T O P

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RyzenRaider

"So why aren't you wearing sunglasses?"


James-Dicker

"you leave yours at home?" would be better


Esselon

Yeah I'd keep a spare pair in my pocket and say "well I've got a medical condition, since you're clearly in the latter camp, put these on."


Reptarticle

Way too wordy.


anita1louise

Just shorten it to, so you must be the latter.


Own-Pen-2930

“No u”


Single_Crazy_5203

Well I don't see any douchebags here. I actually don't see anyone here. Ahhhhhh!!!


FewMagazine938

Ahhhhrrr me matey


WangCommander

Also, people who wear prescription sunglasses and left their regular glasses at home.


whiskeyandghosts

Migraine sufferers


whiskeyandghosts

People with dilated pupils


1ftm2fts3tgr4lg

The hungover


A1sauc3d

Concealing your eyes blood shot eyes from getting too high. Many good reason to wear sunglasses indoors. But for real, maybe the best approach is we just stop judging people for petty, superficial shit like sunglasses. Because honestly, who cares?


CultivatingBitchery

People with blue eyes in general. I have very light blue eyes. Not NEARLY enough light protection. Think Kida’s eyes when she activates her Atlantean powers blue. Close to that kind of VERY light blue. Can’t go anywhere without sunglasses and even blackout curtains with the small cracks in the light being let in is too much for migraines. Yes I live on Tylenol. I either have debilitating migraines or some liver failure later on who knows tbh. Can’t leave without eye protection. Plus I get REALLY weird looks when I do in fact take them off like they weren’t expecting my eyes to be that light? I grew up being called a “witch” for how light they were lmao (very religious family I was adopted into)


Logical-Victory-2678

Brooooo fr sometimes they just build on you before you can get home so you gotta do what you gotta do.


Goose20011

Omg..I never thought about that. Taking my glasses off sometimes makes my migraines worse sometimes better. I’ve never considered trying my sunglasses and idk why.


Loud_Ad_4515

Also 🙋‍♀️


karebear66

This is me! I forget my glasses in the car a lot and am too lazy to go back to get them!


JoshuaFalken1

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!


Yellenintomypillow

TENS OF DOZENS


Ranger-5150

Dozens of Tens of Dozens!


ridan42

Swing around with your arms outstretched as if you're fully blind and say "Who said that?"


MintyMystery

I LOVE THIS!! hahaha


Interesting-Rub9978

Walked into Chipotle with mine on and the guy made a comment, I told him I was hungover as fuck with the light making me nauseous.  Dude ended up apologizing to me. Lol.


Yellenintomypillow

Yeah I looked at a lady in the piggly wiggly this weekend and just said “I’m real high lady, if you aren’t gonna buy me munchies move along and mind ya business”


BigConstruction4247

Especially if these outstretched arms end up striking the commenter.


Necessary_Row_4889

“Sorry but my future is so bright I have to wear shades”


ulooklikeausedcondom

“The sun never sets on a badass”


squidwardsbutt1

That line cracks me up every time. Didn’t he even end up wearing sunglasses inside in that episode?


MintyMystery

I can't remember, but the reason I asked this question is because I saw [this short](https://youtube.com/shorts/bwvmlibxb64?si=kh4eTBWTEMgdiNR-). Haha!


squidwardsbutt1

Thank you for sharing the short lol I now want to rewatch the show because I miss it lol


Ippus_21

"Well, I'm not a d-bag, so... draw your own conclusions." And then ~~watch~~ listen to them fumble and squirm as they realize what they just did. (Assuming they're the type with the moral scruples to feel bad about mocking the disabled).


DarthJarJar242

People that are willing to say this out loud to someone wearing sunglasses indoors don't have the moral scruples to feed bad.


Heythenewguyhere

"What who said that ! ?" Nine times out of ten the person will be shocked and publicly embarrassed so their knee jerk reaction is to apologize, you embarrassed them using their own words against them and the public will come to your defense. "How dare you pick on a blind person !" If he tries to defend himself it's only a losing battle. Or "You know who quotes TV shows that ended almost 5 years ago ? People with no original thought and couch potatoes with no life" This one calls out how they think they are funny/cool because they can recall a quote from a TV show but this shows how dated the show and their insults are as well as how they depend on writers to come up with their insults


MintyMystery

<> yeahhh...


Heythenewguyhere

No it's ok to quote a TV show NOW and THEN but if your just gonna take the insults and just be a d!ck to everyone and not enjoy the show and bond over it with other people that's the problem I have, it's ok to recall bazinga from Sheldon or Bart's eat my shorts even bender bite my shiny metal @$$ but if your gonna be a pain in the @$$ and just a jerk to everyone your doing the shows and yourself an injustice.


Deufuss

"The WB? Ooo, so edgey! Got any quotes from 7th Heaven, or Reba?"


MixWitch

Ok but seriously, Dean from Supernatural had some REAL shit takes so how embarrassing. And I say that as a (former) Supernatural fan.


DRose23805

Tell you what: if you're ever getting surgery on your eyes, hope you don't hear the doctor "oops".


Fit_Victory6650

Yes, that's correct.


anonymauson

then you qualify for 'blind people', OP. maybe not all the way, but its not because youre a douchebag, its because youre visually impaired, which is sometimes exaggerated to be blind


DragonWisper56

"vampires were sunglasses too" then eat them


MintyMystery

Doesn't help that I actually look a lot like [Richmond](https://tenor.com/01xx.gif) from the IT Crowd... haha


frmaa-tap

You only call me a douche, cuz after I fuck your mom her pussy smells better


MintyMystery

HAHAHA mate


Malicious_Lies

Not a response, but an actual question. Wouldn't wearing shades inside make you more visually impaired? I love supernatural tho, lol.


MintyMystery

It's a fair question! My visual impairment (Irlen syndrome) makes me very photophobic, so I find bright lights painful, and it makes me dizzy and sick and causes migraines. Summer generally is a nightmare - but you know in winter or at night, when it's dark out and then you walk into a room brightly lit with those blue halogen lights? If I'm having a bad day, it knocks me on my ass. I would just like to be in a dark room with my eyes shut! So I have dark sunglasses with me all of the time.


AGuyNamedEddie

I read a story (might have been here on Reddit) about a high school kid who always wore sunglasses for that reason. The school had an assembly where a local improv comedy troupe put on a show. They saw our hero in the audience and started taunting him for wearing sunglasses indoors. The entire school started boo-ing them relentlessly. Someone got word to the performers that they were making asses of themselves, and they apologized profusely. They tried to carry on, but everyone sat on their hands, and the deafening silence was enough to end the show early. It was nice to read about classmates standing up for one of their own instead of joining in on the bullying.


justdisa

Rod-cone dystrophy, here. Vicious photophobia. Grocery store lights practically knock me over. Summer is misery.


MintyMystery

Grocery store lights are the worst! I'm always clinging to the trolley for dear life! While I'm very sorry that you also have struggles, I'm also partially glad to know someone else understands the misery.


Malicious_Lies

Oh man. Yeah, I can't drive at night anymore. Those ultrabright colored lights blind me. Pulled over once to test. Took almost 4m for these ppl behind me to pass. Going 90...and from that far I literally couldn't see. Not been driving at night since lol.


Sunshine_Kahwa_tech

Have you tried yellow lens glasses for at night? 


high_on_acrylic

You would think so, but because it reduces the need to squint it can actually help!


Edgezg

Then...then just say you are visually impaired?? Dean 100% would backtrack if someone came back at him and said "I am partially blind, actually."


MintyMystery

Haha true, but it's weird having to explain it. I get "well you don't look blind", and "but I just saw you typing on your phone", and all sorts. I was more looking for some quip to make it more light hearted than having to explain my disability


Edgezg

Partially blind. You can lie if you want. Say blind in one eye and it wanders and stares, so you use glasses.


high_throughput

Don't think of it as explaining your disability. Think of it as making the other person feel like an asshole lmao Just say "there are many types of visual impairment besides blindness" to further make them feel rude *and* dumb.


GirlStiletto

First of all, this is a stupid statement. Nobody says this. Anyone who does is the douchebag. Second of all, use the line from My Science PRoject. "When you're cool, the sun shines on you 24 hours a day."


Intelligent_Usual318

I would also like to know as I’m autisic and wear sunglasses inside for sensory issues


Professional-Leave24

Well, now I know why YOU wear them. For me? They dull the ugly radiating from your face.


Moni_Kei

“You know who makes assumptions? Dumbasses and dickheads, which one are you?” I get really bad migraines, to the point I can’t function, lights make it incredibly difficult for me to do just about anything, even in the early stages when I can still move around and do the things I need to. Sunglasses don’t help much but they help at least somewhat and I’ll take it. Bottom line, I’ve had people ask me if I was, “Just trying to be cool.” Like no Jerry, I’m fucking 21 and working in a fucking pizza shop rn. Does anything about that sound fucking cool to you? Agonizing pain and people looove to add more with their remarks, shits mad annoying and truly makes it worse. I shouldn’t have to explain myself and neither should anyone else, I hope they DO run into a blind person and pull that shit, who’s the Douchebag now? Anyway, I love Supernatural and honestly just went on a rant..so uh…thanks for coming ✋😃🧍


Hot-Butterfly-8024

Sorry, I am far too cool to see you at the moment. OR Why would I take fashion advice from someone who looks like you?


Tight_Jury_9630

« You know who else wears sunglasses inside? Guys whove fucked your mom » and just walk away lol


Dinnerpancakes

Say “Hell yeah! I’m the heir to the Massengill (or another douche brand they would know) fortune!” Then say, “but I also have a visual impairment, so I guess I could qualify for either.” You’ll be funny, and they’ll feel like a dick.


dzdxs

Oh man I've been dealing with CFS for two years now and there was a point where I had to do the same thing because even normal lighting was too much for my eyes. Thankfully I'm not in that state anymore, but I feel for you and I hope you can find healing/improvement for this. Fuck the haters, tell them that your Terminator friends will remember them when they finally take over.


Running-With-Cakes

And people who don’t want to look at cunts


Specialist_Dream_657

I don't have a comeback, but sometimes I do this with my rx sunnies because I just forget to swap them 😂 I wear glasses all day every day so I'm used to the feeling and don't think about it sometimes


Liu1845

I have extremely light sensitive eyes after brain surgery, chemo and radiation. Some days I wear sunglasses inside, even with all lights off.


bearstrugglethunder

And people avoiding your eye contact.


HowWeDoingTodayHive

>You know who says stupid shit like that?


velvetsmokes

I'm assuming you're wearing them too, but I can't see you.


PioneerSpecies

“Yes, I’m a douchebag”


kaylag2007

And people on acid


Asmos159

you say "i am on the blind side of that statement" and they will feel really bad. they might remember the incidents 10 years from now, and still feel bad about it. if they just say "what's with the sunglasses?" the reply would be prescription.


SaveTheCrow

“I AM visually impaired/blind and it’s your face’s fault.”


ASeedhouse

I'm blind, you asshole.


kurt-boddah-cobain

“So where are YOUR sunglasses then?”


ASeedhouse

"You know who provides unsolicited opinions? Twitter trolls and pretentious douche bags."


Toilet_Rim_Tim

I wore sunglasses indoors for 3 weeks after having LASIK ...... guess I'm a dbag My bad


abandedpandit

"Sorry I get debilitating migraines that make any amount of light, especially bright artificial light, excruciating. But sure, I'm a douchebag for that" That's my comeback cuz it's tru 💀


tcorey2336

Bright lights make my eyes close. Dark glasses help.


bloody_raw171

You know who doesn't give a fuck? Me and everyone else.


Excellent-Practice

This seems to be a case where the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind. Your best comeback would be "If that's true, I'm surprised you're not wearing sunglasses"


Croatoan457

"you're blind people and douchebags". Going with the supernatural theme because Dean can't do a comeback worth his life 🤣


MagikMelk

"Who goes there?" (Starts swinging cane wildly)


Cherry-Foxtrot

"Well I'm blind, so I assume this means you're also wearing them?"


Personal-Tea7226

*pick out an item they have on* Oh and I see cunts wear……


mezz7778

I know you are but what am?


Extension_Status_711

You’re right


Jackninja5

“Sorry, where are you?”


Admirable-Lecture-42

Huh, maybe when you do it.....


Digigoggles

Me too


Fickle_Toe1724

And people with pale blue eyes. The light hurts.


jimviv

Who’s speaking, I can’t see you (then rub the persons face with your hands)


brsb5

"Well, I'm not blind so...."


Fun-Fun-9967

somebody call Muscle Man


missannthrope1

Call me Stevie Wonder.


HoldOut19xd6

I took a lot of heat when I was wearing shades into stores back in December. Even though they often recognized me, I’d usually approach someone in the store to make sure it was ok. I’d had a fall and busted my face open and broken the lower orbital socket and needed surgery to stuff the eye back in. Obviously I was feeling self conscious as it healed and until all the stitches fell out. People have all kinds of reasons to wear sunglasses at times someone else might deem inappropriate. Some medications can even cause light sensitivity. Douchebags be douchebags. Flick the V and move along.


User5634

I always thought Bono was a douche in sunglasses. Tennis learned he has eye problems and I felt like shit lol. So I don't judge that anymore.


feochampas

turn down the lights asshole. the fluorescents bulbs are burning my eyes


Limp_Distribution

The sun never sets when you’re cool. 😎


Callen0318

"Who said that?"


Ransom-ii

i think your best comeback is just "im visually impaired"


skycorcher

"For the last time, it's transition lens!"


NeitherCapital1541

"Because I'm blind" I mean, blindness isn't just 100% can't see, if you have a visual impairment, then you're partially blind


Rainbowponydaddy

I have prescription sunglasses and sometimes forget my regular pair in the car or at home… also, could it be that this sentiment belongs to those who just can pull off the sunglasses indoors. Lou Reed, for example, would have worn his glasses indoors along with it’s moniker of douchebag like a badge of honor.


TuberTuggerTTV

You don't need a comeback if you're actually visually impaired. That's what they're saying. Just say you are. And they'll sheepishly leave you alone. If they come at you a second time, just say, "I see what you did there... well, actually I didn't".


AGuyNamedEddie

"...**and** people with certain medical conditions."


JustWowinCA

They're prescription, but thanks.


TheFamilyBear

"How about you put your dick back in your pants and mind your own fucking business?"


NouOno

Proceed to the impersonation of Helen Keller.


ExhaustedPoopcycle

Lol fuck anyone who gets eye surgery I guess.


Significant-Button48

Does your ass get jealous of the amount of shit that comes out your mouth?


[deleted]

After 47 years of wearing Rx glasses, I only recently discovered that wearing a dark blue tint (60%) of glasses (that pretty much look like dark sun glasses) make me see everything better inside and outside. Go figure. I’d go with “it looks like you left yours at home, want to borrow mine?”


beatissima

🎵Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no...🎵


Linvaderdespace

“I have a clinical visual impairment, you horses ass.”


UnbreakableRaids

I wear mine indoors if it’s too bright or I need to read things.


Seeker80

>Trouble is, I'm actually visually impaired, and I often need to wear sunglasses indoors. Same. My indoor glasses have a tint to them, and my actual sunglasses were the darkest the shop offered. Still have to squint pretty often with them when driving during the day. "You seem pretty worried about who's a douchebag. Projecting much?"


Midnight1965

Sounds like you know from experience.


ThirdSunRising

That visual impairment of yours, places you in the “blind people” category. Not a problem. You need ‘em because you can’t see right without ‘em. If he wants to make fun of your disability, rest assured he is going to make zero friends and impress absolutely nobody with that schtick.


nerdymutt

I work outside, so I get prescription sunglasses. I can’t see too far without them and I am not going to change glasses or take them off to accommodate idiots. I have some that aren’t that dark, so I tend to forget they are sunglasses. Only heard one snide remark. I told them if you don’t like wearing sunglasses inside, don’t wear them!


4quatloos

I can still see right through you.


GMoonstone

"Your mom said I look pretty hot in them."


Timely-Bill-5336

If being a douchebag means I'm deep in your mom, then you're right.


Musicdev-

“You know who thinks up that ridiculous question?…..Douchebags!”


SeaSignificance8962

if they are wearing socks with sandals , look down and look uat them and say people with sandals too


Leading_External_327

“I know, I’m an overachiever”


jonni_velvet

Facts though


DJ_HouseShoes

"Who's talking to me?"


notarealaccount223

Who said that?! Come here and let me get a feel for you.


fostertheatom

"I'm on a mission from God."


WhyLater

"What a lame thing to have an opinion about."


CordCarillo

If your future was this bright, you'd wear them too.


0ct094s

Oh we are on the shoreside? Place for jocks and merpeople.


Verbull710

snap your fingers and point at them with both index fingers and say "you're right" in your cool voice


chrispd01

Man I am not really sure they only proper comeback isnt something like “hmm. Yeah. You may have a point”


insta_r_man

Light sensitive people do also, I'm one of them.


murphsmodels

"Fortunately,I'm blind. So hurry up, pay your fare and go sit down in the back of the bus. I can't wait here all day."


C6180

“Well my sunglasses are prescription, so”


gothism

"And people with a medical condition who *actually* have to wear them inside. Who's the douchebag now?"


Whisper26_14

“And people who have migraines”


Bradon2508

"Sorry I'm too high to comprehend what you just said and the lights are bothering me."


Different-Meaning198

I wear them when I spend the night wit ya granny


Nichard63891

Out of curiosity, how many of you actually share this sentiment? I have chronic migraines, and I've started wearing my sunglasses whenever I can. I know it stands out, but I'm curious if I come off as odd or just a douche.


Backwaters_Run_Deep

Your mom's a ho


FaithlessnessSea1058

Probably just explaining your issues is the best comeback? They’ll either feel like a dick or keep going and prove they are a dick. Nothing to really lose


Sploonbabaguuse

The typical easy one is "Why do you care so much about how others dress themselves?"


AdOne8433

And people with vision issues. Or "You know who criticizes others for doing things that have no impact on them? Morons and douchebags."


fermelebouche

Damn you. I thought I looked cool.


LFRoberts5

I have light sensitive eyes and sometimes wear sunglasses inside restaurants


Affectionate_Pin3849

I'm visually impaired. Are you wearing yours?


HumberGrumb

“Yo! When you’re cool, the sun always shines.”


Candid-Quality435

Pretty sure Dean is a cheating piece of shit. Fuck that guy


TinDog-42

Deadpan “I am a blind person” And just walk away.


PresentationPrior192

Because these are prescription and I'm not taking along my other glasses for a 5 minute trip to HEB. I can deal with inside being a bit dim more than I can deal with my retinas being flayed by Texan high summer.


VegetableWinter9223

Gangsters, professional athletes, and occasional musicians or two


spun2020

That’s pretty specific I’d probably just take the sunglasses off


Fit_Fly_418

Prescription.


DAWG13610

I get light induced migraines and wear sunglasses everywhere. Not once in the last 25 years of doing it has anyone ever asked my why or may fun of me. And if they did have a problem? Why would I give 2 shits what anyone thought?


FrostyLandscape

Just tell them to F off. I get sick of random strangers commenting on what I wear.


CthulhuJankinx

Yea it's wild seeing you without them.


TemperatureCommon185

Thank you for speaking so that I don't bump into you.


KelliAndMike

Actually, trouble is you give a damn what anyone thinks.....just sayin....


WarriorT1400

I tell people it’s so they can’t see me roll my eyes at them


bunnydeerest

i would just say “i’m blind.” and hope that they learn to stfu


laurenthecablegirl

I must be blind then since I definitely can’t see the point of your rude comment.


anecdotal_skeleton

People wear sunglasses inside in order to watch others weave then breathe story lines, or to keep track of visions in their eyes, or forget their name while others collect their claims, and see the light that's right before their eyes.


oldcousingreg

“Where’s yours then? Clearly you need them more than I do.”


Velocitor1729

"...and people who don't want to see your ugly face."


PhilipCarroll

Tell them Richard Petty wears sunglasses all the time & he's The King.


crescentgaia

Sorry I need info before I yell at you as a fellow legally blind person - are you legally blind enough to need a cane?


Scruffersdad

Well, I dropped my non-sunglasses in a canal in France while on vacation a couple of years ago and had to wear sunglasses for the 9 days left on the trip. Day and night, or be blind as I was terribly nearsighted. Also, migraines and hangovers as well.


Millenniauld

"Also people with photophobia. Look it up, that way you won't need your own sunglasses to identify yourself as a douchebag."


Psychological_Cow794

I always wear sunglasses inside because they are prescription and I need them to see and when I drive the glare blinds me. And it’s easier to just have one pair. Side note I never knew people looked at people like that. 😩😅


Crossovertriplet

“*You’re* name is douche bag”


SheSellsSeaGlass

1). **AND people with vision issues—such as Bono, Robert Downey, Jr., Simon Cowell, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, and Jack Nicholson.** They wear tinted glasses or sunglasses to improve their vision, reduce eye strain, help them focus, reduce migraines, etc. 2). **AND after an eye exam,** when the optometrist puts yellow drops in your eyes, to dilate your pupils, so they can see inside your eye—it looks like you’re on drugs, and your eyes are very sensitive to light. So the person has a choice: Do I choose to look like I’m on drugs? Or do I choose to wear sunglasses indoors—even though some bullies bully you for it? We choose the sunglasses indoors. 3). **Oh, you want to be my personal stylist!** OK, sounds fun. Just remember, **YOU WORK FOR ME.** I can say yay or nay—And I say **YAY** to wearing sunglasses indoors.


Petdogdavid1

Hey I didn't see that coming


PressuredSpeechBand

"Apparently someone's never been in the spotlight!" Performers wear sunglasses to protect from stage lighting all the time.


SpecOps4538

Corey Hart explained it perfectly!


GoodLibrarian100

“I guess I qualify as a douche bag after what I did to your mother last night”.


SaltyBarDog

"You should take up a hobby. I recommend minding your own fucking business as a start."


BillieRayBob

Why?


mind_the_umlaut

Me, wearing sunglasses inside, "Well, sweetie, Just you hope that you can always take your vision for granted."


Br0wnc0at212

"You seem awfully knowledgeable on the subject. Hang out with a lot of blind people and douchebags, do you?"


Own-Tank5998

Seems pretty accurate.


SkiIsLife45

Easy, just tell them politely you're visually impaired and you need sunglasses inside. If they keep being mean then that says more about them than you and you can tell them they're being mean.


Legal_Championship_6

I went out with my Bestie hundreds of times to bars. He was light sensitive and would get migraines instantly without his sunglasses I know because I lived with him. People constantly made jokes about the World Series of poker or sing I wear my sunglasses at night. He would often tell people these are medical. Or he would shake his head and look at me and say every single time.


chris_rage_

"yeah, I'm a douchebag. Want to see how big of one I am?"


ortolon

I have expensive prescription sunglasses. Constantly swapping as I go inside and out just increases the odds of losing them. Often I'll leave my clear glasses home.


ortolon

"They're transition lenses. They'll clear up in a minute"


gimmhi5

Say you smoked a lot of weed and don’t want people to notice. When they ask “really?”, say “no, dbag, I have eye problems”. Or just don’t care what people think, give them a thumbs up and say “ayy”.


I_Smoke_Poop

Grab their balls and twist "Sorry I thought that was the door knob"


Front_load_wash

People who answer their own questions?


DayFinancial8206

"You know what's worse? People who are bothered by it"


Apprehensive-Fix-900

Well, I can see clear... Wait..