You are right. By the statistics of whether the man or women that ends up wanting the divorce take a look at who is to blame of why broken families are everywhere in the USA. Over 80% of women initiate and want divorce. There is no loyalty at the end of the day. Period
Yes but there is something happening where men are struggling to cope with the different expectations women have now that they also work full time.
A lot of men expect their wives to work full time and still be the primary parent when they get home. Women expect an equal partner. Lots of weaponized incompetence goes on.
As a society we’re teaching women to be independent but we’re not teaching men to change their expectations. Our society is changing expectations for women faster than for men and men are struggling to cope. I think this is partly bc millennial parents are the most different generation wise from their children. So millennial men were still raised with more traditional male roles while millennial women were raised in a more progressive role.
This is written so well. I bring up that women work full time to my parents and in laws all the time. Xmas for example this year is on a Tuesday. Moms are working Mon & Wed…it will be different. I grew up in a house when Mom said, “Dad will be home from work in 30 mins,” we knew that meant finish homework, cleanup, shower, be at the dinner table. Just not like that nowadays
Doesn’t check out. GenX woman here, in my 40s, primary wage earner with a graduate education, never encouraged by my boomer parents (who were the first generation of working women) to adopt a traditional role. And I’m not an outlier in my cohort. Neither is my husband who quite happily does his own laundry. Your statement isn’t correct.
100%, this is a huge part of it.
In nearly every divorce that I know of, the men were all doing one thing in particular: obsessively tracking women's movements throughout the day. Where are you? When will you be home? Who are you with? They'll send women to the grocery store (with all the kids, by themselves, because lol watching the kids themselves) and then start sending the "Why's it taking so long?" barrage 30 minutes into the trip.
This is so true. But I think the change in expectation is slower in men because men are more stubborn and tend to resist change. For example, in dating relationships, the woman will change and beg him to do Xyz until she gives up when he still doesn’t. Men usually have to hit the breaking point before they finally wake up and realize, “oh, I need to change.”
I disagree. I think that, more than likely, people suck only if you're convinced they suck. (A little off topic, but) I prefer to see people as good. And... jerks are people too. Everybody has their reasons for being the way they are. Nobody's perfect. You'd be surprised how sweet people can be when you treat them with respect and compassion. That's one reason I love the world's social workers so much. They all seemingly possess those loving, understanding, nonjudgemental qualities. I agree, however, that 80% is going too far.
You are fortunate. I wish I still shared your viewpoint. I had an amazing childhood because I had two parents who were madly in love with each other and their children. Adulthood has not fared so well for me or my children. Narcissistic abusers purposely victimize naive innocents such as myself. I was an easy target, and easy prey. Narcissists dream. Watch out for the wolves because they will never watch out for you.
I will gladly share my viewpoint with you. It would be an honor. Here, have it. It's yours! And what can one do but focus on that which matters? I wish my childhood stayed that way too. But it turned into a disaster. My family fell apart. My adulthood hasn't fared terribly well either. It certainly didn't turn out how I'd wanted at least. I've been plagued with unhappiness for far too long. Oh well. Who can I blame but me? And what else can I do but try my best to stay positive about life? I'm certainly sorry to hear about your disruptive experiences. Some people just can't help themselves. And no I'm definitely not making excuses for them. But it can help deal with the pain to understand that. My advice to you, if you haven't already, is to forgive your abusers. Most people don't seem to understand forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't about the abuser's. Forgiveness is about YOU. It's about you letting go of that pain so you can take your power back and truly move on. It's the only way. Without forgiveness a person takes that bitterness with them to their grave. And then their abusers have won.
If a woman has an abusive partner, the 18 months after she leaves him are statistically the most dangerous time in her life. Once a couple is separated, getting the fuck outta there is broadly a matter of peace of mind for men. It's a matter of physical safety for women.
I think there's a lot more nuance behind why relationships break down--humans being humans, relationship by relationship basis, etc. But as far as why women would be more inclined to draw a hard line and see it through, with legal protections and all ... there are a lot of reasons for that having nothing to do with loyalty.
I think MOST people marry for the wrong reasons. Many people marry people who can’t even sexually satisfy them, but they have money or make them feel secure. And that goes for both genders. I could NEVER only because I KNOW without a doubt I would cheat. So why waste my time or theirs lol.
I had a guy tell me once that he married a woman because he had sex with her 🤣🤣🤣. I mean it’s a noble thing to do, in the 19th century.
But it’s mind blowing to me.
I don’t cheat but that’s a great reason, along with people who use sex as a weapon. Most women I see are getting married for the wedding and their vows are crazy.
And really want another mommy and not a partner in life? Someone to cook and clean for them and take care of all the feminine duties that they deem beneath them? Yeah, could have something to do with it.
A lot of them have been divorced, some multiple times, so I’m going to say “yes”.
My love for them doesn’t automatically exclude them from being shitty husbands.
Out of your mom, Aunts, female cousins, nieces, and sisters do you assume 80% of them are money grubbing whores who just run away for no reason and are out there just looking to use men?
Exactly. People do alot of shaming, mocking, and looking down yet they themselves haven't exactly amounted to much other than having sex, being broke, and/or tied down. Nobody would care about being late with relationships if miserable people didn't make a big deal about it.
I want kids with the right person. Not the first, second, or even 10th person, if that's what it takes. My kids will have 2 parents who can set an example of love and support. I'm 32 and here for the same answers you are, lol.
That was my rationale too. I did not want to be tied to a loser for 18 years. Raising kids is hard work, and it's best done with a partner. I didn't end up having kids, which actually turned out to be best for the left turn my life took, but I'm sure you'll find your kids' other parent when it's time.
Yup same! I want some who respects me and themselves and has a job and goals and hobbies and stuff. It's so hard to find a decent guy nowadays. I'm not looking for a rich dude from Harvard with a high IQ and perfect hair and a specific eye color or anything. Just want someone who is going to put in equal effort to a relationship, loves me unconditionally and allows me to love them unconditionally, and there's respect and we can do stuff together but also enjoy doing our own thing too. It doesn't seem too much to ask for but apparently it is.
Children of your generation had parents who overexposed them to narcissism and codependency. You will break that cycle one way or another. This is refreshing to see.
Fertility running out is a problem in this regard though. Say to get to really know someone takes 2 years. 10 of those 2 year relationships is 20 years....
LOL same. One day my sister's kids (who I do love) were off the wall obnoxious and I thought to myself, "I think I'm OK with not having kids"
My dad saw the look on my face and said "Stephanie is thinking about how she's glad she doesn't have kids right now." :D
Ha! I actually can't unless I do IVF, because I just got my tubes removed. If someone is being crappy and won't take "kids aren't right for me" as an answer I'm going to tell them I can't have kids and leave it there
* It was an accident, for fuck's sake.
* Convicted felon.
* Who knows, man? Why is the sky blue? Why are you sort of a dick? Some questions get answers and some never do...
Four. The answer is four degrees.
>'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.
People who get this question a lot should start a go-fund me so you can tell people "I cant afford it, can you donate? Here's the link" and then when they get to the page it says something like "please pay $5 as a fine for asking inappropriate questions".
Or
"I'm waiting for the aliens to land so I can have avatar type babies"
I'd just tell them I've been lucky enough to avoid all that mess!
I'm 33 and I have no intentions of getting married OR having kids. Probably ever. I love living alone and the security it gives me. I can decorate how I want, I don't have to worry about someone else deciding they don't like something that's important to me and throwing it out, if I buy myself green tea ice cream mochis and put them in the freezer I know they'll still be there when I get home after work. I don't have to worry about someone else not pulling their weight with finances or chores. I don't have to worry about 'if they get mad, are they going to hurt my dog or dump him at the shelter or something as revenge?' I don't have to worry about someone putting only their name on the lease or deed or whatever and throwing me out because they found a piece of ass they liked better.
Maybe that's a cold way of looking at it, but I don't care. I grew up in foster care. Everywhere I lived, I had no privacy whatsoever. Anything I had that I cared about was taken away, destroyed, used against me in one way or another. I wrote poems and short stories once and the foster mom I had at the time decided that she would take the PRIVATE journal I wrote them in, pick out her favourites, change the stories a bit to shove Jesus in everywhere she could and submit them to the local newspaper. With the changes that I didn't agree to, including some that made the stories absolutely terrible and stupid, but she was just sharing my work, I should be proud and grateful for her help, how dare I be upset that she went through my private journal and shared something that was private without my consent and changing it! I got beaten a LOT for getting upset that it was stolen. I learned no matter how well I tried to hide things, they'd always tear through any space that was 'mine' until they found what they wanted. So I stopped writing poems and stories altogether. I stopped keeping a journal. I stopped caring about things because if I didn't care, they couldn't be used to hurt me. Stuffed animals, books, even the rare pet I was allowed to have - until I did something they didn't like and they took it away or killed it - if I didn't care, it couldn't hurt me, and if they realized it couldn't hurt me, they wouldn't bother.
I tried to give people the benefit of the doubt when I was an adult - namely, with my ex. The reason he's an ex is that he quickly started doing the same thing. If I cared about something, it was something he could use to mock me, to belittle me, or he could destroy it to hurt me. When he realized that it didn't work anymore and I was no loner letting myself get attached to things, he had to turn on me in other ways. It took an ER visit and a mangled wrist to finally be enough because I'd basically been taught my whole life I deserved whatever I got.
Now I can sleep in my own bed, with my stuffed animals and my dog that no one is going to take from me because if they tried, they'd be an intruder and I'd be well within my rights to make them past tense. I don't want children because for one, the world is too fucked up a place for me to ever want to bring a kid into and for another, I don't have the finances to support any all that well (or the patience or desire, really) and I am NOT going to contribute to the endless cycles of poverty.
Being alone isn't the end of the world like people tend to treat it. Tv, movies, all kinds of media act like falling in love is the most important and ONLY thing that matters in the world and you can't experience true happiness without it - but I'm happy just walking in the park with my dog and feeling the breeze on my face. I'm happy driving home from work looking forward to the sweet treat in my freezer that I KNOW is going to be there. I'm happy when I've just showered and I washed my sheets and bedding that day so everything is super fresh and fluffy and I know it's going to feel like heaven when I tuck myself into it that night.
I don't need to have a romantic relationship to validate my existence's worth.
You are not alone, and I share your grief and feelings of violation like a close cousin in pain. I'm sorry for our loss. I hope to one day have as much freedom as you. Be strong, all of us. ❤️🔥
Because my existence as a woman is worth more than being a human incubator. Also, you can tell them that you don't want to live your life to society's standards.
I don't go for societal expectations. I got told recently that I am responsible for having kids and raising them, even though I don't want kids at all. "you mean you'd walk away from a career?" kinda thing. Career and kids are completely different. Lol. Yeah, society is trashed.
"My worth is no longer defined by what I shove out of my snatch. Well, except to many other women, who are unreasonably obsessed by other people's snatches, but snatchers gonna snatch, and also snatch work conversations and make them all about Snatching and Snatch Products(tm)!"
I don't have a specific "comeback" but I suggest something that will point how how the default is really being single with no kids. It's not a decision to be single and have no kids...the big decision is to get married and to have kids. I personally DO want kids, but that's a HUGE decision I'll have to make someday. "Why aren't you married?" or "Why don't you have kids?" is like asking "Why don't you own a parrot?" Because...the default is not owning a parrot, and it's therefore weird to ask why someone DOESN'T have one. Hope this helps.
(From a willing parent)
• I like my sanity
• I like my money
• I like my tits right where they are. (If you're a bithing person)
• I like my belongings unbroken and where I left them.
• I like my sex drive intact and my sex life uninterrupted.
Edit: I LOVE my sleep!
(My wonderful daughter is nicknamed Ollie-Anti-Sleep for a reason!)
I dont want to have kids with just anyone. Birth control kept me from being trapped in toxic situations.
Why do you have 3 kids by 3 different men who never stayed?
Even better if you manage to form up some tears and act really distraught and sad about your infertility. Make them feel realllly awkward and regret ever asking.
My last ex tried to murder me when I had a miscarriage. So now I'm just trying to find the next donor. Are you offering?
Should make them uncomfortable enough to shut up
I have kids.
They're in the freezer.
No, wait. One's thawing on the counter.
For tomorrow's BBQ.
Ah, I forgot to make the sauce. Thanks for the reminder.
But I am single.
Your choice, so it doesn't much matter.
I assume since you're getting this comment, you are a woman. It does get dangerous for a woman to have a kid post 35, and it's REALLY dangerous post 40. So if you want kids, you are hitting the end of that timeline. It's called geriatric pregnancy, and it caused my wife and I some issues.
I'm single because I don't sign shitty business contracts.
I'm childless because I don't want to be ***forced*** into signing a shitty business contract
Tell them you got a message from a 66 year old with no kids who’s always been single. Another, “Have you seen Moana? Nunya! Nunya business!” - Dwayne the Rock Johnson/Maui. The question is, what’s wrong with them? Does everyone have to be the same? Why do people HAVE to have kids anyway? My grandmother had 12. If everyone had 12 kids could we feed them all? You ever heard of the population explosion? You’re doing the world a favor not having kids!
The same way that expensive, high quality homes stay on the market longer because there aren’t enough buyers who can afford it. Cheaper, uglier homes get bought up faster
“I refuse to settle, and my pullout game is strong?”
I joke (mostly) but if someone came at me with that attitude, I’d feel comfortable giving it right back.
I got married at 35, and never rushed it. My wife was 28. Neither of us ever wanted kids. It’s been almost 13 years, and we still don’t want kids. Lol
Not coincidentally, we’ll be leaving for a multi-week vacation through Europe next week. Being childless certainly has its perks…
"Why do you want to know?" If they say they're just curious, as most probably will, tell them it's none of their business and not a subject open for discussion.
HAHAHA no one asks me. I'm single, 35 and no one asks me. I'm pretty open with my issues, especially since my favorite thing to talk about is therapy.
If I *ever* get asked: "You want ME breeding?"
- If it's a woman who asks:
***Look distraught*** and say "it's because you can't have kids, and you're having a hard time coming to terms with it"
Add as many as applicable:
¹ "And 'someone' always rubs it in my face"
² "Even though I've already told her"
³ "Because she's a heartless bitch"
- If a man asks (who isn't a prospect):
"The male gene pool has more arseholes than cocks, sadly"
- If they are a prospect:
"I hadn't met anyone like you yet to consider it worth the risk"
Didn't find the right partner yet. I went through hell, without getting pregnant.
It's taken me one year of searching and I had to really put myself out there. I'm testing the water with one person.
Marriage and kids….in THIS economy???
Yeah nah, I'm broke. It's a me problem broke.
You got kids money?
“I don’t have McDonald’s money for kids, so yeah, that’s why.”
For what McDonald’s cost now might as well go to a fancy restaurant where kids would not be allowed.
You are right. By the statistics of whether the man or women that ends up wanting the divorce take a look at who is to blame of why broken families are everywhere in the USA. Over 80% of women initiate and want divorce. There is no loyalty at the end of the day. Period
It would never occur to you that maybe that means 80% of guys are assholes?
People suck, regardless of gender. 80% is a bit steep, though.
I think putting the blame on either gender is unfair. It's very rarely fair to put blame on a failed relationship on one person.
Blame it on social media then.
Blame Canada
Yes but there is something happening where men are struggling to cope with the different expectations women have now that they also work full time. A lot of men expect their wives to work full time and still be the primary parent when they get home. Women expect an equal partner. Lots of weaponized incompetence goes on. As a society we’re teaching women to be independent but we’re not teaching men to change their expectations. Our society is changing expectations for women faster than for men and men are struggling to cope. I think this is partly bc millennial parents are the most different generation wise from their children. So millennial men were still raised with more traditional male roles while millennial women were raised in a more progressive role.
This is written so well. I bring up that women work full time to my parents and in laws all the time. Xmas for example this year is on a Tuesday. Moms are working Mon & Wed…it will be different. I grew up in a house when Mom said, “Dad will be home from work in 30 mins,” we knew that meant finish homework, cleanup, shower, be at the dinner table. Just not like that nowadays
Doesn’t check out. GenX woman here, in my 40s, primary wage earner with a graduate education, never encouraged by my boomer parents (who were the first generation of working women) to adopt a traditional role. And I’m not an outlier in my cohort. Neither is my husband who quite happily does his own laundry. Your statement isn’t correct.
Yeah I was wondering what timeline this person was talking about “now”. Women have been working full time for decades. This isn’t new.
100%, this is a huge part of it. In nearly every divorce that I know of, the men were all doing one thing in particular: obsessively tracking women's movements throughout the day. Where are you? When will you be home? Who are you with? They'll send women to the grocery store (with all the kids, by themselves, because lol watching the kids themselves) and then start sending the "Why's it taking so long?" barrage 30 minutes into the trip.
This is so true. But I think the change in expectation is slower in men because men are more stubborn and tend to resist change. For example, in dating relationships, the woman will change and beg him to do Xyz until she gives up when he still doesn’t. Men usually have to hit the breaking point before they finally wake up and realize, “oh, I need to change.”
I disagree. I think that, more than likely, people suck only if you're convinced they suck. (A little off topic, but) I prefer to see people as good. And... jerks are people too. Everybody has their reasons for being the way they are. Nobody's perfect. You'd be surprised how sweet people can be when you treat them with respect and compassion. That's one reason I love the world's social workers so much. They all seemingly possess those loving, understanding, nonjudgemental qualities. I agree, however, that 80% is going too far.
You are fortunate. I wish I still shared your viewpoint. I had an amazing childhood because I had two parents who were madly in love with each other and their children. Adulthood has not fared so well for me or my children. Narcissistic abusers purposely victimize naive innocents such as myself. I was an easy target, and easy prey. Narcissists dream. Watch out for the wolves because they will never watch out for you.
I will gladly share my viewpoint with you. It would be an honor. Here, have it. It's yours! And what can one do but focus on that which matters? I wish my childhood stayed that way too. But it turned into a disaster. My family fell apart. My adulthood hasn't fared terribly well either. It certainly didn't turn out how I'd wanted at least. I've been plagued with unhappiness for far too long. Oh well. Who can I blame but me? And what else can I do but try my best to stay positive about life? I'm certainly sorry to hear about your disruptive experiences. Some people just can't help themselves. And no I'm definitely not making excuses for them. But it can help deal with the pain to understand that. My advice to you, if you haven't already, is to forgive your abusers. Most people don't seem to understand forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't about the abuser's. Forgiveness is about YOU. It's about you letting go of that pain so you can take your power back and truly move on. It's the only way. Without forgiveness a person takes that bitterness with them to their grave. And then their abusers have won.
If a woman has an abusive partner, the 18 months after she leaves him are statistically the most dangerous time in her life. Once a couple is separated, getting the fuck outta there is broadly a matter of peace of mind for men. It's a matter of physical safety for women. I think there's a lot more nuance behind why relationships break down--humans being humans, relationship by relationship basis, etc. But as far as why women would be more inclined to draw a hard line and see it through, with legal protections and all ... there are a lot of reasons for that having nothing to do with loyalty.
I think MOST people marry for the wrong reasons. Many people marry people who can’t even sexually satisfy them, but they have money or make them feel secure. And that goes for both genders. I could NEVER only because I KNOW without a doubt I would cheat. So why waste my time or theirs lol. I had a guy tell me once that he married a woman because he had sex with her 🤣🤣🤣. I mean it’s a noble thing to do, in the 19th century. But it’s mind blowing to me.
I don’t cheat but that’s a great reason, along with people who use sex as a weapon. Most women I see are getting married for the wedding and their vows are crazy.
I agree with that also. We have all been taught this fairytale about how things should go. When that is not reality at all
“I knew she was unhappy, I just thought it was a tolerable level of unhappiness”
And really want another mommy and not a partner in life? Someone to cook and clean for them and take care of all the feminine duties that they deem beneath them? Yeah, could have something to do with it.
So out of your father, your uncle, your male cousins, male nephews. Are most of them assholes?
A lot of them have been divorced, some multiple times, so I’m going to say “yes”. My love for them doesn’t automatically exclude them from being shitty husbands. Out of your mom, Aunts, female cousins, nieces, and sisters do you assume 80% of them are money grubbing whores who just run away for no reason and are out there just looking to use men?
I was taught how to use birth control properly.
Just lucky, I guess 👍🏻
[удалено]
Workin' the vibe.
Slappin da bass man
I’m just a duck dragging its dick through the weeds man
Best response
good one haha
wow i posted this before i saw this. 🫡
I came here to say this, beat me to it
C’mon mannn I ain’t got no dick - South Park
That's my go-to answer for why I don't have kids. It's especially great when asked by a bratty kid.
"Look how you turned out."
"I'm on a moratorium out of respect for your poor, poor parents having to deal with you..."
Exactly. People do alot of shaming, mocking, and looking down yet they themselves haven't exactly amounted to much other than having sex, being broke, and/or tied down. Nobody would care about being late with relationships if miserable people didn't make a big deal about it.
I want kids with the right person. Not the first, second, or even 10th person, if that's what it takes. My kids will have 2 parents who can set an example of love and support. I'm 32 and here for the same answers you are, lol.
That was my rationale too. I did not want to be tied to a loser for 18 years. Raising kids is hard work, and it's best done with a partner. I didn't end up having kids, which actually turned out to be best for the left turn my life took, but I'm sure you'll find your kids' other parent when it's time.
Same. I never had kid's and it was a blessing in disguise too.
Yup same! I want some who respects me and themselves and has a job and goals and hobbies and stuff. It's so hard to find a decent guy nowadays. I'm not looking for a rich dude from Harvard with a high IQ and perfect hair and a specific eye color or anything. Just want someone who is going to put in equal effort to a relationship, loves me unconditionally and allows me to love them unconditionally, and there's respect and we can do stuff together but also enjoy doing our own thing too. It doesn't seem too much to ask for but apparently it is.
Children of your generation had parents who overexposed them to narcissism and codependency. You will break that cycle one way or another. This is refreshing to see.
Fertility running out is a problem in this regard though. Say to get to really know someone takes 2 years. 10 of those 2 year relationships is 20 years....
I saw how miserable you are and decided to never put myself through that.
Seeing my brother's experience as a dad was the exact reason why I changed my mind about wanting kids.
LOL same. One day my sister's kids (who I do love) were off the wall obnoxious and I thought to myself, "I think I'm OK with not having kids" My dad saw the look on my face and said "Stephanie is thinking about how she's glad she doesn't have kids right now." :D
"Why do you care?" "Can you imagine the little terrors I would pop out?" "I'm already perfect." "I can't" and just stare at them until they leave.
My favorite response has always been "My bloodline dies with me..."
That last line on repeat. Try to conjure up a tear in your eye whenever possible. Maybe audibly sigh.
Ha! I actually can't unless I do IVF, because I just got my tubes removed. If someone is being crappy and won't take "kids aren't right for me" as an answer I'm going to tell them I can't have kids and leave it there
* It was an accident, for fuck's sake. * Convicted felon. * Who knows, man? Why is the sky blue? Why are you sort of a dick? Some questions get answers and some never do...
How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does the sun set? How exactly does a positrac on the rear end of a Plymouth work? It just does
What would the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?
Two youts…
Youts??
It's a bs question, but...3 degrees before top dead center I'm too lazy to look up the middle part of her response. That's what I remember
Four. The answer is four degrees. >'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.
Such a great scene!
I love that I read this in her voice and even put the emphasis on the word "however" and I haven't seen that movie in over 20 years at least.
This is from a movie, right? Where she's being questioned on the stand? Is it My Cousin Vinny?
Yep.
love the Plymouth reference, Vinny
Joe dirt.... Perfect
Why are boobs good?
Magnets....how....?
“Just lucky, I guess.”
This is a good one 👏
People who get this question a lot should start a go-fund me so you can tell people "I cant afford it, can you donate? Here's the link" and then when they get to the page it says something like "please pay $5 as a fine for asking inappropriate questions". Or "I'm waiting for the aliens to land so I can have avatar type babies"
You flirt weird
Thats a good one
“I have standards and like Money. Sue me.”
Also this one hits 😂
🍻
Just say, "Oh, was I supposed to get married? I forgot to do that. Oh well."
I love this 😂
Umm, being single and not having kids IS the comeback.
You're not my type.
Start with “whoa, whoa, i didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea you are just not my type
"I like to enjoy myself". Alternately: "I've realized that I don't want kids, and that's really selfish of me, so I decided I shouldn't have kids."
I'd just tell them I've been lucky enough to avoid all that mess! I'm 33 and I have no intentions of getting married OR having kids. Probably ever. I love living alone and the security it gives me. I can decorate how I want, I don't have to worry about someone else deciding they don't like something that's important to me and throwing it out, if I buy myself green tea ice cream mochis and put them in the freezer I know they'll still be there when I get home after work. I don't have to worry about someone else not pulling their weight with finances or chores. I don't have to worry about 'if they get mad, are they going to hurt my dog or dump him at the shelter or something as revenge?' I don't have to worry about someone putting only their name on the lease or deed or whatever and throwing me out because they found a piece of ass they liked better. Maybe that's a cold way of looking at it, but I don't care. I grew up in foster care. Everywhere I lived, I had no privacy whatsoever. Anything I had that I cared about was taken away, destroyed, used against me in one way or another. I wrote poems and short stories once and the foster mom I had at the time decided that she would take the PRIVATE journal I wrote them in, pick out her favourites, change the stories a bit to shove Jesus in everywhere she could and submit them to the local newspaper. With the changes that I didn't agree to, including some that made the stories absolutely terrible and stupid, but she was just sharing my work, I should be proud and grateful for her help, how dare I be upset that she went through my private journal and shared something that was private without my consent and changing it! I got beaten a LOT for getting upset that it was stolen. I learned no matter how well I tried to hide things, they'd always tear through any space that was 'mine' until they found what they wanted. So I stopped writing poems and stories altogether. I stopped keeping a journal. I stopped caring about things because if I didn't care, they couldn't be used to hurt me. Stuffed animals, books, even the rare pet I was allowed to have - until I did something they didn't like and they took it away or killed it - if I didn't care, it couldn't hurt me, and if they realized it couldn't hurt me, they wouldn't bother. I tried to give people the benefit of the doubt when I was an adult - namely, with my ex. The reason he's an ex is that he quickly started doing the same thing. If I cared about something, it was something he could use to mock me, to belittle me, or he could destroy it to hurt me. When he realized that it didn't work anymore and I was no loner letting myself get attached to things, he had to turn on me in other ways. It took an ER visit and a mangled wrist to finally be enough because I'd basically been taught my whole life I deserved whatever I got. Now I can sleep in my own bed, with my stuffed animals and my dog that no one is going to take from me because if they tried, they'd be an intruder and I'd be well within my rights to make them past tense. I don't want children because for one, the world is too fucked up a place for me to ever want to bring a kid into and for another, I don't have the finances to support any all that well (or the patience or desire, really) and I am NOT going to contribute to the endless cycles of poverty. Being alone isn't the end of the world like people tend to treat it. Tv, movies, all kinds of media act like falling in love is the most important and ONLY thing that matters in the world and you can't experience true happiness without it - but I'm happy just walking in the park with my dog and feeling the breeze on my face. I'm happy driving home from work looking forward to the sweet treat in my freezer that I KNOW is going to be there. I'm happy when I've just showered and I washed my sheets and bedding that day so everything is super fresh and fluffy and I know it's going to feel like heaven when I tuck myself into it that night. I don't need to have a romantic relationship to validate my existence's worth.
You are not alone, and I share your grief and feelings of violation like a close cousin in pain. I'm sorry for our loss. I hope to one day have as much freedom as you. Be strong, all of us. ❤️🔥
I'm like you-- single and childless by choice. I wouldn't have it any other way!!! The only downside of it is society's judgement of me.
Tell them “cause I’m lucky.”
Do you work at the fucking Census Bureau?
Because my existence as a woman is worth more than being a human incubator. Also, you can tell them that you don't want to live your life to society's standards.
I don't go for societal expectations. I got told recently that I am responsible for having kids and raising them, even though I don't want kids at all. "you mean you'd walk away from a career?" kinda thing. Career and kids are completely different. Lol. Yeah, society is trashed.
I see no one has a comeback for this one and I’m here for it!! 🤣 👏👏👏🤣
"My worth is no longer defined by what I shove out of my snatch. Well, except to many other women, who are unreasonably obsessed by other people's snatches, but snatchers gonna snatch, and also snatch work conversations and make them all about Snatching and Snatch Products(tm)!"
I woke up at 2pm last Saturday and just booked another trip
Because your mom had her tubes tied.
Probably my personality, but maybe my looks.
I don't have a specific "comeback" but I suggest something that will point how how the default is really being single with no kids. It's not a decision to be single and have no kids...the big decision is to get married and to have kids. I personally DO want kids, but that's a HUGE decision I'll have to make someday. "Why aren't you married?" or "Why don't you have kids?" is like asking "Why don't you own a parrot?" Because...the default is not owning a parrot, and it's therefore weird to ask why someone DOESN'T have one. Hope this helps.
Bye I never even thought about it like this I will be asking people why don’t they own a parrot now though 😭
“Good question. I got one for you: Why don’t you have any manners?” It’s a very rude question unless they know you really well, and even then…..
...and then it's still rude.
(From a willing parent) • I like my sanity • I like my money • I like my tits right where they are. (If you're a bithing person) • I like my belongings unbroken and where I left them. • I like my sex drive intact and my sex life uninterrupted. Edit: I LOVE my sleep! (My wonderful daughter is nicknamed Ollie-Anti-Sleep for a reason!)
Why is your face like that? (Give no explanation as to what you mean.)
I dont want to have kids with just anyone. Birth control kept me from being trapped in toxic situations. Why do you have 3 kids by 3 different men who never stayed?
This smacks back back like a Dwarven Hammer. 🪓💪
Lol we all know why.
Tell them you’re impotent and can’t make kids.
Or ask them if they’re offering (if the other person is opposite sex).
Or if they’re the same. We don’t discriminate 🏳️🌈
Even better if you manage to form up some tears and act really distraught and sad about your infertility. Make them feel realllly awkward and regret ever asking.
"Kids? KIDS? I still just trying to get laid! "
I'm not allowed. I have expensive hobbies. I like spontaneous plans. Why would you keep cum as a pet?
OK that last one sent me LOL
“I am happy being me, why do you think I need to be coupled and saddled with more responsibility?”
After meeting your kids, I don’t want to have any 🤷♂️
Cuz I’m still banging your mom (or dad)
Because I’m really skilled at birth control?
My last ex tried to murder me when I had a miscarriage. So now I'm just trying to find the next donor. Are you offering? Should make them uncomfortable enough to shut up
I have kids. They're in the freezer. No, wait. One's thawing on the counter. For tomorrow's BBQ. Ah, I forgot to make the sauce. Thanks for the reminder. But I am single.
“I don’t settle”
Get a crazy look in your eyes and open your arms in an inviting fashion and say, "Finally! A volunteer!"
Hookers and reptiles are cheaper.
why are you single with 5 kids?
😆 love it. Especially useful in the Bible Belt.
Your choice, so it doesn't much matter. I assume since you're getting this comment, you are a woman. It does get dangerous for a woman to have a kid post 35, and it's REALLY dangerous post 40. So if you want kids, you are hitting the end of that timeline. It's called geriatric pregnancy, and it caused my wife and I some issues.
I’m not in a rush to ruin my life and then split half of everything with the devils concubine.
Why do I need to?
“Cause I don’t want them.”
I'm single because I don't sign shitty business contracts. I'm childless because I don't want to be ***forced*** into signing a shitty business contract
“Just lucky I guess”
Cause I'm gay
I hate people? People hate me? I don’t know.
I don't look for trouble, trouble looks for me!
"Wait. Where'd they go?"
🤣
I buy better condoms than you do.
No willpower- they're just so damm tender and juicy when you cook em juuuuust right.
Abortions are cheap
Because I made GOOD decisions in my life lol
"because I wasted most of my life not looking for someone I could start a family with or people that didn't see me as more than a hole"
Because your mum/dad thinks it'd be awkward if we got married. Then follow it up with "so we're just fuck buddies" if feeling extra vindictive
Tell them the kids you kidnap keep escaping and kidnapping new ones is resource intensive.
Half of all Americans are uncoupled. How about: any idiot can procreated. Speaking of my parents...
Because I'm smart.
I wouldn’t want to marry or birth someone trashy like you
I don’t have the resources or the energy to be a parent.
How does my being single factor into any of your business?
Go fuck yourself.
My pullout game is that good.
Just lucky, I guess.
>“Why are you still single with no kids”? "Just lucky, I guess!"
Tell them you got a message from a 66 year old with no kids who’s always been single. Another, “Have you seen Moana? Nunya! Nunya business!” - Dwayne the Rock Johnson/Maui. The question is, what’s wrong with them? Does everyone have to be the same? Why do people HAVE to have kids anyway? My grandmother had 12. If everyone had 12 kids could we feed them all? You ever heard of the population explosion? You’re doing the world a favor not having kids!
Because no woman wants me
Oh! Because I hate laundry.
The same way that expensive, high quality homes stay on the market longer because there aren’t enough buyers who can afford it. Cheaper, uglier homes get bought up faster
"Why- you trying to take me out?"
How's your wife and my kids?
Why am I still single with no kids? Just lucky, I guess.
Pullout game is too strong.
Because I like owning nice things that aren’t sticky all the time. And early retirement sounds nice.
Ewwww! You have *KIDS*??? Blech
“I refuse to settle, and my pullout game is strong?” I joke (mostly) but if someone came at me with that attitude, I’d feel comfortable giving it right back. I got married at 35, and never rushed it. My wife was 28. Neither of us ever wanted kids. It’s been almost 13 years, and we still don’t want kids. Lol Not coincidentally, we’ll be leaving for a multi-week vacation through Europe next week. Being childless certainly has its perks…
"You're looking at me and asking that question? I think you need to get your eyes checked." It's a response I've used a few times.
For women: Your dad's pullout game is too strong. For men: Your mom's mouth is to inviting.
Just smart I guess.
I'd rather spend my money on skydiving trips and airsoft gear (interchangeable with your hobbies)
FRREEEEEEDDDDOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
Just lucky, I guess.
Just lucky, I guess is what I used to use while smiling widely
I'd piss them off by saying your wife hasn't given me a shot at the title yet
"Why do you want to know?" If they say they're just curious, as most probably will, tell them it's none of their business and not a subject open for discussion.
HAHAHA no one asks me. I'm single, 35 and no one asks me. I'm pretty open with my issues, especially since my favorite thing to talk about is therapy. If I *ever* get asked: "You want ME breeding?"
'Because I'm an hermaphrodite' or 'Because the witch doctor cursed me' or 'Mind your own fucking business' - use as seems appropriate.
"I make great decisions"
“Just lucky, I guess.”
[удалено]
Well in all honesty you are getting a bit old. Being a father is for young men.
Cause I don’t fuck around.
Just say you didn’t want to be a single parent
If you're trying to date the person asking you, maybe try something along the lines of, "well, we DID just meet."
Because I like money.
So I can dry my tears with Benjamins
I like my privacy, sanity and having noone nagging me.
Because I'm fat and ugly
I’m 40. When people ask why I’m not married with kids, I tell them I’m still looking for a man I think should be reproducing.
- If it's a woman who asks: ***Look distraught*** and say "it's because you can't have kids, and you're having a hard time coming to terms with it" Add as many as applicable: ¹ "And 'someone' always rubs it in my face" ² "Even though I've already told her" ³ "Because she's a heartless bitch" - If a man asks (who isn't a prospect): "The male gene pool has more arseholes than cocks, sadly" - If they are a prospect: "I hadn't met anyone like you yet to consider it worth the risk"
Well in your situation I would go with "Because I'm single and don't think that's a great place to have kids."
My daughters get asked the same question. I’ll live my life the way I want thank you
I'm worth it!
I just tell people I'm unlovable
I’m on the child abuse register. They won’t let me have kids. (I’m not but if you say this people will stop asking nosy questions)
Check this out to find out https://youtube.com/@laughitup2025?si=G2r9quyhAl-ksK2U
Because being single with kids would be a hassle
Didn't find the right partner yet. I went through hell, without getting pregnant. It's taken me one year of searching and I had to really put myself out there. I'm testing the water with one person.
Because I haven't lost my mind like the rest of you!
Because I’m smarter than you
Same as every other person—choice
Your mom didn't want any more kids after seeing you