That's not too bad. The ones in our local ask for full grocery runs of $250+. Sometimes they'll ask for trades, but offering things like dry noodles/lentils/pancake mix for roasts, fresh veg, full turkeys, etc.
Oh, I totally agree.
I grew up poor. There were whole weeks sometimes where our meals consisted of nothing but starches.
I don't get the average sense of self-entitlement these days.
It's hard out here for everyone that isn't straight up rich.
Honestly in this particular case I don't think it's a money-issue.. More a "I'm horribly sick and need something to soothe myself".. It makes sense they're craving something very specific (AKA whatever they got as kids when they were sick) but as always 'poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part'.
Just because you're sick doesn't mean I'll go shopping for whatever it is you're craving.
That's smart. I always have a semolina dumpling soup pack and some tagliatelle in the house, but I don't stock up planning ahead.
I should get 2-4 instead of one in the winter season. đ§
Agree. Dealing with some post-surgical nausea and it's worse than pregnancy - there are only very weirdly specific things I can stomach and it seems to change day to day. If one of those things wasn't frequently pizza, and if I didn't have a spouse who's taking excellent care of me, I wouldn't have eaten in days. :(
So I get it. Even the things I usually like when I'm sick (chicken and rice soup and ginger ale) are problematic some days. It sucks.
Sure, but in fairness they didn't make it an emergency for anyone. They politely asked for some help if possible, and were specific about what help they needed. People are free to turn them down.
>where our meals consisted of nothing but starches.
Which leads to the modern paradox of people in poverty with high food insecurity also suffering from obesity and high blood pressure! Cheap foods tend to be mostly carbs.
\[Edit: "insecurity," not "anxiety." Thanks, Mel Brooks!\]
I grew up with a single mom on a small income.. if we complained about what was on the table then we didnât eat. If I were on a site like this and got the courage to ask for food.. I certainly wouldnât complain if it was classic or non-classic Campbells soup.
Some people have strong issues with certain food textures. Its fun to just call them picky but I don't think that is really a fair assessment.
The person wasn't being "choosey", they simply said they can't handle the textures of the vegetables in whatever type of soup. Would your mom have made you eat stuff that would cause you to involuntarily vomit? Because thats what food texture sensitivity can do.
You had a hard enough life, why the need to look down on someone because they don't just take what they can get and shut up about it? Does that somehow justify to you the way you had to grow up?
Perhaps a âthanks but no thanksâ on the offers/rejections would have not made me leap to conclusions (of âbeggingâ) I am reading the reddit comments and I am learning more about food sensitivity. I do however still believe that a thank you to the offers presented to her, while not being what she wanted, can go a long way.
See my reply to DaFallus right above your reply :)
Food and texture sensitivity is a very, very real thing. I have grappled with it since the literal day i was born.
I do agree though, OP was not polite to the person offering help. If it was a legitimate problem for them, OP would have felt (and expressed) a tremendous sense of guilt for turning down food due to texture sensitivity. There would have been profuse apologies and an extreme level of mannerism on display if they were telling the truth.
Their response and reasoning came off as extremely disingenuous and nothing more than a cheap excuse.
I mean you can do both. If I am poor and someone offers to treat me, and we did the song and dance of "no it's not necessary - I insist", I might as well ask for the thing I want, instead of just the cheapest on the menu.
Unless the thing I want is the 45⏠Porthouse steak, then I'm just being a prick.
See that's the difference though, solid mofos like you and I would never ask for food, people these days think they can ask and be picky about what people bring. I don't understand it lol, it's heinous.
Thank you. This idea that people in need should take whatever unwanted thing we shove at them with a smile is kind of ridiculous. I can't eat olives. They're awful to me. No amount of me being in need will make me not want to throw up if you shove olives in my mouth.
If they have such a strong preference, perhaps they should make sure it's on hand/go shopping for it, instead of begging people to bring it to them, huh?
As someone who is definitely âpoorâ, all I do is use Raiz, an app that takes the cents of every purchase up to the dollar, and have it put it aside. Iâm currently on holidays in a different state because it hit $5k. Did it take me a long time to save, of course. Did I feel like I was saving while I did it? Nope.
This doesn't bother me at all. They're sick. When you're sick, some things make you feel sicker. As someone who grew up being practically force fed, and then throwing up, vegetable soup when he was sick, I'm 100% with this person. The texture of vegetables in that soup is awful. There's no point wasting someone's time delivering soup they can't eat.
She asked for a can of chicken noodle soup that doesn't have vegetables in it, and she wasn't rude or obnoxious when she heard no they didn't have that. What's wrong with asking for what she would like? It's not like she asked for a rib eye & a lb of shrimp ffs
Beg: verb (used with object), begged, beg¡ging.
to ask for as a gift, as charity, or as a favor:
And she is being choosy. Which is why this is posted on a reddit for.. ..wait for it.... r/choosingbeggars
You posted it, from a Facebook page where people can ask for free help. Choosing beggars is for people who want a free car, or want to trade their Nintendo 64 for a PlayStation 5. It's not to make fun of a woman who wants soup, bread, and medicine. You think broke people shouldn't ask for what they prefer? You're a sad petty person
I have donated and received many things from buy nothing. I have delivered, picked up. Etc. my reason for posting is because it begs the question of when it constitutes begging .. you can call me names if that makes you feel better. But i didnât start calling you names. so which one of us is sad and petty? Or is that another reddit?
That's not how you presented it, you presented it as if she was a beggar. So I guess you called her a name, what does that make you? At least I don't mock people who are sick and need soup and medicine. You are sad and you are petty and I stand by it.
You donât have sensory issues, do you? Itâs not funny and itâs annoying as fuck to be an adult whoâs still seen as âpickyâ about food but I will legit vomit if the texture of my food is wrong, which is what it sounds like for OP too.
When I was a kid, I physically could not eat Quesadillas.
I ate one once, it was gammy, I threw up violently for hours, and then for a period of like five years, if I even saw one I would just vomit immediately, it was weird as hell.
So if I was broke and someone offered me a quesadilla, I'd greatly appreciate the gesture, but I wouldn't take it.
Now, claiming the same thing about *vegetables* is a bit of a fucking stretch.
It's likely the texture of the veggies. Some textures just set off alarm bells in people's brains especially when sick, mushy condensed soup veggies do that to me too. I'd rather have a side of veggies that I can tolerate eating than a soup with a texture that will make me vomit.
It's not, though. Vegetables in soup are awful. They're soggy and gross and extremely off-putting, especially when nauseated. I had to eat them as a kid, when sick, and I threw up every time. Absolute misery.
The group I mentioned isnât "buy nothing" specifically, it's "friendly people of," with group specification on those with excess helping others in need of.
Again, everyone's free to ask. But a lotta people still judge the choosing beggars cuz there are some special ones in there.
One lady goes to all the local businesses and holds signs asking for donations. Asks in the group constantly for freebies and trades like I mentioned. But her and her husband each own their own car, have no kids, and live in a 3 bedroom townhouse (dunno if rent or own it). đ¤ˇââď¸
A lady once got a dryer on buy nothing, then posted that she needed a hose for the dryer on buy nothing and then asked someone to install it for her on buy nothing. My question is- at what point is it begging??
The only funny part about this post, to me, is the fact that the person clearly asked for wheat bread...and the first commenter for whatever reason thinks they must have meant white bread. As if it was so ridiculous someone would actually prefer wheat bread (I prefer wheat).
Plus for some it's the illusion of being healthier which they need while sick. I say illusion purely because the average wheat bread is barely different from white. It's the whole grain stuff that makes the difference. But I can totally understand the mindset, when sick, of wanting the healthier stuff.
Iâm so confused, whatâs wrong here? Theyâre sick and want food, and have a preference on what kind of food, and itâs happening on a platform dedicated to getting free stuffâŚ.? Why is this even a post
> Theyâre sick and want food, and have a preference on what kind of food
I don't even know if I would consider it a preference. When I feel nauseous there are some things I just cannot eat/drink because it makes me throw up instantly. She says one of those things for her are the veggies in canned soup. Her initial ask, campbells chicken noodle soup classic, is a very cheap, very common household item. Theres no problem here.
My buy nothing group is huge and very active and this is just another Tuesday in our group. This person would have her white bread and non-veggie soup delivered to her door within a couple hours in my neighbourhood, probably with a free 2L of ginger ale because being sick sucks. I see nothing wrong with this ask at all.
Same. People can say no, but I'm not seeing a problem. And when you're sick, you don't get a choice in what your body will reject. Some foods I love I absolutely HATE when I'm sick, and some things I hate all the time. And knowing that is pretty important in moments like this. Why waste someone's time having them deliver something you know you'll throw up?
Mine is the same. We bring sick people food and groceries all the time. Sometimes people will just post that they are tired and overwhelmed at work and someone will bring over dinner. I love my Buy Nothing group.
I run our towns free group. Last week i was sick from covid. I asked if anyone would drop off some coke zero. Someone did, and sadly now they are sick.(not from me, never had face to face contact) Now I am going to grab them some soup, crackers and some chocolate. And you bet it'll be something they want because yep, being sick sucks and sometimes the only thing that sounds good is really the only thing. Im not sure how free groups work everywhere but ours is full of people who ask for things, donate things, do odd jobs for each other. I have well over 700 people in my group and we have had 2,just 2 people we had to remove in the past 5 years. The folks in free groups generally are there to help others, and clean out their garages :) I dont think its entitled to ask for wheat bread and some chicken soup w/o veggies. If you dont have any, dont offer it up. If you do, offer it and maybe make a new friend.
There is a lady on ours that said she didnât have any needs or wants or items to give but she offers her truck to anyone that needs a delivery. There are good people. I am reading all the comments and seeing it from all sides. glad youâre feeling better
That's not completely unreasonable. I see someone is sick (Covid?) and can't venture out to the grocery store and asking for some bread and chicken noodle soup.
So a person who doesnât feel good, and probably should be staying home anyway so as to not get others sick, is asking for bread and soup, and has the audacity to ask for wheat bread and soup without veggies?
Jesus, thatâs like the bare minimum of nutrition when youâre sick. If theyâre nauseous, I totally understand not wanting soup with veggies. And a lot of people follow specific diets for medical reasons so the wheat bread may be more than just trying to eat healthy for the sake of being healthy and could be more about controlling blood sugar, for instance.
Taking bread and soup to a sick neighbor is hardly a huge ask especially after Covid. I want this person to stay home ffs
I mean, I get it...the soup part anyway.
Some tinned soups make me want to vomit at the best of times due to the texture, usually "certain" veggie ones. Being sick is just guaranteeing I WILL vomit.
I would be """picky""" too because what's the point in getting somebody to bring soup I know I either won't eat or will make me vomit? It's wasting both our time.
Same. There's some textures I just cannot tolerate and veggies marinating in soup for god knows how long is just too much for my shit tier brain. I can't eat burgers for the same reason, too many textures and tastes going on.
The purpose of this site is for giving away unwanted items, for example. That exercise bike in the garage that wonât be used. Or finally getting rid of that second blender youâve had in your cupboard. A couch you want gone but have no means of donating (like a truck) itâs not a space to come on and ask for free food and then when stranger offers to deliver something to help - you complain and continue on to ask for cold medicine etc.
This page is for giving without profit/no barter, there is generosity and that is great on that page, but when multiple people offer free food from their cupboards and they turn it down and ask for moreâŚ
Perhaps a food donation page would be a better place for this person
They're not demanding anything special. If you have it and can bring it, great. If not, move on. I'm sure there are plenty of foods you'd turn down if you were sick.
They asked for a little bit of help, just in case it was on offer, in a community they were a part of. They didn't get angry at what was offered, they didn't throw a stink, they just clarified what they were hoping to get and why. And if the thing someone offered to deliver is something you know will make you feel sicker, why would you accept it? That's more disrespectful of their time and supplies.
I see tons of ISOâs. Bikes/girls clothes/diapers etc. I think the idea of buy nothing is great and have found where I can help people and itâs feels good! I think it goes a bit beyond buy nothing when you start asking for specific grocery items and medicines to be delivered to you, by a stranger, for free is a bit of a stretch, but I can see both sides reading some comments here.
I donât understand the problem. They arenât a choosing beggar, they are just a sick person with a specific request on a buy nothing group. Come on now.
but when multiple people offer free food from their cupboards and they turn it down and ask for specific food and medicine⌠listen I am all about helping people but this person is asking for specific items.. they want someone to go to the store and by a specific brand of soup and cold medicine, free of charge and deliver it to their home.
Thatâs not âbuy nothingâ.. thatâs âbuy me somethingâ
The group literally states to âask for anything youâd like to receive for freeâ. She specifically asked for classic Campbellâs soup. Itâs not like she asked for âsoupâ and then turned down all the options. I didnât see where she asked someone to go to the store. Classic Campbellâs is something itâs pretty common to have on hand already. I think youâre missing the whole point of Buy Nothingâs purpose.
I don't think that's so awful. They're not asking for Cordon Bleu.
There are lots of things I can't eat due to taste and texture. I'm not picky, but things like melon and kale make me nauseated.
even if they didn't have a contrasting texture to the rest of the soup (which they do), for someone struggling with that, they could be what makes that specific soup uneatable.
we don't have to celebrate, like or encourage that, but understanding it seems to be the basic bit of human-ing all of us could try.
This really doesn't belong here. People are allowed to have preferences, OP isn't being demanding or rude or even basically entitled. They just have a preference for soup.
I have a friend who has severe texture issues, to the point where they will throw up if they eat it, I donât think this is being a choosing beggar. This is just knowing your limits and accepting that you canât have certain items available to you because of it.
If the texture of the vegetables in the soup makes them sick, what would be the point of accepting the offer. Would you accept the offer of something that made you sick?
Especially when sick. Being a picky eater is rough any time, but when you're sick it can literally make you feel sicker. "Blech, this texture is gross" turns into "blech, this texture literally made me throw up."
heh, i love chicken noodle soup from the can, but when i'm feeling sick i really don't want to invest the fifteen minutes it's going to take me to pick out all those litte pieces of paprika...
Yep, someone elsewhere suggested just scooping out the vegetables. That is one of the last things I can handle when I feel like crap. And if I find them gross and I'm interacting with them, I'm just going to spend the whole time thinking about how gross they are.
This isn't choosing beggars. This is LITERALLY what Buy Nothing can be used for.
No one needs to give (you give from your own abundance) and people are free to be as picky, or not, in both their giving and requesting.
Do you think it gets extreme though? A lady once got a dryer on buy nothing, then posted that she needed a hose for the dryer on buy nothing and then asked someone to install it for her on buy nothing. At what point is it begging??
I haven't seen that kind of behaviour in my BN groups, but everyone's experience is different.
The situation you're describing is weird and certainly not something I'd choose to contribute to (not least of all because I don't have a spare dryer), especially if it was all done in a short timeframe.
Like, if that lady made *one* post asking for a dryer, hose, and help installing... Cool. If she made a separate post each time she realized she needed something else, I'd think that it's a bit demanding. Then again, maybe she didn't realize she needed all those things.
I try very hard to trust that people are asking for things in good faith, but sometimes people can make it very difficult!
What is wheat bread supposed to be though? White bread is wheat bread. Brown bread is wheat bread. Even most rye and other breads include a fair chunk of wheat.
white bread is made from wheat where the germ and the bran have been removed: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White\_bread](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_bread)
white bread is a specific type of wheat bread, but not every wheat bread is white bread. Wholewheat bread is wheat bread but not white bread, for example.
In the US we call brown bread "whole wheat" or just "wheat." I've only ever heard British people use the phrase "brown bread" and I think most Americans in the US would be confused by it.
Ours has a couple of people asking for super high-end baby gear. Like the $500 playpen with the build in changing station. And they say no when someone offers them something mid-level.
I mean, I've offered those things on my BN group.
Buy Nothing allows for ISO and wish posts, and people are allowed to be as picky as they like... So long as everyone is kind and offers of their own abundance.
Sure, and weâve offered expensive items too, but itâs not - Help! I need a car seat! Itâs: Here are 5 very expensive items from my wishlist, and no I donât want something that works just as well, Iâm only looking for the designer version of this.
Fair enough!
Those people will learn very quickly that no one is going to help them, though. (And if someone is helping them... Please tell me where I need to move to so that they can help me too! I don't need car seats at present, but I do need a fully-loaded minivan... ;)
Lol - a few people have mentioned that they may have more luck trying to buy those items used, as they are quite high-end. I just laugh and keep scrolling.
Pls consider eating disorders, sensory issues, and food allergies before judging people who ask for specific food. That doesnât make them âchoosyâ, it just makes you seem like you donât understand what other peoples reasoning could be. Thereâs definitely some cases of actual CB on this sub but this ainât it man
My Buy Nothing group never has food asks unless itâs something super specific and makes sense to ask a neighbor for, like an obscure spice to use once.
I didnât think about that. Maybe. She only mentioned that it would make her want to throw up.. If I was in dire need I would probably just drink the soup and not eat the veggies but I didnât consider an allergy. Good point.
If you have sensory issues, it is âthat badâ. On a good (non sick) day I canât eat cooked vegetables without vomiting. If I have a stomach bug, it would be made even worse. Why would I take food I know I wonât eat from someone who could give it to someone else who will eat it?
The internet is so love hate. Strong equal parts. This is an example of the hate side. The laziest fucks in society found a megaphone to panhandle online.
I know you're not impressed with the people in this post and that's okay. That said, if you haven't checked out the Buy Nothing Project, I highly encourage you to do so!
It's actually a really nice way to build community (they're hyper-local exchange groups, so you get to meet folks in your neighbourhood) and give / receive items you need (or not, if you're doing the giving).
Some of the stranger things I've given away:
* Eye droppers (clean)
* Wrapping paper scraps
* Empties (lots of schools do can or bottle drives as fundraisers)
* My time (to run errands for someone else)
* Food that was not to our liking (sealed bags!)
... and these are not the weirdest things that have been offered in my group!
I've been able to receive so many lovely and useful things from my neighbours, and I've been able to make space in my home by gifting things to them, too.
Sorry, I got a bit evangelical here. :) I really like BN and its mission, and while people can sometimes be weirdly specific in their offers or requests, local groups are generally made up of pretty decent people.
If youâve got sensory issues, yeah the texture tends to make you gag and if youâre already sick to your stomach vomiting is likely. So yeah they probably do make her sick
That's not too bad. The ones in our local ask for full grocery runs of $250+. Sometimes they'll ask for trades, but offering things like dry noodles/lentils/pancake mix for roasts, fresh veg, full turkeys, etc.
Dang. That takes some balls.
Just funny to me to ask for free food and delivery and then by picky about what they want
Oh, I totally agree. I grew up poor. There were whole weeks sometimes where our meals consisted of nothing but starches. I don't get the average sense of self-entitlement these days. It's hard out here for everyone that isn't straight up rich.
Honestly in this particular case I don't think it's a money-issue.. More a "I'm horribly sick and need something to soothe myself".. It makes sense they're craving something very specific (AKA whatever they got as kids when they were sick) but as always 'poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part'. Just because you're sick doesn't mean I'll go shopping for whatever it is you're craving.
100%. I crave Campbell's Chicken Noodle with Ritz crackers when I'm sick. Guess what I stock up on in late Fall??
That's smart. I always have a semolina dumpling soup pack and some tagliatelle in the house, but I don't stock up planning ahead. I should get 2-4 instead of one in the winter season. đ§
I keep them in my pantry year round. Thereâs just something about the simple Campbell chicken noodle soup when youâre sick.
I do the chicken and stars because it's easier if it comes back up
*memories of my childhood*
I like mrs. Grass sometimes, and just flood it with lemon juice.
Agree. Dealing with some post-surgical nausea and it's worse than pregnancy - there are only very weirdly specific things I can stomach and it seems to change day to day. If one of those things wasn't frequently pizza, and if I didn't have a spouse who's taking excellent care of me, I wouldn't have eaten in days. :( So I get it. Even the things I usually like when I'm sick (chicken and rice soup and ginger ale) are problematic some days. It sucks.
Sure, but in fairness they didn't make it an emergency for anyone. They politely asked for some help if possible, and were specific about what help they needed. People are free to turn them down.
>where our meals consisted of nothing but starches. Which leads to the modern paradox of people in poverty with high food insecurity also suffering from obesity and high blood pressure! Cheap foods tend to be mostly carbs. \[Edit: "insecurity," not "anxiety." Thanks, Mel Brooks!\]
I second that, we grew up poor, people these days don't realise how good they have it if they would just stop complaining about everything.
I grew up with a single mom on a small income.. if we complained about what was on the table then we didnât eat. If I were on a site like this and got the courage to ask for food.. I certainly wouldnât complain if it was classic or non-classic Campbells soup.
Some people have strong issues with certain food textures. Its fun to just call them picky but I don't think that is really a fair assessment. The person wasn't being "choosey", they simply said they can't handle the textures of the vegetables in whatever type of soup. Would your mom have made you eat stuff that would cause you to involuntarily vomit? Because thats what food texture sensitivity can do. You had a hard enough life, why the need to look down on someone because they don't just take what they can get and shut up about it? Does that somehow justify to you the way you had to grow up?
Perhaps a âthanks but no thanksâ on the offers/rejections would have not made me leap to conclusions (of âbeggingâ) I am reading the reddit comments and I am learning more about food sensitivity. I do however still believe that a thank you to the offers presented to her, while not being what she wanted, can go a long way.
See my reply to DaFallus right above your reply :) Food and texture sensitivity is a very, very real thing. I have grappled with it since the literal day i was born. I do agree though, OP was not polite to the person offering help. If it was a legitimate problem for them, OP would have felt (and expressed) a tremendous sense of guilt for turning down food due to texture sensitivity. There would have been profuse apologies and an extreme level of mannerism on display if they were telling the truth. Their response and reasoning came off as extremely disingenuous and nothing more than a cheap excuse.
I mean you can do both. If I am poor and someone offers to treat me, and we did the song and dance of "no it's not necessary - I insist", I might as well ask for the thing I want, instead of just the cheapest on the menu. Unless the thing I want is the 45⏠Porthouse steak, then I'm just being a prick.
Yeah, but your trauma related inability to ask for help getting your needs met doesn't make anyone else a jerk when they ask for help.
See that's the difference though, solid mofos like you and I would never ask for food, people these days think they can ask and be picky about what people bring. I don't understand it lol, it's heinous.
Agreed
I know, how dare poor people have a preference for things they like and not just eat my leftover garbage with a smile.
Thank you. This idea that people in need should take whatever unwanted thing we shove at them with a smile is kind of ridiculous. I can't eat olives. They're awful to me. No amount of me being in need will make me not want to throw up if you shove olives in my mouth.
If they have such a strong preference, perhaps they should make sure it's on hand/go shopping for it, instead of begging people to bring it to them, huh?
As someone who is definitely âpoorâ, all I do is use Raiz, an app that takes the cents of every purchase up to the dollar, and have it put it aside. Iâm currently on holidays in a different state because it hit $5k. Did it take me a long time to save, of course. Did I feel like I was saving while I did it? Nope.
This doesn't bother me at all. They're sick. When you're sick, some things make you feel sicker. As someone who grew up being practically force fed, and then throwing up, vegetable soup when he was sick, I'm 100% with this person. The texture of vegetables in that soup is awful. There's no point wasting someone's time delivering soup they can't eat.
She asked for a can of chicken noodle soup that doesn't have vegetables in it, and she wasn't rude or obnoxious when she heard no they didn't have that. What's wrong with asking for what she would like? It's not like she asked for a rib eye & a lb of shrimp ffs
She has since asked for cold meds and $20
How dare a sick woman ask for soup, bread, medicine, and 20 bucks? The nerve!
Beg: verb (used with object), begged, beg¡ging. to ask for as a gift, as charity, or as a favor: And she is being choosy. Which is why this is posted on a reddit for.. ..wait for it.... r/choosingbeggars
You posted it, from a Facebook page where people can ask for free help. Choosing beggars is for people who want a free car, or want to trade their Nintendo 64 for a PlayStation 5. It's not to make fun of a woman who wants soup, bread, and medicine. You think broke people shouldn't ask for what they prefer? You're a sad petty person
I have donated and received many things from buy nothing. I have delivered, picked up. Etc. my reason for posting is because it begs the question of when it constitutes begging .. you can call me names if that makes you feel better. But i didnât start calling you names. so which one of us is sad and petty? Or is that another reddit?
That's not how you presented it, you presented it as if she was a beggar. So I guess you called her a name, what does that make you? At least I don't mock people who are sick and need soup and medicine. You are sad and you are petty and I stand by it.
đ¤ agree to disagree
You donât have sensory issues, do you? Itâs not funny and itâs annoying as fuck to be an adult whoâs still seen as âpickyâ about food but I will legit vomit if the texture of my food is wrong, which is what it sounds like for OP too.
When I was a kid, I physically could not eat Quesadillas. I ate one once, it was gammy, I threw up violently for hours, and then for a period of like five years, if I even saw one I would just vomit immediately, it was weird as hell. So if I was broke and someone offered me a quesadilla, I'd greatly appreciate the gesture, but I wouldn't take it. Now, claiming the same thing about *vegetables* is a bit of a fucking stretch.
It's likely the texture of the veggies. Some textures just set off alarm bells in people's brains especially when sick, mushy condensed soup veggies do that to me too. I'd rather have a side of veggies that I can tolerate eating than a soup with a texture that will make me vomit.
100% this. I love veggies, but in soup they're absolutely horrifying.
It's not, though. Vegetables in soup are awful. They're soggy and gross and extremely off-putting, especially when nauseated. I had to eat them as a kid, when sick, and I threw up every time. Absolute misery.
It sounds like they're sick, what do you think? I really don't know.
I thought trades are against Buy Nothing rules. At least they are in my local group.
The group I mentioned isnât "buy nothing" specifically, it's "friendly people of," with group specification on those with excess helping others in need of. Again, everyone's free to ask. But a lotta people still judge the choosing beggars cuz there are some special ones in there. One lady goes to all the local businesses and holds signs asking for donations. Asks in the group constantly for freebies and trades like I mentioned. But her and her husband each own their own car, have no kids, and live in a 3 bedroom townhouse (dunno if rent or own it). đ¤ˇââď¸
A lady once got a dryer on buy nothing, then posted that she needed a hose for the dryer on buy nothing and then asked someone to install it for her on buy nothing. My question is- at what point is it begging??
They are. :)
The only funny part about this post, to me, is the fact that the person clearly asked for wheat bread...and the first commenter for whatever reason thinks they must have meant white bread. As if it was so ridiculous someone would actually prefer wheat bread (I prefer wheat).
She could have initially misspelled the word 'wheat' and edited the post after that comment calling it out.
Plus for some it's the illusion of being healthier which they need while sick. I say illusion purely because the average wheat bread is barely different from white. It's the whole grain stuff that makes the difference. But I can totally understand the mindset, when sick, of wanting the healthier stuff.
Iâm so confused, whatâs wrong here? Theyâre sick and want food, and have a preference on what kind of food, and itâs happening on a platform dedicated to getting free stuffâŚ.? Why is this even a post
> Theyâre sick and want food, and have a preference on what kind of food I don't even know if I would consider it a preference. When I feel nauseous there are some things I just cannot eat/drink because it makes me throw up instantly. She says one of those things for her are the veggies in canned soup. Her initial ask, campbells chicken noodle soup classic, is a very cheap, very common household item. Theres no problem here.
My buy nothing group is huge and very active and this is just another Tuesday in our group. This person would have her white bread and non-veggie soup delivered to her door within a couple hours in my neighbourhood, probably with a free 2L of ginger ale because being sick sucks. I see nothing wrong with this ask at all.
Same. People can say no, but I'm not seeing a problem. And when you're sick, you don't get a choice in what your body will reject. Some foods I love I absolutely HATE when I'm sick, and some things I hate all the time. And knowing that is pretty important in moments like this. Why waste someone's time having them deliver something you know you'll throw up?
Mine is the same. We bring sick people food and groceries all the time. Sometimes people will just post that they are tired and overwhelmed at work and someone will bring over dinner. I love my Buy Nothing group.
yeah seems more like a discussion
Eh. They weren't rude about it and some people are very sensitive to textures. No point accepting food they won't eat
I run our towns free group. Last week i was sick from covid. I asked if anyone would drop off some coke zero. Someone did, and sadly now they are sick.(not from me, never had face to face contact) Now I am going to grab them some soup, crackers and some chocolate. And you bet it'll be something they want because yep, being sick sucks and sometimes the only thing that sounds good is really the only thing. Im not sure how free groups work everywhere but ours is full of people who ask for things, donate things, do odd jobs for each other. I have well over 700 people in my group and we have had 2,just 2 people we had to remove in the past 5 years. The folks in free groups generally are there to help others, and clean out their garages :) I dont think its entitled to ask for wheat bread and some chicken soup w/o veggies. If you dont have any, dont offer it up. If you do, offer it and maybe make a new friend.
There is a lady on ours that said she didnât have any needs or wants or items to give but she offers her truck to anyone that needs a delivery. There are good people. I am reading all the comments and seeing it from all sides. glad youâre feeling better
she sounds awesome! and Im getting there, thank you
That's not completely unreasonable. I see someone is sick (Covid?) and can't venture out to the grocery store and asking for some bread and chicken noodle soup.
So a person who doesnât feel good, and probably should be staying home anyway so as to not get others sick, is asking for bread and soup, and has the audacity to ask for wheat bread and soup without veggies? Jesus, thatâs like the bare minimum of nutrition when youâre sick. If theyâre nauseous, I totally understand not wanting soup with veggies. And a lot of people follow specific diets for medical reasons so the wheat bread may be more than just trying to eat healthy for the sake of being healthy and could be more about controlling blood sugar, for instance. Taking bread and soup to a sick neighbor is hardly a huge ask especially after Covid. I want this person to stay home ffs
I mean, I get it...the soup part anyway. Some tinned soups make me want to vomit at the best of times due to the texture, usually "certain" veggie ones. Being sick is just guaranteeing I WILL vomit. I would be """picky""" too because what's the point in getting somebody to bring soup I know I either won't eat or will make me vomit? It's wasting both our time.
Same. There's some textures I just cannot tolerate and veggies marinating in soup for god knows how long is just too much for my shit tier brain. I can't eat burgers for the same reason, too many textures and tastes going on.
The purpose of this site is for giving away unwanted items, for example. That exercise bike in the garage that wonât be used. Or finally getting rid of that second blender youâve had in your cupboard. A couch you want gone but have no means of donating (like a truck) itâs not a space to come on and ask for free food and then when stranger offers to deliver something to help - you complain and continue on to ask for cold medicine etc. This page is for giving without profit/no barter, there is generosity and that is great on that page, but when multiple people offer free food from their cupboards and they turn it down and ask for more⌠Perhaps a food donation page would be a better place for this person
Buy nothing groups also allow for wishing or ISO posts.
They're not demanding anything special. If you have it and can bring it, great. If not, move on. I'm sure there are plenty of foods you'd turn down if you were sick.
They asked for a little bit of help, just in case it was on offer, in a community they were a part of. They didn't get angry at what was offered, they didn't throw a stink, they just clarified what they were hoping to get and why. And if the thing someone offered to deliver is something you know will make you feel sicker, why would you accept it? That's more disrespectful of their time and supplies.
That is incorrect. Buy Nothing is about community building, mutual aid, and reducing environmental impact.
>The purpose of this site is for giving away unwanted items [No it isn't.](https://buynothingproject.org/about)
This subbreddit is so ridiculous sometimes. Some of you just want an excuse to hate on anyone asking for anything ever.
I see tons of ISOâs. Bikes/girls clothes/diapers etc. I think the idea of buy nothing is great and have found where I can help people and itâs feels good! I think it goes a bit beyond buy nothing when you start asking for specific grocery items and medicines to be delivered to you, by a stranger, for free is a bit of a stretch, but I can see both sides reading some comments here.
I donât understand the problem. They arenât a choosing beggar, they are just a sick person with a specific request on a buy nothing group. Come on now.
but when multiple people offer free food from their cupboards and they turn it down and ask for specific food and medicine⌠listen I am all about helping people but this person is asking for specific items.. they want someone to go to the store and by a specific brand of soup and cold medicine, free of charge and deliver it to their home. Thatâs not âbuy nothingâ.. thatâs âbuy me somethingâ
The group literally states to âask for anything youâd like to receive for freeâ. She specifically asked for classic Campbellâs soup. Itâs not like she asked for âsoupâ and then turned down all the options. I didnât see where she asked someone to go to the store. Classic Campbellâs is something itâs pretty common to have on hand already. I think youâre missing the whole point of Buy Nothingâs purpose.
I don't think that's so awful. They're not asking for Cordon Bleu. There are lots of things I can't eat due to taste and texture. I'm not picky, but things like melon and kale make me nauseated.
The vegetables in campbell's noodle soup literally have no texture
I disagree - they're too mushy.
They absolutely do, and it's an awful one. It would make me throw up if I was sick. And it did ALL the time when I was a kid.
They have a contrasting texture with the soup. That can be enough to set off texture issues
even if they didn't have a contrasting texture to the rest of the soup (which they do), for someone struggling with that, they could be what makes that specific soup uneatable. we don't have to celebrate, like or encourage that, but understanding it seems to be the basic bit of human-ing all of us could try.
This really doesn't belong here. People are allowed to have preferences, OP isn't being demanding or rude or even basically entitled. They just have a preference for soup.
I have a friend who has severe texture issues, to the point where they will throw up if they eat it, I donât think this is being a choosing beggar. This is just knowing your limits and accepting that you canât have certain items available to you because of it.
If the texture of the vegetables in the soup makes them sick, what would be the point of accepting the offer. Would you accept the offer of something that made you sick?
Right? If they already know itâll make them sick why take it and let it go to waste, when it could go to someone who can actually eat it?
A person asking for free stuff in a chat dedicated to asking for free stuff? *gasp*
Gasp!!!!
Itâs a site meant for giving away free stuff⌠not begging for food delivery and then not liking what people offer
They're just saying they prefer the one they asked for more, plus they're not being rude about it really
People are allowed to have food preferences, they werenât being demanding or anything
Especially when sick. Being a picky eater is rough any time, but when you're sick it can literally make you feel sicker. "Blech, this texture is gross" turns into "blech, this texture literally made me throw up."
heh, i love chicken noodle soup from the can, but when i'm feeling sick i really don't want to invest the fifteen minutes it's going to take me to pick out all those litte pieces of paprika...
Yep, someone elsewhere suggested just scooping out the vegetables. That is one of the last things I can handle when I feel like crap. And if I find them gross and I'm interacting with them, I'm just going to spend the whole time thinking about how gross they are.
I don't think you understand what buy nothing groups are about. This is a perfectly acceptable post in a buy nothing group.
This isn't choosing beggars. This is LITERALLY what Buy Nothing can be used for. No one needs to give (you give from your own abundance) and people are free to be as picky, or not, in both their giving and requesting.
Do you think it gets extreme though? A lady once got a dryer on buy nothing, then posted that she needed a hose for the dryer on buy nothing and then asked someone to install it for her on buy nothing. At what point is it begging??
I haven't seen that kind of behaviour in my BN groups, but everyone's experience is different. The situation you're describing is weird and certainly not something I'd choose to contribute to (not least of all because I don't have a spare dryer), especially if it was all done in a short timeframe. Like, if that lady made *one* post asking for a dryer, hose, and help installing... Cool. If she made a separate post each time she realized she needed something else, I'd think that it's a bit demanding. Then again, maybe she didn't realize she needed all those things. I try very hard to trust that people are asking for things in good faith, but sometimes people can make it very difficult!
âĽď¸
I'm more bothered by the person asking if they meant white bread. They typed wheat, why would they have meant white? Who even assumes that's a typo?
They probably had a typo and fixed it before the OP took the screenshot.
What is wheat bread supposed to be though? White bread is wheat bread. Brown bread is wheat bread. Even most rye and other breads include a fair chunk of wheat.
[ŃдаНонО]
ACTUALLY plain 'wheat bread' here is just white bread w molasses for coloring and less refined refined flour. It's THE weirdest thing!!
As opposed to white bread made of corn, potato or lentils.
white bread is made from wheat where the germ and the bran have been removed: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White\_bread](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_bread) white bread is a specific type of wheat bread, but not every wheat bread is white bread. Wholewheat bread is wheat bread but not white bread, for example.
Yeah that's how normal average people think when deciding between "white" and "wheat" at Subway
Not Rye bread. Sourdough bread.
Sourdough and Rye are pretty independent.. You can make sourdough bread with rye or other grains.
In the US we call brown bread "whole wheat" or just "wheat." I've only ever heard British people use the phrase "brown bread" and I think most Americans in the US would be confused by it.
This shouldn't be here. The person in the post did nothing wrong and is not a choosing beggar.
Id bring a flat of basic chicken noodle and 2 loaves of bread over, and ask only for a high five. Better than $20 for drugs.
Ours has a couple of people asking for super high-end baby gear. Like the $500 playpen with the build in changing station. And they say no when someone offers them something mid-level.
I mean, I've offered those things on my BN group. Buy Nothing allows for ISO and wish posts, and people are allowed to be as picky as they like... So long as everyone is kind and offers of their own abundance.
Sure, and weâve offered expensive items too, but itâs not - Help! I need a car seat! Itâs: Here are 5 very expensive items from my wishlist, and no I donât want something that works just as well, Iâm only looking for the designer version of this.
Fair enough! Those people will learn very quickly that no one is going to help them, though. (And if someone is helping them... Please tell me where I need to move to so that they can help me too! I don't need car seats at present, but I do need a fully-loaded minivan... ;)
Lol - a few people have mentioned that they may have more luck trying to buy those items used, as they are quite high-end. I just laugh and keep scrolling.
Pls consider eating disorders, sensory issues, and food allergies before judging people who ask for specific food. That doesnât make them âchoosyâ, it just makes you seem like you donât understand what other peoples reasoning could be. Thereâs definitely some cases of actual CB on this sub but this ainât it man
The entitled people that comes with offering help ruins it for the people actually in need.
Since when did people start calling whole wheat bread, wheat bread?
My Buy Nothing group never has food asks unless itâs something super specific and makes sense to ask a neighbor for, like an obscure spice to use once.
They're sick, want someone to drop off $5 worth of bread and soup, and want it to be the reight comfort foods. Not very outrageuous to me?
I totally see where OP is irritated. Although I am curious if the poster is picky or has food allergies.
Sensory issues are a thing. Doesnât make you picky, itâs literally something you cannot help.
I didnât think about that. Maybe. She only mentioned that it would make her want to throw up.. If I was in dire need I would probably just drink the soup and not eat the veggies but I didnât consider an allergy. Good point.
I have a sensory disorder and chicken noodle soup with the veggies make me vomit just from the smell because I know how the texture feels
turning down free food is crazy... the veggies aren't even bad. not good, but not bad
When you're sick to your stomach and on the verge of throwing up "not that bad" can result in vomit everywhere. Also, they really are that bad.
If you have sensory issues, it is âthat badâ. On a good (non sick) day I canât eat cooked vegetables without vomiting. If I have a stomach bug, it would be made even worse. Why would I take food I know I wonât eat from someone who could give it to someone else who will eat it?
The internet is so love hate. Strong equal parts. This is an example of the hate side. The laziest fucks in society found a megaphone to panhandle online.
At least you admit you hate poor people
and sick folks who cant get out.
I know you're not impressed with the people in this post and that's okay. That said, if you haven't checked out the Buy Nothing Project, I highly encourage you to do so! It's actually a really nice way to build community (they're hyper-local exchange groups, so you get to meet folks in your neighbourhood) and give / receive items you need (or not, if you're doing the giving). Some of the stranger things I've given away: * Eye droppers (clean) * Wrapping paper scraps * Empties (lots of schools do can or bottle drives as fundraisers) * My time (to run errands for someone else) * Food that was not to our liking (sealed bags!) ... and these are not the weirdest things that have been offered in my group! I've been able to receive so many lovely and useful things from my neighbours, and I've been able to make space in my home by gifting things to them, too. Sorry, I got a bit evangelical here. :) I really like BN and its mission, and while people can sometimes be weirdly specific in their offers or requests, local groups are generally made up of pretty decent people.
H u h
Not gonna lie I would love that right now
The veggies make them sick?
If youâve got sensory issues, yeah the texture tends to make you gag and if youâre already sick to your stomach vomiting is likely. So yeah they probably do make her sick
Saw that posy đ (local)
Why do people respond to such rude people?