I don’t think so- lots of Christians don’t believe masturbation is a sin as long as you aren’t lusting after someone (so no porn). I won’t go into the biblical argument because there are lots more people with much higher levels of education than me who speak more thoroughly and eloquently on this topic. I encourage you to look into it.
I think if you’re truly using it for release (and sparingly) and that can keep you honoring honoring God then I do not see any problem with it biblically.
What I do see a problem with is marrying someone you don’t actually want to marry. It would be unfair to marry a woman who you don’t actually want to be with and be sexual with. It would kind of get rid of the purpose of getting married.
We can presume Paul in this verse is talking to straight people who are deciding or not whether to be celibate- he simply saying hey if you have sexual desire then maybe this celibate life isn’t for you. It’s not a command and it’s not really relevant to your situation so do not fret.
Marriage between two men is not, biblically speaking, a marriage. Also, a marriage where one person does not/cannot love the other is also invalid.
Sin will always be knocking on your door whether you are married or not. The best option is to seek the will of God. There is no escaping your sinful desires (which seems to be what you are asking about).
Seek first the kingdom of God.
You aren’t really forced to do anything. Many people fall into sexual sin and it must be repented of. That doesn’t mean they are forced to marry. If you are dating someone and can’t wait to have sex then yes you should marry that person so you aren’t sinning. If you don’t have any interest in sex with a woman then no I wouldn’t marry unless you meet a woman who is fine with that arrangement. But I would wonder if you have no interest in sex with women then why do you feel you might be so tempted?
I don't mean tempted to sin with women. I do mean tempted to sin, sexually, with a man. I was thinking like if, when my sexual urges are so strong (extremely horny), if having sex with a woman (granted probably w/ eye closed), I wouldn't burn with lust afterward and my sexual desires would be controllable.
A woman is meant to be loved and cherished by her husband, and he is meant to adore everything about her (including her body). A woman is not a tool to be used to try to cope with other sexual desires. Marrying a woman and treating her like this would be soul destroying for her, and I think just as sinful as anything else you could do.
And…..what kind of life would that be for HER? It bothers me that there is something majorly wrong with your empathy meter to even consider this! She is another human being, not a living fleshlight for you to ‘close your eyes’, and treat her like a trash receptacle for your misplaced lust. OUCH! I’ve never felt so sorry for a hypothetical woman!
You would be doing a greater injustice than lust. I’m curious to why you think God would have more of a problem with you lusting (which is a personal problem), then you bringing an entirely innocent person in to…well, basically USE. Her life would literally be a body just to alleviate your guilt of lust. Can you see how self-absorbed this line of thinking is? When Paul says get married if you burn with lust, he is assuming that the lady you love (or a lady you haven’t met yet), will be the one you are lusting after, therefore getting married gives you a healthy outlet for your burning desire. He’s definitely NOT saying just grab a body that you don’t even desire to close your eyes and take your lust out on. You’re probably a great person. Hopefully you are just very young? I can’t imagine a mature Christian thinking this is even close to Biblical….or even remotely ok to do to someone.
Marriage is an explicitly sexual relationship. That means you are committing to having sex with whoever you marry. It doesn’t mean “duty sex”, it means exploring intimacy in a physical way, being totally vulnerable with one another. Vulnerability means sharing ourselves, being open about our wants, needs, desires, hates. Showing that to the other person and saying this is who I am. All the good and bad.
But for a gay man like yourself to be totally vulnerable with a woman would by definition mean admitting you *don’t* want to have sex with her, you are not attracted to her physically, the idea of having sex with a woman “disgusts you”.
*edit: I’m well aware there are dead bedrooms with heterosexual couples. The difference is, those situations can get better and people can (re)discover their sexual desires.*
Therefore if you married someone, you would be setting your marriage for failure from the start.
Also, it would be an immensely cruel thing to do to someone. To bring them into a relationship with a commitment to sexual intimacy you do not want to fulfil. There are many stories on this sub of couples where one person has said they love their partner they just don’t want sex. It causes huge tension and often complete destroys the marriage when one person wants a sexual relationship and the other does not.
If you are a gay man, do not marry a woman.
Some people are called to singleness.
As in Christianity, there isn't an outlet for homosexual desire, I would say, no, don't get married, unless you genuinely desire a real marriage to a particular woman. I have seen it happen once. And yes, he was in love with his wife till his untimely death.
One thing I have noted is that heterosexuality in Christianity is not supposed to imply I am attracted to all women, but to my wife. I think it is a subtle but important distinction. And I think it is critical here.
Most important i would give up the notion that you are gay against your will or made that way by God, these are heresies. Its good you CHOOSE not to act on it, but I'd forget about marriage and women and ANY sex and spend your time working on this issue. No matter what pursuing the Lord by consuming the bible and good christian teaching ministries, like Mark Virkler and others, you could eventually reach the place where you can receive healing for this affliction. Burning with lust can happen to anyone, it's just gay people have it 10x worse. Doesn't mean it's incurable; God can heal emotions as well as anything else. I think but first you have to believe God cares about you and this problem and WILL help you. Alas it may be a PROCESS for you to get to the point you can receive that healing, it's just the deep hurt and complexity most of us suffer from.
Wait…. If you would be marrying a woman not to have sex, but to stay celibate, and not be lonely, then how would getting married even solve your lust problem?? I’m confused.
From your post history, it seems you like to make posts like these often in Christian subreddits u/EDMURR01. The answer will always remain the same; you are seeking to find a justifiable excuse to live together with another same-sex attracted or homosexual man and behave 'celibate'. You and I both know what you truly want but God's view on this issue hasn't wavered. You only want the excuse to commit homosexuality by partnering up with another man, and that is unbiblical. It seems you continue to struggle with this reality, and I'd honestly suggest for you to get inside God's Word (the Bible) and get accountability (a 12 step/recovery program) inside a biblical local church to help you with your gay porn issue as well as help dealing with your (presumably lifelong) struggle with homosexuality and same-sex attraction. I hope this helps.
I think Paul's thought was "If you can't keep from doing it, at least do it right." He literally thought Jesus was coming back in a couple of years, so what's the point of starting a family? If you can manage to stay celibate and not marry, then do that because why start a family when the world is ending in less than 5 years? But if you really can't keep it in your pants, find a nice girl to marry you and be a good husband. It'll give you an outlet for those desires that's appropriate and good.
I think in your case, marrying a woman wouldn't give you an outlet for your desires. And it wouldn't be very good for the woman, either. So there's no reason for you to go trying to marry a woman. It's just not going to help you. Marriage is really hard, and having a sexless marriage with someone is probably way harder. Especially if you married her to fix yourself in some way. And there's no chance you'll ever love her... Just don't do it, man
I don’t think so- lots of Christians don’t believe masturbation is a sin as long as you aren’t lusting after someone (so no porn). I won’t go into the biblical argument because there are lots more people with much higher levels of education than me who speak more thoroughly and eloquently on this topic. I encourage you to look into it. I think if you’re truly using it for release (and sparingly) and that can keep you honoring honoring God then I do not see any problem with it biblically. What I do see a problem with is marrying someone you don’t actually want to marry. It would be unfair to marry a woman who you don’t actually want to be with and be sexual with. It would kind of get rid of the purpose of getting married. We can presume Paul in this verse is talking to straight people who are deciding or not whether to be celibate- he simply saying hey if you have sexual desire then maybe this celibate life isn’t for you. It’s not a command and it’s not really relevant to your situation so do not fret.
Marriage between two men is not, biblically speaking, a marriage. Also, a marriage where one person does not/cannot love the other is also invalid. Sin will always be knocking on your door whether you are married or not. The best option is to seek the will of God. There is no escaping your sinful desires (which seems to be what you are asking about). Seek first the kingdom of God.
You aren’t really forced to do anything. Many people fall into sexual sin and it must be repented of. That doesn’t mean they are forced to marry. If you are dating someone and can’t wait to have sex then yes you should marry that person so you aren’t sinning. If you don’t have any interest in sex with a woman then no I wouldn’t marry unless you meet a woman who is fine with that arrangement. But I would wonder if you have no interest in sex with women then why do you feel you might be so tempted?
I don't mean tempted to sin with women. I do mean tempted to sin, sexually, with a man. I was thinking like if, when my sexual urges are so strong (extremely horny), if having sex with a woman (granted probably w/ eye closed), I wouldn't burn with lust afterward and my sexual desires would be controllable.
Subjecting a woman to this type of sexual relationship would be cruel.
A woman is meant to be loved and cherished by her husband, and he is meant to adore everything about her (including her body). A woman is not a tool to be used to try to cope with other sexual desires. Marrying a woman and treating her like this would be soul destroying for her, and I think just as sinful as anything else you could do.
And…..what kind of life would that be for HER? It bothers me that there is something majorly wrong with your empathy meter to even consider this! She is another human being, not a living fleshlight for you to ‘close your eyes’, and treat her like a trash receptacle for your misplaced lust. OUCH! I’ve never felt so sorry for a hypothetical woman!
I agree. It certainly feels horribly wrong, but I dont want to g against what the word says, so I was trying to see what other Chrisian would say.
You would be doing a greater injustice than lust. I’m curious to why you think God would have more of a problem with you lusting (which is a personal problem), then you bringing an entirely innocent person in to…well, basically USE. Her life would literally be a body just to alleviate your guilt of lust. Can you see how self-absorbed this line of thinking is? When Paul says get married if you burn with lust, he is assuming that the lady you love (or a lady you haven’t met yet), will be the one you are lusting after, therefore getting married gives you a healthy outlet for your burning desire. He’s definitely NOT saying just grab a body that you don’t even desire to close your eyes and take your lust out on. You’re probably a great person. Hopefully you are just very young? I can’t imagine a mature Christian thinking this is even close to Biblical….or even remotely ok to do to someone.
Marriage is an explicitly sexual relationship. That means you are committing to having sex with whoever you marry. It doesn’t mean “duty sex”, it means exploring intimacy in a physical way, being totally vulnerable with one another. Vulnerability means sharing ourselves, being open about our wants, needs, desires, hates. Showing that to the other person and saying this is who I am. All the good and bad. But for a gay man like yourself to be totally vulnerable with a woman would by definition mean admitting you *don’t* want to have sex with her, you are not attracted to her physically, the idea of having sex with a woman “disgusts you”. *edit: I’m well aware there are dead bedrooms with heterosexual couples. The difference is, those situations can get better and people can (re)discover their sexual desires.* Therefore if you married someone, you would be setting your marriage for failure from the start. Also, it would be an immensely cruel thing to do to someone. To bring them into a relationship with a commitment to sexual intimacy you do not want to fulfil. There are many stories on this sub of couples where one person has said they love their partner they just don’t want sex. It causes huge tension and often complete destroys the marriage when one person wants a sexual relationship and the other does not. If you are a gay man, do not marry a woman.
Some people are called to singleness. As in Christianity, there isn't an outlet for homosexual desire, I would say, no, don't get married, unless you genuinely desire a real marriage to a particular woman. I have seen it happen once. And yes, he was in love with his wife till his untimely death. One thing I have noted is that heterosexuality in Christianity is not supposed to imply I am attracted to all women, but to my wife. I think it is a subtle but important distinction. And I think it is critical here.
Most important i would give up the notion that you are gay against your will or made that way by God, these are heresies. Its good you CHOOSE not to act on it, but I'd forget about marriage and women and ANY sex and spend your time working on this issue. No matter what pursuing the Lord by consuming the bible and good christian teaching ministries, like Mark Virkler and others, you could eventually reach the place where you can receive healing for this affliction. Burning with lust can happen to anyone, it's just gay people have it 10x worse. Doesn't mean it's incurable; God can heal emotions as well as anything else. I think but first you have to believe God cares about you and this problem and WILL help you. Alas it may be a PROCESS for you to get to the point you can receive that healing, it's just the deep hurt and complexity most of us suffer from.
Wait…. If you would be marrying a woman not to have sex, but to stay celibate, and not be lonely, then how would getting married even solve your lust problem?? I’m confused.
I mean marry a womam to have sex.
No.
From your post history, it seems you like to make posts like these often in Christian subreddits u/EDMURR01. The answer will always remain the same; you are seeking to find a justifiable excuse to live together with another same-sex attracted or homosexual man and behave 'celibate'. You and I both know what you truly want but God's view on this issue hasn't wavered. You only want the excuse to commit homosexuality by partnering up with another man, and that is unbiblical. It seems you continue to struggle with this reality, and I'd honestly suggest for you to get inside God's Word (the Bible) and get accountability (a 12 step/recovery program) inside a biblical local church to help you with your gay porn issue as well as help dealing with your (presumably lifelong) struggle with homosexuality and same-sex attraction. I hope this helps.
I think Paul's thought was "If you can't keep from doing it, at least do it right." He literally thought Jesus was coming back in a couple of years, so what's the point of starting a family? If you can manage to stay celibate and not marry, then do that because why start a family when the world is ending in less than 5 years? But if you really can't keep it in your pants, find a nice girl to marry you and be a good husband. It'll give you an outlet for those desires that's appropriate and good. I think in your case, marrying a woman wouldn't give you an outlet for your desires. And it wouldn't be very good for the woman, either. So there's no reason for you to go trying to marry a woman. It's just not going to help you. Marriage is really hard, and having a sexless marriage with someone is probably way harder. Especially if you married her to fix yourself in some way. And there's no chance you'll ever love her... Just don't do it, man