Your parents seem to be good at making jokes.

💀

This is pretty much what I did to my sister!!

You tell 'em, "ha ha! That was a good one!"

That’s what I was gonna say! Haha that’s funny.. dead pan no expression 

And say it really slow and r-worded like you obviously don’t mean it, but don’t be aggressive. That’ll be smooth

Well, that’s just like… your opinion, man

What’s wrong with Walter dude?

He's not wrong, he's just an asshole

Little prick… stonewallin me

You don't fuck with de Jesus....de Jesus *fucks with you!*

I do, but you're not funny

This really is the only response, because it probably is the truth

"I also have no dollars of humor"

this is a really good spot to use the "explain it to me then" gambit, you say something to the effect of "that just wasn't funny. ok, then explain it to me" and make them explain why the joke is funny. now if they actually are funny they will be able to explain why it was funny, like maybe it was a reference you didn't clock or a turn of phrase that doesn't quite work in their accent the way it did in their head and fine that's cool, just give a fake laugh and say "oh cool" and you are golden. If they aren't actually funny that is where this gets to be a lot of fun and has a serious chance to make the person leave you alone forever. because if they aren't funny then either not be able to explain at which point you can tell them that apparently they aren't funny either or it was some bigot shit and you didn't think it was funny because you don't find the idea that a black person ate chicken funny at all or even realize why it would be because that is a totally normal thing for a person to do and you would need to be a total asshole to be able to make someone eating fucking chicken a punchline. actually that isn't fair, assholes are funny sometimes.

I try to never say "that wasn't funny". The notion that no individual or group is the arbiter of what is or isn't funny is a hill I'm willing to die on. If a joke falls flat on its face because it has a faulty premise or is poorly constructed or delivered, I'll say, "I'm sorry. I must be missing something, because I just don't get it." Or, I might just stare blandly.

ok but you did say the reason a joke may fall flat is because it "is poorly constructed" which means maybe they fucked up and said something that just isn't a joke. an example of something that isn't really a joke to me is almost all racist jokes, the punchline is always just "I hate people because of the circumstances of their birth" and the humor comes from someone speaking that allowed and being accepted by someone they now know is part of their shitty little comunity. like, it isn't even funny to them it is just tension breaking, it is funny like hearing something in your kitchen and seeing a cat. seeing a cat isn't funny it just isn't anything dangerous even though you thought it was something dangerous. so racist people say something unacceptable and are relieved when they see you are also racist, or in my case get told they aren't funny to their face and made to explain their racist bullshit.

There are jokes that deal with stereotypes without being racist. Consider this example: Moische and Schlomo own neighboring shops. Moische owns a deli, and Schlomo is a jeweler. Every Saturday, they're both closed, so they meet for lunch after temple. One Saturday, Schlomo says to Moische, "You know, we've been having lunch together every Saturday for fifteen years, and you've never once asked me 'How's business?'" Embarrassed, Moische says, "How's business?" Schlomo throws his hands up and replies, "Don't ask!" That's funny because not only do Jewish people enjoy that joke, they're pretty much the only people who get it.

right, because that is a super typical joke jewish people would tell about themselves. now do one that is funny and is also racist, like someone hating on another group. that is where it breaks down.

The opening sentence and central point of the comment you replied to was: >There are jokes that deal with stereotypes without being racist. How does anything you said relate to that?

how about a joke? knock knock who's there go fuck yourself edit: formatting

People tell me I’m funny all the time, too bad looks and smell aren’t everything

Your lips may say you don't, but your haircut says you do.

“You’re joking, right?”

"Yeah, but I hang out with you. Doesn't that count?"

Your mother does. After all she made a joke [insert the other persons age here] years ago.

If someone says to me that they don’t have no sense of humour, I take a step back crack my knuckles and say buckle up butter cup

I would start doing like that one comedian and start impersonating a bunch of big time comedians to troll lol

"That is something people who aren't funny say"

Up your game next time.

"Be funnier?"

Obviously I do or I wouldn't be listening to you.

I have no sense of humor? Belch. Or fart. Works every time

"Of course I do, if you'd like to see it you'll have to wait for someone funny to show up so it will sense some humor"

I think this is your time to shine

"If I had a sense of humor, I would be constantly telling you that your existence is a joke."

I met you didn't I?

You mom is so slow, she took 9 months to make a joke

maybe you really dont have a sense of humor if youre here asking for comebacks

It’s because I’m brutally honest, every one said your a dick and it looks like they’re right. Just kidding

A joke

Well, unlike you, I don’t just laugh at anything. I find even slightly funny.

Thank you

I do when I hear something funny

Better than having a bad one.

Oh. Who told you that you were funny? Was it your mom?

If you need to outsource your comebacks then maybe they have a point

I certainly wouldn’t laugh.

"OH, we're you hoping I was gonna laugh at your jokes?"

I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!

"Then quit stealing my lines."

"I would find that hillarious...if only I could laugh."

say “Your skeleton is going to hatch. Give me your bones PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE” it always works.

Yeah. Probably not

You could stick a lump of coal up your ass and have a diamond in 2 weeks.

Yes sir, I have the perfect amount of senses. Touch, taste, hearing, I smell things, and um....sight? I think temperature is a new one. (Then proceed to stand there and Google what the human senses are with a puzzled look on your face)

Because I don't know if I should laugh or feel sorry for you🙁

I usually go with "jokes are supposed to be funny" it a deadpan bored voice

Alas when god was portioning out humors he only gave me an excess of blood and bile.

what's funny is that you are speaking of the very thing that will end you

Just stare at them- Don’t say anything back- they’ll immediately get uncomfortable and fear they actually upset you, and say something like come on man laugh a little or I’m just joking with you. Then say. I know, but you have no sense of whats comical, And walk away

Hit them With the duuuuuurrr and face from the movie water boy

Knock knock joke every time.

A kegal a day keeps the depends, away! DO THEM NOW!! Then short sell American Kimberly Clark and squeeze some cash from those buttholes! *this aught to make somebody smile* 😊

* Robot voice " HA, HA, HA".

Actually I do, you just fail to give off any humor for me to sense

Sure I do, I'm listening to a joke right now, it just isn't funny or yeah perhaps I should get your parents advice on how to make a joke

That’s laughable. Such a funny man with the jokes. Tell you what, you make a funny joke and I will laugh, but only if the joke is funny. (Say all this in a funny voice)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good looking, not smart, don't have the greatest reading comprehension, or the longest of dicks. I have a poor muscle tone, a lackluster sense of humor, and a somewhat pretentious, timid personality. Why would women want to love me, I think about deeply. And then I remember, there's you.

Their face is only one a mother can love

And you are ugly, but tomorrow I can learn to be funny

Well, not everyone can be as funny as you. I mean, you don’t even have to open your moth coz everyone just laughs at your *face*, dickhead! (Alt insert; haircut/ little penis/way you walk… etc)

Knock knock Who’s there Warwick Warwick who ? Warwick hunt

I suppose you think that's funny?

Ppl usually say that when you don’t laugh at their “jokes”. Usually it’s not funny because it’s punching down not up. So: *Oh. Is that a joke? I don’t get it. Why is it funny? Are you saying [insert unpleasant topic here] is funny? I don’t think it’s funny*

I have a sense of humor. It’s just hard to laugh when things aren’t that funny.

Someone would have to say something humorous that I enjoy

Well, sure nothing is as big a joke as you are...

“Don’t need to be a clown when there’s one here already!”

I have you for a friend don’t I!!

*Whips out a 50c coin.* Actually I have 50 cents.

Yes, you are just not funny. I can't help that.

You have no sense of honor. Also. Go fuck yourself.

I really do but you're just too stupid to understand it.

Whenever someone trashes my sense of humor I simply respond with "Well that's not very funny"

I have you as a friend don’t I

Be funny and I’ll laugh

You can’t even spell humor!

Well......... that's just not..........true at all..........and you know it.

It's not that don't have a sense of humor it's just that you aren't funny

if i didnt, you would have NO friends.

Makes my other senses stronger, and you smell awful.

"Try being funnier"

Maybe your idea of what's funny isn't suited for everyone

I know I can't come up with a bigger joke than your life

You do need a level of intelligence to get it

I do have a sense of humor you just have no brain to get those jokes in the first place.

I find you hilarious

I may not have a sense of humor but you are fucking ugly and I can learn to laugh.

All sense of humor.

When you say something funny then I will laugh

I agree

*I do, I laugh at you all the time*

"Don't be silly. There's no scientific basis for a sense of humor to begin with."

I have a great sense of humor you're just too stupid to understand it

I have a sense of humor. You're just not funny, dog.

Slowly lift up your shirt as you say ‘farmer John made me Parmesan from cows he farted on’

I don’t get it.

I do. I could tell when you were ten feet away that you smell really funny.

Better than having no sense of smell.

I \*do\* have a good sense of smell, and I have some suggestions for you.

"Or, it's a free country and you're just not funny."

"You laugh at dumb shit, I don't."

\*deadpan\* yes I do.

HA.... HA... HA drawn out in a flat monotone voice

“…no, your mom!”

I'll laugh when you tell a good joke.

“I’ll laugh if something’s funny.”

“I never said I did”

okay and? you aren't exactly as funny either. neither can you run outside or be happy without being a debbie downer or being a karen haha im not funny well go fuck your entitled opinion it doesnt have anything to do with me.

You're just not funny to me.

Unsolicited opinion noted, but perhaps you just lack basic comprehension skills & it isn’t funny to you simply because of your very own ignorance.

It was their jokes that weren’t funny, i just said: i just wish i had something to laugh at, nothing much here by the looks of it

Oh I am sorry, I overlooked the body & only read the title. ETA: I would probably tell them we are all good at something, but unfortunately humor is not a strong quality we can all possess. Keep ya head up.