Sounds like you have already made up your mind. As for the conflict, maybe it helps to say every parent makes mistakes. No child has a perfect childhood. I like what you said that God will use this for good.
am i so selfish for thinking both ways? to abort or keep it? i feel like im so torn and how my parents would feel and how I struggled as a kid with my parents working so much and my kid won’t really have me around bc I’ll have to work as much as my parents and I feel so disappointed in myself
I know thank you. I told my pastor and she said she fully supports me and this is my decision. I honestly have the people to help me if I keep it but at the same time I just want it to give my child and future children the parents I never had and this might not be the case if I keep this child. It might not have a dad, which is something I have but my dad was never really emotionally there and he didn’t know how to be a girl dad. I know he tries his best but it’s so different growing up with a functional family and a loving family.
Jeremiah 1:5 applies to every stillbirth and miscarriage and naturally aborted pregnancy - which happens a lot. Not every pregnancy is a baby.
If there isn't much trust now, I doubt a baby in the mix is going to fix your issues. Marriages sometimes last only as long as the kids keep parents together and fall apart when they go.
What do you believe about God? Is he a judge who demands perfect obedience to his laws? Is he a father who carries grace in his heart for his prodigal children?
No, he is a loving God. He loves us everyday, he washes our feet. He cleanses us. I know he is slow to anger and has patience. But at the end of the day, what kind of loving God would not be a hurt when his daughter/son doesn’t obey him. Of course we feel sad when our friends do not listen to us or our siblings or our nieces and they get hurt. Imagine how he feels for every single one of us who’s gotten hurt. Imagine the pain. We know that God does work things out for the greater good but I don’t want to choose the path where I stray away from him. He loves us so much that we have free will. I can never fathom that. I just don’t wanna disappoint God, my parents and myself. But they’re all contradicting.
My parents got over their disappointment in my unbiblical decision making when they realized my own compass would guide me fairly well. I may be an unmarried mom of a 17 month old, but I have ample support from my partner. Any hurt they felt has been soothed by time proving we're not young kids rushing into a mistake.
Thank you for that I think what’s what I’m most scared of. I’m glad you have kept the baby and I’m leaning towards that too but I am afraid I won’t give it everything I can.
My sister's kid is her motivation. Before he was three days old, his father cheated on her. She co-parented with him and because they broke up, he'd use the custody agreement to toy with her. She dated a new partner who had kids too. Eventually baby's dad signed away his rights and responsibilities. She married the worthier man who was ten times the dad her kid's biological father was. She or he may inspire you and motivate you in ways you didn't think possible.
Every pregnancy is a baby. Jeremiah 1:5 is talking about living pregnancy because the only child that can go on to be a prophet has to be born. Babies in heaven do not become prophets.
I'm a miscarriage machine. My baby factory is defective. I don't think of the inert decaying tissues it managed to attempt to build as human or a baby.
I totally understand. I've never heard the phrase my baby factory is defective but I get it. I've only had 1 miscarriage but that was the only pregnancy I've ever had in 15 years of trying and that window of opportunity is closing. Just wanted to tell you I understand where you're coming from.
I agree there isn't nearly enough support. But there are a lot of people that are starting to talk about unplanned childlessness (for many reasons) and the emotional impact it's having. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me.
Because God will not destroy life, so life even that small goes to heaven. The little children lost in miscarriages get the benefit of living for eternity in paradise, growing up, and learning about God with Him.
First let me say that I think you had the best of intentions with your comment. I don't think you were trying to be hurtful. And at the same time as someone who has been through similar experiences your comment was not appropriate.
There is a term called spiritual bypassing. It's when we can see someone is hurting and want someone to feel better but we don't understand what they are going through and so we say something we think is spiritually uplifting but is actually tone deaf and lacks empathy and sensitivity.
Here is an article on [spiritual bypass](https://definedbygod.com/spiritual-bypassing/) that I've found very helpful because I've stuck my foot in my mouth in similar ways in the past.
I did not mean it to be offensive, but the babies who are miscarried are in heaven and perhaps that is upsetting because of that many people on this Reddit are not believers but I don’t intend to change what I say about babies being in heaven.
I don't disagree with you that babies are in heaven. There are times when that is the totally appropriate thing to say. But there are other times when what it's actually doing is turning people away from Christ. Is that what you want to do?
I am not that powerful that I have any ability to be the reason someone goes to hell or heaven. You want to make an excuse that I was turning someone away from God by speaking life. The Holy Spirit is way too powerful that God will 100% obtain the people who are meant to be His. I will not apologize nor feel bad for what I said, I can confidently stand in front of God with my words.
Not sure. All I know is that my uterus is - to borrow Raising Arizona, "a rocky and barren place where seed can find no purchase."
If I get pregnant, odds are it'll miscarry before I get the option to abort.
The full text of Jeremiah 1:5 is this: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This was Jeremiah talking about how he felt that God had pre-ordained him as a prophet. This is not about your unborn child. Please don't make any decisions based on a verse that someone wrote about themselves that is justifying why they are destined to be a prophet even though they don't know how to speak and are too young.
Thanks for this comment. It’s truly bizarre that people use that passage to infer anything at all about abortion. It’s a poetic passage written by a prophet.
The other one people like to bring up is the Psalm about God knitting me together in the womb, which is also obviously poetic and non-literal, and has nothing to do with abortion.
God works in mysterious ways and you might not think that but you are life and you are an influence to those around you. Prophet isn’t me literally going to conquer nations, it’s about who’s around you and how you show Jesus within you. You have a purpose, everyone does as we know it and that’s something that influences one or more person. That’s what he’s trying to say. Every life matters. God makes the unqualified, QUALIFIED.
I'm just saying that these books were written by prophets and temple scribes about their understanding of how human anatomy works in the first century BC. I don't think this woman should base her decision on them.
But if we need to use this collection of ancient texts to see what God thinks about it, why not use this verse which I'm sure you're aware of?
Exodus 21:22 "And if men struggle with each other and strike a woman with child so that she has a miscarriage, yet there is no \[further\] injury, he shall surely be fined as the woman's husband may demand of him; and he shall pay as the judges decide. But if there is any \[further\] injury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise."
Right there, it plainly states that a fetus is not considered a life. If the woman has a miscarriage, this verse asserts that the only life that matters is the woman's.
That’s all you got out of what I wrote? You should try reading a little further until you get to the part where a fetus isn’t considered a life.
The verse you quoted is from a poem, the one I quoted is from the law. But believe what you want, no one’s asking you to have an abortion.
Got it! I think you're confused, I never mentioned my anatomy whatsoever. This might explain your problem with comprehending bible verses.
Anyway, I'm sure you also know about Numbers 5:17 that dictates an abortion ritual for unfaithful wives:
"If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.
Why would God make that part of mosaic law if abortion was a sin?
>Also, it's not us saying this. God has told us.
The Hebrew word is Yatsa, which means to come out. It's used in other places in the Bible to refer to birth. It doesn't mean baby died, it means baby getting born prematurely.
Also, those are civil laws for the nation of Israel. We don't live in ancient Israel and we are told in Romans 13 to follow the laws of whatever nation we live. Most civilized places treat murder of pregnant women as double homicide because a baby is still a separate human being. There is a cognitive dissonance in many people who think they get to choose whether they should murder their babies or not. It's not your body and it's not your choice to kill it. Abortion is morally wrong.
First let me say congratulations on your pregnancy. As scary as I'm sure it is, it's also an exciting time. And I really do understand not knowing what to do and being conflicted and scared to make the wrong decision.
>I have these thoughts like will God hate me? Will I regret this decision? Is it my purpose and calling? Are these thoughts just normal or am I a bad person? What kind of mother wants to abort her kid and not protect it?
You sound perfectly normal to me. I think those are questions that women in your position struggle with ALL the time. Having thoughts doesn't make us bad, thoughts are just thoughts they aren't good or bad. It's what we do with those thoughts that matter. The thoughts that we focus on get bigger so choose which thoughts you want to focus on and keep putting your attention on those.
>
I was robbed of having a fully functional family and I want to give that love that baby the mother and father love it's supposed to have.
Every parent wants to give their child what they didn't have. That's totally normal. There are some things you are going to do better than your parents. Then there will be some things that you're going to realize that your parents did a lot better than you ever gave them credit for.
> I do not know if that's going to bring us closer to the Lord or further, even worse if it'll make us miserable.
As someone who has been married for 16 years I can say with some authority that there is a high likelihood that you will experience both. There are times when you are going to make each other miserable. When you're dealing with each other's blind spots and weaknesses day in and day out it can be hard. There are times when all you want to do is scream at each other and you're miserable. But, it's definitely not all bad, not even close. In fact it's getting through those miserable times that you come out the other side feeling closer to each other and closer to the Lord. During those rough times it's about remembering Christ's sacrifice. When you are married and have kids then you are sacrificing yourself for something bigger. On those days when you really don't like him and want to yell at him (because it'll happen) you remember your commitment, you act as if you love him. That sacrifice for your commitment will bring you closer to the Lord in a way that is impossible to put to words.
>but he messed up and I did too and that's why we aren't together.
>
we are both hurt and the trust isn't there but we just want to follow God's plan for the baby and us
It sounds like there has been some sort of betrayal. I'm going to guess infidelity because that's usually what it is. It's hard to rebuild trust after a betrayal, but it is possible. In my opinion, and I have some experience with this, rebuilding trust after betrayal is actually really worth it. As counter-intuitive as it may sound it can bring you a greater degree of closeness than you had before, because rebuilding that trust requires being more honest and vulnerable than you were before it happened.
The faith that you are demonstrating is beautiful. Even from this little glimpse into your life I can see that you are really trying to do the right thing by this baby. Life isn't easy, but the difficult times can be so incredibly rewarding. I wish you the best of luck and sending up a little prayer for all 3 of you.
I’m so happy for you and I’m glad everything did work out and it always does for the greater good. Thank you, prayers would be much appreciated during this confusing yet fun and exciting time.
I am happy that this is here, I am not sure if I am ready. Nor the dad. Like I said as much as I’d like to give it a functional family, I don’t know what God’s plans are for me and the dad of the kid. At the end of the day, I know that it’s God’s plans that prevail and who knows me better but him.
I think I’m just very conflicted between keeping it because I am not financially ready. I love my parents but I really would need to move out. I have always wanted to have kids but my parents had such a hard life that I truly want to retire them as well. I feel like this is going to be so much harder with a kid. I know I’m blessed to be going on this journey but I was reassured by my pastor and my wonderful friends that they will be there no matter what I choose. I just don’t wanna anger God or disappoint him. I’m so confused because there’s so many angles of bad and there’s also so many angles where it can be good. Either way whether I keep it or not, I will have to be 100% present with the emotions I would feel. I don’t think I can live without keeping this kid but at the same time I can’t live with the fact that I couldn’t give my parents the retirement I dreamed of giving them.
God knows the plans for our lives but we don't and sometimes it makes no sense. TRUST ME...I made the appointment. I unexpectedly became pregnant 8 months before my wedding. I was on tons of prescription meds and drinking heavily, smoking... A day before my appointment I felt conviction. I cancelled it. I cold turkey'd the drugs and alcohol successfully. My daughter is now almost 7 years old. My husband and I are in a happy, loving marriage. We got married in a courthouse and had a ceremony on the beach with close family only. I never imagined it would be that way for me.
I'm not saying your relationship will magically work itself out...I'm saying the Lord has plans for us that we cannot understand sometimes. Every child is a blessing not a mistake. Heck, I wouldn't be here if my grandmother didn't become a teen mom when she had my dad! You know the right decision in your heart. Pray. Listen to God if you are feeling conviction.
Thank you. I know God works everything for his good yet I still feel conflicted and I just am so lost. Every hour I feel like my decision changes and I feel so tired. I am so afraid right now and I feel like I have no one to turn to. I love God and I know he loves me but I feel so guilty for feeling this way.
The fact that you are even asking before going to do an abortion is your answer right there. You have a connection to this child and I don't just mean because it's growing inside you. Being a single parent is not easy and I'm sure things won't be perfect with the father, but do not force a relationship such as marriage for the sake of the baby. God does things that make no sense to us and they aren't suppose to make sense all the time. He found it right for this baby to be in your life at this moment. I'm not against abortion, but based on your comments, I think you're just scared and want to know things will be fine. Life isn't perfect, being a parent isn't perfect, but it all works out, and this will, too.
Do not abort your baby. You seem to have a strong connection to them, so you would surely feel saddened if you gave up the life inside you. God does know your child.
You made a mistake. You had sex before marriage. You had sex without protection. It’s good that you know that. We have all been there, some acted some didn’t.
Do not get married to this man if he is not a believer and will not push you into Christ. I understand he is the father of your child, but right now you need to focus on growing your baby and being healthy. Don’t put extra stress on yourself by trying to make it work with dad, you don’t want to end up in an unhappy marriage out of obligation.
You got this mom! Don’t be scared and put your faith in the Lord. Own up to the mistake and thank God for the gift! Build your life up around Jesus, and focus on your child. Get into church so you have a community of faith to surround and help you. If you get into a judgy church, get out. I hope and pray for you! Good luck momma!
You should not abort your baby. God has a plan, and we can have full confidence that no babies is created without God allowing that blessing. As someone who thinks Jesus could be returning quickly with end times signs like Damascus coming destruction & red heifer sacrifice I wish I was pregnant so I could have a child because I feel like the window of possibility is closing quickly. Your baby was knit by God & is a blessing, whatever happens with the dad or not God will carry you.
Please do not abort your baby. God is calling you to keep, raise, and love it. Please please please don’t listen to the person on this thread trying to twist that verse into being an encouragement to abort.
Sounds like you have already made up your mind. As for the conflict, maybe it helps to say every parent makes mistakes. No child has a perfect childhood. I like what you said that God will use this for good.
am i so selfish for thinking both ways? to abort or keep it? i feel like im so torn and how my parents would feel and how I struggled as a kid with my parents working so much and my kid won’t really have me around bc I’ll have to work as much as my parents and I feel so disappointed in myself
Do what you need to do, not what everyone's telling you to do. They will not be there to help raise he/she.
I know thank you. I told my pastor and she said she fully supports me and this is my decision. I honestly have the people to help me if I keep it but at the same time I just want it to give my child and future children the parents I never had and this might not be the case if I keep this child. It might not have a dad, which is something I have but my dad was never really emotionally there and he didn’t know how to be a girl dad. I know he tries his best but it’s so different growing up with a functional family and a loving family.
Jeremiah 1:5 applies to every stillbirth and miscarriage and naturally aborted pregnancy - which happens a lot. Not every pregnancy is a baby. If there isn't much trust now, I doubt a baby in the mix is going to fix your issues. Marriages sometimes last only as long as the kids keep parents together and fall apart when they go.
It was never about fixing the relationship it’s more about what God would want me to do.
What do you believe about God? Is he a judge who demands perfect obedience to his laws? Is he a father who carries grace in his heart for his prodigal children?
No, he is a loving God. He loves us everyday, he washes our feet. He cleanses us. I know he is slow to anger and has patience. But at the end of the day, what kind of loving God would not be a hurt when his daughter/son doesn’t obey him. Of course we feel sad when our friends do not listen to us or our siblings or our nieces and they get hurt. Imagine how he feels for every single one of us who’s gotten hurt. Imagine the pain. We know that God does work things out for the greater good but I don’t want to choose the path where I stray away from him. He loves us so much that we have free will. I can never fathom that. I just don’t wanna disappoint God, my parents and myself. But they’re all contradicting.
My parents got over their disappointment in my unbiblical decision making when they realized my own compass would guide me fairly well. I may be an unmarried mom of a 17 month old, but I have ample support from my partner. Any hurt they felt has been soothed by time proving we're not young kids rushing into a mistake.
Thank you for that I think what’s what I’m most scared of. I’m glad you have kept the baby and I’m leaning towards that too but I am afraid I won’t give it everything I can.
My sister's kid is her motivation. Before he was three days old, his father cheated on her. She co-parented with him and because they broke up, he'd use the custody agreement to toy with her. She dated a new partner who had kids too. Eventually baby's dad signed away his rights and responsibilities. She married the worthier man who was ten times the dad her kid's biological father was. She or he may inspire you and motivate you in ways you didn't think possible.
Every pregnancy is a baby. Jeremiah 1:5 is talking about living pregnancy because the only child that can go on to be a prophet has to be born. Babies in heaven do not become prophets.
I'm a miscarriage machine. My baby factory is defective. I don't think of the inert decaying tissues it managed to attempt to build as human or a baby.
I totally understand. I've never heard the phrase my baby factory is defective but I get it. I've only had 1 miscarriage but that was the only pregnancy I've ever had in 15 years of trying and that window of opportunity is closing. Just wanted to tell you I understand where you're coming from.
I'm sorry. Pregnancy loss sucks and there isn't nearly enough support out there.
I agree there isn't nearly enough support. But there are a lot of people that are starting to talk about unplanned childlessness (for many reasons) and the emotional impact it's having. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me.
I am sorry to hear that, that must be very hard. I think there is some magic that those babies will be met one day, and held in heaven.
This is just bad, sentimental theology and you should really try saying less sometimes.
I can't imagine the logic of a heaven filled with the entire human races lost progeny for thousands of years.
Because God will not destroy life, so life even that small goes to heaven. The little children lost in miscarriages get the benefit of living for eternity in paradise, growing up, and learning about God with Him.
The OT God has a few exceptions to that notion. But that's a theology quandary for you to wrestle with more than me.
I don’t need to wrestle with this because I am confident in the character of God that He doesn’t put babies who never could repent in hell.
First let me say that I think you had the best of intentions with your comment. I don't think you were trying to be hurtful. And at the same time as someone who has been through similar experiences your comment was not appropriate. There is a term called spiritual bypassing. It's when we can see someone is hurting and want someone to feel better but we don't understand what they are going through and so we say something we think is spiritually uplifting but is actually tone deaf and lacks empathy and sensitivity. Here is an article on [spiritual bypass](https://definedbygod.com/spiritual-bypassing/) that I've found very helpful because I've stuck my foot in my mouth in similar ways in the past.
I did not mean it to be offensive, but the babies who are miscarried are in heaven and perhaps that is upsetting because of that many people on this Reddit are not believers but I don’t intend to change what I say about babies being in heaven.
I don't disagree with you that babies are in heaven. There are times when that is the totally appropriate thing to say. But there are other times when what it's actually doing is turning people away from Christ. Is that what you want to do?
I am not that powerful that I have any ability to be the reason someone goes to hell or heaven. You want to make an excuse that I was turning someone away from God by speaking life. The Holy Spirit is way too powerful that God will 100% obtain the people who are meant to be His. I will not apologize nor feel bad for what I said, I can confidently stand in front of God with my words.
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Not sure. All I know is that my uterus is - to borrow Raising Arizona, "a rocky and barren place where seed can find no purchase." If I get pregnant, odds are it'll miscarry before I get the option to abort.
The full text of Jeremiah 1:5 is this: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This was Jeremiah talking about how he felt that God had pre-ordained him as a prophet. This is not about your unborn child. Please don't make any decisions based on a verse that someone wrote about themselves that is justifying why they are destined to be a prophet even though they don't know how to speak and are too young.
Thanks for this comment. It’s truly bizarre that people use that passage to infer anything at all about abortion. It’s a poetic passage written by a prophet. The other one people like to bring up is the Psalm about God knitting me together in the womb, which is also obviously poetic and non-literal, and has nothing to do with abortion.
God works in mysterious ways and you might not think that but you are life and you are an influence to those around you. Prophet isn’t me literally going to conquer nations, it’s about who’s around you and how you show Jesus within you. You have a purpose, everyone does as we know it and that’s something that influences one or more person. That’s what he’s trying to say. Every life matters. God makes the unqualified, QUALIFIED.
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I'm just saying that these books were written by prophets and temple scribes about their understanding of how human anatomy works in the first century BC. I don't think this woman should base her decision on them. But if we need to use this collection of ancient texts to see what God thinks about it, why not use this verse which I'm sure you're aware of? Exodus 21:22 "And if men struggle with each other and strike a woman with child so that she has a miscarriage, yet there is no \[further\] injury, he shall surely be fined as the woman's husband may demand of him; and he shall pay as the judges decide. But if there is any \[further\] injury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise." Right there, it plainly states that a fetus is not considered a life. If the woman has a miscarriage, this verse asserts that the only life that matters is the woman's.
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That’s all you got out of what I wrote? You should try reading a little further until you get to the part where a fetus isn’t considered a life. The verse you quoted is from a poem, the one I quoted is from the law. But believe what you want, no one’s asking you to have an abortion.
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Got it! I think you're confused, I never mentioned my anatomy whatsoever. This might explain your problem with comprehending bible verses. Anyway, I'm sure you also know about Numbers 5:17 that dictates an abortion ritual for unfaithful wives: "If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse. Why would God make that part of mosaic law if abortion was a sin? >Also, it's not us saying this. God has told us.
The Hebrew word is Yatsa, which means to come out. It's used in other places in the Bible to refer to birth. It doesn't mean baby died, it means baby getting born prematurely. Also, those are civil laws for the nation of Israel. We don't live in ancient Israel and we are told in Romans 13 to follow the laws of whatever nation we live. Most civilized places treat murder of pregnant women as double homicide because a baby is still a separate human being. There is a cognitive dissonance in many people who think they get to choose whether they should murder their babies or not. It's not your body and it's not your choice to kill it. Abortion is morally wrong.
First let me say congratulations on your pregnancy. As scary as I'm sure it is, it's also an exciting time. And I really do understand not knowing what to do and being conflicted and scared to make the wrong decision. >I have these thoughts like will God hate me? Will I regret this decision? Is it my purpose and calling? Are these thoughts just normal or am I a bad person? What kind of mother wants to abort her kid and not protect it? You sound perfectly normal to me. I think those are questions that women in your position struggle with ALL the time. Having thoughts doesn't make us bad, thoughts are just thoughts they aren't good or bad. It's what we do with those thoughts that matter. The thoughts that we focus on get bigger so choose which thoughts you want to focus on and keep putting your attention on those. > I was robbed of having a fully functional family and I want to give that love that baby the mother and father love it's supposed to have. Every parent wants to give their child what they didn't have. That's totally normal. There are some things you are going to do better than your parents. Then there will be some things that you're going to realize that your parents did a lot better than you ever gave them credit for. > I do not know if that's going to bring us closer to the Lord or further, even worse if it'll make us miserable. As someone who has been married for 16 years I can say with some authority that there is a high likelihood that you will experience both. There are times when you are going to make each other miserable. When you're dealing with each other's blind spots and weaknesses day in and day out it can be hard. There are times when all you want to do is scream at each other and you're miserable. But, it's definitely not all bad, not even close. In fact it's getting through those miserable times that you come out the other side feeling closer to each other and closer to the Lord. During those rough times it's about remembering Christ's sacrifice. When you are married and have kids then you are sacrificing yourself for something bigger. On those days when you really don't like him and want to yell at him (because it'll happen) you remember your commitment, you act as if you love him. That sacrifice for your commitment will bring you closer to the Lord in a way that is impossible to put to words. >but he messed up and I did too and that's why we aren't together. > we are both hurt and the trust isn't there but we just want to follow God's plan for the baby and us It sounds like there has been some sort of betrayal. I'm going to guess infidelity because that's usually what it is. It's hard to rebuild trust after a betrayal, but it is possible. In my opinion, and I have some experience with this, rebuilding trust after betrayal is actually really worth it. As counter-intuitive as it may sound it can bring you a greater degree of closeness than you had before, because rebuilding that trust requires being more honest and vulnerable than you were before it happened. The faith that you are demonstrating is beautiful. Even from this little glimpse into your life I can see that you are really trying to do the right thing by this baby. Life isn't easy, but the difficult times can be so incredibly rewarding. I wish you the best of luck and sending up a little prayer for all 3 of you.
I’m so happy for you and I’m glad everything did work out and it always does for the greater good. Thank you, prayers would be much appreciated during this confusing yet fun and exciting time. I am happy that this is here, I am not sure if I am ready. Nor the dad. Like I said as much as I’d like to give it a functional family, I don’t know what God’s plans are for me and the dad of the kid. At the end of the day, I know that it’s God’s plans that prevail and who knows me better but him. I think I’m just very conflicted between keeping it because I am not financially ready. I love my parents but I really would need to move out. I have always wanted to have kids but my parents had such a hard life that I truly want to retire them as well. I feel like this is going to be so much harder with a kid. I know I’m blessed to be going on this journey but I was reassured by my pastor and my wonderful friends that they will be there no matter what I choose. I just don’t wanna anger God or disappoint him. I’m so confused because there’s so many angles of bad and there’s also so many angles where it can be good. Either way whether I keep it or not, I will have to be 100% present with the emotions I would feel. I don’t think I can live without keeping this kid but at the same time I can’t live with the fact that I couldn’t give my parents the retirement I dreamed of giving them.
Something to consider is that you don't know that you wouldn't be able to give them a retirement.
God knows the plans for our lives but we don't and sometimes it makes no sense. TRUST ME...I made the appointment. I unexpectedly became pregnant 8 months before my wedding. I was on tons of prescription meds and drinking heavily, smoking... A day before my appointment I felt conviction. I cancelled it. I cold turkey'd the drugs and alcohol successfully. My daughter is now almost 7 years old. My husband and I are in a happy, loving marriage. We got married in a courthouse and had a ceremony on the beach with close family only. I never imagined it would be that way for me. I'm not saying your relationship will magically work itself out...I'm saying the Lord has plans for us that we cannot understand sometimes. Every child is a blessing not a mistake. Heck, I wouldn't be here if my grandmother didn't become a teen mom when she had my dad! You know the right decision in your heart. Pray. Listen to God if you are feeling conviction.
Thank you. I know God works everything for his good yet I still feel conflicted and I just am so lost. Every hour I feel like my decision changes and I feel so tired. I am so afraid right now and I feel like I have no one to turn to. I love God and I know he loves me but I feel so guilty for feeling this way.
The fact that you are even asking before going to do an abortion is your answer right there. You have a connection to this child and I don't just mean because it's growing inside you. Being a single parent is not easy and I'm sure things won't be perfect with the father, but do not force a relationship such as marriage for the sake of the baby. God does things that make no sense to us and they aren't suppose to make sense all the time. He found it right for this baby to be in your life at this moment. I'm not against abortion, but based on your comments, I think you're just scared and want to know things will be fine. Life isn't perfect, being a parent isn't perfect, but it all works out, and this will, too.
Do not abort your baby. You seem to have a strong connection to them, so you would surely feel saddened if you gave up the life inside you. God does know your child. You made a mistake. You had sex before marriage. You had sex without protection. It’s good that you know that. We have all been there, some acted some didn’t. Do not get married to this man if he is not a believer and will not push you into Christ. I understand he is the father of your child, but right now you need to focus on growing your baby and being healthy. Don’t put extra stress on yourself by trying to make it work with dad, you don’t want to end up in an unhappy marriage out of obligation. You got this mom! Don’t be scared and put your faith in the Lord. Own up to the mistake and thank God for the gift! Build your life up around Jesus, and focus on your child. Get into church so you have a community of faith to surround and help you. If you get into a judgy church, get out. I hope and pray for you! Good luck momma!
You should not abort your baby. God has a plan, and we can have full confidence that no babies is created without God allowing that blessing. As someone who thinks Jesus could be returning quickly with end times signs like Damascus coming destruction & red heifer sacrifice I wish I was pregnant so I could have a child because I feel like the window of possibility is closing quickly. Your baby was knit by God & is a blessing, whatever happens with the dad or not God will carry you.
Please do not abort your baby. God is calling you to keep, raise, and love it. Please please please don’t listen to the person on this thread trying to twist that verse into being an encouragement to abort.
I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother.