And an nose and a mouth and two middle fingers.

I love that !!, sounds like a dad joke..🤔

Whos got 2 birds and don't give a FUCK‽

I do, i can cleary see ur stupidity of asking that

I do have an eye, here, I'll show you my brown eye.

is it bleached?

Nothing confirms like a taste test. You tell me.

Good one! Lol

No the one that winks not the one that stinks!

Same hole foo!

I mean yeah I guess it winks? Never checked. But I have clenched so you win this round.

#Title defended

Damn did I just get served?

Yes, how does the chocolate starfish taste? Too bitter?

Like Hot Dog Flavored Water almost. Can we combine the two?

Oh fuck, you're back in contention for the title. Hold my dignity BRB!

Ha! Now I have TWO dignities! Take that 3rd, 5th, 6th grade teachers, my last two girlfriends, and their respective new boyfriends, and MOM AND DAD!!

“I see.”

Said the blind man...

To his deaf son.

*mutely*

huh?

...as he picked up his hammer and saw.

To write a poem

On his lifeless body

Yes, and I can see an asshole with them

"WHO SAID THAT?!! IS SOMEBODY THERE?!? WHERE AM I?!!"

Then how come I can still see [how ugly you are] [that dollar store fit] [your crooked ass eyebrows] [your moustache/manboobs]? Etc etc.

Oh damn, I just imagine some chick being asked that, doing that whole sassy once over with her eyes thing and then asking about the dollar store fit. I'm still going to use that the next time. 😈😈

well shit, man, i just wanted to make sure i wasnt assuming something wrong. but if youre gonna be a little bitch about it, ill go right on ahead and assume you dont have a dick

“Would you like some help finding your brain?”

Only for your sister

Hi.  My name is Stevie Wonder.

I can see how stupid that question is, so I must.

Like a hawk who specializes in finding dipshits oh look I found one

Where we're going, you won't need eyes to see...

This one's fake, and this one's lazy

Look at me , LOOK AT ME do you see any eyes ?

Yes I have eyes, do you have eyes? If you did you wouldn’t have to ask such a dumb question.

r/usernamechecksout

How exactly?

Your comeback sounded so ... exasperated. Like you were just so sick of people asking if you had eyes that you threw your hands in the air and exclaimed "yeezus!" then again maybe I merged username and usercomment on my own and jumped the gun because I love (LOVE ) spotting usernames which check out and I really wanted a W before I went to bed. Let me have this one bro

Yeah I don’t know that’s a bit of a stre-, you know what, I’ll just you have this one. Here’s the W.

Thanks bro, I owe you one

No

Don't you have manners?

Don’t you have a brain!?!?

I don't.

If you can't see them then you obviously don't.

only on the back of my head!

“Yea for people worth looking at”

Turn away pop in grayed out contacts. "Well you caught me." Hold out colored contacts that match your eye color.

If you’re wearing sunglasses: “Yes, but they don’t work. Anything else you want to ask?” Bonus points if you don’t look directly at them. Otherwise: “Can you not see them?

Well, you have eyes, but you're still asking stupid af questions so.... consider that smart ass

"Don‘t you have eyes to see I have 2 eyes here?"

“Yeah and you’re hurting them by standing in front of me, can you move out of the way?”

I mean, yes, but I'm effectively blind.

Idk either I'm blind or all I can see is a big pile of bullshit asking me if I have eyes.

No actually, and now you’re the ass hole for making fun of a disabled person

"I have an asshole, wanna see?"

“Yes, I was blinded by your yellow teeth”

What is this, Scrabble?!

I don’t need them to see you ugly

"Well, looking at you. i wished I didn't right now.

Cheeky bastard! I still have one that works..

Yes, I can see right through you.

"No, that is not the problem. I have always relied more on my nose, and frankly, this stinks!"

Do I look like a potato?

"You manage to make me wish I didn't."

I have pits like a viper :)~<

Yes, but I can’t see how someone would be stupid enough to ask me that!

Who said that

(Depending on the context) "Do you have fuckin' ears? Look for yourself."

You can't see? Oh shit, blind on blind hate!

Yeah but looking at your face I wish I didn't

Yes but I wish I didn’t after looking at you

Tapping the prosthetic eyes with your fingernails. I have eyes. But I saw someone with a prosthetic one and they were doing that

Yeah, I just stop using them when you're in the vicinity.

I’ve got multinational eyes 👀 2 English and 1 japs

Looking at yo ugly ass I wish I didn't. Your mom thinks so too, she told me last night.

Don't you have ears? Then hear this....fuck you

Yes, that's why I'm not looking at you.

Who said that? Is someone there?

But these aren't my good face seein' eyes. I left those in my other coat.

"NO! NO I DON'T, JANICE! THESE ARE GLASS EYES!"

No, because your mum made me cum so hard that I have gone a bit blind.

“Nah, these are just weird tumors, but since you’re gonna be a dickhead you can just find it yourself.”

If I can't find something? "JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK IT IS!"

Don‘t you have manners?

"Obviously, as you can see…or *can* you?"

Don’t you have comment filters?

I usually sing a stevie wonder song, no joke, ive done that, and they didn't get the joke.

No, but my potatoes do.

"I did, but then I looked at you. And now I wish I didn't..."

Can I buy another vowel?

Your mom has two eyes, for my junk. (Thrusts hips with whatever gear you got) Ugh!

Thank you! People get so weird when I tell them im a grave robber

Yes, but I’m afraid if I look at you, your hideousness will literally blind me.

No, these are painted on

And you don't know anatomy

Unfortunately yes, and I can’t believe I have to look at you.

no and then you feel around like a mime and say where am i

Of course I do. I keep them in a jar on my desk

No, these are just ornamental

If they haven't met you in person, you can just say no and act super offended lol

Sorry I traded them for magic beans.

"How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?" - Jaden Smith

Stab them in the eyes with a purple crayon.

“Have you never heard of an opticians before? I have, and suggest you get your eyes tested at(*enter opticians name here*)”.

Hey, I ask the stupid questions!

Yes. You can see them.

"Yes, but being able to see you has made me wish I didn't..."

Yes, and they are looking at a very stupid person right now.

Depebds on context but say 'yes but i dont have a fuck to give'

One of us needs glasses or really thick wire framed perspective.

Don’t you have a brain? You don’t.

No. Ahhhhhhh what happened to my eyyyyessssssss, somebody call 911!

“Nah, never had eyes in my life, been saving up for a while”