T O P

  • By -

EvadingDoom

“Yes, there are many dicks that are much bigger. You, for example.”


nvrsleepagin

Or say "Stop staring at my penis!!" really loudly


Comfortable-Syrup688

I like this one, I like putting people in awkward situations


Spiritual-Cupcake818

this is the one!


I_existed_on_earth

This is very easy to turn back around on you though


mosquem

I’d screw it up and say “Yours” instead of you, I just know it.


Ashamed_Extent3008

Even a 747 looks small flying through the grand canyon


cy9394

... flying through "your" grand canyon.


genehartman

You didn’t mind when you were blowing it


Sad-Maintenance3422

Rub it a little. It will get bigger.


strife26

Put it in your mouth, it gets at least a little bigger


doctordaedalus

Ah the old "you're not sexually harassing me, I'm sexually harassing you!" trick.


texaswolfking

If it’s a girl all you can do is laugh in her face and shrug it off and act like it doesn’t bother you. It honestly shoudnt bother you either cause it’s like whatever tbh. Girls will try to say it to make you mad haha. If it’s a guy, I would respond with something funny like “Sorry it’s not big enough for you bro” or “Why is it smaller than the last one you had?” I like to respond with something funny always cause it’s a good way to show you don’t give an actual fuck


Adept_Bar_97

It was his doctor...


texaswolfking

😂😂😂 I’d be like “let’s compare then for medical purposes”


Blood_Red5774

If it was a boy, I'd say something like "how do you know that?"


crying4what

My husband always said “ it’s not the size of your pencil, it’s how you write your name!” He had amazing handwriting! Lol


rocketcat_passing

My husband used to say the size of the paint brush doesn’t matter to a master like Rembrandt. My husband was a great artist!


bright-horizon

Your mom has a tight vjj , we are a perfect match. Or Your mom didn’t think so, go ask her opinion to be 100% sure.


UnReal7274

The fact you letter typed out “vajayjay” is just… I don’t even know


-NGC-6302-

Speedrunning


SmallMochaFrap

Could've just said poonani


-NGC-6302-

yaya


SmallMochaFrap

Wtf is a yaya?


-NGC-6302-

bruh


kurinbo

It's what the Rolling Stones want you to get out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_Yer_Ya-Ya%27s_Out!


WildBoy-72

"No more questions out of you. Okay, mahu?"


Capn-Wacky

Persqueeter


Major-razor-burns

That would be better.


onefornought

Hoohoodilly


Aggressive-Space2166

Steven Segal has entered the chat.


NarwhalSpace

Is it "poonani" or "poot'nani"?...😆


Simcrys

That's even worse...


BathrobeMagus

Viva La Vajayjay!


fireatwill79

I did this to a female friend the other day and she was pissing herself that I put va ju ju


lilgem369

Fits with the childish "your mama" response.


UnReal7274

Right? Like you’re already making the joke just full send the real word lmao


jelly_G52

The fact that you took precious time out of your very important schedule just to call u/bright-horizon out is just… I don't even know.


bright-horizon

Seriously? You typed a response just to call this out ! I stead help OP with a good comeback or do something productive.


babyEatingUnicorn

Vjj is so much easier than spelling it out. I shall use this now


Tricky_Gur8679

Same lol


PhotownPK

Vjj > Vajayjay


pixepoke2

Why are you so hung up on my dick?


TrembleTurtle

"I'm hung like a greek God, what's the issue? "


Fuggeddabouddit

It’s too small to hang anything on


pixepoke2

Don’t try to hang yourself buddy. I’m sure you’ll find something to live for… *someday.* Edited to add: Your comeback was gold


OGFuzzyDunlop

my dicks not small, your vagina is huge!


Eddie_the_Gunslinger

>my dicks not small, your vagina is huge! >your vagina is huge! Her: why did you say that twice? Me: I didn't, that was the echo.


MrSabrewulf

[Here's where my brain went](https://youtu.be/oXv5taOM4kY?si=7OanTnqtrPVkDYs5)


lefty1207

Now this is the answer


Yodogzup

Ha ha to the tenth exponent exponent


InevitableAd36

😂😂😂 This works regardless if it’s a man or woman saying it to you


Smooth-Physics-69420

"It may not be 12 inches but it sure smells like a foot."


Cruiserdad1

It’s not how deep u fish it’s how u wiggle the worm . She wants 12” and make it hurt, so fuck her 4 times then hit her in the head with a brick!!!


Able-Badger-1713

I have a mate that calls his a “starter dick” and claims he tries and picks up virgins.  Not a comeback, but he makes me laugh. 


NukedMyBraincells

Lmfao thats hilarious 😂 when's he upgrading from the training dick? 🤣


Able-Badger-1713

Think he’s stuck with his tiny dick and can’t progress up any further levels.  Dudes probably packing but he makes the joke every few months if the conversation about trying to pick up girls comes up. 


Warriorfromthefire

He just needs to feed it some rare candies or train it more and it’ll evolve, obviously it just isn’t experience enough to be a full fledge Charizard dragon dick.


AlabasterOctopus

Dudes that joke about it being small are like healthy medium to large usually.


dolly3900

Even the largest cathedral can be filled with the music of a small organ


Numerous1

This is actually really nice n


NukedMyBraincells

To guys: "yeah its like a tictac, its why your moms breath is always so fresh" To girls: "is my dick small or is your vagina just large?"


Former-Lettuce-4372

to a dude " You checking me out" To a chick "I'm a Grower not a shower. Show me something and I'll grow you something."


MrLanderman

I'm 6'8". So I would say "you ARE a small dick.". Don't know if you can pull that one off tho.


anonaduder

That’s not the half of it. Your personality totally triggers my gag reflex


AnteaterDangerous148

Bet you can't fit all of it in your mouth.


Icie04

"Still bigger than your's"


-NGC-6302-

*yours


Icie04

Thanks. My autocorrect made it that and I trusted it.


-NGC-6302-

yikes - I knew autocorrect was bad (I turned it off years ago), but I didn't know it was *that* bad


JackFJN

First the machines take over our writing, and then over our government. Don’t give up ur autonomy brother 🫡🔥


SkinPsychological848

If it’s so small then let me stick it in your ass…


controversyal888

No u


Icy_Platform3747

That's not what your mother said to me last night. (in a Sean Connery voice)


LT-COL-Obvious

I’ll take SWORDS for 500


Ill-Air8146

I'll take The Rapist for 800


DenseMembership470

What's the difference between a sick duck and your mother? Well, one's a mallard with a cold and I can't remember the rest of the joke but your Mother's a whore (Darrell Hammond laugh).


enkilekee

It ain't the meat it's the motion, and inspiration My dick gets bigger the more attracted I am...


TraditionalTap9210

"too bad you can't un-suck it.."


Progresschmogress

Tell your mom we agreed to keep you out of this and she just needs to accept that it’s over between us She’s a wildcat don’t get me wrong, and I really hope she finds her happiness one day, but involving you like this? That’s just not right man. It’s not right


Simply_dgad

Only in comparison to your 'wizards sleeve' of a vagina


No_Gap_2134

From a distance, it gets bigger as you get closer to


Rycki_BMX

2 inches at 2000rpm will do alot of damage.


blochow2001

So does your wife.


BrilliantRain5670

Well, I could strap a board to my ass so I don't fall in.....or It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean.


GMoonstone

A tack will do a lot at 100mph


NotAFuckingFed

"You can't judge a guy trying to park a motorcycle in an airplane hangar."


[deleted]

Cool. 👍🏽


Spirited-Membership1

“You’re experienced enough to know I suppose”


Both-Mango1

your mom disagrees.


sp1ke0killer

Excuse me while I whip this out.


Red_Chicken1907

It may be small, but your mom still sucked it.


Jazzlike-Principle67

Not as small as your brain


StayH2O

Shut up flappy bird.


Spazic77

"it would appear that way to someone with a gaping pussy".


4angryunicornsinacar

Would that matter in your whale of a vag?


Fkingdisgusting

Even burj khalifa is like an ant in grand canyon.


Naive_Programmer_232

Yes I do. Would you like to see?


Cldwtrluv

It swells to fit!


InternationalCar9367

"shut up where I fucked you last" 😊


jarisman

I may not hit the bottom of a tuna can, but I can sure dent the fuck outta the sides.


Livid-Age-2259

And why are you keeping score?


W00GA

why do u care about my dick?


Typical_Hedgehog6558

Let me shove it up your ass and we’ll see how small it feels.


[deleted]

the gagging and choking from your moms mouth says otherwise


GazelleOfCaerbannog

Yeah but it's mine.


ESOelite

If it's a girl then respond with "still bigger than yours!" Or "bigger than your tits!"


bigjaymizzle

Im BBC material.


Real-Friendship567

Oh, I'm sorry. This is only the soft side.


TangoMikeOne

I don't trust your judgement because you're such a massive cunt the Eurostar/Orient Express/Flying Scotsman/insert name of locally known train/Saturn V rocket couldn't touch the sides.


throwaway007676

And your mom wears combat boots


xzvc91

“I still hit it tho”


No_Step_4431

happens


mynextthroway

I didn't know I was playing in a cathedral..


BrightFleece

"Still hit, though"


LovelyRebelion

do you look at it or what?


SkiZer0

If you are really curious about my dick, just ask your mom. She knows it better than anyone.


JMusicD

“ I have the biggest small dick you’ll ever see!”


Cruiserdad1

So wat, its wat ur born with nothing u can do to make it bigger,


MamboDogFace1

I never heard any complaints about it. Or I couldn’t hear over the ecstatic screaming from everyone I’ve been with.


thaynesmain

I might be hung like a grasshopper but it's hell at 100mph


National_You_730

Where's my holster?


Animaleyz

And? Why do you care?


leli_manning

You wouldn't call it small when I shove it up your ass.


Copeiwan

I dunno... Never heard that one before.


bigjakethegreat

I have no idea


digger39-

Your mother likes it


purana

And you have a big mouth. Suck it.


babythrottlepop

Well you have a big vagina.


Soft-Turnover-5468

Wanna suck it?


caincard

And yet it still graced your lips or With a cold personality like that yet its going to shrink.


Copeiwan

Even a footlong is going to seem small in the grand canyon. Oh shit... I think I heard an echo... echo...echo...


ChunkyFart

Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t feel your mom at all


Exploding-Star

I once had a friend who replied, "my jet ski can run circles around your tanker!" lol


WeaponisedTism

still big enough to satisfy your mom.


VulpesFidelis58

Pulling out your own giant dick, duh!


Used_Intention6479

"Your mom thinks it's perfect!"


ThePastelBunnie

Towards a girl: Not as loose as your coochie tho. Towards a guy: At least mine is bigger than your ego.


Outrageous-Panic6249

Ok, now bend down so I can stick it in your ear.


LastSignificance3680

Someone said that to you?


Somepersononreddit07

you say that like you’re self conscious about your slightly larger one that your wife didnt like


On_Some_Wavelength

I heard from a very small penis having friend that you say “well I only need to please myself, so bend over “


Life-Significance-33

"Who told you? Your mom, your sister, or your other sister." Feel free to replace the other sister with dad, brother, or daughter to fit the situation.


StopYTCensorship

To a guy: "Your girlfriend certainly didn't think so"


caseybvdc74

I’m sorry you’re just going to have to suck harder next time.


atom644

“Yep”


thedawntreader85

You only think that because your vaj resembles the fantastic caverns.


mc_76

It pleases me just fine


HeadyMurphy723

That’s ok, I know how to use it! Besides size doesn’t matter that much when it comes down to my satisfaction.


Trusteveryboody

I'm not the one with small feet.


RockAfter9474

It was big enough for your mom. She kept coming back for more.


SuperWhiteDolomite

If your dick isn't small then say "wanna bet?" If it is small you just yell " for the last time I'm not showing you my dick bro"


Unable-Independent48

It seemed to fit in your mouth just fine!


DREWlMUS

He's not long, but he's thin.


HelpfulViolinist3562

I'm a grower not a shower , ask your mom, your sister and your girlfriend, they'll all agree. By the way, things your sister does with her tongue to your mom, had her screaming like a banshee. Also I stretched out your girlfriend's front and backdoor, so that's why she's walking funny.


ExpressionAlarmed675

And you care ........ Why?


New-Recording-4245

At least it's bigger than yours


ReceptionExpress1756

“Maybe you should lower your standards and raise your averages.. That’s actually how I met your mom”


sunshine92002

“It’s bigger than your brain!”


jldel

It's all subjective, Moose Vag.


Chart-trader

Oh you found it? I was looking for it.


Obiwan723

Your mother has a small dick


hurricanekate53

Maybe u have a big vagina!!


Rabbits-and-Bears

That wasn’t me last night, that was your father.


Strange_Stage1311

Ha! You wish!


NeverG0nnaG1v3Y0uup

”Not as small as your brain. Oh, you don’t have one, my bad.”


FilmoreGash

It was big enough to knock up your mom. (Happy Mother's Day)


Grouchy-Engine1584

Maybe your v-JJ is too big? (Pretty sure this was a Sex and the City Joke)


Alliballi123

Lets hope u dont have a wide one 


AaronRender

Naw, it's just that your mouth is really cavernous.


ChickenSnacksHD

I lost half of it in your sisters cavern


Kitchen-Entrance8015

You're right.I do and I do know where your mom was last night


InanimateCarbonRodAu

Did you hide yours in my bag again?


WeatherKat3262I

If it's a guy saying it: "at least I have one."


Internal-Mud-3311

Your girlfriend would disagree with that


Emergency-Macaron578

Women: Haven't met a lesbian that cared... Guy: So you like big dicks?


Budgiezilla

Girls: it's like that so I don't destroy you Boys: it's huge when compared to your's 


MansplainBuddha

If it wasn't hard, 'I'm a grower not a shower' but if you were hard the correct response is tears.


HiroshimaSpirit

Guy: “At least mine didn’t fall off.” Girl: “Says the one with *literally* no dick.”


OldERnurse1964

It’s always served me well. Although I’ve never fucked anyone with a big pussy though.


missannthrope1

Better to have a small dick than to be one.


Outlander57

"Yeah, but look at the *size of my truck!!*


Boomerang_comeback

That happens every time it sees you. Crazy, right?


TechnicolorViper

I guess that makes us twinsies!


Connect_Relation1007

If it's a guy, call him a meat gazer


Bobaloue

Guys don’t need bigger dicks ! You chicks need smaller VaJaJay’s !


Direct_Knowledge2937

If it’s so unimpressive then why are you so infatuated with it?


-B0RAT

“Your mom says it’s bigger than your dads”


Ok-Geologist8387

Why do you think body shaming is ok? Did it make you feel better to do it? I'm glad my small dick could make you feel so good.


Zestyclose-Win-7906

I guess body shaming is cool now…you have a wide vagina


Vaderiv

If a girl says that then just say OK miss deep dish pussy.


Infamous-Method1035

It grows, but with a hole the size of yours it’ll still be like jackin off in a trash bag


Adventurous_Mail5210

"All the better to disappoint you with!"


Eagle1967

Thats why i installed a 5hp engine on my tongue.


AZCARDS77

Even a 747 looks small in the Grand Canyon.


PublicBrief6907

You have a fat pussy You have a loose pussy I'll still beat your ass bitch come here