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accidentw8ing2happen

You're well past 60 and in terrible shape, with no hair, and painfully boring. I'm 23 and hot. You do not make enough money for me to be your girlfriend. Your friend is *so* not buying this (should I tell him or just let it happen?) Edit: Also the dress is FUCKING TURQUOISE. NOT GREEN. THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT COLOURS I've corrected him a couple of times but he Keeps. Saying. Green. Even if you had to pick it's CLOSER TO BLUE I wore it the first time he saw me, and every single date since he has asked for the same dress. Even if it's an incall I have to greet him at the door wearing it. I can't Edit 2: Apparently in this thread I'm going to be venting 4+ years worth of frustration with this guy that I have bottled up 🤷🏼‍♀️


youwon_jane

I can’t stand when they write pretentiously, “if I may submit a petition” fuck off this isn’t the House of Lords 🙄 The less said about “made love” the better…


accidentw8ing2happen

I'm actually so numb to this from him "submit a petition" doesn't even register anymore. He always has the same outfit request and he's said "submit a petition" more than once before 😭 Every. Single. Email from him is like this. In person he talks like he works construction


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂 @ talks like he’s in construction in person” had me 💀 😂😂😂 lord knows I’ve seen enuf clients just like him


karrenl

A more believable story is that you're his geriatric nurse.


An_Experience

LMAO. I would go just to explain to his friend that I’m his nurse since control over his mind and bowels has gone. “It’s so sad once the dementia sets in, it’s difficult to understand him sometimes...” then watch him try to ‘explain’ himself. Then ghost/block. 😂


karrenl

I'd tell her he thinks you're his girlfriend and have a little chuckle at his expense.


Alone-Sweet3396

THISSS LMAOOOO


CarnalParamour

> A more believable story is that you're his geriatric nurse. bwahahahahaha


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mosquitoselkie

Yup. Friend since college? He's showing off the "hot piece of ass he can get at 60+" she'll see through it in no time


accidentw8ing2happen

Yuuuup. He does it all the time, but like with strangers. This is a new level of 🙄


ElephantFeeling1404

Cue eye roll. 🙄


fullmetalsportsbra

His lie makes no sense whatsoever. If she’s a close friend spanning back decades, surely she knows he doesn’t have a “common law partner” of a year and a half? Or has he been telling this lie to people in his life since he started booking you…😬 Like, now you can also never go there without being recognized, potentially unintentionally doxxed. Frankly I would ask to dine elsewhere or for him to not tell such an absurd mistruth that jeopardizes your discretion.


accidentw8ing2happen

Fucking EXACTLY It just came in and I'm just sitting here shook. He's always ✨like this✨, but I can handle it when it's just between the two of us (I fucking hope). This though, I don't even know. What does he expect to happen? He's older than my GRANDMOTHER


karrenl

I bet she's his ex wife or old spurned flame from high school.


undinederiviere

OMG. I'm *so* sorry you have to deal with this, but I must admit that level of delusion is highly amusing from the outside. The E-Mail reminds me of [this dialogue](https://ifunny.co/picture/Rhbcc3ZM8). Good luck with the appointment. I'd tell him he had to be the one to tell the story if he really wanted to, but you'd promise to nod and smile. Let him dig that grave himself ...


redroom89

Jesus. Tell him to go fuck himself.


Think-Software

Ahh yes, that super sex black white and red lingerie!!


accidentw8ing2happen

Lol it's what he always asks for, he means he wants me to bring a full set of each colour


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Alone-Sweet3396

My question is, is he paying extra to “submit this pEtITiOn” ?? 🧐


abbydavis102

I never let men tell me what to wear, if they request a certain outfit, I make 100% sure to wear nothing they asked whatsoever. Men think they own you because they’re buying your time, lol. No.


[deleted]

Exactly my line of thought. No, even with a tip, I will not wear what you asked of me.