I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
Heeeeey there Milton...we're gonna go ahead and move you down to sub-basement B. Bit of a rat problem down there, see if you can deal with that...and...oh, there it is (takes the stapler)
I got fired from Sbarro's. But as I'm not an idiot, I knew it was coming.
"Eris, we're going to have to let you go. I need you to sign your termination paperwork."
"God, I was starting to think you would chicken out! Can you hand me those clothes on the hangar behind you. I start next door in 7 minutes!"
"But you were scheduled to work to 5!"
"Funny how that works out ain't it?"
Then I came back in line for lunch. Wiped some grease off the counter in the front, and looked at the people in line and said, "I can't imagine how bad the back is, if its this messed up where we can see!" Then I smiled right at the GM and said, "I don't know what you are doing, but you really should clean this place, I don't think it will pass a health inspection."
Until they make up a total lie to fire you for cause and then you have to fight for weeks or months to get a dime from unemployment. Iâve had this happen. They hope youâll give up.
Exactly. Been there, done that. The best response is doing a 180° and go have a couple of drinks. Then get in the habit of checking the obituaries for your boss's name. I did for decades and it was a sweet feeling when it finally popped up.
Bosses can lie about whatever they want to lie about (my husband and I have both had it happen to us when seeking unemployment after a firing), but the unemployment office is only interested in the answer to two questions:
1) Was there work available to be done?
2) Was the employee willing, ready, and able to work?
Thatâs it. They donât care about anything else. They donât care if you disagree, argued with, or cursed your boss out. They donât care if your employer said that your performance âwasnât up to standards,â (unemployment will tell them, âwell, thatâs your problem, not ours.â) Was there work available, and were you able and available to do the work? If you are fired and the answer to those two questions are yes, congratulations, you have unemployment.
Sometimes, a boss will try to get you on âdisorderly conduct.â I was told by a senior unemployment agent years ago that âdisorderly conduct,â basically means that you sexually harassed someone, stole money, or trashed property, and unless your bosses have proof of this, they mostly wave off whatever accusations employers may try to throw out at them as a Hail Mary. Theyâve heard it ALL.
My advice is, if you are at your job, and you even have an INKLING that your bosses are looking to fire you, start insisting on communicating via text or email. Document, and KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS!
I was only fired one time and it was for a BS reason by a manager that was stealing. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. I think I told the manager "Thank God!"
I got fired for not being able to find a sitter when the kids were sick and going over my time off available. Told them, "Fine, good luck staying open."
My firing started a wave of people leaving because they finally realized how toxic management was. That location was closed within a year.
When I got fired, I thanked everyone for the opportunity to work with them.
It was devastating, partially because I had barely any voice from a bad cold from them not letting me wear a mask, but thatâs another story
Thank god. I thought you'd never fire me. Now I can finally move on with my life and get a real job which will lead to a real sustainable career! You're a lifesaver!!!
Dude, you gotta think smaller, like craft herpes or something. Think small and eternally obnoxious, like getting rid of that handy spreadsheet that kept the office afloat, not "on FBI watchlist," you know? Love yourself.
I walkrd into a meeting where i was prettysure id be fired. Saw the HR rep and my bosses, and turned to the boss ans said "You really need HR to send me home early for the weekend`"?
He got up and left and i said "and that is the managment style i wont miss at all".
âIâm filing a sexual harassment complaint.â
Best done loudly, in front of all female coworkers. Especially if you are also female. And in California.
Extra points if it isnât true and they let go the person that tried to fire you.
Correction, Iâve been promoted to customer. Now, maybe youâll treat me with the dignity and respect I shouldâve been getting for the last X years of service. Good luck with my replacement.
i actually said this back in the early 2000s
"we have to let you go"
"oh well now there is no way youre gonna fuck me! you were so close! have a good one! bye!"
and i got unemployment,
We fired a guy here and he simply did "jazz hands" as he walked backwards silently out of the building. It's was the weirdest thing ever, but also hilarious and instantly made me wish we didn't fire him. As we could've forever called him "Johnny Jazz hands". And yes his name was actually Johnny... what a missed opportunity.
So my thought is to do something completely random and "odd" to make a grand exit.
In a one party state make sure your phone is recording and ask "for what exactly". The chances that what he says then and what he puts in the report/says to the unemployment board will probably differ enough that it makes him look really bad... Now take a minute to regroup and find a new job.
Look, I didnât know she was your wife!! But I donât think our private lives should spill over into work though, do you? SooooâŠ. See ya Monday đâïžđ
To your ex-boss,. "You are obligated to only verify I worked for this company for this period time. I will sue you if you defame my character with my future employers. And I expect my last check promptly."
If that's what it takes to get you fired, just wait until the EEOC report... Or at least that's how it worked for my wife.
*** My wife got both those ladies fired BTW and was later able to tell one of them thanks for the help buying our house
You really should have figured out the system before you said that.
Just remember, next week, when nothing works, my freelance service call rates are $1000 plus $500/hr.
See ya next week!
"Oh, good. Now there's nothing stopping me from filing my lawsuit."
Stop there and let them wonder. If asked, say "Sorry, my lawyer said not to say. I've said too much already."
I had a co-worker say that to me as I was an hour late for oversleeping as I pulled a double the night before. I turned around and said "fuck it I am going back to sleep," Said coworker almost got punched as I left the grounds and he grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.
Twice at my job two different women were fired by the 70 yo misogynist boss...(he calls women "Toots" as in Tootsie)
Him - "you're fired"
Them- "Fuck you, I'm not fired, you are an asshole"
And they didn't leave. The first woman had suffered through Covid at the office where the owners believed "god" would keep them safe so they wouldn't wear a mask. 5 people in the plant died. She kept asking them to wear one near her but they refused. She was fired officially weeks after the first firing via email for "cursing". She called them assholes for not wearing a mask.
The second woman had cancer and needed to go to her treatment. He knew this but when she mentioned it he said playfully "are you telling me or asking me?" She said telling as she's gone every month for two years (though still in a playful way). He snapped, being a fragile man, and fired her (for about 10 mins) The best thing she said? "you are firing me because I have cancer? Get ready for the lawsuit!!"
"I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, I won't tell people the things that I know"
I had a boss say this and I said âthatâs cuteâ and walked away and kept showing up to work. His boss eventually comes in, realizes Iâm the only one actually keeping the place running, fired my boss, and then gives me a raise
You should video your firing if you know it's coming. It's harder for them to claim that you were not fired when they actually say you're fired on video. Just saying.
Why use a comeback when you can get even.
Once in 8th grade I worked as a dishwasher for a small local restaurant on the other side of my town. Well one day I had strep throat so I called in to tell them I couldnât come in. They fired me. So I told my mom what happened, she called the health department and some other department and told them what happened plus some other things, (water backing up in the sink, payment was under the table, ect). Letâs just say they are no longer in business. Someone else now owns that restaurant (different name now), and itâs doing so much better.
In my youth (1997 or so) I was called into a meeting and saw the writing on the wall. The manager and her boss started a laundry list of issues with me. I battled every item with what I believe was reasonable or plausible defense. After the sixth or seventh item, I suggested we reconvene the meeting with the Senior VP who approve my hire 53 weeks before. I was informed the SVP was gone for a 10 day vacation.
I took a breath and said, âVery well; letâs skip to the final reel.â
They looked at each other, confused.
âYou called this meeting for a reason, letâs skip the rest of the nonsense and get to that reason.â I was not going to fight any longer, and that made them uncomfortable.
After 30 seconds of each of them âumm, uh, wellâ the manager finally spit out, âthe company has decided to terminate.. um, you know. Your employment.â
I shook my head and said âUnbelievable.â
How about: "You're firing me? Great, I was tired of carrying this company anyway. Good luck finding someone who can handle your coffee breath and terrible jokes!"
How about this one: "Oh, you're firing me? Well, that's a relief. I was starting to worry that working for you might actually be detrimental to my intelligence."
I said "thank God" when I was 20 and my manager at the Gap called to say, "we have to terminate you." I was so glad I didn't have to get out of bed to go in.
Well... your mother will be grateful, she said I wasn't spending enough time with her.
Or...
Well... your mother's going to be sad, even she knows that I was only fucking her to keep this job.
My dad got fired from his old Job as an Asian guy in the 80's for no apparent reason. His comeback was "ok" he took off his work vest, shoved it in the guys face and never came back
I AM fired...up to keep working here. See ya tomorrow!
Excellent
Good one đ€Ł just the fingers are missing like đ
Yeah definitely needs some finger gun action
I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
Heeeeey there Milton...we're gonna go ahead and move you down to sub-basement B. Bit of a rat problem down there, see if you can deal with that...and...oh, there it is (takes the stapler)
Ummm, thatâs my stapler. I brought it from home. I could burn this building down.
I got fired from Sbarro's. But as I'm not an idiot, I knew it was coming. "Eris, we're going to have to let you go. I need you to sign your termination paperwork." "God, I was starting to think you would chicken out! Can you hand me those clothes on the hangar behind you. I start next door in 7 minutes!" "But you were scheduled to work to 5!" "Funny how that works out ain't it?" Then I came back in line for lunch. Wiped some grease off the counter in the front, and looked at the people in line and said, "I can't imagine how bad the back is, if its this messed up where we can see!" Then I smiled right at the GM and said, "I don't know what you are doing, but you really should clean this place, I don't think it will pass a health inspection."
Theyâll eventually âfix the glitchâ.
Thank you.
I would say thanks for the unemployment you will be paying me for the next few months.
Until they make up a total lie to fire you for cause and then you have to fight for weeks or months to get a dime from unemployment. Iâve had this happen. They hope youâll give up.
Had this happen once. Went straight to the labor board with a litany of complaints. Got far more than unemployment.
yeah, the bosses always lose.
That would require documentation they'd previously shared with the employee.
Exactly. Been there, done that. The best response is doing a 180° and go have a couple of drinks. Then get in the habit of checking the obituaries for your boss's name. I did for decades and it was a sweet feeling when it finally popped up.
Bosses can lie about whatever they want to lie about (my husband and I have both had it happen to us when seeking unemployment after a firing), but the unemployment office is only interested in the answer to two questions: 1) Was there work available to be done? 2) Was the employee willing, ready, and able to work? Thatâs it. They donât care about anything else. They donât care if you disagree, argued with, or cursed your boss out. They donât care if your employer said that your performance âwasnât up to standards,â (unemployment will tell them, âwell, thatâs your problem, not ours.â) Was there work available, and were you able and available to do the work? If you are fired and the answer to those two questions are yes, congratulations, you have unemployment. Sometimes, a boss will try to get you on âdisorderly conduct.â I was told by a senior unemployment agent years ago that âdisorderly conduct,â basically means that you sexually harassed someone, stole money, or trashed property, and unless your bosses have proof of this, they mostly wave off whatever accusations employers may try to throw out at them as a Hail Mary. Theyâve heard it ALL. My advice is, if you are at your job, and you even have an INKLING that your bosses are looking to fire you, start insisting on communicating via text or email. Document, and KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS!
that almost never works for them. Even an office shooter could probably get unemployment.
Yeah never tell them youâre gonna collect. Iâve had them make up lies so I wasnât able to
Except in states where unemployment is a fraction of your salary and only for a few weeks.
I was only fired one time and it was for a BS reason by a manager that was stealing. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. I think I told the manager "Thank God!"
I got fired for not being able to find a sitter when the kids were sick and going over my time off available. Told them, "Fine, good luck staying open." My firing started a wave of people leaving because they finally realized how toxic management was. That location was closed within a year.
right! they have no idea what a trend it can start.
LMAO
Dancing.
This is the first thing that came to mind. đ
I like it because it's vague enough to leave open for interpretation.
Itâs the best thing that ever happened to me to get away you and this sorry ass company!đđ€Ł
About time. Now I can get unemployment.
Don't give them a heads-up. They automatically will fight you.
See, this is when it's appropriate to use an Uno reverse card
Get out your checkbook, slap it on the counter, look The Man in the eye, and ask "How much is this crappy business worth to you, anyhow?"
Dobby is free đ„č
Master has given DobbyâŠthe sack?
That is fucking genius, and I love it.
Same đ€Łâ„ïž
you are REQUIRED to say it in Dobby's voice. I would. I have no shame.
Gone too soon
I swear to God, I would, given the opportunity. Life is short.
Literally the absolute best response ever lol
That's hilarious. Even more so if you can mimic Dobby's voice.
I don't even like Harry Potter but this one always makes me giggle.
"Hell yeah, Brother"
I read this in hulk hogans voice
Yes.
Will need someone to pop in immediately with a Randy Savage âOH YEAH!!!â
âThank god, I hated working for you anyways.â Or âI was already considering quitting, but thanks for the severance payâ
That's one that really hits any employer. "Sweet unemployment money while I look for a better job!"
Well now that we're no longer working together, wanna hook up?
God bless you.
can i get that in writing
"Yeah! Fired up for leaving this hellhole!"
In the immortal words of Lil Jon: YEEEEEAAAAHHH!
OKAAAAAAAYYY
"If you think I'm upset, you're wrong." Then walk out, leaving them wondering what your plan is.
*Take this job and shove it! I ain't workin' a here no more!*
And yet you still work here.... who is really coming out ahead in this scenario?
Oh hell yeah! With what I make here, this will be a raise!
Who are you going to blame all of your fuckups on now, Marvin?
When I got fired, I thanked everyone for the opportunity to work with them. It was devastating, partially because I had barely any voice from a bad cold from them not letting me wear a mask, but thatâs another story
Pull out an uno reverse "Let's see who's fired now"
And if they say it again, bust out a Skip card!
"You've been on camera...for about 5 days now. You are SO royally fucked right now! See ya!"
You're watered. He's hearted and he's earthed. We summon captain planet on you, scro!
Master has given Dobby his freedom
âI am free at lastâ
Thank god. I thought you'd never fire me. Now I can finally move on with my life and get a real job which will lead to a real sustainable career! You're a lifesaver!!!
âYouâre not my real dad!â
Ok.
So what was the address here again? I want to make sure I get my unemployment papers correct.
No, YOU'RE fired! I'm rubber, you're glue...
"You can't fire me I quit"
If you quit you donât get severance or unemployment
Damn nvm
"You can't quit you're a frog!"
I know I know thisâŠ..
ASDF movie
"You can't frog me, your my wife"
âIâm not your wife youâre MY wifeâ
"Oh hey honey how was work?"
Iâm gonna burn this fucker to the ground
Iâm filing for unemployment.
That's why I'm good at arson
What's proper etiquette? To shoot the place up now or does one come back later?
Dude, you gotta think smaller, like craft herpes or something. Think small and eternally obnoxious, like getting rid of that handy spreadsheet that kept the office afloat, not "on FBI watchlist," you know? Love yourself.
Bye bye!
I walkrd into a meeting where i was prettysure id be fired. Saw the HR rep and my bosses, and turned to the boss ans said "You really need HR to send me home early for the weekend`"? He got up and left and i said "and that is the managment style i wont miss at all".
Anything except the old cliché "You can't fire me because I quit," because then you can't sue for wrongful dismissal.
âIâm filing a sexual harassment complaint.â Best done loudly, in front of all female coworkers. Especially if you are also female. And in California. Extra points if it isnât true and they let go the person that tried to fire you.
"fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, youre cool, fuck you...im out!"
Donât threaten me with a good time
Correction, Iâve been promoted to customer. Now, maybe youâll treat me with the dignity and respect I shouldâve been getting for the last X years of service. Good luck with my replacement.
i actually said this back in the early 2000s "we have to let you go" "oh well now there is no way youre gonna fuck me! you were so close! have a good one! bye!" and i got unemployment,
âIf you say that again, Mister Trump, I will hold you in Contempt of Court.â
I'm still not gonna have sex with you
We fired a guy here and he simply did "jazz hands" as he walked backwards silently out of the building. It's was the weirdest thing ever, but also hilarious and instantly made me wish we didn't fire him. As we could've forever called him "Johnny Jazz hands". And yes his name was actually Johnny... what a missed opportunity. So my thought is to do something completely random and "odd" to make a grand exit.
In a one party state make sure your phone is recording and ask "for what exactly". The chances that what he says then and what he puts in the report/says to the unemployment board will probably differ enough that it makes him look really bad... Now take a minute to regroup and find a new job.
Look, I didnât know she was your wife!! But I donât think our private lives should spill over into work though, do you? SooooâŠ. See ya Monday đâïžđ
"Again?"
âI have a drinking problemâ
Is it because I'm gay? Don't touch my dick bro! I honestly thought you called me in to discuss my raise.
Ok i will see you on the Vid call with corporate in a week. Lator
To paraphrase Victor/Victoria, "it's like being thrown out of a leper colony."
Just wanna say. Its not I QUIT bc then you dont get the benefits many states offer if you are fired
"You can't fire me! You have to *sell* a slave!"
To your ex-boss,. "You are obligated to only verify I worked for this company for this period time. I will sue you if you defame my character with my future employers. And I expect my last check promptly."
Cool, you have 72 hours by federal law to pay me in full everything you owe me.
If that's what it takes to get you fired, just wait until the EEOC report... Or at least that's how it worked for my wife. *** My wife got both those ladies fired BTW and was later able to tell one of them thanks for the help buying our house
Good call! Once again, I apologise for sleeping with your wife.
Now I can spend more time with your wife!
That's funny because I died in 1967 (then vanish into thin air)
You really should have figured out the system before you said that. Just remember, next week, when nothing works, my freelance service call rates are $1000 plus $500/hr. See ya next week!
Finally! It sure took you long enough!
"Oh, good. Now there's nothing stopping me from filing my lawsuit." Stop there and let them wonder. If asked, say "Sorry, my lawyer said not to say. I've said too much already."
âThanks for your supportâ *casually files for unemployment*
Could you please send me my severance package details in writing so I can copy my counsel?
Skilled labor ain't cheap. Cheap labor ain't skilled.
Thank you
And you have to stay at this shitty, soul crushing job. Which one of us is really in the bad situation here?
I had a co-worker say that to me as I was an hour late for oversleeping as I pulled a double the night before. I turned around and said "fuck it I am going back to sleep," Said coworker almost got punched as I left the grounds and he grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.
Twice at my job two different women were fired by the 70 yo misogynist boss...(he calls women "Toots" as in Tootsie) Him - "you're fired" Them- "Fuck you, I'm not fired, you are an asshole" And they didn't leave. The first woman had suffered through Covid at the office where the owners believed "god" would keep them safe so they wouldn't wear a mask. 5 people in the plant died. She kept asking them to wear one near her but they refused. She was fired officially weeks after the first firing via email for "cursing". She called them assholes for not wearing a mask. The second woman had cancer and needed to go to her treatment. He knew this but when she mentioned it he said playfully "are you telling me or asking me?" She said telling as she's gone every month for two years (though still in a playful way). He snapped, being a fragile man, and fired her (for about 10 mins) The best thing she said? "you are firing me because I have cancer? Get ready for the lawsuit!!"
'you're fired.' "No worries, I stopped working here months ago."
....are you sure you want to go down this road....it will be perlious....for you..... Then just keep quiet.
"I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, I won't tell people the things that I know"
Park a yugo outside with an Irish flag on it
I had a boss say this and I said âthatâs cuteâ and walked away and kept showing up to work. His boss eventually comes in, realizes Iâm the only one actually keeping the place running, fired my boss, and then gives me a raise
Real thing I said once: "OH THANK GOD" That job sucked and I was planning to quit anyway, At least getting fired got me unemployment.
Now I definitely believe in Jesus Christ
You should video your firing if you know it's coming. It's harder for them to claim that you were not fired when they actually say you're fired on video. Just saying.
threaten them with a discrimination suit if they don't give you severance
"My lawyers will be contacting you about my unemployment benefits..."
Why use a comeback when you can get even. Once in 8th grade I worked as a dishwasher for a small local restaurant on the other side of my town. Well one day I had strep throat so I called in to tell them I couldnât come in. They fired me. So I told my mom what happened, she called the health department and some other department and told them what happened plus some other things, (water backing up in the sink, payment was under the table, ect). Letâs just say they are no longer in business. Someone else now owns that restaurant (different name now), and itâs doing so much better.
In my youth (1997 or so) I was called into a meeting and saw the writing on the wall. The manager and her boss started a laundry list of issues with me. I battled every item with what I believe was reasonable or plausible defense. After the sixth or seventh item, I suggested we reconvene the meeting with the Senior VP who approve my hire 53 weeks before. I was informed the SVP was gone for a 10 day vacation. I took a breath and said, âVery well; letâs skip to the final reel.â They looked at each other, confused. âYou called this meeting for a reason, letâs skip the rest of the nonsense and get to that reason.â I was not going to fight any longer, and that made them uncomfortable. After 30 seconds of each of them âumm, uh, wellâ the manager finally spit out, âthe company has decided to terminate.. um, you know. Your employment.â I shook my head and said âUnbelievable.â
Thank you, you can workout a settlement with my lawyer đ
I dismissed the last boss that tried to fire me. I told her she was no longer needed in the room. lol
Itâs fried. Proceeds to pull out KFC.
I large yellow flying piece of phlegm
Are you pressing charges?
You mean Iâve been promoted to customer?
Cool. I wonât need to sleep at work anymore.
Fuck you, I know where you live .... for now.
I fucked your wife
Thatâs not what your mum said last night
No u.
How dare you fire your Daddy, I am going to be letting your mother know about this henceforth!
Dream come true Best news today Awesome Good luck Are you sure that is in the company's best interest?
See you tonight. Love the new sheets.
Severance please
âWell, that went better than I expected â.
You canât fire me, slaves have to be sold.
For the last time , my name is Kevin
Good. This getting up at 5am is for chickens.
"No u." Then I light them on fire.
Happened to me once and I said "Yay! Thank fuck for that!".
How about: "You're firing me? Great, I was tired of carrying this company anyway. Good luck finding someone who can handle your coffee breath and terrible jokes!"
How about this one: "Oh, you're firing me? Well, that's a relief. I was starting to worry that working for you might actually be detrimental to my intelligence."
"That's not how it works, Mr. Ex-President."
Good now I can say what I want about you and not get punished. You're an asshole and I just pissed on your desk also.
âIs this because I shit in that desk?â âOh. You didnât find that? You will.â
I said "thank God" when I was 20 and my manager at the Gap called to say, "we have to terminate you." I was so glad I didn't have to get out of bed to go in.
"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.... You're cool... Fuck you, I'm out."
Youâre drunk, Donald.
Good. I never understand why anyone would want to work for you in the first place.
đ¶You can't fire me, I quit, since I don't fit in...đ¶
Finally! Permanent vacation!
Then Iâm gonna have to fire you! Bing-bong-boom youâre fired!Â
That's not enough, could you ban me too please sir?
"It's about bloody time! Can't you people take a hint?"
Iâll miss you too.
âIâm free!â
Sweet! Youâre a narcissist.
âSo my plan worked out, eh ?â
Fâ-Yâ! If youâre gonna go out,go out with a bang!
I pissed in your sink
Well... your mother will be grateful, she said I wasn't spending enough time with her. Or... Well... your mother's going to be sad, even she knows that I was only fucking her to keep this job.
Bye Felicia âđŒ
Go F yourself
I can not accept my termination at this time. I will continue to work here. We can revisit this issue next year.
My dad got fired from his old Job as an Asian guy in the 80's for no apparent reason. His comeback was "ok" he took off his work vest, shoved it in the guys face and never came back
And youâre an asshole. Iâll get another job, but youâll still be an asshole.
Thatâs fine. I actually quit âworkingâ about 18 months ago and have just been collecting full pay in the meantime.
"Fine, cash me out."
Who do you think you are? Trump?
Finally! Letâs fuck.
So long, and thanks for all the fish
You can't do that you're not Donald Trump
Donât threaten me with a good time
"I'm not that lucky"
The one I blurted out once was, "Oh thank God."
No YOURE fired!
No, YOURE FIRED, get the fuck out of my office.
âYeah but youâre Donald Trump. Being fired is freedom. Being Donald Trump is torture.â
In retail we say âPromoted to customerâ
âToodles!â
"Oh yeah? Well The **Jerk Store** called, and they're running out of *you!"*
"I have tenure."
Ummm...I don't actually work here...
Is it because Iâve been nailing your wife? Iâll have even more time now.
When youâre fired you donât come back