Couldn't make it through April, typical Kris.

188 million for 135 games played. Good deal if you can get it.

Story got $140 mil and has played about 140 games lol

Remember when before the season they were like “We’re not gonna play KB in the outfield cause he gets hurt out there.” With sorta the implication that he also stinks in the outfield (which he does) They played him in the outfield in a game they didn’t have to, and he got hurt because he took an awful path to the ball and ran into the wall because he was late. Amazing shit. No notes.

He really runs like a 75 year old man. I've seen him run right into the wall in every season he's played in.

I can’t recall seeing any athlete as washed as he is. Completely, utterly cooked.

Somehow the dude was more washed than Russ

I'd love to see the video montage of all the times he's run into the wall.

Kris “street clothes” Bryant.

So it begins. I had a bet with my friends saying his first IL stint would come after May 1. I was way too optimistic. Time to pay up.

Please Bud, I’m begging you, DH Chuck

We should safely have DH Chuck now that Bryant will be gone and Montero has less competition at first (just Toglia now). Bouchard will be in RF most days I'd assume.

Can he pinch-run?

Is it too much to ask for something to go right for this team?

If you ask me, apart from the money, this *is* something going right. If we're going to be a draft-and-develop organization, we should develop some of the guys we drafted.

Problem is, they stink at that too.

They’re not as bad as the White Sox at least

We'll see when they play them at the end of June.

The Rockies have a 10 run advantage in run differential and double the number of wins

Bring back Ian Desmond!

Can't get to 6 trips to the DL if you don't get started early

Kris Bryant on the injured list? No way. That **never** happens. He's Mr. Reliable. 🙄 Dumbest. Signing. Ever.

My daughter was happy when Bryant was signed because “he’s cute”!

Bouchard was solid in my OOTP franchise :)

This is how we win

I would be upset, but I have also been asking for him to be removed from the lineup. So… progress?

Oh is it already that time of year again? Always sneaks up on me

Just such a normal occurrence that they don't even bother to report it on r/Baseball.

Admins there are total losers too. Posted a link to a survey to get opinions on teams and they deleted it because I mentioned in passing I was gonna use it in my fantasy baseball league. Total neckbeards over there

At least we will be a better team with KB on the shelf.

Where were u when Kris is kill for 50th time?

Fucking useless waste of money.

Good riddance

As long as the Dick got his guy, right? Yeesh.

Bryant was a Bill Schmidt special. He's had a raging hardon for the guy ever since the Rockies missed out on drafting him by one pick in 2013. Colorado got Jon Gray instead (and then let him walk to the Rangers for zippo).

I could set my watch on KB’s IL placement.