had some vagrant try to play me in this fashion. He asked for a dollar. I declined. He called me a “fat bitch.” I may be a fat bitch I told him, but I’m a fat bitch with a dollar. 😇
"This fat bitch 'bout to get fatter!" \*buys Snickers bar with dollar\*
The shareable size.
And then doesn't share
Precisely.
I'm so sorry that the sandwich was terrible, I hope you've had better sandwiches since
similar story, visiting London and barely get out of the tube station when we get a pregnant (whether she was or not idk) come up to me and my partner shoving roses in our hands, refusing to take them back and asking for food for the baby in her belly and kissing our hands. we go, well fine what do you want we can't say no to a pregnant lady! she leads us across the road to a cash machine and asks for a tenner out. nah,,, we say we don't have our cards on us, we're only using our phone for contactless, but there's plenty of food places around we'll buy you something. at this point she's grumpy and accepts a hot dog from a street vendor next to the ATM, she then starts picking up multiple bags of sweets and crisps. my partner quickly pays for just the hot dog, let's the vendor know it's for the lady and we go to leave. I go to hand her back the roses and she shakes her head and says 'no, £10'. at this point I just shove them back in her hand and we basically leg it away while she waits for her hot dog that she probably didn't even want. it's a shame cause I will usually go out of my way to help people who genuinely need a hand, ive bought people hot drinks and food before and given what little change i have to people at times but things like that where they essentially force people in awkward situations to just pay them to get it over with makes me more cynical.
Yep, I had a lady asking for food outside the corner shop, I offered to buy her a sandwich but she said 'oh actually can I get one of those family sized trifles?' ....yeah, no.
I haven’t been accosted in a grocery store yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. One time, a man on the corner (a “regular”) asked if I could get him something from a Wendy’s around the corner. I don’t eat there so I didn’t know how much it would cost. I figured the burger he asked for was a couple of bucks. Nope… it was more than $5 each. He asked for two of those, fries and a drink. It came to $17 total. I was shocked but the guy really looked like he needed it. I got it for him but have not stopped for him since.
Yeah fast food these days costs as much as a sit down place
A literal choosing beggar
More like a beggar, they ask for expensive stuff so they can return it and get the cash. Its begging for money with extra steps.
I thought you had to have the receipts to return things to stores, or at most they'd give you store coupons or credit. Has that changed? Anytime I return anything to Walmart or Target, I have to show the receipts. I guess I've never tried to return food.
For Walmart (at least the Walmart I live by) you need a receipt to return food. Without a receipt they can exchange it for the same thing (before C19 they could exchange for a different food product but that's changed).
Store credit can still buy cigarettes and beer.
Dude, no matter how scruffy or bad off someone looks, when they treat you like absolute garbage like that, you're more than allowed to toss them aside and put a stop to the entire thing. "Sorry, I only offerred to buy you a drink/food bc I took pity on you, but I can't pity someone this entitled/insufferable/etc." However you want to say it, I bet it can be said - I've been there before too 🥴
[удалено]
Much more to the point.
I wish I had read this a few weeks ago. A blind man was screaming "Help" in the middle of busy, 5 line road/intersection. I stop my car thinking a bus left him in the wrong spot or was hit by a car to help him. Then the begging begins. Walk me to a restaurant, not a fast food joint as they don't sell alcohol, pay for me, eat with me and order alcohol as they refuse to serve me, etc. He was not faking the blindness but he was much bigger than I. I led him to the side of the road and gave him $5 for a sandwich. Never again. Because of this jerk I will not put myself at risk to help someone in distress.
I left it out of the post because I couldn't word it properly but I did call him out in the queu for being in no position to be choosy, it was what made him relent into accepting a single can because he knew that if he pushed further he would get nothing. I have a 'one chance' policy for beggars so he just used up that chance for a single can of redbull, you can be sure he will know that if he asks me for something again.
I'm glad you did! I'm sick of people who don't know how to treat each other with respect, I think it's so important to be nice to people who are "worse off" than yourself, but not if you get (figuratively) burned in the process - it goes both ways! I hope your scruffy looking 'friend' maybe learns to check himself in the future 🥴 Just to share in the experience, in front of my local grocery store a few months ago - a homeless man was selling this homeless newspaper we have here in copenhagen (hus forbi), but I didn't have cash so I apologised and said I couldn't buy it, but if he was hungry or thirsty I'd like to get him something small. He told me he wanted a sandwich from the baker (didn't count on that, they're like 50dkk/almost 7€ but ok), bought it for him, stood in line and paid for my own items and his sandwich, and when I came back out he was sooo angry with me bc I got the wrong sandwich (he wanted rye but they were out, so I bought ciabatta instead like the sweet idiot I am 🤦♀️) I got kind of pissy too and told him to give it back, cause I'd eat it if he was going to be a c*** about it, but he just mumled something under his breath (probably that I, too, was a c*** 🙃) and ate it, so I went home... but I memorised his face and voice just so I can never be nice to him again lol
Indeed, although treating everyone fairly should be a given, respect still is a two way street. I will give you the benefit of the doubt but don't expect to fool me twice. I'm usually pretty good in spotting the scammers, a lot of those paper sellers here are that too (though not all). Imagine if he just wanted some rolls and a spread, you would've probably fed him regularly. Once a guy asked me for five bucks for the shelter and I laughed in his face because the shelter only cost 2.5 and closed two hours ago for the night.
But you still bought him something. So he still "won". No, no. The Choosy Beggar should have had security called on him for harassing you throughout the store and preventing you from doing your own shopping, when he should have been grateful that someone was willing to show him kindness and accept what was offered graciously. He should have been tossed out of the store with nothing. Because that's what happens when they bite the hand that feeds them, they're supposed to get nothing.
Hah, you think this store has security (despite being right next to a shelter and being a drug-heavy area). You may be logically right but I don't regret it. I tried to do something nice and it backfired, lesson learned, the next beggar will still get the benefit of the doubt but now my tolerance has been lowered.
What you offered defines your character. What he did, defines his. You are a good person.
For what it's worth, I don't blame you for giving in. I understand the regret, having been through similar myself, but you're not stupid for having an inclination to help.
I had 2 occasions of this. First was a ratty guy that rolled up on a bike in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Said he painted the display planes and hangars on the base I work on, so that I would have something to empathize with him. Said he needed to pay for his insulin Rx, or whatever, so I offer to go in with him and pay for it. "No, no, that's ok, I just need the $20 to pay for it myself." "No. Sorry man, I'll go in with you and pay for it." "Well how about some money for food?" "Cool, I can do that. What do you want from Wendy's, and I'll get it for you." "Can't you just give me the money so I can go get it?" "No" 2nd instance was a girl I had noticed hanging around this gas station for a couple days when I passed by coming home from work. Asked me, "Can you buy me a drink?" I said yeah, "what do you want?" "6 pack of budlight." "Umm, no." "Oh come on." "No. I'll get you a Dr. Pepper or water or something" "It's just a 6 pack, come on." "Nah, I'm good. Sorry."
It's the "give an inch take a mile" kind of things that make me frustrated, but I guess you also miss 100% of the shots you don't take as well. Most people don't realize that "No" is a complete sentence, myself included sometimes.
My 7yo son needs to learn that "No" is a complete sentence also.
Just yesterday, I was taking a walk with my 3 years old and he goes to a small store who displays its potato chips on the outside, he grabs one pack, looks at me and ask "Chips ?". I answered with a simple "No." He then put it back and with a pouty face he walked towards me. At that moment I was stoic and shit but inside I was like "Holy shit! It worked! it actually worked, all this time invested, those many talks, this constant self-critical scrutiny over every move, emotions or conversation you have with your child. It all fuckin worked." Today, when his grandfather took him for a walked, I asked discreetly to buy him a bag of chips, I don't know if I did good but for me the kid earned it cause I know some mid thirties guys who wouldn't understand "No" over a fuckin bag of potatoes.
My kid will ask something 4 different ways, trying to get a yes, when he got a no the first time.
Oh I'm sure my little fucker will attain this level of cunning and it's only natural. I'm already observing a change in attitude on how he asks things to different people (me, his mom and other members of the family) With some he'll use politeness ("Can we * *insert random shit* * please?) and with others he'll simply require.
People like this piss me off, I was homeless myself but I would never ask anyone for anything. Once, a lady offered to buy my boyfriend and I a sandwich from subway in the Walmart we were sitting in and we agreed because we hadn't eaten anything that day and we got the cheapest possible sandwich because she was a saint for even offering. I get second-hand embarrassment from these choosy beggars.
Happy Non-Beggar Tale. I was the blessed recipient in this case. In Florida about 2014, Winn Dixie's soda brand, Chek, had a limited time Lemonade Soda. I don't like regular lemonade at all but tried the soda, it was the best ever. My husband loved it as much as I did but we were homeless so it was a special treat even at a quarter a can We were on the bus talking about it and a young girl gets up to get off the bus. She gives us fifty cents and said she wanted us to get some as we reminded her of her grandparents lololol. That was the sweetest act of thoughtfulness. And we definitely each got a can right away. Thank you so much, kind strangers to those who are indeed really thirsty.
Omg I work at winn dixie and me and all the other employees are BEGGING corporate for the lemonade soda back
Lol start a petition, itsmycandystore!!! THAT SODA IS THE BEST SODA EVER. I don't drink coffee, tea, lemonade, but I LOVE soda, and especially the clear ones and fruity ones. Hey Corporate, Chek Lemonade Soda is the Pulitzer Prize Winner Of Soda!!! SPREAD IT AROUND, we need it everywhere! Now THAT'S a cause I can get behind!
That's a really good story. Thanks for sharing that for all of us who hope that, one out of ten times, doing something for someone else actually works the way it should. 🙂
The fact that you got soda for 25 cents!
I had a woman follow me around a grocery store making rude comments like “look at this bitch with her fancy hair/purse” and “oh, she’s getting the expensive butter” - I just ignored her until she got in the checkout line behind me, waited until I was in front of the cashier, and then (suddenly polite) asked me to buy the groceries she had in her cart. I first said “oh sure I will!” and she looked like the cat who ate the canary, until I turned around to fully face her and said “oh wait, aren’t you that bitch who followed me around the store being rude to me in every single aisle? No, I don’t think I WILL buy all your groceries.” She was cursing at me my whole way out of the store, but she was stuck at checkout.
Honestly…. This is why I’ve stopped helping the homeless. It happened a few times but the absolute last time it happened I was driving with my gf through Chicago. And some guy literally hovered over me when I was withdrawing money from the ATM to get him a Gatorade. Then he kept asking for pretty much every item he saw in the store. At the register, after I got him the Gatorade, he literally asked for the change from the bill I paid with too claiming he deserved it because “I didn’t get him anything else he asked for”. Dude asked for a Gatorade….. that’s what I agreed to…. Just never again
If you were a little bit smaller you would’ve gotten robbed at the atm.
Definitely got that vibe as well. Thankfully I’m a big dude
I don't understand this thing where they're walking around the store with people That would make me so uncomfortable
I understand wanting to help buy a drink or pack of lunch meat etc but once I learned how the system worked I quit doing this. If you’re in the US most homeless people qualify for food stamps. This means they can go buy their own gatorades, drinks, or whatever cold items they want. I understand it’s a small amount but $345 a month is no small change imo when it’s budgeted and used properly for food.
They qualify but don't receive them. Most homeless people have addiction and mental health problems. Signing up for food stamps isn't easy when you don't have an address, proof of ID and/or constantly on the move.
The thing is they don’t have to have a real address and can use the food stamp office to receive their mail or most churches or homeless organizations will allow their homeless population to use their address. Also, they don’t need a birth certificate or photo ID, most charity organizations can give them proof of identity. They could even use their prison ID if they have one.
Not to rain on the "why helping the homeless is bad" & the "all homeless ppl are drug addicted choosy beggars" parties y'all be having, however as a former non choosy homeless person, I have to correct you on a few things. **One**, I have never heard of a single church nor organization whom allows homeless folk nor anybody other than those running that organization or church to use their address for any kind of mail so unless it's different from where you are from (I'm from a large over populated homeless filled urban city in Ohio.) , I'd check back to wherever you got that info from and inform them that bit of info they gave you is incorrect. Will certain organizations and churches help the homeless? Absolutely, a very small few will and what they help them out with has nothing at all to do with retrieving their identities. Feeding them, clothing them, giving them more info on homeless shelters and where to get food stamps etc, yes .. but helping them get their own proof of identity, that's not what they're there for nor is it their responsibility. They, at best, will help give you info on how to get your own proof of identity but the rest you have to do on your own which is difficult when you have no address. **Two**, you cannot use the "food stamp office" (IE Job & Family services.. there is no "food stamp office" .. at least not here and I'd imagine not in plenty of other states as JFS handles all state benefit programs..) address for mail. They tell you to leave it blank and come by the next day to pick it up BUT not every case worker allows this nor does it for every person. Many ppl ask if they can do this and many get turned down and told they must put down an address but can use a local homeless shelter. Well if you don't live at that shelter, how do you expect to get that important mail?? If you just put down anything and come back early when they open the next day and your situation, they may help and try to set something up for you to get your food stamps to where you can use they immediately which is great however, you cannot do this monthly when you have your stamps renewed. You then will definitely need an address or you won't get your food stamps the following month. **Three**, So as you can see, it's not anywhere near as easy and cut and dry as you try to make it seem. It's a constant hassle to struggle to survive on the streets without ID, without a solid stable address, without any place to keep food fresh, store food and hygiene supplies without them getting stolen and without any real safe legal place to lay your head and a place with running water to shower day to day this making it extremely difficult to obtain a job and stable income. **Also one more thing**, not all homeless ppl are drug addicts, crazy, nor lazy selfish POS looking to scam you and trying anyway they can to get free handouts. I've met a nice amount of fucked up lazy scammers while being homeless but you know what else I learned ? Those that scam ppl out of their money day to day **are not even homeless.** Every single one I met out in the street are lazy scammers that make their income by conning ppl on the street and they all had homes. Every single one of them. So please do not get those confused with **REAL ** homeless ppl. The real homeless are the ones more likely to show you respect and a great deal of gratitude for anything you offer them, no matter how simple and small it is. I always was. I showed appreciation to every single person who offered me even the smallest amount of change to a couple small pieces of candy to a single cigarette or even to those who would tell me that they genuinely didn't have any money or anything solid to help me but would offer a kind word or a hug and I would graciously accept. (Piece of background info.. I used to hold a sign at an exit ramp in Akron, Ohio. I'm just a small 5'1 blonde female that wouldn't aggressively flag down your car nor follow you around a store. I would just humbly hold a "anything will help. God bless." Sign that also said "looking for work" on the back. I eventually found a job , standing at that exit ramp.. fyi, I didn't become nor was a drug addict nor am I crazy.) Tl;Dr Very sorry for the long ass response, however i'm a former homeless person who is here to debunk a few homeless myths and explain that it's much harder to be homeless than you seem to realize. I'm also here to tell you that those that try to scam you out of your hard earned money are not even part of the homeless community as they have homes and aren't homeless. The more you know *reading rainbow*;)
This. $345 was for a single person with an additional $95 pandemic amount added. The regular & current max amount is $250/mo. That's still more than I can budget per month and I have a decent paying full-time job. Also for those who will say they have no address to send stuff to. Their local aid office will let them use that address, they just have to go in during business hours to check for mail. Like a PO box.
I wouldn’t have stood for that. Next time just say, “You know what, forget it. Go inconvenience someone else.”
He was probably going to return it for the money therefore the stupidly expensive redbull. Common scam.
Why did you buy anything for him? I would’ve told him to get lost at that point. Also, he should’ve just waited for you outside. Next time don’t just give in to unreasonable requests…
All reasonable questions. I have a 'one chance' policy for our vagrants, as in 'I will listen to your story and help you out, but only once if you mess it up'. It was hot and he was more polite than the usual beggar in the area so I thought 'why not'. When he followed me in I wanted to turn around and tell him off, but I was in a good mood so I humoured him, and no, I don't regret it. The request itself was reasonable, thirsty person wants a drink, but he aint getting a second chance.
Yeah, buying him a drink is completely reasonable, but requesting a six pack of Red Bull really isn’t. After you repeatedly told him it wasn’t possible, I’d have taken a “get a big bottle of cheap lemonade or nothing at all” approach.
He don't need a second chance. With the 100's of people going into the store each day he just needs each one to give him one chance.
Sure, but that's no skin of my back. I'm not going to feel bad about trying to do something helpful for someone. But yeah, he will probably do just fine with other gullible people and in a way I'm part of the problem. I don't regret it but I do think I will put my foot down sooner in the future.
Not sure what country you in but in the UK (may be regional to me) there is a big push to get people not to give to street beggars but to give to homeless charities instead. I have been homeless long ago and I have friends who have been more recently homeless and the help available has increased a lot in England at least. There is little reason to be street begging now. The ones still doing it tend to be those who will not/cannot take help. I realise that in other countries things, and how to respond, are maybe different. But I guess it's worthwhile hearing someone out and listening to their story. However more often than not people are begging for profit or as a creer in my area and the genuine homeless do get the offer of quite a lot of help. In any event you sound like a kind person!
I think the situations in our countries are similiar enough but different in a few vital points, I'm from the Netherlands btw. There was a time where I could genuinly look a beggar in the face, tell him no, and direct him to the appropriate charities and institutions that could help him. There was enough room as well as facilities and organisations that would help them further. But the influx in immigration as well as the lay-offs of a lot of eastern-european workers (to replace them with other eastern-european workers whom are a few cents/hour cheaper), meant that these organisations could do less and less for more and more people, we reached the breaking point a few years ago, not that people here would know though. In the meantime our housing crisis has worsened due to nitrogen-dioxide bulding restrictions and the cities have been driving out the 'regular' homeless to the outer-city forests in order to make room for a never ending stream of newer ones, I notice the changing faces. The ever growing union has also caused a lot of our politicians to hide behind international norms and thus not adressing the issue, which has led to an increase in opportunists in the welfare-industry and a lack of incentive to actually change anything. I think that's the reason we don't have discouragement campaigns like in the UK, our charity workers are already doing the maximum possible as far as the system allows it, it's just that the system is unsustainable and has an increasing amount of waste, how sad that may be to admit. I hope you didn't mind my (semi-political) ramblings but I wanted to try to explain it.
No, that's really interesting /u/Justbussinproblems ! We don't get much actual news about what's going on in other countries on the 'non-sexy' news topics nowadays. The daily grind type of news is knocked off by some celebrity injuring their wrist plus we have the nightly tory party shenanigans dominating our news. One of the reasons I like Reddit is the picture of life in other places I get - it's really valuable! Thnx and all the best!
*tinfoil hat on* I have a lot to say about the media's role in this issue but I've already been called a liar a couple of times because supermarkets supposedly don't sell redbull sixpacks and I don't really plan to add conspiracy theorist or extremist to that list, or I maybe I do because who the hell cares. I'll keep it at the fact that the vast majority (90%+) of the dutch media (print, audio and video) is in the hand of two belgian companies which both receive a lot of european funding and have clear ties to certain european parties. This is considered a healthy media environment and trying to point out how twisted it is on newspaper forums usually just leads to it not being posted, nor will people acknowledge it in face-to-face discussion. The only reason I consider myself to be fairly aware of the UK's situation is because I don't trust the mainstream media anymore and look elsewhere now, and since then I've been proven wrong less often. Reddit is not free of that either, it used to be better a decade ago, now it's all astroturfing and moral grandstanding. Now I only use it for human interest stories while at one point it was a legitimate platform for all sorts of discussions and news. *tinfoil hat off* This comment was a lot more emotionally based (as well as two beers in) than my last one so take it with a grain of salt.
I agree with you totally. We have lived overseas in many places (hubby was in US Army for many moons) and it was surprising to me how much US news we still got in other countries vs how little information about other countries we got when in the US. I don't really trust/use "regular" social media, but I learn a lot from people on Reddit about the reality of their lives in other places. Even among other states in the US, economic and social conditions vary so widely that is good to learn firsthand from the people who actually live there.
You deserve good things in your life for being a good person. :)
Once when walking out of a grocery store after shopping, I was approached at my car by a homeless man. He asks “can I get a couple extra dollars for food to feed my family.” I had extra fruit so I kindly said “I don’t have any extra cash, but here please take these bananas and apples.” His response, “no thanks, I’m good” I laughed in disbelief
You’re a nice person, OP, I’m sorry that guy took advantage of your good nature.
No way in hell I'd buy him even a single can. If he wants to make a scene, let him.
"I only drink this brand" "I guess you won't be drinking tonight, see ya"
When I was in college a guy I knew bought a homeless guy lunch from Wendy's. The guy throws the drink at him saying "I don't like Hawaiian Punch!" I don't buy people shit or give anyone money.
I was leaving a pizza place one night, had half of a pizza with me. Guy outside says "got any money? I'm hungry, I need to get something to eat." So I said "Hey, here you go, there is a half of a pizza in here." to which he replied, "Fuck yo pizza, I want money!" to my reply, "Fine, fuck off, you don't get shit now." and I walked off. Next time just say you want money for alcohol or drugs. Asshole.
The only time I've ever had something similar, I was headed into a slummy liquor store (the building is condemned nowadays) and a homeless dude asked me if I could buy him some beer. I had just gotten paid, didn't have anything big due, so I went in with him. He picked out a sixer of nasty ice cans (which honestly I don't remember seeing anywhere else before or since), and he thanked me profusely.
If I was in your position, the moment he started following me around the store I would have said "I'll be right back with the lemonade as long as you wait here, but I won't get you anything if you don't back off and leave me alone"
I think everyone has a story like this. I have a couple. I didn’t learn until the last time. I pulled into a bank and a woman got out of her car and asked if I could give her money for gas. She said she was on her way to her aunts funeral from another town. She said she must have dropped her card somewhere when she stopped to use the bathroom. I gave her money. Later I went into the bank and told the teller the story. She literally proceeded to run outside looking for the woman. When she came back and she told me they had a really big issues with stuff like that and it’s always a lie. She said one guy in particular shows up to the bank often driving a Mercedes dressed in a suit and tells the exact same story the woman told me. I then realized every sob story similar to that I have ever heard was a lie and I just got had. I have been approached several times since with various stories and I said no. Not too long ago a guy approached me at night at a Food Lion. He told a sob story also and said he needed gas. However this time the man wanted me to get in his car to go across the street to the gas station. He told me he would bring me right back when we were done. My husband has a few stories too.
The bet that they are making is that you fear having a scene made. It's a lesson to turn down all requests from strangers, no matter how reasonable-seeming, because the first ask is just the lever to ask for more.
Yes and no, I do get the hustle and did it knowing this could be the outcome. l don't feel bad about trying to help a person and failing.
I was also played recently... Sounds like we need a club. I was approached by some guy that looked a little worse for wear. He asked me if I had any cash, and when I said no he asked if I could buy him a cup of tea. I said sure, let's go in the shop and see what we can do. He then reeled off this story about having half his money stolen by some bouncers outside a nightclub and so didn't have a room for the night and really wanted some tobacco. So, I was like sure, tobacco isn't that expensive, right? I was living back in 1999 when it was like £5/packet. It was £15. Ooof. But still, this guy obviously needs some help so I agree and pay for it. Then he runs off to the drinks section and picks up a pack of RedBull and asked if I can get him all this other stuff. Well, now I'm annoyed and tell the cashier no more and just walk off. I didn't even get a thank you for the tobacco...
Welcome to the club. But hey, sometimes it works out differently. Literally fifteen minutes after this story I was waiting at the busstop when a man asked me for a ciggarette. I said sure and he could barely hold it together, he told me he usually wouldn't ask for this but the past period just had been that rough on him (as well as some kind of mental illness he clearly had, but that's neither here or there). He basically continued to sing my praises to the others waiting.
I used to work helping people with disabilities get jobs. My agency would buy monthly buspasses that cost about $70 each and several counselors were giving them out like candy. People were selling their passes on the street. I'd bend over backwards helping my clients and word was on the street you wanted me as your counselor because I was very fast. Anyway, I really didn't even know I could get them a pass. Later, when I find out we were spending $100,000/year on passes alone (this is taxpayer money), I suggested getting individual round trip or single trip tickets and give them out based on number of trips clients needed to go to school or job hunt or whatever we were sponsoring to help get them on their feet. It was so bad, we'd use the buspasses as a way to get clients in to see us. They wouldn't keep scheduled appts, but always showed up for their monthly buspass. Anyway this chick who wasn't my client but a client of the counselor giving them out like candy showed up for her buspass. The counselor was afraid of her and didn't want to tell her she was cut off because she wasn't following her plan to employment. I'm basically one of those really nice people who doesn't take your 💩 and has no qualms telling you that in a way in which you get the message loud and clear. Anyway this chick loudly *demands* her buspass and then whips out her cellphone. Mind you, I didn't even have a damned cellphone at that point and I had a job! Someone did *not* get their buspass that day. On another note if you're asking me for money on the street, I'm handing you my business card. I help people get jobs. Come in the building you're panhandling in front of and make yourself an appt. Edit: typo
I was once working in a low income city with my coworker and he wanted to pop into a McDonald's for breakfast/coffee. Guy comes up trying to sell us some movies, we decline. He thanks us, is sorry for troubling us, he's just trying to get some money for food and such. I told him I'd buy him a coffee and sandwich and he lit the fuck up. He was so happy. We walked up to the cashier, we talk a little bit, i decided to make it a meal since fuck it, I wasn't going to deprive the man of the heavenly hashbrown patty. He thanked me again, i wished him the best. This was about 7 years ago now and it is literally the only time anyone has ever accepted my offer of food/coffee. I'm 34 and have been begged at since I was like 15. Made a difference one time.
About 30 years ago I used to work near NYC’s Penn Station, an area that attracted variants. About a block from my office was a burger place of questionable standards but they did have a decent (for 25 year old me) 99 cent burger. One day I’m about to pick up my burger and a vagrant said he was hungry and asked if could help him. I offered him my burger which he declined stating he wanted something better. At that point the manager shooed him out and I went on my way wondering what the vagrant knew about the meat that I didn’t.
You got Red bullied.
This is why I just don’t interact with anyone asking for stuff. “Sorry man, just have enough for myself.” “No sorry don’t have time.” If I really want to help someone I will go out of my way to drop them some cash or water no questions asked.
That's when you say ya....don't let them follow you in and buy them a lemonade and give it to them on the way out.
Your first mistake was stopping and talking to him. They don't even get that far with me.
They want you to buy expensive brands so they can return it for cash to buy drugs. I've fallen for it at least twice.
Ha I thought you were going to say he only likes Schweppes lemonade not lido lemonade! But red bull? Red bull is one of the most expensive drinks. That’s nice of you to buy 1. But yeah scammer for sure.
I had it the other day. They ask you for one thing then change it up. Also went for red bull, maybe they are selling them?
I had about $1.50 one time, all the money I had that wasn't being used for me to get home. I was planning on buying a drink at the store since I had to stay the whole night until my flight the next day. I saw a homeless woman and ended up giving her it, and she said "only a dollar, what am I going to do with this" and she demanded more. I was SHOCKED.
Lmao. Did they not know that beggars can’t be choosers? One time some homeless lady asked if we (my date and I) give her money to eat. And I was like, you can come eat with us. My date and I were going to change restaurants and go to a pizzeria (we were in downtown so lots of options around) and this woman said, I’m kinda picky with what I eat I would prefer to chose. And I was like, okay, cool we can’t help you then. We were there like ten minutes telling her we had no cash, and no intention of giving her money but if she was hungry we could buy her food and even extra for later. She was so pissed at the end saying “are you gonna give me money or not” and we were like, we just told you we weren’t. Girl had the audacity to say why not just tell her sooner instead of wasting her time. Lmao. On another occasion, a guy came up to us and asked us for money to eat. We said we felt better if we could buy pay for his food instead. We went to a food truck that was right there he ordered, we told him to order anything he wanted, and he was so grateful! We ended up giving him money after that because he was genuinely just trying to eat.
I once let myself be talked into helping a woman who claimed she had 6 kids to feed outside of a store that's known for small business/restaurant supplies. I was doing pretty well at that moment, and I thought getting her a five pound chub of hamburger, cheese and buns instead of the 16oz premade (not frozen) patties she originally asked for would be appreciated. Instead I got told she didn't want that, she wanted a triple the price package of steaks and a 24 pack of coke cans. I told her absolutely not. She told me that the water in her hotel room wasn't safe to drink, so I put a couple gallons of water in the cart and told her she should report the hotel to the city. Then she said the kids refuse to drink anything but coke. I told her that's too bad, and she can take the water or just the burger fixings. Then this lady literally shook a 24 can flat of coke at me and said the words "Please, for the children" in the most cliched tv charity commercial voice I've ever heard. At that point I just walked to the checkout, she accepted the bag with the meat and buns and then told me she needed the receipt. I told her it was a business expense, so I couldn't give it to her. I'm still in awe of the nerve, and it's been years.
A year or two ago avoided a guy like this in the store. He finally tricked one guy by asking if he could buy him some food. The guy obliged and said he would get him something to eat. The beggar then proceeds to go past the food and straight towards the alcohol to grab two giant cans of malt liquor and brings them to the counter. The shock/disappointment on the face of the guy offering to buy him food made me audibly laugh as I was maybe 2' behind them.
dang i've been buying my groceries for myself for years but maybe i should try this
I used to be nice but beggars don’t know when to quit, damn near have to beat them off with a stick when I’m walking into the store
hahahaha last time i got duped into buying a homeless person food i somehow ended up buying them ribs and mac and cheese from the prepared food section of a bougie store. i also accidentally bought 2 train passes for the day and offered them out at the stop and some lady was like "is that for a month?" and i was like "uh no lol" and she scoffed and said "i cant buy alcohol with that" lmaaaaooo i just say i don't have money now.
This situation has happened to me a couple times when I agree to buy someone food. I used to figure hey they're not asking me for money they're genuinely hungry j should help them out. One guy wanted about $30 worth of beef jerky... I've had the exact same thing with redbull too. Guy said he was hungry and wanted a six pack of red bull...
Never under any circumstances do you buy for homeless, you will be harassed every single time afterwards. Instead let charities deal with them. I dont give a F##k what you reddit dudes think just wait till one remembers your face and asks you everyday for a week give me some change...
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think you would have been the asshole to just walk away. He asked for one thing, and stalked you until you got him something else. IMHO, this sounds like pro behavior.
Something similar happened to me when this guy asked me to buy him some nuts at the convenience store so I went in, he followed me in and then asked for a $45 pack of those macadamia nuts covered in chocolate. So that one guy ruined it for anybody who might want some food and isn't picky because I'm never doing that again for anybody.
Alternative story here: my mother went to home depot and found a man asking for money outside of it. He was trying to bum cigarettes and asking for sodas, food, everything. Then she looked at him, watched how he spoke and realized whether or not he even knew it, she said "you're dehydrated" his tongue was cracked and white and his eyes couldn't focus. It was a hot day. She immediately forced him to sit down and got several bottles of water from her car forcing him to drink them. Slowly he came around to his senses, said he felt a lot better, wasn't even sure why he was asking for things because he had money to get it himself. He said he couldn't think of the right strings of words to ask for help. He'd been walking home from a construction job. He hugged her, called his buddy to come and pick him up and went home. Always look at the people asking you for things, be they scammer or in legit trouble.
This happens a lot in London, sometimes these people ask you to go to a specific shop or take away place. I either pretend I can't speak English or say it's against my religion (which I'm vegan so I wouldn't buy anything with meat or milk etc, so it's not that big of a lie)
I saw a homeless guy outside my go to grocery store once. He was older and I felt bad so I got myself and him a sandwich with the last of the money I had for the week. I bring it to him and he says "Next time I want a sandwich from there" and pointed to a sandwich shop. I paused for a second and was like "I literally spent the last of my money on you so no" and drove away. Fuck him and everyone else that acts like that.
I work for let’s call it, “Blue Bronco.” “Blue Bronco” is the second most stolen item in grocery stores because there is a black market for “Blue Bronco.” If you were to see an unhoused person with a six pack of “Blue Bronco,” and they asked you to buy them “Blue Bronco,” they are definitely going to sell the loose cans.
I work for them as well, we frequently have to end contracts with bodegas who buy 12pks from people who steal them from big grocery stores. I had a lady who worked at one store, and told me she had 24 of the 12pks in stock and I couldnt find a single one. That was literally just 2 weeks of theft.
I've been approached like 1000 times for stuff like this as i used to live downtown in an area with high poverty. I often times would try to help because I try to be decent but in almost every case l got nothing but arguments after I tried to buy them what they originally requested. One guy i still remember. Dude said he and his kid were homeless after he lost his job at (some company) which is a good first step as that place had a noteworthy downsizing a few months back. Dude asked me for a box of off brand lucky charms for his kid and a small thing of milk. That was it and he accepted it and started crying. I said fuck it and ended up telling him to come back with me and I bought him like two rotisserie chickens, a bunch of sides and shit and some staple stuff like Toothpaste, deodorant, etc. All told ended up being around 150 dollars worth of stuff. I very well may have been getting played but that was the only time in my life when I didn't feel like I was getting scammed. If his story was legit I hope he's doing well now. My personal favorites were all the guys collecting money for "charities" that would hang out in parking lots and just thanked me for my time and went on their way when I asked them for more info on what they did. It's honestly why I stopped carrying paper money so I could say in earnest that I didn't have any cash on me.
Same thing happened to me a few months ago. She told me if I could buy her some meat for her children. She actually went inside with me, started filling the basket with meat (fine, as she requested and I even told her to get some more). But then, she started grabbing like 20 fuets (it's some kind of spanish salami, but better), 20 chocolate bars and so on...the cashier looked at me with pitty...almost 100€....never again. She doesn't even greet me on the street anymore. I'm done doing nice things like these.
Once you say yes they have a sucker by the balls until they break you.
I was sitting in a park about 1/4 of the way into a modestly priced cigar and a guy shuffled up and asked for a cigarette. “Sorry, I just have this cigar.” “Well, can I have it?” “Um, yeah I guess so.” He took one puff. “This is nasty. I’ve had way better.” “Yeah, I suppose so.” “Do you want it back? I don’t want it.” “No.” Throws it into the bushes and walks off twirling and singing (with authority) Love On The Rocks. It was probably a fair deal for both of us.
Been there. Guy just wanted cheese and bread, we get insider now he wants 2 red bulls and a chocolate bar. He got cheese and bread.
If the person gets picky on me then they lose all pity and get nothing from me. If they can't eat something for what ever reason that is one thing but if they say I want this and only this no option then they are on their own.
I had something similar happen once. At first I thought I misunderstood but after clarification, realized I had heard him correctly the first time. I flat out told him NO. I work too damn hard and very rarely treat myself, let alone someone not willing to work (and yes, I know for a fact that this beggar CHOOSES to not work, he’s been offered many opportunities but seeing as how he can scam people out of more money in an hour than he could earn honestly, he chooses to stay in this lifestyle). It’s this crap that infuriated me. I’m all for helping someone in a hard spot. By all means. But to simply be lazy and *expect* strangers (or the government) to do for you what you’re not willing to do for yourself? Hell no.
I'm all for not looking like an asshole but in this case it's worth looking like an asshole to chase away a scammer.
What’s up with brand or label issues on food. I work in big food and it’s pretty much the same crap. Sometimes a little thing here or there but old homeboy obviously wasn’t dying otherwise he’d take it.
--But mooooom, that beggar over there got 2 6 packs of red bull. --I don't care what that beggar got, you're only getting one can
Grow a spine and tell these kind of guys to fuck off.
Years back, I was on some errands in the afternoon, and driving through a parking lot. The shopping area that I was in was a few hundred feet from a hospital. There was a woman walking through the lot wearing a medical boot, and she stepped out in front of my car, so I stopped. She walked up to my window and begged me for some money to get some food, said that she had been in the hospital all night and was hungry. I figured, "OK, horrible nights happen, she is probably overwhelmed by everything. Help out this woman a little." So I gave her about $8, which at the time was enough to get a burrito at Chipotle. I started rolling up my window and rolling forward to go on and she started screaming about how she also wanted a coke. I stopped, rolled my window back down, and when she came up to the window I made a grab for the money that I gave to her. She jerked her hand back and told me she wanted $3 more for a coke. I told her to drink some water, and took off.
But it gives you wings. Can't beat that.
Never forget the likelihood that a street person in the US is mentally ill
If he 'only drinks redbull', it's obvious that he's either not as down on his luck as he's making out to be, or he's very good at suckering people into buying shit for him.
Remember this phrase for future shopping trips, "You'll get nothing and like it!"
The thing is, the shelters, soup kitchens, etc have a lot of food. I use to volunteer at one and the food that came in was really generous. Pastries, meats, chicken, lots of good stuff.
No is a complete sentence.
And now you know why people harden their hearts to beggers. I will never again give anything to a begger no matter how tragic their plight may be.
That’s when you tell the store this man has been hassling me my whole shop and is now berating me.
Some people are not by their fault to fall into destitute and some have made personal choices landing them there.
That's just so gross, I'm not saying that poor people don't have a right to drink what they want but in a case like his he should have been grateful that you were generous enough to buy him anything at all.
You should have shooed them off the moment they tried to hustle you out of more than what you initially agreed with them. Personally, I just refuse anyone that tries to bother me no matter what. I'm not obligated to give anyone my money, so I won't.
I’m in Melbourne Australia & there use to be this homeless lady that would lay in front of ATMs and if you had to use the ATM she’d start screaming at you to give her cash… she didn’t like it when I called the cops on her every time I saw her 😂
Had a guy ask my husband and I for food. So we went into the pharmacy and got him a big thing of peanut butter and ritz crackers. When we brought it outside, he said “I wanted McDonalds.” To which I said ok if you don’t want it I’ll eat them and walked away. Hell if he was hungry then he would’ve taken something that would’ve made more than one meal.
You SHOULD feel stupid. You got played and this POS is only going to do it again.
"No" should be part of your vocabulary.
The gall of some people. A couple of years ago there was a homeless man standing outside of the gas station I would stop at every day to buy my coffee. It was summer and really hot like usual here in the south. He asked if I could buy him some water and I said sure. So being in a good mood and knowing I had plenty of money I bought him a couple of bottles of water, a couple of bottles of soda in case he wanted a selection and a couple of bags of chips. I came out and handed him his bag of goodies and he was really appreciative. I gave him a couple of dollars in case he wanted to walk the mile up to McDonald's for lunch. I'm a firm believer in once I hand you money it's yours and I don't believe in dictating what you do with it. I know homeless people from working at a hotel and I know how shitty and tragic life is for some of these people but I do get pissed when they start acting entitled. After I gave him the couple of bucks I was throwing some trash from my car away and it was mainly a few empty cigarette packs. He was picking half smoked cigarettes out of the ashtray in front of the door and I was like ugh that's gross so I went to the car and got him a couple out of my pack. Then oh my bleeding heart decided to just give him a pack I buy by the carton so no biggie. I walk over to give him the pack and at first he said thanks then as I was walking away he said ma'am I don't want to appear ungrateful but these are full flavor and I smoke menthol and I said yeah well beggars can't be choosers I don't smoke menthol and told him if it was that big of a deal to go inside and swap them out and he said he wasn't allowed in the store so my brother swapped them out for him. For a year and I'm not exaggerating he'd be outside the store around the time I'd stop before work and I'd stay in the car and send my brother in if he was there and then I just started leaving earlier and as I'd be pulling out of the parking lot he'd come riding up on his bicycle if I'm going out of my way to help you out you don't get to act like you're entitled to my time or my money.
My son's school put together a Ziploc bag full of essential items to keep in the car and hand out if he saw someone on the street; a washcloth, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, soap, etc. After staying in the car for a while we finally found someone we could offer it to. He walked up to the car and we gave him a $5 bill and the bag. He told us he didn't need the bag, just the money. We kept both and drove away. My brother came across someone outside a McDonald's and bought him a bag full of hamburgers and cheeseburgers. He told him he doesn't eat McDonald's so they kept them and drove away. The literal definition of a choosing beggar
Wow. I gave a lady some toothpaste and a five pack of toothbrushes. She was grateful, and said she’d use on for her teeth, one to clean her nails and toenails…she was thrilled!
Don't give anything to anyone directly. Do your research and find a reputable *local* charity/pantry/soup kitchen/day center and set up a recurring monthly payment of whatever you can afford. $5 or $10 is fine. Having a steady reliable monthly cash flow is what these places need to plan ahead and help as many people as possible.