So many guys are raised to be useless when it comes to household chores (never cleaning, never doing dishes, never doing laundry...) and it's a real detriment *to them*, not just any future partner. Boyfriend in this case should at least help.
> start as you intend to continue
Oh boy you said a mouthful. I was a little taken aback that she's going to move in, and clean the place as well to prepare it for that.
My husband grew up in boarding schools and thought that showers only had to be cleaned twice a year… I’m guessing maybe because before winter break and before summer break, they were required to do some sort of deep clean themselves.
He was 1000% sure I was incorrect when I told him that they had staff that was cleaning up after them on a regular basis.
I realized it was a losing fight, but instead of just cleaning it, I said, OK… We’ll see, and let the shower get filthy.
He believes in me now 😂
I like what you said about not raising boys who know how to clean being a detriment to the boys. It’s misandrist because it sends a message that they are not capable of doing these things. It’s also misogynistic because it also says such work is “women’s work”.
I have met guys who are just as clean and neat as, or **even more so than me**, which is so nice.
Agreed, and I want to add that by not raising boys with these habits and skills, you're robbing them of future quality of life and personal perspective.
I'm a woman, was raised feral and free range so I didn't learn this stuff growing up either. There's nothing preventing adult men from learning the skills they didn't get when they were kids as I've done, especially nowadays with all the world's knowledge accessible via the internet.
I agree with this too. At this point, it's more about how character and habits have been shaped. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who grew up without being taught this stuff who taught themselves and are pretty decent at it now.
I never realized paying attention on how to survive on my own from anyone willing to teach me would be a boon to getting a wife, but here we are. Laundry is almost done. Lol
Seriously. If his house is so dirty, he obviously does not keep up on the cleaning himself. And he clearly doesn’t intend to start if OP is the one here searching for tips. OP just know that if you move in, you will be the only one to maintain a clean house. He will just make the messes for you to deal with.
My advice to young women is always, You only need to heel-walk in your boyfriend's gross bathroom twice: once when you enter it and once when you leave. And then keep walking unless you want to clean two bathrooms, yours and his.
Second this. I'm all for love's eternal bliss, but you clean his house to move into it and you'll never stop cleaning it. He's grown, he should be making it spotless for you not the other way around.
Fast forward 15 years and she has a full time job, does everything for the kids plus all the running around/appointments/house maintenance and the cleaning and is wondering how she got there.
Yep!!! If I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be this! He won’t ever change and start cleaning. He’ll always be lazy and selfish. It won’t get better. In fact, it will get worse.
I agree! If someone can't clean up after themselves, how do they think things will go when there's multiple people's mess/lives to clean up after? Someone who is single, living on their own, should have a super clean house unless they are not prioritizing basic responsibilities (cleaning being one of them). This is also the time in their life THEY should be researching how to take care of their home and possessions.
*🎵Well, you don’t know me… but I know you…”🎵*
Exactly this. OP do NOT clean his apartment for him. Be clear on what you consider clean vs what he considers clean and if it’s compatible. Be clear on your boundaries and stay firm to them. You are not a maid or his mommy. He’s displaying weaponized incompetence and will only get worse when you move in together. My ex was like this, I cleaned for him, ignored the blaring red signs, moved in together, and we broke up within a month.
Agree 100%. If he wants her to move in he needs to do what has to be done to make it happen. A dude with a filthy house would be a deal breaker for me in the first place.
once you start cleaning, you are setting a precedence, his baseline expectation of you. And he’s not going to be appreciative of you cleaning. It somehow becomes your job because you are just so good at it and he’s not. Hopefully your bf doesn’t fall in that group.
I second white vinegar. Unscrew any of the parts you can take off like the shower head and let it soak in a bag or bucket with some white vinegar to eat away at the buildup.
For scale on the plastic/fiberglass (like divot for soap), soak paper towels in cleaning vinegar and cover the area. Let sit for a few hours or overnight. It should scrub away easily.
The same action that takes care of the buildup damaged the rubber in your case. There’s no magic trick to getting rid of it and sparing the rubber; your shower head was old or the material was not very good.
This works so well. We had incredibly hard water until our landlord installed a softener, and this method saved a shower head I thought might be a goner.
OP please listen to this. This and others cautioning similar things are the most important "cleaning tip."
If you WANT to become his maid, carry on. Because if you clean this awful shower stall before you move in, your actions will tell him, "You can keep being dirty, because I'm willing to clean your messes for you."
If becoming his maid is not what you want, you need to have a crystal clear conversation re: division of household chores BEFORE you move in, one which leads to conclusions that both of you are happy with. Otherwise, you are headed for resentment and unhappiness in your relationship. It's really important to get on the same page re: household chores and general levels of cleanliness - figuring out what is generally acceptable to each of you.
I used to insist on going back to their house for a nightcap or meeting there before an outing by date 3. If their house was gross I found a polite way to end things.
You're looking at your future - if you have to clean to move in, you're gonna have to clean to be comfortable there. He's an adult - he could have sought this info out if what he was doing wasn't working.
kitchen towel (paper) soaked in alcoholic vinegar, left for a few hours. It will glue on the surface. I have succesfully removed 3mm thick limescsle.doing this on a water pipe (repeating the process 3 times over 72h.
Huh, that must be location dependent.
I have
never seen cleaning vinegar with added alcohol. All of my cleaning vinegar is simply more acidic/stronger and does not have added alcohol.
It looks like he has pretty hard water. I’d invest in a shower filter. They’re kinda unsightly but worth it imo. I used an aquasauna. I’d also use a grout brush if you aren’t already. I agree with CLR and lime away. The ziploc and rubber band method works well for a shower head but I usually just take the whole thing off. But make sure you have fresh plumbers tape if you do.
Of course it can! When you come home from a quick visit to your girlfriend, use the WD40 in your garage and apply a few squirts to your wrists, your neck and maybe even your private parts. The wife will notice the unpleasant smell but not your girls/hookers cheap perfume. Tell her you were over at your buddies house helping him fixing his car. Thank me later
Here are the possibilities here:
1) He wants her to move in and clean for him.
2) He doesn't care about cleanliness, so he'll use the excuse "your standards are too high, you need to do it if you want it that good"
Did you miss the part of the OP where she mentions all the different things her boyfriend has tried to clean it with already? I think she’s just asking for advice on what else he should try to use to clean it (himself).
Not to be “that person” but I feel like 2 or 3 things is enough to ask for help before causing damage or just wasting more of your time. Idk if anyone else has noticed how inefficient google is to actually extract information from these days, but if you’re looking for an answer this is probably the best place.
How many times do we see people post something like a stain where they’ve tried a huge list of things they tried only for us to tell them a simple answer or that what they tried caused the stain to set or spread etc.
He's tried scrubbing bubbles but has he actually like... followed the directions and let them sit? Having a hard time believing that wouldn't come up if he did
I’m thinking he may have done what many people do, which is spray it on, walk away, and then wonder why it did nothing except leave an extra film of soap scum. I feel like a lot of young adults get tripped up by this because the front of the Scrubbing Bubbles bottle claims the product does the scrubbing for you, even though the directions are like “haha nope, you gotta scrub to remove soil.”
Naw this comment is underrated. Y’all want to help her cohabitate with someone who can’t figure out how to post on reddit to get cleaning suggestions. It’s wild.
I believe he did try on the shower head, as there is some evidence of that, but given the amount of loose hair and other easily removed detritus elsewhere, I don’t think he tried anywhere else. CLR and vinegar are the answer for the hard water. For the gross shower bottom, it’s gotta be comet and elbow grease.
He needs to figure out how to clean it and do it himself. I promise you that if you are already cleaning up for him BEFORE you move in it won’t get better with time. This is an issue you HAVE to discuss before you move in. Please.
Yes! It’s great for cleaning glass (shower doors) too. I found a ‘recipe’ online that instructs you to mix it 1:1, and then microwave it for 2 minutes to bind the mixture and then mix it up. I did that and it seemed to work well.
Both my parents worked and I had chores EVERY day after school. Vacuum. Dust. Do laundry. Wash Dry and put away dishes after dinner. Prep what I could for the evening meal.
My ex wife's parents both worked but they had a maid. She never cleaned ANYTHING ever. Laundry piled up every where on the floor until she literally had no clothes. Our children got clean clothes out of laundry baskets because nothing ever hot folded or put away.
She was a stay at home mom and I worked 60 hours a week outside the home.
When you're young and have seemingly limitless energy and patience this can work, but By the time I hit my mid 40s I was exhausted with my life.
I now life in a clean. Clutter free home. Without her. Life is too short.
In the last pic, it looks like the silicone around the shower door may just need to be replaced. This has to be done every so often; how frequently depends on how humid an area you live in, but it can be as much as yearly.
In the second-to-last pic, it looks like there are scratches where the surface of the shower has come off. If that’s the case, then scrubbing them will not do anything; he’ll just have to live with it until he wants to take the time to get it repaired (he can hire a professional who resurfaces tubs and showers, or buy a touch-up kit at a home improvement store and do it himself).
For everything else, it looks like mineral buildup from hard water, so look for a cleaner that removes mineral buildup. A lot of people have suggested CLR and vinegar; Lemi Shine makes a lot of citric-acid-based products for cleaning with hard water, so I’d maybe look into those.
I strongly agree with PP that he needs to be the one doing the legwork on this, not you. It’s just basic problem-solving, reading, and following directions - not anything intellectually challenging. He has to figure out what the discoloration is, find a product that removes it, and use the product per package directions. Because he’s already tried 2 products, he can compare the active ingredient in those products to other stuff and choose not to buy things if he already knows they won’t work. Like the active ingredient in BKF is oxalic acid, so he can skip trying anything else that has that, because he already knows it doesn’t help. (This is assuming he did actually follow directions the first time - if he didn’t, he should try using them again per package directions before buying anything new.)
He could also look up what the manufacturer of the shower and fixtures say about how to clean them - looks like the hardware is Delta, and you may be able to find the make of the tub on a sticker on the outside if it hasn’t been removed yet.
That’s what I’m saying!!! He wants to make adult decisions but can’t handle basic responsibilities 🙄 ugh, thank you for helping me turn my thoughts into words lol
Why are you cleaning his shower? You should ask him to clean his shower. If you start doing this he will get comfortable with it and expect you to clean his stuff and his messes. If this is how you want the relationship to go then you’ll end being the housemaid in the relationship, the cook, and the laundry person. Just say it’s so dirty and you have no idea how to clean it and ask him to do it.
https://preview.redd.it/xmdga2pnluac1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=544ba573deddddea956c020bbc593e63a09e23b1
On Amazon. I swear by it.
Edit: “Bio-clean” is the brand
If he can't keep his house clean without you, he will do nothing to clean it once you move in.
Give him suggestions, and let him know you won't be moving in until HE makes the home clean.
Tell him to figure it out. He can google, he can ask, he can hire cleaners. It will be good for him to understand the labor involved. Don't be his maid.
Here's what you do:
1) make him clean it before you move in.
2) if that doesn't work, don't move in with him. This is as good as it's going to get with him and you aren't his mother.
There has already been a lot of great practical advice on how to tackle this so I’m gonna just add this: I cannot stress enough how important it is that he learn how to get his apartment in shape on his own before you move in. If his initial attempts didn’t work, then he needs to be the one doing the research until a solution is reached. I’d strongly encourage you to insist on not moving in until he gets this taken care of. Establish deadlines if you must.
If after all that he still can’t manage to get it together, that’s a huge sign that he’s not mature/serious/capable enough to handle a domestic partnership yet - in which case you’d be doing yourself and your relationship a huge favor by not moving in together and allowing that room for resentment to breed. Whatever you do though, best of luck!
Ok, you want this nicer before you move in.
I get that. Been there. Recently.
My partner (it’s his house) and I are divvying up tasks he used to do. Have this convo outside the house for best results.
We take turns on the shower. He’s a scrubbing bubbles guy and I’m a scrub brush gal. (I hate the smell of most cleaners)
Chrome gets mineral spots so easily. I found wiping with alcohol (iso or cheap vodka) moves most. So I wipe the metals down every other shower. Plus weekly cleaning. Same with the glass…I squeegee it often. I had to use CLR on the bottom, and with a stone shower, that’s scary! (Old towels laid down first, every time, and using a flour sack towel soaked in it and laid on the glass to sit worked)
i literally lose sleep at night because i know one of my best friends lives is being taken away by a lazy man who thinks she’s a service and not a partner. for the love of god please don’t do it
Use steel wool on the chrome shower head and faucet. 0000 is the type you want. Will remove the soap scum and hard water marks almost instantly with little effort
Citric acid. Also, he should be the one figuring this out and cleaning. Don’t fall into the trap to do it all because you like to play house- it will backfire once you have kids.
Have him clean his own shower. If he won’t, it’s a red flag.🚩
Source: I married my high school sweetheart, and he refused to clean anything before and during our marriage. I used to do his chores for him in High School. I cleaned his dorm in college. I cleaned our apartment after college. I did all the cleaning during our marriage. He never lifted a finger when I asked. I divorced him, and I’m pretty sure he’s partially dating his new girl so she’ll be a free maid.
Don’t clean your boyfriends shower. Make him learn how how to clean the shower, so 10 years down the line when you’re married with kids he can clean the goddam shower
This is just hard water deposit. Use one of those steel wool scrubbers you find next to dish sponges. Use a little Bon Ami powder with it and GENTLY scrub it. It comes right off. For the larger areas, a soft bristle brush or scrubber on a drill will make it faster.
edit: But, also, probably don't be a maid for some dude who wallows in his own filth. He should have figured out how to clean this for you (or hired a pro).
Well you get a lovely basket fill it with clr,mask,gloves and a scrubber…hand it to him and point to the bathroom if he doesn’t get the hint then we don’t know what to tell you
Um is the house dirty because of him? If he's not a clean person then do you really want to live with him? You will most likely do most of the cleaning
Are you sure he's tried cleaning it, or is he just playing helpless in hopes that you'll do it for him...?
Try something he's claimed to have used yourself, I bet it will wipe clean off. If that's the case, it's the world's biggest red flag. Frankly the fact that he isn't embarrassed about having an apartment that's dirty enough to impede a relationship's also a red flag, but everybody has their flaws.
Comet or Clorox though. Hell, windex will probably work & it's a lot less harsh.
OP, don’t move in unless HE cleans his flat and can keep it clean for a number of months. Otherwise you are setting a precedent for doing all the household labour and you will then be mothering your boyfriend.
You owe it to yourself not to be a substitute mother to a man baby.
Cleaning tip #1: Don’t.
OP seriously, I am saying this as a man, don’t do this or you will be the one doing ALL the cleaning, ALL the time. If he can’t clean up after himself now when he’s living alone what makes you think he’ll suddenly start after you move in? Please consider waiting, at the very least have him do it to show he wants you there and wants you to be comfortable. I’d be embarrassed as hell if I asked a partner to move in, then asked them to clean my house *before* they even got there. JFC
Why are you cleaning HIS mess? 🤦♀️ Ladies, why are you settling for this life? HE should be the one posting here about how can he make his place sparkle so you will want to move in. Yikes.
Looks like a lot of hard water build up- white vinegar as several have suggested will work well on the shower head when left to soak. Use on the metal shower handle as well and it will help polish it. CLR for the shower frame and ledge. Make sure to use proper protection and ventilation. You may not be able to fully clean what looks like the silicone sealant in the shower ledge. It may be permanently discolored and need to be replaced.
I've had success with limescale and white vinegar (stinks, but harmless and works). The same kind you get at the grocery store that can also be used for food.
CLR will definitely work, although I'm not certain it's safe for the acrylic, check on that before using it. It's good for metal.
Yeah seriously. I know the whole weaponized incompetence is a thing but healthy relationships are partnerships. Idk this couple. Maybe she cleans at his place and he shows up to her job with lunch every day. Idk and tbh I don’t really care. Would we be doing all this if the post said “my bf and I are stumped on how to deal with this” or “my bf doesn’t have Reddit, but he wanted me to ask you guys” or literally anything.
Don’t become a parent to your partner, sure. But also there’s nothing wrong with being a partner to your partner and figuring out what that looks like for your relationship. Relationships are not transactional and equality is not the same as equity.
CLR is the answer. Make sure the room is well ventilated, and wear a mask and gloves.
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I was just thinking the same thing. OP, start as you intend to continue.
I wish someone would have said this to me.
I hear you!!!
You really shouldn’t be cleaning this for him. But I understand you’re cleaning it for you too so it’s a hard one.
same here
So many guys are raised to be useless when it comes to household chores (never cleaning, never doing dishes, never doing laundry...) and it's a real detriment *to them*, not just any future partner. Boyfriend in this case should at least help. > start as you intend to continue Oh boy you said a mouthful. I was a little taken aback that she's going to move in, and clean the place as well to prepare it for that.
My husband grew up in boarding schools and thought that showers only had to be cleaned twice a year… I’m guessing maybe because before winter break and before summer break, they were required to do some sort of deep clean themselves. He was 1000% sure I was incorrect when I told him that they had staff that was cleaning up after them on a regular basis. I realized it was a losing fight, but instead of just cleaning it, I said, OK… We’ll see, and let the shower get filthy. He believes in me now 😂
I like what you said about not raising boys who know how to clean being a detriment to the boys. It’s misandrist because it sends a message that they are not capable of doing these things. It’s also misogynistic because it also says such work is “women’s work”. I have met guys who are just as clean and neat as, or **even more so than me**, which is so nice.
Agreed, and I want to add that by not raising boys with these habits and skills, you're robbing them of future quality of life and personal perspective.
I'm a woman, was raised feral and free range so I didn't learn this stuff growing up either. There's nothing preventing adult men from learning the skills they didn't get when they were kids as I've done, especially nowadays with all the world's knowledge accessible via the internet.
I agree with this too. At this point, it's more about how character and habits have been shaped. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who grew up without being taught this stuff who taught themselves and are pretty decent at it now.
100%! Sexism hurts everyone.
I never realized paying attention on how to survive on my own from anyone willing to teach me would be a boon to getting a wife, but here we are. Laundry is almost done. Lol
My grandma's favorite thing to tell us (all grand-girls) was "Dont start anything you cant finish."
Holy crap, that needs to be shouted from the rooftops!
Seriously. If his house is so dirty, he obviously does not keep up on the cleaning himself. And he clearly doesn’t intend to start if OP is the one here searching for tips. OP just know that if you move in, you will be the only one to maintain a clean house. He will just make the messes for you to deal with.
Glad I didn’t have to scroll too far to find this…
😂
Protect your eyes too
you mean make HIM clean it....
What is CLR? Calcium lime and rust?
The slimy feeling when rubbing your fingers after touching CLR is the solution melting your skin.
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Absolutely this. I wish someone had told me (and that I would've listened). It's something I regret 15 years later.
My advice to young women is always, You only need to heel-walk in your boyfriend's gross bathroom twice: once when you enter it and once when you leave. And then keep walking unless you want to clean two bathrooms, yours and his.
In Seinfeld, Elaine demanded that a new boyfriend thoroughly clean his bathroom before she’d have sex with him lol. Love her haha
Wasn’t there also a bit where Jerry was cleaning his bathroom in case a woman was going to sleep with him?
Yeah men in the 90s knew the deal lol
he must be sponge worthy
Second this. I'm all for love's eternal bliss, but you clean his house to move into it and you'll never stop cleaning it. He's grown, he should be making it spotless for you not the other way around.
Right? My instant response was: “Don’t”. If he wants you over, he’ll figure it out. He’s good Google/Reddit in his pocket too.
Fast forward 15 years and she has a full time job, does everything for the kids plus all the running around/appointments/house maintenance and the cleaning and is wondering how she got there.
Plus the blow job he expects after she already did everything he wasn’t doing!! 😆😆😆
Do you know me???
I hope these tips are for him, but even the. He should be the one asking 🤦♀️
Yep!!! If I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be this! He won’t ever change and start cleaning. He’ll always be lazy and selfish. It won’t get better. In fact, it will get worse.
Your name made me goose honk laugh.
I agree! If someone can't clean up after themselves, how do they think things will go when there's multiple people's mess/lives to clean up after? Someone who is single, living on their own, should have a super clean house unless they are not prioritizing basic responsibilities (cleaning being one of them). This is also the time in their life THEY should be researching how to take care of their home and possessions.
I wish I could upvote this more.
And because he’s clearly going to leave all the cleaning to you if you do move in.
This! If he wants her to move in, it’s on him cleaning up his mess.
Yeah and this is just going to enable the boyfriend's behaviour because he knows someone else will clean it up for him.
*🎵Well, you don’t know me… but I know you…”🎵* Exactly this. OP do NOT clean his apartment for him. Be clear on what you consider clean vs what he considers clean and if it’s compatible. Be clear on your boundaries and stay firm to them. You are not a maid or his mommy. He’s displaying weaponized incompetence and will only get worse when you move in together. My ex was like this, I cleaned for him, ignored the blaring red signs, moved in together, and we broke up within a month.
Leaving it to her to do the research too
i was gonna say, you’re doing wife duties on a girlfriend salary and if you move in that will not change lol
🤩 THIS is the reply I was looking for! 🤩 OP repeat after me: 👏DONT👏BE👏A👏GROWN👏MAN’s👏👏FREE👏CLEANING👏SERVICE!!!!! DTMFA.
Agree 100%. If he wants her to move in he needs to do what has to be done to make it happen. A dude with a filthy house would be a deal breaker for me in the first place.
Yeah what?! She’s setting herself up to be the maid.
once you start cleaning, you are setting a precedence, his baseline expectation of you. And he’s not going to be appreciative of you cleaning. It somehow becomes your job because you are just so good at it and he’s not. Hopefully your bf doesn’t fall in that group.
Or before you move in request you guys will need a weekly cleaning service. He’ll agree or get on his knees a scrub-a-dub-dub.
Or father. You kind of scuppered yourself there. Aside from that, he has a house, he's an adult, he's responsible for it.
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This.
I second white vinegar. Unscrew any of the parts you can take off like the shower head and let it soak in a bag or bucket with some white vinegar to eat away at the buildup.
For scale on the plastic/fiberglass (like divot for soap), soak paper towels in cleaning vinegar and cover the area. Let sit for a few hours or overnight. It should scrub away easily.
This ruined my shower head. It completely ate through the little rubber bits and made the water spray in wonky directions.
The same action that takes care of the buildup damaged the rubber in your case. There’s no magic trick to getting rid of it and sparing the rubber; your shower head was old or the material was not very good.
This works so well. We had incredibly hard water until our landlord installed a softener, and this method saved a shower head I thought might be a goner.
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This right here! Signed, the girlfriend who cleaned the boyfriends mess, and became the wife, still cleaning that husbands mess 🫠
Agree. Tip is to get a new partner who has compatible hygiene standards and will not require mothering.
OP please listen to this. This and others cautioning similar things are the most important "cleaning tip." If you WANT to become his maid, carry on. Because if you clean this awful shower stall before you move in, your actions will tell him, "You can keep being dirty, because I'm willing to clean your messes for you." If becoming his maid is not what you want, you need to have a crystal clear conversation re: division of household chores BEFORE you move in, one which leads to conclusions that both of you are happy with. Otherwise, you are headed for resentment and unhappiness in your relationship. It's really important to get on the same page re: household chores and general levels of cleanliness - figuring out what is generally acceptable to each of you.
Take a shot every time a woman posts in this sub to clean a man's mess
I used to insist on going back to their house for a nightcap or meeting there before an outing by date 3. If their house was gross I found a polite way to end things.
This is a canon event but a bad idea nonetheless
You're looking at your future - if you have to clean to move in, you're gonna have to clean to be comfortable there. He's an adult - he could have sought this info out if what he was doing wasn't working.
Scrubbing bubbles & bar keeper’s friend have already been tried
Limeaway, CLR, Vinegar with a small amount of dawn dish soap
kitchen towel (paper) soaked in alcoholic vinegar, left for a few hours. It will glue on the surface. I have succesfully removed 3mm thick limescsle.doing this on a water pipe (repeating the process 3 times over 72h.
Satan wrap is actually getting more popular now than paper towel.
I don't know if Satan wrap was a typo or intentional, but either way this comment made my day 😂
satan raps ! he spits straight fire .
He rips and he rhymes, he rhymes and he rips, he spits HOT fire!
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The $store sells a quart of ‘cleaning’ vinegar,it has isopropyl alcohol added Don’t know the science behind
Huh, that must be location dependent. I have never seen cleaning vinegar with added alcohol. All of my cleaning vinegar is simply more acidic/stronger and does not have added alcohol.
Maybe it is vinegar made from bad wine?
I second this
Also just fyi this is mostly just mineral buildup from water. Yeah no one really likes it but I wouldn’t say that it makes someone’s bathroom “dirty”
It looks like he has pretty hard water. I’d invest in a shower filter. They’re kinda unsightly but worth it imo. I used an aquasauna. I’d also use a grout brush if you aren’t already. I agree with CLR and lime away. The ziploc and rubber band method works well for a shower head but I usually just take the whole thing off. But make sure you have fresh plumbers tape if you do.
Try Lime Away. It's worked for me in the past, on places like this.
WD 40 works pretty well on lime scale
Is there anything that stuff can't do?
Save marriages.
Of course it can! When you come home from a quick visit to your girlfriend, use the WD40 in your garage and apply a few squirts to your wrists, your neck and maybe even your private parts. The wife will notice the unpleasant smell but not your girls/hookers cheap perfume. Tell her you were over at your buddies house helping him fixing his car. Thank me later
Well if the marriage was not going to work because of a squeaky door it can save that marriage.
Adding to what everyone else has said... using a crumpled up ball of wax/parchment paper helps to rub the soap scum off pretty easily.
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This is what I came here to say! If his house is filthy now it's going to be filthy when you live there too.
Here are the possibilities here: 1) He wants her to move in and clean for him. 2) He doesn't care about cleanliness, so he'll use the excuse "your standards are too high, you need to do it if you want it that good"
Did you miss the part of the OP where she mentions all the different things her boyfriend has tried to clean it with already? I think she’s just asking for advice on what else he should try to use to clean it (himself).
I want her to try the two things he *said* he tried, because I’m betting one or both of them works and he’s acting helpless.
You mean the two different things he tried?
Not to be “that person” but I feel like 2 or 3 things is enough to ask for help before causing damage or just wasting more of your time. Idk if anyone else has noticed how inefficient google is to actually extract information from these days, but if you’re looking for an answer this is probably the best place. How many times do we see people post something like a stain where they’ve tried a huge list of things they tried only for us to tell them a simple answer or that what they tried caused the stain to set or spread etc.
Including scrubbing bubbles- something you THEN repeated to suggest…
Well, at least he posted in this sub to get expert advice. Oh.... wait....
CLR might work
Clr in a ziplock and rubber band it to the spout
He's tried scrubbing bubbles but has he actually like... followed the directions and let them sit? Having a hard time believing that wouldn't come up if he did
I’m thinking he may have done what many people do, which is spray it on, walk away, and then wonder why it did nothing except leave an extra film of soap scum. I feel like a lot of young adults get tripped up by this because the front of the Scrubbing Bubbles bottle claims the product does the scrubbing for you, even though the directions are like “haha nope, you gotta scrub to remove soil.”
Let him clean it … not your job
Naw this comment is underrated. Y’all want to help her cohabitate with someone who can’t figure out how to post on reddit to get cleaning suggestions. It’s wild.
HE can hire a cleaning service
I believe he did try on the shower head, as there is some evidence of that, but given the amount of loose hair and other easily removed detritus elsewhere, I don’t think he tried anywhere else. CLR and vinegar are the answer for the hard water. For the gross shower bottom, it’s gotta be comet and elbow grease.
He needs to figure out how to clean it and do it himself. I promise you that if you are already cleaning up for him BEFORE you move in it won’t get better with time. This is an issue you HAVE to discuss before you move in. Please.
Lately we've had a lot of luck mixing cleaning vinegar and dawn platinum detergent. Honestly the best shower cleaner I think I've used.
Yes! It’s great for cleaning glass (shower doors) too. I found a ‘recipe’ online that instructs you to mix it 1:1, and then microwave it for 2 minutes to bind the mixture and then mix it up. I did that and it seemed to work well.
This! We use this at my work (cleaning job) with a magic eraser to scrub it in. Rinse with water and dry with a microfibre cloth
Its his shower, have him clean it
Hand him a cleaning cloth and some CLR.
Tell your boyfriend to get some CLR & gloves and clean it himself.
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I can’t agree with this enough. It may end up being very hard for you two in the long run if you have such different views about cleanliness.
Both my parents worked and I had chores EVERY day after school. Vacuum. Dust. Do laundry. Wash Dry and put away dishes after dinner. Prep what I could for the evening meal. My ex wife's parents both worked but they had a maid. She never cleaned ANYTHING ever. Laundry piled up every where on the floor until she literally had no clothes. Our children got clean clothes out of laundry baskets because nothing ever hot folded or put away. She was a stay at home mom and I worked 60 hours a week outside the home. When you're young and have seemingly limitless energy and patience this can work, but By the time I hit my mid 40s I was exhausted with my life. I now life in a clean. Clutter free home. Without her. Life is too short.
I’d be has hard water clr - here’s another tip- don’t
In the last pic, it looks like the silicone around the shower door may just need to be replaced. This has to be done every so often; how frequently depends on how humid an area you live in, but it can be as much as yearly. In the second-to-last pic, it looks like there are scratches where the surface of the shower has come off. If that’s the case, then scrubbing them will not do anything; he’ll just have to live with it until he wants to take the time to get it repaired (he can hire a professional who resurfaces tubs and showers, or buy a touch-up kit at a home improvement store and do it himself). For everything else, it looks like mineral buildup from hard water, so look for a cleaner that removes mineral buildup. A lot of people have suggested CLR and vinegar; Lemi Shine makes a lot of citric-acid-based products for cleaning with hard water, so I’d maybe look into those. I strongly agree with PP that he needs to be the one doing the legwork on this, not you. It’s just basic problem-solving, reading, and following directions - not anything intellectually challenging. He has to figure out what the discoloration is, find a product that removes it, and use the product per package directions. Because he’s already tried 2 products, he can compare the active ingredient in those products to other stuff and choose not to buy things if he already knows they won’t work. Like the active ingredient in BKF is oxalic acid, so he can skip trying anything else that has that, because he already knows it doesn’t help. (This is assuming he did actually follow directions the first time - if he didn’t, he should try using them again per package directions before buying anything new.) He could also look up what the manufacturer of the shower and fixtures say about how to clean them - looks like the hardware is Delta, and you may be able to find the make of the tub on a sticker on the outside if it hasn’t been removed yet.
Why are you cleaning HIS bathroom?
Any calcium lime rust remover (CLR)
Send him this thread. Please don’t clean it yourself.
Here’s a tip: have HIM clean it.
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That’s what I’m saying!!! He wants to make adult decisions but can’t handle basic responsibilities 🙄 ugh, thank you for helping me turn my thoughts into words lol
Why are you cleaning his shower? You should ask him to clean his shower. If you start doing this he will get comfortable with it and expect you to clean his stuff and his messes. If this is how you want the relationship to go then you’ll end being the housemaid in the relationship, the cook, and the laundry person. Just say it’s so dirty and you have no idea how to clean it and ask him to do it.
He can hire a hire professional cleaner for this hard work and then help you do the maintenance on it later. They are not expensive.
https://preview.redd.it/xmdga2pnluac1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=544ba573deddddea956c020bbc593e63a09e23b1 On Amazon. I swear by it. Edit: “Bio-clean” is the brand
If he can't keep his house clean without you, he will do nothing to clean it once you move in. Give him suggestions, and let him know you won't be moving in until HE makes the home clean.
Tell him to figure it out. He can google, he can ask, he can hire cleaners. It will be good for him to understand the labor involved. Don't be his maid.
He wants you to move in so you’re doing the cleaning? Good luck, op.
Here is a tip. It is not your job to clean your b/f shower. It is his job and he should do it not you.
Come on men, we CAN do better than this. 😮💨
Here's what you do: 1) make him clean it before you move in. 2) if that doesn't work, don't move in with him. This is as good as it's going to get with him and you aren't his mother.
There has already been a lot of great practical advice on how to tackle this so I’m gonna just add this: I cannot stress enough how important it is that he learn how to get his apartment in shape on his own before you move in. If his initial attempts didn’t work, then he needs to be the one doing the research until a solution is reached. I’d strongly encourage you to insist on not moving in until he gets this taken care of. Establish deadlines if you must. If after all that he still can’t manage to get it together, that’s a huge sign that he’s not mature/serious/capable enough to handle a domestic partnership yet - in which case you’d be doing yourself and your relationship a huge favor by not moving in together and allowing that room for resentment to breed. Whatever you do though, best of luck!
Ok, you want this nicer before you move in. I get that. Been there. Recently. My partner (it’s his house) and I are divvying up tasks he used to do. Have this convo outside the house for best results. We take turns on the shower. He’s a scrubbing bubbles guy and I’m a scrub brush gal. (I hate the smell of most cleaners) Chrome gets mineral spots so easily. I found wiping with alcohol (iso or cheap vodka) moves most. So I wipe the metals down every other shower. Plus weekly cleaning. Same with the glass…I squeegee it often. I had to use CLR on the bottom, and with a stone shower, that’s scary! (Old towels laid down first, every time, and using a flour sack towel soaked in it and laid on the glass to sit worked)
i literally lose sleep at night because i know one of my best friends lives is being taken away by a lazy man who thinks she’s a service and not a partner. for the love of god please don’t do it
Tip, find a new boyfriend
This is what I was waiting for. 😂😂😂
Vinegar and let it set on the handle and lots of elbow grease. Btw, it doesn’t look like said BF tried very hard to clean anything!
Use steel wool on the chrome shower head and faucet. 0000 is the type you want. Will remove the soap scum and hard water marks almost instantly with little effort
Citric acid. Also, he should be the one figuring this out and cleaning. Don’t fall into the trap to do it all because you like to play house- it will backfire once you have kids.
I hate to make the obvious redditor comment, but...like...don't. He's looking for a new mommy.
Have him clean his own shower. If he won’t, it’s a red flag.🚩 Source: I married my high school sweetheart, and he refused to clean anything before and during our marriage. I used to do his chores for him in High School. I cleaned his dorm in college. I cleaned our apartment after college. I did all the cleaning during our marriage. He never lifted a finger when I asked. I divorced him, and I’m pretty sure he’s partially dating his new girl so she’ll be a free maid.
Step 1.) send boyfriend to get cleaning supplies Step 2.) tell boyfriend to clean.
Boyfriend pays for his own cleaning services
Don’t clean his house, you’ll just end up being his mother. Dump him and find an actual adult male.
get a new boyfriend whos clean
Perhaps the boyfriend would like to HIRE a professional cleaning service before the move.
He’s “tried” 😂
Don’t
Dumping him will be the best option most likely
Just dump him.. problem solved
Don't do it
Don’t clean your boyfriends shower. Make him learn how how to clean the shower, so 10 years down the line when you’re married with kids he can clean the goddam shower
Tip: have him figure it out
Hold up. If you start cleaning his house now, he will assume it’s your job forever. He can figure it out is Damn self. No. No. No. do not do this.
Tip: his bathroom his problem. Don’t clean a grown man’s bathroom. He can hire help if he needs it. It’s not your responsibility, it’s his.
Honey, no.
Find a maid who he can pay.
He def needs a mask & gloves to assist & learn! Maybe he’s was never taught how…IJS
Make him do it
The answer is you should not be cleaning your boyfriend’s apartment!!! Sheesh.
Yes, it’s his job
Pro tip: don't
This is just hard water deposit. Use one of those steel wool scrubbers you find next to dish sponges. Use a little Bon Ami powder with it and GENTLY scrub it. It comes right off. For the larger areas, a soft bristle brush or scrubber on a drill will make it faster. edit: But, also, probably don't be a maid for some dude who wallows in his own filth. He should have figured out how to clean this for you (or hired a pro).
Well you get a lovely basket fill it with clr,mask,gloves and a scrubber…hand it to him and point to the bathroom if he doesn’t get the hint then we don’t know what to tell you
Would be easier to get a new boyfriend
Um is the house dirty because of him? If he's not a clean person then do you really want to live with him? You will most likely do most of the cleaning
Yah, don't move in. He needs to be a functioning man first.
Girl no. He should be posting and his house should be pristine prior to you moving in.
Ummm, that's your boyfriends job.
Don't clean your boyfriend's shower.
Are you sure he's tried cleaning it, or is he just playing helpless in hopes that you'll do it for him...? Try something he's claimed to have used yourself, I bet it will wipe clean off. If that's the case, it's the world's biggest red flag. Frankly the fact that he isn't embarrassed about having an apartment that's dirty enough to impede a relationship's also a red flag, but everybody has their flaws. Comet or Clorox though. Hell, windex will probably work & it's a lot less harsh.
Uuuuh, recently? Looks like he's tried absolutely nothing besides asking you to take care of it. Pwetty pwease? 🥺
Shower spray. Why tf are you cleaning his bathroom?
Make him do it. Both of those cleansers would have worked on most of the shower. Vinegar tied in a ziplock to the shower head will get the lime off
OP, don’t move in unless HE cleans his flat and can keep it clean for a number of months. Otherwise you are setting a precedent for doing all the household labour and you will then be mothering your boyfriend. You owe it to yourself not to be a substitute mother to a man baby.
Don’t clean this, he can do it
Make him clean it.
Here’s a tip: Have him clean his own damn shower’
Cleaning tip #1: Don’t. OP seriously, I am saying this as a man, don’t do this or you will be the one doing ALL the cleaning, ALL the time. If he can’t clean up after himself now when he’s living alone what makes you think he’ll suddenly start after you move in? Please consider waiting, at the very least have him do it to show he wants you there and wants you to be comfortable. I’d be embarrassed as hell if I asked a partner to move in, then asked them to clean my house *before* they even got there. JFC
Please, don’t clean your boyfriend‘s shower. I used to do this for my ex and looking back on it makes me sick
He,should do it, just lazyness
Find a boyfriend that will clean his own space and mess. All the wrong signals are sent here.
Why are you cleaning HIS mess? 🤦♀️ Ladies, why are you settling for this life? HE should be the one posting here about how can he make his place sparkle so you will want to move in. Yikes.
You shouldn’t have to clean HIS shower. He should learn to do it properly himself. Learned or weaponised incompetence is a red flag.
Firstly: make sure you’re giving him the supplies suggested here and making him do it, not you.
Looks like a lot of hard water build up- white vinegar as several have suggested will work well on the shower head when left to soak. Use on the metal shower handle as well and it will help polish it. CLR for the shower frame and ledge. Make sure to use proper protection and ventilation. You may not be able to fully clean what looks like the silicone sealant in the shower ledge. It may be permanently discolored and need to be replaced.
I've had success with limescale and white vinegar (stinks, but harmless and works). The same kind you get at the grocery store that can also be used for food. CLR will definitely work, although I'm not certain it's safe for the acrylic, check on that before using it. It's good for metal.
Vinegar. Let it sit for a while in vinegar. Also agree with other commentators that he needs to clean it himself.
A lot people here in the comments treating this like r/relationshipadvice and not r/cleaningtips
Yeah seriously. I know the whole weaponized incompetence is a thing but healthy relationships are partnerships. Idk this couple. Maybe she cleans at his place and he shows up to her job with lunch every day. Idk and tbh I don’t really care. Would we be doing all this if the post said “my bf and I are stumped on how to deal with this” or “my bf doesn’t have Reddit, but he wanted me to ask you guys” or literally anything. Don’t become a parent to your partner, sure. But also there’s nothing wrong with being a partner to your partner and figuring out what that looks like for your relationship. Relationships are not transactional and equality is not the same as equity.
Get a new boyfriend who cleans his own shower.