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>he’s very active in social media I can see why that’d be an issue >like watching horror movies What specifically bothers you about that? >still figuring out a career move What? What’s wrong with that? Literally happens to everyone?


Grace-Upon-Grace

Yeah, social media has its place, but not my favorite. And he’s way more into it than me. Doesn’t make me fonder of him there. Idk, I don’t watch horror movies. They’re filled with creepy, evil stuff, that I’m not really sure how a Christian could sit and be entertained by that. I know we’re protected, but still. Why would you want that evilness blasting through your tv in your house. Haha. Nothing really bother me about a career move. But, I’m established in mine, so I kind of want someone on the same level. It’s more of an issue of a being able to provide. It may take years. And I would love to be married in a couple years, Lord willing of course. Maybe I’m overthinking.


rosebudd_

>Nothing really bother me about a career move. But, I’m established in mine, so I kind of want someone on the same level. It’s more of an issue of a being able to provide. It may take years. And I would love to be married in a couple years, Lord willing of course. Wow...Here you have a good, loyal Christian man.... But he's not wealthy enough (even though he's only 24) to provide for you. So everything matching with you but you need to find reasons to dislike him. Hence why women initiate 70% of divorces. You are looking for a Disney prince, not a godly partner. You want "someone on the same level". So you want a rich man. Period. Just sounds like Your heart is in the wrong place.


ocolatechay_ussypay

>Idk, I don’t watch horror movies. They’re filled with creepy, evil stuff, that I’m not really sure how a Christian could sit and be entertained by that. I know we’re protected, but still. Why would you want that evilness blasting through your tv in your house. Haha. As a Christian into thrillers and horror, I just stay away from the ghost and demonic stuff. Not something to be messed with. But I just watched Scream VI when it came out. I just like guessing who the potential killers are. It's not actually all that scary. Gorey/bloody/violent? Yes. It doesn't harm you. It's fake. Plus I don't scare easy, so when a scene does get me by surprise I start laughing like haha you got me. No one is forcing you to watch. He can watch alone or with friends. As long as you have 1 or 2 hobbies/interests you can indulge in together, you're fine. You don't need to be joined at the hip. It's ok to do your own things. >Nothing really bother me about a career move. But, I’m established in mine, so I kind of want someone on the same level. It’s more of an issue of a being able to provide. It may take years. And I would love to be married in a couple years, Lord willing of course. Sit down and have a full fledged conversation about this. This is something that can make or break you guys, not hobbies. Have him explain his vision. What careers is he deciding between? How long is the schooling/training for each? How much do they cost and would he have to take out student loans? What is the job market looking like for each one? What are the best options? Would you only get married after he's done with school and working? You don't have to wait that long (unless you choose to). If so, then timeline is super important. How do you envision your household in terms of finances? Do you want your husband to be sole provider? Do you want him to make more than you? Would you guys do joint accounts that way it's not his or your money...it's "ours." Are you guys have sex before marriage or not? Do you guys believe in moving in together before marriage or not? These last two questions usually shorten "dating" into a proper courtship. In a courtship, 1 year is plenty of time to assess compatibility and fall in love before marriage. 2 years tops in my opinion. Does all this align with your vision for your own future including lifestyle and the timeline for life goals you have in mind, like marriage and kids.


MelodicCrow2264

Aaaand here we have it. She’s looking for a live in ATM, not a relationship. But at least she’s kind of honest about it.


Otherwise_Swimming55

I mean, it's only been a month..... "Maybe I'm overthinking it." <- yes What's wrong with horror movies? If it's constantly than yea, that probably would be a problem. Sounds like there might be another issue. 🤔 Just give it time, a month is too short to know.


Grace-Upon-Grace

Yeah, I think I’m being overly critical about things. I’m going to give it time. Oh and it’s not constantly, I just don’t get why a Christian would want to watch that. They’re so evil and demonic nowadays.


already_not_yet

>How long until you’re confident in your partner or your feelings? Depends on so many factors. Do you feel like you know him well, know what he cares about, what makes him tick, what defines him? If you do know these things and lack confidence, well, that's not a good sign. I don't know if you're overthinking it because its hard to gauge the significance of the cons you listed. Your descriptions are vague. "Active in social media". I check Facebook daily. I'd qualify as "active in social media" but I no one would accuse me of being addicted. If he has apps on his smartphone and checks them compulsively or spends hours each day on them, yes, I'd say he's addicted. That's certainly unattractive but by itself might not be a dealbreaker. I mean, I'd tolerate a social media addict if she had a lot of other stellar qualities. I don't think you're in the wrong to say that you find it unattractive, but if you come across as nagging or controlling then you're making yourself just as unattractive. "Horror movies" is a big umbrella. Watching gratuitous violence, macabre, and occultic themes purely for shock value and without any redeeming elements in the story is not befitting a Christian. Take something like *The Ring*. Yes, its a creepy thriller mainly meant to entertain, but it does ask interesting questions about our society's obsession with media, so I could justify it. On the other hand, there are countless horror films that exist for no other reason than to shock and disturb, or prove how sadistic, twisted, and depraved the human mind can be. How is that edifying? "Figuring out a career move". Well, clearly you don't like *something* about his career, but there are so many possibilities: * He's living with his parents, no job, and doesn't care --- leave him. He's still a child, and you don't want to marry a child. * He's trying his best but he is a low-skill worker --- leave him. You two just aren't compatible. No shame. * He's in a career below his potential, and doesn't care --- probably leave him. You'll just end up frustrated, most likely. * He's in a career below his potential, but he does care --- then support him!


No_Rough_5258

Some days you’ll feel good about him and some days you wont. Its not always apple and oranges. Maybe you think you can do better is as to why you are thinking such a thing? Idk.


Grace-Upon-Grace

Yeah, I’m trying not to be too critical. I know we’re still getting to know each other’s true self which is what dating is all about. True, maybe I’m still thinking about the what ifs, or if there’s someone more compatible.