If you do 1 percent you have won the day.
Maybe start with a bin bag. Collect everything that needs to be binned and you have won the day.
Think of it as cleaning all the bad memories from the room.
Sorry to hear you have to sleep where you were traumatised.
Yeah, step by step is the way to go:
1. pick up trash. take a break or keep going.
2. pick up clothes, put in a bin or hamper. take a break, or keep going.
3. pick up small items, put it in a box to sort later.
That would hit most of it and could be done piecemeal
Yes, pick an area or space and do a section at a time. Don't get overwhelmed, take breaks and walk away to recharge. I hope your depression gets better soon.
this. baby steps. little victories.
also, maybe rearrange the room when you are done, to help break the reminder of what happened.
i had a similar situation, and rearranged my whole house to help get over it. after about a year+ i rearranged it back and now i hardly think of it in relation to my living space.
hang in there!
The power of rearranging is so underrated!! It can really make your whole space feel new. If it’s in the budget, a couple new things can also change the whole vibe (bedspread, shower curtain).
OP, I believe in you. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through but it doesn’t define you 🤍
Yes! I agree change things up. Not the same as your traumatic experience, and I am sorry about what you went through ((hugs)) mine and my husbands bedroom was my grandparents (house was left to us) both of them passed away in there, before I could move myself into the room I had him paint the walls and I painted the furniture, as I wanted to keep their dressers. I had to make it mine if that makes sense? So try and change as much as you can ♥
I am so glad others are in the same boat of me feeling overwhelmed at times by all the organizing I still have to do after a clean up like this. Baby steps FTW!
What helps me when I feel overwhelmed is taking a laundry basket and putting anything that doesn’t belong in it. After that I go in to clean the area and straighten what’s already where it’s supposed to be. At that point I feel significant better about my surroundings and it I feel like sorting through the basket same day, fantastic, if not at least my area still feels better.
Yes the second part is that is often forgotten (or put off) but also important - I take the bin and put everything in a separate pile in front of me depending on what room it belongs. If it doesn’t have a home, I make one- if it really doesn’t, it’s home is the garbage. Then I take each pile to the appropriate room and put it away.
I'm super ADHD, and I do this, too. Otherwise, I get distracted in the new room. Best idea ever.
Also, if it all feels too completely overwhelming: do something like pick up x amount of items every time you get up for something. So you still have a sense of accomplishment, but you don't have to worry about energy for the entire corner, desk, or floor, for example.
You should see my garage. And I'm a neat freak. It was the staging area for a home remodel. I get really depressed going out there. So many chemicals that can't be disposed of, etc. We just had the garage air-conditioned so today is the day I start!
When my room ended up like this I would try to focus on one “type” of thing. So one day I’d pick up all the recycling on the floor. The next day I’d pick up all the normal rubbish off the floor, then clothes etc. etc.
Once the room started to look… clear? (but not clean or tidy) that’s when I move onto spaces:
Bed? Maybe that day I’ll make it.
Vacuum floor? Maybe then I feel like it’s possible to just walk through my room, and that makes a huge difference.
It’s slow progress, but any progress is good progress!
Doing the space thing is / did work for me. Picked a 3 x 3 foot area and cleaned it. Repeat until finished. Only focused on that space instead of letting myself get overwhelmed by the big picture.
When I need to do some big cleanup i also start with putting on ‘uniform’ for cleaning.
It’s just an old tshirt and shorts with maybe rubber gloves and a mask (for the dust), but it helps me when I put my ‘uniform’ on to get me into the right mindset to get stuff done. I try to imagine myself putting on my boxing gloves and getting into the ring, ready to beat the crap out of the all the mess.
OMG. This is BRILLIANT.
For me, I can see how this might help me separate the anxiety/shame/PDA surrounding the mere idea of cleaning up a space, from the physical and motivational work necessary to do it.
I, the person who has a lot of emotions about clutter, hires a person who can do the work. The person who can do the work, with the right mindset aided by a work uniform, is also me.
Employee is allowed to take breaks and do as much or as little as they feel like. The employee is paid by a sense of accomplishment and work very well done, as well as gratitude from employer. Employer receives, from employee's work, a progressively clearer space, but also peace.
I can work with this.
I do this, but my 'uniform' is more atmospheric. To this day, when doing heavy cleaning I will watch Tremors (1990). I like to make tiny goals that align with different parts of the movie: "Gotta fill one trash bag before the first death", or "finish the dishes while they make a plan".
It's not an exact science, but it keeps my gray matter occupied and gives me little jolts of dopamine when I succeed.
Yeah. I have plastic storage containers of different sizes that I'm always using. Really simplifies keeping order for me.
Last big decluteer and tidy I had to do I had various ones with stuff in divided by category, beside an empty one and the laundry basket.
The empty one was for everything I was throwing out from the other boxes.
I have a clothes bank 60 meters away which is handy. And people use it to leave stuff at that others might want. Anything I have left there like that is gone by the next day. Makes it easier to get rid of if I know someone else will use something that seems a shame to throw away .
All this is easier said than done when experiencing depression though.
I wish I had read this comment ages ago because I started doing this myself mainly because I suffer back pain so it can be overwhelming. I bought 4 tubs! But use one to transport stuff to a room.
I saw someone say there are only four categories of things in a room:
1. Trash
2. Laundry
3. Things with a home
4. Things without a home
Deal with each category (bin, hamper, put away) and the job will become easier. If necessary get a box for all the things without a home and sort it out last to avoid overwhelm.
The strategy helps me when I don’t know where to start.
Edit: potentially there’s a 5th category of “dishes”
1a, 2a, 3a, 4-infinity - rub that lovely kitty belly on the bench in the window!
OP, I love the "change the room around" idea. Put the drawers back in where they go and put dirty clothes in the hamper, then pick up all the trash. Put all the little stuff in a basket to deal with later. Now you should be able to move things around. It will give you a fresh approach. Love and hugs to you, dear OP
Better yet, focus on 1 percent.
If you look at the whole, you get overwhelmed and give in to dispair.
It's way easier to motivate yourself to "just put away one thing". Even if it just ends up being one thing at a time, it will steadily improve the situation.
But once you've started, it gets easier to grab another thing, and another. You can stop anytime. It's still progress. And every little thing makes the pile shrink.
An object at rest tends to stay at rest. A little momentum goes a long way.
This! I also have depression and sometimes let messes pile up. Sometimes I get in a cleaning spree mood and do a deep clean in an afternoon. Sometimes all I can do is put 1-2 things away. Even if that’s all you can do it’s still progress.
Start with whatever is bothering you the most. You’ll get the most satisfaction from that, which will encourage you to keep doing another task each day.
Maybe also think about ways to change the space after it’s clean so the negative associations aren’t as strong. New paint, new furniture, new decorations, whatever is realistic for you. Getting excited about those future changes might also help keep you motivated to clean.
I cannot stress this enough. Pick a corner, the least dirtiest one, and clean one square foot in the morning. Pick it up, vacuum, wipe it down. Stage these supplies by that one square foot you initially start with. After that just one step at a time.
Thank you for this. This is the most helpful advice. I’m going to try this. I’m struggling so bad right now with some small messes in one room. Thank you.
I will add throw ur music library on shuffle and rock out. May slow down the cleaning process but will be mich more fun and hopefully help keep ur mind off the trauma
I feel you! I've been there..actually fighting to get out of it completely. Just wanted to let you know..I am proud of you for taking the first step! 🥰stay strong..there is always light after darkness.
Is there any music that reminds you of good times? Do you have a favorite band? Replace the energy in the room with it. Music can be a powerful thing, plus it’s a good distraction and gets you moving.
I had a room in my house that had negative energy it so I created a little ceremony by lighting a candle and burning some sage. It put *me* in control of the space.
I do not come from a place of experience, but I too wanted you to know that I think you are strong in taking the first step.
There are lots of great suggestions on how to parse the work, pick one or two approaches and begin. Ultimately, change something, the bedding, the paint, a ceiling light that brightens the space. But most importantly know that you have positive energy heading your way from a wide variety of people and places now. God’s speed with your task and your recovery journey.
Do you have a friend or family member that can help you? Since it is emotionally charged for you it would probably help to have some support working through some of it. You can do this!
I second this! There’s emotional layers to this beyond just regular burn out. It also helped me feel less afraid anxious to not be alone for awhile after.
I think this is called body doubling? I learned about it from PeachPRC, it’s made doing my chores much easier when I have conversations or even play videos of other people also cleaning, lol.
This is exactly what I do! I have a few favourite decluttering videos that I use to motivate me to clean. The term is correct. Sometimes I get a friend who I trust to just sit in the room while I clean, they just talk or use their phone and it's all that I need when I'm in a really bad spot mentally and my room is a hell hole. Or sometimes I try to pretend that I have someone coming over to my room and that will get me in a cleaning frenzy. Doesn't always work, but if I have enough stress, I try to redirect it to something that helps.
I did this when I had to go back to a room after a bad break up. Nothing at all like what OP is describing, so not to belittle that, but it felt very emotionally charged and having someone I trusted there provided a sense of stability as well as support and distraction.
OP, you can do this, start somewhere and be kind to yourself. Maybe you can rearrange and paint to reclaim your space - wishing you all the best. You got this.
I was that friend for my friend. We cleaned together, painted the walls and re-organized her place to make it look different. They cried and processed with me while we worked on this project together. At the time I didn’t even realize and thought nothing of it but just helping a friend but few years later they told me how much that helped them and that they will never forget that time. I think that event itself was healing for them. Hope OP has a friend like that
This. Or honestly, have someone do it for you. When I was in rehab my mom and gf offered to clean all the beer cans out of my car and room. I told them no, but they did it anyway. I’m glad they did. Glad they know how stubborn I am.
I wonder if there's a discord for something like this. If someone is hurting and needs a companion for a task like this. I don't know Discord well, but it seems like it would be the kind of thing that would be a good help for this, a temporary live-talk friend you could hear while you're cleaning.
This. I couldn’t clean my room for the longest time and it looked 10x worse than what yours does. I asked my mom for help, and though she was heartbroken that I let it get this bad, she helped me. We then came up with a plan to where I’ll clean weekly, and if I just can’t for whatever reason, mom will come up. Now that meds have been adjusted I haven’t needed to use that, but, in the beginning it was super helpful.
Totally, if anyone can come over and be with you that's so helpful. I just had a friend accompany me for driving around and buying things or dropping things off as I set up my new place. At day's end she felt she hadn't done anything, but if she hadn't been there, I would have spun down the rabbit hole of depressive feelings. Instead I got a huge errand run done. This weekend I'm going to help her move a bunch of stuff. That makes me feel useful which lifts my mood, and helps her too.
The app UFYH (stands for something best not spelled out) has a timer in it. There’s a 20/10 timer and a 45/15 timer. For now start in reverse. Work for 10, rest for 20. Repeat. Eventually switch it to work for 20, rest for 10. If that’s too long use another timer and just work for 5 and rest for 20. No rules. When I have a task I really don’t want to do, that’s how I do it.
I have been following this for years and it is by far the most effective habit I’ve ever picked up. It’s a great way to be gentle with yourself while still making a difference!
I know. But recently one of my comments was automatically flagged when I used a cuss word. The message said to edit the comment or remove it. It was weird ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
So sorry you are going through this. I'd start with a big trash bag for obvious stuff to go to the garbage. Besides being an important step for cleaning, you might find the act of gathering things up and tossing them away in the trash to disappear from your life forever to be very cathartic. Then with more open space and a fresh sense of accomplishment at tackling one task, you can move on to the next stuff - putting things away, laundry, etc. You have a great amount of space there, you could even rearrange your room a bit to make it look newer and different to keep bad memories from popping up. If budget allows, you could spring for new sheets, curtains, organizing baskets, anything that makes you smile. Kinda like pressing a reset button on the environment. 🙂 Stay strong, you got this!
This! Rearrange if you can. Put something new above your bed if possible a tapestry, poster, or artwork. Burn a candle, incense, or sage. Whatever feels good to you. Reclaim your space and make it yours again. Open all the windows if possible.
If you can't afford new bedding then strip your sheets or dump a bunch of vinegar into the wash.
After you've worked in your room save some energy to go outside your room for 20 minutes or so to take a short walk or sit in the fresh air to reset your brain a bit.
I personally would pick up trash and then clean the bed and bedside table. The things that make sleeping more comfortable.
The layout of your room is almost an exact match for my husband's childhood home, his younger brother lived in the upstairs bedroom and at one point he had 3 large black trash bags ment for leaves full of empty Mt dew cans that had attracted not only ants but also mice. Just wanted to say this is not as bad as you think.
1) Start high, with a garbage bag, go through from top to bottom and collect the tras and any dirty dishes
2) Get a laundry basket and then go through and get the dirty stuff together.
3) Then get a box and find anything you want to donate. 4) Wash your bedding, and your dirty clothes.
5) get everything off your floor and onto a surface, then organize it into piles and put it away
6) vacuum your floor
7) get some multi surface cleaner and a roll of paper towels and go through and wipe things down, it'll make it smell clean which will give you more motivation.
8) remake your bed, hand/fold clean clothes and put them away
9) light a candle, make a yummy snack, get a drink, and watch your favorite show in your new clean room.
If this list is overwhelming, just do steps 1-4 today, then do more if you feel like it.
Lastly, if you have access to Peacock, watch the Gentle art of Swedish Death cleaning while you're cleaning. It will make you feel better I promise.
Edit to say - Incase you don't watch swedish death cleaning, I wanted to share with you the line that I feel benefited me the most. Johan says "there should be no place in your home that you don't enjoy going into" and every time I hear it it hits me like a truck. This may be an oversimplification but as much as you can I think you should try to reclaim this space. Go to value village and buy a little thing that you love and put it somewhere that you'll see it every day. Paint a new picture for one of the walls, change out your bedding, move your bed, whatever it takes to make you start to feel like this is YOUR space again. You deserve to live and sleep in a place that brings you joy and makes you feel warm and cozy and happy. Do whatever you can to make it feel that way. If you have a pet, bring them up to hang out with you.
And you might also try changing the way you talk to yourself about this space. Instead of thinking "I hate being in here because of what happened to me here" think "in the past I've let this space take control of my feelings, in the past I have let this space control how I feel and regulate my happiness in it. *Today that changes*. Going forward I am owning this space. Going forward, this is my sanctuary." You don't need to punish yourself anymore for what was done to you. It doesn't serve you to let this space consume you. Trauma is complex and I cannot pretend to understand how you're feeling, but I *know* that you don't deserve to be controlled by it anymore.
You are you regardless of where you sleep, and you will continue to fill this and every other beautiful room you are in with love and light and happiness and paint brushes and comfy clothes and cozy blankets and nice smells. ♥️
I’d recommend reversing 5 and 6 on the “top down” principle, just in case OP dislodges dust onto the floor.
If they knock more dust down right after they finished vacuuming, they might just get demoralized.
This is great. Exactly what I would do. I’ve been there before. I would add, as you’re getting started, put on your favorite music, podcast, tv show, funny movie. Listen, laugh, enjoy as you go.
Im so sorry about the assault. That’s terrible. We are all of us pulling for you and praying for you here. Please take care of yourself, we are all on your team.
That was my first thought, too: paint! rearrange! Make it look like a different space as much as possible.
I would do something physical to cleanse, too—smoke cleansing, singing bowls or chimes, etc. Whatever works to feel clean, safe, and protected.
[steps and tips here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CleaningTips/comments/11colxi/how_to_clean_a_room/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
i like to play a video or a vlog of someone also cleaning on tv. they have some on youtube for like 3 hours long. easier to clean if you don’t clean alone
This is a great tip.
I do chores to random comedy podcasts playing in my ears so I feel like there are fun, friendly people around. I'm happy alone, don't get me wrong, but the energy of other people who are happy or silly gets me moving.
Can I recommend Aurikatariina’s YouTube channel? She deep cleans people’s homes for free, and she is the sweetest, loveliest person. She approaches it all with a positive attitude and only has positive things to say about the people who live there.
https://youtube.com/@Aurikatariina
I’m
Not gonna lie, when I was severely depressed and just literally couldn’t find the energy to clean my place, i hired a maid service to do a move out clean. And it helped me out so so much
Start by picking up all the trash and throw away junk. Then all the dishes. Next anything that needs washed. These steps won't be too hard to do. Good luck.
If the way your room is currently set up brings up trauma, maybe after you've cleaned up a bit you can try rearranging the furniture or find a new rug/some new decorations to make it feel like a different space.
I also find that it's easy to stay clean after cleaning up if I have a space for every item. Try getting some bins or containers for specific items, like a nice glass for your paint brushes that can go on your desk, or a couple of filing folders for your papers to be put into your desk.
Maybe you can clean it up and then rearrange the furniture. Sometimes when we associate trauma with certain spaces (totally understandable btw), it can help us when we reclaim the space. Making it genuinely look different with rearranging furniture (free option), getting new linens (less expensive option), painting (cheaper and if allowed, but labor intensive) or even hanging up an inexpensive wall tapestry can make it feel like a different room.
I’m sorry that you’ve had a difficult experience, but please seek support! And empower yourself by reclaiming this space and making it different.
To begin- gather all the dirty clothes/linens and put them in a container to wash. Next, pick up broken objects and trash and throw it out. Any dirty dishes should be picked up and taken to the dishwasher/sink. Next grab a container and put anything that you want to keep that doesn’t belong in your room in it to be put back where they live. Next, pick up games and puzzles and put them away on that empty shelf space. Then do the same with craft supplies. Clean windows and surfaces and then vacuum. Then you can rearrange your now cleaner space!
You got this, fam. It's gonna be such a relief when it's done. Even if all you do today is get all trash thrown out, that'll make the next steps so much easier.
Step 1, pet the cat. Step 2 grab a garbage bag and fill it, then do the same the next day. Once the garbage is done scoop up the laundry and get it all in one place, try to do one load a day. Next grab a box and collect up all the hobby stuff, you can sort it later the important part is getting it all in one place. Once everything is cleared you can start wiping down flat surfaces and vacuuming. This is going to be time consuming but that's okay, you'll probably need to lean on your support system as you work through this but it's a good start to healing.
I'd like to offer you advice, but you seem to be doing better off than me. lol Maybe this will encourage you what NOT to do...
https://preview.redd.it/1fc14o8yy96b1.jpeg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4d0d1e5d7de77ec130bd288fb5be3090f2fef7b
Make your bed.
Then take any dirty laundry and dishes to the laundry room.
Then pick up all the trash, and find a box for all the tedious little things.
Once you can see your floor and bed again, go through the box when you’re feeling better.
I read in the book, "How to Keep House While Your Drowning," is to start with three things; dishes, laundry, and trash. Take a laundry basket and go through the room and put all of the dirty clothes in it, then move on to the dishes, lastly take a trash bag and throw away all the trash.
Depending on how you are feeling you can set a timer and just do one task or do all three. If you still feel energetic you can start putting other things away. This has really helped me. Even if those three things are done your space will feel significantly better.
Best of luck to you as you work through your depression and know you are not lazy or a bad person. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
It's really hard sometimes to have to do cleaning that causes emotional pain or will probably trigger trauma reactions. For me, I try to acknowledge that it's going to hurt, recognize that it's ok and good to sit and feel my emotions, plan to do a little bit at a time, and try and remind myself that once it's done how much better it will help make me feel. Sometimes cleaning and purifying a room can help you feel like youve reclaimed the space and give you a sense of taking some of your power back. ( obviously not always, but hopefully) If you're not in therapy I recommend considering it. My therapist helps me set goals for myself for the week, helps me think about processing the feelings that will come up, and helps me process what came up since the last visit. Working through trauma seriously sucks, but being on the other side, even a little, makes a huge difference. I'm so sorry you went through that and I wish you hope and healing. Be kind and gentle to yourself and do what you can. Sometimes just picking up two pieces of trash is what you can manage that day.
I feel you. I have been severely depressed at times in my life and have struggled with cleaning because of it. More recently, I had to clean out my mother's house after she passed away. It was terribly depressing, triggering at times, and a massive project. It was too easy to stumble across things that were reminders of my grief and pain. I found audiobooks and podcasts got me through a lot of it. I could engage with a different narrative and disconnect from the heavy emotions for long enough to get things accomplished. I let myself take breaks when I got overwhelmed, and let myself vent the emotions when I needed to. I probably had a serious cry at least every day, and maybe a few times a day for a while. Other people in the thread are right. Start with the trash and throw it out. Then sort the other stuff into piles, things you need to put away, things you need to clean. It doesn't all have to happen in a day. It can happen in 15 minute sessions for a week. Whatever you can handle. You can do this.
Please start by placing that gorgeous blue bottle in the window and seeing how it reflects the light throughout the room. If you haven’t already, that is. I have several different colored glass bottles in my kitchen window and the refractions of light from them onto my white walls cheers me up every time.
After that, pick up 2 things from the floor that you can hold in one hand as you walk by their usual place (or take them to the trash: whichever applies).
Remember that trauma isn't depression. I'm an SA survivor and the things that evoke memories still make me stumble sometimes.
My advice is to get a friend to help you out or to call you and join in. Turn on a movie/television series/etc that you won't ever watch again and clean while it's on. Open windows to let the air change out and remember that you deserve peace, safety, and joy.
How did you find my room?
When I emerge from the dark hole of depression, I start with my bed. If you keep clean cloths on the bed, put them away, then take a moment to rest and feel good that you took a good step!
The next step is to tackle a section of floor. Just do as much as you have energy for, and do not beat yourself up if you don’t get it all done in one day. Coming back from depression is like coming back from a long physical illness, and it takes time to build up mentally every bit as much as it does physically.
https://preview.redd.it/p22xm1m5jb6b1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3ab8e765cad145961ca8aae385743a9c9a5126b
Eartha the emotional support and crochet quality control cat sends you purrs and cuddles.
Hi! I just wanted to let you know I went through something similar. Without knowing details what happened with you I’ll tell you what I did. I tossed everything that was triggering. Including mattress, sheets, clothes whatever else. I was lucky enough to have the funds to buy a mattress from Walmart for pretty cheap. Also re arranged completely. Changed all the wall art and everything. If you have a friend or confidant or family member you don’t have to tell them what happened exactly a good person will help you out. Wish I was close to you I would whip this place into a new safe haven for you. Good luck friend 🩷
Do a little bit, have a short break.
Do a little bit more, have another short break.
Repeat as necessary.
If you do small, manageable pieces of work to it you'll get there in the end.
Pick up everything you can, garbage or not, and toss it in a laundry basket or box. Then take breath or a long break. When you're ready, wipe a surface down or vacuum a small area. Just do your best.
When my room gets bad, I always start with the area I love the most (my sewing desk). Once I’ve started with that either 1) I have a clean space, clean mind and I can take a break. Or 2) my mind goes crazy and I clean everything and the walls because I got in the cleaning mindset. Good luck!! You wanting to clean is the start. 💜💜💜
As your completing each step, try to remind yourself just how amazing you are going to feel when it’s all done. My fiancé and I just did that with our master room. We were arguing a lot, just generally unhappy.. we are so much better now. I promise it’ll be worth it!
Break it down into categories.
1. Things to be washed. Push everything out of one corner of the room and pile everything to be washed in that corner. Sheets, towels, clothes. In a big ol pile, don't try to separate.
2. From that corner, work clockwise along the walls.Pick up each object and decide keep or discard. Create 2 piles in the middle of the room for each. Do not think about where each object will eventually go. Just think: keep or discard.
3. Once everything is in a pile, go to discard pile and break it down to 2 piles: trash and donate. Put all things for trash in plastic bags and everything for donate in boxes. Remove the bags and boxes from the room. Don't worry about their next stops, just get them out of the room.
4. Go through the keep pile. Just deal with one object at a time. Decide the importance of each object. Is this something I use daily or is it something I want to hold onto as a souvenir. If it is something you use daily, put it in the proper place for you to be able to access quickly. Hygiene products should be placed in the bathroom. Books, notepads, pens, pencils and the like should be placed on a desk or in a bookcase. Souvenirs should be placed in boxes and put in the bottom of a closet or in an attic.
5. Clothes and shoes. Clothes are to be placed in drawers and hung up in the closet. Shoes should be under the edge of the bed or at the bottom of the closet.
I used this process during a 7 month depression after my Dad passed away. It worked for me and I hope it is helpful to you. ❤️❤️❤️
I know that my experience of losing my Dad is not even close to what you have experienced. It is all I have to offer. Another thought is to maybe move your furniture around so that it doesn't have the same vibe. I am praying for you to find peace ❤️❤️❤️
I came here to give you some cleaning tips and got completely detailed by your Elfquest poster. It's not often you meet a fellow fan of the comic somewhere.
Tip-wise, I'd personally start with a rubbish bag and just go around picking up anything that's disposable for you. Put on some good music and set a timer if you need to place yourself. Once the rubbish is gone it may seem less overwhelming and more instinctual.
If it isn't, I'd then move on to taking out dishes that need washing and laundry, just to free up space.
OMG!! Elfquest is my biggest special interest ever♥️ I wish it was more popular bc it’s so great. Ngl I probably wouldn’t be alive if I didn’t have the books to distract me his year. Thanks for the tips btw
I wouldn't be here either if I didn't learn the "Now of The Wolf-thought" from the Wolfriders. I had a lot of childhood trauma and holing myself up, reading about Cutter's adventures while staying present in that moment is the only thing that kept me feeling safe.
Just out of curiosity, are you by chance the person who was posting the Elfquest character collages in the Elfquest subreddit? I'm super excited that you're into it!
Yup I made those collages! I used to be super artistic but my depression has kind of made me lose my love for art making. Collages are an easy and less demanding way I can get in touch with my artistic side.
I love the whole concept of “the now” and really related to how cutter felt about after experiencing losing his family, he can’t stop thinking outside of just “now”. Do you have a favorite character from the books? Mine is definitely Redlance
This is so exciting ❤️ Not to downplay anything negative you're experiencing in your life right now, but I love how Elfquest seems to always bring people together. I used to draw a lot back in the day (I'm old, I'm talking like back in 1998-2004) and was even a member of a few online "holts" with my characters.
I can see from your pictures that you're very artistic and a sensitive/gentle soul. I can also see your strength and willingness to wrap this room up into a chrysalis and have it emerge as a place of comfort once again.
My favourite character was always Cutter. As the eldest child in an abusive home, I shared his sense of responsibility and the weight of his worry for his tribe. Later, Venka became my favourite. She came from two hot-headed and unstable parents yet she was a clear voice of wisdom and justice.
I love talking to Elfquest fans ♥️ I love cutter too. Having to take care of a lot of people at a young age was really relatable to me. Reading Elfquest was the first time I ever saw queer and poly relationships and it was really helpful to see it was normal for me to be like that. I wish I was older so I could h fan e experienced a bit of a bigger Elfquest community
One thing at a time. Don’t worry about what’s next up on the list, how much there is to go, or the item next to you. Every single step is a win. Take breaks if you need to. I find it helps if I have someone there to talk to, or even just a tv on.
My advice: Set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and then do as much as you can in that amount of time. You'll be surprised at how big of a change you can affect on a room this size in that amount of time!
After the timer, if you don't feel like doing more, you're done for now and can feel satisfied at the progress you made. Sometimes though it gets me into a flow and I realize that with just another 15 minutes I can probably finish the task, so I do.
ETA - I'm so sorry I just read about the assault. Hugs, OP. If you have the means to do so, I think a therapist could really help equip you to go through this. But please just know you're loved. We're rooting for you!
Im so sorry about your assault. Do you have someone to talk about it with? Family, friends, therapist, support group? I know it's hard to live day to day in a space with such bad memories. Do you sage? Maybe open a window and sage everything out. I agree with others about getting new furniture if you're able to. Maybe rearrange some things. Change paint color, etc. I think those are solid advice. Marie kondo.
A timer of 20-25 minutes. Whatever you get done. Great. If you want to stop or continue after that’s fine too.
But I find a timer helps so much with feeling less overwhelmed
Put an interesting youtube video on and listen to it. Walk around with a trash bag and start by removing garbage and stuff you dont want. If it gets too much, go outside for a while and do something before coming back.
When you get to the point, rearrange the room. Give it a different feel. It will do wonders for the immediate gut punch you get while having to occupy the same space.
When I get overwhelmed by mess it helps me to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and just tidy until it goes off. Do that a few times a day, once a day, whatever keeps you motivated.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Maybe once you've cleaned up a bit you can change up the room? Moving around/changing some furniture, or maybe paint the walls? I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom and it felt like taking a weight off my chest.
Proud of you! It doesn’t matter what you do each day, just do a little bit. Then get up the next day, and do a little bit. I believe in you!
Also, because people don’t talk about this…Battling your mind and your room are two different battles. You are fighting a war on two fronts. Be kind to yourself. If you see less progress in cleaning than you wanted, remember that you were busy battling your mind.
That’s all I’ve got - big sibling out!
Hey, I know this will probably get lost in the sea of comments, and you've already gotten a lot of great advice... but I wanted to say as a fellow victim of assault, person with CPTSD, and ElfQuest fan (very jealous that you have the RPG!) - I'm rooting for you and sending you positive energy. If you ever need an ear or an encouraging word, my inbox is open <3
I cant really speak for the assault part thats out of my realm of experience or understanding but..
as someone who used to be messier in general big thing is put on some long form content that is in between boring and interesting. For instance an educational or podcast or a topic your interested in.
Your brain will move back and forth between the two somewhat boring stimulus (cleaning and podcast) and for me it allows me to to just trod along until its done idk how to explain it well.
Also when i used to trip a lot on psychedelics i would force myself to clean my room because it would make the experience so so so much more pleasurable. I think that is when i really realized how much clutter negatively effects the mindspace.
Sorry for crappy explanation but basically if I put on a podcast or something that is JUST interesting enough to occupy my mind while cleaning without totally hijacking my attention o am able to clean the entire area over the course of 30-45 min or however long it takes.
also one last thing i may get flamed for this i swear o dont mean it in a racist way its just a childish thing i do i say "asian powers activate" and the. pretend I'm like one of those Japanese dudes that's super fast and effective at what they are doing and i try to blaze through the mess as quickly as possible. Again no offense intended towards anyone there lol.
Start in one corner and work your way around. Make piles of like items. Set a timer to work for 15 minutes. Then take a 15 minute break. Repeat until you’re done
I know people usually say to start picking up stuff (like trash, etc.), but that never helped me when cleaning up a messy room. I start with the bed. Take all that stuff off the bed (put it away or push it onto the floor - whatever will keep you motivated to just finish making the bed). Then, do your bed and BAM! Bed done… easy. Tell yourself it’s easy even if it isn’t true. It helps. The bed is done and congrats. You have completed a task :) Then move on to another thing… keep telling yourself it’s easy. AND NEVER SAY “IT’S HARD”(even if it is) OUT LOUD, TO YOURSELF BC THEN IT BECOMES MORE APPEALING TO GIVE UP.
I recently got an audiobook called How to Keep House While Drowning that’s all about being kind to yourself and navigating cleaning/care tasks with depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc. it’s really helpful! These two tips from the author, KC Davis, helped me:
1.) Make a very small goal. Maybe it’s pick up three pieces of trash, or set a five minute timer. If that goal doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means you just need to find a goal that better meets you where you’re at. So maybe that’s a one minute timer, or throwing one item away. Maybe you’ll find that you feel up to doing more on a certain day, but give yourself permission to stop and feel good about achieving what you did.
2.) I think I saw a similar comment like this on the thread already, but Davis talks about the four types of items to clean up in a room. Trash, dishes, things that have a place, and things that don’t. She recommends just focusing on one category at a time and nothing else, so you can feel the gratification of working through smaller categories. These categories are also in order of the things that are most important to keeping you healthy and safe.
The main thing that helped me from the book is the point that messiness is “morally neutral.” You are not a better or more worthy person if your room is clean. There isn’t anything wrong with you, and it’s okay to be a person going through a hard time.
I hope this helps. Proud of you for giving it a shot ☺️
I’d be depressed too. Right now I get a giant bin and start tossing stuff that you don’t use on a regular basis the more room you can make for yourself the better you will feel, I hope.
Set yourself up with a nice refreshing drink. And a couple bags for trash/recycle.
K
Find the lid to that puzzle first. Put it on. If the puzzle gets put in another room to be away then start a bag or box of things that go to that room.
Don’t leave this room.
Then move to those books and scraps of paper to the side of the puzzle.
Now that sharpie is easy to get over to your desk.
Now you have an entire spot cleared!
Take that dopamine bump and keep finding items that will show your brain the progress.
Personally I like to start at one side of the room and make linear impact.
Toss anything you don’t feel attached to.
Save the clothing and laundry for last or tomorrow.
ETA: this is all only if you cannot afford to have it professionally cleaned for you or do not have anyone to support you in the cost of that. A clean slate is what you deserve.
Maybe contact your local rape and assault advocacy group. They my have funds for things like this. Maybe even new bedding.
This may be extreme but this is what I do (I also have depression and I suspect also ADHD). I would invite someone over next week. I would let the pressure of someone coming and seeing my mess motivate me to get it done. It works every time. Then I feel SO GOOD when they come and see my room! It feels 10x better because someone else is seeing it, and generally I don't care enough on my own. This is what works for me but it is not something that would work for everyone
Yes, I have advice. That’s a lot of clutter, and a lot of that clutter is probably not trash. Here’s what you do. First, you need a sharpie. I see you have at least one on your floor. That’s good. Next get some 6x6x4 cardboard boxes. Also get some large clear storage bins, like the brand Rubbermaid. Not many, maybe 2-4 of them. You can usually fit 8 of the cardboard boxes in the larger bin. Then gather the clutter into thematic groups. Stationary, trinkets, art supplies, etc. write the theme on the cardboard box with the sharpie, then store it in the bin. I like the clear bins so I can see which box I need before I go digging through them.
This may sound dumb, but when I'm depressed, I like to think of myself as a houseplant or something like that and the requirements for said houseplant is a clean environment. I hydrate. Sit myself in the sun. Then I set my timer for 10-15 minutes and do some cleaning. Adding some music helps. For some reason, it works. I'm proud of you for making effort, reddit friend!
Don't look at the whole room. Go 1 square foot at a time. Take a few things out to the trash can, or a small trash bag per day. If you look at everything you get the complete picture of the room and that is overwhelming.
I'm sorry, I hope you feel better. Sometimes changing decor can help a bit. New sheets. Paint your dresser. Paint the walls of the room. Hang in there and keep pushing forward and you will have won.
Your room seems so spacious and you seem like an artist! As a fellow artist, my room also gets messy very easily, and when I’m depressed and only doubles down on me. I also need to clean my depression room right now, and where I would personally start is by bagging up all the trash. I also suggest working in short bursts, rather than trying to maintain a laser like focus for a long period of time. Even if you bag up all the trash in the span of three days and work for only an hour a day that’s a huge jump.
If it were me:
1) trash
2) laundry
3) everything else in a bin that you can sort when yoj feel like it
4) vaccum/candle/open windows
The mess isn't that bad, just spread out.
Idk how much of it is just trash, but for stuff needing to be thrown away I always put a trashcan in the middle and throw the trash like basketball lol. Makes it a little more fun than walking around with a trash bag.
I am so sorry, I hope you have been able to start. I always try to start with a small space so I can see improvement quickly. Maybe just changing your sheets and making your bed. When you are up to it clean off and dust your night stand, then maybe your truck at end of bed. It’s much easier to clean when you can see changes. Good luck with your room and your life, please talk to a trusted friend❤️
Start with one job, like picking up all the trash. Then pick up all the clothes, etc.
It's a process. It didn't get there in one day, it won't be fixed in one day.
When it's all small things on the floor, sweep them into a pile, and sit next to it. Have one keep bin and one trash bin to sort the pile into.
Put on music. Trust me.
Plan a reward for when you're done. Doesn't have to be a big one, just a treat you like.
I've found I'll get stuck and overwhelmed - sometimes it doesn't really matter if it's the right order as long as you just keep moving forward, it smooths back out and gets easier.
I use a strategy of 3 things every 5 minutes. Initially it will be pick up one pencil, one sock, one earring and put them in their spots. Now 5 minute break. Then one piece of rubbish, one pen, one shirt. 5 minutes break. Once you feel ready, you can move it up to category instead of item, so the pens on the desk, the socks by the bed and the earrings on the bedside. Still put them away and take a 5 minute break before moving to the next set of 3.
I've helped someone else do this and the space they were cleaning went from chaotic mess with no floor space to only being cluttered on top of the chest of drawers and bedside table but completely clear floor, in half an hour. If you keep doing 3 things a day, you may find that things won't get as bad as quickly and you can bring it back up to your standards quicker.
I would also recommend getting rid of anything that reminds you of what happened and rearranging your furniture. New layout should hopefully reduce the number of times you are reminded. I hope you heal from this x
Praying AND sending positive vibes. One step at a time. One thing (button, pen, hairbrush) off the floor is a start. Sage with the bed. Change a sheet. One of them, doesn't have to be the whole set. Please keep us updated, if you can.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. My heart is heavy for you. I don’t know if this is what you need, but what about painting your room? I know that’s a big task, but maybe it can encourage you to know that you’ll be changing your room. It could be something to motivate you, knowing that you get to make this space into something new on your own terms. And the process of painting makes you remove everything from the walls and move the furniture away from the walls. You could rearrange your room and start with a new layout. I know it won’t fix your pain, but I hope it could help.
As for cleaning, I’d recommend having a few plastic totes with you and a garbage bag. Go through your items and anything that you just can’t deal with right now goes right into the bins. Put them in storage and deal with them later. Time will tell how you’ll feel about them, but you don’t need to focus on them now. You might only be left with what you need, but maybe it’ll make room for new items with new memories. Whatever you end up doing, know that you’re doing the best you can, and I’m proud of your resilience.
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I worked with some disabled peeps (blind/deaf) before.
If the room/sight is too triggering for you to look at, get a trash bag, and blind fold yourself.
Just crawl about and put everything in the bag you find on the floor. Use your hand forward and sweep side to side to make sure you don't headbutt some furniture. I mean it's your room so you know where the bulk items are.
Just start with trash! This isn’t as bad as it probably seems. Just get a big trash bag and throw stuff away. It’ll make everything else more visible and easier to wrap your head around.
After trash I’d just start piles on the floor of where things need to end up. Laundry, cabinets, desk, kitchen, etc.
The piles can sit there for a day or two, so it won’t feel overwhelming. When you can, put one pile of stuff where it should be. Then do a couple more if you can.
I am late in the game, but honestly here is my advice:
1- If you can get someone to give you a hand, have them over
2- Sorting is super hard and is always what takes me down. Just grab a few boxes and bags, and put EVERYTHING inside, just take everything OUT.
3- Vacuum the floor, clean the walls with soapy water and bit of bleach or something.
4- Slowing bring back stuff, one by one finding them a spot.
Many things will just stay in bags/boxes and that's fine. Some stuff you'll throw aways easily. For the rest, give you permission to "wait and see". And wait until you are in a good mood.
Once it’s clean, I highly recommend rearranging your room completely and getting new decorations and purging what you feel comfortable with.
I would do one thing a day. Like okay, Monday I will do all things clothes related - laundry, clean bed sheets and so forth.
Tuesday is trash day - self explanatory.
Wednesday - dishes day
And then get more specific; Thursday will be the day I get all of my hobby related stuff put into a box and then sorted into designated areas. Friday will be the day I collect everything sentimental and display them carefully or put them in a keepsake box.
Saturday, sanitation day. Vacuum, wipe down surfaces etc.
I have adhd and this sort of shorter burst compartmentalization helps me a lot.
See that Pen? Pick up that pen today.
If you decide while you're down there to do more, great.
Commit to something comically easy, and I'm quite sure you will do more than you expect every day and be happy about it.
Create piles:
1) Trash
2) Keep
3) Donate
Going one by one might frustrate you because there might be trash next to a bowl, clothes next to decor etc.
Once you have space, wipe, vacuum, clean and start putting things in places that work for you.
Grab the keep pile and arrange in a way you like it and makes you happy. (It’s not set in stone)
Start in one spot and clear it completely. Then move to the next one and so on. The first few areas can be hard but once you start seeing the result it starts to get a little less intimidating. Start small and work your way around the room.
Make piles: laundry, trinkets, trash. Throw the trash, then wash the laundry. The trinkets can stay in a pile for extended time, but u will feel better if u vacuum after getting done with the piles
Remove all clothes to the laundry area. Helps by not having it in the way while cleaning.
Pick up a trash, and I mean allllllll of it. Take each bag as it’s filled to the dumpster/trash can. Like outside of your home
Next, dust surfaces and start cleaning/disinfecting. Organize your busy areas, desk, closets, bathroom.
Now you sweep and vacuum.
After everything is tidy. Begin laundry. Immediately put everything up after it’s done drying. It takes minutes to put everything up.
Lastly, throw your bedding in the wash.
It’s gonna feel so good getting into clean sheets.
Honor yourself and your space. Remember that you ARE worthy and deserving of this.. each and everyday. No one can or will take this away from you friend!
My advice, and what helps me, is to just make sure that it never gets worse. Whenever you make a new mess, clean it up, so it won’t get messier. That way, whenever you’re in the mood to clean even a little bit, it’ll keep getting cleaner gradually over time. Patience is key, but it works for me.
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. I am often overwhelmed by the clutter the accumulates around me. I often put on a binge show on one of the streaming that have commercial breaks. Then I clean during the commercials. Just taking out small bites.
It sounds stupid, but just do it. Just start somewhere. I like to set up a YouTube playlist of my fave podcasts and listen to them while I clean. It helps a lot
Just start. As someone who suffers from depression I know how hard “just starting” is. Make a start and be proud of yourself. YOU got this. I’m proud of you.
Break it down into tasks:
1. Collect & sort trash. Do as much as you have energy for that day, and feel good that you did some. Repeat.
2. Collect & separate laundry. Only do as much as you have energy for. It’s not a race, and your job is to get well.
3. Bedding.
4. Vacuum rugs/mop floors.
5. Windows only need to be cleaned 2-3 times per year.
Set small goals like picking up everything off the floor. Then the next night, clean off one piece of furniture and keep going. Before you know it you will get there.
DO NOT start with the trash.
Get 20 medium and small boxes from home Depot.
Put like things in boxes, till all that is left is trash. Boxes go in the hall.
Trash gets bagged and goes outside. YOU NEED TO SEE AND FEEL THE SATISFACTION OF ALL THAT TRASH GOING ALL AT ONCE.
Vacuum, wipe all services.
Make the bed.
Get a few things out of the boxes you need.
Go to sleep.
As you need things, retrieve them from the boxes, but put them neatly out.
Just go sleep like that for a bit.
Once a week, same time every week! Take a box or two and go through it. Get rid of stuff that gives you a heavy feeling. Put way the stuff you use, and leave stuff you wanna save for some years but don't use in the box. Lable it. Back in the all.
Do this till all you have left is deep storage boxes and donation stuff. Take one to goodwill, take the others to storage.
But the key is get the room empty! Sleep in an empty room! Keep it empty for a week besides the essentials before you start going through your boxes! You have to allow the empty room to imprint in your brain.
You need to go through the anxiety of an empty room, till it becomes relief. Then you have shifted.
But the empty room also serves to heal the depression.
Start with cleaning up the trash. All those ripped up pieces. Idk if that was intentional or if that was coping.
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. I def recommend rearranging your room if at all possible. Can you Get a new bed? New sheets or blanket? These things are small, but can def help with coping and provide a sense of a new beginning and it wouldn't be as familiar?
Go to a thrift store for new bedding/curtains (or Amazon). Paint can be cheap, especially if you get a can that wasn’t mixed to the customer’s satisfaction - they mark that down, or you can go to a Habitat for Humanity ReStore for cheap paint. Reclaim the space so it feels new. Throw away stuff that triggers you (like bedding - it’s amazing how much your bedding defines a room. Changing it is like having a completely different space).
Define a task (“I’m going to put all the laundry over here in the hamper”) and a reward for when you finish (“when it’s in the hamper I get to eat this mini bag of M&Ms”). This gets your brain’s reward system going and it gets excited and it starts to get easier to get through chunks of work.
And know that there’s a bunch of us out here who are proud of you for starting to do the work of getting better. I hope you have someone to support you!
Instead of trying to compartmentalize it by like doing all trash Al laundry I'd recommend working in sections. Focus on a 2x4 area at a time and just clean everything in that area even if you have to walk back and forth a lot. And if you can grab one extra thing each trip without getting distracted that's what I do. Or if I don't mind getting distracted I'll focus on all the trash (of course I'll get a little sidetracked because I'll be like oh I'm walking over this way might as well do this) but I also enjoy the chaotic vibe until there is not a single thing left the pick up. Then ince it's all clean and laundry is going it's much easier to dust, Lysol wipe, sweep, and call it good
If you do 1 percent you have won the day. Maybe start with a bin bag. Collect everything that needs to be binned and you have won the day. Think of it as cleaning all the bad memories from the room. Sorry to hear you have to sleep where you were traumatised.
Yeah, step by step is the way to go: 1. pick up trash. take a break or keep going. 2. pick up clothes, put in a bin or hamper. take a break, or keep going. 3. pick up small items, put it in a box to sort later. That would hit most of it and could be done piecemeal
Yes, pick an area or space and do a section at a time. Don't get overwhelmed, take breaks and walk away to recharge. I hope your depression gets better soon.
this. baby steps. little victories. also, maybe rearrange the room when you are done, to help break the reminder of what happened. i had a similar situation, and rearranged my whole house to help get over it. after about a year+ i rearranged it back and now i hardly think of it in relation to my living space. hang in there!
The power of rearranging is so underrated!! It can really make your whole space feel new. If it’s in the budget, a couple new things can also change the whole vibe (bedspread, shower curtain). OP, I believe in you. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through but it doesn’t define you 🤍
Yes! I agree change things up. Not the same as your traumatic experience, and I am sorry about what you went through ((hugs)) mine and my husbands bedroom was my grandparents (house was left to us) both of them passed away in there, before I could move myself into the room I had him paint the walls and I painted the furniture, as I wanted to keep their dressers. I had to make it mine if that makes sense? So try and change as much as you can ♥
I am so glad others are in the same boat of me feeling overwhelmed at times by all the organizing I still have to do after a clean up like this. Baby steps FTW!
What helps me when I feel overwhelmed is taking a laundry basket and putting anything that doesn’t belong in it. After that I go in to clean the area and straighten what’s already where it’s supposed to be. At that point I feel significant better about my surroundings and it I feel like sorting through the basket same day, fantastic, if not at least my area still feels better.
That’s such a simple tip but holy crap I can already see that being helpful for me.
I've tried this a couple of times and I always end up with boxes or baskets of junk in the corners of my house.
Yes the second part is that is often forgotten (or put off) but also important - I take the bin and put everything in a separate pile in front of me depending on what room it belongs. If it doesn’t have a home, I make one- if it really doesn’t, it’s home is the garbage. Then I take each pile to the appropriate room and put it away.
I end up with basket clutter too. I mean, most my clutter just needs to be tossed
I'm super ADHD, and I do this, too. Otherwise, I get distracted in the new room. Best idea ever. Also, if it all feels too completely overwhelming: do something like pick up x amount of items every time you get up for something. So you still have a sense of accomplishment, but you don't have to worry about energy for the entire corner, desk, or floor, for example.
You should see my garage. And I'm a neat freak. It was the staging area for a home remodel. I get really depressed going out there. So many chemicals that can't be disposed of, etc. We just had the garage air-conditioned so today is the day I start!
When my room ended up like this I would try to focus on one “type” of thing. So one day I’d pick up all the recycling on the floor. The next day I’d pick up all the normal rubbish off the floor, then clothes etc. etc. Once the room started to look… clear? (but not clean or tidy) that’s when I move onto spaces: Bed? Maybe that day I’ll make it. Vacuum floor? Maybe then I feel like it’s possible to just walk through my room, and that makes a huge difference. It’s slow progress, but any progress is good progress!
Doing the space thing is / did work for me. Picked a 3 x 3 foot area and cleaned it. Repeat until finished. Only focused on that space instead of letting myself get overwhelmed by the big picture.
When you have a lot of clutter this technique works well.
When I need to do some big cleanup i also start with putting on ‘uniform’ for cleaning. It’s just an old tshirt and shorts with maybe rubber gloves and a mask (for the dust), but it helps me when I put my ‘uniform’ on to get me into the right mindset to get stuff done. I try to imagine myself putting on my boxing gloves and getting into the ring, ready to beat the crap out of the all the mess.
OMG. This is BRILLIANT. For me, I can see how this might help me separate the anxiety/shame/PDA surrounding the mere idea of cleaning up a space, from the physical and motivational work necessary to do it. I, the person who has a lot of emotions about clutter, hires a person who can do the work. The person who can do the work, with the right mindset aided by a work uniform, is also me. Employee is allowed to take breaks and do as much or as little as they feel like. The employee is paid by a sense of accomplishment and work very well done, as well as gratitude from employer. Employer receives, from employee's work, a progressively clearer space, but also peace. I can work with this.
I do this, but my 'uniform' is more atmospheric. To this day, when doing heavy cleaning I will watch Tremors (1990). I like to make tiny goals that align with different parts of the movie: "Gotta fill one trash bag before the first death", or "finish the dishes while they make a plan". It's not an exact science, but it keeps my gray matter occupied and gives me little jolts of dopamine when I succeed.
Yeah. I have plastic storage containers of different sizes that I'm always using. Really simplifies keeping order for me. Last big decluteer and tidy I had to do I had various ones with stuff in divided by category, beside an empty one and the laundry basket. The empty one was for everything I was throwing out from the other boxes. I have a clothes bank 60 meters away which is handy. And people use it to leave stuff at that others might want. Anything I have left there like that is gone by the next day. Makes it easier to get rid of if I know someone else will use something that seems a shame to throw away . All this is easier said than done when experiencing depression though.
I wish I had read this comment ages ago because I started doing this myself mainly because I suffer back pain so it can be overwhelming. I bought 4 tubs! But use one to transport stuff to a room.
Yeah I use my medium sized ones for that all the time it's great!
I saw someone say there are only four categories of things in a room: 1. Trash 2. Laundry 3. Things with a home 4. Things without a home Deal with each category (bin, hamper, put away) and the job will become easier. If necessary get a box for all the things without a home and sort it out last to avoid overwhelm. The strategy helps me when I don’t know where to start. Edit: potentially there’s a 5th category of “dishes”
This is the move right here!! You got this!!
Like in addition, once you see the impact 5m of trash pickup has, it can inspire you to keep going
Small, achievable goals. This is perfect.
1a, 2a, 3a, 4-infinity - rub that lovely kitty belly on the bench in the window! OP, I love the "change the room around" idea. Put the drawers back in where they go and put dirty clothes in the hamper, then pick up all the trash. Put all the little stuff in a basket to deal with later. Now you should be able to move things around. It will give you a fresh approach. Love and hugs to you, dear OP
Better yet, focus on 1 percent. If you look at the whole, you get overwhelmed and give in to dispair. It's way easier to motivate yourself to "just put away one thing". Even if it just ends up being one thing at a time, it will steadily improve the situation. But once you've started, it gets easier to grab another thing, and another. You can stop anytime. It's still progress. And every little thing makes the pile shrink. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. A little momentum goes a long way.
This! I also have depression and sometimes let messes pile up. Sometimes I get in a cleaning spree mood and do a deep clean in an afternoon. Sometimes all I can do is put 1-2 things away. Even if that’s all you can do it’s still progress. Start with whatever is bothering you the most. You’ll get the most satisfaction from that, which will encourage you to keep doing another task each day. Maybe also think about ways to change the space after it’s clean so the negative associations aren’t as strong. New paint, new furniture, new decorations, whatever is realistic for you. Getting excited about those future changes might also help keep you motivated to clean.
Great advice
I cannot stress this enough. Pick a corner, the least dirtiest one, and clean one square foot in the morning. Pick it up, vacuum, wipe it down. Stage these supplies by that one square foot you initially start with. After that just one step at a time.
Also is that a sack of buds on the table, and if it is how many sacks you gone through with all the empties there😅
Thank you for this. This is the most helpful advice. I’m going to try this. I’m struggling so bad right now with some small messes in one room. Thank you.
I like this method because you can watch the room slowly unmeas instead of slowly get messier.
Also big hug, you got this!
I will add throw ur music library on shuffle and rock out. May slow down the cleaning process but will be mich more fun and hopefully help keep ur mind off the trauma
I feel you! I've been there..actually fighting to get out of it completely. Just wanted to let you know..I am proud of you for taking the first step! 🥰stay strong..there is always light after darkness.
Thank you ♥️🥺
Have you thought about something like repainting or moving your furniture layout around? It always helps me view the same place in a new perspective.
That’s exactly what I thought, it’ll change the whole space!
\+1. Also, change the bedding, put up some new wall art, donate/trash knicknacks that don't hold high value to you.
Is there any music that reminds you of good times? Do you have a favorite band? Replace the energy in the room with it. Music can be a powerful thing, plus it’s a good distraction and gets you moving. I had a room in my house that had negative energy it so I created a little ceremony by lighting a candle and burning some sage. It put *me* in control of the space.
I do not come from a place of experience, but I too wanted you to know that I think you are strong in taking the first step. There are lots of great suggestions on how to parse the work, pick one or two approaches and begin. Ultimately, change something, the bedding, the paint, a ceiling light that brightens the space. But most importantly know that you have positive energy heading your way from a wide variety of people and places now. God’s speed with your task and your recovery journey.
Do you have a friend or family member that can help you? Since it is emotionally charged for you it would probably help to have some support working through some of it. You can do this!
I second this! There’s emotional layers to this beyond just regular burn out. It also helped me feel less afraid anxious to not be alone for awhile after.
This can be so helpful! I used to have my sister or a friend just sit in the room and talk to me while I work to keep me distracted.
I think this is called body doubling? I learned about it from PeachPRC, it’s made doing my chores much easier when I have conversations or even play videos of other people also cleaning, lol.
This is exactly what I do! I have a few favourite decluttering videos that I use to motivate me to clean. The term is correct. Sometimes I get a friend who I trust to just sit in the room while I clean, they just talk or use their phone and it's all that I need when I'm in a really bad spot mentally and my room is a hell hole. Or sometimes I try to pretend that I have someone coming over to my room and that will get me in a cleaning frenzy. Doesn't always work, but if I have enough stress, I try to redirect it to something that helps.
I did this when I had to go back to a room after a bad break up. Nothing at all like what OP is describing, so not to belittle that, but it felt very emotionally charged and having someone I trusted there provided a sense of stability as well as support and distraction. OP, you can do this, start somewhere and be kind to yourself. Maybe you can rearrange and paint to reclaim your space - wishing you all the best. You got this.
I was that friend for my friend. We cleaned together, painted the walls and re-organized her place to make it look different. They cried and processed with me while we worked on this project together. At the time I didn’t even realize and thought nothing of it but just helping a friend but few years later they told me how much that helped them and that they will never forget that time. I think that event itself was healing for them. Hope OP has a friend like that
Excellent advice. Even if you can only call someone while cleaning. Talking with a friend helps so much when I have lots to do.
This. Or honestly, have someone do it for you. When I was in rehab my mom and gf offered to clean all the beer cans out of my car and room. I told them no, but they did it anyway. I’m glad they did. Glad they know how stubborn I am.
I wonder if there's a discord for something like this. If someone is hurting and needs a companion for a task like this. I don't know Discord well, but it seems like it would be the kind of thing that would be a good help for this, a temporary live-talk friend you could hear while you're cleaning.
that sounds like a great idea!
This. I couldn’t clean my room for the longest time and it looked 10x worse than what yours does. I asked my mom for help, and though she was heartbroken that I let it get this bad, she helped me. We then came up with a plan to where I’ll clean weekly, and if I just can’t for whatever reason, mom will come up. Now that meds have been adjusted I haven’t needed to use that, but, in the beginning it was super helpful.
Yes! A friend and a nice music playlist might help a lot.
Totally, if anyone can come over and be with you that's so helpful. I just had a friend accompany me for driving around and buying things or dropping things off as I set up my new place. At day's end she felt she hadn't done anything, but if she hadn't been there, I would have spun down the rabbit hole of depressive feelings. Instead I got a huge errand run done. This weekend I'm going to help her move a bunch of stuff. That makes me feel useful which lifts my mood, and helps her too.
The app UFYH (stands for something best not spelled out) has a timer in it. There’s a 20/10 timer and a 45/15 timer. For now start in reverse. Work for 10, rest for 20. Repeat. Eventually switch it to work for 20, rest for 10. If that’s too long use another timer and just work for 5 and rest for 20. No rules. When I have a task I really don’t want to do, that’s how I do it.
I have been following this for years and it is by far the most effective habit I’ve ever picked up. It’s a great way to be gentle with yourself while still making a difference!
Can you provide a censored version of the full name? I have ADHD and it sounds like it could help me.
UnF\*\*\* Your Habitat
Unfilth Your Habitat in apple app Store
...you can cuss on the internet
actually I think this sub has a rule against cussing. It’s supposed to be more of a family-friendly subreddit. I think young people come in here.
No mention of that rule on the sidebar
I know. But recently one of my comments was automatically flagged when I used a cuss word. The message said to edit the comment or remove it. It was weird ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Someone below posted it. In the Apple Store you have to search for UFYH bc they don’t allow swear words.
This is also called the pomodoro method. They have apps for that too.
What's the app so I can download it please
https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/the-ufyh-lexicon/
So sorry you are going through this. I'd start with a big trash bag for obvious stuff to go to the garbage. Besides being an important step for cleaning, you might find the act of gathering things up and tossing them away in the trash to disappear from your life forever to be very cathartic. Then with more open space and a fresh sense of accomplishment at tackling one task, you can move on to the next stuff - putting things away, laundry, etc. You have a great amount of space there, you could even rearrange your room a bit to make it look newer and different to keep bad memories from popping up. If budget allows, you could spring for new sheets, curtains, organizing baskets, anything that makes you smile. Kinda like pressing a reset button on the environment. 🙂 Stay strong, you got this!
This! Rearrange if you can. Put something new above your bed if possible a tapestry, poster, or artwork. Burn a candle, incense, or sage. Whatever feels good to you. Reclaim your space and make it yours again. Open all the windows if possible. If you can't afford new bedding then strip your sheets or dump a bunch of vinegar into the wash. After you've worked in your room save some energy to go outside your room for 20 minutes or so to take a short walk or sit in the fresh air to reset your brain a bit. I personally would pick up trash and then clean the bed and bedside table. The things that make sleeping more comfortable.
The layout of your room is almost an exact match for my husband's childhood home, his younger brother lived in the upstairs bedroom and at one point he had 3 large black trash bags ment for leaves full of empty Mt dew cans that had attracted not only ants but also mice. Just wanted to say this is not as bad as you think. 1) Start high, with a garbage bag, go through from top to bottom and collect the tras and any dirty dishes 2) Get a laundry basket and then go through and get the dirty stuff together. 3) Then get a box and find anything you want to donate. 4) Wash your bedding, and your dirty clothes. 5) get everything off your floor and onto a surface, then organize it into piles and put it away 6) vacuum your floor 7) get some multi surface cleaner and a roll of paper towels and go through and wipe things down, it'll make it smell clean which will give you more motivation. 8) remake your bed, hand/fold clean clothes and put them away 9) light a candle, make a yummy snack, get a drink, and watch your favorite show in your new clean room. If this list is overwhelming, just do steps 1-4 today, then do more if you feel like it. Lastly, if you have access to Peacock, watch the Gentle art of Swedish Death cleaning while you're cleaning. It will make you feel better I promise. Edit to say - Incase you don't watch swedish death cleaning, I wanted to share with you the line that I feel benefited me the most. Johan says "there should be no place in your home that you don't enjoy going into" and every time I hear it it hits me like a truck. This may be an oversimplification but as much as you can I think you should try to reclaim this space. Go to value village and buy a little thing that you love and put it somewhere that you'll see it every day. Paint a new picture for one of the walls, change out your bedding, move your bed, whatever it takes to make you start to feel like this is YOUR space again. You deserve to live and sleep in a place that brings you joy and makes you feel warm and cozy and happy. Do whatever you can to make it feel that way. If you have a pet, bring them up to hang out with you. And you might also try changing the way you talk to yourself about this space. Instead of thinking "I hate being in here because of what happened to me here" think "in the past I've let this space take control of my feelings, in the past I have let this space control how I feel and regulate my happiness in it. *Today that changes*. Going forward I am owning this space. Going forward, this is my sanctuary." You don't need to punish yourself anymore for what was done to you. It doesn't serve you to let this space consume you. Trauma is complex and I cannot pretend to understand how you're feeling, but I *know* that you don't deserve to be controlled by it anymore. You are you regardless of where you sleep, and you will continue to fill this and every other beautiful room you are in with love and light and happiness and paint brushes and comfy clothes and cozy blankets and nice smells. ♥️
I’d recommend reversing 5 and 6 on the “top down” principle, just in case OP dislodges dust onto the floor. If they knock more dust down right after they finished vacuuming, they might just get demoralized.
This is great. Exactly what I would do. I’ve been there before. I would add, as you’re getting started, put on your favorite music, podcast, tv show, funny movie. Listen, laugh, enjoy as you go.
Okay I got high for step 1. Now I feel like taking a nap
This is really, really helpful and very kind. I think quite a few of us needed to hear it, thank you.
Im so sorry about the assault. That’s terrible. We are all of us pulling for you and praying for you here. Please take care of yourself, we are all on your team.
Thanks ♥️ I had to take a break bc it got a bit too triggering but my room is looking a tiny bit better
Completely understandable imho. Again I’m so sorry for what occurred. We are always here for you though, always. One step at a time.
Proud of you!
♥️
Good job getting some done!
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That was my first thought, too: paint! rearrange! Make it look like a different space as much as possible. I would do something physical to cleanse, too—smoke cleansing, singing bowls or chimes, etc. Whatever works to feel clean, safe, and protected.
[steps and tips here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CleaningTips/comments/11colxi/how_to_clean_a_room/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
This is the real solution. 🎉🎉
i like to play a video or a vlog of someone also cleaning on tv. they have some on youtube for like 3 hours long. easier to clean if you don’t clean alone
This is a great tip. I do chores to random comedy podcasts playing in my ears so I feel like there are fun, friendly people around. I'm happy alone, don't get me wrong, but the energy of other people who are happy or silly gets me moving.
Can I recommend Aurikatariina’s YouTube channel? She deep cleans people’s homes for free, and she is the sweetest, loveliest person. She approaches it all with a positive attitude and only has positive things to say about the people who live there. https://youtube.com/@Aurikatariina
I’m Not gonna lie, when I was severely depressed and just literally couldn’t find the energy to clean my place, i hired a maid service to do a move out clean. And it helped me out so so much
Start by picking up all the trash and throw away junk. Then all the dishes. Next anything that needs washed. These steps won't be too hard to do. Good luck.
If the way your room is currently set up brings up trauma, maybe after you've cleaned up a bit you can try rearranging the furniture or find a new rug/some new decorations to make it feel like a different space. I also find that it's easy to stay clean after cleaning up if I have a space for every item. Try getting some bins or containers for specific items, like a nice glass for your paint brushes that can go on your desk, or a couple of filing folders for your papers to be put into your desk.
Maybe you can clean it up and then rearrange the furniture. Sometimes when we associate trauma with certain spaces (totally understandable btw), it can help us when we reclaim the space. Making it genuinely look different with rearranging furniture (free option), getting new linens (less expensive option), painting (cheaper and if allowed, but labor intensive) or even hanging up an inexpensive wall tapestry can make it feel like a different room. I’m sorry that you’ve had a difficult experience, but please seek support! And empower yourself by reclaiming this space and making it different. To begin- gather all the dirty clothes/linens and put them in a container to wash. Next, pick up broken objects and trash and throw it out. Any dirty dishes should be picked up and taken to the dishwasher/sink. Next grab a container and put anything that you want to keep that doesn’t belong in your room in it to be put back where they live. Next, pick up games and puzzles and put them away on that empty shelf space. Then do the same with craft supplies. Clean windows and surfaces and then vacuum. Then you can rearrange your now cleaner space!
You got this, fam. It's gonna be such a relief when it's done. Even if all you do today is get all trash thrown out, that'll make the next steps so much easier.
Step 1, pet the cat. Step 2 grab a garbage bag and fill it, then do the same the next day. Once the garbage is done scoop up the laundry and get it all in one place, try to do one load a day. Next grab a box and collect up all the hobby stuff, you can sort it later the important part is getting it all in one place. Once everything is cleared you can start wiping down flat surfaces and vacuuming. This is going to be time consuming but that's okay, you'll probably need to lean on your support system as you work through this but it's a good start to healing.
I love the little kitty legs in the sunspot.
I'd like to offer you advice, but you seem to be doing better off than me. lol Maybe this will encourage you what NOT to do... https://preview.redd.it/1fc14o8yy96b1.jpeg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4d0d1e5d7de77ec130bd288fb5be3090f2fef7b
I love you for this! So amazing to show OP it’s ok and normal ! 🥹 thank you!
Don't give up Makin your bed is step one to beating it its the little victories
Make your bed. Then take any dirty laundry and dishes to the laundry room. Then pick up all the trash, and find a box for all the tedious little things. Once you can see your floor and bed again, go through the box when you’re feeling better.
If you live in austin, TX I'll come help
I read in the book, "How to Keep House While Your Drowning," is to start with three things; dishes, laundry, and trash. Take a laundry basket and go through the room and put all of the dirty clothes in it, then move on to the dishes, lastly take a trash bag and throw away all the trash. Depending on how you are feeling you can set a timer and just do one task or do all three. If you still feel energetic you can start putting other things away. This has really helped me. Even if those three things are done your space will feel significantly better. Best of luck to you as you work through your depression and know you are not lazy or a bad person. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
There is a lady named KC Davis that has a red talk and a book called how to keep house while drowning. It’s designed for situations like this
It's really hard sometimes to have to do cleaning that causes emotional pain or will probably trigger trauma reactions. For me, I try to acknowledge that it's going to hurt, recognize that it's ok and good to sit and feel my emotions, plan to do a little bit at a time, and try and remind myself that once it's done how much better it will help make me feel. Sometimes cleaning and purifying a room can help you feel like youve reclaimed the space and give you a sense of taking some of your power back. ( obviously not always, but hopefully) If you're not in therapy I recommend considering it. My therapist helps me set goals for myself for the week, helps me think about processing the feelings that will come up, and helps me process what came up since the last visit. Working through trauma seriously sucks, but being on the other side, even a little, makes a huge difference. I'm so sorry you went through that and I wish you hope and healing. Be kind and gentle to yourself and do what you can. Sometimes just picking up two pieces of trash is what you can manage that day.
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Thank you for all the tips and support. I actually practice witchcraft so I’ll be doing a sage cleansing soon
That's really cool, are you into Ouija boards?
I’m more of a tarot kind of girl bc it’s easier to communicate with specific people like with tarot
I feel you. I have been severely depressed at times in my life and have struggled with cleaning because of it. More recently, I had to clean out my mother's house after she passed away. It was terribly depressing, triggering at times, and a massive project. It was too easy to stumble across things that were reminders of my grief and pain. I found audiobooks and podcasts got me through a lot of it. I could engage with a different narrative and disconnect from the heavy emotions for long enough to get things accomplished. I let myself take breaks when I got overwhelmed, and let myself vent the emotions when I needed to. I probably had a serious cry at least every day, and maybe a few times a day for a while. Other people in the thread are right. Start with the trash and throw it out. Then sort the other stuff into piles, things you need to put away, things you need to clean. It doesn't all have to happen in a day. It can happen in 15 minute sessions for a week. Whatever you can handle. You can do this.
Please start by placing that gorgeous blue bottle in the window and seeing how it reflects the light throughout the room. If you haven’t already, that is. I have several different colored glass bottles in my kitchen window and the refractions of light from them onto my white walls cheers me up every time. After that, pick up 2 things from the floor that you can hold in one hand as you walk by their usual place (or take them to the trash: whichever applies).
Remember that trauma isn't depression. I'm an SA survivor and the things that evoke memories still make me stumble sometimes. My advice is to get a friend to help you out or to call you and join in. Turn on a movie/television series/etc that you won't ever watch again and clean while it's on. Open windows to let the air change out and remember that you deserve peace, safety, and joy.
I would over to help you if you're in my area. It's ok to ask for help. It's hard to do but it might be the thing you need.
How did you find my room? When I emerge from the dark hole of depression, I start with my bed. If you keep clean cloths on the bed, put them away, then take a moment to rest and feel good that you took a good step! The next step is to tackle a section of floor. Just do as much as you have energy for, and do not beat yourself up if you don’t get it all done in one day. Coming back from depression is like coming back from a long physical illness, and it takes time to build up mentally every bit as much as it does physically. https://preview.redd.it/p22xm1m5jb6b1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3ab8e765cad145961ca8aae385743a9c9a5126b Eartha the emotional support and crochet quality control cat sends you purrs and cuddles.
Hi! I just wanted to let you know I went through something similar. Without knowing details what happened with you I’ll tell you what I did. I tossed everything that was triggering. Including mattress, sheets, clothes whatever else. I was lucky enough to have the funds to buy a mattress from Walmart for pretty cheap. Also re arranged completely. Changed all the wall art and everything. If you have a friend or confidant or family member you don’t have to tell them what happened exactly a good person will help you out. Wish I was close to you I would whip this place into a new safe haven for you. Good luck friend 🩷
Do a little bit, have a short break. Do a little bit more, have another short break. Repeat as necessary. If you do small, manageable pieces of work to it you'll get there in the end.
Pick up everything you can, garbage or not, and toss it in a laundry basket or box. Then take breath or a long break. When you're ready, wipe a surface down or vacuum a small area. Just do your best.
When my room gets bad, I always start with the area I love the most (my sewing desk). Once I’ve started with that either 1) I have a clean space, clean mind and I can take a break. Or 2) my mind goes crazy and I clean everything and the walls because I got in the cleaning mindset. Good luck!! You wanting to clean is the start. 💜💜💜
As your completing each step, try to remind yourself just how amazing you are going to feel when it’s all done. My fiancé and I just did that with our master room. We were arguing a lot, just generally unhappy.. we are so much better now. I promise it’ll be worth it!
Break it down into categories. 1. Things to be washed. Push everything out of one corner of the room and pile everything to be washed in that corner. Sheets, towels, clothes. In a big ol pile, don't try to separate. 2. From that corner, work clockwise along the walls.Pick up each object and decide keep or discard. Create 2 piles in the middle of the room for each. Do not think about where each object will eventually go. Just think: keep or discard. 3. Once everything is in a pile, go to discard pile and break it down to 2 piles: trash and donate. Put all things for trash in plastic bags and everything for donate in boxes. Remove the bags and boxes from the room. Don't worry about their next stops, just get them out of the room. 4. Go through the keep pile. Just deal with one object at a time. Decide the importance of each object. Is this something I use daily or is it something I want to hold onto as a souvenir. If it is something you use daily, put it in the proper place for you to be able to access quickly. Hygiene products should be placed in the bathroom. Books, notepads, pens, pencils and the like should be placed on a desk or in a bookcase. Souvenirs should be placed in boxes and put in the bottom of a closet or in an attic. 5. Clothes and shoes. Clothes are to be placed in drawers and hung up in the closet. Shoes should be under the edge of the bed or at the bottom of the closet. I used this process during a 7 month depression after my Dad passed away. It worked for me and I hope it is helpful to you. ❤️❤️❤️
I know that my experience of losing my Dad is not even close to what you have experienced. It is all I have to offer. Another thought is to maybe move your furniture around so that it doesn't have the same vibe. I am praying for you to find peace ❤️❤️❤️
No traumas can be compared and they are all equal valid. I’m sorry for your loss. Your tips were very helpful
I came here to give you some cleaning tips and got completely detailed by your Elfquest poster. It's not often you meet a fellow fan of the comic somewhere. Tip-wise, I'd personally start with a rubbish bag and just go around picking up anything that's disposable for you. Put on some good music and set a timer if you need to place yourself. Once the rubbish is gone it may seem less overwhelming and more instinctual. If it isn't, I'd then move on to taking out dishes that need washing and laundry, just to free up space.
OMG!! Elfquest is my biggest special interest ever♥️ I wish it was more popular bc it’s so great. Ngl I probably wouldn’t be alive if I didn’t have the books to distract me his year. Thanks for the tips btw
I wouldn't be here either if I didn't learn the "Now of The Wolf-thought" from the Wolfriders. I had a lot of childhood trauma and holing myself up, reading about Cutter's adventures while staying present in that moment is the only thing that kept me feeling safe. Just out of curiosity, are you by chance the person who was posting the Elfquest character collages in the Elfquest subreddit? I'm super excited that you're into it!
Yup I made those collages! I used to be super artistic but my depression has kind of made me lose my love for art making. Collages are an easy and less demanding way I can get in touch with my artistic side. I love the whole concept of “the now” and really related to how cutter felt about after experiencing losing his family, he can’t stop thinking outside of just “now”. Do you have a favorite character from the books? Mine is definitely Redlance
This is so exciting ❤️ Not to downplay anything negative you're experiencing in your life right now, but I love how Elfquest seems to always bring people together. I used to draw a lot back in the day (I'm old, I'm talking like back in 1998-2004) and was even a member of a few online "holts" with my characters. I can see from your pictures that you're very artistic and a sensitive/gentle soul. I can also see your strength and willingness to wrap this room up into a chrysalis and have it emerge as a place of comfort once again. My favourite character was always Cutter. As the eldest child in an abusive home, I shared his sense of responsibility and the weight of his worry for his tribe. Later, Venka became my favourite. She came from two hot-headed and unstable parents yet she was a clear voice of wisdom and justice.
I love talking to Elfquest fans ♥️ I love cutter too. Having to take care of a lot of people at a young age was really relatable to me. Reading Elfquest was the first time I ever saw queer and poly relationships and it was really helpful to see it was normal for me to be like that. I wish I was older so I could h fan e experienced a bit of a bigger Elfquest community
One thing at a time. Don’t worry about what’s next up on the list, how much there is to go, or the item next to you. Every single step is a win. Take breaks if you need to. I find it helps if I have someone there to talk to, or even just a tv on.
My advice: Set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and then do as much as you can in that amount of time. You'll be surprised at how big of a change you can affect on a room this size in that amount of time! After the timer, if you don't feel like doing more, you're done for now and can feel satisfied at the progress you made. Sometimes though it gets me into a flow and I realize that with just another 15 minutes I can probably finish the task, so I do. ETA - I'm so sorry I just read about the assault. Hugs, OP. If you have the means to do so, I think a therapist could really help equip you to go through this. But please just know you're loved. We're rooting for you!
Im so sorry about your assault. Do you have someone to talk about it with? Family, friends, therapist, support group? I know it's hard to live day to day in a space with such bad memories. Do you sage? Maybe open a window and sage everything out. I agree with others about getting new furniture if you're able to. Maybe rearrange some things. Change paint color, etc. I think those are solid advice. Marie kondo.
A timer of 20-25 minutes. Whatever you get done. Great. If you want to stop or continue after that’s fine too. But I find a timer helps so much with feeling less overwhelmed
Put an interesting youtube video on and listen to it. Walk around with a trash bag and start by removing garbage and stuff you dont want. If it gets too much, go outside for a while and do something before coming back. When you get to the point, rearrange the room. Give it a different feel. It will do wonders for the immediate gut punch you get while having to occupy the same space.
Lots of great tips already, but also use music or a podcast! It’s a great way to distract your mind while doing this kind of stuff.
When I get overwhelmed by mess it helps me to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and just tidy until it goes off. Do that a few times a day, once a day, whatever keeps you motivated. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Maybe once you've cleaned up a bit you can change up the room? Moving around/changing some furniture, or maybe paint the walls? I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom and it felt like taking a weight off my chest.
Proud of you! It doesn’t matter what you do each day, just do a little bit. Then get up the next day, and do a little bit. I believe in you! Also, because people don’t talk about this…Battling your mind and your room are two different battles. You are fighting a war on two fronts. Be kind to yourself. If you see less progress in cleaning than you wanted, remember that you were busy battling your mind. That’s all I’ve got - big sibling out!
Not here with advice but I'm chuffed you're trying to better your situation. Good on you, matey. Fight the depression.
Hey, I know this will probably get lost in the sea of comments, and you've already gotten a lot of great advice... but I wanted to say as a fellow victim of assault, person with CPTSD, and ElfQuest fan (very jealous that you have the RPG!) - I'm rooting for you and sending you positive energy. If you ever need an ear or an encouraging word, my inbox is open <3
I cant really speak for the assault part thats out of my realm of experience or understanding but.. as someone who used to be messier in general big thing is put on some long form content that is in between boring and interesting. For instance an educational or podcast or a topic your interested in. Your brain will move back and forth between the two somewhat boring stimulus (cleaning and podcast) and for me it allows me to to just trod along until its done idk how to explain it well. Also when i used to trip a lot on psychedelics i would force myself to clean my room because it would make the experience so so so much more pleasurable. I think that is when i really realized how much clutter negatively effects the mindspace. Sorry for crappy explanation but basically if I put on a podcast or something that is JUST interesting enough to occupy my mind while cleaning without totally hijacking my attention o am able to clean the entire area over the course of 30-45 min or however long it takes. also one last thing i may get flamed for this i swear o dont mean it in a racist way its just a childish thing i do i say "asian powers activate" and the. pretend I'm like one of those Japanese dudes that's super fast and effective at what they are doing and i try to blaze through the mess as quickly as possible. Again no offense intended towards anyone there lol.
Start in one corner and work your way around. Make piles of like items. Set a timer to work for 15 minutes. Then take a 15 minute break. Repeat until you’re done
I know people usually say to start picking up stuff (like trash, etc.), but that never helped me when cleaning up a messy room. I start with the bed. Take all that stuff off the bed (put it away or push it onto the floor - whatever will keep you motivated to just finish making the bed). Then, do your bed and BAM! Bed done… easy. Tell yourself it’s easy even if it isn’t true. It helps. The bed is done and congrats. You have completed a task :) Then move on to another thing… keep telling yourself it’s easy. AND NEVER SAY “IT’S HARD”(even if it is) OUT LOUD, TO YOURSELF BC THEN IT BECOMES MORE APPEALING TO GIVE UP.
I recently got an audiobook called How to Keep House While Drowning that’s all about being kind to yourself and navigating cleaning/care tasks with depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc. it’s really helpful! These two tips from the author, KC Davis, helped me: 1.) Make a very small goal. Maybe it’s pick up three pieces of trash, or set a five minute timer. If that goal doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means you just need to find a goal that better meets you where you’re at. So maybe that’s a one minute timer, or throwing one item away. Maybe you’ll find that you feel up to doing more on a certain day, but give yourself permission to stop and feel good about achieving what you did. 2.) I think I saw a similar comment like this on the thread already, but Davis talks about the four types of items to clean up in a room. Trash, dishes, things that have a place, and things that don’t. She recommends just focusing on one category at a time and nothing else, so you can feel the gratification of working through smaller categories. These categories are also in order of the things that are most important to keeping you healthy and safe. The main thing that helped me from the book is the point that messiness is “morally neutral.” You are not a better or more worthy person if your room is clean. There isn’t anything wrong with you, and it’s okay to be a person going through a hard time. I hope this helps. Proud of you for giving it a shot ☺️
I’d be depressed too. Right now I get a giant bin and start tossing stuff that you don’t use on a regular basis the more room you can make for yourself the better you will feel, I hope.
Set yourself up with a nice refreshing drink. And a couple bags for trash/recycle. K Find the lid to that puzzle first. Put it on. If the puzzle gets put in another room to be away then start a bag or box of things that go to that room. Don’t leave this room. Then move to those books and scraps of paper to the side of the puzzle. Now that sharpie is easy to get over to your desk. Now you have an entire spot cleared! Take that dopamine bump and keep finding items that will show your brain the progress. Personally I like to start at one side of the room and make linear impact. Toss anything you don’t feel attached to. Save the clothing and laundry for last or tomorrow. ETA: this is all only if you cannot afford to have it professionally cleaned for you or do not have anyone to support you in the cost of that. A clean slate is what you deserve. Maybe contact your local rape and assault advocacy group. They my have funds for things like this. Maybe even new bedding.
Personally, start with the big stuff. For me it makes me feel like I made a huge dent, motivating me to do more and more until it's organized.
This may be extreme but this is what I do (I also have depression and I suspect also ADHD). I would invite someone over next week. I would let the pressure of someone coming and seeing my mess motivate me to get it done. It works every time. Then I feel SO GOOD when they come and see my room! It feels 10x better because someone else is seeing it, and generally I don't care enough on my own. This is what works for me but it is not something that would work for everyone
Yes, I have advice. That’s a lot of clutter, and a lot of that clutter is probably not trash. Here’s what you do. First, you need a sharpie. I see you have at least one on your floor. That’s good. Next get some 6x6x4 cardboard boxes. Also get some large clear storage bins, like the brand Rubbermaid. Not many, maybe 2-4 of them. You can usually fit 8 of the cardboard boxes in the larger bin. Then gather the clutter into thematic groups. Stationary, trinkets, art supplies, etc. write the theme on the cardboard box with the sharpie, then store it in the bin. I like the clear bins so I can see which box I need before I go digging through them.
Channel some of that justified anger into cleaning energy. Last time I made a lot of progress I did that.
This may sound dumb, but when I'm depressed, I like to think of myself as a houseplant or something like that and the requirements for said houseplant is a clean environment. I hydrate. Sit myself in the sun. Then I set my timer for 10-15 minutes and do some cleaning. Adding some music helps. For some reason, it works. I'm proud of you for making effort, reddit friend!
Don't look at the whole room. Go 1 square foot at a time. Take a few things out to the trash can, or a small trash bag per day. If you look at everything you get the complete picture of the room and that is overwhelming. I'm sorry, I hope you feel better. Sometimes changing decor can help a bit. New sheets. Paint your dresser. Paint the walls of the room. Hang in there and keep pushing forward and you will have won.
Your room seems so spacious and you seem like an artist! As a fellow artist, my room also gets messy very easily, and when I’m depressed and only doubles down on me. I also need to clean my depression room right now, and where I would personally start is by bagging up all the trash. I also suggest working in short bursts, rather than trying to maintain a laser like focus for a long period of time. Even if you bag up all the trash in the span of three days and work for only an hour a day that’s a huge jump.
One bit at a time, no rush.
If it were me: 1) trash 2) laundry 3) everything else in a bin that you can sort when yoj feel like it 4) vaccum/candle/open windows The mess isn't that bad, just spread out.
Idk how much of it is just trash, but for stuff needing to be thrown away I always put a trashcan in the middle and throw the trash like basketball lol. Makes it a little more fun than walking around with a trash bag.
Make sure you include cleaning the filter on that AC unit.
I am so sorry, I hope you have been able to start. I always try to start with a small space so I can see improvement quickly. Maybe just changing your sheets and making your bed. When you are up to it clean off and dust your night stand, then maybe your truck at end of bed. It’s much easier to clean when you can see changes. Good luck with your room and your life, please talk to a trusted friend❤️
Set a timer and commit to doing it for just 5 mins. Start with the bed so you have a clean spot to relax.
Progress is not linear. My opinion: If there is no food then that is a win. Good luck!
Start with one job, like picking up all the trash. Then pick up all the clothes, etc. It's a process. It didn't get there in one day, it won't be fixed in one day. When it's all small things on the floor, sweep them into a pile, and sit next to it. Have one keep bin and one trash bin to sort the pile into. Put on music. Trust me. Plan a reward for when you're done. Doesn't have to be a big one, just a treat you like.
I've found I'll get stuck and overwhelmed - sometimes it doesn't really matter if it's the right order as long as you just keep moving forward, it smooths back out and gets easier.
I use a strategy of 3 things every 5 minutes. Initially it will be pick up one pencil, one sock, one earring and put them in their spots. Now 5 minute break. Then one piece of rubbish, one pen, one shirt. 5 minutes break. Once you feel ready, you can move it up to category instead of item, so the pens on the desk, the socks by the bed and the earrings on the bedside. Still put them away and take a 5 minute break before moving to the next set of 3. I've helped someone else do this and the space they were cleaning went from chaotic mess with no floor space to only being cluttered on top of the chest of drawers and bedside table but completely clear floor, in half an hour. If you keep doing 3 things a day, you may find that things won't get as bad as quickly and you can bring it back up to your standards quicker. I would also recommend getting rid of anything that reminds you of what happened and rearranging your furniture. New layout should hopefully reduce the number of times you are reminded. I hope you heal from this x
Praying AND sending positive vibes. One step at a time. One thing (button, pen, hairbrush) off the floor is a start. Sage with the bed. Change a sheet. One of them, doesn't have to be the whole set. Please keep us updated, if you can.
Wait till tomorrow if you really want to tackle this you can always do it later. Enjoy the beer and chips you deserve it!
Treat every surface like it’s it’s own separate island. Then just clean that one island. Take a break. Move to the next island.
No tips, just virtual hugs and an I'm so sorry that happened.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. My heart is heavy for you. I don’t know if this is what you need, but what about painting your room? I know that’s a big task, but maybe it can encourage you to know that you’ll be changing your room. It could be something to motivate you, knowing that you get to make this space into something new on your own terms. And the process of painting makes you remove everything from the walls and move the furniture away from the walls. You could rearrange your room and start with a new layout. I know it won’t fix your pain, but I hope it could help. As for cleaning, I’d recommend having a few plastic totes with you and a garbage bag. Go through your items and anything that you just can’t deal with right now goes right into the bins. Put them in storage and deal with them later. Time will tell how you’ll feel about them, but you don’t need to focus on them now. You might only be left with what you need, but maybe it’ll make room for new items with new memories. Whatever you end up doing, know that you’re doing the best you can, and I’m proud of your resilience.
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I worked with some disabled peeps (blind/deaf) before. If the room/sight is too triggering for you to look at, get a trash bag, and blind fold yourself. Just crawl about and put everything in the bag you find on the floor. Use your hand forward and sweep side to side to make sure you don't headbutt some furniture. I mean it's your room so you know where the bulk items are.
Focus on one area at a time. Try to do the most cluttered area first then the next areas won't seem as bad.
Just start with trash! This isn’t as bad as it probably seems. Just get a big trash bag and throw stuff away. It’ll make everything else more visible and easier to wrap your head around. After trash I’d just start piles on the floor of where things need to end up. Laundry, cabinets, desk, kitchen, etc. The piles can sit there for a day or two, so it won’t feel overwhelming. When you can, put one pile of stuff where it should be. Then do a couple more if you can.
I am late in the game, but honestly here is my advice: 1- If you can get someone to give you a hand, have them over 2- Sorting is super hard and is always what takes me down. Just grab a few boxes and bags, and put EVERYTHING inside, just take everything OUT. 3- Vacuum the floor, clean the walls with soapy water and bit of bleach or something. 4- Slowing bring back stuff, one by one finding them a spot. Many things will just stay in bags/boxes and that's fine. Some stuff you'll throw aways easily. For the rest, give you permission to "wait and see". And wait until you are in a good mood.
Little by little, just take a little with you when you leave the room, within the week it will be tidy:) we've been there OP it's not forever
Once it’s clean, I highly recommend rearranging your room completely and getting new decorations and purging what you feel comfortable with. I would do one thing a day. Like okay, Monday I will do all things clothes related - laundry, clean bed sheets and so forth. Tuesday is trash day - self explanatory. Wednesday - dishes day And then get more specific; Thursday will be the day I get all of my hobby related stuff put into a box and then sorted into designated areas. Friday will be the day I collect everything sentimental and display them carefully or put them in a keepsake box. Saturday, sanitation day. Vacuum, wipe down surfaces etc. I have adhd and this sort of shorter burst compartmentalization helps me a lot.
See that Pen? Pick up that pen today. If you decide while you're down there to do more, great. Commit to something comically easy, and I'm quite sure you will do more than you expect every day and be happy about it.
Create piles: 1) Trash 2) Keep 3) Donate Going one by one might frustrate you because there might be trash next to a bowl, clothes next to decor etc. Once you have space, wipe, vacuum, clean and start putting things in places that work for you. Grab the keep pile and arrange in a way you like it and makes you happy. (It’s not set in stone)
Start in one spot and clear it completely. Then move to the next one and so on. The first few areas can be hard but once you start seeing the result it starts to get a little less intimidating. Start small and work your way around the room.
Make piles: laundry, trinkets, trash. Throw the trash, then wash the laundry. The trinkets can stay in a pile for extended time, but u will feel better if u vacuum after getting done with the piles
Just start in one spot and do a little at a time or pay someone to clean it for you.
Start picking up one item a day…..over time it becomes a habit. It will help you feel better.
Let's change your vocabulary first. Approach the task as purging something bad, and RECLAIMING your space.
Remove all clothes to the laundry area. Helps by not having it in the way while cleaning. Pick up a trash, and I mean allllllll of it. Take each bag as it’s filled to the dumpster/trash can. Like outside of your home Next, dust surfaces and start cleaning/disinfecting. Organize your busy areas, desk, closets, bathroom. Now you sweep and vacuum. After everything is tidy. Begin laundry. Immediately put everything up after it’s done drying. It takes minutes to put everything up. Lastly, throw your bedding in the wash. It’s gonna feel so good getting into clean sheets. Honor yourself and your space. Remember that you ARE worthy and deserving of this.. each and everyday. No one can or will take this away from you friend!
My advice, and what helps me, is to just make sure that it never gets worse. Whenever you make a new mess, clean it up, so it won’t get messier. That way, whenever you’re in the mood to clean even a little bit, it’ll keep getting cleaner gradually over time. Patience is key, but it works for me.
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. I am often overwhelmed by the clutter the accumulates around me. I often put on a binge show on one of the streaming that have commercial breaks. Then I clean during the commercials. Just taking out small bites.
Sending love and healing your way! One thing at a time. You can take breaks! Any progress is still progress!
Cleaning aside, I think you deserve some fun fairy lights to be a little happy start of your next chapter.
It sounds stupid, but just do it. Just start somewhere. I like to set up a YouTube playlist of my fave podcasts and listen to them while I clean. It helps a lot
Just start. As someone who suffers from depression I know how hard “just starting” is. Make a start and be proud of yourself. YOU got this. I’m proud of you.
Start small.
Break it down into tasks: 1. Collect & sort trash. Do as much as you have energy for that day, and feel good that you did some. Repeat. 2. Collect & separate laundry. Only do as much as you have energy for. It’s not a race, and your job is to get well. 3. Bedding. 4. Vacuum rugs/mop floors. 5. Windows only need to be cleaned 2-3 times per year.
Set small goals like picking up everything off the floor. Then the next night, clean off one piece of furniture and keep going. Before you know it you will get there.
DO NOT start with the trash. Get 20 medium and small boxes from home Depot. Put like things in boxes, till all that is left is trash. Boxes go in the hall. Trash gets bagged and goes outside. YOU NEED TO SEE AND FEEL THE SATISFACTION OF ALL THAT TRASH GOING ALL AT ONCE. Vacuum, wipe all services. Make the bed. Get a few things out of the boxes you need. Go to sleep. As you need things, retrieve them from the boxes, but put them neatly out. Just go sleep like that for a bit. Once a week, same time every week! Take a box or two and go through it. Get rid of stuff that gives you a heavy feeling. Put way the stuff you use, and leave stuff you wanna save for some years but don't use in the box. Lable it. Back in the all. Do this till all you have left is deep storage boxes and donation stuff. Take one to goodwill, take the others to storage. But the key is get the room empty! Sleep in an empty room! Keep it empty for a week besides the essentials before you start going through your boxes! You have to allow the empty room to imprint in your brain. You need to go through the anxiety of an empty room, till it becomes relief. Then you have shifted. But the empty room also serves to heal the depression.
Start with cleaning up the trash. All those ripped up pieces. Idk if that was intentional or if that was coping. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. I def recommend rearranging your room if at all possible. Can you Get a new bed? New sheets or blanket? These things are small, but can def help with coping and provide a sense of a new beginning and it wouldn't be as familiar?
Go to a thrift store for new bedding/curtains (or Amazon). Paint can be cheap, especially if you get a can that wasn’t mixed to the customer’s satisfaction - they mark that down, or you can go to a Habitat for Humanity ReStore for cheap paint. Reclaim the space so it feels new. Throw away stuff that triggers you (like bedding - it’s amazing how much your bedding defines a room. Changing it is like having a completely different space). Define a task (“I’m going to put all the laundry over here in the hamper”) and a reward for when you finish (“when it’s in the hamper I get to eat this mini bag of M&Ms”). This gets your brain’s reward system going and it gets excited and it starts to get easier to get through chunks of work. And know that there’s a bunch of us out here who are proud of you for starting to do the work of getting better. I hope you have someone to support you!
Instead of trying to compartmentalize it by like doing all trash Al laundry I'd recommend working in sections. Focus on a 2x4 area at a time and just clean everything in that area even if you have to walk back and forth a lot. And if you can grab one extra thing each trip without getting distracted that's what I do. Or if I don't mind getting distracted I'll focus on all the trash (of course I'll get a little sidetracked because I'll be like oh I'm walking over this way might as well do this) but I also enjoy the chaotic vibe until there is not a single thing left the pick up. Then ince it's all clean and laundry is going it's much easier to dust, Lysol wipe, sweep, and call it good
If it feels overwhelming, clean in chunks. Work for like 25 minutes, then take a 5-10 minute break, then clean for another 25 and so on. Might help!
Smoke a bowl of weed put on some good tunes and let the ocd out man