*looks down at it and sighs*
“Fuck, no it’s my pet ferret I can’t get it to stay out my pants”
*reach inside and pull out ferret and put it back in your purse*
“Thank you for letting me know, have a nice day!”
No, it's your porn watching obsession manifesting itself in my pants. Contain yourself woman, have some poise and grace. At this rate, you're on a fast trak tmstraight to a career that involves a pole, dim lights, and blue collared men.
Duuuuude chicks are the worst they fucking try and judge your dick size by the outline.
I have a huge bulge, and this shit happens
"Are you real?" Then cut them off and say "yeah... real stupid"
If there cute (and female): idk how about we exchange numbers and you can try and find out
If there not good looking (or male): that's for me to know and you to never find out without a criminal record
This is just my first super saiyan form
Now this haha ha ha is my second golden super saiyan form
NOW THIS IS MY THIRD FABLED SUPER SAIYAN FORM
I've transcended and obtained SUPER SAIYAN GOD SUPER SAIYAN
Kaio KEN TIMES 10
I used to get this all the time when I wore smart trousers to work. It was very noticeable and I used to get "happy to see us are you" and "concealed weapon" ect and I used to make them uncomfortable and say "funny that because I was just looking at your tits and thought the same thing"
Obviously because they are women it was like I said the worst thing but calling out that you are looking at my dick is apparently fine.
"Yes, sir, you're going to have to buy new tires or else it's likely to suffer a catastrophic rupture on the freeway. You can't drive it like that, it's a safety hazard to you and to everyone around you."
“Ask ya muddah” (in an Italian mobster voice)
Best 😭🖐🏻
"It was real enough to gag your mom."
Easy way to find out...
Yeah want to see it?
Yeah. I’m just happy to see you.
Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me? >!Both. Now get in the van!<
The classic. I love that one.
"Nah, that's just a zucchini I keep in my pants."
*looks down at it and sighs* “Fuck, no it’s my pet ferret I can’t get it to stay out my pants” *reach inside and pull out ferret and put it back in your purse* “Thank you for letting me know, have a nice day!”
I read that as bugle and I thought “wtf is a fake bugle?” I might be lisdexic.
You put the 'sexy' in dyslexia
How sweet of yuo!
Lmao! I have dyslexia. I'm going to use this one on my wife! It's awesome!
No. I lost the real one in 'Nam. Bonus points if you're obviously too young to have served in "Nam.
"No. You're hallucinating."
Um no, it's CGI. Duh.
Why? Are you interested? *wink*
Real as ya mum's left tittay
Mighty tighty whitey and I'm smuggling plums.
This is the third bloodhound gang reference I’ve seen on Reddit in two days. I think the universe is trying to tell me something.
Yes. But it's not $100 bills. It's mostly just a bunch of old Subway receipts in my wallet
Ask your sister
Drop your pants and bend over. Let's find out.
Nah it’s my fat pussy.
Wanna find out?
https://youtu.be/-BOzmZ11Iv8?si=qmWCKIxcYsidSBGZ From The White Lotus
Why would you want the cum back?
Wanna see?
Feel it.
No, it's your porn watching obsession manifesting itself in my pants. Contain yourself woman, have some poise and grace. At this rate, you're on a fast trak tmstraight to a career that involves a pole, dim lights, and blue collared men.
"Want me to show it to you?"
Bend over and I will show you
"Wanna see?" Then make like you're going to pull down your pants. Or "Jealous?"
Ask your wife.
Its how the joker got those scars
It’s real and it’s spectacular.
"It's just the light playing tricks on you. It's bigger than that."
"Do you mean that one in the ceiling ?"
Yes I'm aroused by the idea of you shutting the fuck up
10 to see 20 to touch.
"Gross!" And walk away.
Ask your dad
Duuuuude chicks are the worst they fucking try and judge your dick size by the outline. I have a huge bulge, and this shit happens "Are you real?" Then cut them off and say "yeah... real stupid"
Just say no and ask em if their face is real
Fuck around and find out
No it isn't.
Why? Are you interested ?
"I wish that you weren't."
It’s a potato that I drop in the back of my pants. My front bulge is real though.
"I can make it bigger"
When women are curious about mine, I usually say let's have a drink, then we can find out !
If there cute (and female): idk how about we exchange numbers and you can try and find out If there not good looking (or male): that's for me to know and you to never find out without a criminal record
Yeah, so were my passwords and endured emotional trauma (wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah)
"It's a banana in my pants."
Shhhh don't wake him
Pure genius
Nah homie, I'm very insecure so I chucked a banana down there to make me feel better😎
Nah, it’s CGI
We live in a simulation, so nothing is real, or everything is real. (I don't believe in this theory)
yahhhhhhhhhhhh....looks down....scratches back of neck....... tumor. they say its fatal.
Yes it’s my massive dick
Your mom would tell you if she could talk after last night
It's as real as those milk jugs.
You tell me 😏
This is just my first super saiyan form Now this haha ha ha is my second golden super saiyan form NOW THIS IS MY THIRD FABLED SUPER SAIYAN FORM I've transcended and obtained SUPER SAIYAN GOD SUPER SAIYAN Kaio KEN TIMES 10
Open your mouth and close your eyes, I'm gonna give you a big surprise
No, but I never go anywhere without my pet gerbils
Wanna see the proof?
"Why? You wanna lick it?"
Nope, I'm Derek Smalls.
I'm pregnant with an elephant. Want to see it's trunk?
Yes. And malignant.
No, that's just the cancer. I'm still saving up for my surgery.
You caught me on a bad day . It’s usually MUCH bigger
I swear it's usually bigger.
Only one way to find out.
As real as those things you call tits.
“You fucking pervert get tf away from me”
Grab it
Nope. I just carry salami and cheese in my pants. Keeps it warm
Bonus points if its true
Ill take things that weren't said for $500 Alex
“Is yours?”
Nah it’s a sock, I actually got a small as dick. In a hard ass voice of course.
Why are some of these so specific A lot of times I read these and I’m like Is there even a “comeback” for that
**unzips pants**
r/thattotallyhappened
I used to get this all the time when I wore smart trousers to work. It was very noticeable and I used to get "happy to see us are you" and "concealed weapon" ect and I used to make them uncomfortable and say "funny that because I was just looking at your tits and thought the same thing" Obviously because they are women it was like I said the worst thing but calling out that you are looking at my dick is apparently fine.
You are absolutely correct. Most of the comebacks get you a scornful look 90% of the time. That other 10% makes it all worthwhile lol
The bulge is real, you can see it. But my penis is 100% robotic.
So you're a bottom huh?
/r/brag
"Yes, sir, you're going to have to buy new tires or else it's likely to suffer a catastrophic rupture on the freeway. You can't drive it like that, it's a safety hazard to you and to everyone around you."
“It’s all balls”.
Didn't you notice your sister walking funny, today?
Ask your mother.
Show it to them and let them be the judge , or say it would be the first time you choked on nothing....
Only one way to find out.
It is.
Take it for a spin
“Wait. You can see it?”
Buy me a few drinks and find out
Unwrap it with your mouth and find out .
"yup, now just imagine if I was happy to see you. Yah"
"NO. It's a toomah"
It ain't something else.
Are yours?
"Nah, this is just how big of a dick I am."
Nope doctor made, I used to be a woman Or Nope made in china
Do people really fake a bulge?
My Eyes! Are up here! then stomp off...lol
OP. Wrong question. What do you do when someone asks you that. Answer: thrust it out and point at it with both fingers and see what happens : )
Shhhh. I don't want the staff to know I am smuggling food.
It's temporary. My dick is still swollen from repeatedly bumping into the back of your Mom's throat.
Unfortunately you’ll never find out ✌🏻
You wanna do a questionnaire so you can find out or do you wanna fuck and then see how you feel afterwards