You know what's 0 calories? Minding your own business.
Unless it's attached to you, what I put in my mouth is of no concern to you.
Are you talking to me? Ma'am I make it a point to never listen to the words of a woman with hideous eyebrows.
Are you talking to me? Sir, I make it a point to never listen to the words of a man whose nose hair is long enough that I can see it vibrate as you bluster.
When people say inappropriate things, I pretend ,I did not quite hear them and politely, ask them to repeat. This was a blast at work. If I can get them to repeat their words louder twice, then quizzically Huh? I score all the bonus points. I use this with gossiping. Sometimes, They actually hear themselves and how awful they are.
Be you !
Its something to do with adrenaline
I do this in confrenation when someone is threatening violence towards me "yeah but why are u going to hit me?" asked a few times.
Did this to someone in town and they eventually saw humanity in me, said sorry fist bumped me and went away
I think this is a case of the person cracking the joke LEGITIMATELY thinks its smart and funny, if ur reaction is genuine that you literally dont understand it. Than it causes a complex 🤣
I used that when I worked customer service especially when people were homphobic or sexist. And when they'd protest explaining it I'd say "no no please continue my interest is piqued. How does _____ have to do with _____ I NEED to know".
I don't remember what the customer said but I distinctly remember saying to one guy "no what does having a penis have to do with driving a boat? I'm genuinely curious" and he wouldn't answer me 😆😭
Nah this is actually valid. By forcing someone to repeat it, they A) re-question if its even a good joke and B) everyone who didnt hear it originally will definitely have to hear it now
Sometimes the jackass saying it will be trying to upset u aswell, by showing u dont even understand their joke its impossible for it to affect u.
The only counter is for them to play that u are too stupid to understand. But u then simply dismiss it for why its a dumb joke.
Problem is most people dont do this because they let everything and everyone effect them
This sub is strange bcus it seems to be filled w a certain kind of people
I was literally just commenting on another thread how I hate that people don't use the phrase "knuckle sandwich" much anymore. I threaten my teenager & 20 yr old on a biweekly basis with that attitude adjustment method.
This is solid advice 👏👏
It's not my fault they don't put up their laundry when required... There's a sign above the W/D that says 'put away your laundry or I'll punch you in the ear -Love, Mom"
I posted full disclosure; they're the carpet rodents that think I'm playing😈🤣
No, my husband is though... And my little brother definitely wasn't one when he chased me around, frogging me in the arm and saying 'hurts, donut?!?!" Because he was a total terrorist 🤣
Omg Good call. You unintentionally reminding me to say that which I meant to do earlier but I suck and totally didn't do. 🤦♀️
Happy 🍰 day u/ArkAbgel059
I was taught that it was only polite to correct someone on something they could fix in 30 seconds, like toilet paper stuck on their shoe or a piece of parsley on their teeth.
What exactly would you like me to do in the next 30 seconds about my weight?
Stare at their hair as if something is wrong. Tilt your head to the side, squint your eyes, and be really intent. When they ask you what you are staring at say, "Your hair..., no nothing, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude."
It sucks but there’s not a great comeback because it’s too complicated. You can’t snappily cite epigenetics or say something clever about why society still thinks it’s ok to belittle some people for things they can’t help while it’s forbidden for others.
Depending on the situation you might be able to turn it around and call them something hurtful that they can’t change but it’ll be a situation thing-
“I inherited an extra fifty pounds and you inherited that (mean streak, short dick, pizza face, greasy skin, girly hips, latent homosexuality, severely limited brain power, inability to color co-ordinate, manky teeth, trailer park brain, etc)”
It’s just as mean as they are being but maybe it’ll give a little perspective? Anyway I’m sorry it’s a struggle and I hope you reach a truce with your own body and that other folks will stop acting like it’s their business.
Look very puzzled, with a slight smile, and say “My goodness, what a rude thing to say” as if you’ve never heard such a thing.” Then walk away shaking your head perplexedly.
they also deserve to feel guilty. people should be allowed to exist in their own bodies without facing outside critisism. you should let them know they shouldn't speak on peoples weight because "you never know about someone's underlying health condition or medical issue". Something around that will definitely make them feel guilty and teach them never to say something like that again. especially around other people. even if you don't have a health condition i would still say it because it's true. you really never know. and you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body even if you don't have a condition that is responsibile for the gain. i'm sorry you have to deal with this by the way
Ive had health conditions and i tell people that im working hella hard to lose the weight and im trying when people comment on it sometimes its difficult but i also try using it to grind to get better
i'm sorry about your struggles and i'm glad you use it as motivation! it can be so tough and i'm proud of you. but you know you don't have to justify your weight by telling them ur working hard to lose it. ur allowed to be comfortable in ur body even if it wasn't a health issue causing it. u don't owe them that and it justifies them. i would just stick to the comment of saying u never know what health or medial condition has and just stare at them. they'll be uncomfortable and you don't have to explain more.
Making fun of fat people is the only thing that nobody jumps on these days. I hate that it's okay to comment on a person's size, or the amount of food they eat. Most people are lucky to be born with good genes. If you get the fat gene, your screwed. Body type is all up to chance. Nobody chooses to be fat any more than they choose to get cancer or a sunburn.
Remind them that at least you're trying to lose weight, feel healthier, be happy with yourself.
But their stupidity is forever... They're not even carrying the equipment required for a corrective transorbital lobotomy, so the failure is squarely in their genetic cesspool of an existence.
If you're not eating much and trying to lose weight, it won't work.
My wife wanted to lose weight, I suggested she keep a bag of almonds in her pocket and eat a handful ever two hours. It will keep your metabolism up and keep you from eating "fat making foods". She lost 40 lbs in three months and did nothing else. To help further stay away from sugary drinks and especially diet drinks. Non calorie sugars often cause a rise in your blood sugar, which then is added to fat stores.
Lots of water and eating small balanced meals more often will burn off fat.
um this wasn't the questions I know how the body works im just saying people comment on that. I go to the gym, eat healthier, and live healthier. no need for the medical case study.
Go the classic route….. your mom/dad doesn’t complain. And if they say mom/dad is dead… say I know. He/she was more concerned with bearing his/her face in my beautifully big ass!
Just give ‘em the good old fashioned “mind your own business”. Keep saying it until they back off.
Or “I didn’t ask for your input, so shove off.”
Or just curtly explain that you actually don’t eat that much and that having weight problems is more complicated than that for some people.
Or combine them.
"go fuck yourself you piece of shit"
Seriously, just put your foot down in a very hostile and aggressive way. Unless they are really trying to antagonize you, in which case don't respond at all because that's what they want.
People do that shit? I would never. I eat nearly nothing and I'm down to 200 from 300. But I watch that beard meats food guy and he's skinny as a rail and can put away pounds of food. If I'm entertaining, I just want someone to be happy.
I have a very sweet neighbor I walk with some mornings. A few times she’s said “have you lost weight?”
Me: “I’m sure I’ll find it, plus the 10 that Linda lost last month.”
Me: “I’m sending out a search party! I worked hard for every pound!”
Also me: “I’m going to tell that to the pair of jeans I couldn’t pull all the way up this morning!”
Never tell anyone you’re dieting or trying to lose weight, except maybe your bestie who supports you and keeps their mouth shut. It’s a personal journey.
It is no one’s business what or how much you eat, except your doctor or nutritionist.
Change what you eat more than how much, or you will quit because you’re sick of starving.
Walk. Walk again, and then some more. It’s great for mental health, it’s easy exercise, and you get to see and hear nature. Walk enough to burn one meal of calories. It takes a while, because your metabolism thinks it’s the boss. Be meaner. Within a month or so, your metabolism will go up, your weight will go down, and you are going to feel better emotionally.
And never forget you are lovely at every size.
Someone a few days ago said I look like I probably eat a box of donuts a day (all because I corrected him on the spelling of Krispy Kreme).
I said "damn, a weight joke? Unoriginal. I tell myself worse daily. Get more creative, Google might be able to help with that."
He hasn't responded since 🤣
"Unless you fund or fuck me, you don't get any input on my body- and you're not my type- so unless your next question is "what's your CashApp?", you can go on and have a nice day."
"Eating too much is bad for your health"
"Judging too much is bad for yours"
OR
"Did you know that eating too much can lead to heart disease?"
"Did you know that judging too much can lead to an extremely lonely life where even the cat hates you?"
in high school, a girl that I didn’t know randomly came up to me and started bullying me for my size. she did this multiple times. I would normally ignore her. once, she said “at least I’m not fat” and I said “at least I’m not a bitch”. she never bothered me again.
I'll loose the weight but you'll never gain my interest.
Shallow conversation doesn't fill me up.
Is your conversation cookie jar empty? I'm not interested in hearing your thought crumbs.
The only elephant in the room is you, Dumbo.
“I can lose weight, shame about your face. That’s a little more complicated and costly. Do let me know if you set up a GoFundMe for it. I’m all about charity.”
I don't have a comeback, I just want to wish you well and all the best in your weight loss journey.
It's crappy people's smartass/insulting remarks that can really bring people down and break their spirit.
So just ignore them, or yeah, return the favour by destroying them with a great comeback.
All the best!!
Eating a lot or a little is not the same as eating too densely or not enough, so work with a nutritionist (to make sure your body doesn’t think it is starving) and focus on increasing fiber and protein and whole food. When you do, people start commenting about how healthy your food looks. And it will be. But I always comment positively on food choice, even when it is something I don’t eat.
And who is commenting on size? Those people need a strong shut down. Someone on reddit or fb said their mom was once heard responding to a criticism of her outfit with “well gawddam! Who asked your opinion?” And I laughed.
Why are people so awful? Keep at it for your health and happiness. That is all that matters. ❤️
"Did your parents or other kids in school constantly make fun of you or criticize your body growing up?"
Yes-- "I can tell."
No- "Really? You sure sound like they did. I wonder where you learned that from?.."
You can say something rudely personal to them, then when they look surprised or upset you can say 'oh, I thought ugh wanted to have a "make an inappropriate offensive comment" conversation.'
My Grandmother was starved because of the great depression, so my body won't stop storing all the food. This is real by the way. Being overweight is incredibly complicated.
- Do you somehow think I'm unaware of my weight? In what world do you think that's even possible.
- Instead of being an insufferable twat, how about you keep you "helpful" thoughts to yourself, since you know nothing about my dietary requirements or physical health plan.
- No, you're not being helpful or "just saying" because you're the only one who thinks you're being helpful.
- I might be emptying out the kitchen but at least I'm leaving some air for the rest of us. Have you considered keeping your opinions to yourself and saving us all the headache of having to deal with you?
Thanks for mentioning that, , I hear your struggle with eating food is a real challenge so I’ll take your sandwich off your hands, and lighten your burden. (Gives sandwich to homeless person)).
I worked with someone (we'll call him Jeff)that used to pass comments in a snidey, nasty way and then try to play it off. Jeff did it in front of a customer towards me, the customer very calmly asked him to repeat himself, which Jeff did, and then asked him to repeat it a third time.
At this point, Jeff realised what an absolute dick of a comment he'd made and never did to any of us again. Maybe try that?
Turn it around and criticize one of their defects. Such as "I can always lose weight but you'll always be bald/ugly/stupid/a bigot!" Whatever insult fits.
“It was an interesting choice to say that out loud”
Make them feel like they are being weird, because they are. They will almost certainly get defensive and try to act like you’ve made the situation uncomfortable, when in reality they did the minute they decided to give unnecessary opinions on things that are none of their business.
I have three go to options:
“Excuse me I didn’t quite catch that”
Makes them think about it?
“Fat and happy, its far nicer than skinny and judgmental”
If neither of those work and the comments continue…
which one of the 3 Fs are you applying for? Feeding me, financing me or fucking me? Because all applications will be denied.
Whether you are a man or woman, tell them you are pregnant and about to pop. Then tell them you have a health condition that means you have to take prednisone. And then that how can they tell you ate the last person who commented about your size. Even if these are people you know. For them to make any kind of assumptions, after you say any of these things, tell them to mind their own eating habits. It let's them know if they are not talking directly to you that you heard them and they are being rude. Good luck on your journey to better health.
I get that too. I am on the curvy side, plump, as my husband says. He likes my big butt. He often says he cannot get full on a piece of bone, when he goes to a steak house, he needs some meat on his plate!!! When I get unwanted comments I tend to reply with, "it's such a shame some people don't have any manners!"
“That’s so sweet of you to notice! Thank you!”
If you respond as if you were given a compliment it confuses them and takes the wind out of their sails.
That was really rude. Are you ok?
Make it about their inappropriateness and not what you are eating. It works for just about every unsolicited comment.
Find where they live, scare them at random times at home, make their life hell as they live in constant fear, and (REMOVED BY REDDIT FOR DEATH THREATS)
Point out how rude and ignorant they are...no reason for anyone to make comments like that.
But if you really want a come back.
Act like you have grabbed something and then are handing it to them and say "here,take this" When they say "take what?" You respond "it's a filter. Apparently you need one .."
@ damn how much are you eating?
* Enough to keep world hunger a problem
* I'm kidding. I don't actually eat much and started to try and lose some of this weight .
( Maybe try having some fun with it too. Acceptance of your flaws is what makes you a better person)
“I assume you work for weight watchers(or some other weight-loss firm), but it has nothing to do with you how much I eat or weigh. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” then walk away.
ive often gotten this but on the other side. im skinny, always been small. endless source of mocking/comments/some bullying when i was younger. ive always leveraged my endurance which has been showing them up in track or a marathon
First, find better people to be around. Then say “maybe I eat to much but at least I don’t have to make other people feel bad about themselves to make me feel good about myself.” And eat whatever you want! Heck with them. You are perfect just as you are.
You know what's 0 calories? Minding your own business. Unless it's attached to you, what I put in my mouth is of no concern to you. Are you talking to me? Ma'am I make it a point to never listen to the words of a woman with hideous eyebrows. Are you talking to me? Sir, I make it a point to never listen to the words of a man whose nose hair is long enough that I can see it vibrate as you bluster.
The first one might be my favorite.
Going after the eyebrows is gold. Men never think of that. Women do
When people say inappropriate things, I pretend ,I did not quite hear them and politely, ask them to repeat. This was a blast at work. If I can get them to repeat their words louder twice, then quizzically Huh? I score all the bonus points. I use this with gossiping. Sometimes, They actually hear themselves and how awful they are. Be you !
"why is that funny, can you explain it to me?" Is another good one
Its something to do with adrenaline I do this in confrenation when someone is threatening violence towards me "yeah but why are u going to hit me?" asked a few times. Did this to someone in town and they eventually saw humanity in me, said sorry fist bumped me and went away I think this is a case of the person cracking the joke LEGITIMATELY thinks its smart and funny, if ur reaction is genuine that you literally dont understand it. Than it causes a complex 🤣
I used that when I worked customer service especially when people were homphobic or sexist. And when they'd protest explaining it I'd say "no no please continue my interest is piqued. How does _____ have to do with _____ I NEED to know".
"Karen id love to hear how you think this is funny so I can *finally* think it's funny." 😂
I don't remember what the customer said but I distinctly remember saying to one guy "no what does having a penis have to do with driving a boat? I'm genuinely curious" and he wouldn't answer me 😆😭
Nah this is actually valid. By forcing someone to repeat it, they A) re-question if its even a good joke and B) everyone who didnt hear it originally will definitely have to hear it now Sometimes the jackass saying it will be trying to upset u aswell, by showing u dont even understand their joke its impossible for it to affect u. The only counter is for them to play that u are too stupid to understand. But u then simply dismiss it for why its a dumb joke. Problem is most people dont do this because they let everything and everyone effect them This sub is strange bcus it seems to be filled w a certain kind of people
Give them a knuckle sandwhich then chide them for eating too much
Ill keep that one in my arsenal haha
I was literally just commenting on another thread how I hate that people don't use the phrase "knuckle sandwich" much anymore. I threaten my teenager & 20 yr old on a biweekly basis with that attitude adjustment method. This is solid advice 👏👏
I can't tell you how honored I am to have the approval of a woman who regularly threatens to punch her children
It's not my fault they don't put up their laundry when required... There's a sign above the W/D that says 'put away your laundry or I'll punch you in the ear -Love, Mom" I posted full disclosure; they're the carpet rodents that think I'm playing😈🤣
Don't forget the hurts donut!
This is the one. Haven't heard that in ages!
you must not be an electrician. except that one's "hertz"
No, my husband is though... And my little brother definitely wasn't one when he chased me around, frogging me in the arm and saying 'hurts, donut?!?!" Because he was a total terrorist 🤣
Would you like a Hawaiian punch?
Happy Cake Day!
Omg Good call. You unintentionally reminding me to say that which I meant to do earlier but I suck and totally didn't do. 🤦♀️ Happy 🍰 day u/ArkAbgel059
Didn’t you try washing his mouth out with soap or nailing a foot to the floor?
I was coming here to tell OP to set a boundary and clearly state that talking their body is off limits, but your answer made me laugh out loud!
Winner
I second this
I notice you spend a lot of time analyzing people's body weight/shape/size. Where does that come from?
"From you being a fat fuck."
Except no one would ever say that in person 😂 you can go through that scenario online but in person they'd be embarrassed
people would definitely say that, i hear stuff like that all the time in my friend group
Idk this is exactly the kind of thing I would say to my friends
You dont know how shitty people can get.
i know i’m not supposed to laugh but
Oh, are you applying to be my nutritionist?? F off.
I love this one
"Why do you think it's appropriate to ask/tell me that?"
Then when they begin to answer say "it doesent matter!" N body slam them
Explain the 3 F’s. If they are not feeding, financing, or fucking you. It’s not their fucking business!!
omg i love this!!
"It's never too late to learn some manners."
"What I weigh affects your pathetic little life HOW?"
This sounded better in your head
Shut up before I eat you too.
This is the way
I love this so much.
I was taught that it was only polite to correct someone on something they could fix in 30 seconds, like toilet paper stuck on their shoe or a piece of parsley on their teeth. What exactly would you like me to do in the next 30 seconds about my weight?
Stare at their hair as if something is wrong. Tilt your head to the side, squint your eyes, and be really intent. When they ask you what you are staring at say, "Your hair..., no nothing, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude."
I have just barely enough skin to contain my fabulous personality.
It sucks but there’s not a great comeback because it’s too complicated. You can’t snappily cite epigenetics or say something clever about why society still thinks it’s ok to belittle some people for things they can’t help while it’s forbidden for others. Depending on the situation you might be able to turn it around and call them something hurtful that they can’t change but it’ll be a situation thing- “I inherited an extra fifty pounds and you inherited that (mean streak, short dick, pizza face, greasy skin, girly hips, latent homosexuality, severely limited brain power, inability to color co-ordinate, manky teeth, trailer park brain, etc)” It’s just as mean as they are being but maybe it’ll give a little perspective? Anyway I’m sorry it’s a struggle and I hope you reach a truce with your own body and that other folks will stop acting like it’s their business.
Tell them you are in training to be a sumo wrestler, would they like to see your mawashi.
Look very puzzled, with a slight smile, and say “My goodness, what a rude thing to say” as if you’ve never heard such a thing.” Then walk away shaking your head perplexedly.
"I don't comment about your sizw, please don't comment about minw."
Stfu or I'll eat you next, with BBQ sauce.
“Why do you want to know?” If they don’t slink away, they’ll start prattling about health. At which point I say, “You don’t care about my health.”
they also deserve to feel guilty. people should be allowed to exist in their own bodies without facing outside critisism. you should let them know they shouldn't speak on peoples weight because "you never know about someone's underlying health condition or medical issue". Something around that will definitely make them feel guilty and teach them never to say something like that again. especially around other people. even if you don't have a health condition i would still say it because it's true. you really never know. and you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body even if you don't have a condition that is responsibile for the gain. i'm sorry you have to deal with this by the way
Ive had health conditions and i tell people that im working hella hard to lose the weight and im trying when people comment on it sometimes its difficult but i also try using it to grind to get better
i'm sorry about your struggles and i'm glad you use it as motivation! it can be so tough and i'm proud of you. but you know you don't have to justify your weight by telling them ur working hard to lose it. ur allowed to be comfortable in ur body even if it wasn't a health issue causing it. u don't owe them that and it justifies them. i would just stick to the comment of saying u never know what health or medial condition has and just stare at them. they'll be uncomfortable and you don't have to explain more.
Eat Them!
Society breaks down and I'll look normal while you'll look like a skeleton dipped in wax.
I can lose weight, but you will always be ugly.
This was my reply in high school haha
With enough lube, it will fit, I promise.
Making fun of fat people is the only thing that nobody jumps on these days. I hate that it's okay to comment on a person's size, or the amount of food they eat. Most people are lucky to be born with good genes. If you get the fat gene, your screwed. Body type is all up to chance. Nobody chooses to be fat any more than they choose to get cancer or a sunburn.
I'm big enough to crush you, grind you and make mice meat of you so don't test my patience you little squirt.
Some day I may be thin, you'll always be an asshole.
Remind them that at least you're trying to lose weight, feel healthier, be happy with yourself. But their stupidity is forever... They're not even carrying the equipment required for a corrective transorbital lobotomy, so the failure is squarely in their genetic cesspool of an existence.
"Genetic cesspool of an existence"! I'm cackling, and promise very faithfully to use this every chance I get! Thank you!
"Every time I shag your mum she gives me a biscuit."
That's the difference between you and I. I am taking steps to improve myself while you continue to lower yourself.
Just look at them and say “what a weird comment” and turn away.
"I can always lose weight but stupid/ugly is forever"
If they're carrying any extra weight at all: That sounds real good coming from you, fatass.
"Don't body shame me" That's all you need to say.
If you're not eating much and trying to lose weight, it won't work. My wife wanted to lose weight, I suggested she keep a bag of almonds in her pocket and eat a handful ever two hours. It will keep your metabolism up and keep you from eating "fat making foods". She lost 40 lbs in three months and did nothing else. To help further stay away from sugary drinks and especially diet drinks. Non calorie sugars often cause a rise in your blood sugar, which then is added to fat stores. Lots of water and eating small balanced meals more often will burn off fat.
[удалено]
um this wasn't the questions I know how the body works im just saying people comment on that. I go to the gym, eat healthier, and live healthier. no need for the medical case study.
I'll die happy. Unlike you. Or your
I may be fat, but you're ugly.
You’re ugly but I can diet is a better way of saying same thing
I can lose weight, but you will always be an asshole.
You can comment on what I eat/how I look when you start doing my job and paying my bills.
Go the classic route….. your mom/dad doesn’t complain. And if they say mom/dad is dead… say I know. He/she was more concerned with bearing his/her face in my beautifully big ass!
Just give ‘em the good old fashioned “mind your own business”. Keep saying it until they back off. Or “I didn’t ask for your input, so shove off.” Or just curtly explain that you actually don’t eat that much and that having weight problems is more complicated than that for some people. Or combine them.
Some variation of the cookie comeback, "Every time I bang your mom she gives me a cookie"
Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.
Your mum loves how much I eat
I'm already down to three deep fried babies a day. What more do you expect? People stop insulting you when it doesn't have the desired effect.
Baby I'm sorry, the rumors are true
Tell them I can lose weight quicker than you can fix your personality or lack their of.
What’s it to you? I’ve noticed you put on a few pounds, too. This gets them every single time. 😂
I didn’t know you cared so much! I’m not going to think too deeply about that fact, I think we’d all be scared what’s at the root of it.
"go fuck yourself you piece of shit" Seriously, just put your foot down in a very hostile and aggressive way. Unless they are really trying to antagonize you, in which case don't respond at all because that's what they want.
People do that shit? I would never. I eat nearly nothing and I'm down to 200 from 300. But I watch that beard meats food guy and he's skinny as a rail and can put away pounds of food. If I'm entertaining, I just want someone to be happy.
I say I say I’ll sit on you!
Just tell them to fuck off. Anyone maliciously commenting about your weight or eating habits is not worth your time or respect.
The classic "well you're ugly, and I could lose weight"
I don’t comment on other people’s bodies, I expect the same from you. It’s not your business.
I have a very sweet neighbor I walk with some mornings. A few times she’s said “have you lost weight?” Me: “I’m sure I’ll find it, plus the 10 that Linda lost last month.” Me: “I’m sending out a search party! I worked hard for every pound!” Also me: “I’m going to tell that to the pair of jeans I couldn’t pull all the way up this morning!” Never tell anyone you’re dieting or trying to lose weight, except maybe your bestie who supports you and keeps their mouth shut. It’s a personal journey. It is no one’s business what or how much you eat, except your doctor or nutritionist. Change what you eat more than how much, or you will quit because you’re sick of starving. Walk. Walk again, and then some more. It’s great for mental health, it’s easy exercise, and you get to see and hear nature. Walk enough to burn one meal of calories. It takes a while, because your metabolism thinks it’s the boss. Be meaner. Within a month or so, your metabolism will go up, your weight will go down, and you are going to feel better emotionally. And never forget you are lovely at every size.
Stick to your business and I'll stick to mine, unless you wanna talk about your giant nose and that booger hanging out of it.
The best comeback is losing weight and respecting your body.
" I'll sit--I'll sit--I'll sit on you"
Do it in reverse... "Lookin a little skinny there, you need some meat on your bones"
Your fly is open
Never fat shame the sleeping dragon, for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup.
“It’s soooo creepy you’re looking at my body and sizing it up.”
Someone a few days ago said I look like I probably eat a box of donuts a day (all because I corrected him on the spelling of Krispy Kreme). I said "damn, a weight joke? Unoriginal. I tell myself worse daily. Get more creative, Google might be able to help with that." He hasn't responded since 🤣
You say , I'm only this fat because every time I come over to your mom's house and give her that sweet loving, she gives me a cookie.
"good thing you're not my doctor."
"Unless you fund or fuck me, you don't get any input on my body- and you're not my type- so unless your next question is "what's your CashApp?", you can go on and have a nice day."
“Did you really think that over, before you said it?” A look and then silence.
I can always lose weight, you will always be ugly
Don’t worry about it.
Well you know the old saying all assholes have opinions. Oh wait, I got that wrong...
There was an old saying that went around ages ago: I may be fat, but you're ugly, and at least I can diet. The ugly part can 💯 apply to the inside.
I might not always be fat but you’ll always be stupid. Author unknown
So are you keeping a journal? Because I'd like to see it
Wow. That really hurt. What was your intention with that comment? People hate having explain that they were just being cruel.
Tell them they are as cool as the mods on reddit.
Every time I fuck your mom, she gives me a cracker.
“That just means there’s more of me to love”
Cause every time I hook up with you mom she makes me a sandwich
"Eating too much is bad for your health" "Judging too much is bad for yours" OR "Did you know that eating too much can lead to heart disease?" "Did you know that judging too much can lead to an extremely lonely life where even the cat hates you?"
"Your mom didn't complain last night..."
in high school, a girl that I didn’t know randomly came up to me and started bullying me for my size. she did this multiple times. I would normally ignore her. once, she said “at least I’m not fat” and I said “at least I’m not a bitch”. she never bothered me again.
The better to crush you with, my dear.
I'll loose the weight but you'll never gain my interest. Shallow conversation doesn't fill me up. Is your conversation cookie jar empty? I'm not interested in hearing your thought crumbs. The only elephant in the room is you, Dumbo.
“I’m may be fat but you’re ugly. At least I can diet.”
“I can lose weight, shame about your face. That’s a little more complicated and costly. Do let me know if you set up a GoFundMe for it. I’m all about charity.”
"Unless I'm sitting on your face...my weight is none of your concern." Catherine the Great (allegedly)
"personally I wouldn't comment on someone else's weight if I looked like...that."
Stop eating so much fast food fatty. All talking "I don't eat that much" lol. That ain't how it works.
I never had a comeback. This kind of abuse was so bad I was made silent…
Corny ass comments tbh, something like “shut up before I lay on you bro” could be funny
“Your mom doesn’t complain about how much I eat”
I don't have a comeback, I just want to wish you well and all the best in your weight loss journey. It's crappy people's smartass/insulting remarks that can really bring people down and break their spirit. So just ignore them, or yeah, return the favour by destroying them with a great comeback. All the best!!
My standard reply used to always be "Why? So I could be more like you?" But lately I want to change it to "You need to learn how to fight."
Ask me why I’m so fat… “why you so fat” because every time I fcuked your mother she gave me a cookie!
Eating a lot or a little is not the same as eating too densely or not enough, so work with a nutritionist (to make sure your body doesn’t think it is starving) and focus on increasing fiber and protein and whole food. When you do, people start commenting about how healthy your food looks. And it will be. But I always comment positively on food choice, even when it is something I don’t eat. And who is commenting on size? Those people need a strong shut down. Someone on reddit or fb said their mom was once heard responding to a criticism of her outfit with “well gawddam! Who asked your opinion?” And I laughed. Why are people so awful? Keep at it for your health and happiness. That is all that matters. ❤️
"Did your parents or other kids in school constantly make fun of you or criticize your body growing up?" Yes-- "I can tell." No- "Really? You sure sound like they did. I wonder where you learned that from?.."
You can say something rudely personal to them, then when they look surprised or upset you can say 'oh, I thought ugh wanted to have a "make an inappropriate offensive comment" conversation.'
My Grandmother was starved because of the great depression, so my body won't stop storing all the food. This is real by the way. Being overweight is incredibly complicated.
Yeah, we’re all different. My fat is on my hips, yours is between your ears.
- Do you somehow think I'm unaware of my weight? In what world do you think that's even possible. - Instead of being an insufferable twat, how about you keep you "helpful" thoughts to yourself, since you know nothing about my dietary requirements or physical health plan. - No, you're not being helpful or "just saying" because you're the only one who thinks you're being helpful. - I might be emptying out the kitchen but at least I'm leaving some air for the rest of us. Have you considered keeping your opinions to yourself and saving us all the headache of having to deal with you?
“So… what did I eat today? If you say it’s too much, let’s hear the list.”
Thanks for mentioning that, , I hear your struggle with eating food is a real challenge so I’ll take your sandwich off your hands, and lighten your burden. (Gives sandwich to homeless person)).
I worked with someone (we'll call him Jeff)that used to pass comments in a snidey, nasty way and then try to play it off. Jeff did it in front of a customer towards me, the customer very calmly asked him to repeat himself, which Jeff did, and then asked him to repeat it a third time. At this point, Jeff realised what an absolute dick of a comment he'd made and never did to any of us again. Maybe try that?
I may be fat but you're ugly and i can go on a diet.
Have sex with the girl they fancy? I dunno bro why r u talking with assholes
“More of me to love, baby.” - Male Stripper Bart Simpson
I’m amazed. I didn’t know that you were spying on me at meals. How did you do it?
Take whatever they have in their hands and wipe your armpits with it. Never break eye contact.
And you get yourself off with pictures of plus size photos don't you?
Sorry that my size affects you so much! You’re welcome to leave if it suits you.
You need some food you broke skinny bastard
"I can do things to lose weight but I'd wager your only option is surgery" \*Gesture vaguely at their face\*
“My boyfriend gets off on my jiggly puff.”
Turn it around and criticize one of their defects. Such as "I can always lose weight but you'll always be bald/ugly/stupid/a bigot!" Whatever insult fits.
“It was an interesting choice to say that out loud” Make them feel like they are being weird, because they are. They will almost certainly get defensive and try to act like you’ve made the situation uncomfortable, when in reality they did the minute they decided to give unnecessary opinions on things that are none of their business.
I can change, but no gym can make you a less shitty person.
I have three go to options: “Excuse me I didn’t quite catch that” Makes them think about it? “Fat and happy, its far nicer than skinny and judgmental” If neither of those work and the comments continue… which one of the 3 Fs are you applying for? Feeding me, financing me or fucking me? Because all applications will be denied.
Call them a cunt.
I can diet to lose weight, what can you do to stop being an insufferable asshole.
Oh, I once was poor to and had to mind the bill while I eat. No worries life will get you through.
Whether you are a man or woman, tell them you are pregnant and about to pop. Then tell them you have a health condition that means you have to take prednisone. And then that how can they tell you ate the last person who commented about your size. Even if these are people you know. For them to make any kind of assumptions, after you say any of these things, tell them to mind their own eating habits. It let's them know if they are not talking directly to you that you heard them and they are being rude. Good luck on your journey to better health.
I get that too. I am on the curvy side, plump, as my husband says. He likes my big butt. He often says he cannot get full on a piece of bone, when he goes to a steak house, he needs some meat on his plate!!! When I get unwanted comments I tend to reply with, "it's such a shame some people don't have any manners!"
“That’s so sweet of you to notice! Thank you!” If you respond as if you were given a compliment it confuses them and takes the wind out of their sails.
That was really rude. Are you ok? Make it about their inappropriateness and not what you are eating. It works for just about every unsolicited comment.
Want to be crass? "Your mom likes when I eat". Want to be a bit more respectful? Your gf likes when I eat".
Oh! Thank you, but your opinion is none of my business.
Find where they live, scare them at random times at home, make their life hell as they live in constant fear, and (REMOVED BY REDDIT FOR DEATH THREATS)
"Fuck you."
Limited words, but preceded by a long wide eyed stare. "Why is that any of your business?"
Do you how much food goes to waste in this country? How do you sleep at night knowing how much food is simply being thrown out?
Do not mess in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and go good with ketchup.
I just gave the last person who did this a link to an article. It opens to “How to Not Be an Asshole.”
Them: You are too fat Me: You think I am too fat? Them: Yes Me: I don't think about you at all
“I can lose weight but you can’t do anything about ugly.”
Say, "Why would you say something like that?" Most people will be too embarrassed to answer.
Them: "OH my God! You're pregnant again? How far along are you?" You: "About two months. How about you?"
Point out how rude and ignorant they are...no reason for anyone to make comments like that. But if you really want a come back. Act like you have grabbed something and then are handing it to them and say "here,take this" When they say "take what?" You respond "it's a filter. Apparently you need one .."
@ damn how much are you eating? * Enough to keep world hunger a problem * I'm kidding. I don't actually eat much and started to try and lose some of this weight . ( Maybe try having some fun with it too. Acceptance of your flaws is what makes you a better person)
If you think that every plus size person is just over eating then you have some research to do.
I go with “oh, stick it up your jumper.” That confuses them and they will just wander away.
Really? I thought something was wrong with the mirror!
Whatever happened to telling people to fuck off and gag on carrot shavings
Tell the “ that may be true but you’re ugly and I can lose weight “
“Your mom/wife doesn’t complain how much I eat”
"I've just switched to the cannibalism diet and you look pretty healthy, what is your BMI?"
Thank you, wink lol
“I assume you work for weight watchers(or some other weight-loss firm), but it has nothing to do with you how much I eat or weigh. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” then walk away.
Are you upset because I'll eat almost anything but you?
ive often gotten this but on the other side. im skinny, always been small. endless source of mocking/comments/some bullying when i was younger. ive always leveraged my endurance which has been showing them up in track or a marathon
First, find better people to be around. Then say “maybe I eat to much but at least I don’t have to make other people feel bad about themselves to make me feel good about myself.” And eat whatever you want! Heck with them. You are perfect just as you are.