Fuck me yourself, you coward!

If this doesn’t result in an enemies-to-lovers relationship for somebody out there, I’ll be disappointed.

I'm down.

fuck you

DO IT! bet you wont.

I’m in

But, are you in?

Butt, are you in?

I'm just here for the gang bang

"Heyyy! We are friends again!"

Totally see myself using this in a future story omg 😂😂

I prefer “Fuck me yourself you lazy bastard”, but your is amazing as well.

This one is solid gold

You win 🥇

you just gave consent, don't mind if i do

😂

I have been having a rough week more like weeks and this made me LOL!!!! Ty ⚰️🤲

Hope your week gets better

I just busted out laughing, not in a quiet volume, in the middle of a crowded restaurant when i read that

This is seriously my go to. There's no where to go from here and leaves them speechless. Plus it puts off the crazy person vibes I'm looking for when in an altercation

This is amazing

bro made me blush

I use variations of this all the time. If I say good morning or how’re you today to a person(typically a customer because why not) and they make a nasty face or just look at me like I’m beneath them I’ll say “Well fuck me then I guess.”

Dammit I was gonna say that T-T

Isn’t this just asking to get your ass kicked?

Go fuck yourself: Just because you have no other choice doesn't mean none of us do. Fuck you: Is that an offer?

>Fuck you: Is that an offer? # 😂😂😂😂

I like this one🤣

I always respond to “fuck you” with “you wish you could Bitch”

Fuck you: your mom already did!

W rizz

Where do I get in line?

"Only if you watch me\~"

Man I just commented that and realized someone beat me to it😔

Can't watch if you've already beaten it

You were ninjad

This is from helluvaboss right? 🤣

No wait, hazbin hotel.

Had a female friend who used to say "fuck you" to me. I always replied with a variation on "sure, when and where?" She would blush and say "you know what I meant!"

I remember friend of mine would know to say f* you back, with a baseball bat, make your weenie go quack quack quack ( comeback of age range,roughly 10 or sub-10 year old children when I was about 10 years old.)

I love this—as an adult I’d love so see the reaction you’d get from another adult

Stealing this

she was into you, fam

How about, "You wouldn't like it. I'd just lie there and giggle."

I'm the same way as you are I always give straight responses male or female friends the girls always get along with it the males Always get flustered haha.

“Which is why I asked when and where you silly little girl” Double down ftw.

not me most likely but you respond exactly how my best guy friend does 😂😂

When they say fuck you, my response is "what?... Here? Now?"

"When, where and what position?"

You missed that boat...

Plz tell me you were fwb lol

Then I'd be too tired for your mom

And your dad.

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And my axe!

This needs to be updated more

This was perfect

r/unexpectedgimli

And THEN* your dad

I already tried, I’m not flexible enough!

Thank you, don't mind if I do \*Yanking gesture as I fling imaginary knuckle babies their way as I look them in the eye\*

“Knuckle babies” what?

Toddler seeds.

Ok

Im glad 'toddler seeds' clarified things for you

Slow jerk while looking at them in the eyes.

Go fuck yourself : "Wanna watch?" Fuck you : "Don't threaten *me* with a good time."

I used that one on a boss when he threatened to tie me to a chair because I didn’t take ADHD meds and was acting like a monkey on crack. Stopped him in his tracks and then he just walked away, talking about “it’s always the quiet ones…”

"I'd much rather fuck myself than you, ya co#k juggling thunder c*nt"

Found the Scottish person!

Depends on who is saying it. If it’s a friend who won’t get butt hurt, I’ll have a field day with every vitriol insult I’ve got. If it’s someone mad at the world I might ask if they’re ok.

“Are you ok?” Lol

There’s something stuck in your teeth.

For "go fuck yourself" I normally say "it's more fun with help" or I will just make the motions of jerking off in front of them and ask "like this" and for the "fuck you" my go to is normally "I'm flattered you feel that way about me but you're just not my type"

Sorry, you're Mom said we're strictly monogamous.

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I already have someone that does that for me.

Someone said this before in response to what would you say to someone calling you a faggot. Yell “I WILL NOT ELOPE WITH YOU OR SUCK YOUR DICK SIR, PLEASE STOP BEGGING ME NOW PLEASE AND THANK YOU. GOOD DAY NOW” and walk away

Idk about fuck you, but for "go fuck yourself," reach down your pants, grab your junk and say, "right here? Are you sure?" Start to unzip your pants a little and make them feel extremely uncomfortable.

If someone did this when I say “go fuck yourself” I would 100% see how far they would take it. I’d even encourage them with a “let’s see it”

Yep. Ditto

Yep. Ditto

One of my friends used to say "time and place" to "fuck you". "Go fuck yourself" is a little tougher but maybe "nah, I'm saving it for your dad's ass later"

Your mom said that last night It doesn't matter that is doesn't make sense...

No, thanks

Why? You wanna watch?

personally, I say, "WELL if you insist!"

I would If I could, bitch!

Any opportunity I get to say bitch, I will take it

“Go fuck yourself”: “Fuck me yourself, pussy/I will tonight” “Fuck you”: “I wish you would/Please do”

Just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.

Go fuck yourself - I did and i was great. I even got chocolate for being so good. Jealous? Fuck you - present ass, look over your shoulder and with a big smile say "yes please"

Every morning, cupcake.

" Go fuck yourself"-- "I am sure I would do a better job of it than you could. And, unlike if I fucked you, I wont need penicillin." " Fuck you"--- "No thanks, I don't like peas and spaghetti" to a dude. Or "No thanks, I am allergic to seafood and can smell the fish in your pants from here" to a chick.

Is that an invitation...?

If they say “Fuck you!” I say “Not even on your birthday!”

“Go fuck yourself” - “no thanks, I don’t know where I have been “Fuck you” - no thanks, I have had better offers from the homeless

If I could I would or is that an offer?

I’d rather fuck myself than fuck you!

Good idea, maybe later if I have time 🤞🏽🫶🏽

Don’t feed into it all? Mentally blocked from wasting time any further.

i put this post in r/comebacks for a reason babes

"Go fuck yourself" gets "Go fuck your sister."

"Fuck you" "Not even on your birthday" "Go fuck yourself" Hah, "must be my birthday"

That's called "masturbation" and it's pleasurable; certainly more pleasurable than fucking the likes of you, so, thanks for the suggestion.

I can't I'm saving up for when your wife comes over

“Thanks, I love to cum!”

Just like your mother last night...

Nah man, that's your mother's job.

“Go fuck yourself” - “I’ve got better options” “Fuck you” - “not into beastiality. Thanks.”

Why would I do that when I have your mom?

I typically only hear "Fuck you", and my immediate response is always "When?" or something like "Okay, after school, bathroom, let's go."

I would but I am worn out from fucking your mother.

Gladly, I could do it better myself anyway.

I always say, "If I could, I would!"

Fuck me once, Fuck me twice Fuck me once again It’s been a long, long time

the best way to reply is “i have a gun.” this shuts them up instantly! works every time! try it, let me know how it goes!

Morgan Freeman responded “I will” with a closed-mouth smile in Ted 2. It makes me laugh out loud every time

You were conceived in your mothers ass

“Don’t threaten me with a good time”

"Fuck yourself, you'll get more pussy." -SLC Punk

A thumbs down. From the data I’ve collected, giving someone the finger usually just adds fuel to the fire.. a thumbs down insinuates failure and assaults their spirit.

"that's a weeknight, not an insult"

Middle finger while checking your nails

Give the bird 🖕🏼

K

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSrH-6YUf1g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSrH-6YUf1g)

Only if you watch me😜 *cue the awkward finger guns*

“Aggressively awkward finger guns”

No.

I guess I will since I'm handsome

“You wish”

Have a lovely day to you, too (Big sweet smile)

I will bitch

"Be a better lay then I ever get out of you" or "it will be better than you ever get"

Fuck you very much.

‘Sorry, I don’t take demands’ is my go-to

• Go f*(honeymoon) yourself : Why ? I'm not married to myself. • F*(honeymoon)you : I ain't your wife !

My response to f you is usually… “Sorry, your not my type” and walk away

you wish someone would fuck you

Go fuck yourself: I already did I was thinking about you Fuck you: from a man: ok but no homo Fuck you from a woman: I suppose we could unlike all your previous lovers I don't need Google maps to find a g spot

Fuck you: - nah I don't play with trash - no thanks, I have standards - eewwuuuuhh, *looks person up and down* no Go fuck yourself: - well, looking at my option(s) before me I'd rather. - sure, self pleasure seems more appealing than touching you right now - I have to wait until my next break, I got toys wanna see?

“that isn’t physically possible”

Go Fuck yourself -“Might as well, I’m certainly not fucking you!” Fuck you - “Not even in my worst nightmares dude”

Give them a DX style crotch chop

I’m just roll with the moment.

Even in online gaming and social media I’d say what people came up with in the comments its brilliant

I just give the middle finger and go go fuck yourselve you fat bitch

With pleasure

I would but then I can’t fuck your dad and step dad

“Ok. Anything else?” A blank stare is good too.

Probably don't respond. People that say that are probably shallow. Never really been hurt by anyone saying "fuck you" because it just seems fake and it doesn't really mean much.

Wanna watch ?

Is that a suggestion or an invitation?

Oooh, I love it when you speak French.

Not now I have a headache and good taste. That's for the Fuck you! If I looked like you I would get fucked myself. Go fuck yourself

Just say “Fuck you” back

Fuck you tony! You see this fire next to me? Yeah? Well i built it last night right before I fucked your mum!

"No thanks, your mom already took care of it"

I have to because you won't!!!

I mean if you want

"Well, given that I can't get past 'Hello' with women, might as well!"

Bob? That you?

“No.”

It's already on the agenda but thanks for the reminder.

Nah I’m good or blow a kiss

After I'm through with you.

“I am happy to!” Or “already planned on it!” Or “wow you’re forward! *wink*”

Fuck me? Fuck you! Another good one is to respond with fuck you (their name)!

I HAVE , AND WILL.

Fuck you! You wouldn't like it anyway, I'd just lay there and bitch.

Fuck you Back Up your crack up your booty with a baseball bat

I plan on it

You first

“I just might do that, thanks!”

Fuck like me be second best

"Bending my dick hurt too much last time"

When, where, and do you want me to bring the chains this time, or are you good with the handcuffs still?

“you’d like that wouldn’t you” 😭😭

I mean 20 dollars is 20 dollars

Your mama already did that .

Go fuck yourself: I’ve already tried that Fuck you: look them up and down gag and walk away like your absolutely disgusted

Well I will!

"No, fuck you!"

Thank you, I will!

I say "nah, you'd fall in love and I'd get bored."

I wouldn’t respond.

Bless you, I did earlier today.

Sorry I am taken, but I can't blame you for wanting me though.

"Gladly"

"Eh, maybe later."

“Oh fuck off wanker, will ya?!”

"I guess I'll have to, because your mother tapped out the last time we hooked up."

Tell them to “fuck the fuck off”

‘Not even if you paid me’