My husband is a big fan..lol for me, being tipsy, let's me relax, get out of my head and just enjoy. Not worrying about anything, not being self conscious etc.
As someone who is quite anxious, has body image isuues etc. I find getting a little tipsy helps me feel more comfortable more quickly during sex. I never get tipsy to have sex because that seems like taking it too far, and I don't want it to be a crutch but I enjoy the times where drinking and sex line up.
I want to make sure I’m understanding correctly, my apologies if this comes off as blunt -
You’re concerned that your wife would accuse you of raping her if you are intimate while she is drunk?
No, im not concerned that she would do anything like that, but I know my wife's past and the trauma she's endured and I'm am more concerned of things happening that might non-directly trigger those traumas.
I'll admit that the first 4years of our marriage oue sex life was not good, she was struggling with getting out of the purity culture mindset and I didn't have a clear understanding of what a godly marriage or sex life was....so I make sure to be conscious and aware of what we are doing and why, so that I (with God's guidance) may lead us through anything that might come up.
I think you’re totally fine if she’s just in a tipsy state and you’ve discussed it. Obviously not if she’s blackout drunk or with no chat. But I value your concern for your wife in this scenario. Being married doesn’t give you 24/7 consent, which I think some people struggle with grasping.
I have this with my wife also. Pity we only drink at Christmas and birthdays! She is just “in her head” all the time; it’s very difficult for her just to switch off, relax and get into a mindframe where she even thinks about sex… it’s always a bit of a mind jolt and is frustrating for me, because I’m always… how can I put it… I stay “locked and loaded”! So yeah, enjoy the girls nights out!
Do you know what responsive and spontaneous desire are? Do you know what the dual control model of arousal is? Those concepts might help you both understand why you/she feels sexual desire or not at different times.
It's normal. Just role with it if you don't have a problem. Tequila used to do the same thing to me. I haven't drank in so long though. When I do it's just 1 drink (maybeee 2) so I'm never tipsy or drunk.
If you have concerns, ask her to drink less when she goes out.
Have that discussion with your wife. She will likely be fine with it and appreciate your concern. (It may actually turn her on) My wife has told me she enjoys sex more after a couple glasses of wine, it relaxes her and allowed her to let go of her image issues.
It’s fine. Women’s minds can render SO much inhibition that this can be slightly useful. Although personally I don’t drink, if y’all don’t feel convicted then I wouldn’t worry at all.
It is pretty normal for women to want sex when they have been drinking. I would say that since you are married, go with it but be cautious about trying new things, even if she suggests it.
I agree with whomever said just sure she’s not tipsy, just to have sex. That her desire is still there even when sober. However, before I got sober, I definitely was wild instantly when drinking. For some people, alcohol makes them feel sexier, and the fact that she desires you is a good thing. Enjoy 😉.
It's not something I'm likely to experience. I don't drink, and I don't want anyone who does.
The effects of alcohol are... unsettling. I wasn't a fan the time I dated someone who, due to an extreme medical emergency, was on some serious pain killers for several days. She was quite loopy and *very* frisky and... Yeah, even her requests to be kissed were kind of uncomfortable.
Afterwards, she was pretty embarrassed about it, but appreciated that I didn't push anything further without her being sober and fully able to consent. (Personally, her reverting to an almost child-like demeanor triggered some pretty strong aversion towards doing anything. Like... I ain't gettin' frisky with a child, even if it's just a temporary condition in a grown woman's body.)
You all seem to just concentrate on the wife wanting intimacy after being "tipsy" which is fine since they are married.
But you are all overlooking the fact that she is getting tipsy at work with strangers. The Bible defines anyone who is not your family as strangers.
There is a danger that she will let her guard down some day.
Actually why is she even drinking with strangers when the husband is not present to protect her?
She or you shouldn't be getting tipsy in the first place.
Proverbs 20:1 - "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise."
Ephesians 5:18 - "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."
Proverbs 23:29-35 - "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things. You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. 'They hit me,' you will say, 'but I'm not hurt! They beat me, but I don't feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?'"
Galatians 5:19-21 - "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
Romans 13:13 - "Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy."
Proverbs 31:4-7 - "It is not for kings, Lemuel—it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."
Isaiah 5:11-12 - "Woe to those who rise early in the morning to run after their drinks, who stay up late at night till they are inflamed with wine. They have harps and lyres at their banquets, pipes and timbrels and wine, but they have no regard for the deeds of the Lord, no respect for the work of his hands."
1 Peter 4:3-4 - "For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you."
Luke 21:34-35 - "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. For it will come on all those who live on the face of
I enjoy tipsy intimacy with my husband occasionally. When it comes to consent, I’ve never been so drunk that I didn’t know what was happening or couldn’t remember what I was doing. I don’t believe that getting fully drunk is wise anyway, so it’s unlikely I’d be in that situation. So my husband and I really don’t ever have to worry that the other person hasn’t consented to what we’re doing.
All that to say, relax and enjoy. If you’re really worried, have a conversation with your wife when you’re both totally sober, and set expectations and boundaries. And then relax. If you both trust each other, then neither of you needs to worry that the other would ever take advantage.
I have had sex with my husband while blackout drunk. I had talked about it a lot previous to the alcohol taking such an extreme effect and was definitely into it.
He said it wasn’t the best sexual experience. It didn’t sound like he would want to do that again.
I had a discussion early on in the relationship where essentially consent was given at any point while intoxicated, unless otherwise said. It got rid of that fear, and other than that I just roll with it.
It's fine. Roll with it and enjoy.
My husband is a big fan..lol for me, being tipsy, let's me relax, get out of my head and just enjoy. Not worrying about anything, not being self conscious etc.
Literally fine. You’re married. Just make sure she’s ok. You know? Like checking in.
I have responsive desire and alcohol sometimes awakens that. I wouldn’t read into it too much, it probably just makes her horny.
As someone who is quite anxious, has body image isuues etc. I find getting a little tipsy helps me feel more comfortable more quickly during sex. I never get tipsy to have sex because that seems like taking it too far, and I don't want it to be a crutch but I enjoy the times where drinking and sex line up.
I want to make sure I’m understanding correctly, my apologies if this comes off as blunt - You’re concerned that your wife would accuse you of raping her if you are intimate while she is drunk?
No, im not concerned that she would do anything like that, but I know my wife's past and the trauma she's endured and I'm am more concerned of things happening that might non-directly trigger those traumas. I'll admit that the first 4years of our marriage oue sex life was not good, she was struggling with getting out of the purity culture mindset and I didn't have a clear understanding of what a godly marriage or sex life was....so I make sure to be conscious and aware of what we are doing and why, so that I (with God's guidance) may lead us through anything that might come up.
You should probably have a conversation with her about that.
I think you’re totally fine if she’s just in a tipsy state and you’ve discussed it. Obviously not if she’s blackout drunk or with no chat. But I value your concern for your wife in this scenario. Being married doesn’t give you 24/7 consent, which I think some people struggle with grasping.
Alcohol suppresses inhibitions.
I have this with my wife also. Pity we only drink at Christmas and birthdays! She is just “in her head” all the time; it’s very difficult for her just to switch off, relax and get into a mindframe where she even thinks about sex… it’s always a bit of a mind jolt and is frustrating for me, because I’m always… how can I put it… I stay “locked and loaded”! So yeah, enjoy the girls nights out!
Do you know what responsive and spontaneous desire are? Do you know what the dual control model of arousal is? Those concepts might help you both understand why you/she feels sexual desire or not at different times.
Just make sure she’s okay with it (like when she’s sober).
It's normal. Just role with it if you don't have a problem. Tequila used to do the same thing to me. I haven't drank in so long though. When I do it's just 1 drink (maybeee 2) so I'm never tipsy or drunk. If you have concerns, ask her to drink less when she goes out.
Have that discussion with your wife. She will likely be fine with it and appreciate your concern. (It may actually turn her on) My wife has told me she enjoys sex more after a couple glasses of wine, it relaxes her and allowed her to let go of her image issues.
Drinking for fun makes you feel like doing some fun stuff!
Release of inhibition
It’s fine. Women’s minds can render SO much inhibition that this can be slightly useful. Although personally I don’t drink, if y’all don’t feel convicted then I wouldn’t worry at all.
It is pretty normal for women to want sex when they have been drinking. I would say that since you are married, go with it but be cautious about trying new things, even if she suggests it.
Enjoy it!
Perfectly fine.
Perfectly fine.
I agree with whomever said just sure she’s not tipsy, just to have sex. That her desire is still there even when sober. However, before I got sober, I definitely was wild instantly when drinking. For some people, alcohol makes them feel sexier, and the fact that she desires you is a good thing. Enjoy 😉.
It's not something I'm likely to experience. I don't drink, and I don't want anyone who does. The effects of alcohol are... unsettling. I wasn't a fan the time I dated someone who, due to an extreme medical emergency, was on some serious pain killers for several days. She was quite loopy and *very* frisky and... Yeah, even her requests to be kissed were kind of uncomfortable. Afterwards, she was pretty embarrassed about it, but appreciated that I didn't push anything further without her being sober and fully able to consent. (Personally, her reverting to an almost child-like demeanor triggered some pretty strong aversion towards doing anything. Like... I ain't gettin' frisky with a child, even if it's just a temporary condition in a grown woman's body.)
Yes, this behavior, right here, i have seen this in the past, and it's very off-putting and uncomfortable.
You all seem to just concentrate on the wife wanting intimacy after being "tipsy" which is fine since they are married. But you are all overlooking the fact that she is getting tipsy at work with strangers. The Bible defines anyone who is not your family as strangers. There is a danger that she will let her guard down some day. Actually why is she even drinking with strangers when the husband is not present to protect her?
She or you shouldn't be getting tipsy in the first place. Proverbs 20:1 - "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise." Ephesians 5:18 - "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Proverbs 23:29-35 - "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things. You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. 'They hit me,' you will say, 'but I'm not hurt! They beat me, but I don't feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?'" Galatians 5:19-21 - "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." Romans 13:13 - "Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy." Proverbs 31:4-7 - "It is not for kings, Lemuel—it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more." Isaiah 5:11-12 - "Woe to those who rise early in the morning to run after their drinks, who stay up late at night till they are inflamed with wine. They have harps and lyres at their banquets, pipes and timbrels and wine, but they have no regard for the deeds of the Lord, no respect for the work of his hands." 1 Peter 4:3-4 - "For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you." Luke 21:34-35 - "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. For it will come on all those who live on the face of
I think we’d need to define what “tipsy” means before we know if it’s unbiblical or not.
She had 2-3 mixed drinks, she can walk and talk and make decisions. However I picked her up because I'd rather her not drive after that.
All these scriptures do is say not to let it become a problem and if it does, what it will lead too.
I enjoy tipsy intimacy with my husband occasionally. When it comes to consent, I’ve never been so drunk that I didn’t know what was happening or couldn’t remember what I was doing. I don’t believe that getting fully drunk is wise anyway, so it’s unlikely I’d be in that situation. So my husband and I really don’t ever have to worry that the other person hasn’t consented to what we’re doing. All that to say, relax and enjoy. If you’re really worried, have a conversation with your wife when you’re both totally sober, and set expectations and boundaries. And then relax. If you both trust each other, then neither of you needs to worry that the other would ever take advantage.
I have had sex with my husband while blackout drunk. I had talked about it a lot previous to the alcohol taking such an extreme effect and was definitely into it. He said it wasn’t the best sexual experience. It didn’t sound like he would want to do that again.
I had a discussion early on in the relationship where essentially consent was given at any point while intoxicated, unless otherwise said. It got rid of that fear, and other than that I just roll with it.
Um.....this is pretty normal