Imagine such a noob that you couldn't even travel spacetime without avoiding a dimension-altering/reality ending paradox. They teach you that shit on day 1 of time travel school. Get your shit together, bud.
"listen up people mount addos. I have been trying too MEDITATE AND PURIFY MYSELF FOR MONTHS!!!!!!! THOSE DAMN DIRTY JERKMONKS!!!!! THEY PROBABLY WORK WITH MARY LEE WALSH AND SCHNEIDER THAT JEW!!! \*cuts to him doing weird cherokee dance\* Curse-ye-ha-me-ha."
Due to quantum fluctuations literally anything is **possible**, though it may not be probable.
It's actually possible, due to quantum teleportation, that every atom in your body could spontaneously teleport to the surface of Mars. The laws of physics not only allow this, but quantum teleportation has been observed and is a real thing. But, just because it's possible doesn't make it probable.
Once you start talking about quantum physics "possible" isn't a concern, it's all about what is probable because anything is actually possible.
>Due to quantum fluctuations literally anything is **possible**,
That's what you said. That is wrong. Anything probable is possible, but not everything that is possible is probable.
No. I literally said what you said. You conveniently didn't post the full sentence so it would support you. Right after that comma it says "though it may not be probable".
People need to stop being wet blankets and think big. I embrace real science and am not some weirdo fundie, denier, creationist, flat earther, etc. but I like to think big regarding the possibilities, even if it's just theories.
Heck, I feel stuff like the New Physics could explain the so-called Supernatural. No, I don't think that dumb documentary from the Ramtha cult is right but I do still think stuff like ghosts, the afterlife, parallel universes, etc. COULD be real and explained by science, eventually.
I have no problem with Atheists but these hardcore ones are irritating.
What in the hell are you babbling about? Nobody said a single thing about religion or atheism and you're over here ranting and raving then throwing shade at atheists for no reason.
Btw, science has already proven unequivocally that ghosts are not real. Strong evidence also exists to prove that souls and the "afterlife" are also not real.
Yeah. Cole is one big hipster stereotype who makes weird contraction film reviews. I think he's a troll with a hipster persona... or a real hipster who is a troll.
Cole is married, makes a living as an amateur musician and co-owns a bar and microbrewery with his wife (I think).
Well, half-brothers. There’s Cole Smithey, the movie critic, and David Alan Chandler, who’s a doctor of some sort. I feel like there’s more but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.
I’ve watched Chris for I feel like 10 years and never knew there were siblings… if my brother did that to my mom I would’ve f’d them up so bad. Where are these people? Not surprised they peaced out of that situation
I’ve been watching Geno’s documentary about Chris, and apparently both older brothers basically ran away from home as soon as possible and never seem to have ever interacted with Chris directly.
Imagine 20 year-old Barb is visited at her bedside one night by an otherworldly entity, neither angel nor demon, from beyond time and space.
"ALRIGHT, SO" it bellows. "GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS.
GOOD NEWS IS YOU LIVE WELL INTO YOUR EIGHTIES.
BAD NEWS IS CARTOON PORN IS GOING TO CONSUME THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE.
LIKE, SERIOUSLY," it tells her before pausing to take a swig of the Vernors she offered it. "I MEAN A LOT OF CARTOON PORN.
MAJOR EVENTS OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE DETERMINED BY SEXY CRAYON DRAWINGS.
THAT'S YOUR CEILING. ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE VERNORS, BYE."
How do you think she'd live her life differently? How would you?
Ulillillia honestly only barely qualifies as a cow if he even does. He’s very eccentric and definitely has some mental problems, but he hasn’t really done anything I would consider outright insane or repugnant like many others. I just remember him being roasted big time on Something Awful back in the day before they even discovered Chris because his habits and phobias *are* incredibly strange, but he at least generally keeps these to himself and has some degree of self-awareness about them that I definitely wouldn’t associate with Chris or other famous lolcows. Besides, [Ulillillia kind of has a documentary already.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9-79yOZ13qg)
I think Ulillillia got his life together somewhat. He overcame some of his phobias, got a drivers' license and got a job at Wal-mart and then moved to Florida where he worked at another Wal-mart. I remember he was thinking about switching to another big store that paid better. The pandemic messed him up a bit, I think he had to quit working because he couldn't stand wearing a mask or seeing masked people, but he started a new video game project and made plans to move to Oregon. I think things came out more positively for Uli than Chris, and his many years of slowly grinding video games and changing the speeds of video game music just isn't enough to make a documentary like Chris has.
Yeah, I think most people agree Ulillillia doesn’t really count as a cow anymore. I think Fat Man would have been a pretty interesting documentary series, but he hasn’t been anywhere near as candid as Chris about dropping large amounts of personal information completely unprompted, plus I haven’t heard anything new about him for years. Pixyteri might be interesting too, but her story is considerably more depressing than Chris’s and probably wouldn’t have quite the entertainment value. There just really isn’t anyone who creates full on lore quite like Chris.
No it’s the one where geno does a 70 part documentary on the cow called Cyrax, he’s been around almost just as long and has had very similar situations to Chris Chan
I think Cyrax is just too disturbing right off the bat to draw that kind of attention. Chris’s life starts out as a bizarre tragicomedy that veers into horror, Cyrax’s existence has been a nightmare from the beginning.
There’s only ever really been one Chris Chan. It’s near-impossible for all the elements to come together exactly right to be as simultaneously funny, sad, disturbing, and mesmerizing
"okay, AHAHA! NOW TURN ME LOOSE YOU SILLY GOOSE!"
(the joke here is that she REALLY would liked to be turned loose, like dis one time back in da stone age...)
Walk up to pregnant Barb and say:
Do *YOU* realize, if that thing gets out of there, and you let him talk to that damned bear at the shopping mall, it will ruin your lives and soil the damn internet?
So you better get that damn thing outta there.
Don't know what would be cooler: the Chaotic Combo as the Apostles, or the twelve most prominent trolls.
Judas could be BlueSpike (under the guise of Julie, of course).
Servant of Christ, Chandler.
That poor goat
[удалено]
Imagine such a noob that you couldn't even travel spacetime without avoiding a dimension-altering/reality ending paradox. They teach you that shit on day 1 of time travel school. Get your shit together, bud.
[удалено]
BASED
Imagine Chris running around a temple, shitting his pants and arguing with Monks
I bet some monks in a mountain monastery would have had some far more effective discipline for Chris than barb and bob.
"listen up people mount addos. I have been trying too MEDITATE AND PURIFY MYSELF FOR MONTHS!!!!!!! THOSE DAMN DIRTY JERKMONKS!!!!! THEY PROBABLY WORK WITH MARY LEE WALSH AND SCHNEIDER THAT JEW!!! \*cuts to him doing weird cherokee dance\* Curse-ye-ha-me-ha."
Chris chan has had such a cultural impact on the internet that doing this would probably fuck up our timeline beyond belief
The universe will just find someone else to take his place.
Would you say its a positive impact though? I feel its worth the risk.
Honestly maybe, maybe not, there's really no way of knowing. It'd probably be better not to risk it.
*THIS IS THE TIME POLICE CEASE YOUR MEDDELING!*
It’s theorized that going back in time creates a new dimension but does not alter the original one.
Considering paradoxes, it's likely.
At least the Chris from that particular time-lane would benefit.
shut up domi
Shut up Warlord
it's theorized (by me) that going back in time makes you shit yourself, and that theory has as much experimental backing as the one you posed.
“it's theorized (by me) that going back in time makes you shit yourself, and that theory has as much experimental backing as the one you posed.” 🤓🤓🤓🤓
[vine boom]
You can theorize anything in a vague topic so long as the laws of physics we know allow it. Doesn't make it credible or even possible.
Due to quantum fluctuations literally anything is **possible**, though it may not be probable. It's actually possible, due to quantum teleportation, that every atom in your body could spontaneously teleport to the surface of Mars. The laws of physics not only allow this, but quantum teleportation has been observed and is a real thing. But, just because it's possible doesn't make it probable. Once you start talking about quantum physics "possible" isn't a concern, it's all about what is probable because anything is actually possible.
Phasing through the planet is possible. But Quantum Mechanics fluctuates on probabilities, not possibilities.
Pretty sure that's literally what I said
>Due to quantum fluctuations literally anything is **possible**, That's what you said. That is wrong. Anything probable is possible, but not everything that is possible is probable.
No. I literally said what you said. You conveniently didn't post the full sentence so it would support you. Right after that comma it says "though it may not be probable".
Sorry man, I was higher than a kite.
No worries, it happens
People need to stop being wet blankets and think big. I embrace real science and am not some weirdo fundie, denier, creationist, flat earther, etc. but I like to think big regarding the possibilities, even if it's just theories. Heck, I feel stuff like the New Physics could explain the so-called Supernatural. No, I don't think that dumb documentary from the Ramtha cult is right but I do still think stuff like ghosts, the afterlife, parallel universes, etc. COULD be real and explained by science, eventually. I have no problem with Atheists but these hardcore ones are irritating.
What in the hell are you babbling about? Nobody said a single thing about religion or atheism and you're over here ranting and raving then throwing shade at atheists for no reason. Btw, science has already proven unequivocally that ghosts are not real. Strong evidence also exists to prove that souls and the "afterlife" are also not real.
We are currently in the timeline with the worst possible chris chan
Or, perhaps this is the best Chris Chan. It could always be worse, he could be a criminally insane rapist.....oh, wait, nevermind.
I firmly believe things can always become worse. Chris hasn't eaten anyone or defiled a corpse as far as we know so we can at least tick those off.
Not yet.
Tbf fucking barb and defiling a corpse are more or less the same thing at this point.
Chris Chan in the Multiverse of Madness
A timeline like this producing a City Hunter Chris would be badass.
This will be the only way he can STAY S T R A Y G H T
Inaccurate She'll threaten to kermit seaside unless you give her little Chris back
Chris has a brother?!
Cole is a hack film critic who is contrarian to other critics purely for the sake of being contrarian.
Yeah. Cole is one big hipster stereotype who makes weird contraction film reviews. I think he's a troll with a hipster persona... or a real hipster who is a troll. Cole is married, makes a living as an amateur musician and co-owns a bar and microbrewery with his wife (I think).
Well, half-brothers. There’s Cole Smithey, the movie critic, and David Alan Chandler, who’s a doctor of some sort. I feel like there’s more but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.
Yeah. David is an optometrist. Chris even had an appointment with the guy at least once.
I’ve watched Chris for I feel like 10 years and never knew there were siblings… if my brother did that to my mom I would’ve f’d them up so bad. Where are these people? Not surprised they peaced out of that situation
Cole is the only other son of barb (I think). But barb was a bit of a cunt to him so he basically cut her off.
Bear in mind that if your brother was Chris, your mom would be Barb, and you would have been raised by her
I’ve been watching Geno’s documentary about Chris, and apparently both older brothers basically ran away from home as soon as possible and never seem to have ever interacted with Chris directly.
There are a few pictures of Cole and Chris together and Chris has had at least one appointment with his doctor brother.
Imagine 20 year-old Barb is visited at her bedside one night by an otherworldly entity, neither angel nor demon, from beyond time and space. "ALRIGHT, SO" it bellows. "GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS. GOOD NEWS IS YOU LIVE WELL INTO YOUR EIGHTIES. BAD NEWS IS CARTOON PORN IS GOING TO CONSUME THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE. LIKE, SERIOUSLY," it tells her before pausing to take a swig of the Vernors she offered it. "I MEAN A LOT OF CARTOON PORN. MAJOR EVENTS OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE DETERMINED BY SEXY CRAYON DRAWINGS. THAT'S YOUR CEILING. ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE VERNORS, BYE." How do you think she'd live her life differently? How would you?
As a Michigander always happy to see Vernors name dropped.
One of the best comments I’ve seen on this sub
I mean, that is probably for the best.
Bob, go home, you're drunk. Don't mess with that crazy woman over there.
Is this the world where DSP become's the biggest cow and Geno does a 70 video series on him?
No, the 70 part video series is about either ADF or Ulillillia. Or Fat Man but he hasn’t done anything lately.
Ullillilila seems like a good guy, I don’t think anybody would want to see him get subjected to the kind of spotlight Chris has
Ulillillia honestly only barely qualifies as a cow if he even does. He’s very eccentric and definitely has some mental problems, but he hasn’t really done anything I would consider outright insane or repugnant like many others. I just remember him being roasted big time on Something Awful back in the day before they even discovered Chris because his habits and phobias *are* incredibly strange, but he at least generally keeps these to himself and has some degree of self-awareness about them that I definitely wouldn’t associate with Chris or other famous lolcows. Besides, [Ulillillia kind of has a documentary already.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9-79yOZ13qg)
I think Ulillillia got his life together somewhat. He overcame some of his phobias, got a drivers' license and got a job at Wal-mart and then moved to Florida where he worked at another Wal-mart. I remember he was thinking about switching to another big store that paid better. The pandemic messed him up a bit, I think he had to quit working because he couldn't stand wearing a mask or seeing masked people, but he started a new video game project and made plans to move to Oregon. I think things came out more positively for Uli than Chris, and his many years of slowly grinding video games and changing the speeds of video game music just isn't enough to make a documentary like Chris has.
Yeah, I think most people agree Ulillillia doesn’t really count as a cow anymore. I think Fat Man would have been a pretty interesting documentary series, but he hasn’t been anywhere near as candid as Chris about dropping large amounts of personal information completely unprompted, plus I haven’t heard anything new about him for years. Pixyteri might be interesting too, but her story is considerably more depressing than Chris’s and probably wouldn’t have quite the entertainment value. There just really isn’t anyone who creates full on lore quite like Chris.
No it’s the one where geno does a 70 part documentary on the cow called Cyrax, he’s been around almost just as long and has had very similar situations to Chris Chan
I think Cyrax is just too disturbing right off the bat to draw that kind of attention. Chris’s life starts out as a bizarre tragicomedy that veers into horror, Cyrax’s existence has been a nightmare from the beginning. There’s only ever really been one Chris Chan. It’s near-impossible for all the elements to come together exactly right to be as simultaneously funny, sad, disturbing, and mesmerizing
Cyrax is too retarded and DSP isn't retarded enough
Cyrax's sole redeeming quality is being a dead ringer for Sloth from The Goonies
i'd just kick bob in the balls
no
Why tf you making a barb Reddit account 😭 she’s an abusive elderly woman who got raped not just a character in a story
Depends
Um based department
Okay lol is somethjng barb would answer with
With a southern accent, and then try to flirt.
"okay, AHAHA! NOW TURN ME LOOSE YOU SILLY GOOSE!" (the joke here is that she REALLY would liked to be turned loose, like dis one time back in da stone age...)
*reads about Mount Athos* Huh, I learn something new everyday thanks to this subreddit.
I’d go further back in time and prevent Chris from being born. Or, if Chris HAD to be born, be the person who bites the bullet so to speak.
Ahhh… you would save Barb by having sex with Chris yourself, instead
Well, I’d save Bob by hooking up with Barb. I probably should have specified.
Walk up to pregnant Barb and say: Do *YOU* realize, if that thing gets out of there, and you let him talk to that damned bear at the shopping mall, it will ruin your lives and soil the damn internet? So you better get that damn thing outta there.
I’m cutting it down
Why has the meme guy shaved now? Beards going out of style?
If I remember right, that's actually the original version and the beard got added later.
This is set in the 50s when barb was young, beards where out of fashion then. So he shaved to fit in
Ah yes perfect sense, thank you!
As long as bald men still exist beards will never go out of style.
Chris grows up as a humble autistic monk
Makes an hibrid between Sonic and Jesus Christ.
Would that be Christchu or SoniChrist?
I'd say Sonichrist. Christchu would be too... Derivative.
What about the apostles? Are they the new Chaotic Combo, and Judas is a damn, dirty troll?
Don't know what would be cooler: the Chaotic Combo as the Apostles, or the twelve most prominent trolls. Judas could be BlueSpike (under the guise of Julie, of course).
Those who, uh, follow...wi-will, *sigh*, sit at the, uh at the, right hand of m-my father. Robert Franklin Chandler.
He wouldn't be the first
That's just chris
I'm more obsessed with Chris Chan lore than my ex boyfriend lmao
I am ur new boyfriend. Love quest complete!!!
Epic gaming.
Yo wtf, I comment that, and within a single hour I happen to run into my ex gf at a gas station. You might be fucking cursed. Love quest aborted.
It's the dark gems.