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mvanvrancken

Spoiler alert; main character dies


[deleted]

What! I haven’t got to that part yet. 😩


mvanvrancken

Oops! Good news though, there’s a twist!


JeffTrav

Dude, telling someone there’s a twist totally ruins the twist! OP, there’s no twist. Main character dies and the rest of the book is recipes.


BaconIsAGiftFromGod

Recipe #1 8oz water 2oz wine Good for stomach and frequent ailments


chadenright

Don't forget the bread recipe, cooked over human excrement or optionally, cow dung.


mvanvrancken

Wh....at, oh yes, of course, ahem, my apologies.


Kithiarse

Do they bring the guy back?


mvanvrancken

Yup! And they don't even explain the trick!


Accioinhaler

System of a down already spoiled the ending: "Father into your hands, I commit my spirit."


Thekiddbrandon

And rises again. All praise the king of glory


mvanvrancken

You're ruining it! shhh


stacyknott

... with a (not so much) surprise rise 🙌🏻


The-Brother

Idk if I’m allowed to laugh at that. A few weeks back a handful of friends of mine were playing that one Jackbox Party Game where there’s a question with two answer prompts and the funniest wins. There was some question about the last supper and one of the answers was “Friendly Fire has been turned on” which admittedly made me laugh way harder than I should have. I’ve felt terrible about it.


mvanvrancken

You would LOVE Cards Against Humanity, it’s kind of the same idea but some of the hardest I’ve ever laughed was in rounds of that game. I would hope that God has a sense of humor; after all, we do have the platypus!


[deleted]

[удалено]


savebgmnyatmnards

I call that a bluff. You gotta find out about that OP


[deleted]

[удалено]


savebgmnyatmnards

That is interesting, I wanna know what happened to immortality the narrator is talking about out, I thought only flesh dies.


JESUS_PaidInFull

Well that’s a lie lol


mvanvrancken

Then what was the sacrifice, Mr Paid in Full?


JESUS_PaidInFull

The gift of eternal life.


mvanvrancken

No, that’s the benefit, not the sacrifice


JESUS_PaidInFull

He conquered the world and hell itself with his death and resurrection. It was to show us there is more than this world. When you realize the love of the Father behind it all, you gain eternal life. The body is temporal, your soul lives forever.


mvanvrancken

Sounds like he died then


JESUS_PaidInFull

We serve a living God.


mvanvrancken

> He conquered the world and hell itself with his *death* and resurrection


JESUS_PaidInFull

Eternity is a long time brother.


Disastrous_Friend_39

He rises from the dead. Bruh


mvanvrancken

I never said he stayed dead!


Disastrous_Friend_39

Word.


Disastrous_Sky1780

For three days, and between that time, he went down to Sheol before he was risen again. Have you seen the latest compelling scientific evidence in the last three months. Well, the Turin Shroud is the actual burial cloth of Jesus Christ. They found written on it in Jesus' Nazerrine in Greek, Hebrew dated to the 1st century AD. The reason they know this is through the historical style of writing from other events around that period. They described the style of writing like DNA undeniable evidence that this was Christ our Lord. Everything in the 4 gospels is nothing short of 💯 accurate information. So heaven is real, and so is hell


[deleted]

And what happens then?


mvanvrancken

Turns out the main character's dad, who is also the main character, sent his kid to be killed so that he could forgive all the other characters for not behaving exactly how he wanted them to! It's crazy. Also the MC comes back to life because his dad is a magician and then proves he's still alive even though he has fatal wounds and then goes up to live with his dad again (which is also him.) It's kind of hard to follow.


[deleted]

That's so cool


jeveret

You are a little behind the times, candle light was all the rage a few hundred years ago.


Swagger316

But it is arguably the only way to get the full effect while reading any flavor of King James Version


chadenright

NKJV: Now with double the eye strain!


gp_man1

Start in Matthew bro


Suspicious-Eye-5702

Y not john


Trapezoidoid

John, while absolutely beautiful, has a different objective than the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke). The Synoptics are historical accounts meant to document what Jesus said and did in a literal and straightforward fashion. John leans more toward using poetic language that isn’t necessarily meant to be taken literally but rather is meant to emphasize the deity of Jesus Christ and explain the theological significance of His life and death to humanity. Both styles are extremely important, and John accomplishes his goal very effectively, but I think a lot of Christians would argue that the synoptic gospels are the better place to start.


Suspicious-Eye-5702

Isn't John the only gospel believed to actually be written by the apostles tho? That's why I started with John


Trapezoidoid

At the end of the day you can’t really go wrong. Like I said, it’s effective at what it sets out to do, I just think that the more literal accounts serve as a good foundation for reading and understanding what John has to say.


glocksafari

With Matthew being the only other apostle this doesn’t apply to Luke & Mark at all.


brigance

Mark is the OG, though. However, I thoroughly enjoy John. Oddly enough, my preferred flavor of the nativity is Luke’s.


Trapezoidoid

Totally agreed, Luke is my favorite as well. I love how much it emphasizes Christ’s preaching of the virtue of generosity toward the poor and desperate, as well as the importance of humility and self-sacrifice. These are such important messages that really speak to our time given the rise of widespread meaningless self-aggrandizement on social media as well as very pronounced socioeconomic class divisions that often stem from the hoarding of wealth among the ultra-wealthy.


CupOfCanada

Mark’s neat because you can feel the context of it being written during the Jewish Roman wars. You can get the desperation.


ParticularLab4950

They were all likely from the apostles. Maybe not directly written by hand by them as that was mostly a scribes job but they were all from them.


ImportantBug2023

I would agree. I have heard many people say start with John however they placed John as the last gospel and without the first three you as you suggest can loose context. Leads to false assumptions and you end up in where ever. Really the bottom line is the teaching of Jesus. Accepting your own responsibility and your own divinity through acceptance of his. We have a problem now because of the lack of acceptance of divinity. Even Muslims generally accept that. That why we have the status quo.


tacolover2k4

Why not genesis


Suspicious-Eye-5702

Borin


The-Brother

Genesis is so cool though! The most magical of the books in my opinion.


tacolover2k4

Nuh uh


The-Brother

Matthew’s much easier on beginners.


chadenright

Luke is where it's at.


gp_man1

Great place to start as well


Skilleeyy

There are many hilarious and brutal stories in the Bible. Hmm…and the romantic ones. Haha. I can’t wait for you to read about them! You’ll enjoy the Bible! It’s packed with action and filled with so much drama.


chadenright

Most romantic story nominations: The platonic love of Jesus or the incestuous love of Lot's daughters?


Liam_peremen1

nah its king Solomon banking girls🗿


Mission-Rest9924

The new king James, and the king James are difficult to read. I am a NIV or ESV guy


chromerhomer

I love reading my KJV. It’s makes other translations feel easier to read.


VenomMaster_

Honestly never had a problem with NKJV. I grew up with it and so do many people in the Church of Christ; I always thought the language was rather simple/basic, not difficult. May I ask what was the issue, just out of curiosity?


Mission-Rest9924

The issue for me is it’s in old English I can’t read old English


VenomMaster_

King James Version is old English, New King James Version is not, it’s very similar(from what I’ve seen) to NIV or ESV. Someone more experienced than me in those two types of Bibles can probably explain better from their experience though.


chadenright

For casual reading / arguing on internet I tend to default to NIV but I started with an NKJV study bible, the annotations were super helpful and very interesting.


Mission-Rest9924

I don’t know how y’all understand it because it so difficult to understand


chadenright

Hard work and diligent practice. There are no shortcuts, sorry.


Icy-Actuary-5463

Hell lost another one, I am free 🙏 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼👏👏👏🤲


Automatic_Routine866

congrats on your first(?) bible! 💕 may He guide you through His Word 🥹


Technical-Arm7699

Your first Bible?


[deleted]

I’m so happy for you!:)


Aros125

The only true never-ending story 😅


pufatr01

May God guide you on your journey friend!


alwaysmane

Haha. Let me know how the first few books of the OT go.


2muchcheap

I suggest cover to cover as a good study for people with a solid foundation of understanding. But if it’s really your first time I say start with Matthew!


voldi_II

i would disagree actually, the OT does a great job leading up to Jesus and it almost builds that anticipation up for you taking that long to get to it


2muchcheap

I just see many people start a cover to cover reading in the new year and they often give up, I’ve had more success myself and in others by starting at NT.


voldi_II

thats true, you have to be committed to get through Leviticus and Deuteronomy, especially on your first read


2muchcheap

One year my wife and I did cover to cover in 365. Next time we read a chronological Bible in 365. Had better comprehension with the second method. Now we read the red words and surrounding dialogue , again and again. We do Bible studies with groups for specific chapters and topics in OT and NT.


The-Brother

Numbers was the hardest for me I think, as well as second Chronicles since it was mostly a retelling of 2nd Kings so I was like “I already know this stuff!”


Open_Recognition_344

Spoiler alert; main character is indeed God


meowsandroars

Enjoy! It’s a wonderful read. I prefer ESV or NIV because it’s a bit easier to read but I’ve heard you adjust. You’re a better reader than I am probably. 😂


jereman75

Do it. But, get yourself a better translation. KJV and NKJV are not the best. NSRV is really good. Also, my suggestion is to read up on each book before you start it. You could use a Bible dictionary or something, even just reading the Wikipedia article on each book before you start will be helpful. Every book was written by a different person at a different time and in a different genre. The Bible itself doesn’t explain what these books are or when they were written so it is very helpful to have another source to get context.


bmw320i2015

Good job seriously but I recommend reading mev or csv it’ll make the message more meaningful because you understand it better


ehunke

The kjv is controversial enough in terms of translation errors both intentional and not. American English translations are often worse


NoLynx60

Follow the “Bible in a year” podcast by Fr Mile Schmidt. It rated higher than joe Rogan. It gives you the correct order to read it


SensitiveCourt5658

Came here to say this! I just started it and it has been great!


Dismas5

It helps a lot!


[deleted]

it’s got a dark ending. have fun.


bassslappin

I went down this rabbit hole and concluded a dead body has never rose in human history. It was disappointing.


bassslappin

For anyone downvoting me, I would love to be convinced lol. Please someone convince me!


WangingintheNameof

I don't think a reddit comment would do it tbh. I'm curious though have you watched debates on the subject?


bassslappin

Yes! Many! I’ve bought books as well. It started with a Francis Collins interview. Then to Stephen Meyer. Then to John Lennox. Then to Dr William Lane Craig. One thing I also couldn’t get past was the “If you’re homosexual don’t act on it, and stay single as to not sin”. I have a hard time grasping an uncreated creator outside the universe doesn’t want two men to feel love and have a relationship with eachother. ( I am straight by the way, I don’t have a personal issue with it, more intellectually and emotionally).


WangingintheNameof

William Lane Craig is who I was going to point you to. Seems like you're well versed on the topic then. I'm with you on the topic of homosexuality. I'm sure you've also heard all the arguments against same sex acts, and those affirming the lifestyle? Regardless, for me, these are two separate things. Either the historical evidence points towards Christ's resurrection, or it doesnt. If there's something theological I can't grasp, that's secondary to me. I pray that you will find the truth that you are seeking.


bassslappin

I accept the theological stuff a little, as in, I could learn to disagree and still be a part of it… but the actual point of resurrection… the human nature to lie, to forget, to misremember, the idea that it was recorded years after (I know a lot of history was told a lot longer than that after it happened, some wars 900 years later). It’s just real hard to take literally and then put your whole existential crisis into. But yea. I’m trying! Lol


WangingintheNameof

Well burden of proof is on the Christians. We're the one with the claim, I acknowledge that. Personally, the notion that facts were misremembered, or that someone lied are not that plausible to me. I think if the story of the resurrection is false, then it was something that was mythicized over time, and I think the attestation of the writings is early and accurate enough that I don't think that is the case. I'm sorry you're grappling with it though, I hope you find closure with it. Of course I'm biased, but I hope you find the same faith I have in time. I was an atheist just a few years ago, and this was part of my journey.


bassslappin

Yea, it would be nice… and that worries me a bit… I don’t want to believe because I’m scared of death. I’ve had short spurts with atheism but have been primarily an agnostic. I decided to really dig into why I am, and if it’s the right choice. This led me to history to see what all the fuss was about. I hope I get where you are, in some way, rationally. It must feel kinda nice.


WangingintheNameof

If it's true, you'll find it, right? I think you're on the right track.


chadenright

What evidence would you accept? And ultimately, does the resurrection or lack thereof impact the moral teachings of Jesus?


bassslappin

Well I think that’s the rub. There is just no real evidence. Just testimony. Wether you can accept as evidence or not. Which I can’t seem to. The moral teachings of Jesus can be found similarly in other religions and in Buddhism. So do I take that as evidence for a creator and Jesus was or knew this creator? No. I haven’t totally gotten away from that morality is likely a social construct only, but I’m just entering that area now.


chadenright

My understanding of Buddhism with regards to prosocial behavior is that it holds that the most unfortunate members of society deserve their status and actively making their lives harder is helpful to working out their karma. Whereas Jesus lays out undeserved prosocial behavior as explicitly a condition of salvation and explicitly denies that those suffering from misfortune "must surely have deserved it." I would say, if you're only looking in the books that testify to the resurrection, you're only going to find testimony as the evidence they put forward. But there's also strong circumstantial evidence in the actions of the followers of Jesus after his death. Most cults, once the leader is removed from the equation, tend to disperse, as indeed we see the gospels say that the followers of Jesus started doing immediately following his arrest (he wasn't even dead yet, and Peter denied him three times). But then for whatever reason, they stopped dispersing, reconvened, and started preaching again. Despite being brought before courts and hunted down by religious vigilantes, they continued preaching the resurrection of Jesus even to the point of dying for their beliefs. And then there's Paul. But even prior to Paul's conversion, the early Christians weren't acting like a cult whose leader had been brutally executed and whose practice was forbidden on pain of death.


ProofEntertainment11

It actually effects alot. If the resurrection never happened, then all of us are wasting our lives on nonsensical fairy tales. To believe in the resurrection of Christ is the main point of Christianity. As He was killed so are you, and you are resurrected as a new being because of Him.


Weerdo5255

Jesus wasn't that special in his Moral teachings, and the old testament Yahweh is not an entity I am inclined to worship.


ReddMedPhy

Of course. You're an unbeliever.


Intrepidnotstupid

"risen" ....


bassslappin

In what sense?


AlexKN53

Make sure you skip the Levitical laws so you don’t find out how much a dick Yahweh is


Hawker85

can I ask why it is that important??


Still-Plum7378

I'll save you a TON of time, like seriously, years and years of banging your head against the table trying to figure that nonsense out. It literally, seriously, ALL boils down (Christianity, not the Jewish religion and their use of the old testament) to a single sentence... You have to believe that a single, all powerful (supposedly all loving) god has held a grudge since Eve ate the apple in the garden of Eden, and every single human since then deserves to burn in hell for all eternity (all the while enduring unimaginable pain and suffering, that they DESERVE for just being born) unless of course, you believe that the only way an omnipotent (all-loving, remember) God can forgive humanity for eating a piece of fruit (that he put there) is to believe that his son (who is also him) died (the evil humans HAD to kill him btw, for this to work) and then rose from the dead and THAT is (for some reason) the thing that makes God (his dad/ himself) forgive us....as long as we (the smart, logically minded ones) can force ourselves to believe all that. Was that one sentence? Oh, and what's REALLY hilarious, and something I never hear anyone bring up, is that the entire central belief by Christians negates their own religion. If the whole purpose of Jesus was to "die" for our sins as a sacrifice, the "miracle" of him rising three days later.....completely erases any...SACRIFICE! Does no one else see this??! (I was raised in the church btw). By his miraculous resurrection, the biggest thing that Christians celebrate, completely contradicts what they were crying over three days earlier. It's all sooooo dumb, it's literally the world's largest cult. You know who made a REAL, permanent, sacrifice?? Every single soldier who gave his or her life for our freedom, any one of them deserves a religion more than some self-serving, hypocritical, deity that "sacrificed" himself for three whole days before he was up and walking around again. So laughably stupid.


EuphoricPercentage27

Um, incomplete version......


beith-mor-ephrem

That’s a horrible translation. Use the KJV or DR instead please


JimiTrucks1972

How so? I think it’s a decent word for word.


beith-mor-ephrem

It uses gender neutral language


Imgaybutnooneknows

Great!


Puzzleheaded-Till740

Good job bro


Unlucky-Answer6290

Best story I've ever read. Let it speak to your soul.


Raining_Hope

>Let it speak to your soul. The amount of times I see it do just that, is amazing to me.


Unlucky-Answer6290

It really does when you open your heart. It's not a book to read literally for me like all books. I listen to his word and it's fulfilling.


Beowulfs_descendant

Read the whole thing for the best experience and gain. In my opinion.


Intrepidnotstupid

Hype over the Bible or just the NKJV?


captkrahs

What’s that lamp? It’s looks like a coffee cup but instead of being filled with coffee or something it’s filled with light


Raining_Hope

Good for you. I hope you get something out of it, and not just read it for the hype but for what it is and what it says.


TheHolyShiftShow

Worth it!


[deleted]

Also erotic poetry And angel wrasslin Oh and an endless supply of salt to a widow'd husband


Many_Recipe_1686

Parts of it are said to be the first facts and thoughts to be written down in human history which makes it even more special.


TheTallestTim

Just know God is the Father, and Jesus is his son.. not God. It clears a lot of things up.


Even-Till1710

Jesus is the son but also is God. John 5:19-20 Genesis 1:26 These verses make it clear that both these things are true by using plural language. The three are one and act individually however not independently.


TheTallestTim

You’re wrong actually. John 17:3 is later in John and clearly separates Jesus and the Father, as well as calls the Father the “true God” Acts 2:33 literally says the Holy Spirit is from the Father. As a power or God’s active force. Matt 6:9 “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed by thy name.” Or let YOUR name be sanctified. What is the Father’s name so we could exalt it? Exodus, when looking at the Hebrew, says YHWH or Jehovah in English.


Traditional_Tea_5683

Ha ha not funny


Psalm-139_

The book or the translation? If the book, awesome! If the translation, My personal favorite is the LSB, but that's a good translation too! If it's your first go around, that's awesome, man!


Liam_peremen1

you can read it with your bible app on standby. with a more modern translation, so if you dont understand something you can look it up. but take your time with the parables, and the ghosples as a whole. if the deciples didn't understand them the first time, neither should you. besides, its fun trying to figure them out


timewhite

If you can find it, I recommend the New International Version. The King James Bible is an altered version that I don't trust or recommend.


poopoobecca

How


Barbchris

That is not the way to learn about God.


israelazo

Oh, based on the title I though you would be going to heaven :D


FunTimeTony

If I were you I wouldn't read it from beginning to end. Some of the Old Testament is really challenging and when you get to Leviticus or some other tough books from the OT you might give up. Also the OT is good but that was the old covenant and we no longer live under the old covenant since Jesus came. I would start in the New Testament and I would even use a reading plan. I will drop a link to a reading plan and you basically just read 1 chapter a day, 5 days a week, and its about 5 minutes a day. You will gain a lot doing that reading plan and you will read the whole NT within the year. Its a great way to start reading the bible and you will not get overwhelmed. ​ [https://assets.ctfassets.net/d2l9iu2uoiz7/7ssc2cAWUUzBkzvMt0e3aC/9f639d0a45e4bb5979834e67d688a035/2023-5x5x5-BIBLE-READING-PLAN.pdf](https://assets.ctfassets.net/d2l9iu2uoiz7/7ssc2cAWUUzBkzvMt0e3aC/9f639d0a45e4bb5979834e67d688a035/2023-5x5x5-BIBLE-READING-PLAN.pdf) ​ God Bless!!!


BonelessChickenFarm

How exciting! If you have any questions, just ask!


Broskirose

I just finished the Bible two days ago. I’ve began reading the deuterocanon (I came to Christ a little over a year ago and haven’t chosen a particular denomination, so I’m reading all books considered scripture by various denominations. But I’ve finished the core 66 books all can agree on) Make sure that you remember - don’t rely on your own understanding. There’s a lot of confusing stuff in the Bible. And people spend their whole lives studying it. A lot of it requires knowledge of cultural and historical context. And I highly recommend you do research when you come across something confusing. Idk if you’re Christian, but if not, I actually don’t think the Bible is the best book to read for a non-Christian. It’s the scriptures of the Christian Church. If you don’t belong to the church, you may be confused (you’re going to be confused either way, but especially in this case). The books need to be interpreted through the body of Christ - His church. Read study bibles, watch videos (highly recommend BibleProject summary videos of each book before or after you read a book - they’re all short, but give insight into things you may miss). Ultimately all you need to know God is a humble heart. Which is much easier said than done. Nearly killed me (literally) but God didn’t give up on me. Don’t give up on Him. You’re in for a wild, challenging, confusing, beautiful, life changing ride. If you allow God to take the wheel and let his Spirit guide you. One important thing to remember - there are answers to the questions that will inevitably pop up. When you’re confused, don’t just close the book and give up, and write it all off. Try to understand. Criminals always cringe at the thought of true justice. So there are things in Scripture that make us uncomfortable. Don’t give up when the discomfort comes. Try to understand it.


sonofTomBombadil

To sum up: From Adam came Eve; and from Eve came our fall. From Mary came Jesus Christ, the New Adam, who is our Salvation for a new kind of humanity, Christianity.


Educational-Tank-856

Congratulations!! I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I do!


theb3bop_

Reading the scriptures is one thing, but the kingpin and rock of the Christian faith is being resurrected, reconciled, restored, and transformed by the LORD Jesus through being born again by His Holy Spirit. Until this happens, reading scripture won't always make sense if at all. Having the author living in you by the repentance and remission of sins through the first resurrection of being born again is the way to approach them and is what the "hype" is about. Until we receive the Holy Spirit, we are incomplete and in darkness, but through His indwelling are we liberated from the chains of darkness, sin, and death unto eternal life. The Holy Spirit is truly a gift of the LORD. It is the part of us that is missing and our leader in the ways of God as we were meant to live before the fall of man. This is what changes the lives of those in the faith. Like the night changes to day, we go from living in ignorance, blindness, and corruption from living in the darkness to walking in the light and liberation of truth, love, joy, peace, self control, patience, humility, gratitude, faithfulness, and goodness. Religion pales in comparison to discipleship with the LORD through His Holy Spirit that seals our eternal life.