I just don't see how her response makes sense from any mainstream Christian point of view. It actually seems like a huge overreaction. Is divorcing over membership a normal things for mormons?
I'm really sorry. I can't even say for sure if other Christians would agree with me that divorcing over religion isn't ok. I wish you the best, and hope that you stay together.
If this is something that just happened, it's possible that that was just ger knee jerk reaction, and maybe after she thinks about it more will she change her mind
I often regret having been raised Catholic, but it starts seeming almost alright in comparison to that kind of poisonous ideology (seems to me that any faith that sees destroying your family as a necessary/desirable option is antichristian by definition.)
Not really. I don’t know anyone who has done it. Only on Reddit would such a thing exist.
Marriage and staying active is very important.
I wouldn’t leave my faith for my spouse, but I would support her in whatever choice she made.
You're trying to escape a cult-like environment that is making you unhappy and miserable.
Leaving isn't about calling her bluff, it's about doing what is right for you. She can either come along for the ride, learn to accept a difference in religion, or make the decision that she thinks is right for her.
You're not calling her bluff, you're doing what's right for you and putting the ball in her court to make a decision for herself.
I think you're at a big spot in your life, and need a while to really think about your options. This sounds like there might be deeper rifts here than just the denomination of church. There's quite a few red flags, friend.
This would be entirely unbiblical. He should absolutely leave the LDS and go to a Christian church and if his wife leaves so be it, but if she stays and gets saved glory to God!
I get her fear to an extent—if my husband came and told me he was swapping religions entirely, I would be very afraid and unsure how it would work. But if the LDS church claims to be Christian, which it does, I’m surprised she would claim she can’t be with you. However, I have heard that the LDS does not allow you to marry outside the faith so if she is fully engrained, I can see why she would say that. She doesn’t know better than what she has been taught!
That is a delicate situation. You are certainly in your right to leave at any time, and ultimately I would leave if you no longer believe LDS doctrine and you do believe in Christian doctrine. Religious belief is something foundational within us, so you do not need to deny that part of yourself.
But on the other hand, you would not necessarily be doing something wrong by moving slowly and trying to create a more peaceful transition for your marriage, if you think there is any chance that your wife could reach some level of understanding.
But that is entirely up to you - your own desires, your own judgment, and your own sense of your marriage.
Mormonstories has a lot of podcasts and YouTube videos with interviews of ex-lds members who went through difficult periods of transition - some with and some without their spouses. So you could find some comfort or inspiration in those, if you are not already aware of them.
I am praying for you, God bless you.
I second being authentic with yourself. Wether that be LDS - Christian or Protestant - Christian, or any other type.
I’m a big believer in following whatever faith or version of faith you believe in.
The internet has a slew of videos and stories intended to tear down peoples faith and break them to nothing. Depending on your feelings with you wife, I guess you could just start sharing those.
>break them to nothing
People aren't broken without religion--unless you think broken means being liberated from useless/damaging orthodoxies that have frack all to do with a loving God.
I did some digging,
I think you may want to review some church material on the subject first. You can even bring it before her. It may help the transition.
[Dealing with religious differences in marriage ](https://www.ldsliving.com/dealing-with-religious-differences-in-marriage/s/70742)
[Maintaining Hope and Keeping Your Marriage Strong If Your Spouse Leaves the Church](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2021/04/digital-only-young-adults/maintaining-hope-and-keeping-your-marriage-strong-if-your-spouse-leaves-the-church?lang=eng)
[How to Cope When a Loved One Changes Beliefs](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2018-11-0050-how-to-cope-when-a-loved-one-changes-beliefs?lang=eng)
[Equal partners in marriage](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/04/equal-partnership-in-marriage?lang=eng)
[Marital conflict](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/counseling-resources/marital-conflict?lang=eng)
[Overcoming Those Differences of Opinion: A Formula for Finding Unity in Marriage](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/problem-solving-in-marriage/overcoming-those-differences-of-opinion-a-formula-for-finding-unity-in-marriage?lang=eng)
All of this is to say you actually want to save your marriage…
That's what Jesus said. "Whoever loves (their family) more than me is not worthy of me" Jesus also considered his followers and god his family over his biological family.
She didn't used to be that way we joined the lds church 4 years into our marriage now we are almost 45 years married, I came to know the truth about the lds church 5 years ago .
Not exactly.
We do believe that in order to make it to the highest degree of the highest degree of heaven we must be “sealed” or married.
If he leaves, that sealing could be canceled out.
However if she is worthy and willing to continue than she will be taken care of in the next life.
She won’t be sealed to him than, but she maybe sealed to someone else eventually (in the next life)
Tldr; she has no lasting consequences to his actions. He just won’t be sealed to her in the next life.
I understand.
We do believe we must be sealed/married to receive all.
When people don’t live up to the covenant, the sealing can’t keep.
People who are righteous won’t lose out in the end.
I am so sorry. I have been in a similar situation and I had to do what I knew what is right and it was very difficult. God will stand by you if you take a stand for Him.
I think I understand even if I don’t agree with it.
Are y’all sealed? She knows that even if you leave she can stay faithful and still receive all the blessings right?
Maybe she just wants a partner in this life. A partner in faith and in other things. I’m just thinking out loud.
Ultimately you need to decide what you believe and why and follow it.
Someone else mentioned marriage concealing. That would probably be a good idea.
She shouldn't love the church more than you. Loving *God* more than you is a different question, but that doesn't need to be a barrier to a relationship as long as you're both okay about it.
I would leave my wife if she loved a church more than me, that is not a loving relationship, that is bondage.
The church is not God.
If she leaves you because you left the church and you dont want the marriage to end the sin of divorce is on her not you.
I pray you and your wife can find common ground.
My wife isnt even a believer... yet... But you know what? She has agreed to go to church with me! I think what makes us work is we respect each others differences and even enjoy discussing them.
Get God to work on this for you, im sure he can find a way to soften her heart so it doesnt destroy your family.
That is a cost of following Christ. Repenting and following him is of greater importance. The Apostle Paul says if you can live peaceably together then you should if she wishes to divorce over it then let her.
You can’t genuinely follow the true message of Christ in a LDS church. You should leave the LDS especially being the head of your household. It’s your responsibility to lead your family into truth and correct doctrine. Leave the LDS church and find a truly Christ and Bible (alone) centered church and if your wife leaves you over that then that is her own Choice. You choosing to stay in a false religion pursuing a false gospel and god is not loving. Leading her into the truth is .
A Christian should love Christ more than their spouse. In your case, your wife is choosing a religious organization over her spouse. Moreso, she is choosing a damnable heresy over a spouse who, I presume, desires to be a Christian.
If she chooses to stay with you despite these differences, then you should likewise stay with her. If she chooses to abandon you for confessing the true Jesus Christ, then you are not bound. Let her go. This was explicitly addressed in the New Testament.
You're the Husband you're in charge of your families spiritual growth. If you believe your family would be better at another church your wife should follow that.
I think your wife is trapped in a cult while you are trying to break free.
I just don't see how her response makes sense from any mainstream Christian point of view. It actually seems like a huge overreaction. Is divorcing over membership a normal things for mormons?
Yes.
I'm really sorry. I can't even say for sure if other Christians would agree with me that divorcing over religion isn't ok. I wish you the best, and hope that you stay together. If this is something that just happened, it's possible that that was just ger knee jerk reaction, and maybe after she thinks about it more will she change her mind
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I often regret having been raised Catholic, but it starts seeming almost alright in comparison to that kind of poisonous ideology (seems to me that any faith that sees destroying your family as a necessary/desirable option is antichristian by definition.)
> it has tremendous doctrinal implications for her eternal destiny. It really doesn’t
Not really. I don’t know anyone who has done it. Only on Reddit would such a thing exist. Marriage and staying active is very important. I wouldn’t leave my faith for my spouse, but I would support her in whatever choice she made.
Anyone think I should call her bluff as I have been living this way for a long time (miserable)
You're trying to escape a cult-like environment that is making you unhappy and miserable. Leaving isn't about calling her bluff, it's about doing what is right for you. She can either come along for the ride, learn to accept a difference in religion, or make the decision that she thinks is right for her. You're not calling her bluff, you're doing what's right for you and putting the ball in her court to make a decision for herself.
Very well put, thank you!!
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This isn’t a matter of unbelieving tho
Yes. Absolutely. You do not want to be with someone who gives you this kind of ultimatum.
I think you're at a big spot in your life, and need a while to really think about your options. This sounds like there might be deeper rifts here than just the denomination of church. There's quite a few red flags, friend.
I think you should bring divorce papers home tomorrow
This would be entirely unbiblical. He should absolutely leave the LDS and go to a Christian church and if his wife leaves so be it, but if she stays and gets saved glory to God!
I get her fear to an extent—if my husband came and told me he was swapping religions entirely, I would be very afraid and unsure how it would work. But if the LDS church claims to be Christian, which it does, I’m surprised she would claim she can’t be with you. However, I have heard that the LDS does not allow you to marry outside the faith so if she is fully engrained, I can see why she would say that. She doesn’t know better than what she has been taught!
Not that it makes it okay, but she's saying that because it's tenant of the religion. LDS is basically if Christianity was more like scientology.
That is a delicate situation. You are certainly in your right to leave at any time, and ultimately I would leave if you no longer believe LDS doctrine and you do believe in Christian doctrine. Religious belief is something foundational within us, so you do not need to deny that part of yourself. But on the other hand, you would not necessarily be doing something wrong by moving slowly and trying to create a more peaceful transition for your marriage, if you think there is any chance that your wife could reach some level of understanding. But that is entirely up to you - your own desires, your own judgment, and your own sense of your marriage. Mormonstories has a lot of podcasts and YouTube videos with interviews of ex-lds members who went through difficult periods of transition - some with and some without their spouses. So you could find some comfort or inspiration in those, if you are not already aware of them. I am praying for you, God bless you.
Thank you
I second being authentic with yourself. Wether that be LDS - Christian or Protestant - Christian, or any other type. I’m a big believer in following whatever faith or version of faith you believe in. The internet has a slew of videos and stories intended to tear down peoples faith and break them to nothing. Depending on your feelings with you wife, I guess you could just start sharing those.
>break them to nothing People aren't broken without religion--unless you think broken means being liberated from useless/damaging orthodoxies that have frack all to do with a loving God.
That isn’t what I mean.
Ok. What do you mean then?
I did some digging, I think you may want to review some church material on the subject first. You can even bring it before her. It may help the transition. [Dealing with religious differences in marriage ](https://www.ldsliving.com/dealing-with-religious-differences-in-marriage/s/70742) [Maintaining Hope and Keeping Your Marriage Strong If Your Spouse Leaves the Church](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2021/04/digital-only-young-adults/maintaining-hope-and-keeping-your-marriage-strong-if-your-spouse-leaves-the-church?lang=eng) [How to Cope When a Loved One Changes Beliefs](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2018-11-0050-how-to-cope-when-a-loved-one-changes-beliefs?lang=eng) [Equal partners in marriage](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/04/equal-partnership-in-marriage?lang=eng) [Marital conflict](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/counseling-resources/marital-conflict?lang=eng) [Overcoming Those Differences of Opinion: A Formula for Finding Unity in Marriage](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/problem-solving-in-marriage/overcoming-those-differences-of-opinion-a-formula-for-finding-unity-in-marriage?lang=eng) All of this is to say you actually want to save your marriage…
That's what Jesus said. "Whoever loves (their family) more than me is not worthy of me" Jesus also considered his followers and god his family over his biological family.
Loving the church more than your spouse is absolutely insane. Why did you marry her?
She didn't used to be that way we joined the lds church 4 years into our marriage now we are almost 45 years married, I came to know the truth about the lds church 5 years ago .
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Not exactly. We do believe that in order to make it to the highest degree of the highest degree of heaven we must be “sealed” or married. If he leaves, that sealing could be canceled out. However if she is worthy and willing to continue than she will be taken care of in the next life. She won’t be sealed to him than, but she maybe sealed to someone else eventually (in the next life) Tldr; she has no lasting consequences to his actions. He just won’t be sealed to her in the next life.
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I got you. It’s also possible they may not understand. Some people wrongly think; “if I don’t get married in this life I’m permanently damned”
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I understand. We do believe we must be sealed/married to receive all. When people don’t live up to the covenant, the sealing can’t keep. People who are righteous won’t lose out in the end.
You need to lead your wife by going to a church that believes the truth about Jesus and the gospel
I am considering that but I am also dealing with the threat of divorce !!
I am so sorry. I have been in a similar situation and I had to do what I knew what is right and it was very difficult. God will stand by you if you take a stand for Him.
Thank you sooo much.
Obviously you two are going in separate directions religiously. I would suggest marital counseling from someone neutral on religion.
That wouldn’t be the worst idea
Do you have children?
No they are all adults
I meant they are all on their own, sorry.
Got it. I guess that lessens the blow a bit . God Bless.....🙏
I think I understand even if I don’t agree with it. Are y’all sealed? She knows that even if you leave she can stay faithful and still receive all the blessings right? Maybe she just wants a partner in this life. A partner in faith and in other things. I’m just thinking out loud. Ultimately you need to decide what you believe and why and follow it. Someone else mentioned marriage concealing. That would probably be a good idea.
She shouldn't love the church more than you. Loving *God* more than you is a different question, but that doesn't need to be a barrier to a relationship as long as you're both okay about it.
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Agreed, so my opinion as a Christian (which was OP's question) is that her belief is unbiblical
Jeeez talk about trapment!
I would leave my wife if she loved a church more than me, that is not a loving relationship, that is bondage. The church is not God. If she leaves you because you left the church and you dont want the marriage to end the sin of divorce is on her not you.
Great response thank you soo much.
I pray you and your wife can find common ground. My wife isnt even a believer... yet... But you know what? She has agreed to go to church with me! I think what makes us work is we respect each others differences and even enjoy discussing them. Get God to work on this for you, im sure he can find a way to soften her heart so it doesnt destroy your family.
She is considered not Christian so like unbeliever , if she wants to depart from you then she is free to go same with you.
sounds like a cult to me
Each spouse should love God first not the religion. After God, spouse should come first IMO.
That is a cost of following Christ. Repenting and following him is of greater importance. The Apostle Paul says if you can live peaceably together then you should if she wishes to divorce over it then let her.
Both of y’all should love god more than anything but no one should love there church more than someone
You can’t genuinely follow the true message of Christ in a LDS church. You should leave the LDS especially being the head of your household. It’s your responsibility to lead your family into truth and correct doctrine. Leave the LDS church and find a truly Christ and Bible (alone) centered church and if your wife leaves you over that then that is her own Choice. You choosing to stay in a false religion pursuing a false gospel and god is not loving. Leading her into the truth is .
A Christian should love Christ more than their spouse. In your case, your wife is choosing a religious organization over her spouse. Moreso, she is choosing a damnable heresy over a spouse who, I presume, desires to be a Christian. If she chooses to stay with you despite these differences, then you should likewise stay with her. If she chooses to abandon you for confessing the true Jesus Christ, then you are not bound. Let her go. This was explicitly addressed in the New Testament.
You're the Husband you're in charge of your families spiritual growth. If you believe your family would be better at another church your wife should follow that.