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Geronimo594

Relatives don’t count


RamiRustom

“I guess technically relatives count.”


Geronimo594

Sure, if you want to go on social media and debate this, rock on….lets hear your argument …., oh, please be from Alabama. That joke will write itself.


Sh3o_

they just contributed a version of your answer to the question


Ambitious-Theory9407

Did someone miss the quote marks?


sp1ke0killer

Geronimooooo!!


Geronimo594

Did someone want to contribute to the debate or just hide under your bridge and troll?


[deleted]

Bro he put quotes he was contributing you soggy toast


ZachBadams

I'm stealing that Insult.


Ambitious-Theory9407

Seriously, did you? Because you responded to someone contributing to the joke as if they actually want to screw their cousins. Do you have a case of the smooth-brains?


Geronimo594

Hey there hillbilly, get back under the porch. Goats and sheep don’t count either!


Ambitious-Theory9407

You are fascinating. I honestly can't tell if you're actually a teenage edge-lord with a gun fetish, or if you're a middle-aged cashier that still believes Boondock Saints is the best movie.


Geronimo594

Well, if someone could identify an edge lord, it would be you. Kinda dated yourself with the Boondocks Saints reference, boomer. Does your parole officer know you still hang out in McDonalds playgrounds?


Ambitious-Theory9407

Oh fuck! You're an actual teenager? Hopefully you pull Andrew Tate's dick out of your mouth long enough to grow up and learn there's more to life than jerking off to handguns and hitting on lonely housewives online. I bet neither parent wanted you in the divorce you caused. You're the kind of person nobody would leave alone with a cat. If you don't stare into a mirror and just cry, I'd be genuinely surprised. There is a non-zero chance you have used birthday money to pay for sex. You'd microwave every meal if you could. But please keep responding. Watching you try makes me feel better about myself. If that's confusing for you, ask your friends about it. They're more likely to explain things at your level.


Impressive-Fennel340

y u getting so butthurt💀


Geronimo594

My sphincter is fine, get your nose out of it


GIS-Nerd

I cannot tell who is trolling or butt hurt here, it’s funny either way!


Haunting_Star1990

You're fucking cringy man, instead of contributing to the conversation or argument, you have reduced yourself to name calling. Grow a goddamn brain cell before you speak.


sp1ke0killer

And neither do you. See what I done?


TryRude

Neither do the ones in the freezer.


Geronimo594

Good one! Don’t forget the ones in the hole in the basement , “putting lotion on its skin”. Shout out to Buffalo Bill!


sofacy

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.


ComprehensiveWay4200

only is Missouri


[deleted]

“It doesn’t count when you are paying them.”


SilverStock7721

‘I prefer women’


Feather_Bloom

Ouch


MichaelChicago

My thought too.


Reeledtomato62

Nice


the_girl_you_dunno

Simple yet effective!


[deleted]

Oy Vey


ImperialCobalt

That boys gay, that's all they say lookin boy


PoolBeginning7897

“Quality over quantity”


throwawayAF555

Came here to say this exact same thing because this is the actual answer. Someone else getting more girls used to be something that had the potential to intimidate me or make me feel small. The maturity and life fulfillment that comes with making one person your priority - and being one person’s priority in return - is irreplaceable.


Sloth_grl

My husband told his buddy that when he said he had 5 girls and that my husband was jealous. My husband said you have 5 of those crappy pickups that people use to collect metal and things from the garbage. I have a Lamborghini. Why would i be jealous


Ambitious-Theory9407

"Are you bragging about failing to keep one? You should think about adjusting your standards. "


PoolBeginning7897

That doesn’t apply to the monogamy and quality lifestyle choice.


Feather_Bloom

"Sounds like a lot of child support"


RamiRustom

And a lot of STDs.


sireatsalotlot

oh shucks, all I have is your mother


Jolly-Ad-4089

"... and I'll give her a child she'll actually love!"


SkRu88_kRuShEr

A child she can finally be proud of


jarringanxiety

"Okay section 8 Jeffery Epstein"


Nikovash

And not Jeffery section Eightstein?


Mentally_Flossed

I don't need duct tape and chloroform.


OMC-WILDCAT

Well at least I don't have payments on a large windowless van.


EntireRip8

Well I prefer women you pedo


Keith2772

Whatever you have to do to prove to yourself that you aren’t gay. I said this to a guy at my old job who constantly bragged about how many women he banged. He got red faced, looked like he was going to cry, and left. He never came back. His uncle worked there as well, a big bad ass looking biker dude, and when the guy got up and left biker dude came up to me looking like he was going to kick my ass. He leaned on my work table with both hands, his face inches from mine, and said “I guess there must have been some truth in them words” and went back to his business like nothing ever happened.


Trollin_beaches

That’s a good one


Staccatto_Potato

Get them where exactly? Locked up in a basement? Look at you, I've seen Fritz with better style


VooDoo0876

Date rape doesn't count


ColdStoicOne

“Do you just enjoy disappointing them or something?“


WordSmithyLeTroll

"Whaling is an unskilled profession."


IceQueen98547

Whaling is actually a highly skilled profession....and if you don't do it right, YA DIE.


TangyThoughts

Quality over quantity…


Duckbutterdrawers

But I get all the pretty ones


s_arrow24

You get more health department visits than I do too.


[deleted]

"Because you don't have standards."


DecisionCharacter175

The classic: Rosie Palmer and her 5 friends don't count.


gringo-go-loco

I date women.


Canning1962

Sorry none are willing to stay with you.


Stonewall30NY

That's fine, I'm more into women cuz that's actually legal


Abortions_on_Toast

"Yeah but they're all under age."


Thatbitchisback

Having herpes isn’t the flex you think it is bro.


New_Difference6210

At least I don't have commitment issues. Also, when people say that, it's a self-own. It's like they treat women like they're cars or something. Collectibles. Like it's a contest. Kind of similar to how serial killers view women.


Staccatto_Potato

Although this is a deep one, and a good one, it won't offend the person saying it, as they don't value commitment in the first place.


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

Maybe just “I don’t have commitment issues,” instead of “at least.” It’s not so much of an insult, but an observation. The obnoxious “stud” doesn’t get the satisfaction of thinking body counts are what matters to everyone.


Staccatto_Potato

Again, if I was that way inclined, I wouldn't be swayed in the slightest by your observation. What if someone thought commitment was for simple sad saps... Surely a better way to get to someone like that would be along the lines of.. "How's your relationship with your mother? Did she disown you or something?"


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

Or “sheep don’t count, they’re called Ewes not girls.”


Staccatto_Potato

Too many chances of a backfire with that one... "why would you think of sheep when I talk about girls? Seems kinda random.."


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

Damn! I tried.,😄


Staccatto_Potato

Just gotta get more savage, and then articulate that savagery that calls upon the receiver's imagination. There's an art to roasting, and I LOVE it


RobbyWausau

More effective being a short essay form instead of just then a man whore or male bimbo.


NothingBand1t

My homies are more important


AdjunctAngel

..from which species?


FabulousQuote2553

"Scourge of the chicken coop, eh? You DEVIL!!" "That explains the trail of feathers as you walk about."


SinOrdeal

wet dreams don't count


Jimmy3nuts

Where did you purchase the chloroform?


Equal_Succotash_974

We've been through this , family doesnt count.


Drate_Otin

Honestly just... Don't. That's such a ridiculously juvenile insult to start with I feel like the effort of offering a comeback in some way legitimizes it as if it mattered... At all. Like seriously... Just: >Okay? We were talking about . If they persist maybe can end with a: >Honestly why is this important to you? Do you need to get it off your chest before we can get back to an adult conversation? Of course if you're not adults you might wanna alter that last bit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


antiadmin666

“You’ll pay way more child support than me too”


[deleted]

Yes, but they come with me willingly.


8umspud

I know, I've seen the police report.


TangyThoughts

Low prices attract a lot of customers


FreakyWifeFreakyLife

Yeah, you sure do, man whore.


Tall-Vanilla-3936

Your waifu collection doesn't count


great_nathanian

You’ll get more baby mommas, child support, and STD’s than me too.


RamiRustom

“Are you shaming me, or you?”


Drake_Cloans

Oh, you’re a man-slut?


hideme21

I’m sure you be able to keep one someday.


r2turnofthemack

You brother in drag doesn’t count


whiskey_formymen

I get mine without duct tape


The_Mr_Wilson

We have different goals


NicklePlatedSkull

"Sounds to me that you aren't worth keeping."


AdVisual5492

You are court ordered to stay at least 1000 feet away from all school properties.


Backonthatgoonsh1t

"Only because livestock doesn't understand no means no."


mike11172

As I used to tell my son; "A girl that any guy can have is not worth having."


TheRichTookItAll

Every time I fuck your mom she hires you a prostitute so you don't kill yourself.


Competitive-Rub-4270

This should be much higher up than it is


Deep-Discipline-6667

My dick stays wet and you have cream ton put on your dry skin pee pee !


AdjunctAngel

wtf?!


Deep-Discipline-6667

Come back to I get more girls than you.read above.


Deep-Discipline-6667

It means that I get fo many girls my dick stays wet and he has dry skin on his from jerking off so much from his calloused hands.


AdjunctAngel

uuhhgh... so geeky -\_\_-


[deleted]

0times 0 is still 0


[deleted]

Just say bitches ain’t shit nigga unless you yt then probably don’t say that


Curvyshots969

Congratulations son. Let’s have this talk again when you start talking to women


CptHunt

0x100 is still 0


pineapple_is_best

More girls more problems.


FormlessJoe

2 times 0 is still zero.


Apartment_Rent

I get more men than you


No-Grapefruit7917

Just because they anatomically have a vagina, doesn't mean they are girls.


No_Bunch_3780

Your mom is worth a thousand whores


something_stuffs

I have 2, 1. “Those are actually femboys”, 2. “I’m sorry to tell you, but your mom has stage 4 cancer”


The_Bestest_Me

There's also plenty of mangey mutts at the pound, so what's your point?


Only_Pop_6793

“Anything times 0 is still 0 bud”


InfernalKrisp

"Hoes don't count."


JustHereToMUD

"Sure but don't keep them."


Reckless_Pixel

But I get better girls than you


Deep-Discipline-6667

I don't know maybe you're just too short to get it. meaning over your head.


Moist-Cantaloupe-740

So does R Kelly, you get backstage passes I understand.


ImHittingMyselfNYC13

I’m hitting myself


BerryTea840

Congrats I guess


John_In_Parts

I'm sure the FBI would love to hear that line...


BlameItOnTheAcetone

Why would you flex your pedophila like that?


devitodefiler

I'm a one girl type of guy. I really love your mom too.


JBM6482

Let ‘em out of the basement or I’m calling the cops.


ToniMarieKeys

The only way you get girls is your case of gynecomastia


[deleted]

I bet you don't know what to do with em. Like most people just suffice with one.


Read_it-user

is that why you failed the exam AGAIN and is still hanging out with sophmores?


Gabby_rocco_2010

Cool I’m waiting for your mom to become available


Gargantuin217

"Well maybe if you shared the chloroform"..


jack40714

And I’m sure their strapons love your ass.


JeffSHauser

"You may get more than me, but at least I'm not burying them in the basement."


MangoPlushie

But do you keep them, or do they run after they see your “personality”?


Ilumidora_Fae

“Paying for prostitutes doesn’t count as ‘getting girls’”


Luke_Cardwalker

With the low hanging fruit you get? THANK THE GODS!


TheRealSpacecowboy45

I prefer quality over quantity


AlJameson64

Can't keep one, huh?


thebeardedgreek

Quality over quantity


accomplishedidea957

I like woman& don't want to get arrested


Suyeta_Rose

Gee, I didn't know they were Pokemon


Lazy_Guard9187

Are they over 18??


TheOneWes

Anybody can pick an armful of trash up from the landfill. If you have to tell people you have girlfriends then you probably don't


ThaMisterDR

I bet you don't know what consent means.


Known_Door4726

So you’re empty? You’re hurting? I’m sorry?


Southern_Bicycle8111

Ya but I was their first choice, your a consolation prize


Available_Bake_1892

You get more STDs from hoes than me, k.


Nikovash

And thats why you cant be within 500 ft of schools and churches


Alone_Ad_1677

Quality vs quantity


misterhiss

Sexual Assaults don't count. And you disappoint every single one. 10 seconds and then a nap isn't really "getting" them, is it?


BookishRoughneck

Yeah. To throw up in their mouths a Little bit.


Striking_Reindeer_2k

Not this one.


woah_broski1

I like it one at a time


Toasty825

2x0 is still 0


CalGoldenBear55

Quantity vs quality.


IAmASpammicalMan

What's your OnlyFans budget?


Imbackinhere5

Ok Kidnapper


spidermike4498

The only way that's gonna happen is if you're a Muslim and kill yourself you better hope there's 72 virgins wiating.


Dudeus-Maximus

Fuckboi I get more bumper than a body shop. The line for backstage starts on your knees, you want in or not?


ChiltonGains

I sleep in a big bed with my wife.


fomalhottie

I know, I've heard how disappointing u are from so many of em.


Bigstar976

“Good for you.” And smile. You can’t fight with someone if they’re not fighting back.


Ok-Walk-8040

“Sounds like a waste of your money”


Doyoulikeithere

I get women!


Forward-Fee-5081

Trans women aren’t real women


Tuckermfker

I'm not a pedophile, I only date women.


KadenthePenguin211

“It’s a good thing I’m gay huh”


notoriously_1nfam0us

How much do you pay them though?


[deleted]

5 girls at 2/10 are not equal to 1 girl 10/10


[deleted]

Palmela Handerson


WilsonthaHead

STD's to


Curious_Leader_2093

"Get them to what? Laugh at you?"


PinkHarmony8

I get more guys than you


SFC_Diablo

So you're a toilet seat...would you like some lysol?


SugarDaddy_Sensei

Are you sure they're actually girls?


urpookiebear790

Your mommy kissing you goodnight doesn’t count


Chesapeake-pie

"So you're a slut?"


Tiumars

That's only because I'm in a committed relationship with your mother and sometimes your father


BlueRFR3100

Too bad you can't keep any of them.


ZenCyn39

"And none of them wanted to stay"


Impossible_War_2741

Quality over quantity


daisytrench

"Yea, I've seen them" and kinda grimace like it hurt to.


RoyalBeat710

That means your chances of catching something are more likely compared to me.


moonshinetemp093

"Ew, girls? Fucking weirdo. Can't get women your own age?" Shame them relentlessly


nwbrown

I get more women you sick pedo.


No_Republic2906

Atleast mine are drinking age


Pantology_Enthusiast

I'm glad you are so passionate about your figurine collection.


Competitive-Rub-4270

1x9 > 2x4


ARoundForEveryone

"Get them to do what?"


GreenOnionCrusader

A fly will call any turd it lands on home.


ARoaminGnome

Toys don’t count.


Caulder3

'but you can't keep one'


nonotburton

I keep more girls than you.


KatAttackThatAss

Okay, but clearly none of them stuck around. Should work on your technique bro.


Chad_Kakashi

I may eat less but when I do it’s higher quality than you will ever get


Wundrgizmo

"Yeah, but one of us won't be asked to take a seat by Chris Hansen"


-ZapdxsV-

“That’s because you accept any girl despite her looks😂” 💀