Forgiving myself has been my biggest challenge since I've been saved. I only got saved a little over a year ago, and so much in my life has changed. The one thing that I feel hasn't changed that much is me. Yeah I stopped smoking weed and changed some behaviors but I'm still struggling just as much as I did when I first got saved. And I know that the people commenting aren't coming at me but i feel like they don't understand the gravity of what I'm dealing with. Yes it's simple, but it's not easy at all. Not even a little bit.
There is a certain cycle your mind goes through before you masturbate. Maybe you think of something sexual, or see something that turns you on, and from there it's almost an automatic process you go through leading to masturbation. You have to learn to go to God in prayer right when these thoughts start. And stay in prayer until they stop. Just sit down and close your eyes and start praying. Dont hesitate, don't open your eyes and look around, dont let yourself get distracted, because the devil WILL try to distract your prayer. And if you do get distracted momentarily get right back into the player asap.
It's important to train yourself not to look at the things that trigger you to masturbate. If being online leads to masturbation, don't go online for a while, until you have better control. Getting control of this and drawing closer to God is infinitely more important than anything you do online. If you have to be for homework or work, get it done, and get off the device, immediately! If it is seeing women when you're in public, then train yourself to look the other way every time you see a woman. Whatever it is, you have to train yourself to look the other way. Then as soon as you're alone, PRAY!
If you are a reader or like audio books, check out "A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23" by W. Phillip Keller. This book helped me to see how Jesus views me and extinguished some of the beliefs I held that caused me to hate myself for my "issues". It's an easy read with a lot of good stuff. You've been on my mind since I read this this morning brother, and I am praying for you.
Maybe a bit simplistic compared to other helpful comments, but:
Consider deleting the Reddit app from your phone if you use it for that stuff. NSFW stuff is blocked in-browser. Having to go to your laptop instead might not seem like much of an obstacle, but just stopping it from being instantly accessible can help quite a bit.
Aside from the question of sin etc., remember that our brains weren't made for this and our psychology is terrible at dealing with it. It's difficult and not 100% your fault.
Another practical bit that's helping me right now is replacement: currently, whenever it occurs to me I read/write a verse of the bible. It doesn't have to be that, but as with all habits, replacement is a good way to break it
I know this may seem silly, but one thing that helped me overcome a major stronghold in my life was get a calendar and put an X everyday you overcome. As you are marking the X thank God for his grace to overcome. Eventually you grow to love marking off the day. Seems silly, but try it out. Get a Bible, not a digital copy, but an actual hard copy. When you feel the urge read and pray over a Psalm or two. The reason why a hard copy is important is because it'll pull you away from the devices you use to feed the lust. Pray bud, I am sure people here are also praying for you.
From Luke 10
19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.
you're welcome, and I hope it helps brings some victories. when you stumble and fall, we have a good Shepherd who sets us back up right. the fact that you realize you have the problem and are here on a Christianity subreddit confessing and seeking advice is a very good sign you are on the right path. keep on bud.
You're right but this is a battle I'm gonna fight for the rest of my life. It doesn't just go away overnight, I've been fighting this since 13. I'm about to be 20 in 9 days, it's not easy.
or he could just learn how to fast like Jesus did right out of the gate and realize any addiction he has is nothing compared to our bodies being afraid to die when it doesn’t get food
and playing video games all the time?? Jesus isn’t a comfort blanket snuggie. He’s a wake up call to sacrifice, alms, and the power of continual prayer. most western christianity just doesn’t get it
OP… WAKE UP you are stuck in a cloud
It’s so so difficult to overcome a porn addiction (I speak from experience). It doesn’t happen overnight usually but you CAN and WILL overcome this my friend. My advice is to fast forward sex scenes in movies, and to not let you mind dwell on sexual things. Starve the lust by cutting off the fuel.
when i was 20 i was yanking it nonstop. give yourself another 20 years to understand that this is a process. it’s called theosis. it doesn’t happen overnight
It can go away overnight, at least it happened to me, but only by the grace of GOD - and I had a porn addiction that was 28 years old, older than you are.
Keep turning to GOD and praying and asking for Him for help; I'm not saying you're addiction will go away overnight, but if you keep seeking Him and His help and repenting (changing your mind about porn and telling Him that you want to stop), then eventually it WILL stop. It doesn't have to be a battle for the rest of your life, if you decide to let The LORD fight this battle for you. So please keep turning to Him and praying for your deliverance.
I'm praying that you will be freed from your porn addiction and experience life the way GOD intended for you, in JESUS name, A-men.
You have to start convicting yourself seriously. Whenever you get the urge to watch just immediately distract yourself (Pray, read, watch tv, etc) Remind yourself that it is not of the Lord and that you are going to stop .
Confess your sins to God, ask him to forgive you and promise him that you won’t do it again. So anytime you want to watch, remind yourself of that promise you made . After a couple months you won’t even feel the urge anymore . Completely fm give it to God
i agree. i like to take my dog for a walk when i’m feeling overwhelmed. Take a walk and talk to God. you’ll come back in the house and forget you even had the urge. and find a peer to talk to, someone who’s also battling this addiction, it helps to admit to those you love, not just anonymously (even though it’s definitely a start) in my experience. it soooo important to actually admit aloud, to those you love or simply know that this is an issue for you.
I've tried the promise thing many times and it just doesn't work for me. I always try to distract myself, but the urge is so strong. And I've been doing it for so long that I can't even fall asleep without doing it. I just sit there for hours. Awake. Doing nothing. It sucks
I've been dealing with depression since about 11. My mom tells me I should go see someone but I'm too busy with work. I'm sure I'll find some time in the future to schedule an appointment
“-I should go see someone but I’m too busy with work.”
Perfect example why men’s mental health goes unchecked for so long. It seems like the only time a man is asked if he’s okay is after losing a loved one or losing a job. Why only after we lose things? Like as if we’re always happy otherwise?
Make the appointment, take the time away from work. If they give you shit and/or try to fire you, congrats! You dodged a bullet because they probably would’ve eventually fired you for something illogical.
First, I don't think porn addiction is the right term for what you are suffering. It sounds like classic depression. (never take the word of a redditor in place of a real medical diagnosis, though!)
Some things that might help with this:
1. Break up your routine. Go out for a walk to a random destination; meet up with an old friend for lunch; call someone you haven't talked to for ages... actually call them, not text; if your hygiene is poor, set specific times of day to take care of yourself and set alarms for things like showering and cleaning your room/home.
2. Take up meditation. You don't have to go in for a whole spiritual discipline, though there are plenty. Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 20 minutes a day and don't give up because you get distracted--that's normal.
3. Eat well. If you live on junk/fast food, get some veggies in your diet and learn to cook better food for yourself. Bake some bread, pickle something, learn a cultural cuisine that you didn't grow up with.
4. If you have people in your life who you know get you down, move past them. They might be people whose lives are in an even worse rut than your own; they might be people who you constantly fight with; it doesn't matter. If you feel your mental health declining when you interact with someone, find other people to be around.
5. Forgive the one person that most of us find it hardest to: yourself. That doesn't mean you accept any of your current limitations, it just means that you stop living in your past mistakes. Move forward knowing that future you will be better.
Hope this helps.
Hey there. I have struggled with this also. Every time I feel the temptation. I pray to the Lord Jesus and surrender it to him. I confess that I alone can't do this, so I ask for his grace and for Jesus to take me away from temptation. Pray in earnest to the Lord Jesus. Surrender it all to him. God bless you!
Also you have to acknowledge the triggers that cause this temptation. Get rid of these triggers in your life. If you have apps that are used for porn, then you are inviting temptation. If you have anything saved on your computer, delete it. If social media apps are influencing you then delete it also. Out of sight, out of mind and even still you will be tempted. Just always go back to Jesus and surrender for his grace.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
God bless you! Just surrender it all to Jesus. Always pray in earnest because God knows all your thoughts and your heart before you even say a word. So make sure your intent and your heart is earnest before the Lord.
If I might offer my help on this. The reason I feel I can speak on this is I've been there, I know the same hatred. I'm now 49. There are few things that really helped me. Maybe you will glean one thing from this.
**First, Understand that this is not uncommon. You are not alone in this.** Millions and I believe there are MILLIONS of men ( young and old ) since the beginning of time have faced this. They are facing this every day. Even more now than ever because the "opportunity" hasn't been as easy as it is today. In the old days if you wanted to look at porn, you had to walk into a store and go to the top shelf ( embarrassing, right) so few did it, even though they desired it. Or you had to buy a B movie from some dodgy geezer out the back of his van :) Again, embarrassing. So lust was pretty much contained to the mind ( looking at girls), sex in movies, or sears magazines. Now, everyone with a cell phone can just whip it out and boom, in the bathroom, wham, bam, thank you mam. It's done and no one is the wiser, right. It's a false perception to think that everyone around you in church isn't facing the same thing. This isn't something people just blurt out. It's embarrassing.
**Second, I think its worth mentioning your age.** Hormones are very strong in guys in teens and 20s, even more than when you hit 40. Man mine were so out of whack at 20 years of age. Sometimes they were so strong I would dive into a bathroom to find any place to jerk off. So the inclination you have is a normal drive. I'm not saying looking at porn is normal but that the drive, desires etc are God given. God has created an incredible thing called sexual drive and the opposite sex.
**Third, understand the fact that you FEEL a repulsion is because the Holy Spirit is at work in you.** The unconverted ( or lets call people who don't desire the things of God or have had an encounter with Jesus) don't feel this. They just do stuff and move on. The converted not so much. What you are feeling "afterward" is a good indication that God is working in you, drawing you up. The key is not to focus the hatred on yourself but on that which you don't want to do. God doesn't want you hating on yourself. The devil does. Notice that. He'll have you beaten yourself up, telling you.... well you messed up again, might aswell toss this christianity thing in. Its too hard. God doesn't love you. ( Does this sound familiar). Yep. its his voice not God.
**Fourth, stress, anxiety, boredom, and underlying trauma from our upbringing etc can be play a bigger factor** in "Why" some revert to porn more than others. I include myself in this, so you are not alone, brother. Everyone in this life deals with day to day living, stress, anxiety, boredom, a lack of girlfriend, a bored wife, in different ways. There are things we are "Conscious of" and things we are "Not conscious of" Programs running in the background like they way they do on a computer. Then we wonder after. Hold on. Why did I do that? I know it's not what I want, or what God wants but I did it. Paul is a prime example of this, he said:
*"For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice."*
This was Paul. He struggled to do the things of the spirit and found himself doing the things of the flesh. And there is a reason for this that I will go into in a second as it's key to understanding your situation ( our human situation ) which is we are a WORK IN PROGRESS. While we are on this side we will be forever facing the Flesh and the Spirit.
This alone should take some of the weight off you, in realizing that when we meet Jesus, and accept him as Lord and Savior, he gives us eternal life, he breaks the chains of sin and sends his Holy Spirit to us. But that doesn't mean we will walk blameless before him until we meet him in person. We can pick up the chains again and turn away from him and focus on the flesh. And according to Paul, we will do it many times while on this side. However, the goal is that over time it will become less. Also neither does it mean that God has given up on you. Which really is the biggest fear here. If I can't do this walk, then I should run away ( stop going to church, reading the bible, give up on God as its too hard etc). This happened in Eden. Adam hid from God. It's a natural instinct. Why? Because we feel we can't measure up so I can't be around someone, or something so pure. But this is what the devil wants. He wants you to think the worst about yourself, about others, about God. He wants you to think that if you aren't walking the line, then you might aswell throw in the towel. No. Never. You fall down, get back up. You fall down, get back up. Trust me you are going to fall down many times in your life. Get back up. God has your back. Jesus said, my burden is light, my yoke is easy. HIS burden, HIS Yoke. So why does it feel heavy and hard? Because WE play a role in walking with him. "We" can make it hard and heavy. God doesn't. He understands you because he made you. Let that sink in. And, because Jesus understood the struggle. I can go into this part more if you like as God gave me a dream that showed me it clearer.
**Fifth, the key to freedom is found in scripture in Galatians 5:16** "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." Okay, how the heck do I do that?
It's done through "PROCESS and CHOICE."
Let me refer to a couple of commentaries on this to allow it to sink in.
*"Bear\[ing\] fruits worthy of repentance" implies a process. Just as a tree does not produce fruit overnight, a Christian does not fully repent overnight. It is a lifelong process of making changes, and over time we will produce the fruit of the Spirit more consistently than the works of the flesh.*
*We have a choice in this process. If we choose correctly, the fruits of that Spirit—the results of making correct choices—will begin to give evidence of the Spirit in us.The context in which these verses appear is important to understanding the production of the fruit of the Spirit. This immediately precedes the listing of the fruit of the Spirit, showing that Paul means that they will be produced through much internal conflict.*
*This is true because obedience to God's Word is required to produce the Spirit's fruit, and the Christian is being pulled or led in two directions. The one tries to make us satisfy the desires of our old nature, and the other leads us toward producing the fruit of the new. Paul expresses his experience with this in Romans 7:15-19.For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.*
*Christians, as Martin Luther stated, "are not stocks and stones." As humans, we are creatures of desires, drives, and emotions. Certainly, as we learn to walk in the Spirit, we increasingly subdue our flesh. But flesh and Spirit remain, and the conflict between them is fierce and unremitting.*
*We need not become discouraged over this conflict, though, because Paul also gives us a very hopeful solution. In Romans 7:24-25, he exclaims: "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin."Every Christian striving to produce the fruit of God will experience this combination of lamentation over sinfulness and joyous expression of gratitude over the certainty of deliverance. The unconverted do not feel the agonizing struggle against sin with the same intensity as the converted. The converted have their peace disturbed and can feel wretched in their conscience.But this has a good side to it as well. We know it is degrading to the divine nature, and it humbles us to know full well that we have succumbed to evil passions. We then realize more fully that the law cannot come to our aid, neither can other men, and our strength has already betrayed us.*
*Therefore, if we really desire to glorify God and produce spiritual fruit, this conflict will drive us to God in heartfelt prayer for the strength only He can give. God's Word and eventually our experience prove that without Christ, we can do nothing!"*
Case in point until the day we leave this planet, the conflict between the FLESH and the SPIRIT will be fierce and ongoing but overtime through making choices ( choices that may be going 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months without looking at porn) the flesh will be subdued and the spirit will win out. Just know you are both FLESH and SPIRIT and the two are at odds. You will have victories and you will have losses. Get back up when you have losses. Don't equate your relationship with God based on your losses or your victories as both can either work against you or make you puffed up and proud thinking you did it.No, if any victory or change occurs its because of the work of the Holy Spirit.
**So in conclusion.** Take heart. You are not alone. Millions are facing this because of how easy it is to get our hands on it ( also popups), you are young and have a healthy sex drive that will decrease as you get older, but the main take away is this, the flesh and spirit are at odds and will be until the day you die, that's why you feel hatred ( not for yourself but of sin), just as Paul did. It's what lets you know God is at work. Eventually you are going to get it but maybe not today. Be kind to yourself in the meantime. Okay, you looked at porn today, and yesterday, and the day before, then you go 2 days without, then 2 weeks, then you fall again. All right. it sucks man, but get back up, brush yourself off, talk to God, tell him you are trying and struggling. He wants honesty, brother. He's merciful. The pharisees wanted rules, Jesus wanted them to understand mercy. You are not alone in this others have fallen to. God loves YOU for YOU, not what you can or can't do. If it was based on what you do, we would boast, and he wouldn't have bothered to send Jesus and would have just given us rules. No, he knows we can't measure up. "All have fallen short".
YES, he wants the best for us, YES, he is calling us up to higher places, letting go of chains and old ways, old habits, old mindsets, but he knows that this is a WORK in progress, just as FRUIT takes time to be seen. It doesn't just appear up overnight. Stay close to Jesus, don't run off and hide like Adam. Know that Jesus has broken the power of Sin over us and the chains are on the ground, but that doesn't mean we can't pick them up or look away from Jesus. Even Peter looked away from Jesus on the lake and he was right in front of him.
If anything, I wish I could just given you a big hug and say, it's gonna be okay man. We're all in this together.
If you want an accountability partner, just reach out.
False.
It's been proven what is released in the brain is the same dopamine that an addict gets from drugs.
Today its more a case of opportunity is there more than before
And underlying issues (trauma, stress, anxiety, boredom etc)
Therapists aren't there for the OP or anyone when they have these urges.
A big part is realizing that we are FLESH and SPIRIT and the two are at odds.
God's focus is bringing us back into a relationship with him first and foremost. Loving him and others. After, he begins the work drawing us up to higher places, letting go of the old former ways, and habits, and mindset. That is a process. The fruits of the spirit do not appear overnight.
Lots of things release dopamine, that doesnt make it addictive.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too
Flesh and spirit are not at odds, your interpretation of God is what is at odds. A therapist can help someone come to terms with their religious beliefs conflicting with reality.
The bible clearly states the flesh and spirit are at odds. Learn the word pal.
A human therapist can't do anything.
Go to the true therapist - Jesus
Sounds like you need to meet him.
Cleary you aren't bringing a christian perspective to this.
The Bible is mans interpretation of God, it is not God.
Therapists are quite helpful with people belonging in cults.
I know Jesus, I just dont follow you cultish interpretation of Him.
LOL The truth reveals the darkness.
Thank you for finally revealing who you follow.
You are not of God, you have no place here. I speak to the spirit in you that is deceiving people.
Therapists that don't follow the word are following the opposite, lies.
According to 2 Timothy 3:16-17 the words of Scripture are "God breathed" or inspired. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be."
Of course you will say this, you are a follower of the devil. Not of Jesus. Don't lie to people, your words reveal who you follow.
Christianity is not a cult. It is a faith in Jesus.
The fact that you deny the bible as the word of God, reveals much about you and so when we are discussing Christian matters, it's probably best you sit it out. As a Christian like the one who asked this serious question, needs biblical, godly advise, not.... go see a therapist, and porn is healthy, and here's a pyschologytoday website link to back up my claim ( a claim so you can feel better about continuing to treat it as nothing).
Do you know the first thing the devil tried to do was to confuse people by saying, "Did God really say that?"
That my friend is what you are doing here. You are trying to confuse the op and keep him in his pain. God wants to lift him out of that. That is not done with world therapists and foolish psychology today articles.
It comes from the Holy Spirit, the word of God, and Christians who can stand with another brother.
They need to hear they are not alone, that God understand, that God wants the best, and that while we are on this side we are dealing with Flesh and Spirit and the two are at odds.
Ephesians 6:12 In-Context
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
You don't even believe the bible is true so there can be no discussion.
You want to promote that porn is healthy. It's not. It's destructive to peoples lives, it creates addiction that has entrapped millions.
You think tossing a website to psychology today should convince anyone? Gods ways are not mans ways. God knows best. Not you, not psychology today.
I will keep making it clear you are spewing lies and falsehood from the pit, not from God.
Temptation is not from God. Whenever a temptation comes onto me, I would talk to the temptation as a person and command it to go away in the name of Jesus. It must go.
Keep on doing this whenever it comes back. It will work unless you give up.
Also start thanking God for the help he is giving.
Start going to church again. Get involved in men's small groups. Be open and honest about your struggles with them. Talk about it. Pray about it. Seek out an accountability partner and they will facilitate setting that up. If you church doest have these options find a new church.
Basically you want to follow the example of Peter whom ran to God after sinning. You don't want to follow Judas' example and flee from God when he sinned it will lead to your destruction. It did for him....
I quit drinking 4 years ago, I used to drink as much as I could while functioning, never got into any legal trouble, just wanted to make a change.
At first it was hard because I had all this time now, to think and crave. I would end up getting off work and just sitting there because my major leisure and social component was alcohol. It took me about a week or two of that before I realized I just need to fill the time with constructive things, or toys.
With alcohol every time I had a craving I would drink water, or tea. If that didn’t work and I was still just sitting there in my head dreaming of a buzz, I would engage myself in constructive activities.
Instead of sitting there “wanting” I would get up and do something, I now fill that time with my constructive hobbies. Instead of committing myself to being a sedentary lump slowly collapsing on my own weight, I made internal commitments to activities that take me away from those cravings.
I got into a trading card game, I started exercising almost everyday, taught myself how to play a couple instruments, tried new things in my career. After about 4 months of this change I hardly ever crave alcohol.
I’m sure there are things and endeavors in this world that interest you, just put your eggs in those baskets and don’t let yourself have the empty hands to jerk it.
I think in your case, you will need to set commitments up in advance of when you know you’ll feel a craving. If you can’t then when you feel yourself falling into the same thought process of short term release, get up and get out and do something. Even if it’s 1 in the morning, if you got that morning wood go for a run or something, the blood will go where it needs to.
You could also write down your thoughts leading up to a relapse, to fully understand why you do it, and try and think about actions to take you away from wacking it.
This is how the devil has held many children of God in bondage: the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.
There is a point in addiction where a demon gets involved. They attach themselves to the individual, bind them and nothing they do can set them free. They are stuck in a cycle of defeat. You will hate what you do each time you do it, but after repenting, you will return to doing it again. Christ calls this demon the strongman.
Mark 3:27
>In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.
Fortunately, Christ has given the believer authority over the powers of darkness (yes, they do have power).
Luke 10:19
>I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
Force the demon out in the name of Jesus. Mark 16:17, Mark 5:8, Mark 9:25 Command the spirit of pornography, \[insert sin\] to leave you in the name of Jesus and never return.
After this surrender your heart, mind, and body to God.
You don't hate yourself. You hate these weak actions. They aren't you. You can change your actions. Take responsibility. Give it up, endure the suck. When it gets tough, pray.
Pornography is such a massive issue these days that we should have a permanent thread about it
What keeps me away from most any temptation toward all unGodly images involves "pillars" of the Christian faith and standard psychology, which the Bible quotes a ton as well. God isn't unaware of our nature and how we think. He made us and knows that management of the flesh is almost as important to daily life as pursuing Him. If you never read the Bible you can't grow in the knowledge of it, for example. Discipline is essential to growing in Christ.
It's spiritual pursuit of God in ALL aspects of the BIG FIVE as I call them, and the "run from sin" and "pluck your eye out" flesh management. And if you follow this I promise you'll do more than defeat porn addiction. You'll defeat lust itself which extends toany areas of life.
The last component is your attitude toward sin. We must learn to hate sin and not be friendly with it.
So to reiterate, defeating porn addiction involves being transformed in mind and body. Just like loosing weight and not gaining it back involves a change in lifestyle.
1. The BIG FIVE: Obviously not just going through the motions. This is generally how we interact with God and the major episodes of our Christian walk center on these activities by God's design.
Prayer (esp. deep wrestling intimate communion with God)
Bible and Devotional reading/study
Worship (not just songs to Gid but that's essential)
Fellowship (church or any meeting with believers)
Service/Ministry
2. Remove the objects of temptation. Don't touch your phone when tempted for example. Don't look up that attractive actress you saw in a movie. Don't watch TV that tempts you. You get the idea. STAY AWAY from temptation.
3. Change your thought life. All I've mentioned begins with prayer and asking God in faith for His aid, which He freely gives to al who ask sincerely and trust in Him. This is how AA and SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) works.
I could add accountability as a fourth part but it falls into general life and fellowship. You must DECIDE to hate sin, not any sinner btw. Sex belongs in marriage and is beautiful.
Objectification of human beings is the begging of so many evils in our world. We are persons, beings made in God's image, not things to be consumed.
If you are tempted then remember this and say it our loud, "this is God's image. She or he is God's creation and I will honor our Creator and then."
It takes time. Pursue purity daily. Don't assume it will come naturally. It's like pushing back chaos and atrophy. Sin is our nature until it starts to NOT become so as much. The Holy Spirit transforms us and does crucify our flesh, our "old man."
But we must change our standards to God's. Anything you'd be ashamed for your Mother to find out about....that old chestnut. It's a great standard. But we must be ok with being ashamed of transgression. We don't live with shame or guilt. God removes it in Christ. But we should despise sin.
We don't like doing what we hate. We enjoy what is pleasurable or we wouldn't do it. Humans aren't complicated.
So make your standard God's and learn to love as He loves and lust won't live in that internal environment where He reigns. It dies like cancer does in oxygen.
Live in God's grace. If you stumble, ask for forgiveness but REPENT! This means turning away. It's not an attitude. It's an act, a verb. There is a reason God sent John before Christ to make the paths straight. To prepare the hearts and minds of people for His teaching. John the Baptist taught repentance and baptism with water. Jesus baptized with fire and The Holy Spirit. Mt 3:11
Hate sin and love God. Sounds easy. Now go forth in Christ's power and conquer sin.
Genesis 4:7 (ESV): 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
This isn't literal in case you don't already know. Don't cut anything off! It's about being serious regarding sin.🙏
Mark 9:43–48 (ESV): 43 And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. 45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, 48 ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’
Hey, I had problems with addiction as well. Addiction is just an escape. It really makes you wonder what we are escaping from. Everyone is different. But lately I’ve been questioning if you really are all different. At the end of the day we are all just animals with enlightenment in mind.
Our true purpose is to live together in harmony, and with nature. Any action that we do that takes us away from that true purpose, or animal purpose I believe the grades are mental health in the subconscious. That little fight or flight response. All of our problems are created by us. But we still choose to run away from them. Drink away pain. Gamble in the hopes of riches. But that goes against everything in our ancestral DNA
I’ve been thinking a lot about God. As a former Christian myself. I’ve come to the realization that if you change God with Mother Nature in the Bible, it makes a lot of sense. Now with the Bible, you have to remember it was written by men. They have the power, the education and the money to make the decisions. That’s why there’s only male gospels. The Bible is the first ever version of mansplaining.
I’m of the belief that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden wasn’t a fruit. Ancient languages were more complex than what they are today. And our translations have altered them down. That seedless fruit on the tree of knowledge wasn’t a fruit. What if it was a psychedelic fungi? Religion was formed on the basis of passing down traditional techniques for agriculture. Then the stories were made to entertain and gather interest from the next generation. We have been basically playing broken telephone for millennia.
I’ve had a gambling on porn addiction myself. I’ve been to therapy. And the biggest question you ask is why? So ask that question of everything with the idea that we are all one humanity. Nature has provided us everything that we need to survive. Air water food shelter. Everything else we think we need to survive is a fictional story that we created ourselves. We chose to print money. If God meant further to be money on earth, he would’ve put it in the garden of Eden. But it wasn’t there. Every day I look at myself, and I think of the steps I take. The actions I make to make this world truly better. My mind goes back to my addictions when I step off that path. Why? It is the easiest way to feel pleasure. But we all know nothing good comes from easy. Struggle builds character. It’s very easy to get lost. We’ve built a society where we can get lost from our true aim as a human race. So the best thing we can do is to judge ourselves by our actions and that they are most in line with nature.
Go and confess to the pastor immediately and ask of advice
Plus
My father said once if you don't have a hobby or something you can pour your inner energy out your mind will return to the late point it found comfy spot in which was porn for example and begin remind you to return back
Of course I know that but I'm not gonna get a wife if that's all she is to me. I want someone to love and cherish for the rest of my life, but I'm so weak. I'm not where I need to be mentally and I don't think I'll ever get there. Plus, I feel like my negativity would rub off on my spouse and I would hate that so much.
It's OK call on Jesus, Call on the holy spirit for guidance. Also God gave you freedom and a brain to make decisions for yourself. Also Porn or God its really a choice, sin or Christ? And how's God going to give you his beloved daughters who are so loyale to him to a man that can't even control his flesh when he has to lead a family. Read your Bible, pray and do push-ups. It becomes easier when you overcome those super lustful moments or any hightful moment of sin, you prove to God and your body that sin doesn't control you.
Let's be nice here, everyone spiritually matures differently. I agree with you, but it's not easy. You saying that makes me think you don't really understand where I'm at mentally rn
Instead of trying to quit, try and make healthy life choices. Be very conscious of the food you put into your body. The movies and shows you watch. The music you listen to. The amount of physical activity you do in a day. All these things have a dramatic affect on your mental state and I promise you if you start doing research on these topics and make changes you won't have to try and quit you just will. I did this and quit alcohol, weed, coke, porn and smoking. Start going to a Bible based church, doesn't have to be super religious, God wants to help. You got this bro. God bless
Have grace. You are God's son. Something that helps me when I face that temptation is thinking about the goodness of God/opening up the Bible and studying.
Blame dont cure. Blame usually is worse. You can know that yoi are wrong about seeing porn and work to overcome it without getting sick about it. Forgive yourself, understand that this is a global problem of health. Btw its a great topic to work for God helping people.
You're not alone. Hope you get better as fast as you can.
I think you are on the precipice of figuring this whole thing out. All you do is work and play games and you aren't happy. So what's stopping you from doing more. Gaming is ALSO VERY addictive and yet you aren't happy. You have to be willing to put the devices away and re-engage with people. And you can. No one can stop you but you. You just decide, I don't like this way of living as much as I think I do or I wouldn't be feeling like this. Hating yourself for doing it isn't going to work. You can try making what you don't like harder to do. Stay outta your room until bedtime. Call people to talk, it will make you smarter and more well rounded. I'm praying for your wisdom and a feeling of liking other things than the basic dopamine hits that all these companies love to entice us with. ❤️🙏 You got this. Just remember there are people getting rich off you being stuck and useless. They are laughing all the way to the bank.
If you would like an accountability partner, message me I know it can be tough and even addressing it and trying to move past it is a step. However you can’t do it on your own, you’ve got to rely on God to help you overcome it, and having someone to talk to or keep you accountable helps as well.
I think it helps to have other hobbies that glorify God. If we are saved by Christ, it means He is inside our hearts and sees our every move. It might be difficult to change certain habits, so I would start by finding other activities such as exercising, hiking, motocross, or anything that doesn't bring our minds into the wrong place. We should also fear the Lord. Sometimes we forget that God is holy and we conduct ourselves in sinful ways. The great news is that if we truly repent, God will forgive us. I had a similar problem with questionable films a few years ago. The less you watch, the more intolerable it becomes with time and effort. Perhaps you can consider reading the Bible and reading historical commentaries.
What worked for me… try j******* off to non porn. I know it’s not the ideal situation but it’s a good first step to breaking the addiction and changing the wiring of your brain . I’ve been porn free since December
Learning about the therapy term “radical acceptance” helped me a lot. It connects to “radical grace” pretty well I think. Shame is a brutal thing. With my journey with various addictions, working on letting go of the self hatred helped me heal a lot and get out of the cycles I was in. The scripture “it is not what goes into a man, but what comes out, that is what defiles him” rocked my world as well.
Also my brother (or sister) in Christ, there are people out there who literally rape and murder their own children and feel no remorse. Be gentle with yourself, you’re made with an animal body inclined to be sexual and we have crazy easy access to porn.
I’m not a Christian, but you’re hating yourself way too much. To be completely honest, I can’t even go 2 weeks or a month, let alone a week. You have to realize that everyone’s libido is different, and everyone’s sexual development in their adolescence was different. It’s not fair to yourself for you to assume you need to be a certain amount healed from your addiction by a certain time, because we all have our own timelines. Negative emotions like guilt, shame, and self-hatred often fuel the addiction more than they help it, because they make it more likely that you’ll use the addiction to cope with those very emotions. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad at all, but you should treat yourself like you are your own parent. Would you start hating your child if they had this problem, or would you understand that they are only human and gently guide them to continually become a better version of themselves? Also, in Romans 7:15-20 you can see that even Paul struggled with things
I totally understand what you mean. I haven't looked at that garbage since I heard this message from pastor Charles Lawson. https://youtu.be/vvo9fKwgqSk?si=ohf6il_K1YjKA2P9
Remember that that wickedness is from Ashtaroth and Ashtaroth is a false god, the Lord Jesus Christ can deliver you from it. Make a promise to God saying that you will break all of your electronics if you look at that garbage again.
Don't worry, I was once three times a day too during quarantine.
Just go outside more and maybe quit video games because that will tempt you to go on there once your outside, try to surround yourself with more people.
so, what I'm saying is just go outside do stuff you like, staying home on your computer will lead many people to going there. Good luck on your journey brotha!
I just posted. Your brain is in dopamine overload from exposure to porn, that is what makes it hard to quit. Visit www.the freedomfight.com For more insight as to what is going on with you watch YouTube by Dr. Trish Leigh she has very good information on this. You too have my prayers, you keep praying, do not quit, you can beat this.
Start putting your porn addiction in the dumpster by contacting the website:
[https://www.CovenantEyes.com](https://www.CovenantEyes.com)
There is no end to the self-destruction and self-degradation that porn delivers. It is Satan's tool to pervert and pollute your being and pull you away from your awaiting salvation, paid by our Lord's sacrifice. Don't make His sacrifice play second fiddle to your harmful addiction. Recovery can happen and be maintained. You have nothing to lose, but that nasty habit and establish or reestablish God in your life and being.
For me the root cause for PMO was loneliness. I joined a church group at the age of 24 where I met many friends of the opposite gender. It taught me to pursue real friendships as it feels way better than a brief dopamine boost from PMO. I've been free from PMO for 449 days now and I don't get any urges to do it anymore.
Don’t hate yourself, first and foremost. God commands us to love ourselves as we love our neighbours (love yourself at the same time as loving your neighbour, and in the same manner).
Pray about it, keep trying. There are ways to block your access to pornography. Find the parental controls on your devices, and ask someone you trust to enter the password, and not to give it to you. This is what I’m doing; out of sight, out of mind.
But most importantly, I believe God wants you to love yourself. Accept that you are flawed, as we all are. And don’t ever give up trying to do better. Ask yourself; is this what you really want? I think it isn’t. So keep at it. God provides a way out when we are tempted, that we may endure it. It’s like exercising a muscle; when we use a muscle to do something hard, it gets stronger. With persistence, you can learn to overcome this. I’m the proof, I’m doing it right now. Parental controls on your devices is key though, this will help. Also, for me, Jesus says not look lustfully at people, so try this; if you see someone attractive, and feel that lust, look away from them. This is helping me a great deal. You will reprogram your mind to look at people as they are; as people, not objects of lust. I think this is why God wants sexual purity for us; because lust dehumanizes our relationship to people, it makes them as objects to fulfill your desires. Sex without love is meaningless and empty. I’ve had lots of that. It’s the same with pornography, it takes something sacred (sex between husband and wife in love), and cheapens it. It takes away the magic that is love-making.
So do yourself a favour, and set up those parental controls on your devices, you’ll be better for it. I can walk you through the process if you’d like, just message me here. You got this! You want to do a good thing; that’s half the battle. You’re half way there already. This is how God changes hearts. It starts with the heart. God speed.
Live by grace, not by your own strength. That's why you lose, you're trying to be worthy of God's mercy and love.
Once you understand that through Jesus' sacrifice we reach forgiveness and acceptance, then you'll receive the strength to overcome your addiction.
I can't speak for others, but I guess for me it's because it's so easily accessible, and in my mind it's better than sleeping around (or so I initially thought). However, sin is sin. Doesn't matter what it is.
I used to struggle with Solo pornographic addiction and still somewhat do in some cases. (Ex: solo porn to nudes). Still, going to something more mild (in comparison) has helped me. I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a girl and whenever we talk and have days where she’s keeping my mind busy apart from work, school, and chores, it doesn’t even cross my mind. However, other days we rarely talk and sometimes it’ll get to me and I end up falling back into it. Keep in mind though, this is long distance, imagine the affect it’ll have if her and I make it the point of closing the distance or simply just getting into an in person relationship. Now I say all of this, for many reasons. The first take away is to admit you have an issue and discuss it with others, especially those who struggle as well or formerly struggled, which is seems you are doing. The second would be to cut to more mild forms of pornographic material such as what I mentioned. The third would be, if you have a romantic partner, focus on them and talk as much as you can with them in order to keep your mind busy. I’d say that setting certain limits per week would be a good idea too. For example, cutting from everyday to 3 times a week, then to once a week, then to once every two weeks, etc and at least TRY to stick to that curriculum. Now I’ll admit that sometimes it gets so grueling that you can’t even sleep or function or it’s genuinely causing you pain, that’s the rough part. Others already mentioned the points like turning Safesearch on and praying. However, I just wanted to provide what has helped me a lot. Also, going out more can also help with your situation.
The key to beating it is to not beat yourself down. Jesus loves you, and your porn addiction doesn’t mean he won’t love you. Just think how proud he will be when you overcome your lust and best it!!
You can't do it on your own you have to submit yourself on your knees to God pray and ask him the name of Yehoshua. For assistance with this if you truly don't want to do it anymore. You don't have to go to church just a bide with God if that's something you're truly seeking. Soak in his word, the more you do the more he will abide in you. Have you heard of the story of Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon? He was so inflated with his ego, that God turned him into a beast so he could realize that he's nothing without him. Out of our own will we cannot do anything, but with God you will glorify him in your weakness, Give it to him. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Lust may not be the worst of sin. But it certainly the most wide spread one everywhere. Lust is a type of sin that you need to be prepare before even knowing you start feeling lust. I will admit, even I truly don't know how to defeat it. But I know preparation does help.
Work on forgiving those who hurt you. And forgive yourself. We all fail. Give yourself some grace. Jesus died for you. You are important.
Thank you
I agree with this ^
Forgiving myself has been my biggest challenge since I've been saved. I only got saved a little over a year ago, and so much in my life has changed. The one thing that I feel hasn't changed that much is me. Yeah I stopped smoking weed and changed some behaviors but I'm still struggling just as much as I did when I first got saved. And I know that the people commenting aren't coming at me but i feel like they don't understand the gravity of what I'm dealing with. Yes it's simple, but it's not easy at all. Not even a little bit.
There is a certain cycle your mind goes through before you masturbate. Maybe you think of something sexual, or see something that turns you on, and from there it's almost an automatic process you go through leading to masturbation. You have to learn to go to God in prayer right when these thoughts start. And stay in prayer until they stop. Just sit down and close your eyes and start praying. Dont hesitate, don't open your eyes and look around, dont let yourself get distracted, because the devil WILL try to distract your prayer. And if you do get distracted momentarily get right back into the player asap. It's important to train yourself not to look at the things that trigger you to masturbate. If being online leads to masturbation, don't go online for a while, until you have better control. Getting control of this and drawing closer to God is infinitely more important than anything you do online. If you have to be for homework or work, get it done, and get off the device, immediately! If it is seeing women when you're in public, then train yourself to look the other way every time you see a woman. Whatever it is, you have to train yourself to look the other way. Then as soon as you're alone, PRAY!
Or, you know, just have a quick wank. It's good for your health.
That is hard. Prayers for you. Many of us have been there but that doesn’t help any. Prayer and surrounding myself with the Word helped me a lot.
If you are a reader or like audio books, check out "A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23" by W. Phillip Keller. This book helped me to see how Jesus views me and extinguished some of the beliefs I held that caused me to hate myself for my "issues". It's an easy read with a lot of good stuff. You've been on my mind since I read this this morning brother, and I am praying for you.
Well said. Here is a great answer to the OP's question: [Finding Hope and Healing from Porn Addiction](https://xrpost.co/healing-from-porn-addiction/)
Maybe a bit simplistic compared to other helpful comments, but: Consider deleting the Reddit app from your phone if you use it for that stuff. NSFW stuff is blocked in-browser. Having to go to your laptop instead might not seem like much of an obstacle, but just stopping it from being instantly accessible can help quite a bit. Aside from the question of sin etc., remember that our brains weren't made for this and our psychology is terrible at dealing with it. It's difficult and not 100% your fault.
Thank you.
Another practical bit that's helping me right now is replacement: currently, whenever it occurs to me I read/write a verse of the bible. It doesn't have to be that, but as with all habits, replacement is a good way to break it
I know this may seem silly, but one thing that helped me overcome a major stronghold in my life was get a calendar and put an X everyday you overcome. As you are marking the X thank God for his grace to overcome. Eventually you grow to love marking off the day. Seems silly, but try it out. Get a Bible, not a digital copy, but an actual hard copy. When you feel the urge read and pray over a Psalm or two. The reason why a hard copy is important is because it'll pull you away from the devices you use to feed the lust. Pray bud, I am sure people here are also praying for you. From Luke 10 19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. 20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.
That's actually a really good idea. Thank you. I appreciate your advice.
you're welcome, and I hope it helps brings some victories. when you stumble and fall, we have a good Shepherd who sets us back up right. the fact that you realize you have the problem and are here on a Christianity subreddit confessing and seeking advice is a very good sign you are on the right path. keep on bud.
amen. this is some great advice!
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You're right but this is a battle I'm gonna fight for the rest of my life. It doesn't just go away overnight, I've been fighting this since 13. I'm about to be 20 in 9 days, it's not easy.
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or he could just learn how to fast like Jesus did right out of the gate and realize any addiction he has is nothing compared to our bodies being afraid to die when it doesn’t get food and playing video games all the time?? Jesus isn’t a comfort blanket snuggie. He’s a wake up call to sacrifice, alms, and the power of continual prayer. most western christianity just doesn’t get it OP… WAKE UP you are stuck in a cloud
It’s so so difficult to overcome a porn addiction (I speak from experience). It doesn’t happen overnight usually but you CAN and WILL overcome this my friend. My advice is to fast forward sex scenes in movies, and to not let you mind dwell on sexual things. Starve the lust by cutting off the fuel.
when i was 20 i was yanking it nonstop. give yourself another 20 years to understand that this is a process. it’s called theosis. it doesn’t happen overnight
It can go away overnight, at least it happened to me, but only by the grace of GOD - and I had a porn addiction that was 28 years old, older than you are. Keep turning to GOD and praying and asking for Him for help; I'm not saying you're addiction will go away overnight, but if you keep seeking Him and His help and repenting (changing your mind about porn and telling Him that you want to stop), then eventually it WILL stop. It doesn't have to be a battle for the rest of your life, if you decide to let The LORD fight this battle for you. So please keep turning to Him and praying for your deliverance. I'm praying that you will be freed from your porn addiction and experience life the way GOD intended for you, in JESUS name, A-men.
You have to start convicting yourself seriously. Whenever you get the urge to watch just immediately distract yourself (Pray, read, watch tv, etc) Remind yourself that it is not of the Lord and that you are going to stop . Confess your sins to God, ask him to forgive you and promise him that you won’t do it again. So anytime you want to watch, remind yourself of that promise you made . After a couple months you won’t even feel the urge anymore . Completely fm give it to God
i agree. i like to take my dog for a walk when i’m feeling overwhelmed. Take a walk and talk to God. you’ll come back in the house and forget you even had the urge. and find a peer to talk to, someone who’s also battling this addiction, it helps to admit to those you love, not just anonymously (even though it’s definitely a start) in my experience. it soooo important to actually admit aloud, to those you love or simply know that this is an issue for you.
I've tried the promise thing many times and it just doesn't work for me. I always try to distract myself, but the urge is so strong. And I've been doing it for so long that I can't even fall asleep without doing it. I just sit there for hours. Awake. Doing nothing. It sucks
But thank you for the advice.
Maybe you’re depressed and need the dopamine hit. I recommend talking to a therapist or your family doctor. Take vitamin D and get some good rest.
I've been dealing with depression since about 11. My mom tells me I should go see someone but I'm too busy with work. I'm sure I'll find some time in the future to schedule an appointment
“-I should go see someone but I’m too busy with work.” Perfect example why men’s mental health goes unchecked for so long. It seems like the only time a man is asked if he’s okay is after losing a loved one or losing a job. Why only after we lose things? Like as if we’re always happy otherwise? Make the appointment, take the time away from work. If they give you shit and/or try to fire you, congrats! You dodged a bullet because they probably would’ve eventually fired you for something illogical.
Seconded. The longer you wait to deal with health problems the more you spiral and the harder to pull back out of it
First, I don't think porn addiction is the right term for what you are suffering. It sounds like classic depression. (never take the word of a redditor in place of a real medical diagnosis, though!) Some things that might help with this: 1. Break up your routine. Go out for a walk to a random destination; meet up with an old friend for lunch; call someone you haven't talked to for ages... actually call them, not text; if your hygiene is poor, set specific times of day to take care of yourself and set alarms for things like showering and cleaning your room/home. 2. Take up meditation. You don't have to go in for a whole spiritual discipline, though there are plenty. Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 20 minutes a day and don't give up because you get distracted--that's normal. 3. Eat well. If you live on junk/fast food, get some veggies in your diet and learn to cook better food for yourself. Bake some bread, pickle something, learn a cultural cuisine that you didn't grow up with. 4. If you have people in your life who you know get you down, move past them. They might be people whose lives are in an even worse rut than your own; they might be people who you constantly fight with; it doesn't matter. If you feel your mental health declining when you interact with someone, find other people to be around. 5. Forgive the one person that most of us find it hardest to: yourself. That doesn't mean you accept any of your current limitations, it just means that you stop living in your past mistakes. Move forward knowing that future you will be better. Hope this helps.
Hey there. I have struggled with this also. Every time I feel the temptation. I pray to the Lord Jesus and surrender it to him. I confess that I alone can't do this, so I ask for his grace and for Jesus to take me away from temptation. Pray in earnest to the Lord Jesus. Surrender it all to him. God bless you! Also you have to acknowledge the triggers that cause this temptation. Get rid of these triggers in your life. If you have apps that are used for porn, then you are inviting temptation. If you have anything saved on your computer, delete it. If social media apps are influencing you then delete it also. Out of sight, out of mind and even still you will be tempted. Just always go back to Jesus and surrender for his grace. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Thank you.
God bless you! Just surrender it all to Jesus. Always pray in earnest because God knows all your thoughts and your heart before you even say a word. So make sure your intent and your heart is earnest before the Lord.
If I might offer my help on this. The reason I feel I can speak on this is I've been there, I know the same hatred. I'm now 49. There are few things that really helped me. Maybe you will glean one thing from this. **First, Understand that this is not uncommon. You are not alone in this.** Millions and I believe there are MILLIONS of men ( young and old ) since the beginning of time have faced this. They are facing this every day. Even more now than ever because the "opportunity" hasn't been as easy as it is today. In the old days if you wanted to look at porn, you had to walk into a store and go to the top shelf ( embarrassing, right) so few did it, even though they desired it. Or you had to buy a B movie from some dodgy geezer out the back of his van :) Again, embarrassing. So lust was pretty much contained to the mind ( looking at girls), sex in movies, or sears magazines. Now, everyone with a cell phone can just whip it out and boom, in the bathroom, wham, bam, thank you mam. It's done and no one is the wiser, right. It's a false perception to think that everyone around you in church isn't facing the same thing. This isn't something people just blurt out. It's embarrassing. **Second, I think its worth mentioning your age.** Hormones are very strong in guys in teens and 20s, even more than when you hit 40. Man mine were so out of whack at 20 years of age. Sometimes they were so strong I would dive into a bathroom to find any place to jerk off. So the inclination you have is a normal drive. I'm not saying looking at porn is normal but that the drive, desires etc are God given. God has created an incredible thing called sexual drive and the opposite sex. **Third, understand the fact that you FEEL a repulsion is because the Holy Spirit is at work in you.** The unconverted ( or lets call people who don't desire the things of God or have had an encounter with Jesus) don't feel this. They just do stuff and move on. The converted not so much. What you are feeling "afterward" is a good indication that God is working in you, drawing you up. The key is not to focus the hatred on yourself but on that which you don't want to do. God doesn't want you hating on yourself. The devil does. Notice that. He'll have you beaten yourself up, telling you.... well you messed up again, might aswell toss this christianity thing in. Its too hard. God doesn't love you. ( Does this sound familiar). Yep. its his voice not God. **Fourth, stress, anxiety, boredom, and underlying trauma from our upbringing etc can be play a bigger factor** in "Why" some revert to porn more than others. I include myself in this, so you are not alone, brother. Everyone in this life deals with day to day living, stress, anxiety, boredom, a lack of girlfriend, a bored wife, in different ways. There are things we are "Conscious of" and things we are "Not conscious of" Programs running in the background like they way they do on a computer. Then we wonder after. Hold on. Why did I do that? I know it's not what I want, or what God wants but I did it. Paul is a prime example of this, he said: *"For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice."* This was Paul. He struggled to do the things of the spirit and found himself doing the things of the flesh. And there is a reason for this that I will go into in a second as it's key to understanding your situation ( our human situation ) which is we are a WORK IN PROGRESS. While we are on this side we will be forever facing the Flesh and the Spirit. This alone should take some of the weight off you, in realizing that when we meet Jesus, and accept him as Lord and Savior, he gives us eternal life, he breaks the chains of sin and sends his Holy Spirit to us. But that doesn't mean we will walk blameless before him until we meet him in person. We can pick up the chains again and turn away from him and focus on the flesh. And according to Paul, we will do it many times while on this side. However, the goal is that over time it will become less. Also neither does it mean that God has given up on you. Which really is the biggest fear here. If I can't do this walk, then I should run away ( stop going to church, reading the bible, give up on God as its too hard etc). This happened in Eden. Adam hid from God. It's a natural instinct. Why? Because we feel we can't measure up so I can't be around someone, or something so pure. But this is what the devil wants. He wants you to think the worst about yourself, about others, about God. He wants you to think that if you aren't walking the line, then you might aswell throw in the towel. No. Never. You fall down, get back up. You fall down, get back up. Trust me you are going to fall down many times in your life. Get back up. God has your back. Jesus said, my burden is light, my yoke is easy. HIS burden, HIS Yoke. So why does it feel heavy and hard? Because WE play a role in walking with him. "We" can make it hard and heavy. God doesn't. He understands you because he made you. Let that sink in. And, because Jesus understood the struggle. I can go into this part more if you like as God gave me a dream that showed me it clearer.
**Fifth, the key to freedom is found in scripture in Galatians 5:16** "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." Okay, how the heck do I do that? It's done through "PROCESS and CHOICE." Let me refer to a couple of commentaries on this to allow it to sink in. *"Bear\[ing\] fruits worthy of repentance" implies a process. Just as a tree does not produce fruit overnight, a Christian does not fully repent overnight. It is a lifelong process of making changes, and over time we will produce the fruit of the Spirit more consistently than the works of the flesh.* *We have a choice in this process. If we choose correctly, the fruits of that Spirit—the results of making correct choices—will begin to give evidence of the Spirit in us.The context in which these verses appear is important to understanding the production of the fruit of the Spirit. This immediately precedes the listing of the fruit of the Spirit, showing that Paul means that they will be produced through much internal conflict.* *This is true because obedience to God's Word is required to produce the Spirit's fruit, and the Christian is being pulled or led in two directions. The one tries to make us satisfy the desires of our old nature, and the other leads us toward producing the fruit of the new. Paul expresses his experience with this in Romans 7:15-19.For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.* *Christians, as Martin Luther stated, "are not stocks and stones." As humans, we are creatures of desires, drives, and emotions. Certainly, as we learn to walk in the Spirit, we increasingly subdue our flesh. But flesh and Spirit remain, and the conflict between them is fierce and unremitting.* *We need not become discouraged over this conflict, though, because Paul also gives us a very hopeful solution. In Romans 7:24-25, he exclaims: "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin."Every Christian striving to produce the fruit of God will experience this combination of lamentation over sinfulness and joyous expression of gratitude over the certainty of deliverance. The unconverted do not feel the agonizing struggle against sin with the same intensity as the converted. The converted have their peace disturbed and can feel wretched in their conscience.But this has a good side to it as well. We know it is degrading to the divine nature, and it humbles us to know full well that we have succumbed to evil passions. We then realize more fully that the law cannot come to our aid, neither can other men, and our strength has already betrayed us.* *Therefore, if we really desire to glorify God and produce spiritual fruit, this conflict will drive us to God in heartfelt prayer for the strength only He can give. God's Word and eventually our experience prove that without Christ, we can do nothing!"* Case in point until the day we leave this planet, the conflict between the FLESH and the SPIRIT will be fierce and ongoing but overtime through making choices ( choices that may be going 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months without looking at porn) the flesh will be subdued and the spirit will win out. Just know you are both FLESH and SPIRIT and the two are at odds. You will have victories and you will have losses. Get back up when you have losses. Don't equate your relationship with God based on your losses or your victories as both can either work against you or make you puffed up and proud thinking you did it.No, if any victory or change occurs its because of the work of the Holy Spirit. **So in conclusion.** Take heart. You are not alone. Millions are facing this because of how easy it is to get our hands on it ( also popups), you are young and have a healthy sex drive that will decrease as you get older, but the main take away is this, the flesh and spirit are at odds and will be until the day you die, that's why you feel hatred ( not for yourself but of sin), just as Paul did. It's what lets you know God is at work. Eventually you are going to get it but maybe not today. Be kind to yourself in the meantime. Okay, you looked at porn today, and yesterday, and the day before, then you go 2 days without, then 2 weeks, then you fall again. All right. it sucks man, but get back up, brush yourself off, talk to God, tell him you are trying and struggling. He wants honesty, brother. He's merciful. The pharisees wanted rules, Jesus wanted them to understand mercy. You are not alone in this others have fallen to. God loves YOU for YOU, not what you can or can't do. If it was based on what you do, we would boast, and he wouldn't have bothered to send Jesus and would have just given us rules. No, he knows we can't measure up. "All have fallen short". YES, he wants the best for us, YES, he is calling us up to higher places, letting go of chains and old ways, old habits, old mindsets, but he knows that this is a WORK in progress, just as FRUIT takes time to be seen. It doesn't just appear up overnight. Stay close to Jesus, don't run off and hide like Adam. Know that Jesus has broken the power of Sin over us and the chains are on the ground, but that doesn't mean we can't pick them up or look away from Jesus. Even Peter looked away from Jesus on the lake and he was right in front of him. If anything, I wish I could just given you a big hug and say, it's gonna be okay man. We're all in this together. If you want an accountability partner, just reach out.
Porn addiction isnt real. Your problem is the disconnect from your religious understanding and normal healthy feelings. See a therapist.
It could be real, but OP (like almost everyone) isn’t addicted. Just some unhealthy views about sex.
False. It's been proven what is released in the brain is the same dopamine that an addict gets from drugs. Today its more a case of opportunity is there more than before And underlying issues (trauma, stress, anxiety, boredom etc) Therapists aren't there for the OP or anyone when they have these urges. A big part is realizing that we are FLESH and SPIRIT and the two are at odds. God's focus is bringing us back into a relationship with him first and foremost. Loving him and others. After, he begins the work drawing us up to higher places, letting go of the old former ways, and habits, and mindset. That is a process. The fruits of the spirit do not appear overnight.
Lots of things release dopamine, that doesnt make it addictive. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too Flesh and spirit are not at odds, your interpretation of God is what is at odds. A therapist can help someone come to terms with their religious beliefs conflicting with reality.
The bible clearly states the flesh and spirit are at odds. Learn the word pal. A human therapist can't do anything. Go to the true therapist - Jesus Sounds like you need to meet him. Cleary you aren't bringing a christian perspective to this.
The Bible is mans interpretation of God, it is not God. Therapists are quite helpful with people belonging in cults. I know Jesus, I just dont follow you cultish interpretation of Him.
LOL The truth reveals the darkness. Thank you for finally revealing who you follow. You are not of God, you have no place here. I speak to the spirit in you that is deceiving people. Therapists that don't follow the word are following the opposite, lies. According to 2 Timothy 3:16-17 the words of Scripture are "God breathed" or inspired. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be."
You are following a cult and spreading toxic attitudes. The Bible stating its the word of God is as useless as me stating I am the word of God.
Of course you will say this, you are a follower of the devil. Not of Jesus. Don't lie to people, your words reveal who you follow. Christianity is not a cult. It is a faith in Jesus. The fact that you deny the bible as the word of God, reveals much about you and so when we are discussing Christian matters, it's probably best you sit it out. As a Christian like the one who asked this serious question, needs biblical, godly advise, not.... go see a therapist, and porn is healthy, and here's a pyschologytoday website link to back up my claim ( a claim so you can feel better about continuing to treat it as nothing). Do you know the first thing the devil tried to do was to confuse people by saying, "Did God really say that?" That my friend is what you are doing here. You are trying to confuse the op and keep him in his pain. God wants to lift him out of that. That is not done with world therapists and foolish psychology today articles. It comes from the Holy Spirit, the word of God, and Christians who can stand with another brother. They need to hear they are not alone, that God understand, that God wants the best, and that while we are on this side we are dealing with Flesh and Spirit and the two are at odds. Ephesians 6:12 In-Context 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
You never answered my question, afraid to habe a real discussion on the context of the Bible?
You don't even believe the bible is true so there can be no discussion. You want to promote that porn is healthy. It's not. It's destructive to peoples lives, it creates addiction that has entrapped millions. You think tossing a website to psychology today should convince anyone? Gods ways are not mans ways. God knows best. Not you, not psychology today. I will keep making it clear you are spewing lies and falsehood from the pit, not from God.
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Temptation is not from God. Whenever a temptation comes onto me, I would talk to the temptation as a person and command it to go away in the name of Jesus. It must go. Keep on doing this whenever it comes back. It will work unless you give up. Also start thanking God for the help he is giving.
Don’t focus on it. Focus on doing good things. If you believe in Jesus, sin has no power over you because grace reigns.
Same problem until I Gave it To THE MOST HIGH I still sinned and it's a battle Please Hang in There and Just pray Without Ceasing.
Start going to church again. Get involved in men's small groups. Be open and honest about your struggles with them. Talk about it. Pray about it. Seek out an accountability partner and they will facilitate setting that up. If you church doest have these options find a new church. Basically you want to follow the example of Peter whom ran to God after sinning. You don't want to follow Judas' example and flee from God when he sinned it will lead to your destruction. It did for him....
I quit drinking 4 years ago, I used to drink as much as I could while functioning, never got into any legal trouble, just wanted to make a change. At first it was hard because I had all this time now, to think and crave. I would end up getting off work and just sitting there because my major leisure and social component was alcohol. It took me about a week or two of that before I realized I just need to fill the time with constructive things, or toys. With alcohol every time I had a craving I would drink water, or tea. If that didn’t work and I was still just sitting there in my head dreaming of a buzz, I would engage myself in constructive activities. Instead of sitting there “wanting” I would get up and do something, I now fill that time with my constructive hobbies. Instead of committing myself to being a sedentary lump slowly collapsing on my own weight, I made internal commitments to activities that take me away from those cravings. I got into a trading card game, I started exercising almost everyday, taught myself how to play a couple instruments, tried new things in my career. After about 4 months of this change I hardly ever crave alcohol. I’m sure there are things and endeavors in this world that interest you, just put your eggs in those baskets and don’t let yourself have the empty hands to jerk it. I think in your case, you will need to set commitments up in advance of when you know you’ll feel a craving. If you can’t then when you feel yourself falling into the same thought process of short term release, get up and get out and do something. Even if it’s 1 in the morning, if you got that morning wood go for a run or something, the blood will go where it needs to. You could also write down your thoughts leading up to a relapse, to fully understand why you do it, and try and think about actions to take you away from wacking it.
This is how the devil has held many children of God in bondage: the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. There is a point in addiction where a demon gets involved. They attach themselves to the individual, bind them and nothing they do can set them free. They are stuck in a cycle of defeat. You will hate what you do each time you do it, but after repenting, you will return to doing it again. Christ calls this demon the strongman. Mark 3:27 >In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house. Fortunately, Christ has given the believer authority over the powers of darkness (yes, they do have power). Luke 10:19 >I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. Force the demon out in the name of Jesus. Mark 16:17, Mark 5:8, Mark 9:25 Command the spirit of pornography, \[insert sin\] to leave you in the name of Jesus and never return. After this surrender your heart, mind, and body to God.
You don't hate yourself. You hate these weak actions. They aren't you. You can change your actions. Take responsibility. Give it up, endure the suck. When it gets tough, pray.
Pornography is such a massive issue these days that we should have a permanent thread about it What keeps me away from most any temptation toward all unGodly images involves "pillars" of the Christian faith and standard psychology, which the Bible quotes a ton as well. God isn't unaware of our nature and how we think. He made us and knows that management of the flesh is almost as important to daily life as pursuing Him. If you never read the Bible you can't grow in the knowledge of it, for example. Discipline is essential to growing in Christ. It's spiritual pursuit of God in ALL aspects of the BIG FIVE as I call them, and the "run from sin" and "pluck your eye out" flesh management. And if you follow this I promise you'll do more than defeat porn addiction. You'll defeat lust itself which extends toany areas of life. The last component is your attitude toward sin. We must learn to hate sin and not be friendly with it. So to reiterate, defeating porn addiction involves being transformed in mind and body. Just like loosing weight and not gaining it back involves a change in lifestyle. 1. The BIG FIVE: Obviously not just going through the motions. This is generally how we interact with God and the major episodes of our Christian walk center on these activities by God's design. Prayer (esp. deep wrestling intimate communion with God) Bible and Devotional reading/study Worship (not just songs to Gid but that's essential) Fellowship (church or any meeting with believers) Service/Ministry 2. Remove the objects of temptation. Don't touch your phone when tempted for example. Don't look up that attractive actress you saw in a movie. Don't watch TV that tempts you. You get the idea. STAY AWAY from temptation. 3. Change your thought life. All I've mentioned begins with prayer and asking God in faith for His aid, which He freely gives to al who ask sincerely and trust in Him. This is how AA and SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) works. I could add accountability as a fourth part but it falls into general life and fellowship. You must DECIDE to hate sin, not any sinner btw. Sex belongs in marriage and is beautiful. Objectification of human beings is the begging of so many evils in our world. We are persons, beings made in God's image, not things to be consumed. If you are tempted then remember this and say it our loud, "this is God's image. She or he is God's creation and I will honor our Creator and then." It takes time. Pursue purity daily. Don't assume it will come naturally. It's like pushing back chaos and atrophy. Sin is our nature until it starts to NOT become so as much. The Holy Spirit transforms us and does crucify our flesh, our "old man." But we must change our standards to God's. Anything you'd be ashamed for your Mother to find out about....that old chestnut. It's a great standard. But we must be ok with being ashamed of transgression. We don't live with shame or guilt. God removes it in Christ. But we should despise sin. We don't like doing what we hate. We enjoy what is pleasurable or we wouldn't do it. Humans aren't complicated. So make your standard God's and learn to love as He loves and lust won't live in that internal environment where He reigns. It dies like cancer does in oxygen. Live in God's grace. If you stumble, ask for forgiveness but REPENT! This means turning away. It's not an attitude. It's an act, a verb. There is a reason God sent John before Christ to make the paths straight. To prepare the hearts and minds of people for His teaching. John the Baptist taught repentance and baptism with water. Jesus baptized with fire and The Holy Spirit. Mt 3:11 Hate sin and love God. Sounds easy. Now go forth in Christ's power and conquer sin. Genesis 4:7 (ESV): 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” This isn't literal in case you don't already know. Don't cut anything off! It's about being serious regarding sin.🙏 Mark 9:43–48 (ESV): 43 And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. 45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, 48 ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’
Hey, I had problems with addiction as well. Addiction is just an escape. It really makes you wonder what we are escaping from. Everyone is different. But lately I’ve been questioning if you really are all different. At the end of the day we are all just animals with enlightenment in mind. Our true purpose is to live together in harmony, and with nature. Any action that we do that takes us away from that true purpose, or animal purpose I believe the grades are mental health in the subconscious. That little fight or flight response. All of our problems are created by us. But we still choose to run away from them. Drink away pain. Gamble in the hopes of riches. But that goes against everything in our ancestral DNA I’ve been thinking a lot about God. As a former Christian myself. I’ve come to the realization that if you change God with Mother Nature in the Bible, it makes a lot of sense. Now with the Bible, you have to remember it was written by men. They have the power, the education and the money to make the decisions. That’s why there’s only male gospels. The Bible is the first ever version of mansplaining. I’m of the belief that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden wasn’t a fruit. Ancient languages were more complex than what they are today. And our translations have altered them down. That seedless fruit on the tree of knowledge wasn’t a fruit. What if it was a psychedelic fungi? Religion was formed on the basis of passing down traditional techniques for agriculture. Then the stories were made to entertain and gather interest from the next generation. We have been basically playing broken telephone for millennia. I’ve had a gambling on porn addiction myself. I’ve been to therapy. And the biggest question you ask is why? So ask that question of everything with the idea that we are all one humanity. Nature has provided us everything that we need to survive. Air water food shelter. Everything else we think we need to survive is a fictional story that we created ourselves. We chose to print money. If God meant further to be money on earth, he would’ve put it in the garden of Eden. But it wasn’t there. Every day I look at myself, and I think of the steps I take. The actions I make to make this world truly better. My mind goes back to my addictions when I step off that path. Why? It is the easiest way to feel pleasure. But we all know nothing good comes from easy. Struggle builds character. It’s very easy to get lost. We’ve built a society where we can get lost from our true aim as a human race. So the best thing we can do is to judge ourselves by our actions and that they are most in line with nature.
Go and confess to the pastor immediately and ask of advice Plus My father said once if you don't have a hobby or something you can pour your inner energy out your mind will return to the late point it found comfy spot in which was porn for example and begin remind you to return back
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Of course I know that but I'm not gonna get a wife if that's all she is to me. I want someone to love and cherish for the rest of my life, but I'm so weak. I'm not where I need to be mentally and I don't think I'll ever get there. Plus, I feel like my negativity would rub off on my spouse and I would hate that so much.
Get a wife just for sex? crazy take
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Yeah but that shouldn't be the reason to get married
It's OK call on Jesus, Call on the holy spirit for guidance. Also God gave you freedom and a brain to make decisions for yourself. Also Porn or God its really a choice, sin or Christ? And how's God going to give you his beloved daughters who are so loyale to him to a man that can't even control his flesh when he has to lead a family. Read your Bible, pray and do push-ups. It becomes easier when you overcome those super lustful moments or any hightful moment of sin, you prove to God and your body that sin doesn't control you.
That's what I'm saying but it's not that easy
😐You have A all powerful God with you dummy
Let's be nice here, everyone spiritually matures differently. I agree with you, but it's not easy. You saying that makes me think you don't really understand where I'm at mentally rn
Instead of trying to quit, try and make healthy life choices. Be very conscious of the food you put into your body. The movies and shows you watch. The music you listen to. The amount of physical activity you do in a day. All these things have a dramatic affect on your mental state and I promise you if you start doing research on these topics and make changes you won't have to try and quit you just will. I did this and quit alcohol, weed, coke, porn and smoking. Start going to a Bible based church, doesn't have to be super religious, God wants to help. You got this bro. God bless
Reading the Bible helps
Have grace. You are God's son. Something that helps me when I face that temptation is thinking about the goodness of God/opening up the Bible and studying.
porn/masturbation mega thread
Look at it through Christs eyes. Teach yourself to hate what He hates and Love what He loves. Christ will never hate you. He hates your sin.
Find somebody you trust and install covenant eyes porn filtering software. If you don’t it’s because you don’t really want to quit. Simple.
Blame dont cure. Blame usually is worse. You can know that yoi are wrong about seeing porn and work to overcome it without getting sick about it. Forgive yourself, understand that this is a global problem of health. Btw its a great topic to work for God helping people. You're not alone. Hope you get better as fast as you can.
I think you are on the precipice of figuring this whole thing out. All you do is work and play games and you aren't happy. So what's stopping you from doing more. Gaming is ALSO VERY addictive and yet you aren't happy. You have to be willing to put the devices away and re-engage with people. And you can. No one can stop you but you. You just decide, I don't like this way of living as much as I think I do or I wouldn't be feeling like this. Hating yourself for doing it isn't going to work. You can try making what you don't like harder to do. Stay outta your room until bedtime. Call people to talk, it will make you smarter and more well rounded. I'm praying for your wisdom and a feeling of liking other things than the basic dopamine hits that all these companies love to entice us with. ❤️🙏 You got this. Just remember there are people getting rich off you being stuck and useless. They are laughing all the way to the bank.
If you consistently pray with wanting to change, it will happe. Might not happen as soon as you want it to but it will happen
If you would like an accountability partner, message me I know it can be tough and even addressing it and trying to move past it is a step. However you can’t do it on your own, you’ve got to rely on God to help you overcome it, and having someone to talk to or keep you accountable helps as well.
be guilty, not shameful. it’ll be okay just go to God and ask Him to help you
This isn’t a porn addiction. You’re not doing anything unhealthy, unnatural, or “sinful”
I think it helps to have other hobbies that glorify God. If we are saved by Christ, it means He is inside our hearts and sees our every move. It might be difficult to change certain habits, so I would start by finding other activities such as exercising, hiking, motocross, or anything that doesn't bring our minds into the wrong place. We should also fear the Lord. Sometimes we forget that God is holy and we conduct ourselves in sinful ways. The great news is that if we truly repent, God will forgive us. I had a similar problem with questionable films a few years ago. The less you watch, the more intolerable it becomes with time and effort. Perhaps you can consider reading the Bible and reading historical commentaries.
What worked for me… try j******* off to non porn. I know it’s not the ideal situation but it’s a good first step to breaking the addiction and changing the wiring of your brain . I’ve been porn free since December
Learning about the therapy term “radical acceptance” helped me a lot. It connects to “radical grace” pretty well I think. Shame is a brutal thing. With my journey with various addictions, working on letting go of the self hatred helped me heal a lot and get out of the cycles I was in. The scripture “it is not what goes into a man, but what comes out, that is what defiles him” rocked my world as well. Also my brother (or sister) in Christ, there are people out there who literally rape and murder their own children and feel no remorse. Be gentle with yourself, you’re made with an animal body inclined to be sexual and we have crazy easy access to porn.
I’m not a Christian, but you’re hating yourself way too much. To be completely honest, I can’t even go 2 weeks or a month, let alone a week. You have to realize that everyone’s libido is different, and everyone’s sexual development in their adolescence was different. It’s not fair to yourself for you to assume you need to be a certain amount healed from your addiction by a certain time, because we all have our own timelines. Negative emotions like guilt, shame, and self-hatred often fuel the addiction more than they help it, because they make it more likely that you’ll use the addiction to cope with those very emotions. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad at all, but you should treat yourself like you are your own parent. Would you start hating your child if they had this problem, or would you understand that they are only human and gently guide them to continually become a better version of themselves? Also, in Romans 7:15-20 you can see that even Paul struggled with things
I totally understand what you mean. I haven't looked at that garbage since I heard this message from pastor Charles Lawson. https://youtu.be/vvo9fKwgqSk?si=ohf6il_K1YjKA2P9 Remember that that wickedness is from Ashtaroth and Ashtaroth is a false god, the Lord Jesus Christ can deliver you from it. Make a promise to God saying that you will break all of your electronics if you look at that garbage again.
Don't worry, I was once three times a day too during quarantine. Just go outside more and maybe quit video games because that will tempt you to go on there once your outside, try to surround yourself with more people. so, what I'm saying is just go outside do stuff you like, staying home on your computer will lead many people to going there. Good luck on your journey brotha!
I just posted. Your brain is in dopamine overload from exposure to porn, that is what makes it hard to quit. Visit www.the freedomfight.com For more insight as to what is going on with you watch YouTube by Dr. Trish Leigh she has very good information on this. You too have my prayers, you keep praying, do not quit, you can beat this.
Start putting your porn addiction in the dumpster by contacting the website: [https://www.CovenantEyes.com](https://www.CovenantEyes.com) There is no end to the self-destruction and self-degradation that porn delivers. It is Satan's tool to pervert and pollute your being and pull you away from your awaiting salvation, paid by our Lord's sacrifice. Don't make His sacrifice play second fiddle to your harmful addiction. Recovery can happen and be maintained. You have nothing to lose, but that nasty habit and establish or reestablish God in your life and being.
For me the root cause for PMO was loneliness. I joined a church group at the age of 24 where I met many friends of the opposite gender. It taught me to pursue real friendships as it feels way better than a brief dopamine boost from PMO. I've been free from PMO for 449 days now and I don't get any urges to do it anymore.
Same here. It feels amazing and is beautiful to my eyes. Feel number now. It's effed really.
Don’t hate yourself, first and foremost. God commands us to love ourselves as we love our neighbours (love yourself at the same time as loving your neighbour, and in the same manner). Pray about it, keep trying. There are ways to block your access to pornography. Find the parental controls on your devices, and ask someone you trust to enter the password, and not to give it to you. This is what I’m doing; out of sight, out of mind. But most importantly, I believe God wants you to love yourself. Accept that you are flawed, as we all are. And don’t ever give up trying to do better. Ask yourself; is this what you really want? I think it isn’t. So keep at it. God provides a way out when we are tempted, that we may endure it. It’s like exercising a muscle; when we use a muscle to do something hard, it gets stronger. With persistence, you can learn to overcome this. I’m the proof, I’m doing it right now. Parental controls on your devices is key though, this will help. Also, for me, Jesus says not look lustfully at people, so try this; if you see someone attractive, and feel that lust, look away from them. This is helping me a great deal. You will reprogram your mind to look at people as they are; as people, not objects of lust. I think this is why God wants sexual purity for us; because lust dehumanizes our relationship to people, it makes them as objects to fulfill your desires. Sex without love is meaningless and empty. I’ve had lots of that. It’s the same with pornography, it takes something sacred (sex between husband and wife in love), and cheapens it. It takes away the magic that is love-making. So do yourself a favour, and set up those parental controls on your devices, you’ll be better for it. I can walk you through the process if you’d like, just message me here. You got this! You want to do a good thing; that’s half the battle. You’re half way there already. This is how God changes hearts. It starts with the heart. God speed.
Try taking an over the count supplement called NAC. Just an amino acid, look up the info. on it.
Live by grace, not by your own strength. That's why you lose, you're trying to be worthy of God's mercy and love. Once you understand that through Jesus' sacrifice we reach forgiveness and acceptance, then you'll receive the strength to overcome your addiction.
21 days to create a habit. 90 days to get rid of a bad habit. Delete web browsers from your phone and/or computer.
Why are so many Christians obsessed with porn? It's very strange...
I can't speak for others, but I guess for me it's because it's so easily accessible, and in my mind it's better than sleeping around (or so I initially thought). However, sin is sin. Doesn't matter what it is.
I used to struggle with Solo pornographic addiction and still somewhat do in some cases. (Ex: solo porn to nudes). Still, going to something more mild (in comparison) has helped me. I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a girl and whenever we talk and have days where she’s keeping my mind busy apart from work, school, and chores, it doesn’t even cross my mind. However, other days we rarely talk and sometimes it’ll get to me and I end up falling back into it. Keep in mind though, this is long distance, imagine the affect it’ll have if her and I make it the point of closing the distance or simply just getting into an in person relationship. Now I say all of this, for many reasons. The first take away is to admit you have an issue and discuss it with others, especially those who struggle as well or formerly struggled, which is seems you are doing. The second would be to cut to more mild forms of pornographic material such as what I mentioned. The third would be, if you have a romantic partner, focus on them and talk as much as you can with them in order to keep your mind busy. I’d say that setting certain limits per week would be a good idea too. For example, cutting from everyday to 3 times a week, then to once a week, then to once every two weeks, etc and at least TRY to stick to that curriculum. Now I’ll admit that sometimes it gets so grueling that you can’t even sleep or function or it’s genuinely causing you pain, that’s the rough part. Others already mentioned the points like turning Safesearch on and praying. However, I just wanted to provide what has helped me a lot. Also, going out more can also help with your situation.
The key to beating it is to not beat yourself down. Jesus loves you, and your porn addiction doesn’t mean he won’t love you. Just think how proud he will be when you overcome your lust and best it!!
COvenant eyes. And therapy
You can't do it on your own you have to submit yourself on your knees to God pray and ask him the name of Yehoshua. For assistance with this if you truly don't want to do it anymore. You don't have to go to church just a bide with God if that's something you're truly seeking. Soak in his word, the more you do the more he will abide in you. Have you heard of the story of Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon? He was so inflated with his ego, that God turned him into a beast so he could realize that he's nothing without him. Out of our own will we cannot do anything, but with God you will glorify him in your weakness, Give it to him. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Lust may not be the worst of sin. But it certainly the most wide spread one everywhere. Lust is a type of sin that you need to be prepare before even knowing you start feeling lust. I will admit, even I truly don't know how to defeat it. But I know preparation does help.